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Transcript

Messy Advice... | When Caring Feels Pointless · Neighbourly: Real Stories of Care and Community

• 0:00
  This one's for anyone who's ever stared at a mountain of care,
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  meals, texts, late night prayers, and thought,
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  does any of this actually matter? Let's be honest,
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  it's hard to keep pouring out when nothing seems to pour back. When
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  you care deeply but the situation stays the same. When the
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  people you're trying to help seem stuck or worse,
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  unmoved. And after a while, faithfulness starts to feel
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  like futility in a nicer outfit. You followed up for the third
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  time, brought food, stayed available. You're
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  not looking for applause, but you were hoping for at least a
• 0:37
  flicker of change. Instead, it it feels like you're investing in
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  something with zero return. The spreadsheet of your soul
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  starts whispering, is it even worth it? This is
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  messy advice for people who care, for anyone wondering if faithful
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  love still counts when the results don't. I'm your host,
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  Johan, on the edge of helpful from somewhere between good intentions
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  and should I even keep doing this. Today's
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  question is one that's quiet but heavy.
• 1:07
  Let's get right into it. I've been loving,
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  serving, and trying to be consistent, but I'm not
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  seeing any fruit. How do I keep caring when it feels like
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  nothing is changing? We've
• 1:21
  all been here, and if you've ever felt discouraged by the gap between
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  your effort and the outcome, this episode is for you.
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  According to a 2023 stats Canada report,
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  nearly sixty percent of volunteers said that they struggle to see the
• 1:37
  long term impact of their work, but most continue anyway,
• 1:41
  hoping that it's worth it. So according to this, we're not giving
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  up. We're just giving while wondering, does
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  this really help anyone? And still showing up because hope's
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  the kind of stubborn you can't always explain.
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  So what do you do when your love feels like it's not going anywhere?
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  Sometimes just showing up starts to feel like code for
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  slowly burning out with a smile. You keep doing the right
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  things, sending the text, delivering the meal,
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  sitting with someone in grief. But when nothing changes,
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  the voice in your head gets louder. Why bother?
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  We wanna believe that every act of care sparks transformation.
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  But often, it feels like maintenance, holding
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  space, being present in something that still hurts,
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  and it's hard not to wonder if it would even matter if you stopped.
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  And, yes, sometimes it feels like the only transformation
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  happening is in your own slowly fraying
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  patience. Consider this scenario. You're
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  walking alongside someone in recovery or deep grief.
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  You've prayed with them, stuck by them, driven them,
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  checked in, and yet, months later, it
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  feels like they're stuck in the same struggle. No
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  breakthrough. There hasn't been any turning point that you've been waiting
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  for. Just the same ache on repeat. You're
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  starting to feel like a benchwarmer in their story. You're cheering
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  them on. You're present, but always outside the real action,
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  and it's starting to feel personal. Let's take a look at some
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  scripture. Let's get biblical. Biblical.
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  We're looking at the seed parables in Mark four. So
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  Jesus tells a story about a farmer who scatters seed and
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  then, in what might be the least motivational moment in scripture,
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  goes to bed. Not an all night vigil,
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  no 10 soil improvement strategy,
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  just sleeps and rises night and day,
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  and the seed sprouts and grows, though he doesn't know
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  how. That line always gets me. He does not know
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  how. In a culture that celebrates insight,
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  strategy, and tight control over outcomes,
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  Jesus offers a parable about holy cluelessness.
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  The farmer does his part. He shows up. He sows,
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  and then he lets go of the outcome. There's no
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  productivity chart, no time lapse footage.
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  The growth happens beneath the surface in mystery
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  with zero feedback loop. The farmer keeps trusting
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  the process even when the field looks exactly the same as it
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  did the day before and the day before that. This
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  isn't Jesus glorifying laziness. This is
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  Jesus telling us, hey. The kingdom doesn't grow by hustle.
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  It grows by trust. Because real love, like
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  seeds, usually works in silence and rarely on
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  your timeline. Don't confuse silence for failure.
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  You don't have to know how it works. You just have to trust that it
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  does. You see, faithful care doesn't always come with
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  proof, and loving someone well doesn't guarantee that they'll
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  change. But what you're doing still matters,
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  not because of what it produces, but because of who you're becoming
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  in the process. And that's the real fruit. And love
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  that shows up without a scoreboard, that's kingdom stuff.
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  Your faithfulness might not be flashy, but it's deeply
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  formative. For them, maybe, but it's
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  definitely formative for you. So if you're tired of
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  being the consistent one, the caring one,
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  the still here one, know this. You're
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  not weak for wanting results, but you're strong
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  for loving without them. And maybe someone around you needs
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  that kind of quiet encouragement too.
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  Hey. If you got a question or if you wanna get in on a group
• 5:52
  of like minded people, head over to our Care Impact podcast group
• 5:56
  on Facebook and join us there. And hey, you can check out our website
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  at careimpact.ca if you wanna find out more about the work of Care
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  Impact and our podcast. Until next time, keep
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  loving, keep laughing. And if you're still showing up with no
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  applause and no payoff, you're probably doing it
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  exactly right. And always remember to stay
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  curious.