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The Ramp Up Looms - Chapter 14 This Inevitable Ruin · The Apocalypse Will Be Podcasted

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Hello, and this is the Apocalypse Will Be Podcasted.
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We are a married couple from Atlanta with boring
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day jobs. We have been together 12 years, and
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we usually create a lot of weird performance
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art to entertain people. But we are trying our
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hand at having a podcast because we have had
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an obsession lately, and that obsession is Dungeon
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Crawler Carl. This is a spoilers podcast, and
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we will be discussing plot points from all seven
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Dungeon Crawler Carl books. You should not start
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this podcast until you have finished book 7.
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We will not be discussing anything from Patreon
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or the Pineapple Cabaret. There are spoilers
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from this point forward. Be warned. Here we are
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in chapter 14. We have the four phases of combat
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plus triggering conditions. Current phase, the
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ceasefire. 50 hours left. The ramp up. Triggers
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when the ceasefire ends. 180 hours. Open hostilities.
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Triggers when the ramp up expires. Peeling of
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the Rakos. Triggers once four teams remain. Yeah,
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I will say is a testament to the writing that
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when I was reading the books, I didn't really
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feel like it was just info dumping rules at me
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all the time. But now that I'm going through
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chapter by chapter and like going through line
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by line and like picking out important points.
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There's so many rules and it's definitely a real
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accomplishment that it doesn't feel like that
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when you're reading it through for the first
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time. Yeah, it doesn't stand out as much when
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you're just reading through or listening as you're
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driving to work. But yeah, these rules get to
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be quite a lot. Fortunately, we only have maybe,
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I think pretty much after this chapter, they're
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not really talking about rules too much more.
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So that'll be nice. Yeah, definitely. I hope
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so. So what's happening here? Okay, so the first
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thing is that Donut and Carl and everyone else
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should know by now not to say when something
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upsets you because the AI will make sure that
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they come back and get you on that. So the computer
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is now calling their base the FUPA. Yep. And
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that's Donut's fault. It is, yeah, never, never,
2:22
ever make a big deal about something upsetting
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you. Yeah, the AI is just going to have a field
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day with that. So they're entering their flag
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room, the FUPA, and the flag room is super secret.
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Anything that happens in there is basically private
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and nobody else is going to have access to that
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information. It is recorded, but anything that
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is said in there isn't available to the public
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for eight days. So the idea is that. Once people
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do get that info that it's going to be stale.
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Well, that's good because we know there's some
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rampant cheating going on. There is? There is.
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The princess posse isn't cheating, though. Of
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course not. No. Well, maybe they're cheating
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a little. No, they're not cheating. Not cheating,
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but they do have spies. Well, having spies isn't
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cheating, though. That's part of the rules. All
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the other teams seem to think that the princess
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posse is cheating, especially the lemmingsorsham,
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as they're called, which... That name is just
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weird. I don't understand why they're called
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the Limbing Sorsham. Funny name. I guess so.
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But yeah, so when they're in the flag room, they
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have a lot more like menus and screens available
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to them. And like in their interface, all these
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like screens keep popping up on Donut and Carl's
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vision. And it's kind of disorganized and frustrating.
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Yeah, he has a little bit of a meltdown about
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it. And once again, people are talking while
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he's messing with his screens. Yes. It says that
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he has a window that lists all of the troops,
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one that listed all of their secured locations,
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one that listed the nine other teams, along with
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a message window where Carl can send direct messages
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to the other warlords. And what is Donut doing
4:01
here? So Donut is trying to go off on Everest
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and Nadia here in the warlord chat, but Carl
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begs her to stop. I think that's the right move.
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There's already a lot going on in this chapter.
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And there's a lot of unhinged rants from Donut
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later in the book that are perfect chef's kiss.
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So I just feel that now is not the right time.
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I wouldn't say that they're unhinged. I think
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that they are perfectly adequate and calculated.
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A little bit unhinged. A little bit unhinged,
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but definitely very much so in the style of Donut.
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I would have kind of liked to have seen what
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message she would have sent to Empress Denadia
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here because... While we do get some great Jonah
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and Carl going off on Empress Denadia when they
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kill her, I imagine whatever message she sends
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here would have been more snarky and funny versus
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extremely serious. I mean, I think it would have
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been in line with the other things that she sends
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to the other warlords later on in the book. Right.
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And when she's going off on Prince Stalwart,
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the text chats are definitely funnier than the
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in -person dialogue that she has with the other
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warlords. I know, but balance is important. Baroness
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Victory explains to Carl that all of these screens
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that they have and different panels and such
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is similar to what a game guide sees. And I would
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imagine when you're a new game guide that that
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can be pretty overwhelming and a lot to learn
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and deal with. Definitely a steep learning curve,
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I would imagine. Especially because you're probably
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so traumatized you can't function. Yeah, I mean,
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we know that Mordecai was extremely traumatized
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when he enters his indentureship as a game guide.
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I was re -listening to Eye of the Bedlam Bride
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and just listened to the chapter where Odette
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basically info dumps on Carl about how things
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ended when she was Mordecai's game guide and
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watching him while he was a game guide and that.
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I mean, he was just... extremely depressed for
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a very long time and just drank himself into
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a stupor all the time. And I think that's pretty
6:07
much how he was up until Carl and Donut came
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around because he just was so hopeless and so
6:14
lost. Yeah, that's some definite Hunger Games
6:17
vibes because that's how Haymitch is from the
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end of his games until when Katniss and Peeta
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show up. Yeah, and these people come along that...
6:25
have a chance of changing everything and that
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kind of turns things around for this character
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that's just been so hopeless for so long. That's
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a very well established trope. I was going to
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ask you if that was a very well established trope.
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Common theme in literary tropes I suppose. Yeah
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especially dystopian. Yeah I would imagine so.
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So Carl is overwhelmed with all these screens
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and is trying to get rid of some of them or minimize
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them and he ends up closing out all of the screens
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and like things on his HUD, including his health
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bar, the level timer, his mini map, his mana
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bar. And like he says that he was so used to
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having all of these things in his vision that
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like he felt naked without them. So he's going
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back through and trying to get all of these set
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back up on his interface. And he starts talking
7:15
about these game notifications that he basically
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had removed from his interface. And most of them
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are. pretty much useless and everyone started
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calling them the spam folder at you know some
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point during the crawl but this is where we get
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a very ominous of knowledge yeah and you know
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i think for me that's just something that is
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constant throughout the series is you really
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need to read all your notifications because sometimes
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the giant spider in your chest is trying to kill
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you yeah but like Anyone who's played like a
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lot of MMOs and such is familiar with these kind
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of game notifications that you're going to get.
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So like I would I'm not sure exactly what all
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they're going to be in Dungeon Crawler Carl.
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But like you'll get in video games like you've
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taken a potion. Your potion is going to last
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for five minutes. Your potion has four minutes
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and 30 seconds left. Your potion is going to
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expire in four minutes. This this mob drop this
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like it's just like incessant. And like if there's
8:15
like a chat window that all that's popping up
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and like. it can be overwhelming and you can
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filter it down to just more important messages.
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And if you have all of it turned on, you're going
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to miss some of those more important messages
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that come through. So it does make sense that
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a lot of the crawlers would turn these off or
8:31
filter them down to just the more important things.
8:34
And it's also important to keep in mind that
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we see Carl playing Call of Duty in the first
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chapter of the first book. So we know he is familiar
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with video games. But you have to keep in mind
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that there's people like Katya and Amani who've
8:46
probably never played a video game in their life.
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And, you know, I'm just going to tell a quick
8:50
story that I've stated before. I play Breath
8:53
of the Wild and only Breath of the Wild until
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Nintendo is interested in dropping another Mario
8:59
game, which hopefully they will with the new
9:01
movie coming out. But I was trying to talk one
9:03
of my friends into Breath of the Wild, and she's
9:05
like, I don't really know how to play video games.
9:07
And I was like, I completely understand. You
9:09
know, I'm the same way. I think Breath of the
9:11
Wild is worth trying to stick it out and like
9:15
learn how to play. And then Nikki said something
9:18
and she goes, well, what if I don't know how
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to jump? OK, sometimes you don't know how to
9:23
jump in video games. And like, it's just so foreign
9:26
to you that you don't even know where to start.
9:28
And I think it's important to remember that there
9:30
are people like that out there. Yeah, definitely.
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And I mean, there's such a huge disparity. I
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don't know if that's the right word, but there's
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such a. wide range of video games ranging from
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Flappy Bird or Candy Crush that have basically
9:44
like two mechanics in them and then going to
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like extreme mode of Dark Souls. Like that is
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a very big canyon dividing those two games. Yeah,
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well, and I play Breath of the Wild even though
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I'm bad at it. I've certainly gotten better,
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but I'm still not like. Right. Yeah. I mean,
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there can be a very, very steep learning curve
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with games. Gosh, it would be so amazing if they
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came out with a Dungeon Crawler Carl MMO or some
10:12
kind of video game. The level of intricacy that
10:17
they could do with a Dungeon Crawler Carl video
10:20
game would be like, it could be very intricate.
10:23
That's interesting. I mentioned to one of my
10:25
friends that we had a podcast about Dungeon Crawler
10:27
Carl and she had only heard about it. because
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they're releasing a tabletop game, and she follows
10:34
new releases in tabletop games, and apparently
10:37
this is a big thing people are excited about.
10:39
Yes, and I have signed up for the Kickstarter.
10:43
It wasn't done on Kickstarter, but I've signed
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up for that. So hopefully we will be one of the
10:47
first people to get the game. I don't think we
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talked about that. It was $5. $5 ,000, sorry.
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Anyways, moving on. So Carl is hit with a sense
10:58
of horror when he sees all of these notifications,
11:01
hundreds of them. Bloom Wraith phase failed to
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activate. Mind Balance prevented activation.
11:07
Your attempt to disable Mind Balance was prevented
11:09
by Mind Balance. Your Mind Balance has risen
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to level 9. And he realizes that Shemaria has
11:17
been trying to spam spells non -stop, but they
11:21
keep getting prevented by the Mind Balance. skill
11:24
or spell that is associated with his Embrace
11:27
Toe Ring, which is also, like, what allowed him
11:30
to be able to, like, store the slug pop disease,
11:34
uh, etc. Arl should really get cured of his slug
11:38
pox. Uh, that's gonna happen eventually, I'm
11:40
sure. Someday. Someday. Yeah, but he basically
11:44
realizes that, like, she Maria is... constantly
11:48
battling to take control over him if she was
11:51
able to activate gloomwraith phase during the
11:54
suicide bomber attempt he thinks that he would
11:57
have survived that while he was phased but everyone
12:00
else in the room might have died like donut would
12:02
have just been blown to bits so like this is
12:05
pretty horrifying is that carl does say that
12:08
she has her cockroach spell but that that won't
12:11
save her if she's literally blown to bits yes
12:15
and that is Good for shadowing for later. Is
12:18
it? Not for donuts. But yeah, so he messages
12:23
Mordecai and is like, hey, we got to talk. And
12:25
Mordecai is just like, yeah, it's about she Maria,
12:27
right? Rosetta and I are working on a plan for
12:30
that, but it's not going to be pleasant for you.
12:32
No, and we had a lot of good quotes this week,
12:35
but I think that this is one of the ones that
12:37
gets quoted and memed a lot, which is. Goodness,
12:41
Carl, are you okay, Donut Ass? You're shaking
12:44
like Miss Beatrice during pumpkin spices. I love
12:46
pumpkin spice. I am actually drinking a pumpkin
12:49
chai latte on today, March 1st, right now. And
12:53
I don't know why people are so mean about it.
12:56
It's delicious. It's because it's, I mean, I
13:00
guess it's viewed as basic, but certain things
13:02
just have a stereotype associated with them and
13:05
seen as like basic or overdone. And, you know,
13:08
like people say that about vanilla. Well, I mean,
13:10
also, I think most people have only had pumpkin
13:12
spice from Starbucks, and Starbucks pumpkin spice
13:14
is trash. You have to get it from an independent
13:17
coffee shop. Yes. Support your local independent
13:19
coffee shops. There needs to be more of them.
13:21
You can read Dungeon Caller Carl while you're
13:23
in them. You absolutely can. We did that. It
13:26
was very cold because there was no seating inside,
13:28
only outside. It was a silent book club, and
13:31
we didn't stay for very long because, as I said,
13:34
there was only seating available outside, and
13:36
it was January. Well, rating is very in right
13:39
now because you have to get to the silent book
13:42
clubs maybe an hour before they start to be able
13:46
to actually get a seat. At least here in Atlanta,
13:48
maybe in other cities where they actually have
13:50
like a big coffee scene, an independent coffee
13:53
shop scene like in Seattle. Maybe that's less
13:56
so the case. But here in Atlanta, we only have
13:59
like 10 like independent coffee shops. It's ridiculous.
14:02
Baroness Victory tells Carl that most warlords
14:06
stay in their flag room for basically the entirety
14:08
of Faction Wars. Bunch of babies. But the orcs,
14:12
the reavers, and the dream all choose to lead
14:15
from the front. At least they're, I guess, leading
14:19
by example to an extent. But, I mean, we know
14:22
that all of this Faction Wars stuff is really
14:24
just a bunch of, like, whose dick is bigger,
14:28
basically. Yeah, it's just an ego contest. Yeah,
14:31
it is. Baroness Victory lets Carl know that the
14:34
agitants can't help directly. What they just
14:38
witnessed with her stepping in and helping there
14:41
was an anomaly, but that they can help out with
14:45
strategy and some bending of the rules, which
14:48
Baroness Victory loves to do. Yeah, definitely.
14:51
So it's more of a situation where it's like,
14:54
OK, does this break the rules? yes that does
14:58
break the rules you can't do that however if
15:02
you did this and that does fall within the rules
15:06
and i wanted to be a lawyer when i was younger
15:09
and i love law in this capacity like the same
15:14
way that princess or the same way that baroness
15:16
victory does that's one of the reasons she's
15:18
my favorite characters is i do find the way that
15:21
law can be interpreted just to be so interesting
15:23
Yes, unfortunately, that's usually used to the
15:26
detriment of the little people of the world,
15:29
which is a lot of what these books are about.
15:32
She does remind Carl that she will absolutely
15:35
call fouls even on them. This is where Donut
15:38
asks, what was your sister like? Yeah, and Carl
15:42
is very confused at first, but Donut says it's
15:45
important and that she really wants to hear an
15:48
answer. And basically what Fairness Victory says.
15:53
boils down to is that she used to be close to
15:56
her sister until she got married and joined the
15:58
royal family but that her sister had reached
16:02
out to her to see if they could meet up right
16:05
before she died and that it seems like she had
16:08
a lot of disappointment in life because life
16:11
with the royal family wasn't what she had hoped
16:12
yeah and she says that once upon a time that
16:16
they shared a very similar outlook on life and
16:18
I wonder like if Uglu hadn't married into the
16:21
royal family if maybe she would have ended up
16:23
on a similar path as Baroness Victory. Yeah,
16:26
perhaps. But the reason that Donut wants to hear
16:29
her answer is that she's still trying to size
16:31
her up. And she says that you can tell a lot
16:35
by how people talk about someone who is dead.
16:37
And Carl is like... What TV show did you get
16:40
that from? And Donut is like, not everything's
16:42
from a TV show, Carl. Sometimes I just have my
16:44
own ideas. Yeah, maybe I'm just insightful, Carl.
16:47
I did also want to say that Baroness Victory
16:50
said about her sister reminded me of when she
16:53
was basically being interviewed to be their adjutant.
16:56
Back on floor eight, she is like telling Carl
17:01
that she can be impartial because she sentenced
17:04
her own aunt for tax fraud, basically, which
17:07
like. I think that's a very good point to call
17:11
out if you're saying that you have the ability
17:13
to be impartial. I do. I think that's very valid.
17:16
And I just love this exchange. It's such good
17:19
character insights for both Donut and her Baroness
17:24
Victory. And it's a really enjoyable passage
17:27
in the book for me. Absolutely. But Donut's basically
17:30
like, yeah, we need to know if we can trust her.
17:32
And Carl says, we don't trust anybody, Donut.
17:34
Not at first. Yeah, and Donut says, well, you
17:37
trusted Sister Inez, and look how that turned
17:40
out. Mm -hmm. That did lead to a very great crescendo
17:46
for the end of the eighth floor, though. Yeah,
17:48
Sister Inez definitely had a lot of crazy going
17:50
on. Yeah, I mean, all of the craziness at the
17:53
end of the eighth floor wouldn't have happened
17:54
if Mongo just ate the nun. There would have been
17:57
different craziness. There had to be a climax
18:00
to the floor, so. Matt would have definitely
18:02
come up with something else, so no worries there.
18:05
So at this point, Carl is very overwhelmed, and
18:07
so are we, because there is a lot going on here,
18:10
and there is a lot of info dumping in this chapter
18:12
again. There really is. So we've talked before
18:15
that one of the ways that Matt Deniman lets you
18:19
know that you can like a character is how nice
18:22
they are to the pets, and Fairness Fictionry
18:26
does do something very nice for Rendon Mongo
18:28
here, but it's a little gross. Yeah, she... takes
18:31
her battle axe out of her holder and leans it
18:34
up against the wall so that Mongo and Rind are
18:37
both able to lick all of the blood and gore off
18:41
of it. It says even Florin is grossed out about
18:44
that. But I do think that it's a really interesting
18:48
character moment because Donut and Carl were
18:52
talking about if they could trust her. And then
18:55
she immediately does something nice for the pets.
18:58
which is one of the biggest ways that these books
19:01
signal that someone's a good person. Yeah, definitely.
19:04
But it's maybe a little bit complicated in this
19:07
case because it is gross. Yeah, but it's funny
19:10
that like Florin is kind of like side -eyeing
19:13
and a little bit grossed out by this because
19:15
back when Efechi was still alive, she could generate
19:19
different kinds of like worms or grubs or something
19:22
and Florin could eat those and get different
19:26
kinds of buffs. So that's pretty gross. So it's
19:30
kind of silly that he's a little bit grossed
19:32
out by this interaction here. There's some places
19:35
where eating grubs is a normal part of the menu
19:38
and it doesn't really faze people. And Florin
19:40
is from Australia and my dad grew up in Indonesia
19:44
where it is normal to eat grubs. I imagine these
19:47
weren't your standard grubs though. I don't think
19:50
that they were little thumb sized grubs. I'm
19:52
guessing they were probably pretty big and wriggly
19:55
and gross. They were magic grubs. That's great.
19:58
Magic grubs. There we go. Maybe they were pink
20:01
and sparkly. You make something magic, it's suddenly
20:04
not gross. And this was not magical for an entrails
20:08
on Baroness Victory's axe head. So maybe that's
20:12
the distinction here. Perhaps. So Baroness Victory
20:16
is letting Carl know that the trade that they
20:19
did for Shantytown was a very smart trade because...
20:23
It adds an extra layer of security around Laracos
20:26
that the Princess Posse controls. Well, and it
20:29
says that even if Shantytown gets taken, that
20:31
doesn't mean their base is taken, which is why
20:33
it's a good call. Yes, it's a very good defendable
20:36
position, and it should come with its own city
20:39
defense system similar to what Laracos has. And
20:43
basically, they're able to upgrade it, and Carl
20:46
says that they still have three. upgrade coupons
20:49
available, and she says that maybe using that
20:52
on Shantytown could be good, but using it on
20:54
their own base would probably be a better use
20:57
of those coupons. Yeah, and Brittany is learning
20:59
more about the City Defense system and still
21:02
following Juicebox around trying to get more
21:04
info. Yes, and that City Defense system plays
21:06
a pretty big role later in the books, although
21:09
I feel like it does more damage to Carl and causes
21:13
more problems for Carl than I feel like it solves
21:15
for him. That's the way a lot of things go around
21:17
here. It definitely is. They were finally able
21:21
to get Lena added to their team. Mordecai was
21:24
able to throw a special kind of potion that negated
21:28
some of her auras so they could finally make
21:30
physical contact with her. I think they threw
21:32
the potion at her. I mean, handed it to her,
21:36
I suppose. I mean, I guess she can touch things
21:38
and it's not going to hurt it. Right. Yeah, I
21:40
don't think it's like electricity where if she
21:42
touches something while you're touching it, it's
21:44
going to flow through. I mean, I'm sure she could
21:46
do that if she wanted to. I know that like they
21:48
say that touching her is bad and you're not going
21:50
to have a good time. But like what exactly happens?
21:53
Is it just going to be extremely painful? Or
21:55
do you go permanently blind or insane? Like they
21:59
don't specify what happens. No, I just always
22:03
assumed you got debuffed. Just very unpleasant.
22:06
But Lena joins the crew and she asks if her and
22:10
some of her people can help with building the
22:12
defenses around Shantytown. What those exact
22:15
defenses are, I don't recall at the moment. We'll
22:17
just have to talk about that when we get to it
22:19
later in the book. Knowing her, probably murder
22:21
traps. Murder traps. Definitely. That would make
22:25
sense. Yeah. So the Bone Clan of the Skull Empire
22:28
gets a pre -built castle for winning last year.
22:30
Yeah, you get a... Pretty big benefit if you
22:33
win Faction Wars where, yeah, you get like a
22:35
pre -built castle and in a more defendable position.
22:38
And for like the next five paragraphs, we get
22:42
a breakdown of the geological topography of the
22:46
floor and mountains and lakes and this river
22:49
running through the Skull Empire territory and
22:52
through the Operatic Collectives territory. which
22:55
is just more world building, but it's overwhelmingly
22:57
not important. I think the only important things
23:00
are the mountain defendable position that the
23:05
Skull Empire's castle is on. And that's where
23:08
they use the dwarven diggers to basically cause
23:11
a volcanic eruption to happen. And then that
23:14
river of lava follows the river heading towards
23:18
the Rakos. Yeah, and there's a lot of things
23:21
about the rules. Very specific details in the
23:26
next couple of pages, which are good to know,
23:28
but I don't think that we have a lot of commentary
23:31
to add to them. I think the biggest thing is
23:34
that Carl is just losing his absolute shit because
23:37
he's finding out that they have a hundred K soldiers
23:42
sitting on the edge of their territory waiting
23:46
to come in as soon as open hostilities start.
23:48
Yes. Well, ramp up, not open hostilities. Victory
23:52
explains that they have enemies massing on their
23:56
northern border. There's about 100 ,000 enemies
23:59
at the northern border and that's where Lauren
24:02
and his teams are going to hold them off for
24:05
a while during the ramp up. And basically she
24:08
tells Carl that the enemy is planning to sweep
24:10
in hard and fast and just overwhelm them during
24:13
the ramp up with their superior firepower and
24:16
outside dungeon gear that they brought in. with
24:19
the hopes of forcing them to retreat into the
24:21
city or just die defending their castle. Yeah,
24:24
well, and there's no magic allowed during this
24:26
phase, and it's because the creators of the show
24:31
want old -fashioned, hand -to -hand military
24:35
battles, and they just really want it to be soldier
24:39
versus soldier and artillery. So it's kind of
24:43
like a fantasy cosplay of an old battle is what
24:46
they're trying to create here. But with the intricacies
24:50
of what the rules are. So Donna is pretty upset
24:53
because she can't use her puddle jumper and she
24:55
can't use her wall of fire. But Carl can use
24:58
his gloom wreath because that is a skill. It
25:02
is not magic. Yes. Victory asks Carl if he is
25:07
familiar with the rules of the ramp up. And he's
25:09
like. Uh, no, I'm not familiar with fucking anything.
25:12
And she tells him the season's rules regarding
25:16
the onset of hostilities. There are four phases,
25:19
and we are in phase one right now, the ceasefire.
25:21
And there's the ramp up, open hostilities, and
25:23
the peeling of Laracos. When the ceasefire ends,
25:27
the ramp up begins. It lasts 180 hours. There
25:30
are several rules for this next phase, and you
25:33
must familiarize yourself with them immediately.
25:36
The important ones are no celestial summonings
25:39
will be allowed. Egress into enemy territory
25:42
by non -scouts is only allowed through narrow,
25:44
kilometer -wide gates. Each corridor is at the
25:47
same spot, and it's where the enemies are massing.
25:50
And most importantly, offensive magic and teleport
25:54
magic or skills will not be allowed during the
25:56
second phase. Fun times, because that's pretty
26:00
much everything that the Crawlers have. Yeah,
26:02
definitely. Carl's Gauntlet will work. Traps
26:06
will work as long as it's not teleport or summoning.
26:09
The Gate of the Feral Gods will not work. Yeah,
26:13
we're going to go into some more Gates of the
26:15
Feral Gods stuff later in the book. Sure are.
26:19
Basically, Jonah is very upset about this because
26:23
she just got a bunch of great upgrades to her
26:25
spells and such. I mean, Carl got some really
26:27
good ones too. And like, yeah, a lot of that
26:30
is just not going to be able to be used during
26:32
the ramp up. Very unfortunate. Yeah, but their
26:35
saving grace is there is only two corridors into
26:37
their territory. Yeah. So these corridors, as
26:40
mentioned, are a kilometer wide and they have
26:44
one on their northern border and then one on
26:45
their southern border, essentially. And this
26:47
kind of like made me think of the movie 300.
26:50
And obviously, you know, that's based on a historical
26:52
story. And yeah, I mean, if you only have like
26:55
a small, narrow passageway to defend, you are
26:59
able to do that with. lower number of people
27:02
because yeah only so many people can come through
27:05
at a time so even though there's a hundred thousand
27:07
people at the northern border they can't all
27:09
come through a kilometer wide passageway all
27:12
at once let's put historical in big quotation
27:15
marks fair in the movie what you actually see
27:19
in the film is supposed to be the scout who survived
27:24
Telling it basically as propaganda to everyone
27:27
else to get them excited to go fight the Persians.
27:30
So if you're watching the movie 300 that was
27:33
made by Zack Snyder, even in the text of the
27:36
film, you're supposed to understand that this
27:38
isn't exactly what happened and that it's exaggerated
27:42
propaganda from the beginning. Okay. I thought
27:45
it was a documentary. Sure. Sure. Yeah, so basically,
27:50
you know, everything with the ramp up they're
27:52
doing, like we said earlier, to kind of force
27:54
old -fashioned war with artillery and hand -to
27:57
-hand combat. Victory tells Carl that he should
28:01
remember that a lot of the warlords are that
28:04
in name only, and that only a few of the officers
28:07
have actually seen real combat. And, you know,
28:10
a lot of the people in their armies, the, you
28:13
know, outworlders, they've never really seen
28:15
real battle. They're just... hate mercenaries
28:17
they don't want to die they came in here expecting
28:20
that they could just cosplay and have no real
28:22
consequences i will say that carl does talk to
28:25
one of the mercenaries at the end of the butcher's
28:28
masquerade where he does tell him that you know
28:31
the mercenary didn't want to come do this it's
28:34
the only way he can support his family and i
28:38
think that class distinction is really important
28:41
between the warlords who are basically just doing
28:45
advertisements for tourism on their home planet,
28:48
and then the mercenaries who have to do this
28:51
to survive. Right. And a lot of the people that
28:53
got brought in at the last minute didn't come
28:55
here at all to participate in Faction Wars. They
28:58
were security forces just working on ships and
29:01
working as security for the elite and stuff.
29:03
So they didn't even come to do this LARPing of
29:07
Faction Wars. It makes a big difference when
29:11
you have two forces that are facing each other.
29:14
And one of them is people who are all passionate
29:17
and have a real stake in what's going on and
29:19
fighting for their lives. I .e. the princess
29:22
posse compared to people who are just like paid
29:25
mercenaries. They have a lot less investment
29:27
in what's going on and are more so concerned
29:29
about like their own safety. So it's a lot easier
29:32
to. turn the tides of battle in that sense. And
29:36
I mean, I don't have a great knowledge of history
29:38
of warfare, but that is something that has happened
29:41
a lot in historical warfare when you have one
29:45
force that is built of people who are passionate
29:48
about a cause that they're fighting for, and
29:50
then you just have the guys that are paid to
29:51
be there. A lot of the time it was just ego trips
29:54
for the kings, being honest. Yes. But we see
29:57
here in the next couple of chapters that these
30:00
soldiers turn tail and run once things start
30:03
turning against them. And, you know, they see
30:05
that like, oh, shit, we're getting overrun. Yeah.
30:08
And the block is just hoping that they can just
30:10
kind of knock out the princess posse in one single
30:13
action and then just not have to worry about
30:15
them anymore. Right. Right. I mean, Carl is like.
30:18
overwhelmed by this number of 100 ,000 people.
30:22
He says that the biggest event he ever went to
30:25
was a concert with 20 ,000 people and he couldn't
30:28
comprehend how many people that was in one place
30:31
at one time. Well, that's kind of hilarious to
30:34
us because we've been to multiple music festivals
30:36
that were 130k plus. And if you've ever been
30:40
to a huge music festival and been at the main
30:42
stage on Saturday night with the main headliner,
30:46
it's a lot of people. Definitely. And I know
30:50
that we've been to EDC Orlando a bunch of times
30:52
and their main stage that they usually put like
30:55
some of the bigger names like Excision on has
30:58
a choke point coming out of it. And it's really
31:01
stressful, actually. Yeah. Yeah, it does. Like
31:04
EDC Las Vegas, just absolutely massive. We've
31:09
been to a lot of music festivals. Let's move
31:11
on here, though. Lauren is talking to Carl and
31:15
he's like. these corridors we're heavily defending
31:18
them but you know even if they do break their
31:20
way through those corridors we're going to be
31:22
like littering our sides of the battlefield with
31:26
tripper proof traps which is great that that's
31:29
something they're able to create and he says
31:31
like hey we have engineers here helping us out
31:34
that have been studying this kind of warfare
31:35
for a very long time and when he says a very
31:38
long time like that can be several hundred years
31:41
or thousands of years like Imagine how good you'd
31:45
get at something if you did it for 3 ,000 years.
31:48
Those former crawlers really worried Dos Ex Machina
31:51
to save the plot, huh? They definitely were.
31:54
Like, as we see here, like, I think... That's
31:57
not a criticism, by the way. No, but, like, I
32:00
think that if the crawlers really just got to
32:03
the Faction Wars floor as their own team and,
32:05
like, these former crawlers didn't come, I think
32:08
they just would have been screwed. Yeah, but...
32:11
Carl is having an absolute panic attack, but
32:14
luckily we are distracted by this, by Louie,
32:19
Katia, Batista, and Samantha entering. Samantha
32:22
is hanging out on Louie's shoulder, bawling her
32:25
eyes out, wiping snot on his neck. I don't know
32:28
why. I mean, I know he doesn't really want to
32:31
put up with it, but like, poor Louie. He's just
32:33
always dealing with Samantha being an absolute
32:36
fucking menace. You also get a lot more upset
32:38
about snot than other people. too debatable um
32:41
debatable but yeah samantha's like i can't believe
32:44
you didn't tell me about the wedding i wouldn't
32:46
have interfered and bonnie says you said she
32:49
would push her over and take her place at the
32:51
last second samantha says you don't understand
32:55
the intricacies of modern love and even if i
32:58
was going to do that or maybe slit the bitch's
33:01
throat that's no reason to get married without
33:03
letting me know honestly Fair point. I stand
33:06
with Samantha here. I think we're going to do
33:09
a standalone episode talking about the AMA that
33:13
Matt did on Reddit this week. But one of the
33:15
things that he said that was so interesting to
33:17
me is that Juicebox was supposed to be a one
33:19
and done character and never come back. Yeah,
33:21
I'm definitely looking forward to doing a standalone
33:24
episode talking about that AMA because there
33:26
was some really, really interesting stuff in
33:28
there. The way Matt writes is very interesting.
33:31
He blasts heavy metal while he's writing. I'm
33:34
sure that appeals to you. It does. Whenever I'm
33:37
like working or need to focus, I blast aggressive
33:39
dubstep so I can really lock in. And some people
33:42
are absolutely bewildered by that and don't understand
33:46
how I could possibly focus. So me and Matt, we
33:48
get each other. It may make me a little crazy,
33:51
though. That's fair. Donut lets slip that there
33:54
is a second bigger wedding and everyone looks
33:57
at Donut like, are you serious? What? Donut,
34:01
like, come on now. Well, don't worry. If that
34:03
second wedding is going to occur, I don't know
34:05
when it will be. No. Sadly, we don't get the
34:08
big second wedding. We haven't gotten it yet.
34:10
Not yet. So Bonnie is there and Carl's like,
34:13
how'd you get here? And she rode over with Louie
34:16
on their airship. And Carl's like, continues
34:20
having this internal debate with himself of like,
34:23
these are just kids. Like, kids shouldn't be
34:25
involved in all of this. Well, and Carl talks
34:28
to her like she's a kid where he's like, did
34:29
you have a good ride on the airship? And she's
34:32
like, yeah, it was fun. Yeah, I can't wait to
34:35
do it more. It was way better than the Twister.
34:37
But yeah, so she talks a little bit about the
34:40
defense systems that they're mounting. And Carl
34:43
says that she's just a little kid. She shouldn't
34:45
need to worry about it. And then I think this
34:48
is one of the biggest mic drops from the entire
34:50
series, which is the little girl gave me a chilling
34:54
smile. I shouldn't have to think about killing
34:56
outworlders. Why shouldn't I? Have they stopped
34:59
thinking about trying to kill me? Great way to
35:02
end a chapter. So with that, we are all wrapped
35:04
up with chapter 14 and look forward to having
35:07
you join us next week where everyone gets to
35:09
smell like the incontinent assholes of diseased
35:12
skunks. New achievement. You've listened to another
35:16
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35:20
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