Latest / ✨️Aligned and Thriving: For Teachers🌿 / They Don’t Care If You Know, They Care If You Care🥰

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They Don’t Care If You Know, They Care If You Care🥰 · ✨️Aligned and Thriving: For Teachers🌿

• 0:05
  Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Aligned and
• 0:09
  Thriving. Now this is a good one.
• 0:12
  I like the idea of this, and it took a little while to sort of
• 0:16
  make sure I was going to cover all the things I wanted to
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  cover, but this one is called They don't care what you know
• 0:22
  until they know you care. So the theme of this is pretty
• 0:26
  much why relationships are important, and they're really
• 0:31
  the honest curriculum for us. So you can have the absolute
• 0:35
  best Lesson plan in the world, but if a student doesn't feel
• 0:38
  seen, safe or supported, it's not going to land.
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  Because here's the truth, they don't care what you know until
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  they know you care. So maybe you think back to the
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  first time you had those connections with students, the
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  child that you couldn't reach with those lessons, but you
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  broke through when you showed them that they were actually
• 0:59
  seen and you maybe touch base with them.
• 1:01
  I'm thinking about a kid that I know once we made the connection
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  that he rides motorbikes. I ride motorbikes, not really
• 1:08
  anymore, but I did at the time that we could start making those
• 1:11
  connections. And every Monday I talk about
• 1:13
  where we went riding and all those types of things.
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  But then he felt more like I actually cared and I was trying
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  to make a connection. So then he'd try a little bit
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  harder when it came to the class.
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  So why do these relationships matter more than anything?
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  Well, in a 2021 report by the Australian Council for
• 1:31
  Educational Research, so ASA and found a strong teacher student
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  relationship is directly correlated with better academic
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  performance, increased motivation and reduced
• 1:41
  behavioural issues. So really it's a win win.
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  And if you've done anything in relation to John Hady's research
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  with Visible Learning, student teacher relationships have an
• 1:51
  effect size of 0.72, which is far above the average impact.
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  It's huge. And the Harvard Graduate School
• 1:58
  of Education found that students who feel connected to at least
• 2:01
  one adult at school are 60% less likely to experience depression
• 2:06
  and anxiety. So in plain English, the data
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  backs it, and we feel it in our gut.
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  Kids thrive when they are known, heard and valued and they can
• 2:17
  feel it. So you've got to remember that.
• 2:20
  They're going to know and remember how you made them feel.
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  Your students are going to remember that brilliant fraction
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  lesson. Is that what you think?
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  Maybe not. They're going to remember the
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  day that you sat with them at lunch after they had a really
• 2:37
  horrible morning and you actually bothered to check in.
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  That's what they're going to remember.
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  It's not about the soft and fluffy teaching, it's about
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  effective teaching. You can't teach brains that
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  don't feel safe because they're constantly in that fight or
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  flight mode or they're about to flip their lid.
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  If they are not feeling safe and protected, OK.
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  Especially trauma affected students, they need to feel that
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  the classroom is their safe space.
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  Families are more open, more trusting, and more willing to
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  work with you when they know that you're going to be there
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  for their child and not just for the job or for the your ego or
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  anything like that. It's making those connections.
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  And I know I've worked in a couple of tougher schools and
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  the biggest thing for me that made it easier was having
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  relationships with the parents and with the students.
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  And sometimes again, a personal story.
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  So I had a connection with a grandparent of a really tough
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  kid. And that grandparent, they
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  showed a lot of respect. So the child, sorry, showed a
• 3:35
  lot of respect for the grandparent.
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  So I actually went and talked to the grandparents, said, oh, I'm
• 3:39
  having real trouble with this one, blah, blah, blah.
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  And they sort of talked back and said, oh, Nah, tell them this.
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  And so when I went back in, I was like, oh, guess what?
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  I saw your granddad on the weekend.
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  Oh, what? It's like, Yeah.
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  And he told me to tell you this. And then the look on his little
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  face was like, uh oh, I'm in trouble.
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  So the next thing, you know, the rest of the week, he was
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  beautiful. Can you make sure you tell
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  granddad that I was really good and I really liked the lesson on
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  this that we did Like what? And the rest of that year, fine,
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  completely fine, because he had so much respect for that
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  grandparent and that grandparent was so firm, rewarded him every
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  time he had a fantastic week. We'll go for a motorbike ride,
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  we're going to go for a camping trip.
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  That's just what it was like. So I found that connection
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  because I had a relationship, I made the effort to maintain the
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  relationship there and I did what I had to do to make those
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  connections and to make it work. So it was All in all a benefit
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  to everyone really. Sorry.
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  Practical tips, Building relationships without burning
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  yourself, outlook. It doesn't mean that you have to
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  be everyone's best friend. I'm not saying that at all.
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  It just means that you need to be consistent, curious, and just
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  be a human being. You need to learn all of your
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  students names as soon as possible.
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  I know this from changing schools that the first thing I
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  would always try to do is learn as many kids names as physically
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  possible. Especially if I was in a
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  leadership role. I'd be working my way through
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  looking at all the classes trying to figure out and if
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  they've got you know, the photos printed out with the names
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  underneath. Go and look at those.
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  Get to know the faces and the names.
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  I'm not saying they're history OK?
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  I'm not saying create yourself some preconceived ideas.
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  No, you're going in with a fresh set of eyes and you're building
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  a new relationship every year of whether you've had that kid
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  three years in a row. You never know what could have
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  happened between the end of the year and the start of the next
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  one. So please just go in thinking
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  this is a new year, new faces, new class.
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  But learn the names early and often.
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  Then start greeting your students individually as they
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  walk in. Oh, hi.
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  Hey, Sarah, how you going? How was your weekend?
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  We are you at Mum's this weekend?
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  Oh, what'd you do? Oh, that's right.
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  And those little connections. I remember doing bus Judy and
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  there's one little boy that's just really chatty.
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  But I could remember every week something kids told me the week
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  before. So I'd go, oh, last week we were
• 6:00
  talking about Pokémon. Did you get the card that you
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  were going to go shopping for on the weekend?
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  Oh yeah. So it was just much easier
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  because I had that connection and you're actually showing that
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  you're actively listening. And that's what we want our kids
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  to do. So we need to set an example for
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  that. So for me, I would be sharing
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  little bits and pieces about my weekend, what I did.
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  I love starting classes with a question of the day.
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  Not too personal but just enough and limiting to like 1 answer
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  and allowing them to pass if they want to.
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  But then I would make a mental note of who passed so I could go
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  talk to them like 1 to 1 after. But I would always do this in my
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  upper primary classes. And then I did it with early
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  childhood 2, actually. Then I'd ask them a question.
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  So if it was Monday, I would tell me one thing that you did
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  on the weekend. And so most of them sleep.
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  Yeah, I wish I did that. Most of the time I'm like, oh, I
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  played hockey. Oh, I played hockey.
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  They're like, oh, Mr you score a goal.
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  No, no. Pretty well.
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  I know most of the time at this point in time though, I am
• 7:00
  winning against my son. I do have six goals and he has
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  four, so I'll take that. I'm not competitive at all.
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  What are you doing about No, never, but just sharing those
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  favourite things. I talked to them about their
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  favourite foods, all the types of things.
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  But be consistent still with your boundaries and showing
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  compassion like there's a there's a limit, there's a fine
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  line. You're not there to be the best
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  friend that you are there to make a connection.
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  It's like a parent type of relationship.
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  You've got respect for each other, probably a bit more than
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  parents sometimes do with their kids, but you've got that to and
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  fro type of thing. And then you're going to want to
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  communicate with families proactively, not just when
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  there's a problem. Oh my gosh.
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  So obviously I'm a mom and I'm a teacher, so I get both sides.
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  I really want to know when my kids done something great.
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  I don't just want to hear about all the things that they've done
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  wrong. Or if they've done something
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  wrong and they bounce back, then I'd love to hear that because I
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  love to know that this has happened.
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  But it's okay because they bounce back and then this
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  happened. Or if they get completely
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  injured at first aid and then you get the notification to say
• 8:01
  they've hurt themselves. But it's OK, they're OK.
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  It's it's those types of things. So it's not just ringing them
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  every time such and such has done this.
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  So now they're going to be in time out tomorrow.
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  Just so you know what about the good things?
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  We want to hear about that too, Even if they are small and
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  you'll shock yourself sometimes when you've had the same kid out
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  for a few days and then they come back and they've had an
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  awesome day. Like talk them up about that.
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  It's amazing. And show up the same way every
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  day. It's that consistency.
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  It builds a sense of trust because you're not faking it, if
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  that makes sense. Like don't fake trying to build
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  a relationship. And I know that it's hard,
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  especially with some of those kids that are hard to love.
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  Again, probably go back to an episode about learning to love
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  the hard to love kids if you need to work on that.
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  But in saying this, there would be something that you could
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  connect with them on and start building that relationship
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  because at the end of the day, the curriculum is gonna change.
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  OK, Honestly, I've been teaching for over 15 years.
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  Let's just leave it at that. And I've already gone through I
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  think up to 4, four complete curriculum changes.
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  But like the new curriculums gone through not is it 9
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  updates, I don't know what we're up to, but like quite a few.
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  So the curriculums is always going to be changing.
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  It's always going to be something that is fluid.
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  Programmes are going to come and go.
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  But the legacy that you leave as a teacher is the relationships
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  that you build like that is the real magic.
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  You are there safe space. You are their soft place to
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  land. You are the one that sees them
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  when the world doesn't. That's what they'll remember.
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  Especially those kids that are stuck in that trauma cycle.
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  You could be the person that breaks that cycle with them.
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  You could be their shining light.
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  I know many teachers have been that for people.
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  Like a story I've shared with my mom that there was a kid that
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  was repeatedly just in trouble sitting outside her office when
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  she was head of primary, constantly having those
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  conversations but reminding him you can make a different choice.
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  You do not have to be like your parents.
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  You do not have to choose that path.
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  You can choose a better life. If you actually do this, this,
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  this, you can do it. I believe in you.
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  You just need to believe in yourself and you'll get there.
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  And it happens. And I know I've done that for a
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  student, the one who I made a connection with their
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  grandfather, such a better, I should say, such a better kid
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  now, but actually turned out to be a decent human being because
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  I kept saying you've just got to believe in yourself.
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  You do not have to be like your parents.
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  Look at your grandfather. Look at what he's achieved.
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  You don't have to be like your dad.
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  You don't have to be like your mom.
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  You don't have to be like your older brother and sister and do
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  what they're doing. You can choose a new path.
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  They don't tell you and decide your decisions like you get to
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  make up your mind. So if you want to go and do
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  that, you go do that. But if you want to choose a new
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  path, you can do that too. And I just kept going and going
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  going. I actually had that child in
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  grade 6 and then in grade 7, but now absolutely polite and lovely
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  when I run into them in town, like, oh, hello, just beautiful.
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  Because they actually made the choice and they have told me
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  that before. And it's just, it sits with you
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  because you're like, yes, I made a difference.
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  And that's what we're here for, right?
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  We're here for that because they don't care what you know until
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  they know that you care. They're not going to make an
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  effort until they know that you're making an effort.
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  The relationship comes first. It is honestly the real work of
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  our teaching. And they're the lessons, those
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  life lessons. They are how they remember you
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  and remember who you are. So that's what I want to leave
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  you with today, that it's that whole connection.
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  It's your most powerful classroom tool.
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  It all starts with great relationships.
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  And everyone at every single PL will probably tell you that
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  relationships, relationships, relationships.
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  And then you show them respect. They show you respect and you
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  build that connection because your class is a team.
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  You're a team, OK? And you form that with them.
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  So just remember to focus on that first.
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  So I know this one was a short 1 today, but short, impactful and
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  good enough just for a little nibble for you to listen to.
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  But it was important because it's something that you need to
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  remember. So go and have a most, the most
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  amazing day and stay being aligned and thriving.
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  And I will talk to you again soon.
• 12:30
  Bye, guys.