Latest / The Steve Harvey Morning Show / OWN’s 'Family or Fiancé' host Tracy McMillan didn't let age limit her accomplishments

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OWN’s 'Family or Fiancé' host Tracy McMillan didn't let age limit her accomplishments · The Steve Harvey Morning Show

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Speaker 1: experience firsthand by marketing and Brandon expert Rashan McDonald I
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Speaker 1: this every week on my show. It's time to stop
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Speaker 1: reading other people's success stories and start writing your own.
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Speaker 1: whether you're consumer or every day for the hour week
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Speaker 1: guy who works her job, a young lady, a business owner,
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Speaker 1: because I give you access to celebrities, ceo, entrepreneurs and
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Speaker 1: what I like to call industry decision makers. My next
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Speaker 1: guest is Tracy McMillan. She's a relationship expert, television writer
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Speaker 1: or do an author whose credits include Madmen, one of
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Speaker 1: my favorite shows, Good Girls, Revoked, Marvel's Runaways, I love
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Speaker 1: anything that's Marvel related, and United States of Tara, which
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Speaker 1: is outstanding. She's the author of three books, that memoir
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Speaker 1: I Love You and I'm Leaving You Anyway, or novel
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Speaker 1: multiple Listings, and the relationship book While You're Not Married
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Speaker 1: Dot Dot Dot. Yet she's on the show because she's
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Speaker 1: the host of owns popular Family or Fiance, Family of
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Speaker 1: Fiance right there. You know there's a choice where the
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Speaker 1: couples have to make a decision, family or fiance. Please
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Speaker 1: work with the money making conversations. Tracy macmillan, Hello, Tracy.
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Speaker 1: You're fantastic looking individual, your ma. You command the screen,
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Speaker 1: and you are a writer. I am first and foremost.
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Speaker 1: Talk about that, talk about being that, that producer, that
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Speaker 1: creative sort, because when you write, you tend to be
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Speaker 1: about yourself a lot unless you're in the writer for you.
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Speaker 1: That's true. So I started out in journalism. I worked
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Speaker 1: in broadcast journalism for sixteen years. I and you know
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Speaker 1: the thing about being a writer and starting in journalism
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Speaker 1: in particular broadcast, is that you're not writing because you're
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Speaker 1: feeling inspired. You're writing because there's a deadline and you
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Speaker 1: need to get hit your deadline end of story. And
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Speaker 1: so I feel like that was really great background for
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Speaker 1: me because I'm not waiting it's for something to happen.
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Speaker 1: I'm just doing it um as far as writing is concerned,
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Speaker 1: because you know, procrastination is a really big part of
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Speaker 1: writing potentially, and if you don't make yourself do it,
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Speaker 1: it just doesn't happen. Well. The poem also is that
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Speaker 1: because you hear very much term like writer's block the
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Speaker 1: times about the creative direction. But when I read off
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Speaker 1: your credits, and it's important that you understand why I
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Speaker 1: read them all because they are basically shows where I
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Speaker 1: when I started my writing career Steve Harvey, Me and
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Speaker 1: the Boys, and then went over the Parenthood with Robert
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Speaker 1: Townsend or Seniors Hall sitcom, uh, Sister Sister with the
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Speaker 1: Twins Tia and Tomorrow Maori, and then Jamie Fox Show
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Speaker 1: and The Parkers. All those were urban sitcoms. So I
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Speaker 1: was kind of pigeonhole, you know, if I if I
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Speaker 1: try to write a specscript, they said, uh, to try
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Speaker 1: to get all the jaredstime Field type show or home
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Speaker 1: improvement type show. I had to write those type of specs.
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Speaker 1: How did you get into the writer's game? And let's
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Speaker 1: talk about the different uh fields opportunities you've been given
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Speaker 1: as a writer, because you go from drama to sci
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Speaker 1: fi to uh really interesting platform of writing. Sometimes I
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Speaker 1: feel very lucky, like I'm the Tom Hanks of television writers,
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Speaker 1: Like I just get to do all these different things.
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Speaker 1: And I don't know how I got lucky that way,
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Speaker 1: but I will tell you how I started. So I
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Speaker 1: had I knew one person in the business. It was
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Speaker 1: a mom friend of mine. We had met on a
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Speaker 1: blind mom playdate. This friend of mine said, oh, I
5:15
Speaker 1: met this mom. I think you'd like her. So we
5:18
Speaker 1: went out and our kids were like two, My kids
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Speaker 1: now twenty four. So we're talking and I'm like, so,
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Speaker 1: what are you about. You know I'm living in Los Angeles.
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Speaker 1: She's like, oh, I'm a television writer. I was like, oh,
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Speaker 1: I've always secretly wanted to do that. How do you
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Speaker 1: do that? And she said, well, basically, you have a
5:37
Speaker 1: protagonist and they have a problem. They get themselves up
5:40
Speaker 1: a tree, they try to solve their problem, They get
5:43
Speaker 1: themselves further up the tree. They try to solve the problem.
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Speaker 1: Again and they fall out of the tree and then
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Speaker 1: that's basically the end of the episode. There's a little
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Speaker 1: epilogue after that. That's it. And I went, okay, that's good.
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Speaker 1: So I went off and I wrote two spec scripts
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Speaker 1: with not even knowing what I was doing. This isn't
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Speaker 1: like the year two thousand. I wrote a Dharmind Greg
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Speaker 1: and a M. Drew Carey and popula. But and so
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Speaker 1: I showed them to her and she said, Wow, everyone
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Speaker 1: thinks they can do my job, but you actually could
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Speaker 1: now in a perfect story, that would be it. I
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Speaker 1: got a job. I didn't get a job. In fact,
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Speaker 1: I went, okay, that's nice to know. But I'm like
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Speaker 1: very busy being a mom, and I didn't have the
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Speaker 1: self esteem. I had a lot of stuff I had
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Speaker 1: to work on internally before I was going to be
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Speaker 1: able to say yes to that kind of career move
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Speaker 1: or that life. Um. So I got busy with all
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Speaker 1: that work, not even knowing that's what I was doing.
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Speaker 1: And the opportunity came around again in two thousand five.
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Speaker 1: So five years later, I I was going through a
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Speaker 1: big my ending of my third marriage. I was in
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Speaker 1: a real soul searching moment and I decided to write something,
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Speaker 1: a drama of a movie to my way through the process,
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Speaker 1: and when I was done with it, I sent it
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Speaker 1: to this woman. We weren't close because her career had
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Speaker 1: taken off and um, but she was like, I know
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Speaker 1: you can write, so I'll send it to my agent
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Speaker 1: and he likes it, I'll call you and if he doesn't,
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Speaker 1: he won't. And eight months later he called me and
7:17
Speaker 1: that was the beginning. And it took another year after
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Speaker 1: that to get my first job. But once I started,
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Speaker 1: and at that time, I was forty two, so I
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Speaker 1: was like the wrong age, the wrong color, went to
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Speaker 1: the wrong school, the wrong everything. But it did not matter.
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Speaker 1: There was still room for me. Well, you know, it's
7:34
Speaker 1: really interesting that big lesson. I always tell people like, um,
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Speaker 1: I found myself my voice in my forties. You know,
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Speaker 1: despite success, I had a success that people considered was incredible.
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Speaker 1: I really didn't. Um, I guess you have the confidence,
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Speaker 1: a clipse of direction that I could do that. So
7:54
Speaker 1: the reason I bring that up because a lot of
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Speaker 1: people limit theirselves when he hit a certain age. You know,
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Speaker 1: they don't do it in twenties or the thirties. Day
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Speaker 1: all time is up. I can't do it and what
8:04
Speaker 1: you and I are saying and our forties, we found
8:06
Speaker 1: our voice, and we found our voice. Basically, our careers
8:09
Speaker 1: took off, and it took off because we finally believed
8:12
Speaker 1: in each other. You know, I was still I was
8:14
Speaker 1: managing Steve Harvey at the time, and and we was
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Speaker 1: in l A and I was making some decisions, positive decisions.
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Speaker 1: But again I was had written all these sitcoms. You know,
8:23
Speaker 1: we've done all these concerts, sold them my nationwide. But
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Speaker 1: in the end, I had thrown myself into a world
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Speaker 1: that I was successful. I didn't understand. And so with that,
8:33
Speaker 1: insecurities are there even though your chieve success. So you
8:37
Speaker 1: overcame your security insecurities. And so you walk into a
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Speaker 1: writer's room first time only talk about the experience. Well,
8:44
Speaker 1: my first writer's room. Everybody went around the table and
8:47
Speaker 1: they were introducing themselves and each they had a lot
8:50
Speaker 1: of them had come from the West Wing because the
8:52
Speaker 1: show runner had run the West Wing. They are incredibly smart.
8:58
Speaker 1: Hery established very successful TV writers and you know it's
9:03
Speaker 1: very common for those people to have gone to Ivy
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Speaker 1: League schools, specifically Harvard, and so they each go around
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Speaker 1: and there's twelve writers on the show, and literally the
9:14
Speaker 1: first nine writers, I'll say, you know, I went to
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Speaker 1: Harvard or whatever, and my dad's a doctor, and I
9:22
Speaker 1: was like, this was when I first realized that television
9:26
Speaker 1: writers disproportionately have dads who are doctors. So anyway you
9:30
Speaker 1: get to me and I'm like, well, I went to
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Speaker 1: the University of Utah and my dad's in federal prison.
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Speaker 1: It was like, okay, but there was a way in
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Speaker 1: which that I was owning it and that it was
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Speaker 1: just like I was like, all right, And from really
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Speaker 1: even before that, I had learned that the things that
9:52
Speaker 1: I thought were the most um not necessarily shameful, but
9:57
Speaker 1: the things that I thought I would be least understood for,
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Speaker 1: which is my hostory as a foster child, my dad
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Speaker 1: in prison, you know, all these things, my mom a prostitute,
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Speaker 1: like all these things turned out to be the things
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Speaker 1: that Hollywood loved me for. They not get enough of
10:13
Speaker 1: my story with my three husbands and everything that had
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Speaker 1: gone on. So it's the other big lesson was just
10:21
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Speaker 1: And we're live here outside the Perez family home, just
11:56
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Speaker 1: Daughter is bringing up the rear. Oh but the diaper
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Speaker 1: That's a shame that mug was a fan favorite. Don't
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Speaker 1: A dot gov slash the right Seat visits h s
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Speaker 1: A dot gov slash the Right Seat brought to you
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Speaker 1: by Mitza and the ad Council. Well, you know, I
12:53
Speaker 1: really first of all, your honesty is what also is
12:56
Speaker 1: your blessing? Okay, because a lot of people high from
12:59
Speaker 1: their background, high from because they feel that maybe damaging
13:02
Speaker 1: to the opportunity. And like I said, you know, if
13:05
Speaker 1: you working for IBM, if you're working for Google's problem
13:08
Speaker 1: isn't matter anymore now because everybody's like to be yourself
13:11
Speaker 1: where what you want to wear. That type attitude nowadays,
13:14
Speaker 1: but back then, when you're talking about trying to break
13:16
Speaker 1: into an industry, that's true. I've been in these writer's
13:19
Speaker 1: room and you were in for a drama. That's to me.
13:22
Speaker 1: Sitcom has always had a lot of writers dramas. And
13:25
Speaker 1: you said he was a room with twelve people. That's
13:26
Speaker 1: a lot of writers. That was the end of the
13:29
Speaker 1: old era. It literally was the very end of the
13:32
Speaker 1: old era two thousand and seven. And then we had
13:34
Speaker 1: the writer's strike and from that point on, the writer's
13:37
Speaker 1: ship was like six people, right, and so was just
13:40
Speaker 1: letting everybody know there was a transition period because in
13:42
Speaker 1: sitcoms you need more writers because of the fact you're
13:45
Speaker 1: pitching jokes and you're pitching a faster moon moving process
13:50
Speaker 1: and so you so you need people not to burn
13:52
Speaker 1: out and not to be pitching the same jokes. But
13:54
Speaker 1: in dramas, it's really tied to the emotion of the writer,
13:58
Speaker 1: and you can shape the moment and the scene and
14:00
Speaker 1: all that. Now I'm gonna sitcom guy, you're a drama person,
14:03
Speaker 1: that's your first writer's job. Then you get then you
14:05
Speaker 1: realize you can do this. That's just what I want
14:07
Speaker 1: to talk about. People. You're talking to Tracy McMillan. She
14:09
Speaker 1: is the host of Family or Fiance, which is on
14:12
Speaker 1: own network. We're going to talk about that in a minute,
14:14
Speaker 1: which an amazing show, but often the mark on my
14:17
Speaker 1: show and say, people say, how did they get there?
14:19
Speaker 1: How did she get that opportunity? How did she overcome
14:21
Speaker 1: the odds? She just told you, you you know, you know,
14:23
Speaker 1: the premise is that she from you. She graduated from Utah,
14:27
Speaker 1: her dad from went to prison, her mom was a prostitute,
14:30
Speaker 1: but she didn't limit that cell limit her opportunities. Foster child,
14:34
Speaker 1: and all those are negatives. How do you start sliding
14:36
Speaker 1: those negatives Tracy into a positive side of the box.
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Speaker 1: I think it's really about understanding and embracing that if
14:45
Speaker 1: this is your story, it's for good, and that everything
14:48
Speaker 1: is happening for you, not to you, you know. I mean,
14:52
Speaker 1: the fact of the matter is, I had some amazing
14:54
Speaker 1: posture homes. Like I always say, um, there's one version
14:58
Speaker 1: of my life where I got born and then my
15:00
Speaker 1: mother gave me up at three months and I was
15:03
Speaker 1: abandoned and victimized, you know. Um, but there's another story
15:07
Speaker 1: where I got born. I took a look around and
15:10
Speaker 1: I said I can do better than this, and I
15:14
Speaker 1: got out of there and I started getting exposed to
15:17
Speaker 1: some different things at the age of three months. So
15:20
Speaker 1: it's all about how you free as I'm concerned, right,
15:24
Speaker 1: I see animation in your future too, because you're just
15:26
Speaker 1: have a really huge bine of animation, and what in
15:30
Speaker 1: my future animation? Animation? Okay, I just say yes to everything.
15:37
Speaker 1: I remember people used to say to me many years ago,
15:39
Speaker 1: and TV News and you're like, you know what you
15:41
Speaker 1: should know, Oprah, you should have your own show. I'm like, yeah,
15:44
Speaker 1: you know, what I probably should like that sounds good.
15:47
Speaker 1: I was not saying no to anything. I was just like,
15:50
Speaker 1: all right, yeah, I'm done with that. Even though I
15:54
Speaker 1: think it's not about looking at the how. You have
15:57
Speaker 1: to take your focus off the how and keep your
15:59
Speaker 1: focus on the what and then raise your own vibration
16:04
Speaker 1: to where you're matching whatever it is that you want.
16:07
Speaker 1: And I know that sounds kind of woo woo. The
16:09
Speaker 1: other thing I'll say is I kind of work harder
16:11
Speaker 1: than other people. Like I get a tremendous amount of
16:15
Speaker 1: work done. I crank out the writing, like there was
16:19
Speaker 1: a period of eight years where I wrote three books.
16:22
Speaker 1: I was on a whole bunch of TV shows, like
16:24
Speaker 1: it was I mean as a writer. And then I
16:27
Speaker 1: ended up writing this piece that went viral and it
16:33
Speaker 1: was on the Huffington Post. Maybe it was the most
16:35
Speaker 1: read for almost three years. It just turned into this
16:38
Speaker 1: huge thing. And all it was was me sitting down
16:42
Speaker 1: to write my truth as though nobody was watching, and
16:46
Speaker 1: I put it in the Huffington Post and the rest
16:49
Speaker 1: is history. And that's where this on air career came from. Now,
16:53
Speaker 1: the thing is is I've gone to broadcast journalism school,
16:56
Speaker 1: I've worked in TV news for sixteen years. I knew
17:00
Speaker 1: what to do. I had just been saying no to
17:02
Speaker 1: on camera my whole life because I was like, I
17:05
Speaker 1: don't know, I'm a virgo. I like being behind the scenes.
17:08
Speaker 1: I'm kind of a weirdly um internal. I know I
17:13
Speaker 1: look like I'm an extrovert, but actually I'm sort of bookish.
17:16
Speaker 1: I just want to read and be back here and
17:18
Speaker 1: have nobody to pay attention to me. Um So, there
17:21
Speaker 1: was a part of me that didn't want to do it.
17:23
Speaker 1: But you know, the God or the universe what I
17:26
Speaker 1: want to call it, divine intelligence, spirit, whatever the plan is,
17:30
Speaker 1: that that's gonna happen. It doesn't really matter what you say.
17:34
Speaker 1: What grows in the forest trees, Sure you know what
17:38
Speaker 1: else grows in the forest, Our imagination, our sense of wonder,
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Speaker 1: near you and start exploring. I Discover the Forest dot Org.
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Speaker 1: Brought to you by the United States for Service and
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Speaker 1: the AD Council. If I could be you and you
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Speaker 1: could be me, for just one hour. If you could
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Speaker 1: find a way to get inside each other's mind. Walk
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Speaker 1: lasts more than a moment. We can change that. Learn
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Speaker 1: how it belonging begins with us. Dot org brought to
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Speaker 1: you by the ad Council. Walcome mile in machines. Look
18:34
Speaker 1: to your children's eyes to see the true magic of
18:37
Speaker 1: a forest. It's a storybook world for them. You look
18:41
Speaker 1: and see a tree, They see the wrinkled face of
18:44
Speaker 1: a wizard with arms outstretched to the sky. They see
18:47
Speaker 1: treasure and pebbles. They see a windy path that could
18:51
Speaker 1: lead to adventure, and they see you. They're fearless. Guide.
18:55
Speaker 1: Is this fascinating world? Find a forest near you and
18:58
Speaker 1: start exploring at this over the forest. Dot org brought
19:01
Speaker 1: to you by the United States Force Service and the Council. Right,
19:04
Speaker 1: we know some you know, someituation when I when I
19:06
Speaker 1: looked at you, you know, my one of my gifts
19:09
Speaker 1: is just a perception, and I just recognized people were
19:11
Speaker 1: not and I really could I can basically said I
19:14
Speaker 1: don't need to talk to you because I just know
19:15
Speaker 1: who you are. You know, based on my when I
19:18
Speaker 1: look at you when I watched the shows, you have
19:21
Speaker 1: a zen about you, and it's a it's a zin
19:24
Speaker 1: that you know, it's like a sixties types z in,
19:27
Speaker 1: which is a laid back but very confident, but very
19:31
Speaker 1: relaxed personality, which means that did I have any defenses,
19:35
Speaker 1: you immediately relax them so that when and that was
19:39
Speaker 1: important to me to see that. Because you're in a
19:42
Speaker 1: relationship expert. How did you become a relationship scepert? We
19:45
Speaker 1: talk about your life, We talked about the writers, you
19:47
Speaker 1: talked about that story didn't helping them post, but a
19:50
Speaker 1: relationship expert? How did that happen? Well, it happened because
19:53
Speaker 1: I made so many mistakes in my relationships. And then
19:57
Speaker 1: I'm the kind of person who is going to take
19:59
Speaker 1: a mistake and go, Okay, what did I do around here?
20:03
Speaker 1: Like what do I need to learn? How am I
20:05
Speaker 1: here to up level? You know? Um, that's just my nature.
20:09
Speaker 1: So as I learned things, naturally, I would just start
20:12
Speaker 1: talking to people about them. I worked in newsrooms, as
20:16
Speaker 1: I said, for many years. Newsrooms are rooms with sixty
20:21
Speaker 1: people all having trouble in their relationships. You know, I'm
20:23
Speaker 1: just kidding, but you would naturally be the conversations where
20:28
Speaker 1: I'm talking to the reporters or the other writers about
20:32
Speaker 1: their love relationships when I'm supposed to be doing my
20:34
Speaker 1: real job and they would be helped. They'd be like,
20:37
Speaker 1: while you're really helping me. And a lot of it
20:39
Speaker 1: was all the things that I was learning because I say,
20:42
Speaker 1: I'm the jail house lawyer of relationship experts. I had
20:46
Speaker 1: to do so much work on my own keys. Now
20:49
Speaker 1: I can help you with yours. And the other thing
20:52
Speaker 1: about me is I'm not the person who got married
20:54
Speaker 1: once and has been married thirty years. I'm still working
20:57
Speaker 1: it out, and I think people can feel non judgment
21:01
Speaker 1: and they relate to somebody who's still working on it
21:04
Speaker 1: even though they've made a lot of mistakes as I have,
21:08
Speaker 1: and I don't carry shame around it. I cary forgiveness
21:11
Speaker 1: for myself, compassion for other people. I really think it's
21:15
Speaker 1: just like relationships are a spiritual path and that if
21:19
Speaker 1: you allow them to, they will grow you, unlike any
21:22
Speaker 1: other aspect of your life. So that just became where
21:27
Speaker 1: I was releasing. My gifts were that I could understand
21:31
Speaker 1: what's going on with people's relationships? And then I had
21:34
Speaker 1: all this sort of I'm a big reader, and um,
21:39
Speaker 1: you know, I teach myself a lot. I basically sort
21:42
Speaker 1: of a self taught marriage and family therapist. Now I
21:46
Speaker 1: always am in therapy and like my current therapist. And
21:48
Speaker 1: sometimes they'll be like, wow, that's really good. Can I
21:51
Speaker 1: use that? You have whatever you want? You know, I
21:59
Speaker 1: managed Steve are. We we released the book Act like
22:01
Speaker 1: a Lady, Think like a man. It's sold three million copies.
22:03
Speaker 1: And again you know, people threw whom in that box
22:07
Speaker 1: of relationship expert? Yeah he did, and then he immediately
22:10
Speaker 1: here is where hell he can't keep on marriage going? Okay,
22:14
Speaker 1: how can you tell me what's going on in my life?
22:17
Speaker 1: And then of course your situation. You know, you've had
22:20
Speaker 1: three divorces in your life, so that's a negative, but
22:22
Speaker 1: also it's that's a positive too, correct. I mean I
22:26
Speaker 1: always say, you learn more from failure than you do
22:29
Speaker 1: from success, if you're there for the lesson. Now, the
22:32
Speaker 1: other thing is is that I've learned. So I got
22:35
Speaker 1: married at nineteen, I got married at thirty two, and
22:38
Speaker 1: I got married at For you, I have not been
22:40
Speaker 1: married in sixteen years. I learned my lesson right, I
22:44
Speaker 1: stopped getting married, I stopped moving in with people. Now
22:48
Speaker 1: for the that is just shifting now. So I've been
22:53
Speaker 1: very um rigorous with myself about what I need to
22:58
Speaker 1: learn and not repeat eating the same mistake. Now we
23:01
Speaker 1: should shifting now we should we when you said shifting now,
23:04
Speaker 1: what did you mean when you said shifting? Now? I
23:06
Speaker 1: am in a relationship together, and that's it's okay. So
23:14
Speaker 1: what we gotta do is in the fall, I'm I'm
23:17
Speaker 1: a reach back. We're gonna be my shows here every
23:21
Speaker 1: six I think you know, you got to be my
23:23
Speaker 1: six month interview. Six months, will check in and find
23:27
Speaker 1: out the relations You're gonna help me out and help
23:29
Speaker 1: you out because I've been I've been blessed. I've been
23:31
Speaker 1: married thirty three years, and you know, in that whole process,
23:34
Speaker 1: there hasn't been rosy along the way, and they're being
23:37
Speaker 1: near catastrophes along the way. But you know, being that
23:40
Speaker 1: that that is my hook, my claim to fame in
23:43
Speaker 1: the relationship. I've been able to hold it together. Now,
23:45
Speaker 1: your claim to fame right now is on own. It's
23:48
Speaker 1: a show called Family of Fiance And I laugh a
23:52
Speaker 1: little bit because the fact that, uh, you know, you know,
23:56
Speaker 1: family does play a role. And let's let me give
23:58
Speaker 1: everybody to the premise of Family or Fiance It's own
24:01
Speaker 1: own Network, hosted by Tracy McMillan. One engaged couple, to
24:05
Speaker 1: families who object, One engaged couple, two families who object,
24:10
Speaker 1: three days under one roof and a wedding on the line.
24:15
Speaker 1: Will they earn their families blessing? I'll be forced to
24:18
Speaker 1: choose Family or Fiance. How did you get involved with
24:23
Speaker 1: this project? Well, I got a call, so I did
24:26
Speaker 1: Oprah Super Soul Sunday and that was a great experience.
24:31
Speaker 1: And then, uh, probably three years maybe more later, I
24:35
Speaker 1: got a call that own wanted to do this show
24:39
Speaker 1: called Family or Fiance and I was like, okay, and
24:42
Speaker 1: would I come in and meet? And so I came
24:46
Speaker 1: in and I met, and really from that first day,
24:50
Speaker 1: I really just felt like, Wow, they're the specific things
24:54
Speaker 1: that I know about, and I'm here to do I
24:58
Speaker 1: can do those things. Is here and really our show
25:02
Speaker 1: is about healing families. It's about setting up couples for
25:07
Speaker 1: really the deep work of bridge and um, you know,
25:14
Speaker 1: people learn. It's it's an incredible show. Every episode gets
25:19
Speaker 1: me chills at least fun because these couples are so
25:23
Speaker 1: courageous and these families are so courageous and courageous you
25:28
Speaker 1: see people who don't want to do the work. Courageous
25:31
Speaker 1: or outrageous. We can put the word outrageous in there too,
25:34
Speaker 1: because some of the things some outrageousness because coming in
25:38
Speaker 1: with a set mind, you know, set this, or set attitude,
25:42
Speaker 1: that's where I come about. And but here's the thing
25:45
Speaker 1: I like about the show and just what I love
25:46
Speaker 1: about you, and I'm so happy I'm interviewing you. It's
25:49
Speaker 1: your personality. Like I said, it's so disarming, and I
25:54
Speaker 1: think it's important for this type of show because it's
25:57
Speaker 1: not a combative show. I'm just let you, I'm just
26:00
Speaker 1: tell you, guys, when you watch this show. Um, she
26:03
Speaker 1: almost I want to use the word disappears, but she
26:05
Speaker 1: kind of like goes into the fabric of the show.
26:08
Speaker 1: She said, to everything and every and so we allow
26:10
Speaker 1: ourselves to see the problem. We allow ourselves to see
26:14
Speaker 1: the couple's work through the problems, and we allow ourselves
26:17
Speaker 1: to find out maybe they are the problem. And that's
26:20
Speaker 1: part of what this show was about because We're not
26:23
Speaker 1: trying to point a finger. That's why that was my
26:25
Speaker 1: greatest take aware of your show, Tracy, you know, which
26:28
Speaker 1: is a which is a family of fiance, which is
26:30
Speaker 1: don't own network, is that you're not here to be Uh,
26:34
Speaker 1: you're wrong, you're right, But the resolve issues that make
26:37
Speaker 1: this couple lasts a long time. And that's the purpose
26:40
Speaker 1: of getting married. You don't get married to get a
26:41
Speaker 1: di vorce. You get married to to you know, to
26:44
Speaker 1: death do its part. That is the premise of marriage.
26:46
Speaker 1: To talk about, am I missing the points of of
26:50
Speaker 1: what you're trying to do in the show. And I
26:52
Speaker 1: think that's part of my approach to relationship coaching is
26:57
Speaker 1: that I already know from being a girlfriend, you know,
27:01
Speaker 1: being just the ff with people. Nobody can tell anybody
27:05
Speaker 1: anything what I'm saying. No one ever changed their behavior
27:09
Speaker 1: in a relationship because their friends said, girl, you're going
27:13
Speaker 1: down the wrong path. That's not how it works. How
27:15
Speaker 1: it works is you allow people to come to their
27:18
Speaker 1: own conclusion. You give them the dignity of their own process,
27:22
Speaker 1: and you just hold up the mirror and you hold
27:26
Speaker 1: a space. It's almost like parenting. You hold a space
27:30
Speaker 1: for this person who has decided to come on the show.
27:33
Speaker 1: So you know, the willingness is there at some level,
27:37
Speaker 1: and you got what is inside of them, Pull them
27:40
Speaker 1: across the finish line, pull them into the change. Not
27:44
Speaker 1: me being sassy. You know what I'm saying that I'm
27:48
Speaker 1: just a facilitator. The real healing is the couples and
27:52
Speaker 1: the families themselves. We know the interesting fun point because
27:55
Speaker 1: I have to use the word fun, it's entertainment, a
27:58
Speaker 1: social ye know that we get to see is that
28:02
Speaker 1: just to see the journey of black reality shows? Yes,
28:06
Speaker 1: you know, and you know what I'm saying, child, it
28:08
Speaker 1: was one time, you know, you threw a glass, you
28:10
Speaker 1: cutt somebody out, you punch them in the face, and
28:12
Speaker 1: that's a black reality show. They talk, you know, Jerry
28:15
Speaker 1: Springer Springer on Black Sterars. That's where our reality shows work.
28:19
Speaker 1: And so you you being invited into this environment, did
28:23
Speaker 1: you have any uh any uh questions about what type
28:27
Speaker 1: of what type of premise we're doing with this? Because
28:30
Speaker 1: you're not gonna get involved. I mean I could tell
28:32
Speaker 1: from the first meeting with the producers, and you know
28:35
Speaker 1: just what owned the network is about, what Obrah Winfrey
28:39
Speaker 1: is about it's like we were here for what is
28:43
Speaker 1: highest in people. I'm here for what highest and me
28:47
Speaker 1: I want the couples to be here for what's the
28:49
Speaker 1: highest in themselves and each other and the families. So
28:52
Speaker 1: that's the space I'm holding. Um, that doesn't mean people
28:56
Speaker 1: aren't gonna act outrageous at times say well that's how
29:00
Speaker 1: blore because people are you know, humans, they do that.
29:04
Speaker 1: But um, we're not sitting here. That's not the level
29:09
Speaker 1: that we're um resting in. That's just a place people
29:13
Speaker 1: sometimes go. And but I'd say that our show it
29:19
Speaker 1: people grow, people heal, and it's real. The look in
29:23
Speaker 1: their eyes when we take the family photo at the
29:26
Speaker 1: very end we do the blessing ceremony, that we go outside,
29:29
Speaker 1: immediately take the family photo, and the look that they
29:33
Speaker 1: give me is always, even if the relationship fell apart,
29:38
Speaker 1: even if things didn't get fully resolved, the look in
29:42
Speaker 1: their eyes, whether it's family or the couples, is thank you.
29:46
Speaker 1: And I always want to say, it's not me, I'm
29:49
Speaker 1: just the channel. I'm just here. You did the black
29:53
Speaker 1: my background, the stand up coming. I started out of
29:55
Speaker 1: stand up comedy, and when I look at you, I'm
29:59
Speaker 1: almost wantly, you know, because she's Tracy mc She has
30:01
Speaker 1: a very popular Ted act she did called with the
30:04
Speaker 1: Person You Really Need to Marry Wildly When Wildly viral
30:08
Speaker 1: and you can find it a live Tracy McMillan tedexs
30:10
Speaker 1: talk the Person you Really need to Marry and when,
30:13
Speaker 1: And watching that, I felt like I was watching a monologue.
30:17
Speaker 1: I felt like I was watching without the jokes. Now
30:20
Speaker 1: you know you know this, but it felt like I
30:23
Speaker 1: was being entertained and carried on a journey. That's what
30:25
Speaker 1: great comedians do, whether you Dave CHAPPELLEO, Steve Harvey or
30:28
Speaker 1: Chris Rock, they tell a story to take you on
30:31
Speaker 1: a journey. And even talking to you now, I feel
30:34
Speaker 1: myself being caught up into the mystique, the aura of
30:39
Speaker 1: Tracy McMillan. What is that Tracy before we wrapp or
30:41
Speaker 1: what is that about you? You? You know it's real,
30:44
Speaker 1: you know it's real. Come on, I don't know. You
30:46
Speaker 1: know what my dad would say, it's the McMillan chime
30:50
Speaker 1: to say that. He's like, it's that McMillan chime. Not
30:53
Speaker 1: necessarily about me. He's probably talking about himself. But you
30:56
Speaker 1: do have you do have an it you do have
30:59
Speaker 1: an IT factor? Correct, I don't know. You know, one time,
31:04
Speaker 1: thirty years ago, I was in New York and I
31:06
Speaker 1: was I was living in New York and I was
31:08
Speaker 1: looking for an apartment and it was a roommate situation.
31:12
Speaker 1: And this girl, I'll never forget it, she said to me,
31:14
Speaker 1: after like ten minutes of visiting, she goes, You're a star.
31:19
Speaker 1: And I remember thinking, what is she talking about, you know,
31:23
Speaker 1: because that is not how I saw myself. But it's
31:27
Speaker 1: interesting that I remember that. And so I'm willing to
31:30
Speaker 1: be a star if it's here. I'm here to use
31:33
Speaker 1: whatever for the good. And if that's you know, I
31:37
Speaker 1: feel like I know my purpose. And sometimes I say,
31:40
Speaker 1: you know what, I wasn't gonna be on TV, but
31:43
Speaker 1: God gave me TV hair And so you just have
31:45
Speaker 1: to surrender that you have and be like, all right,
31:49
Speaker 1: I'm here TVC and you got a lot going on there.
31:52
Speaker 1: Tracy McMillan, I want to say this about you. Thank
31:55
Speaker 1: you for coming on the show. You you know, you
31:58
Speaker 1: do have the r do you do have the if factor?
32:01
Speaker 1: And more important to the host of a hit shown
32:03
Speaker 1: own called Family or Fiance, You're wonderful. Remember every six months.
32:07
Speaker 1: We're gonna do our check in trades every six months
32:10
Speaker 1: because you're wonderful, continue to write on those dramas and
32:13
Speaker 1: changing the game and actually changing the game of television.
32:15
Speaker 1: You are a This is a positive word. You are
32:18
Speaker 1: a beast. And the key to your success is you
32:20
Speaker 1: said it. I work hard, and you all work people,
32:23
Speaker 1: and everybody that I've known who's a very top of
32:26
Speaker 1: the game star, that's the same thing they said over
32:28
Speaker 1: and over. You're not gonna out work. When you can
32:31
Speaker 1: talk to Kevin Hard You're not gonna out of work,
32:32
Speaker 1: Steven A. Smith. You're not gonna out to work, Stephen,
32:35
Speaker 1: Steve Harvey, You're not gonna work into these guys, Washington,
32:38
Speaker 1: Samuel Jackson. So hard work is always applied to longevity
32:43
Speaker 1: and you have it. And congratulations. Okay, thank you appreciate.
32:49
Speaker 1: If you will see you here. Any interviews I do
32:51
Speaker 1: on Money Making Conversation, please go to Money Making Conversation
32:54
Speaker 1: dot com. I'm wis Sean McDonald. I am your host.
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