Latest / No Latency / No Latency - Ep.35 Halloween Jay - Jester Revealed

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No Latency - Ep.35 Halloween Jay - Jester Revealed · No Latency

0:02
Last time a no latency, it's just one, just one robot use its
0:09
own weapons against him because here as fast as we could paint.
0:13
We got here as fast as we could. Yes, I'm glad you're okay.
0:17
The stranger Shaq. Shaq, Palm die is what is the
0:20
first letter of every line? So now you're a savior.
0:25
How about that? I wonder you made it alive.
0:29
Can you find the bomb? It means an all before we die
0:32
inside. Our journey is closing more
0:36
times would be nice but soon it will be done.
0:39
Don't take too long. I've lit the fuse everyone
0:42
having fun. Jay
1:02
and the crew. No latency with stranger and
1:05
ping. And finally, van Della's, well,
1:07
all in tow drive back to crystals with joy.
1:11
Quote-unquote, you arrive outside the front.
1:14
There's now a parking space that says Vanna White only only when
1:18
Come Close. Yes.
1:21
My petitions made it through and it's just in the alleyway on the
1:25
left. Well, well we got ourselves.
1:28
A little will parking spot. Let me bat was out.
1:32
You're doing retro. I've been petitioning it with
1:36
paying for the last couple weeks, finally made it through,
1:41
not that good with paperwork. So, I'm just glad I finally was
1:45
able to do something. Yeah, you have to tell the t's
1:48
retro. Okay, ping.
1:52
Yes, the person that took us knew where the no latency bar
1:58
was because we were all part of doing down there when they hit
2:01
us, right? Right.
2:03
So who besides Besides us and the contractor knew about that
2:08
space. Well let's see to knows about
2:14
it. What?
2:15
Well it's tuna what does that matter is to is tuna.
2:21
Okay. Clive knows about it.
2:23
What it's Clive, what? Whoo.
2:28
Okay. Part of the Better Business
2:30
Bureau. Obviously these are just random
2:33
people we know The part of the Union, what union, the union for
2:37
people who own shops, terrible, name, also, business owners.
2:42
You have no. It's you did for people who own
2:45
shops because I had to join Joy up again or people always the
2:50
front doesn't work, okay? So I think they call that a
2:56
Syndicate. Wait, does everyone in this
2:59
Union, know about the bar with it?
3:01
They know that Joy was built where the by used to be.
3:04
Okay. Anyone else know about the bar
3:06
specifically? Hold on.
3:09
What I was Milling around with this before, and I feel like I
3:12
need to bring it up again. Who knew about us in the bar
3:16
before we got raided by the cops because so far as we've
3:22
discovered, That we're going back to strangers Shack, which
3:26
was before the bar got rated, which means they knew about us
3:29
before that. Yeah, and me, stranger and
3:32
Vandal. We were outside having a
3:34
cigarette. And then I think that's the
3:35
last. I remember.
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What do you remember, anything? I remember you not giving back
3:38
my lighter. That's probably a thing for
3:40
later. Stranger wait.
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You're outside. We were having a cigarette.
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I was trying a cigarette. I am a stranger says, I don't
3:48
smoke it very well. I don't think it makes me look
3:50
cool. It doesn't.
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Smoking isn't cool. And then Del throws it to the
3:54
ground holdups on it. Oh my god, there are absolutely.
3:57
Right. Could be, I'm gonna light a
4:00
cigarette. Oh, my goodness.
4:02
So, could this be that AI? That knew all that stuff about
4:07
you too? Hey, yeah.
4:09
We talking about when we like we got, we got an A I and the, in
4:12
the back, right? No nice.
4:14
Were soaked up. Don't talk about that.
4:15
Some people does hard regard. Things differently been
4:20
information about us being here and I suppose, whatever took us
4:26
Soros here and saw it as an opportunity and kind of looks
4:28
really confused and I'm not sure.
4:30
I just know that my head kind of hurts paying does the name.
4:33
Jay, spark anything for you. Nothing, man.
4:38
I guess we just have to figure this out when we get there.
4:41
Yeah. What was the riddle again?
4:44
So now you're a savior. How about that?
4:47
I wonder if you made it alive. Can you find the bomb kittens
4:52
and all before we die inside? Our journey is closing more time
4:58
would be nice but soon it will be done.
5:01
Don't take too long, I've lit the fuse everyone having fun.
5:06
Ah ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha, ha, Jay, that's a good rendition.
5:13
Then Del goes for high five. I also studied poetry, oh, high
5:16
five hours, I studied poetry in University.
5:19
So the shack is stranger shock, right?
5:22
Yeah. I mean it wasn't very secure.
5:24
Arisaka knew I was there trying to I was there.
5:27
That's why. I'll lift the train knew you
5:30
were there. Hmm.
5:31
The Steve's knew they were there.
5:33
Absolutely. It's not all tickets to Steve's
5:37
could be a super-smart Steve. Maybe there's one really smart
5:40
or on Queens. Steve.
5:43
All right. Well this seems like there's a
5:45
bomb so we should go and make sure it doesn't kill everybody.
5:53
Some days, he just can't get rid of a bomb or four.
5:57
So things like II should probably go downstairs.
6:00
I need to sit down. You guys need anything?
6:02
No, but here, I'm going to toss my extra revolver or my extra.
6:07
I mm depending o ping keeps complaining about their head
6:11
hurting. Can I take a look at their head?
6:15
Yeah, you look at the back of their head and you see they've
6:16
got a bruise across the back of their head.
6:18
I'll carry that answer. And it's in the shape of a
6:21
knockout truncheon. We should put some ice on the
6:23
back of your head. Yeah.
6:25
Good idea. Probably shouldn't sleep.
6:26
Yeah, that's what. Thinking as well.
6:28
Okay, you need some uppers. I'd love some, okay.
6:31
Oh, the synth, Coco 8 and I said, Cooks already bent it,
6:33
done. I have enough drugs in my
6:35
personal because Remy did it? Okay.
6:39
Well, if you got anything, I mean, can't hurt all I gots a
6:41
joint, that's not gonna help. No, I don't need that.
6:44
I have some caffeine pills and my bag.
6:46
Oh, actually, yeah. That would be nice.
6:48
Thank you. Well, I could go ask for some
6:51
whiskey downstairs, for why it's terrible.
6:54
I like I said to myself, Jeb. We have a bomb to deal with, and
7:00
this will get everyone's mind a little lubricated, so we can get
7:04
things going. Doesn't it say that they've let
7:07
the fuse? It does get the fuck back in the
7:10
van. Okay.
7:12
Then do gets back in the van and ping goes into crystals by joy
7:14
and closes the door behind them. Stranger goes up towards the
7:17
door and start smoking a cigarette.
7:19
Drops it on the ground. I mean, so good.
7:23
Good luck. Yeah, bruh.
7:24
Stop, you got jabber. You.
7:26
Are you in the car yet? Stop.
7:27
Yep. Okay otherwise I'm driving so no
7:30
I'm draft, don't worry anywhere else.
7:33
First of all, you guys try it out of night
7:55
City towards the Badlands. You head towards the shack where
8:00
essentially Adventure began, when you come up to the shack,
8:04
Corrine around in a nice curve as the dust Billows and then
8:08
settles down. You see the shack?
8:11
All of its windows are boarded up with metal plates and it's
8:15
eerily, quiet out here in the desert.
8:18
So, who's going to go knock on the door?
8:21
What time is it? It's like it's dark.
8:24
So it's like 10:00 on a night. It's Halloween night.
8:27
Out. No, we're just in our costumes.
8:31
What does the moon look like full?
8:33
That's a bad Omen. This is all a bad Omen.
8:36
Very bad Omen. I guess it's time to trick or
8:40
treat. You want to knock on the door
8:42
and say trick or treat? Oh, and they open it, then you
8:46
can give him now, right? I'll do it.
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Thank you. So, Jeb, walks over, still
8:51
dressed as Davy Crockett. I'm just gonna aim for that door
8:55
with my rifle trick or treat. Jeb, you had no onset but I want
8:59
you to roll a perception. Check 21, nice.
9:03
I bet the door has been welded shut France.
9:08
This thing ain't opening. Even if it you know, if someone
9:11
were home as well but should I will go walk around and see if
9:16
there's another entrance. Yeah Romy a perception check.
9:19
Sixteen as you're walking around the building, you see footprints
9:23
on the ground. You start to hear a groaning on
9:25
the other side of the building and they're in the murky water.
9:29
You see Ripples and out onto the sand.
9:34
It starts to pull itself out of the water mutated plants pieces
9:39
of dust and dirty water fall off.
9:41
This figure as it comes up through the water there, in
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front of you, is one of the Abominations, swapping is out
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here in the Badlands. They've been wondering for a
9:51
while. Zombies, Ali wouldn't be
9:54
Halloween if it weren't for zombies, I guess, Lock and Load.
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And the three of them come out of the water towards USANA.
10:02
It's dark. You can't really see them super
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well and one of them goes around the building towards Vanna
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White. The other to come towards you,
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I'll get out my flame sword and all activated lighting up the
10:19
area around so I can see these things more clearly and I will
10:23
shout Abominations. I'm going to pull the
10:30
flamethrower out of the back of the oven away.
10:33
Excellent. And now it's time to roll for
10:36
initiative. The Sano and retro show is
10:46
recorded in front of a live studio audience.
10:49
Join Sano and retro. The oddest couple in night City
10:53
exclusively on our patreon at patreon.com forward slash no.
10:59
Latency is my bed made. Microwave isn't working can you
11:06
talk to it? What will these to get up to
11:08
next? I don't know why you keep
11:10
sticking your Finger in that part.
11:11
That's not a bowling ball. Oh God.
11:23
So you got three zombies coming towards you from the water
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Abominations, Abominations, they're not, they're not
11:28
zombies. Since, when do we do is Jim
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takes out his grappling gun and it takes a name for the top of
11:36
the roof there. So we can get some height
11:38
advantage on these ghouls. Sick, role Athletics, sounds
11:44
good. You got a bonus for the
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grappling hook but it can't attach the roof.
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Because you rolled a - you rolled a one who so it clangs
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off the top of the roof and you aren't able to get on the roof
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and in doing so, it seemed that I have that.
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The grappling gun was ineffective.
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Holster that while unholster and my Granddaddy's, Colt 45, bang
12:12
bang. I did that twice, but I didn't
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mean to. Yeah.
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But both of those hit with a 25 and the For you, get to combine
12:19
the damage of 17, nice. And you hit the Abomination on
12:28
the, right? So we've got an Abomination on
12:31
the right, one, in the middle, and one on the left, the one,
12:33
our rights, come around the building and comes towards Jet,
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and it takes 17 damage, which is more than Harvard Health.
12:38
Thank you, for the Clue. The clue that it's more than
12:42
halfway down. Oh yes, quite yes.
12:45
So it takes more than half of its house in one of its arms
12:47
blows off from flies The water. Nice Wendell sees that it's
12:52
like, that's a cool move van Del's gonna pull out their short
12:56
sword and use their leg, boost to jump up onto the back of one
13:02
of them. And slit the back of its neck,
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tighten style SEC, 12 is good enough to cause some damage is
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Vandal attacking the one. That's already damaged.
13:12
Van, Del's, probably going to go for the biggest one.
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All right, and they jumped on top of the big one.
13:17
Yes, right there. Cause 12 damage and it's screams
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in agony but it's still alive. And it grabs the short-sword and
13:25
throws it across the ground and it sticks into the ground and
13:28
our vendors on top without short sort of.
13:30
Okay. They're holding on to the back
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of its neck flaps. Yeah, these are gooey from the
13:37
water. Well I will attack.
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There's two in front of me. Yes I will attack one of them in
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front of me. Let's mice.
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Ward 5 ruin those zombies are weak to fire.
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Everyone knows I'll bees are weak to fire.
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You rolled a 23, your heat blade cuts through the Abomination on
14:04
the left and it falls to the ground into pieces as you cleave
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it into weak to fire. Guns, fire does double damage?
14:13
That's exactly itself. I knew it, I believe we attack.
14:18
The other one here, all is 17, the Big Bite Abomination is a
14:23
little thicker. You managed to cut through, one
14:25
of its arms. How much damage do you do 12
14:29
damage Team 13 damage? Nice.
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The Big Bite Abomination. Takes more than half health and
14:35
it's arm comes clean off. You've cut its arm off and it
14:38
now can't defend with that arm and it's screaming and trying to
14:42
throw vendor laughs its back. And then it would have been
14:49
Abomination. One Stern, but you just killed
14:51
it. I am still on.
14:55
Ran away. Holding protection on door.
14:59
Do I see any of these Abominations from Vanna White?
15:02
You can see them in the distance for the pretty far away.
15:04
Like how far away like about 100 feet or more?
15:08
I worked out better for me. I will fire at whatever.
15:12
Is the biggest one I'm going to be surgically precise with my
15:16
grouping. That's a 28 crits.
15:19
My dude tell me the cool way you kill that.
15:22
You can involve end. LF you want, then do also I
15:25
think has a very good knowledge of these creatures as well.
15:29
I would like to do a three per shot through the face of the
15:35
creature, causing its head to crack open and allow Wendell to
15:40
reach inside, ripping out its medulla oblongata, thus causing
15:45
all cortex motor functions to to fall apart once.
15:48
Completely ripped out, gross. It's a newly good.
15:50
What else we expect? Are we going, you shoot, and it
15:53
goes through the head, the head splits open and they pull the
15:57
stuff out of their head. And the whole thing falls to the
16:04
ground and been dealt lands on their one.
16:06
Cool leg pirouettes. And then put the other foot
16:09
down. Nice.
16:10
That was an awesome kill you dead.
16:11
You helped retro are for I'm good at helping.
16:15
You are good at helping and fine if there's a bomb.
16:20
Oh yeah. This bump the still one zombie
16:21
left is abomination Nation. Mmm.
16:28
I run over to the the last Abomination with the
16:34
flamethrower. Okay.
16:36
Thirteen's enough because you went over to it because that's
16:39
over. That's between like 6 and 12
16:41
yards. That's fine.
16:42
You just hit it with the flamethrower and you set some of
16:45
the water behind it on fire in the fire Cascades across.
16:48
The top of the water is, there's a bit of fuel and this
16:51
Abomination is on fire, as it was sort of runs around.
16:53
Like an incredibly terrible Man on Fire and runs into the water
16:57
screaming. It's too late as it dies halfway
16:59
in the water and just flops down Dead.
17:01
Starts floating Down street and they're all dead.
17:05
Damn. All right, we have to get into
17:06
the shack. Wait, is that going to be okay
17:08
for the environment? That's where they came from.
17:10
Oh, it's been screwed for a while, now-like.
17:12
We're going to be all right. That's why the rivers on fire
17:15
has been for 13 years. Yeah.
17:17
And we've just added to it doesn't make me feel any better.
17:19
But okay. Is there another entrance in the
17:23
shack there is access probably through the roof chimney or you
17:27
could try and pry open the door. Use the fire sword and cut a
17:29
hole through the wall by. I will use my fire started.
17:33
Hold to the dope role for it. Unless it was my idea is all
17:39
yours turn away. Anyone you cut cleanly through
17:42
the metal since your sword is so hot at this point and the piece
17:45
of metal clanging down to the ground and as it hits the
17:48
ground, you can see light pulsing from the basement door
17:53
of the Trap, the trap door, right?
17:55
Yes. There's a Sceptre in the middle,
17:56
is it open? Know it, but you can see light
17:58
ebbing from the site. I open it.
18:00
Mmm, it's open and down. Are you can see in the middle of
18:04
the room is a large bomb attached to a vending machine,
18:09
what? And it's got nuclear symbols on
18:11
it and it's ticking down. Oh no.
18:15
Oh, can I go back through my memory files to see if I
18:19
remember anything about what this bomb is?
18:21
Yes, you have 15 minutes. Well, education.
18:25
It's a repurposed dirty bomb. It'll probably cause a lot of
18:28
radiation damage and this building will not exist and
18:31
neither will a vending machine. And neither will Of you.
18:33
If you're within a few miles, the very localized nuclear
18:36
explosion, but it's designed to destroy it, would create kind of
18:40
a crater. Yeah, this wouldn't affect the
18:42
city though, right. It would in fact route in and
18:44
out of the city, probably have some little bit of Fallout and
18:47
it's so weird. I don't understand why this
18:49
person is doing this. What is it possibly gain?
18:52
This was their idea of some sort of sick joke.
18:56
They get their Jimmy's off all this, I think so Justin, what
19:00
are we gonna do? You top down, we need you to be
19:04
very careful, Sano because this is a very well armored bomb need
19:10
you to cut that armor. Plating off which soared
19:14
delicately, okay. I will put my heat blade into
19:21
this nuclear bomb to cut off the heat plating Shield.
19:28
As you said they do you say the Heat playing field?
19:31
What did you say one? I just an armored plating, I'm
19:36
plating. Sorry I've ever DM instead, and
19:38
I was like, oh, did I miss that? No, there's some sealed.
19:44
They're all just roll the weapon and the weapon who 18?
19:49
Nice. Yeah, you cleanly, cut off all
19:51
the armor on the outside and you expose the inner mechanism.
19:54
And you can see the nuclear charge swirling inside of a
19:57
glass tube. That's not good.
19:59
What do you do? I do not know know how to
20:04
silence retro. This is all on you.
20:07
I'm not good Under Pressure, the pressure.
20:14
It's only a nuclear device that will kill us all.
20:16
Thanks we need to start a vending machine as well.
20:20
The vending machine we need to keep up that you've got this
20:24
small area and saying I on but I was being sincere, but sorry,
20:29
did not feel it. Let me take up some of my aunt,
20:32
my acting Since you have got this, I mean, okay, okay.
20:40
How was that? So, no, I did.
20:42
You believe that one? Yeah, that was pretty good.
20:44
Yes, great. Thank you.
20:48
I'm going to carefully start to go into the bomb, and then stop
20:54
realizing that. It's very cold on the inside.
20:58
And I'm going to turn to I'm gonna go.
21:00
Iona, you have any Hairspray. Pray in your bag.
21:05
Yes, I do. Let me borrow that.
21:08
Okay, it's a little travel sized hairspray, 3 oz going to spray
21:15
it on the inside and you're going to see a bunch of hidden
21:20
laser beams, on the inside. That pretty much almost cover
21:27
the entire block of the triggering mechanism.
21:29
And right before the trigger mechanism, I'm I was like I got
21:33
to find something that's not metal to go in there and I
21:36
remember suddenly and I pull out the joint from my pocket and
21:42
stick it right in between those lasers before the firing pin
21:47
goes off. And the joint stops it from
21:51
going off causing the bomb to effectively be to be desired
21:56
because it can't go off. And I able to then disarm
22:00
cutting the wires in the proper way Metro cheese.
22:03
Just some of them by Rolling 25 and then using a joint to do it.
22:07
Yeah it detaches from the vending machine and falls to the
22:10
ground and then Powers down. And you see that the particles
22:14
that were going to be part of the nuclear energy, Slow Down,
22:16
slow down, dissipate in the canister and the whole thing
22:19
becomes a net. I'm going to take the half of
22:21
looks like that didn't get crushed and I'm going to light
22:24
that up now. Wouldn't that be in your good?
22:27
That was a little extra kick, ain't no big deal.
22:36
Your battery. Now one of the one of the pieces
22:40
in the bomb, has a label on it for a bathroom, a biotechnical
22:46
bathroom in building 94. Jesus, man, where the hell is
22:54
this? Jay person is selling 94, the
22:57
building I work in. Yes, well, I'm starting to think
23:02
this person might be Related to you.
23:04
Iona, I also think that in your job maybe I haven't showed this
23:10
to you. There is someone at my work who
23:18
is trying to take me down. I told you this when we looked
23:23
in his safety deposit box, there was this and I show them the
23:28
arisaka badge. Is he working for arisaka this?
23:33
Done is a outdated badge so it's he used to work for arisaka
23:42
doesn't mean that he does not still work for arisaka,
23:46
corporate spy, perhaps, but why would he be trying to take me
23:52
down? Specifically does he know
23:54
anything about your involvement was arisaka the vending
23:58
machines, anything? Yes.
24:00
He knows everything. Yes.
24:03
It's bad. I have not been in contact with
24:06
Ted the IT guy but he should be giving me information about all
24:13
of the encrypted messages. That mr.
24:17
Smith has been sending back and forth from his email and his
24:23
computer in yielding 94. Yes.
24:27
And I imagine we get that email tomorrow because Halloween's a
24:30
Sunday night and it's a holiday is on Nashville.
24:33
It's a national that nobody's working today.
24:35
Yeah, yeah, yes. Okay.
24:42
Well, it's disturbing that this person knows everything.
24:46
But what's more disturbing is that what he did with this
24:49
knowledge is make us run around on Halloween defusing bombs
24:53
without friends. It might not be him in
24:56
particular, his name isn't Jay and he doesn't sound like those
25:00
recordings. This is Jay Smith, it is not.
25:03
Jay Smith and there, but it is possible that he helped or gave
25:09
information to somebody else who does not like us and knows what
25:12
we're doing. So he hired someone to do this
25:18
or someone height. Someone bought the information
25:21
off of him or something. Remi, is there any way you can
25:26
track the anything about this bomb of like where it came from
25:31
and who made it or anything like this?
25:33
This. Yeah, one second.
25:39
Oh my goodness. All right, you deserve that?
25:44
Do you just a fused a nuclear bomb?
25:49
Okay, with your 23, in electronics, security Tech, you
25:55
find the name of the entity that ordered some of the parts for
25:58
this device. And it says gesture in one of
26:02
them, and the other one references, a bathroom again.
26:06
Inside of building 94 is an invoice chest.
26:09
I do. Don't know, gesture.
26:11
Do any of us know chest and I'll do you know, a Jester who works
26:15
in our building. No.
26:18
Actually. And frankly that's weird because
26:20
I think I keep tabs on everyone because you told me to can I
26:23
look it up in the database on my tile?
26:25
Yes. Do I know what it was from their
26:28
soccer name? Just know.
26:30
I'm gonna order something off the vending machine because I'm
26:33
hungry. And you know, gesture starts
26:39
with a jacket that is true and jesters are normally known for
26:45
their hilarious Antics. That is also true.
26:48
Jeb. I give a knowing look to sauna
26:51
Dr. Helps this gesture person is our J Mendel claps it off words.
27:01
That's genius. Jebel Skies.
27:03
Thank you. Thank you, Rich, Gracia.
27:06
I knew I knew. I would get it eventually and I
27:09
did I did. I'm sending machine District
27:12
that distributes? You a Twinkie, mr.
27:15
Pretty old. It's very old house forever.
27:19
Hmm, did I don't find anything in the database just employee
27:23
employee database. You found out that there is no
27:27
one who works in the building called gesture as a last or
27:29
first name. It is the name of a sanitary
27:33
contractor. For soap, dispensers, and towels
27:37
and stuff. It's a janitor, it's a weird
27:40
name for sanitary contractor because they put a smile on your
27:45
face. Well, I guess he's tired of
27:46
putting up with our shit. I see what you did there gum
27:52
tissue this very good, very good.
27:55
So the hired has sanitation contractor for your bathroom.
28:01
Yes, I'm sorry. Do you expect biotechnical
28:04
employees It was that? No, I just don't know how that
28:08
relates to us, I don't know. I don't, I do not know and
28:11
what's its sanitation Place doing making nuclear bombs.
28:17
These are all things that I cannot answer.
28:19
I do. I do not know how these strings
28:22
attached. Should we go to building 94 in
28:25
that bathroom? Yeah, right now.
28:29
That would make sense. There will be anyone.
28:30
There it is. A Federal holiday.
28:32
Yeah, it's causing you some tea. The sure the vending machine up
28:36
into the vehicle. And yeah, yeah, let's let's do
28:39
it. We taking this nuclear battery
28:41
with us, seems dangerous. Um, but if we hook it up to
28:45
Vanna White, maybe we can power her for well, the foreseeable
28:51
future. I'm too high right now, but that
28:54
sounds like a good idea when I'm not does not sound.
28:57
How can you do exact? Let's go.
28:59
How can a nuclear bomb. Does not sound like a good idea,
29:02
but I do not think we should leave it here.
29:05
So let's take it back to no leniency.
29:08
All right, all right, we're just going to take the nuclear part.
29:11
We can leave all the explosives shit.
29:13
Here I'm fine. Oh God.
29:15
Okay. So the vending machine and the
29:18
nuclear part, do you hold that out of the shack dragon on top
29:22
of the Vanna White where you headed?
29:25
Let's chop the, let's drop this stuff off first and then go to
29:30
the before you shoot past no light.
29:34
Nancy drop off the vending machine.
29:36
Stranger still outside smoking. All right.
29:39
Oh shit, that was fast, surprise funding machine.
29:43
That a Twinkie one. Yeah, no shit.
29:45
Still good. Only to think he's eighty
29:48
percent, preservatives, 20% lard.
29:51
Oh yeah, 100%. Delicious delicious indeed, chip
29:56
gross. All right.
29:57
Well you guys look like you're off somewhere.
30:00
Yes. Please take this stuff off of
30:01
our hands. This is a this Is a nuclear bomb
30:09
only well, it ain't bomb no more.
30:11
There's joint it. There is half a joint in it.
30:14
It's tucked in the triggering mechanism so just keep getting
30:17
better and better. Okay be careful.
30:19
Please slides. The vending machine over to
30:21
Vanna White space in the alley and stands there and pushes a
30:24
button and the space descends into the ground at think it's
30:26
covered disappears. It's a fuck there's that's a new
30:32
addition that's super cool. They took that I want me, but
30:37
that's really cool. Bob and Hilda, I've been up to a
30:41
lot of work, who else water, who knows what else they don't, all
30:45
right, to the bathroom, to the bathroom, any good Halloween
30:49
party ends, you're all dressed in your Gala.
30:52
You see people running through the streets and knocking on
30:54
businesses and sticking them up for for trick-or-treating.
30:58
You get to building 94 and it's dark.
31:01
A whole building is in front of you.
31:02
It's pretty tall, four or five stories high.
31:04
This is where I where I own a Books and the bathroom is room
31:09
17 and the second floor. All right, entered own.
31:12
Yes, this has been a very long night and they wish to go back
31:15
to sleep. So let's check this out and be
31:18
done with this. Yeah.
31:20
So how do you get inside? Boo.
31:21
Boo, I scan. My eyes, scan my tile to get
31:25
into the building Romy bureaucracy, so you don't leave
31:28
a trace. I mean it's not strange for me
31:31
to be in my building. It's a national holiday.
31:34
Why would you Also rolled at 20 so you managed to 0 anyway.
31:39
So no one knows you're here anyway, you might sneak into the
31:41
lobby and the elevators in front of you as the security in this
31:45
situation, their guards around not to national holiday.
31:50
There's nothing in this building.
31:51
No cars. What is no product in this
31:54
building. There's none.
31:55
It's just hard. So yeah guys have to work on
31:57
this shit is literally server rooms and computers 10 by be
32:01
here actually. I do suspect you might live
32:05
here. Oh yeah.
32:09
He is a, he is an, IT guy tipping is building schools
32:14
little don't want to interact with those people.
32:17
You guys get in the elevator and head up.
32:18
Yes, the elevator up and it comes to the second floor.
32:23
When it opens, you hear music playing on the left from Ted's
32:28
office and on the right is where the bathroom is in room.
32:33
See, I'm going to point them towards the bathroom and I'm
32:37
going to head in and just like knock on Ted store for him
32:45
because I know the doors stuck a little bit.
32:47
Hey here, I'm doing maintenance. I know it's a day off but I sign
32:53
the paperwork so they won't. I don't live here.
32:55
Hi Ted. It's Iona.
32:58
Oh I didn't your hair is different.
32:59
I didn't recognize. Oh yeah they I got rid of the
33:02
green eye. It was for Halloween thing, it's
33:05
brown right now. Yes, Brown is very nice.
33:09
It's to match that ostrich. Get up that I have going on
33:12
right now. It doesn't matter.
33:15
I like it. Thank you.
33:17
I'm in the office today and I know that.
33:20
That's weird. It's weird for me to be here to.
33:24
I don't live here. Um, I need your help at any
33:28
anything for you. That's cool.
33:30
I would like, for you to come Go with me to the bathroom.
33:35
Really? Yes.
33:39
Okay, going to be honest, no one's ever asked me to come to
33:42
birth bathroom before I don't think that even needs persuasion
33:44
check. Let's go great and I probably do
33:49
that. There was 17 he follows you too
33:52
far through 17 and everybody's there and everyone's it.
33:55
Oh, there's a party instead. Wearing a costume.
33:58
Yes, Ted is dressed like a biotechnical Abomination.
34:01
That is so cute. I love him so much.
34:04
Oh my gosh. No no no, it's fine.
34:11
Oh God my hand rests on my gun. Everyone, this is Ted little.
34:17
Ted, this is Jeb now. Di Sotto.
34:23
Why are you telling him all over names?
34:25
Funny because I trust him unless I turn and I look inside Does
34:31
that really do you know gesture? You mean the paper towel
34:35
dispenser? Yes, I mean, yes, I show him the
34:40
Chip And then I show him all of the notes that we got, you know,
34:45
you've being very trusting of this personally shit.
34:48
Um, oh no rice, okey. So you remember when you said
34:55
you needed the data from the man.
34:58
Yes, right. Well, Got it all.
35:02
Uh-huh. And like all of his information
35:04
and I needed to hide it. So I hid it in the data, part of
35:07
the paper dispenser in the bathroom, it had an assistant
35:11
CIA unit to doesn't dispense more than one and so I was
35:14
enough space so I thought I should save it there.
35:19
What our mind blown? Oh I mean if we can we go in the
35:27
bathroom. Yes right here.
35:31
There's a bathroom in the paper dispenser is throwing paper,
35:33
towels out onto the floor. Rice is, are you telling me that
35:39
we diffused a nuclear bomb created by a paper towel
35:44
dispenser? Well, it had a lot of access
35:46
after I put their data in it and, you know, that there's a
35:49
basically, I in there, and it seemed kind of pissed off, it
35:52
may have read everything and got an opinion, Monica accident.
35:56
It happens all the time. Well, it's illegal, I didn't
36:00
mean, That doesn't make it not illegal well, it's kind of a
36:05
kind of a trick in it because of the treating, I'm sorry, if this
36:10
is kind of my fault, I feel really bad.
36:13
You should. How did it paper towel
36:15
dispenser? Do all of this, it throws a
36:17
paper towel at your face. You get on a gun.
36:20
Well, that's rude. I pointed.
36:23
So let's wait. Wait, wait, wait, Ted, can you
36:27
extract the data from the day? A I like I understand that we're
36:32
still going to have to destroy it.
36:34
So now we're sober enough to destroy it, but that day the
36:40
gesture company has their own robots as part of their delivery
36:43
system. I'm sure he hacked his way into
36:44
that. And then, I mean, all their
36:47
vehicles are powered by like a small nuclear charge because
36:50
then they don't have to feel the most people pay have nuclear
36:52
trucks. Well the only for the garbage
36:55
trucks you know. Wow Jeepers.
36:58
Apparently a scale that's Annoying.
37:01
Right throwing paper towels at us.
37:04
Oh, Jesus. Okay, we you bastard, what does
37:09
it ever run out? Well, it actually like three.
37:12
If I mean in a, in a few days. Yes days.
37:16
But it's crazy hopper in the world, instead instead,
37:19
extracting the data. Yeah, he's trying to us, I'm
37:23
going to rule for that. This is so terrible for the
37:25
environment. He extracts the data on a little
37:28
chip and goes. All right, I got it.
37:31
So you created a rogue AI with all the information on it.
37:39
It was a bunch of this is like printed out.
37:41
On my fridge or paper towel, it's time to Sister Sister.
37:50
It decided it hated us and then made it elaborate Joker, Riddler
37:57
style scheme, based on this. It's knowledge of online pop
38:03
culture know it. Yes, I suppose, let me get this
38:08
straight. So this paper towel dispenser
38:11
was fed all the information about us.
38:14
And with that information, it deemed that we are a nuisance
38:19
and should be killed you. Yes, because the information is
38:24
from mr. Smith's emails.
38:28
And so also changing us in a negative light, okay?
38:31
Because I was gonna say, I think we're doing.
38:32
All right. I also came from doing all
38:35
radiation but we do need to destroy this.
38:37
Seems to be - hey pal, that's really racist Fizzles.
38:45
Roll roller weapon for me that's you use thunder and lightning
38:49
Knuckles on the paper. Towel dispenser enrolled at 23.
38:54
How do you fuck up this paper? Towel dispenser this time, right
38:57
now? Now he's so high.
39:00
This is wild. There's this paper towel machine
39:03
is is fuck fucking wild right now because I'm also so high.
39:09
I'm gonna say that it is an embarrassing display of Remy
39:16
trying to punch this machine using his thunder thunder and
39:22
lightning Knuckles. And kind of like some terrible
39:26
wushu. I'm trying to think of it like a
39:31
Vengeance thing where you just kind of punches everything in a
39:34
multiple thing, just constantly just punching all of the paper
39:38
towels in the actually finally gets lucky and just smacks it
39:41
right in using thunder and lightning causing it to explode.
39:46
It's just from the electrical charge.
39:48
The whole thing Fizzles sets on fire and all the paper towels
39:51
start like a fused and it spurts in the panel flies off and
39:55
sticks into the roof. And you just here, Good guy,
40:01
nice. Little puff of smoke and the
40:03
paper towel dispenser has been destroyed.
40:04
Is that dude it everyone dispense Justice.
40:08
You do, that's very good. Is that the end of it?
40:13
I suppose. That's the end of this bit.
40:15
You've got your information and we defeated and AI we you I'm
40:19
not part. I'm I'm an Abomination.
40:22
Who said, yes? If you tell anybody about this,
40:26
I will find where you live and I will murder you in your sleep.
40:31
Okay, it's a good thing about a bathroom because I may have
40:34
soiled myself Sano walks away. It's not what I expected when
40:38
you asked me to come from the bathroom.
40:39
I know thank you for thinking of me.
40:43
Happy Halloween, happy Halloween time, happy Halloween by going
40:50
to bed, and that's why you, make sure.
40:57
You give you have two Factor authentication turned off.
41:01
Yes, it is. Happy Halloween, everybody.
41:07
Silly Halloween Ark. We really had fun with you doing
41:09
here. Yeah, because the scariest thing
41:12
of all Is your data being breached?
41:15
Exactly that's why your VPN sponsors this episode of hashtag
41:23
very funny. Don't let your
41:42
listeners for Joining us this Halloween and we hope that yours
41:45
is full of joy and protect your data.
41:53
I wonder what will happen next time on no latency.
42:09
Next time on Nolan's. I'm going to have until run to
42:18
my apartment and get me some regular clothes.
42:22
I think it's my look and I think I need a makeover.
42:25
It's your TV hat, your TV head is weird.
42:28
No one wants to date a TV head. Oh Jeb there is a full-length
42:31
mirror in here. All right and a saddling take a
42:35
look at myself. This is this is a tricky
42:41
situation because Ted I am very curious as to what could be so
42:44
embarrassing. I Text him you got a duck
42:47
message. Come back to read it.
42:50
We are curious what it is. This is the duck?
42:54
Yes. Yes I'll I will click the doll
42:56
file. I took far too long.
43:03
Good evening everyone. I mr.
43:05
Smith. Thank you for joining us on our
43:41
adventure once again here at no latency.
43:45
Don't forget to follow us on Twitter at no latency pod, check
43:49
out our website at no latency podcast.com and if you'd like to
43:53
support us further, we have a patreon.
43:55
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44:02
thank you to our supporters and even spice up your own
44:06
cyberpunk. Red games at home?
44:08
No matter. ER what level your support.
44:11
Thank you again. So much for listening.
44:13
We literally couldn't do this without you and of course, we'll
44:17
see you next time in night City. Thanks for listening Jim.