Latest / No Latency / S2E46 - Reunite in the Machine

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S2E46 - Reunite in the Machine · No Latency

0:02
Last time on no latency. Great.
0:05
Well, Speaking of, we should probably go to the well.
0:07
Oh the well. Yes.
0:09
Oh God, it's mine. I've been shot before.
0:11
Do you feel better? Well, I'm going to go ahead and
0:13
use my Spreadshot. Oh my God, baby, no.
0:16
Wait a minute, I got an idea. I'm going to think about wearing
0:18
a jet pack. Jeb, if you fall to the bottom
0:20
of this well and die. But I have a jet pack.
0:23
Jeb, if you die in the game, you die in your life.
0:25
Think about fueling it to the tippity top.
0:28
This is the worst. I got it.
0:31
We're coming as fast as we can. What was that?
0:34
Oh God, we're locked in. What, Jeb?
0:38
What? I mean, I guess we better just
0:39
put them all down then, huh? Smash it and crush it with the
0:43
box. I'll see the other one.
0:45
All right, well, we solved 2 puzzles, we got 2 keys.
0:47
It's time to find Bendel. Hey, where's Vandu?
1:03
Oh, sorry, one moment. Hello.
1:09
I just stay quiet. Come hang in here.
1:15
I'm. I was afraid of that.
1:17
I know. But we are on our way right now.
1:21
I think we have everything to get into the room where you are.
1:25
Don't. Don't say anything else.
1:29
Do not speak. Keep the light off.
1:34
We will be there very soon. I'm going to try and hide.
1:40
You should have been hiding this whole time more.
1:42
Hiding. I'm going to try and hide more.
1:44
OK, roll for it. Gosh, I have fresh peas sheet
1:48
pulled up a stealth. That's fine. 21.
1:56
There is no other places to hide.
1:59
I I believe in you. I know you can do it.
2:02
Just just all the. 24 I would have been fully.
2:07
Hidden I don't have much time. Vendel.
2:10
Fuck. All right, we have to go now.
2:12
What was that? It was Vendel.
2:15
Who else would it be? Is everything all right?
2:17
No, nothing's all right right now.
2:20
Have you not been paying attention?
2:22
Well, listen, I just thought maybe we were due for some good
2:25
luck, because everything's been kind of going as shit the last
2:28
day, and I thought maybe we were owed by the universe a little.
2:33
Good luck and super clean. Maybe when we get to the end of
2:35
this arc, but not at this moment.
2:39
Yeah, Jace. All right.
2:41
Where we going? What are we doing?
2:43
Well, we have to go back to the door.
2:45
Yeah, the door. The about to skin's all dry.
2:51
I squeeze my eyes really hard and I think of some lotion.
2:54
Roll For It 23 Yes Lotion Cocoa Butter Fresh real cocoa butter
3:05
lotion appears in your head. In the real world, this would be
3:08
worth like 700 eddies. This is the good stuff.
3:13
I'm just going to slide over myself with that cocoa butter.
3:16
700 Eddies. Smells good.
3:18
So you slather yourself with this lotion and you feel you
3:22
feel so invigorated. But also you now slide.
3:28
Yeah, oh. You're slippery, man.
3:31
You look. You've never looked better all
3:33
oiled up like that. Yeah, I'm.
3:36
I'm just listening right now, HR.
3:38
About that comment. Do we have an HR department?
3:41
No. No.
3:42
I work for Biotechnica. If it made you uncomfortable,
3:47
feel free to report it. They don't work for us.
3:50
Oh, is this like freelance stuff?
3:52
This, yes, is freelance. Well, I think we contract, yeah,
3:57
all. Right then.
3:57
Shit Poo farts. Inappropriate.
4:01
What joke? You still want me fresh pee?
4:04
Oh shit. Sorry.
4:05
I mean, pardon me. Oh, sorry.
4:08
That's all right. I give him a little, A little.
4:12
Knock on the shoulder, mother fucker.
4:15
You're. Really strong.
4:20
Getting real friendly. There said that, like, you know,
4:22
canonically you're actually fairly buff, but holy fuck.
4:25
Yeah, I know. But.
4:26
But if you all could follow me so we could go get Vendel.
4:31
Yes, I'm. Right by.
4:33
Keep on going. Yeah.
4:34
I don't know what's stopping us. We are heading back to the door,
4:38
GM. As you walk down the corridor,
4:40
it seems endless. And as you get down to the very
4:43
end, the fog in front of you clears, and suddenly you're in
4:48
the crossway. And as you step in, everyone
4:52
roll perception. Oh yeah, everyone rolled 15 or
4:56
higher. Excellent.
4:59
And do you all see that there are three Watchmen in here?
5:02
They have not seen you yet because you all rolled so well.
5:07
What do Watchmen like? Screaming.
5:15
Do they lack souls or something? Or like we put in a whole bunch
5:19
of like, computer baths or something?
5:21
Will they go after that? Do they?
5:23
Do they need sustenance? I don't.
5:26
I don't. Clear if we What if they climbed
5:31
on the walls or something like spiders.
5:33
Oh, we could spider climb. OK, yeah, you got to really
5:39
think hard about spider climb. I look at my gloves and what do
5:48
you call microbots? What do you call them?
5:51
Nano bots. Nano bots.
5:54
Thank you Nano machines. I'm going to picture the gloves
6:00
turning into nano machines covering my hands and them
6:05
spreading out across my body to create in the whole nano suite.
6:10
And cool, stick my hands to the wall so I'm covered in a pink
6:13
nano suit because it's OK. Extended from I will, but I'm
6:17
just telling you what it looks like. 17 Yeah, your body gets
6:24
covered in this sort of pink suit and it creates a little
6:28
circle for your face. You look like like that
6:32
SpongeBob episode. Do you know what I'm talking
6:35
about? When they like a dress in the
6:36
little pink thing? No.
6:39
You you look like someone just weren't very creative with their
6:42
Halloween. Just the pink.
6:43
Oh, the pink morph suit guy. Yes, you're a pink.
6:48
All right. I try.
6:49
I try to climb the wall. Yeah.
6:50
I I think it worked. That's exactly what I look like.
6:56
Yeah. Should I should I try go for it
7:01
tack? With my mind go.
7:03
Oh, you have to roll. That do I.
7:05
Oh, that's OK. I can.
7:06
I have him pulled up, OK? Hack with your mind.
7:09
Go hack. With your mind.
7:13
Hold on, hold on. There you go.
7:17
Hack. Hack with your mind.
7:18
Hack with your mind. 6/16. There we go.
7:22
Oh cool. I have spiders on my hands.
7:29
I mean, that's OK. They are Spider's man.
7:32
Looks like a It's like a bad trip.
7:34
I'm. Fresh spider, yeah.
7:37
He jumps. Onto the wall.
7:38
Whoa. Shouldn't be loud, should.
7:39
I sorry, I mean fresh. Spider.
7:42
Yeah. Did they hear that?
7:43
Oh, we're kind of having a whole fucking conversation over here.
7:46
Quite. Hurry up.
7:48
She's not. Going to give you much more
7:52
time. Oh, I I'm just a cowboy hat.
7:53
Did. You turn into just a cowboy hat.
7:56
Did I put you on my head? Maybe let's find out acting.
8:04
I'm not good at acting. 12 Instead of turning into a cowboy
8:10
hat, all of your skin turns into moleskin.
8:14
Oh, well, you know what? I don't think you can wire me
8:22
out. Do you want some of this cocoa
8:25
butter? Well, you know, you do have to
8:27
make sure that you're that you're leather and moleskin.
8:30
It doesn't crack and you do that.
8:32
You do have to, I want them to say, moisten it, but that's not
8:36
the word. Moisturize, Moisturize.
8:39
That's it. That's the one.
8:40
I I I do want to point out the urgency of the situation.
8:44
Yeah, I. Dazzle up here.
8:46
What are you? Doing.
8:48
I am going to think of gravity shoes things so I can climb on
8:56
the walls also with cool. Like gravity boots or something?
9:02
If you think about it, we all have gravity shoes on.
9:05
What does that mean, Jeb? Well, the shoes they.
9:09
You know what I mean? VB All you were concentrating on
9:12
were just these gravity defined boots, and since there were only
9:16
one piece of clothing, it wasn't as hard as covering your whole
9:19
body in nanobots or turning yourself into a hat.
9:22
No boots appear on your feet. And you're able to climb the
9:26
walls. And the only person who hasn't
9:27
done any kind of transformation is Retro and he's running out of
9:30
time. Well, Retro is going to take a
9:31
page out of fresh peas book that they did because he's reminded
9:37
of an old comic book you read a long time ago.
9:40
The incredible person with spider powers that we can't say.
9:46
And they're going to imagine themselves as one of the
9:48
villains of man Spider, and turn into a spider man, or a man of a
9:54
man that is a spider in a clown costume still.
9:56
The incredible arachnid boy. It's one of the few times I got
10:00
to be able to, like, transform into a giant spider, so why not?
10:03
A giant spider dressed as a clown.
10:06
It's Pagliashi clown. Sad.
10:08
Clown. That's Stephen King's it.
10:11
Roll for it? Yes, I'm looking for it. 15.
10:16
I mean 15, yes, 15 you. Only change either your top or
10:23
bottom bottom. So I'm a Centaur spider person.
10:27
You only managed to change yourself into a spider from the
10:29
waist down. So instead of having eight legs,
10:31
you're a four. I'm a I'm a strider.
10:32
That's what I am now. That I was about to say that.
10:38
And as you've all managed to climb onto the walls is it's
10:41
around about this moment that more Watchmen start to appear in
10:45
the hallway. As if from thin air.
10:48
Wait a minute. I think I got another idea.
10:50
Do you think there's time? I.
10:51
Very much think we're running out of time.
10:52
Shouldn't we just, like, try and get to where Bendel is?
10:55
Yeah, let's just keep moving. Wait.
10:57
I've got an idea. I've got an idea.
10:59
Think about a really a really sexy watchman to distract him.
11:06
Roll for it. Yeah, I'm trying to think of.
11:08
I'm trying to find a good stat here.
11:10
It's. Going to be like.
11:15
Animal handling, Sure. They're like animals, you know?
11:20
Or is this supposed to be like the gremlins?
11:22
The new bass? Oh.
11:23
Yeah, Chris. Damn.
11:25
A watchman appears in a red dress.
11:28
Yes, I mean. And it walks past a bunch of the
11:33
Watchmen that have just appeared and they all start paying
11:36
attention to it. And they go, oh God.
11:44
OK, go go, go, go, go. Alright, we're going to run
11:47
across. Jeff, get on my back.
11:49
Yeah, you. Go to the door?
11:51
No. No, it's over here where the
11:52
keys go now. Go on here, maybe?
11:55
You're on the ceiling. Come back?
12:00
So you're you're now standing in front of the door.
12:02
The Watchmen in this space have been distracted because they're
12:04
following a watchman wearing a red dress.
12:07
There are two buttons in here and a big locked door.
12:12
OK, quickly. Can we move the crates to block?
12:18
Another one. What does that?
12:19
Mean Stick it in. You hear a scream on the other
12:22
side of the door. Fuck.
12:25
Go scream. Go, go.
12:27
Put the key in, put the key in. There you go.
12:31
Out of the frying pan, into the fire.
12:33
I pull out my mind. The red and the blue key are
12:35
placed on top of the button and they flash and the keys stay
12:40
hovering above them and the door unlocks.
12:43
Oh. Shit.
12:46
And as you step into this big room, Vendel is standing
12:50
underneath a giant watchman, and it's starting to turn into
12:56
something far more. Dangerous It's.
12:59
Splitting open and it's just thrown this huge punch at them
13:03
down. They're on the ground trying to
13:06
defend themselves. As they continually try to
13:09
deflect this stuff with their legs, but it's not going well.
13:13
Motherfucker. Look at me and I.
13:16
Look. Hell yeah, 20.
13:19
The bullet misses this giant piece, and then he throws down
13:25
his fists once more. I need Vendel to roll the page.
13:31
No, Wendell. And this fist comes careening
13:38
down and crushes Bendel, disappears into the sea.
13:48
Wait. What the hell?
13:49
Why there's? Another life.
13:50
There's got to be another life. There's another.
13:52
Life. Yes, there's definitely another
13:54
life. And Bendel appears above this
13:59
beast with their sword in hand and just splits the holy shit.
14:06
Go Vendel I. Get the keys.
14:14
I run through, back through the door, and I grab the keys.
14:16
When you run back into the hallway, there are twice the
14:18
Watchmen. As soon as we pull the keys,
14:20
that door better fucking shut doesn't seem.
14:23
To shut as you pull the keys from from the area or pile into
14:26
the room. And if you want to close the
14:29
door, you can't, because it's two big doors.
14:32
Close it, block it, close. It close it.
14:34
We going to block it what we going to?
14:36
What could we manifest? What could we?
14:38
I've. Got it.
14:39
I shoot a giant web right out. Are you OK?
14:42
No, I'm fine. I've died twice, so that's
14:45
weird. Hi, Leona.
14:48
Iona, I know this is kind of a big ask, but can I have a hug?
14:51
Yes. Come here.
14:52
OK, I don't know why you pink. That's a long story.
14:55
You can manifest whatever you want here.
14:57
It's a that's a story. Well, this is a short story of
15:00
life I've. Been stuck in here with this big
15:02
beast. Why didn't you tell me?
15:05
I think you might have. I don't know that I did.
15:07
I'm very sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to
15:09
shout. Do you need medical assistance?
15:12
No, I just realized I should be fine.
15:14
OK. Thanks, Phoebe.
15:16
That's nice. I'm glad you're OK, Bendel.
15:18
I'm glad I'm OK too. Bendel Does it hurt to die?
15:24
Jeb, you can't just ask people. That's.
15:25
A big question, Jeb. Oh.
15:28
I haven't met anyone who's dad before.
15:31
I think you might have, actually, Jeb, you just didn't
15:33
know it. Whoa.
15:36
Halloween. I know it's spooky, OK?
15:39
So let me know. The the pulp we'll get out of
15:41
here is just over there. We just need to put the button
15:43
things in take. The fuck out of here?
15:45
I know, I know. Did the web work?
15:46
Heavy Weapons 23 that is a heavy That's right out my butt.
15:50
That's. Right out of your butt and it
15:53
covers the door in a web. And it's given you a lot more
15:56
time to stay groovy in this room.
16:00
Now Jeb was closing the door and then had to quickly hit the
16:04
deck. In order for the web not to
16:06
entangle. Information.
16:11
It's an 18. I got my guy.
16:12
That is not enough. Oh no, no shit and.
16:16
Now Jeb is stuck at the door, which has given you a little
16:20
extra time, because now there's this big, heavy thing in front
16:23
of the door, and it's Jeb. It's me.
16:24
I'm. I'm also made of leather
16:26
moleskin. All right, let's go.
16:30
I got it. I got it.
16:31
Think about, think about being that.
16:34
Also made of spider, because spiders don't seek their own
16:37
web, right? Yeah, I think that's right that
16:41
we like to call. Definitely fucking animal
16:45
handlers. 20 Yeah, for a brief moment, the all of the moleskin
16:51
turns into 1000 spiders and you disappear into 1000 spiders slip
16:55
away from the web and rematerialize as a moleskin
16:58
cowboy. As a moleskin.
17:00
Cowboy. That's my next singer.
17:05
I'm just a moleskin cowboy. Literally made a moleskin.
17:11
It's a cool song, Jeb. Can we get the?
17:13
Hell out of. Here.
17:13
Sorry, I just, you know, when a when when it hits me, when my
17:16
muse hits me, I I got to sing. It hasn't been really a thing
17:20
before in the entire three years we've been doing this podcast,
17:23
but it is now Jeb sings. Get used to it.
17:26
Happy Halloween. Happy Halloween.
17:28
That's the scariest thing of all.
17:31
Are you coming? We're opening the.
17:33
Sorry, sorry. I'm coming.
17:34
Inspiration, you know, You never know.
17:36
What am I hitting? You got it.
17:37
You got to grasp it like a like a bucking Bronco.
17:41
If I have extra fluid, can I just wipe Jeff's mouth?
17:43
Yes. Because listen when you when you
17:46
really feel that. 22 Jeb you can't talk for 5 minutes so Iona
17:55
in retro you head over to these two glowing platforms with with
17:58
these little buttons on top. One is coloured red and one is
18:01
coloured blue. Exactly, Yeah.
18:05
So I got the red key. I I've got the blue key, but
18:07
there's another circuit coming off that's hiding underneath
18:10
these boxes. Can we move these boxes?
18:13
Yeah, I can help move the boxes. Jeb, please move those boxes
18:16
you. Move requires yellow key.
18:19
Where is there a yellow key? It's vendel.
18:24
Yeah. Why are you glowing?
18:26
What? Oh, oh.
18:28
Fuck. Vendel is glowing.
18:29
And you look at Vendel's chest, and beneath their chest you can
18:33
see the outline of a yellow key. Ah.
18:36
It's in their chest. Are you going to make a saw?
18:40
Oh. Fuck.
18:41
Oh no. Are you going to make a saw
18:43
here? This is not the surgery I've
18:45
ever wanted to perform. Your favorite multiverse hopping
18:58
game system jumping high Production value Actual Play
19:01
Podcast is back. System Switch Season 2 drops in
19:05
your universe on November 16th. Bowler and Hicks have been
19:09
transported into the science fiction world of Scum and
19:12
Villainy. Follow our heroes as they try to
19:15
break out of prison this. Is clearly a cell.
19:18
I've seen a cell before. In any universe, this is a cell.
19:21
Fly through asteroid belts. Break into high security
19:26
government buildings. Hey, give.
19:28
Me a mark there. Excuse me, I'm from the library
19:31
police. And punch fascists.
19:34
That's always very cool. Catch up on season one of System
19:37
Switch now or jump in for your first time when Season 2
19:40
premieres on November 16th. Wherever you get your podcasts,
19:45
the multiverse is a strange place.
19:55
Vendel. Yes, the the muffin I got from
19:59
the vending machine was yellow. Yeah, I think that was the key.
20:04
The lives. No, the lives I got at the end.
20:07
No, the muffin was yet. So it's the key.
20:09
This look, it's a key on my chest.
20:11
OK, Yep. OK, So what?
20:14
What drug do you want? We can make it whatever you
20:17
want. OK, hold on.
20:19
Maybe we don't have to operate. Maybe they can just stand on the
20:22
spot and we'll be good. Why?
20:24
Don't you try that as well? You know NFC, Just put the.
20:27
Chance I move it to the ground. Right.
20:29
Exactly. Yes.
20:33
Let's try it. I got.
20:34
Not to be funny, but I kind of feel like this whole thing was
20:36
to save me, not to leave me to die inside a cyberspace place.
20:40
No. OK, we need good ideas, not for
20:42
people breaking people down. Yeah.
20:45
Oh my God, that tastes disgusting.
20:48
I think I had to eat the whole thing to be able to talk again.
20:52
Listen, Speaking of mouths, why don't you why don't you just
20:56
imagine that you got a mouth in the middle of your chest and
20:59
then we'll just stick our fingers in your chest, mouth and
21:03
take the key out. That's.
21:04
Nasty, that's. Nasty, you just scanned me.
21:09
Yes. I pull out my Med scanner.
21:14
Oh, that's good. Isn't it?
21:15
Yeah. OK.
21:16
So your old A. 20 crib. 20. That's awesome.
21:21
Are you doing the chest pain? In the scanner, as you scan
21:24
Vendel's chest, you actually see where it is, like in ACT Scan,
21:29
and it's sitting in front of their lungs, slightly on top of
21:32
their windpipe, just in the cavity.
21:35
So it's not in their stomach, it's in their chest, which is
21:39
why you can see the outline behind the rib cage.
21:45
Well, that's behind the rib cage though.
21:47
The good. The bad news is it's not in
21:51
their stomach, so they can't pass it.
21:55
Like, this thing's huge. I'm not kidding this thing out.
21:59
The good news is, it's in actually like a pretty like safe
22:02
spot inside of you. Like it's just chilling right
22:07
above your. Lungs.
22:10
So it's not like interfering with your breathing, It's not
22:14
interfering with your windpipe. So it's it's in a safe,
22:17
relatively safe spot inside of your body.
22:20
Yeah, but Phoebe, it's in me. I know.
22:26
There's got to be a way, Yeah, I'm telling you, I really think
22:33
chest mouth might be a good call.
22:37
Maybe we could try to grab it. Maybe we make we think of some
22:41
sort of thing to go through things.
22:47
A ghost hand. Duh, Ghost.
22:49
Hand This is a brain dance, right?
22:51
We should have the ability to just walk through things if we
22:55
think it. I could just.
22:57
Reach my hand through Vendel. Testing that on a body is not
23:01
the best idea, we just don't know this box over here.
23:06
Yes, I'm going to try to think about punching my hand through
23:12
the box, but doing it like I can just go through the box.
23:17
Right 20 you concentrate, put your hand into the box, it
23:23
dematerializes inside the box, and while your hand is in there,
23:26
you kind of wiggle your hand around and you've discovered
23:28
that the crate is empty, and then you put your hand out.
23:30
OK, I think this could work. I think this could work.
23:35
It just worked on the box. I just think about materializing
23:39
my hand inside of Vendel's chest cavity.
23:43
Chest cavity, and I can just grab it and pull it out.
23:46
All right, I'm going to consider.
23:47
Putting some luck in that. Yes, good.
23:50
Good thought. All right.
23:53
Vendel. Stand very still.
23:55
I'm going to try this. I look directly at where you
24:01
know where it is in their body and I'm going to add 4 lock
24:05
points to this role and I'm going to try to think the same
24:09
thing. I just thought, I'm going to try
24:10
to materialize my hand through Vendel into their chest cavity.
24:16
So this is the role without the lock, we'll have to add +4.
24:19
I'm calling it Oh my gosh, no hold.
24:23
On Hold on, hold on. I still have.
24:28
An inspiration that I would like to use right now.
24:32
Bless. Blessings upon you.
24:35
OK, let's go. All right, 14. 14. 14 is high
24:40
enough not to hurt Vendel, that's clear.
24:42
But what does happen? You put your hand into Vendel's
24:45
chest. I got it.
24:47
Awesome. There's a good feeling you got
24:49
it. And then you grab the key and
24:50
you're like, yeah? Pull.
24:52
It. Oh no, I'm stuck.
24:53
It remains physical and you're now stuck in vendor's chest and
24:57
the door bursts open. Shut up you guys.
25:02
There's like stuck a good 26 News guys out there.
25:08
Baby, your hand is in my chest. We've got to buy baby some time.
25:13
Everyone, please. Yes, I I almost got it.
25:16
I'm stuck. I just need a few more, a few
25:19
more minutes, OK? BB, this is weird.
25:22
Seconds maybe? Imagine myself as a giant mech
25:29
with lots of guns and bullets and missiles and such.
25:34
Spider, Mech. Spider.
25:36
Mech spider mech spider. Mech.
25:37
Spider Mech. Hey, you Can't Sing that.
25:39
You know I can't. I can't because it's parity.
25:42
Oh. OK, OK.
25:44
Retro You concentrate and your whole body folds into a metal
25:50
neck with a giant TB face and two horns that spout fire
25:55
because you rolled it. Both of your hands are Gatling
25:59
guns like Barrett and Final Fantasy 7, and there's a rocket
26:03
launcher in the middle of your fucking chest.
26:05
Let's start every 15 year old boys wet but.
26:10
You can still slide around like a Gundam because of the
26:15
moisturizing you took out. Yeah, Bull Barrett.
26:22
Barrage. Roll for it.
26:24
I'm put some luck points into this 2.
26:26
Save 4. Never mind.
26:29
Yeesh, she. Wrote a crip.
26:31
Fail and you fire all these bullets.
26:34
And the Watchmen stop. They stop dead.
26:38
They don't move, but you miss all of them.
26:44
The bullets fly everywhere you you've managed to stop them
26:46
walking into the room. You have not damaged any of
26:49
them. And you're a cool Mac, so you
26:52
get to shoot twice. Awesome.
26:56
But now you've shot the Gatling now, So what you've got left is
26:58
the rocket launcher. Well, I mean that's, I think
27:02
that Arsenal would be. Heavy Weapons 22 The rocket in
27:05
your chest primes turns, you hear a weird clockwork noise and
27:10
it kind of tickles, and then it bursts out of your chest,
27:16
sending you flying back and the missile flying forward,
27:19
destroying 6. Destroying 6 Watchmen as they
27:23
disappear into pixels and explode, covering the other
27:27
Watchmen around them in pixelated blood and gore.
27:37
Wow. Wow that.
27:40
Was really cool, should have known how it felt.
27:42
Baby, get your hand out of vendor's chest.
27:46
Yes, hold on, Vivi. Vivi, I think we got it
27:50
backwards. We need a we need a ghosty
27:53
vandal and a regular fleshy Vivi hand, not.
27:57
A bad idea, I think we need a backwards.
28:00
I like this, OK? I'm still trying to think of
28:02
something that is going to work here.
28:04
Hey dude. I thought, was this torture?
28:10
Drugs. Oh, all right.
28:11
Yeah. OK, All right.
28:16
Just going to, just going to going to think about making you
28:20
dead Van Dale, but like you know in a in a temporary kind of way
28:25
in just your chest area. Wait.
28:32
No chip, Don't chip. Don't chip, Don't chip.
28:34
Don't. Yeah.
28:37
At least we got the key covers. Covers VV and Viscera.
28:41
Jeb, you're covered and permanently stained now in
28:44
cyberspace because you're Moleskin.
28:46
And then Mendel appears next to the yellow butt.
28:51
You fucking. I don't know why I agree.
28:59
I. Thought we've got the key.
29:05
And Vendale pulls from behind them.
29:07
Will you roll a dice for me, Jake?
29:10
Yeah, just roll into. 10. Vendale pulls from behind them a
29:16
giant cartoon black bomb, and it's lit.
29:20
Let's get the fuck out of here, shall we?
29:22
And they throw it at the crowd of Watchmen.
29:26
They grab the yellow key from VV as she sort of holds it in
29:30
disgust. That was pretty gruesome.
29:32
Yeah. They shove it on top of the
29:34
yellow button and it glows and the portal opens up and then
29:39
they'll points at it. Fucking go, go.
29:42
Well, you know, if you think about it, sometimes the the most
29:46
obvious path is sometimes the best, you know?
29:50
I'm sorry I exploded you. I'm just gunning them, sliding
29:53
my way in. The portal opens and it starts
29:57
to swirl in this purple light as it ripples and you can almost
30:02
see and feel the real world on the other side.
30:05
It feels like unfettered capitalism out there.
30:09
I I pull vendor and I step through the portal.
30:12
I'm diving diving right in after.
30:15
Yep, head on in. You all pass through the portal.
30:22
And everything goes black. Oh gosh.
30:33
Iona and Jeb and Vivi. You didn't use chip slots, so
30:39
you have to pull the needle out of your own spine. the IT was in
30:45
the back of your spine. You take off the helmet down.
30:49
You're now in this. Group BD Room in Brain Dance
30:54
Palace? Well, Holy Shit is.
30:56
Everybody. OK, is this a trick again?
31:00
No. I'm fine.
31:02
I'm also glowing purple. Again, that's nice.
31:03
I don't think I have a key in me.
31:05
I think we need to check Job. Come here.
31:08
Yeah, a slug jab in the shoulder.
31:12
Rope roll, you smack Jeb in the shoulder, a little frustrated by
31:16
some of the things that have happened.
31:17
Yeah. And you smack him in the
31:19
shoulder and you can see him actually take some some hits.
31:22
And Jeb, you take two damage, Okay?
31:24
But he didn't derez though. No, he did not derez.
31:28
All right, so we're not in the cyberspace world anymore.
31:30
Well, to be fair, I'm not sure I would have Derez if I take if
31:33
I've taken 4 damage in the BD either.
31:36
There's only one way to find out, and I take out my gun.
31:41
Jeb, I think we are in the real world.
31:43
I will run scans on everybody and I think we are flesh and
31:49
bone and people so. And TV heads, Yes, if you say
31:53
so. Wait, where's Claire?
31:55
Claire's an astron. Yeah, we, we.
31:58
Should check on Claire. Why is the door locked?
32:02
Hello. Hello.
32:06
We're done. Hey y'all, remember when Fresh P
32:10
was talking to us that Emma had a low voice when they met them
32:15
and Emma when we talked to them did not have a very low voice
32:19
when we met them? Yeah, no, definitely whoever put
32:23
us in here or somebody else. Let me check something real
32:25
quick. I'm going to run over to this
32:26
computer and I'm going to go cookity clack and see if there's
32:29
anything I can find on there. Sure.
32:31
Let's see what I find on the computers.
32:34
Which is this one? Oh my gosh.
32:38
So as you're trying to do stuff on the computer.
32:44
Oh, are you all right, Remy I. Got shocked again.
32:48
Shit. Well, is this like whole place
32:50
just like corrupted? I'm, I'm going to burn this
32:53
place to the crown. I'm going to burn this place to
32:55
the crown. I'm going to burn this place to
32:56
the Crown. Well, maybe you'll maybe you'll
32:58
have a better time with the with the door.
33:00
So sick of getting shocked. Should should you maybe.
33:03
Try to break the door. Or, you know, try to open it.
33:08
I don't want you to get shocked again, but maybe it's worth a
33:10
shot. 29. Yeah, I punched the through the
33:14
door lock. I grabbed the handle on the
33:16
opposite side and unlocked the door.
33:21
Tired of getting fucking shocked in this place.
33:27
Hi, hi. Hi, Emma, that's.
33:38
Funny, I thought you were meant to be in the BD for a lot longer
33:42
than that, Will. Yeah, we didn't.
33:49
We're out early, so we'll just be on our way now.
33:53
Yeah. Thanks, Emma.
33:55
Oh, you'll be on your way. What's up with the weird, spooky
33:58
voice you're doing? Did you always sound like that?
34:02
My voice, My high hitched voice. When their face splits into
34:08
pieces, What the fuck? Their body clicks in an
34:13
unnatural way. Oh, you guys seeing this?
34:16
Or just like. Pala now.
34:20
I knew we wouldn't get the information out of you.
34:23
Roll for initiative. Holy God.
34:25
Oh. My God.
34:28
Oh my God. Vendel, you should grapple them.
34:33
Sounds good, Vendel. Jumps over retro, kicks off the
34:37
wall, kicks off the other wall and just goes straight for Emma
34:40
16 OK well we have to roll 25. Damn.
34:45
Vendel slips to the ground as this so-called Emma takes a
34:50
sidestep. And I'll looks up at them.
34:54
I may not be able to materialize things, but I do have my
34:56
weapons, so I'm going to kill you now.
34:58
And they take out their sword and they slice them.
35:01
Good old slice and dice. Wait a minute.
35:03
Are we still in the BD? No, Jeb, if you die in real
35:07
life, you die in real life. Were you alive?
35:10
15. That's not very good.
35:13
Oh, they rolled a three. That's why the crypt fails are
35:17
happening. Tonight is Halloween.
35:19
Emma tries to dodge and fails miserably, rolling a crit fail
35:24
-6 and the sword goes straight into them causing 15 damage.
35:30
You little shit. Well, that's for trying to kill
35:34
me and then doing it twice that. Really.
35:37
Three times. It was not fun.
35:39
I'm going to auto fire this R.E.M.
35:41
Where IP edition handgun. Damn.
35:45
So that's three times damage. 5 * 3 is 15.
35:50
The bullets rip into Emma and these these are auto fire
35:54
bullets. So she takes a step back into
35:57
the room behind the hallway. As the bullets rip through their
36:01
body you see black flesh and machine parts trying to come
36:06
back together as you've already caused her quite a lot of pain.
36:10
Oh shit. As they step back, the door
36:14
handle catches in one of their open spaces and it comes off
36:17
sticking into. Their chest and making it way
36:20
harder for them to move. They're now stuck in this corner
36:23
because the door is stuck in their body.
36:26
Piece of shit. Get the.
36:27
Fuck off me. Well, this is just getting
36:30
grosser and grosser. Do you want to get taken out of
36:34
your misery? Fuck you.
36:36
I'm going to take that as a yes. Bang Bang.
36:43
That's a crit. Fail, Sir.
36:44
Shit. Hey, that's a warning shot.
36:47
I'll give you one more chance. What do you say?
36:53
You leave us the fuck alone and and tell us everything we need
36:56
to know and anything else? Team.
37:01
No. That's it.
37:02
Those are the only things I'm looking for.
37:04
Right. Shoot again.
37:07
Oh, all right. You.
37:09
Only shot one. Wow.
37:11
That's a. Crit plus 9, giving you 30 in
37:14
total. That was a really good role.
37:16
Well done, and the bullet hits them square in the body, causing
37:20
10 damage, which is a blade by the armor.
37:23
So they're in they the damage is enough that they are now prone.
37:30
Now it's Emma's. Turn this well.
37:32
This replicant on the ground looks up at your wall, pulls out
37:36
a heavy pistol, and tries to shoot at VV.
37:40
Shoot. 22 the bullet hits you. So your armor gets bladed by
37:46
one? They ruin a part of your sexy
37:49
nurse outfit, No? No.
37:51
My sexy nurse outfit. You bitch.
37:54
You know your sexy nurse outfit. Victoria ripped another button
37:57
off. Oh, actually, you might have
38:05
helped me, Emma. That V is getting deeper.
38:15
VV goes to her little stocking leg that has a little Garter on
38:19
the side and she pulls out her Sandra Hello cutie from the
38:25
side. It actually looks very cutely
38:27
decorated on the side of her little costume and shoots nice.
38:33
15. It's a.
38:36
Mess. Mess.
38:37
All right, let's show you. 19 there we go.
38:41
Your first shot misses. Your second shot hits square,
38:46
causing 16 damage in total. One of her arms blows off and
38:51
skids across the room and it starts to try and crawl back to
38:56
her and then runs out of power and dies.
39:00
I really need to talk to the others.
39:01
I don't understand why we're programmed to feel pain.
39:04
Welcome to life, sweetheart. Hey there, Emma.
39:07
So question if. Say you had a person who was
39:12
completely flesh and blood, and then you replaced each and every
39:15
single part with a piece of cybertech completely all over.
39:19
Would that still be the same person, or would that be a
39:22
completely new person altogether?
39:25
Is there a new brain? Everything is everything has all
39:28
been replaced. Not a single thing has been.
39:31
Not a single thing is leftover from the original person, but it
39:34
still retains. Everyone's.
39:36
It would have to be them, but would it still be them though?
39:38
Because it's still not. That's how we work.
39:41
I mean, fuck you. Roll for it. 19 I'm going to
39:46
roll against you. Are you smarter than Remy?
39:52
She looks at you very confused. Oh, you mean like the ship of
39:56
Theseus? I hate that.
39:57
It's not the. It's not the same.
39:59
Well, no, it is the same. It's not the same, but it is the
40:01
same. But it's not.
40:03
And you watch her glitch, and she explodes.
40:13
Done Vendel and retro roll evasion.
40:17
Evasion. Retro.
40:18
You get great evasion. It was my plan.
40:22
Amazing, Amazing roll there. On a 22 you gain 2022.
40:28
It's great you dodge out the way and Vendel gets covered in
40:31
machine bits and viscera and takes 4 damage.
40:36
Ow, fuck. Ah.
40:39
And I I have to wash this off for real, don't I?
40:41
You do? Yeah, fuck.
40:44
And combat is over. Gosh, I grab Claire?
40:50
Or do we leave Claire for the EDI?
40:54
Think we should get Claire out of here?
40:56
I'm done with this place. I might.
40:59
She seems actually probably pretty fucked up.
41:01
Can we just like? We just like enjoy our Halloween
41:04
for once like. Yes.
41:07
However, we should buy some BDS out of the case.
41:11
Hey, wait, wasn't there a thing? Whoever got the highest score
41:15
got something. I'm.
41:17
Going to say that that was all part of some kind of big trap.
41:20
Bastards. Way they lied to us, those sons
41:24
of bitches. That's marketing for you.
41:26
I'm glad I logic bombed them. Yeah, me too.
41:29
Can I go to the BD case real fast?
41:32
Sure. Remind me what's in here?
41:34
There are workout chips. There are a few skill chips.
41:38
The skill chips require online authorization, so you wouldn't
41:42
be able to steal those. Always trying to steal.
41:44
I was going to give money. Do I look like I'm going to
41:48
steal BD chips? I don't know.
41:50
We've I, I, I I died three times.
41:54
So sorry, Iona. It's been a bit of a lot.
41:59
I killed a giant watchman by dying.
42:01
Yeah, sorry about that. But again, it was.
42:03
I thought it was a pretty full oh.
42:05
Chad, I really want to slap you. Understood.
42:08
Cool. Can I?
42:09
Is that OK? You know what?
42:12
Go for it. Awesome.
42:15
And Bendel slaps you. Yeah, yeah.
42:21
Oh, oh. That felt great.
42:24
That's the best Christmas gift ever.
42:25
That's what Christmas is it? It's.
42:27
Halloween. It's Halloween.
42:30
I think we should just start giving gifts to people on every
42:33
holiday. Retro, you find the keys to the
42:36
door on the rest of Emma's body. Oh, I wonder what these keys do.
42:41
Oh, we would probably go and unlock the door for our friend.
42:44
Let's let's go and do that. Do you think she's going through
42:47
as hellish of a nightmare that we did?
42:50
I hope not. Me too.
42:53
That was awful all. Right, Vivi, Do you want to help
42:56
get Claire up? Yes, I'll I'll go and grab her.
43:00
She's still hooked up to the computer.
43:03
Can I like gently nudge as to not scare her?
43:08
She's unresponsive. Alive.
43:10
Yeah, I'll go to the computer and turn the BD off.
43:13
When you turn on the computer, you can see that she has
43:15
progressed through the matrix. It has to be done in real time.
43:19
It's about 9 1/2 hours and there's a little bit of red text
43:23
above. Eject patient.
43:28
Damn it. OK, I think we may need to leave
43:33
Claire in the brain dance for the full duration because it
43:38
could cause some damage if we don't.
43:40
Well, what if we just make the time in the BD move fast?
43:46
I don't think that's possible. Yeah, they said the the the
43:49
movie experiences have to be in real time, otherwise it doesn't
43:51
work. What did it say The the the
43:53
duration is left on her experience. 8 hours, 10 minutes
43:59
left. It's only been an hour.
44:02
All right, we're going to have to come back here tomorrow and
44:05
check on her. Well, we've got the keys.
44:08
Yeah, I I I'm sure she'll be OK. I feel a little weird not having
44:15
someone be here just to make sure nothing happens to her, you
44:17
know? I'm going to dial.
44:20
OK. Hi guys.
44:23
You all right? How?
44:24
Was the brain done? Not so great.
44:26
I tried to get almost got killed.
44:29
What? Claire's.
44:31
Yeah, Claire's kind of stuck in their brain dance for another 8
44:35
hours. We don't we don't feel
44:37
comfortable just kind of leaving them here by themselves.
44:39
So maybe we take the Halloween party from the bar and we have
44:44
it here. Sure, I do need to bring some
44:47
alcohol. Yeah, and tacos.
44:50
Yeah, I'll. Get Reeves to bring some.
44:53
Sweet. I haven't seen Reeves in
44:55
forever. See you when you get here.
44:57
Pain, OK. I'll be there in a bit.
44:59
So. We having a lock in.
45:01
Yeah, I got Pete's bringing alcohol and tacos.
45:05
Oh. Oh, should we watch a should we
45:08
watch like a scary movie? You know, kind of get in the in
45:11
the theme of things. Oh yeah, what movie do we want
45:14
to watch? What about?
45:18
Yeah, I I saw 37. It was my favorite.
45:25
That was like, that was like my third reboot.
45:27
I thought they did. I'm not off, though.
45:30
I like Hammer and I'm a big fan of What's It?
45:35
Oh, chainsaw. Yeah, that was a good one.
45:38
That was a good spin off series. Yeah.
45:41
I didn't really like the the main villain though. 200 piece
45:44
puzzle, Not my favorite. Oh my God.
45:48
Oh Oh yeah. Wait, wasn't wasn't that the
45:49
one? That was the the spiritual
45:52
sequel to Cubed to the Third Power.
45:56
Right. Although that was Rubik's and he
45:58
he gets confused. OK, OK, so we're going to watch
46:03
all the Saw films, all 37 of them.
46:07
That's more time. Than 8 hours.
46:09
We could skip to the good parts, I guess.
46:11
We'll watch the movies, get some drinks, have some tacos and.
46:16
Actually have a fun time? Yes, I think that'll be fun.
46:22
And we can actually have some semblance of a fun Halloween.
46:28
We we're going to need to get some candy though.
46:30
Candy. Should we invite fresh pea?
46:33
Well then, Jeff, why don't you go get some candy and come back?
46:36
All right, I'll be right back. What kind of candy do you guys
46:38
like? You guys more of a like a
46:39
chocolate. You know.
46:41
Any kind of candy, We're like that sour.
46:45
Please ping a rods. I'm right there with you.
46:48
And you know what? I like chalky pods.
46:51
Chalky pods. We got sour gummy worms better.
46:55
We need retro. I love, I love better honeys.
46:58
Oh, oh, he's a couple twist. Cardboard squirt?
47:03
Yeah, yeah, of course, yeah. Yeah, the sodo snack.
47:06
Yeah, they're they're so good. No, that's terrible and dusty.
47:11
But I want to give them to the shitty costumes.
47:12
Oh, that's good. It's like we we reward the trick
47:16
or treaters with the equivalence of candy equal to their
47:21
participation in the holiday. I lost that.
47:25
I brought drinks. Dang.
47:27
It's. Happening.
47:29
Come on in. Come on in.
47:31
We just had an absolutely horrific and awful afternoon 49.
47:35
It's not worth it And pulls out a backpack in their back, puts
47:40
it on the table and it unfolds into a bar.
47:44
Why it's like a mini bar but? Backpack Oh, it's a nano bar.
47:49
I used to use this when I did my other job.
47:51
You know, if somebody wanted to, like, loosen up before we got
47:54
dizzy? Well, that sounds great.
47:57
And then Remy's going to pull out a joint and like that.
47:59
All right. Sounds like we'll get this party
48:02
started all. Right.
48:03
I'll be right back with the candy.
48:04
Oh, Jeb. Here, take a drink.
48:07
Appreciate that. Oh look, is this just a rye
48:11
whiskey? No, no, that's just straight
48:13
moonshine. I thought you wanted to get
48:14
really fucked up. You guys said you had a bad
48:16
time. Oh yeah.
48:18
Yes. Oh.
48:21
Jeb, you didn't drink. Whoa.
48:22
That is straw. Oh, it burns on the way down
48:26
that. Is.
48:27
Just straight desolate. This goes temporary blind.
48:33
I cannot see you just chugged that to to resist this
48:37
particular moonshine. You are drunk as fuck, but very
48:41
but still staunchly trying to get candy.
48:44
Oh, I guess I'm walking because I'm not irresponsible.
48:47
I'm not going to drive on the three.
48:49
Times. All right, Jeff, be careful.
48:51
We'll see you in a bit. All right, he kind of stumbles
48:53
into a trash can. Do you think he's going to make
48:59
it back? He'll be.
49:01
Fine. We've seen worse.
49:16
Next time on no latency. Oh man, I am feeling a little
49:25
hungover. Do you need some Alco seltzer?
49:28
Oh, Lee. He woke up finally.
49:31
Has anyone else ever woken up in a tube?
49:33
Am I in a? Tube buddies for life, bro.
49:36
She's a good bird, I will tell you that.
49:38
Yeah. You ever heard about this oil
49:39
rig? Where's this oil rig?
49:41
In water. That's why we're going to see
49:42
pie wrap. We get a boat.
49:44
I know that we're going out in the middle of nowhere, but like,
49:47
is there any way we could like, get some like?
49:49
Schematics of the ocean. Floor plan if they got it.
49:52
What did happen to that one liner?
49:54
Jumped out the window on a hellcat.
49:56
Wow, how do you access the core? Jack the Core.
49:58
They got a speeding ticket. Not city.
50:00
Relax. How did that happen?
50:03
What? What do you mean I?
50:04
Believe an innocent person in a coma.
50:06
She's pretty deep in the coma. So too OK, we need to get to the
50:09
Bubble Cafe all. Right, baby, you can have
50:11
shotgun. That's cool.
50:12
Shoot all hostiles. All right.
50:14
I like that plan. I'm not messing around.
50:42
Thank you for joining us on our adventure once again here at No
50:46
Latency. Don't forget to follow us on
50:49
Twitter at No Latency Pod. Check out our website at
50:53
nolatencypodcast.com. And if you'd like to support us
50:56
further, we have a Patreon get exclusive content, spin offs,
51:00
bonus episodes, bloopers, add free episodes, and so much more
51:04
with weekly content to say thank you to our supporters and even
51:08
spice up your own cyberpunk red games at home, no matter what
51:12
level your support. Thank you again so much for
51:15
listening. We literally couldn't do this
51:17
without you. And of course we'll see you next
51:20
time in Night City. Thanks for listening, Jim.