Latest / The Virtual Couch / Julie Lee on Losing Her Sister, Navigating Divorce, Embracing ADHD - Using Humor to Heal

Transcript

Julie Lee on Losing Her Sister, Navigating Divorce, Embracing ADHD - Using Humor to Heal · The Virtual Couch

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  Music.
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  Hey, everybody, welcome to episode 396 of The Virtual Couch.
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  I am your host, Tony Overbay.
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  I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, and let's get to the interview at hand today.
• 0:18
  But I will encourage you to go sign up for my newsletter.
• 0:21
  Please do that.
• 0:22
  We've got a multiple week streak now of newsletters going out, thanks to the social media folks at the YAYA Agency.
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  And we're talking about the different podcasts that are out and upcoming courses.
• 0:35
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• 0:38
  Again, you can go to tonyoverbay.com or you can follow a link in the link tree in the
• 0:42
  show notes and then sign up for that.
• 0:44
  And you'll find out more about upcoming magnetic marriage course, a faith course, the new ADHD
• 0:49
  podcast, waking up to narcissism.
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  There's a lot of things coming up that I can't wait to talk more about.
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  But let's talk about today's podcast. It requires a little bit of a backstory.
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  So if you happen to follow me on Instagram or Facebook, then you might've seen me posting
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  some stories with a dear friend of mine named Julie Lee. And we have recently launched a
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  new podcast called Love ADHD. And think of that as the salutation for a letter. So love
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  comma ADHD. Pretend that you're ADHD, if you're an adult and your ADHD is talking to you.
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  And it may even say something like, sure, it seemed frustrating walking into the garage
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  to get, well, we never quite figured that out, did we? But those shelves really do look
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  amazing and that was a fantastic workout on the treadmill. And let's face it, those rafters
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  really did enjoy being sanded because after all, they're made of wood and you did see
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  an old piece of sandpaper over there. You had to go touch it and rub it around and find
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  something that you could work with. But it is wood after all. Am I right? But overall,
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  I'm just happy to reside in your brain. Love, ADHD. So that's a vibe. And I know that I've
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  been pretty open about my own adult ADHD diagnosis and I can honestly say, as cliche as it is,
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  I could say it's my superpower, but it really has been a blessing to find out more about it.
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  And that it is not something that is wrong with me It just is a thing and then once I've learned about it then really embraced it then it really is the cow go back to
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  The superpower thing I know it's not necessarily a superpower for those around me
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  and I think part of that is it can be helped in the knowledge as well and,
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  Not from a victim standpoint of whelps my ADHD versus that ah, that's how it shows up.
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  Because now that I have the awareness and the knowledge, now I can transcend it.
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  Now I can bring it along with me and I can use it as a force for good.
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  And I know that I also am saying, I've been so open with it,
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  but I noticed at one point that it, I did a two-part podcast series on my own ADHD diagnosis
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  and it was somewhere around episodes 150, I think, maybe 151.
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  So that was at least two years and change into the virtual couch Ta-ra.
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  That I became so open about it. And Julie is 20 years my junior and only recently discovered her
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  diagnosis. And truthfully, whenever we've recorded or simply talked in the past, I just assumed she
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  knew that she already had a diagnosis. But go follow LoveADHD wherever you listen to podcasts,
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  because we already have, there's a trailer up. We have some episodes recorded that will be out on a
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  regular basis. And I think it's going to help a lot of people. I think it's going to help people
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  normalize maybe what they're going through, give them a lot of aha moments because of the things
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  that we didn't know that we didn't know and that are part of ADHD. And I think that it will also
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  help those who love someone with ADHD because I think it can help give perspective. Now, today's
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  episode I think is almost a living, breathing example of ADHD. And I'm going to give you a
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  couple of spoilers as I explain. So last November, Julie was going through a lot, a whole lot. She
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  was going through a divorce and then her sister, who was her best friend, had recently passed away.
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  And that was more than I think anybody should have to take, but she took it all as she often
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  does with a smile and with a lot of laughs. So we decided to record an episode, again,
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  this was last November in 2022, to talk about these challenges in her life. And we were going
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  to talk about using humor to cope and humor to diffuse and humor as a secondary emotion
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  and in a lot of different things. And again, we weren't going to talk anything about her ADHD,
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  even though I would have assumed that she already knew about it and had a diagnosis.
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  But unfortunately, her audio was off in that interview, even to the point where we went
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  through it as carefully as we could trying to bring the audio levels up, but we just
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  couldn't make the volume work.
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  So then we started trading texts and saying, we got to record again.
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  And I would post something on social media and she would send me something and how about
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  recording that episode? And I would see her and I would say, still thinking about recording the episode.
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  And so then she, at one point earlier this year, sent me a text and said, I just got
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  my own ADHD diagnosis.
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  And again, I thought, you're just now figuring this out?
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  So we finally record in early August. And then shortly after we finished literally hitting stop, and I looked at the text thread
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  and it was about three minutes after we hit stop, which means I probably went, I bathroomed
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  and I texted her and I brought gentle awareness to the fact that we need to do a podcast together about the ADHD.
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  And it has been a whirlwind now of logos and songs and trailers and texts and meetings,
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  but it's here and it's good and it's happening.
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  Let me talk about the interview and let me be real and transparent and all those wonderful things.
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  So, knowing that we had recorded this interview in November that I thought was really good
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  and powerful, I did have the transcript.
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  So I had the, because the audio didn't work, but it was there, it was recorded.
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  So I was able to generate the transcript of our episode and I thought it would be hilarious.
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  We tried to read the transcript because machine-generated transcripts are pretty rough, and this one
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  was really rough. So the first part of the podcast, I thought it would be great if we
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  tried to read the transcript because it stepped all over each other and the words were kind
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  of funny, but then in actually listening to it in the editing, not so funny. What I did
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  was I put that at the end of this episode. You're going to get to the end of the interview.
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  It might jump in there a little clunky because I was referring to the poorly executed comedy
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  bit of reading the transcript. So you're just going to hear a little bit of a clunky
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  intro into the actual interview itself. And then at the end of the interview, I'm going
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  to run the Love ADHD trailer. And then after that, if you have fallen asleep or you are
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  absolutely bored or you just want to make sport of a couple of people, hang on and listen
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  to us brutally read a transcript or at least a few minutes of the transcript of an episode
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  gone wrong very, very long ago. So with that said, let's get to my interview with the author
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  of the book, I See You, a podcast host, a motivational speaker, and now my co-host on
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  the podcast. Love, ADHD. Julie Lee.
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  Music.
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  Okay, Julie, it's so good to see you. It's good to see you.
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  I feel bad that we recorded right after a lot of stuff that happened in your life and
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  then the audio went south and then I think we've been trying to find a time to record
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  and then I love, I just have to tell this story, yesterday, I'm in between sessions
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  and I get a text and Julie says, I'm on.
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  And I said, oh my gosh, I've got us down for seven o'clock tomorrow morning.
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  And then I was, oh, should I admit this?
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  I won't say what time it was. Theoretically or hypothetically, I was on a zoom session with a client.
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  So tell me if you can tell that I'm typing Julie Lee right now.
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  Tell me more about tell me more about your mom or dad. That's how you did it because you were I was picturing you being in person texting you're
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  like I'm looking around because I'm like, oh, that would be Yeah, that was that that's a bad therapist.
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  But I felt I and I usually you know, it's funny to the Lord works in mysterious ways,
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  Julie, because normally I put the focus thing on my computer and I don't get texts.
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  I forgot to because I only learned how to do that recently. And then I got your text
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  while I'm in the session. And that's, it was really funny cause I'm, I'm really good at
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  not responding when I see a text that comes through from a friend of mine that's thinking
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  we're doing a podcast right now. I'm about to hear somebody's problems, but I'm glad we're here.
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  I'm glad it's me. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So here we are. We're right here. I did a hilarious joke right before
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  and I text you and said, is it today or tomorrow? And you just said, stop. Can't do that.
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  Not today. today. Okay, it's such a it's such a joy to have you on. Julie and I talked about using humor
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  through difficult times and you were going through a lot at that point, which now here we are. Hey,
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  go back eight months ago and tell me all those exact emotions. But I did realize I needed to
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  get you back on the show before you get so big that you won't even take my calls anymore. Because
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  since that time, I see that you are speaking everywhere and doing everything. And so how
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  are you doing? Tell me about what you're up to as of late.
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  I'm good. I'm in the middle of a big transition. I'm really like, if anyone's watching the
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  YouTube video. Do we? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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  Oh, that's a lot of things. Like we're packing the U-Haul in minus three hours.
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  What do you say? T minus three hours.
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  And moving into my new house in the morning into a townhome. So that's exciting.
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  Last time we talked about, I got divorced a little bit. Well, separated a little over a year ago and then divorced.
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  And so I moved into a basement apartment and just, we've been a little bit of survival mode, me and the kids.
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  Just that different transition for the last year.
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  So buying something just feels like exciting. Okay, good. I love that. I think when we were doing this episode and what I felt so bad
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  about was the divorce was pretty fresh, if I remember right.
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  Yeah, it was finalized by the state beginning of February, but the decision was made like,
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  a year ago last June. So it's been a little bit, but you know, paperwork and things take time.
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  Yeah. Yeah. What was that? I don't know, as somebody that now you're a few months down
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  the road from even the emotions of when we recorded this in November, how different does
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  it feel or what are the emotions that you're feeling now maybe versus then?
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  I think I just feel more energy to do things like okay it's time to get into a stable place.
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  I think honestly I'm a little less self-absorbed as far as I just think when you're going through
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  a lot of crisis it's understandably so it's hard to think a lot about other relationships
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  besides like yourself and your kids.
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  So I feel like I, like anything complicated in my life just fell off and just like I deal with.
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  So I don't think I've been like the greatest friend to people, but luckily I've had so
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  many friends that have been so understanding that it's just been a really sacred time for
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  me and my kids just to make sure we're doing okay.
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  But it's now exciting to see a shift of, I'm like, Oh, I'm going to get some energy back
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  to reach out to other people to think about other people more and just more energy to work on my business.
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  I feel like a lot of my speaking was that luckily I had was all referral based, which
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  is great. That's what you want.
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  But as far as doing very much active marketing, I feel like so much in life just took a back
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  burner so I could focus on what was most important. And there's no regrets there.
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  It's just nice to be, have a little more energy that way.
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  Yeah. Hey, okay. And I so appreciate your, what I miss about that interview and I'll stop saying the one
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  that got away is you are so open and you are so, I know the word vulnerable gets used a
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  a lot, maybe overused in my business, but I appreciate it.
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  And I so wanted people to hear about what your experience was like while you were going through it. And the reason we
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  talked about comedy.
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  In that podcast was you were just trying to find, if I remember right, you were trying to find
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  anything that would just help you just get through the dark parts. So looking back, I do want to know,
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  yeah, what kind of helped or got you through? And then I don't want to say was it as bad as
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  you thought it would be, but just what is that process like of, this is where I realize I answer,
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  I ask about three paragraphs worth of questions. So I'm going to stop right there.
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  I love it. It works for me. I get it. Okay, well, I think it's important context maybe
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  that my sister who's like my best friend in the world also died around the same time.
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  She had cancer for years and I was able to help take care of her. I live like eight minutes
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  from their family. So that was a really special sacred time too. But it was a lot. It was
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  a lot. And I just felt a lot of loss in my life of my spouse relationship and then my
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  best friend relationship just all of a sudden I felt there's a lot of isolation feelings
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  for me and internally. I think that it the divorce was much harder than I realized it
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  would be. I would say it was a lot more challenging and I don't know how you prepare yourself
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  for just a new challenge like that. People can explain it to you. Yeah, it gets better
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  all the things but when you're in it and you're the rubber hits the road it's just it's just
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  a day at a time sometimes. And I'm grateful for the experiences I've had that we've talked
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  about on here, having a susceptibility to anxiety and depression.
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  And now as you and I have texted about an ADHD diagnosis, makes a lot of sense with how this is all probably kind of combined.
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  I've kind of been through some experiences that were like my worst nightmare ever coming true.
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  That I know that it gets better. Like I've seen that process of it get better
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  that I think I had more patience with myself in this new challenge,
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  that it's not gonna be permanent, it's not gonna last forever.
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  But I still needed those people and those reminders that are like, it gets better in a year,
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  you're gonna still do amazing things. Like it's okay to just take a breath
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  and just do what you need to do right now.
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  Hey, so you're saying so many smart things. And first of all, yeah,
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  we gotta make sure we talk about the ADHD because I think that was funny.
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  I wanna go back through our text threads at some point almost,
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  And it's almost I think when you had said Tony, you know, guess what, or I got this ADHD diagnosis or something. I don't
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  know if I texted you back of Oh, you didn't know that, Julie.
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  Is that a.
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  I mean, I don't know now put me on the spot. You're not No, because I had a friend that was like, Oh, good.
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  We're finally Yeah, that has ADHD. Yeah. I brought that up to you before. And at the time, I was like, No.
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  Well, I think that it's funny. I mean, I got my diagnosis at 46. I'm 53 now. And when I did, it was really funny because I
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  was I realized now I didn't talk about it on my podcast till episode 150 or something was two, three years into my podcast
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  journey. But I kept dropping these hints about my, oh, I'm having an ADHD moment or something. And I would have
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  people say, Oh, that's that's really cool that you talk about your ADHD. And I was like, Oh, no, I don't. I'm just saying
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  there are certain things like that. And I can remember one person in particular that just gave me that little sideways
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  head tilt. Oh, okay. Okay, that's fine. So you did kind of have that thought.
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  Yeah, but that's because I think it's a it sounds so cliche, but I think it's a superpower.
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  And when we do talk, you know, it seems like it flows.
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  And I will tell you, when I have a client in my office, that my job always my joke is,
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  if they have ADHD, and I do as well, then I say, Okay, we're getting about a session
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  and a half in in one sessions time.
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  And so that's a that's amazing. It is amazing.
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  Yeah, yeah, it is. And I appreciate the patience we have with each other because of that.
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  So your responses to my texts are the best because it's just, it's all caps.
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  I know you said, you said on one of them, I believe you because you said it in all capitals.
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  Oh my gosh, I don't know if this is funny and we're supposed to be funny on this.
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  So I just remember a couple days after my birthday, you texted me, you're like, happy
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  birthday, but it's actually your fault that you forgot to tell me. Oh, I gaslit you.
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  You did all this gaslighting to me and I'm just watching these texts come in and watching
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  in your brain just go, go, go.
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  And I'm like, this is hilarious. Like, you can blame me for why you didn't remember
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  my birthday, it's actually my fault.
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  Like, just turn in that light switch, that light bulb, right?
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  Like, it's so good. Oh, here we go, here we go. Okay, I found the text thread.
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  Okay, on June 4th, I say, okay, Facebook tells me it's your birthday
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  and then it doesn't. Did I miss it?
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  If it's today, happy birthday. And if you tell me it's tomorrow,
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  can I gaslight you into thinking it's really today so I don't feel bad?
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  Because I hope you're well and you're bringing an insane amount of light
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  into the world and you say, ha ha,
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  and gas lit me and you're killing me.
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  And it was Wednesday, thanks pal. And we need to do our interview again.
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  And I said, no, it wasn't. It was either yesterday or today, I'm pretty sure.
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  And then you're like, stop gaslighting me again.
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  And the light is getting dimmer and it's me. And yeah, that was fun. I enjoyed that.
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  I enjoy that too. There's a good and I love it because I mean our first interview we did together.
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  Yeah. Had this moment right that I talk about my book. Yeah. Like I just love it because I feel
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  like we can be very raw with like I can it's just good we just connect about the therapy patient
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  relationship and all that good stuff and that I think that makes it more comfortable in every
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  emotion to just we've talked on the phone through some really challenging things in my life just as
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  a friend where I'm like I don't need a therapist I just need you to be my friend but that was fun
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  for me. What's that? I said but it is nice to have friends that have some specialized knowledge you
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  know. I know that was because I remember when we were having that conversation I think I was driving
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  down to LA and I remember thinking oh this is refreshing because you were saying hey no tell
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  me what you think what's your opinion and I'm saying oh I'm not programmed to do that I have to
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  ask how you feel about something, but so that was fun to do. I have to point out though this and then
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  I would love to talk about that moment because the way that the last podcast that the one that.
• 17:12
  Will never be found opened was I have had so many funny experiences where I've quoted that section
• 17:19
  of your book with me in it and it turned out I was quoting the wrong thing and I don't remember
• 17:23
  what the story was but my story was pretty cool and then I actually found the book and read that
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  part and it wasn't what I thought it was. But before I get rid of my text threads, on that
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  same birthday thread, I think I said, light bulb, I may allow you to be right because I hadn't pulled
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  up my laptop probably since well, maybe last Wednesday. So maybe Facebook was stuck on
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  Wednesday. So then I was able to say, so it still wasn't my fault. And then you laughed at it, but
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  then you said you are the worst and the best. And I think that's right. That was really nice.
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  It was. You can hear my tone. I think it's like, you're the worst and the best.
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  I know. I thought that was like, that was perfect. But the part in the book, in the moment that we
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  had, which is funny because I remember that first interview, I think about that often because
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  you were sharing a very tender moment, right? Or is this the part was in the book? Or is this
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  Is this the part that I think is in the book that's really not in the book.
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  Don't completely follow your line of thought right now, but I went and relaunched it.
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  Yeah. We were talking about, and this is a long time ago. I mean, I have really long hair and
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  this is a long time ago. And I, we, we, you were talking about the experience as a therapist when
• 18:29
  you're sitting at someone who wants to end their life. And we just, we kind of communicated about
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  me having been on the other side of that. When all bets are off, all hands on deck,
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  nothing matters, but helping you know that we want you here and you're valuable. And just that sacred
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  moment and you as the therapist and me on the receiving end, not in that moment, we're interviewing,
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  having been there myself and having had people do that for me really see me like there's it's just
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  it's something that that is hard to describe, but it's a moment that's sacred and special. And you
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  just realize really quickly what's most important. Okay, so that was a cool moment that wasn't the
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  one where then you said something tender and then I said a funny joke at the wrong time.
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  I'm sure you have. You just kept talking and you were watching me and I'm like crying on
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  on the other screen if you watch the video and you're like,
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  I feel bad. I don't know what to do right now. Okay. Okay. All right. So what's funny is the
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  story that I would tell about it that wasn't actually then in the book was something where
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  you had opened up about something very tender and dear and then I just cracked the joke because I
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  didn't know what to do with the discomfort and then I felt really silly and I've used that before
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  so I've completely made it up it sounds like but I've used it when I go talk about primary and
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  secondary emotion that my primary emotion was I felt I know I wanted to help you and so I'm just
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  just sitting there watching you.
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  So then to cover up primary emotion of, I don't know, vulnerability or feeling like I can't do something,
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  then I turn to secondary emotion of humor and then I crack the joke.
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  And I find that that moment for me, this made up one now apparently,
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  which is cool because you're in the relational frame of mind with that moment,
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  is that I've realized to sit with that primary emotion at times.
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  And I notice sometimes when a client, when things are getting pretty emotional,
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  that my brain immediately goes to jokes and I have to just stay in the moment
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  I'm present because I want to then interject the joke and they're having a moment.
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  And I think that's so natural and normal. I have so many friends that struggle with that and do that.
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  And meanwhile, it's yeah, totally.
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  It's hard to be such a funny person. It's hard to damper that down moment to moment.
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  It's interesting because talking about ADHD, I think that's where I didn't realize
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  not everybody's brain is literally like just going that fast all the time.
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  And I've had a few videos on TikTok where I'm doing this thing now where I just start looking at something
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  and I start just going, train of thought.
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  And it's that, you know, if you ever read the book, the ones to your kids, if you give a mouse a cookie
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  or if you give a moose a muffin or if you give a pig a pancake.
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  And that was my aha moment was reading those to my kids and just saying, man, this is like all of us, huh guys?
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  And kind of getting some blank stares from a couple of the kids and a couple of them going,
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  oh yeah, my wife looking at me funny and realizing this isn't what everybody does.
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  So what's your ADHD look like on the inside?
• 21:15
  So I'm still trying to figure it out. And I'm trying out some meds to see if that helps it because the thought is because we've talked a lot about shame with medicine and that kind of this is kind of the root of that I may not even need the antidepressant maybe getting the ADHD figure out, you know, because you don't have to layer medicines. Why not? Right? Yeah. But I'm also open to if I need it, that's fine, too. But so I've been using some Adderall very low dosage. And I do feel like it's helped. It just I don't know how to describe it. And I'm sure the word is focus, but it's like,
• 21:45
  I feel less cluttered in my brain.
• 21:48
  I call it hope, I really do. I'm less overwhelmed, I'm not as just,
• 21:55
  oh, whatever, it's just I'm just more focused, it turns out, right?
• 22:01
  Really low dose, I may try to up it a little bit and see what that does for me because, just to see.
• 22:06
  But I have felt some effects, I also have cut out caffeine almost.
• 22:10
  I leaned on caffeine so hard, and now we can understand why it made me feel so good
• 22:15
  because it kind of acts like Adderall, but I found caffeine and Adderall together
• 22:19
  is like jittery anxiety, right?
• 22:22
  And you know all this. I know, but it's funny you say this though,
• 22:25
  because I do know that, and this is where I wanted that they weren't gonna be bad
• 22:30
  because it's ideal to not be on them both. Because then I even found,
• 22:33
  I found you can find the data you want to find.
• 22:36
  So of course I did end up digging where I could find the ones,
• 22:38
  well actually, you know, the Ritalin or the Vyvanse can sort of,
• 22:41
  they act on a slightly different synapse of the brain or whatever than caffeine.
• 22:44
  So I was able to prove to myself, see, it's okay. So I can still have both.
• 22:47
  But then that's, what's my point there? And I thought that was funny.
• 22:51
  Yeah. Just had caffeine at lunch and I'm like, okay, I won't take my second dose of Adderall
• 22:54
  because all the caffeine and that'll help me not to focus for the interview with Tony.
• 22:58
  There's all sorts of justifying my birthright.
• 23:00
  You know what's funny though, is that if you, and this is where I'm no doctor,
• 23:03
  except for when people write it on a check and I never correct them,
• 23:05
  because I think that's fascinating.
• 23:07
  But if you really do go research it, what's wild to me is that I could still drink caffeine
• 23:12
  if I'm doing a trip to driving through the desert to Utah and I could still get really sleepy,
• 23:17
  but then the ADHD medication is, there's zero chance that I'm gonna fall asleep.
• 23:22
  And so when you go look at the mechanisms, I mean, it literally turns off this one,
• 23:25
  it's almost like this gate is closed in the brain of the gate to sleepy town.
• 23:29
  And with caffeine, they pad the barrier to it, but you can still drive through it if you want to.
• 23:34
  But then with the, it's so wild. That was one of the things to me where I just thought,
• 23:38
  medication can really be amazing, magical. it's pretty wild. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
• 23:45
  It's exciting. And humor, humor, as we're talking about humor with this humor has helped a lot.
• 23:50
  And you've done a good job of all that ADHD and humor. Like your example of that, I think has
• 23:55
  helped me a lot be like, Oh, I have this cool because I have seen successful people in my
• 24:00
  life who are my favorite people that have learned to adapt with that superpower. Right. And so I'm
• 24:06
  like, it's never, there was never even a thought that it would be shameful to accept the diagnosis,
• 24:11
  which is so interesting. I think someone, I told them I'd gotten diagnosed in a speech as
• 24:16
  a joke or something because I was so scattered and I made some joke about it. And after she's
• 24:21
  like, wow, your sister died, you got divorced and you got diagnosed with ADHD, Julie, I'm so sorry.
• 24:26
  And I just looked at him. I was so confused. I was like, what? Like, how are those three together?
• 24:31
  And then I realized, oh, not everybody feels that way still. And that's okay. But, oh, this has been
• 24:36
  been such a like relief to, it's just more knowledge to understand how I work and then use that to make more impact, you know?
• 24:45
  I mean, that honestly, that is the stuff that just, I don't know, I can hear somebody say your four pillars saved my marriage. I'm like, okay, but when somebody says the normalizing of ADHD, that that warms my heart, because I can't believe now. In hindsight, when I said
• 24:59
  early, it took me 150 episodes, and I did a two-part episode.
• 25:03
  What's hilarious about that is I was it was supposed to be a three-part. So I think I said part one of two, two, or one of
• 25:08
  three, two of three, and I kind of forgot about the third one.
• 25:11
  And then about 100 episodes later than I did episode three of that, which is all it's par for the course, but I really it
• 25:17
  was so liberating to talk about it. And I do I get more feedback from talking about openly talking about ADHD than a lot of
• 25:26
  things that I assume that I would get more feedback about.
• 25:28
  And I just am grateful for that because why did it, yeah, why did it take me so long?
• 25:32
  And my brain would tell me silly stories about, well, I don't want this on my medical record
• 25:36
  in case someday I run to be, you know, to be president.
• 25:38
  And I have zero aspirations to be in politics. So that I was like, oh, that's adorable what my brain was doing with that one.
• 25:46
  Yeah, totally. Well, and my insecurity with it when I did finally get tested is everybody's gonna think
• 25:51
  I don't really have it because everyone says it's overdiagnosed these days.
• 25:55
  How do you really know? I come from just this idea that it's any diagnosis is used as a label
• 26:01
  as an excuse for behavior, things like that. And so I have been met with a little bit of that.
• 26:05
  And I just be like, look, like I'm taking Adderall and it's making me so much happier. Like you can
• 26:09
  call it what you want. You can call it happy syndrome. You can whatever you want. This is.
• 26:15
  And it's making me more productive, but it didn't, I didn't see it for what it was until after I got
• 26:19
  divorced. And I think part of that is just living on my own and not being distracted by other
• 26:25
  problems and things that were going. Living by myself, it really started kicking in because
• 26:30
  I'm a driven go-getter. I'm real good at the hyper-focus, but all of a sudden I was just
• 26:35
  like... And it was actually a guy I was dating, the friend that... And he had been diagnosed
• 26:40
  like a year before that and one day he just said to me he's he just said he was like.
• 26:45
  Have you ever been tested for something? He's like, you're fun.
• 26:48
  You're really fun. You've been tested for something with attention.
• 26:51
  And I was like, nope. Like, I have anxiety and depression susceptibility.
• 26:55
  I talk about that a lot.
• 26:57
  And then my brother has ADHD and we started talking about like adult symptoms in women
• 27:01
  and I was like, oh my gosh, this would make all the sense in the world.
• 27:07
  Right?
• 27:08
  Yeah, yeah. I love what you're saying though, because I think everybody goes through that period
• 27:11
  and I think some get stuck in it, but the therapist in me says everything is an opportunity
• 27:15
  to self-confront and grow.
• 27:16
  And so when somebody is trying to tell me that, oh boy, isn't that stuff bad for you?
• 27:21
  Or I wish I could take a pill or, and I've had to go through all those things
• 27:24
  where that's, I've noticed the shame and then accepted the fact that I really enjoy how I feel.
• 27:30
  And I have to tell you, Julie, I guess neither of us maybe knew we were gonna do
• 27:33
  as much of the ADHD deep dive, but I think this is, right?
• 27:37
  This is fun, but people will often say things like,
• 27:40
  yeah, I don't wanna take medication.
• 27:41
  And then I throw out my emotional baseline theory And I say, okay, if your baseline's low
• 27:45
  and the tools are just out of reach.
• 27:48
  Maybe a medication, whether it's an anti-anxiety or depressant or an ADHD medication
• 27:52
  raises the baseline up enough that now you can interact with the tools you need,
• 27:56
  which will raise your baseline higher.
• 27:57
  And so then if you decide, I wanna get off the medication,
• 28:00
  now you at least know what the tools look like
• 28:02
  and your baseline might take a dip. And again, this is just my theory.
• 28:05
  There's no scientific data behind it.
• 28:07
  But part of that theory as well that I find people say is that,
• 28:10
  but when they get to the point where now that baseline's high, thank you medication,
• 28:15
  and they're using the tools.
• 28:16
  That I feel like that's the part where people realize, why would I not do this?
• 28:19
  I've never felt so alive.
• 28:21
  But then it just shows you even more that when you're down, the stories your brain tells you about the unknown and fear of
• 28:27
  uncertainty is just it's so just trying to keep you with what it knows,
• 28:31
  because what if that doesn't work and what if and what if and yeah.
• 28:35
  It's like you cannot picture it correctly until you experience it.
• 28:39
  You're just like, how's the medicine going to help me? I can tell myself that story,
• 28:43
  but it's going to be like this forever.
• 28:44
  I'm going to live like this. I'll just say. Well, okay. What's funny, Julia, and I appreciate that.
• 28:48
  I think probably 15 minutes ago when I went off on the ADHD tangent, what I was starting
• 28:52
  to ask was when you were in the throes of the divorce early and you were saying, I appreciate
• 28:58
  when you were saying that people are going to say, Hey, you'll get through it and you'll
• 29:00
  get back to this good place.
• 29:02
  And I love those things, but, and I'm not, I don't, I notice now that I find myself often
• 29:07
  wanting the validation of, Hey, you know, I'm a therapist, right?
• 29:09
  Because I say the things like as a therapist, but I think people know that at this point,
• 29:12
  if they're listening to my podcast about therapy.
• 29:15
  Tony's a therapist.
• 29:16
  Right. Okay, guys, Tony's a therapist. Thank you. As a therapist, if I haven't mentioned,
• 29:21
  but that's where I was just telling my wife this last night where I had somebody a couple of days ago come in
• 29:25
  and they really were saying, hey, I do, we've worked together for a while.
• 29:28
  I really want you to just, I need help. I want you to tell me what to do.
• 29:32
  And I feel like, okay, this old bit.
• 29:34
  So I start kind of saying, well, I mean, this is where I think it would help if you did this.
• 29:38
  And they're like, well, yeah, but, yeah, but, but I don't, when I just said to my wife,
• 29:41
  I realized my job, and I get it, and I love it, is to be there with the person going through it with them,
• 29:46
  and what is that like, and what would it look like if,
• 29:49
  that's as close as sometimes we can come to a tool,
• 29:52
  because the people when they're in it, they are just, that baseline's low,
• 29:56
  and I feel like part of the job is just to have somebody there with them to be able to say, I see you,
• 30:02
  which now I wanna tell funny jokes about when I plugged in the transcript of our previous podcast
• 30:08
  into this thing called Portfolio Pals, which is an amazing artificial intelligence program
• 30:12
  that takes up to 150,000 word summaries and then shows a summary of what the transcript was.
• 30:18
  Did you read the first one that I sent you?
• 30:20
  Okay, this is a this is so good. And what we find for Lydia's jokes, so we okay, we are we will leave time. I have a client
• 30:29
  in 17 minutes, and I don't even have to go pee. So I mean, I can go right up till the end. Okay. I'll sacrifice my push ups
• 30:35
  between sessions for you. What's that? I have to go just a little bit. I can I can. I'll be okay. No, you'll be holding it. Julie.
• 30:42
  Okay, here we go. Okay. In the summary. This is what's really funny is it says in a recent interview, Julie Lee spoke with
• 30:49
  Tony about his book, ICU, and it's ICU, intensive care unit.
• 30:53
  And the importance of humor during difficult times. They reminisced about a previous interview where Tony struggled
• 30:58
  to remember a quote from his book. Julie expressed her admiration for Tony's work. I'm digging this, and revealed that
• 31:05
  she had bought multiple copies of his book. Like how cool is that? I'd like artificial intelligence.
• 31:10
  Oh, you're gaslighting again.
• 31:12
  But I've taught the machine to gaslight.
• 31:14
  You've bought copies of my book, but really, I'm just like your supplier. I'm your secretary, actually. And it's your own
• 31:21
  book. You love your own book so much. And I thought this whole time it was mine, but really, it's yours.
• 31:28
  Okay, that's fair. That's fair. And then this thing has a mode where you can click a button that says comedy mode. And then
• 31:33
  it reconfigures the summary and it supposedly is humorous. So the comedy mode says, in a cozy virtual setting, Julie Lee and
• 31:41
  Tony sat on the metaphorical virtual couch. So far, it's hilarious, right? Ready to dive into the realm of Julie's
• 31:47
  award winning bestselling book I see you so that I got that right. How funny is that?
• 31:52
  Funny, though. Oh, it's I've done this a couple times and it just is not funny.
• 31:56
  Then it says as Julie shared anecdotes from her book, Tony struggled to remember a specific quote that resonated with them.
• 32:01
  They both laughed at Tony's scatterbrain moment. Now it's judging me. Realizing that sometimes our memories can play
• 32:07
  tricks on us moving on to the topic of the interview. But Tony and Julie emphasize the use of humor and touching moments to
• 32:11
  create connection with the audience. So then it gets into
• 32:13
  it, but it's not very funny. So we I think we need to be funny. Okay. And I have to mention so much of this I learned from my sister
• 32:25
  watching her die from cancer seriously about having humor. Talk about that.
• 32:28
  Will you talk about that for a minute Julie? Because that part of the interview
• 32:31
  before was really touching and I appreciated that. So yeah, talk about that.
• 32:35
  It's true. Like it's just true. My sister has always been funny. If you think I'm
• 32:39
  funny, my sister is even funnier. So just a matter of fact, no, I'm just kidding.
• 32:43
  No, but really the funniest of us just funny, like abruptly funny about things
• 32:49
  that probably you and I would joke about. And sometimes people are like, this is inappropriate.
• 32:53
  There's a reason I listened to your podcast. And then I was like, oh my gosh, I found my family. Because...
• 32:58
  Like her sweet husband was building her casket and I'm not trying to be flippant about this.
• 33:02
  It's just, this is normal for my family. This happened, right? And she was like, well,
• 33:08
  you got to see if you have the right size. So she got in it and they like took pictures of her in it
• 33:13
  while she's still alive and like peace sign and all these things. Like she just, I would be like,
• 33:18
  I need, I want to tell you something, but I'm not supposed to tell anyone. She's like, Julie,
• 33:21
  I'm literally going to die with it. Tell me everything. Right. That's just, she just, She's awesome.
• 33:26
  And even, I'm like thinking of when she was on hospice and near the end and she's not
• 33:32
  totally in her right mind, there'll be times when my other sisters would come for a shift,
• 33:36
  we'd all switch shifts, and she, they'd be talking to her and she'd think it was me.
• 33:40
  And so she'd say, okay, but what about soda?
• 33:44
  Because I used to bring her soda. I'm like the soda sister, the naughty sister that drinks lots of soda.
• 33:49
  Yeah, okay.
• 33:50
  We didn't drink soda growing up. And so I would always sneak her soda just to help her stay awake.
• 33:55
  We do go on a girl's night and she's like, Oh my gosh, I'm gonna because the drugs, the cancer, everything.
• 33:59
  She's like, we got to pick me up a Dr. Pepper if we're going to have fun tonight, right?
• 34:03
  So even when she's dying, she's like, Oh, where is my soda?
• 34:07
  Just this girl is just funny. And she there's an amazing episode on my podcast that she asked to do called giving up control.
• 34:14
  I think it's episode 80. When she's in the middle of she's, she knows she's going to die.
• 34:20
  And she just talks about giving up control and choosing humor.
• 34:24
  And it's, I listen to it all the time just to hear her voice again, but also to remember
• 34:27
  it in moments for me of, wow, you get to choose how to do this.
• 34:30
  She got to choose how to die from cancer. And I get to choose how to do this living in apartment thing and this speaking thing
• 34:38
  and like I can choose.
• 34:41
  And that's exciting. And so choosing humor is just something that I think has been really healing for me.
• 34:45
  And she was a great example of that.
• 34:46
  Oh, I love that. And I love the story. And I don't know if we talked about it on the last episodes, but that's funny because
• 34:52
  As I've told my wife before, I want a picture in my...
• 34:56
  I don't know if we talk about this. I want a picture in my casket before and waving because I just think,
• 35:00
  Because I love humor and I want to be funny and I want people to turn the corner.
• 35:04
  And they're expecting to see something and they they're met with a picture on an easel of me like waving and smiling
• 35:09
  Because I just I think I just want people to laugh. Wouldn't that be funny?
• 35:13
  Yes. Well, and I just thought as I was packing it was a tender moment, but this was my sister, too
• 35:17
  I found a little note and i'd been really missing her that day So I think there was some definitely divine things going on there that I don't totally understand
• 35:24
  but that's how it felt. And I read the note and it was from like two Christmases ago and she's,
• 35:29
  I love you, sis. I'm going to miss you so much. I'm probably going to haunt you. Like that's just
• 35:34
  how she was. We decided on a thing, a way we communicate, like we decided what our sign was
• 35:39
  before she died when I know it's her. And it's actually happened a few times, which is really.
• 35:45
  I was not talking about it cause I'll start crying, but which is fine. We gotta be funny too.
• 35:49
  But if you cry, I'll tell jokes. We've already established that, right?
• 35:52
  I'm like, that won't faze you. Oh, how dare you.
• 35:57
  But she said, I remember as we were trying to figure out what's our sign,
• 36:01
  what's our code going to be because we're so close in this life,
• 36:04
  so in the next life, and she was like, well, I think it should be like,
• 36:09
  you're going to wake up and walk in the kitchen and all the cupboards are going to be open,
• 36:13
  which is a scene from The Sixth Sense, which is a very dramatic scene. It is.
• 36:17
  As you're driving towards your house, just flashing lights constantly,
• 36:20
  Just like all the stuff and I was like, no, don't hate with me. But that was always the
• 36:25
  joke is just we found something a little different than that. It's a little less
• 36:29
  traumatic for me, luckily, because it has happened sometimes. And it's special. But,
• 36:33
  no, it's beautiful. It's beautiful. And I'm glad we're talking about it. And a couple weeks ago,
• 36:37
  I had Jeff Dickmore and Aurora Florence on and she's the one that sings It's Wonderful at the
• 36:41
  end of all my podcasts. For a second. Yes. Wait, what's that? Just I have had so many people ask
• 36:48
  me if I'm her sister, when she came out in a film, a fairly common film for us, I don't
• 36:55
  know how else to say that, that I had strangers on Facebook messaging me, because I had my
• 37:00
  long brown hair then too, and I got big blue eyes, and I didn't know who this girl was.
• 37:04
  And then I went and saw this film, and I was like, oh, I get it.
• 37:09
  Strangers or people from college that were like, I don't mean to be weird, but is that
• 37:12
  your sister? So anyways, I have special feels for her.
• 37:16
  Okay, so here, take a picture. I'm going to send it to her right now. Here we go. Say cheese. Okay, ready?
• 37:20
  Okay, I want her to know, Aurora will hear this. So I was going to say the movie that they're
• 37:24
  crowdfunding is called Too Soon. And it's about, it's about grief and loss. And I can't wait for
• 37:29
  it. And apparently it's, yeah, two people that meet at the funerals of their spouses, and then,
• 37:34
  get together. And so they said that even this, I think writing the script and putting that together
• 37:38
  is just, it's really funny, because, yeah, like, that'll be amazing. But I will, I will let her
• 37:43
  know this is going to be fun. Hey, there's one other movie that's really good that has a lot
• 37:47
  of humor in it. It's on Amazon Prime and it's called Our Friend. And actually Amy's husband
• 37:52
  is the one that recommended it to me. And you will, you will ball your living eyes out. It is
• 37:57
  so raw and grief and so hard. So you need to be in the mood for it, but it's also so abruptly funny.
• 38:04
  Amazing to watch. It's rated. So do with that what you will. It is just, yeah, it's on a night
• 38:11
  when you just want to have the feels and ugly cry like I've had before. Oh, it's just what the doctor
• 38:17
  ordered. Yep. Okay. I appreciate that. I don't know if I want the ugly cry. So I will do
• 38:22
  with that. So I'll return and report back to you.
• 38:25
  When I come to California, I will watch it with you and Wendy. How about that?
• 38:27
  Okay. Now we're down. Okay. That'd be good. Okay. Okay. So are we ready for the, what
• 38:31
  we did? And I want you to know this is what's this. Yeah. This is what's funny too, is that
• 38:34
  we did a, I think you were the, my original try not to laugh. And then I ended up not
• 38:39
  doing it because I forgot about it. Julie, the ADHD is so funny because you and I doing
• 38:44
  this was hilarious and I did it with a couple other guests and then I completely forgot
• 38:47
  about it. So, do you want to go first or do you want me to go first? I'll go first.
• 38:51
  Hey, wait. Do you remember the jokes I did last time? Yeah, I do. Dang it. It's okay.
• 38:56
  Mine are gonna be so funny. It'll be worth it. I'll be in a laughy mood. I'm gonna look
• 38:59
  very, very serious. And I don't want sympathy laughs. I don't want you to pretend. Oh, I'm gonna, I'm not even feeling laughy right now. What concert
• 39:10
  only costs 45 cents.
• 39:14
  I don't know. 50 cent featuring Nickelback. Oh, I knew I was not going like I know it was gonna be 50 cent but then the
• 39:23
  Nickelback come on. That one that your daughter made up in the coffin. Pun intended. No, I didn't. I heard it. Okay. What,
• 39:33
  is the ducks favorite drug? I don't know. Hey, you know what's And what's even funny about that is Zoom cut out,
• 39:44
  but I knew you said quack.
• 39:46
  Quack. Yeah, and I laughed, and I didn't even hear it. Okay, I have three more. Oh, good.
• 39:52
  These are all made by my daughter, Lydia. I called her about 15 minutes ago,
• 39:57
  and I was like, hey, you're always telling me the funniest jokes,
• 39:59
  and she's like, oh, mom, use the ones I made up, and she reminded me of them.
• 40:03
  So these are. How old is she?
• 40:04
  She's six, she's turning seven next Wednesday.
• 40:07
  Okay, here we go.
• 40:09
  Why was the ketchup walking and the mustard running? Why? He was trying to catch up.
• 40:16
  Oh. Okay. Both of ours have to laugh, she's fine. No, I tried to not, but that was like,
• 40:22
  I call those in my head a groaner. It's like, okay, all right.
• 40:27
  This one's pretty good. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Don't know.
• 40:33
  Where's popcorn? Okay, that is good.
• 40:39
  Where does a cow... This might be my favorite. Where does a cow sit when he's watching TV?
• 40:46
  I don't know. On his couch? Yay!
• 40:50
  She has a future, that kid. Yeah, she does. For sure. She's a prodigy of some.
• 40:56
  Okay. I think that I probably told you these two, though, that they're my favorites.
• 41:00
  So try to not laugh then, okay?
• 41:02
  Julie Lee, try not to laugh.
• 41:04
  I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was a kid.
• 41:11
  Okay, you know what? I didn't hear. If you laugh though, Zoom cut it out. So did you laugh?
• 41:17
  I did. Oh, no. Are we having connection issues? I mean, not really. I think it's something with microphones.
• 41:22
  But the worst joke is so funny right now because it's sad, but it's funny.
• 41:25
  Okay.
• 41:27
  Go ahead. That one makes me laugh. And then this one, I think I used this one. I did. I know I did
• 41:31
  this one. I think I did my three favorite jokes with you the last time. Okay. So this
• 41:34
  is this. Just say no to drugs. But if I'm talking to my drugs, I probably already said
• 41:40
  Yes. Okay. Okay. All right. All right. All right. Okay. Here we go. We got like three
• 41:44
  more minutes. This is just from a whole article of two line jokes. I'll just go I'll run through
• 41:51
  a speed round. I came up with a new word yesterday. Plagiarism. Do you get it?
• 41:56
  No, I got it. It's just not okay. Okay. I for one, like Roman numerals.
• 42:05
  Oh, that's a new slap. You're a good one. Okay. My friend gave me his EpiPen as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I have it.
• 42:13
  This is the one. It took me so long to understand. I was like, oh, dang it.
• 42:18
  Okay. Oh, okay. I'll end with this one. And then do you have more? Are you looking at more?
• 42:23
  No, but I have one. Okay. Yeah, yeah. You end it. This is my last one. You know what they say about cliffhangers?
• 42:29
  What?
• 42:32
  Hey, Tony overbearing on class. Where does the army start over? I'm professional. Where does the king keep his armies up his
• 42:52
  sleeves? Oh, okay. I knew it was gonna be stuff like that. Hey,
• 42:56
  Julie Lee, what a joy. Hopefully the video worked and the audio worked on this. I have three backups going. And some kid in
• 43:03
  the corner over there scribing. Thank you, Connor.
• 43:05
  Thanks, Connor.
• 43:09
  Okay, where can people find you? I mean, around right, the website is Julie Lee speaks
• 43:15
  calm. And that's like the handle for everything YouTube, Instagram, all the places kids play Julie Lee speaks.
• 43:21
  Okay, and then promise to come back on again, and then come out here in person.
• 43:25
  Always, I will. I was so close to you. Oh, I can thank And I was like, I will come for an hour in the middle of the night and come say hi, but
• 43:34
  I know. And when you said that I literally cleared my entire week off, did nothing and sat there
• 43:38
  waiting for you the whole time.
• 43:40
  This is true, but I appreciate the sentiment. This is where I will leave because this one, you're gonna have to go research as well.
• 43:47
  Listeners.
• 43:49
  This one took me a while. Uh, 16 sodium atoms walk into a bar followed by Batman.
• 43:55
  Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Your client can wait.
• 43:58
  Okay. I haven't heard this.
• 44:01
  16 sodium atoms walk into a bar, followed by Batman.
• 44:07
  You have to go, you have to go research it. I'll leave you with that. Text me when you get it. Julie Lee, what a joy.
• 44:12
  16 sodium atoms walk into a bar, followed by Batman.
• 44:19
  Listeners, comment. Text me when you get it, Julie.
• 44:24
  Okay, so I hope that you enjoyed that interview with Julie Lee. Again, please go subscribe to LoveADHD.
• 44:31
  And I'm going to run the trailer right now. And then I will just I will just leave you listening
• 44:38
  to us reading a very, very not as funny as I wanted it to be transcript that carries over
• 44:45
  from the first time we did the interview months and months ago. And then after that,
• 44:49
  taking us out per usual, the wonderful, the talented, the mentioned in this episode,
• 44:52
  Aurora Florence, with her song, It's Wonderful. Thanks, everybody. We'll see you next week on
• 44:56
  the virtual couch. Hey, Julie. Hey, Tony. Do you remember the first time that you came on
• 45:00
  on my podcast and things just kind of clicked. Yeah. Have you ever wondered why? No, not
• 45:06
  really. Okay. How about this? Do you remember when you told me that you've been diagnosed
• 45:10
  with ADHD and I did not act surprised? Yeah, I do. Okay. That's because I, I totally thought
• 45:15
  you already knew that. I can't believe you didn't tell me. That is because I am not your
• 45:19
  therapist. I'm Julie Lee, a keynote speaker, author, and podcaster who specializes in human
• 45:24
  connection and the way it F levels culture. And I've also disclosed that I have ADHD.
• 45:30
  And I'm Tony Overbay, a licensed marriage and family therapist, author, speaker, and a podcast host.
• 45:36
  And I have not only embraced my own adult ADHD diagnosis, but yes, Julie, it has become
• 45:41
  my Cue the Dramatic Music superpower. Join us as we explore the gift of ADHD.
• 45:48
  We're two friends who are two decades apart, one a therapist with ADHD and one who was recently diagnosed.
• 45:54
  Yeah. And tell me more about that, Julie.
• 45:56
  Hey, don't therapize me, Tony. I'm your co-host, not your patient.
• 46:00
  This is our podcast, Love ADHD, a place where genius and scatter meet.
• 46:04
  We're also going to talk about the latest in ADHD research.
• 46:07
  Do I really have ADHD if my parents didn't need a leash for me when we went to Disneyland
• 46:10
  as a kid? Can it suddenly appear in adulthood?
• 46:13
  And what is up with this rejection sensitivity? Is procrastination truly where I thrive?
• 46:18
  Or why do we sometimes find ourselves hyper-focused on something that we really like, and then,
• 46:23
  we can't finish a simple thought if it's something that's very boring?
• 46:26
  If so, you're in the right place because we get it. We're your new best friend.
• 46:31
  Subscribe now to Love ADHD on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Play, Amazon,
• 46:37
  or wherever you listen to your podcasts.
• 46:43
  What I suggested that Julie and I do is I did print up a transcript of the interview that we did, that the audio is lost, so we have not read the transcript yet, but I thought it would probably sound really normal and natural if we read the transcript, and then we can just basically recreate that interview. Are you ready?
• 47:00
  Oh, I love this. So I'm pulling it up too, right?
• 47:03
  Yeah, tell me when you've got it ready. I'm pulling it up.
• 47:06
  Okay. Okay. Julie Lee and Tony Overbay and their roles of a lifetime present to you the original
• 47:11
  interview, which I don't even know the date. Do you remember? I actually do because I had a
• 47:16
  speaking gig that day. It was November 15th. November 15th of 2019. 2022. 2022. Okay.
• 47:25
  That's even funnier. Okay. 2022. And now it is August 10th. Oh my gosh, of 2023. So this,
• 47:33
  So the interview pretended that that's when we're doing this. Okay, here we go. And action. Julie
• 47:39
  Lee. Hey, Tony. Welcome back to the virtual couch. See, I can tell that it didn't really separate the,
• 47:44
  voices of who says what correctly. Where is this? Oh, scroll down a little bit.
• 47:50
  Hey, Tony. Welcome back to the virtual couch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.
• 47:53
  Okay. All right. Take two. So I'm just gonna go with the ones that has my that have my name.
• 47:57
  So even though it, yeah, you're Julie. Okay. Julie Lee. Hey, Tony, welcome back to the virtual couch. Thank you. I'm happy to be here again. Not too long because you were one of my favorite guests. And not just because your award winning best selling book, I see you features a antidote about although that is very important. Hey, do you remember that?
• 48:21
  It's still my lines, huh? You're a chatterbox. Hey, I did. I guess I spoke a lot.
• 48:26
  But I think this feels very natural.
• 48:28
  I don't even know what it says, and I thought it said something else, and we were at a
• 48:32
  I Was Speaking for a Leading Saints event, and you were there, and I was trying to quote
• 48:36
  what you quoted me in the book, and then I couldn't find it, and it turned out to be the wrong thing.
• 48:40
  Mm-hmm. Didn't I?
• 48:43
  Correct you?
• 48:45
  I was like, that's not what it says. Okay, you're a really good actress.
• 48:48
  Actress. I feel like I'm okay now I've got three more paragraphs. I don't know maybe this is a bad
• 48:55
  idea. I'm skipping your lines. I want to talk. Yeah well and we on video that's what I actually
• 49:02
  went back and watched the video interview of it okay which was special. Yeah okay because I think
• 49:07
  I turned to my secondary emotion of humor when we had a very touching moment. Is that what it was?
• 49:12
  No? Okay. Number one, how dare you? This is my show. You did you?
• 49:18
  Did do. Okay. I think what you're thinking of is I found it when we did an episode about
• 49:23
  broccoli puzzle. You couldn't help yourself about some eating so much broccoli.
• 49:28
  Oh, that's your- Oh, self-acceptance. And you're like, okay, but my A, D.
• 49:35
  Does that mean athletic director?
• 49:37
  For sure. That makes sense. Okay. Wow. I, I didn't, I forgot. So I can. Okay. Julie, I think that was a failed experiment.
• 49:46
  That was literally the worst.
• 49:48
  It was!
• 49:49
  Music.