Latest / The Steve Harvey Morning Show / Favorite Traditions, Santa's Schedule, Kwanzaa Comedy, MTH and more.

Transcript

Favorite Traditions, Santa's Schedule, Kwanzaa Comedy, MTH and more. · The Steve Harvey Morning Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Today's show is pre recorded. Y'all know what time y'all
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: don't know y'all back a suit, looking back to back down,
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: giving them just like the million bucks things. And it's
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: not good at Steve to mother sty don't join me.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: You gotta use that turn hur You gotta turn to
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: turn them out. Turn't got to turn them out to
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: turn the water the water go. Come come on your baby,
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: Uh huh, I sure will. Good morning everybody. You're listening
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: to the voice, Come on dig me now, one and
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: only Steve Harvey got a radio show. Well, I gotta
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: tell you something, everybody, And this is great news for
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: everybody that I'm or share something with your principle of
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: becoming successful at whatever level you choose. It can be
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: successful in the relationship, successful in the family. Successes may
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: be considered to you becoming a homeowner. It could be
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: being dead free. Your ideal success could be sixty thousand
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: a year, fifty thousand a year, one hundred thousand dollars
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: a year, doesn't matter if you're considering it, if you're
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: wanting it, if you have a desire to become successful.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: I want to share with you the very beginning of that.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: If no one's ever done it. I'm going to say
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: the beginning of it today. See scripture makes it very
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: clear for us you don't The only thing you need
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: to become successful is already inside of you. It's not
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: an external need. God wouldn't do that to you. He
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: puts the core basis of everything you need inside of you.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: So if you discover it, if you tend to it,
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: nurture it, fertilize it and water it, it grows, it
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: branches out. Then it reaches out externally and it starts
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: grabbing things outside of there to make it even bigger, stronger, better,
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: last longer. But in the very beginning, you don't need anything.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: It's all within you. And if you cultivate your relationship
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: with God, it comes out it flourished. Now, let me
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: tell you that thing that I'm talking about is a
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: God given gift that He has given to all of us.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: We all possess it. It is all within us that
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: everybody has a gift. Had somebody told me what I
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: know now back then, I would have saved myself tons
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: of mistakes. I just didn't know the principles. I had
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: to learn them all well. One of the principles of
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: becoming successful is your mind set. You got to get
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: your mind right now. This mindset is simply a decision
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: that you can make. I can't get it for you.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: I can tell you what to do, but you got
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: to make the decision. You that's listening, have to decide.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: You know what, I'm gonna go on and get at it.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna stop renting. I'm gonna become a homeowner. You
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna stop living check
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: to check. I'm I'm gonna put a budget together. I'm
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: gonna stop stepping out on my family. I'm gonna go home.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna get it together. I'm gonna stop using when
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: you make these decisions, that's correcting your mindset. Now. The
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: closer connection you have with God, the more help you
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: get sustaining the mindset. How many times have you started
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: to do something and you stopped? How many resolutions have
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: you made at the New Year and stop by February?
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: Over by me at January? Done in March? Because if
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: you don't have a clear connection with your creator to
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: help you carry out the other force out there, that
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: evil force is designed to get you not to reach
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: your goals get you not to come to resolution with
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: whatever the resolutions are you made, so he can so
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: you can consider yourself not worthy or failure or unable
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: to do something. But the more things you are able
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: to accomplish, the greater your confidence goals grows. So we
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: got to get your mindset together. Your mindset is a
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: decision that you have to make. When you make the decision,
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: you can begin the process. Your mindset is also a
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: will of yours, a will along with the decision, a will,
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: a willingness to do right, a willingness to change, a
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: willingness to be better. It's going to then cause you
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: to have to make a decision to make a change
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: of direction. Don't go where everybody else going. You got
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: to go your way now. You can't follow the crowd.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: You got to take a less travel path. You cannot
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: do this without changing your direction. You can't keep hanging
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: with the people you've been hanging with if you want
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: to be different because they're not. Then you have to
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: develop an obligation to yourself. You've got to say, you
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: know what for me and my family, or if you
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: don't have a family for me, I owe it to myself.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: I have an obligation to myself to be the best
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: that I can possibly be, To be the best self
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: that I can possibly be, to be the best father,
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: the best man, the best husband, the best wife, the
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: best mother, the best daughter, the best son, the best student,
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: the best employ ye, the best owner. You have an
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: obligation to yourself to give yourself a shot at the
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: best life you can. That's an obligation. You owe that
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: to yourself. Why would you not live the best life
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: that you possibly could. You have an obligation to yourself.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: Why would you teat yourself like that? Why would you
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: take yourself and never allow yourself to see the goodness
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: that's already in you, to have the abundance that's been
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: promised to you, to go and explore all the riches
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: out there that's available to you. And but one of
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: the worst ways that you can rob yourself of the
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: joy of your obligation is to keep comparing yourself to
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: somebody else. Because guess what, Man, that ain't your life.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: You ain't jay Z and Beyonce, you're not You're not
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: Oper Instead, man, that's not who you are. Quit looking
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: around at everybody else. That comparison of everybody else to
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: keep you broken. It'll keep you unhappy. You won't even
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: be able to be grateful for what you have because
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: you steady talking about what you don't have. That's not
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: the way, man. You have an obligation to yourself to
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: be the best you you can be, not the best them.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: You're not them. Stop trying to be them. Be the
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: best you. It's cool. You got a nice little house.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: That's cool. You know how many big houses is empty
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: and feel with hate and resentment. I'd rather have a
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: smaller house feel with joy in it than to go
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: to a big house. Man Prince got a line in
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: a song that says, I realized in its best disguise,
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: or pretty house don't make a home. Man. Don't you
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: know I know how true that is? So I'm just
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: trying to tell you now. Another part of the mindset
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: is taking dead aim at your life's goals and ambitions.
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: What are they? What are your goals and your visions?
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: What do you see for yourself? What do you dream about?
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: If you knew you couldn't fail at whatever it is
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: you were attempting, what would you go attempting? See? That's
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: what we need to be after It's a mindset, y'all.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: It's a decision, it's a will, it's a change of direction.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: It's an obligation to yourself. It's taking dead aim at
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: your life's visions and goals. Come on, man, you got
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: to get your mind wrapped around this thing. You owe
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: it to yourself to live the best life you can be.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: Come on, man, talk to God. God got something for you.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: You just gotta check in with him. You're listening show, ladies, gentlemen, girls, boys, thanks, animals, aliens, everybody.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: I'll talk to one of them. You talk to who
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: a lien? You don't have no a liens? Friends? So
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: go ahead in here. Let me see you get out
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: of this one right here. So what y'all talk about?
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: What y'all talking about? I'm open, I'm opening. It's a
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: good way to start. She'll go ahead talk. Okay, he's
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: from Mars. He's my friend, and he's been talking about
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: how they having Mars quakes. You know we have earthquakes,
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: they have Mars quake. So it's not going on this
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: similarity to what's happening up, then what's happening down? Yeah?
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: I mean it's how you don't have no friends. If
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: I'm not. Don't worry about that. Where'd you see boy
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: come out of house sometime? Boy? Come on, Steve? How
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: does he get to that? You don't remember the friend
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: I used to play with when I was little? Oh,
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: I remember him, Marvin. We don't see him either, but
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: Marvin the March he exists, and you make me show angry.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: I love Mark the Disney carton. Yes see C C. Jake?
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: He got friends? Is anybody inside? I am? Are you?
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: Is that a question? Carlo? Seriously, I'm looking around the
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: room like he's got Martian friends. Yeah, when they show up.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: When they show up, you're gonna need me. See, You're
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: gonna need me because you ain't had nobody to know
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: how to talk to him. That's your problem you need
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: to get. You need somebody like me in your life.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: I got no Martian friends. Fail, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: They show nothing but a helmet with some sneakers shot.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: So now that explains it. Okay, sure that supposed to
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: be my friend. I'm done with her yourself? You do?
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: You got the shout as marshes? How do they look
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: sick just to helmet with some Converse sneakers sticking up
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: on the and set eye offially crazy, I know because
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: I was right now he don't want to laugh. That's
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: how he looked in his football uniform. Okay, when we
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: was little, Tommy got a football uniform and that's how
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: he looked, Marsh. But who's taller, you think, though, Dan,
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: But he just got quiet you oh you him all right?
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: Coming up at thirty two after the hour, something funny
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: you're listening to a right to Steve. Let's talk about
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: some of your favorite Christmas memories, um, you know, and
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: your favorite holiday tradition. I want to ask you, oh
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: like Poe memory. But that was good though, you know
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: what because I didn't know, you know, no different, Yeah,
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: I figured just the way it was right everyone helse,
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: you know, everybody to get a gilt huh. But as
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: you sitting around and thank you for the open multiple packages,
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: just damn gift man. But the tearing off of the
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: wrapping thing, yes, yeah, we're gonna use that paper next year.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: We had, I know, and my mom wrapped like the
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: grocery store wrapped. That was her thing. She wrapped, Oh
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: yes she could. It looked just like it did at
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: the at the department stories. My mom could wrap. Yeah, man, girl,
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: I got easy bank in one year. Oh yes, the
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: Lord with the light with the light wrapped you to
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: knew it? Everything I wrapped with the exact shape or whatever.
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: Dog dog if you if you thought it wasn't truck,
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: that's probably what it was. It was obvious going over
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: under the tree and just feeling on the gift to
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: guess what it was. Man, if I wrapped it, yeah,
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: you knew. Wow, I gotta bowling ball, exactly what it
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: looked like he gave ball. I remember when I got
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: a tape recorder one year. Oh, that was always a
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: good the beginning of my career right there, tape recorder. Yes, oh,
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: I got a staring rewind fast forward, Yes, yes, good
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: good stuff. One of my most frightening Christmas is what's
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: because of that tape recorder right there? Oh yeah, well
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: happened to what you pressed play and recorder frankers to
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: get it done? Yes, yes, my mama got me mine
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: for Christmas. I took it upstairs and recorded Rudy ray
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: Mole sign to find a monkey down in the jungle.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: Dec that signified market, damn shouted, got it walked through
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: the trees and all up and that monket I was
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: in the elementary school. He was cussing. He was seven,
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: six or seven. Don't you know about Rudy ray Moore
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: When my dad and them used to play it, ok,
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: And I used to sit on the steps in the
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: hallway and listen to it. Be in the hallway, Holly.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: Everybody had the albums Man, but I remember right album
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: the whole signifying, and I could sound just like it.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: So my mama got it. I went upstairs and I'm
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: recording wear down in the Jungle Dee signifying monkey cussing
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: and everything I'm talking about cuss just like that's when
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: you first look. He felt love like this, So everything
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: going good. We go to church that morning. We come back.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: A couple of sister Porter and sister aur Bell came
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: over to see my mama Bell, and they was in
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: there in the living room, and I had my recorder
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: on the coffee table because I said, saw a cookie
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: on the down room table. I wanted to get a
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: matter of fact, of rice crispy. And when I came back,
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: my mama had to recorder in her lap my stomach.
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: She said, what did they was all timing about? Uh,
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: Sister Harvey, what is that? That's these new recorders that
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: you buy. We bought one for Steve. I'm just looking
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: a man. So later, sister Porter say, what's on it?
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: My mama pressed play. I opened it up like this
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: wear down in the jungle. D that's signifying market that
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: didn't ever sleep. Yeah, I'm cussing it everything in front
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: of it. But I mean it's on the recorder. So
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: my mama trying to find the button, but she can't
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: cut it off. She can't control the volume enough. She
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: steady hitting the plate button. Well that's already down. Your
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: baby talking at the church say, oh, that's that's Rudy
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: ray Mo. So I said, okay, that might help a
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: little bit, they say, She say, but who is it though?
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: Oh who's saying this? Yeah, everybody looking at me. I'm
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: just trying to figure out how I can make this
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: recorded disappear and bleak. If I stay here and look
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: out the window, maybe they won't notice it's me. Man,
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: I was sitting there in trouble. Mama's finally cut that
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: thing up. She said, boy Lord Jesus, when your daddy
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: get home? Oh no, man, So they left. My daddy
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: came home, she says, snip, listen to what this boy
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: didn't put on this on Christmas, and she pressed play again.
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: Wear down in the jungle, d My daddy saying who
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: is that? My mom was saying, that's your son, boy,
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: and then my daddy listening doing any star, smiling, Why
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: don't you uh huh, Yes, sir, I'm just shrinking, I
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: tell you all right. And the brake phone call coming
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: up right after this. You're listening all right. Before we
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: went to brake, Steve, you were telling us the story
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: about when your dad heard you recite Rudy ray Moore
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: on your brand new cars. Mama, come home on Christmas.
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: Look at what your boys doing. Yeah, so she pressed
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: on way down juggle d that blankly blank, didn't ever
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: sleep walking through trees and swinging in the saint that black.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: So my daddy listened to it, and he smiled. He said, boy,
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: that's you. Oh yes, you're in trouble. He said, where
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: your cold at? Go get your coat? Come on, confidence,
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: I ain't never done that, used to go on in
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: the basement. To come. He puts me in the car,
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: he gets the machine, we bag out. We drive right
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: up to Earl's gas station about five minutes from the house.
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: You got walking there on the man Christmas slick. What's
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: up a little boy? Man? Christmas boy? I got something
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: for y'all. Right him tell me who this is here?
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: So all the men and that one boy that rooted
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: right more. No, it ain't that street you lying that
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: boy right here? This boy sound your like remote, So
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: mister Wales say, we do some of it. Oh man,
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: you can't you think you about cussing in front of
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: y'all life And I got the cussing from y'all. Did
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: you do it? Hell? Yeah? Wait like that right there
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: like Oh man, I love it, I love it. I
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: love it. My daddy thought it was the greatest thing
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: in here now, he said, the woman get back home,
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: tell you mama. We rode and talked about okay, well,
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: they ain't gonna whoop your cause its own cool. Oh
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: it's been a twenty six you've got toe up in
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: the well. He didn't want to whip me noway because
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: he was He thought it was greatness. He thought that
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: was the greatest thing. Yeah here, great you take all
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: that cussing off of that machine. You ain't even where
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: you to learn to these words from. You're playing that
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: all the party. The album is good. Yeah, yeah, wow.
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: Who else you listen to? Dog good Christmas memories right there?
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: That's now this country comedian named Jerry Cloud. Jerry Cloud,
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's what we listened to it. He'll be
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: many Yeah, I love it now that he'll be funny
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: funny man. Yea. I was still a Richard Pride my daddy.
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: Oh huh, I'm doing Richard and Eddie. Oh yeah, that's
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: delirious was my my stand up, specially Eddie did Delirious.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: Who Richard Pryde wanted? That's the one? Yeah wow, I
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: mean that that was back in the day when you
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: when your parents had parties and weren't those called party
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: albums or something play. Yeah, absolutely, party album So they
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: were playing you couldn't listen. You had to come in
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: dance for him. Then you had to go them back. Yeah,
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: come on. And the red playing was right next to
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: the steps leading up to my room, and he was
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: behind the wall, I said on the steps, and I
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: learned how to cuss him. Yeah, a good old day.
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: Gus Gus Gus goody Google, that's American classic right there.
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: For that red level outfit, that was classic. Oh yeah,
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: yeah for sure. What was that that was delirious purple. Yeah,
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: raw was perfect, leather all leather. Raw was wrong, Yeah,
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: raw was wrong. No, man, when that food was doing that,
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: that food was doing that. Dog man, Oh yeah, no,
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: damn that when he got shot, when he was doing
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: the hits. But we see the mine me na my
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: name the number dude said you uh why me times
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: a lady the night n I knew nude that boy
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: saying our holly. Yeah, he gave us some great laughs.
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: And man, yes, Velvet Jones, mister Robinson's neighbor answer, who
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: is movies the absolute best sketch artist? Man? Yeah, that
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: damn teddy man James Brown in that hot tub or
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: dog man, he stuck? Man, don't get in the hot tub.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: Wait a minute, boy, that was it? Boy in the
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: in the movie Trading Places, What is your name? Valentine?
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: Valentine boy, when they finally got him off the street
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: and took him to the house and they had him
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: in the back and he was taking the bath when
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: they was and I shitting the dope and he was
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: in that singing when I showed that to my dad
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: and my dad in Hollida, lad Man, when you think
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: a you got it? Used to open this show every
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: day with that, right, Yeah, yeah, that's where I got
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: it for man, y'all good memory, I tell you man
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: that that that what's what's what's the best? Forty eight
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: hours a Beverly Hill? Oh? What's forty eight hours about?
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: When he was with Nick noted? Oh yeah, Trading Place,
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: coming to America, Coming to American. Funniest comedy movie I've
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: ever seen. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was great. It was
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: clear green all right. Coming up at the top of
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: the hour in Entertainment News, Steve, you're gonna love him
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: this Kevin harden Me. Are you listening to sex Child?
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: You're listening show. This is just about Santa Claus Center
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: is busy now because Santa is so busy some of
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: the Mason's Department stores. Now, you gotta make an appointment
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: to see Santa. So I have the schedule right here.
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: You're listening from nine am to eleven am. Santa is
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: gonna see kids that have long list. That's just from
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: nine to eleven, non coming out to eleven with no
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: long list. We're just doing long lists from nine to eleven.
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: And Santa warning you this year, don't be repeating stuff
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: you hear all the kids say, just read your list
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: to Senna from then at noon. Starting at noon, Sennah
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: will see all the kids that are winders. Wha you
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: whine a lot. I don't want to shut your ass
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: up way to new not the Windings. Between three and five,
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: Senna gonna deal with the kids that Jed won't sit,
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: steal three kids that fidget, and any children that might
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: bite bite, because from three to five the Black sand
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: to sit in and he's gonna deal with the kids
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: and let the right and fit sit your ass still
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: bite me, I'm gonna bite you back. You know you
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: gotta hear stuff like that now from then until seven. Uh,
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: this is towards the end of the day. All loud
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: criers and and kids that's afraid of sound. I'm gonna
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: save me. I'm scary, asked you later older day. So
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: if you know your baby gonna holl a loud and
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: as afraid of Santa, bring him every day. We're gonna
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: on that day, we're gonna bring in us. We're gonna
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: bring a skinny or Santa clause in it so he
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: ain't as imposing, maybe cut down on some of the crime.
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: But that's right after the Black Sunta get through snatching
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: or knocking a couple of kids, and then listen very
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: carefully critical right before closing. Now, we're only gonna take
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: tenities of day, so you gotta make an appointment. Only
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: ten of these a day, okay, very important. These are
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: kids who pee on center. If your child take a
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: ten a day, he on center. This is at the
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: end of the day that we're only gonna take ten.
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: Sener got some special gear made. You're gonna switch him
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: out from the skinny center bring back fat Center. But
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: he ain't really that fat. It's just he got on
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: a lot of absorbing clothes and so towards the end
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: ten a day, that's all we're doing because we got
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: enough absorbing pads on now where he can soak up
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: ten peas. Okay, so we're just doing ten. If your
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: baby no me living in line, he gotta come back
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: to Marrow. We try to get him in there, but
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: it's at the end of the day. That way we're
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: saying to take his suit off, we can bring it.
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: I bet he paid on a lot, hud I thought
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: about it. Yeah, So that's our schedule. So please, if
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: your children fit in there anywhere you know you'll be
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: able to know where your child fits in. All right, Steve,
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: Let's get to the news, ladies and gentlemen, Miss Anne
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: trip much, thank you very much as his and troop
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: with the news well. With Christmas fast approaching, President Biden's
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: warning Americans not to believe the hype. He says naysayers
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: are purposely twisting the numbers. He says store shelf capacity
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: in this country is back up to ninety percent. It
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: was ninety one percent before the pandemic, but it's ninety
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: percent now. He says. The gas price is also a
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: way down, which he says is good news for all
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: those people are ready to hit the road this weekend. Meanwhile,
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: the President is extending pandemic relief to tens of millions
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: of federal loan borrowers. Back in March of twenty twenty,
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: Congress granted people a reprieve on their federal loan payment.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: You may remember that because of COVID, interest was slashed
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: to zero percent. Collections stopped all that stuff. While the
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: pause has since been extended a couple of times, but
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: it's now been extended again because of the super contagious
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: omicron variant. Repayments are now scheduled to resume on May first.
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: In Louisville, Kentucky. The task force put together in the
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: wake of the police killing of emergency medical technician Brianna
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: Taylor has issued its report. Brianna, you may remember, twenty
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: six years old. She'd received commendations for her life saving skills,
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: shot to death by cops who burst into her apartment
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: looking for a drug suspect who didn't live at that address.
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: Taylor's boyfriend thought the place was being broken into. He
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: fired one shot from his registered gun trying to help
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: his girlfriend, hoping to defend her, and he'll called nine
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: one one. The cops fired thirty two rounds. He killed,
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: They killed Brianna. Taylor at one point tried to charge
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: her boyfriend with attempted murder because of the one shot
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: that he fired, but again, he was registered and he
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: called nine one to say someone was breaking into the apartment.
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: None of the cops who shot the innocent woman was
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: charged with her murder. The task forces inclusion cops the
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: additional training and electronic monitoring of ZIP codes where search
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: wants are issued. That's it. This is scary. According to
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: a report and Newsweek, there are means of angry and
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: armed Americans who are standing ready to seize power if
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: Donald Trump loses a reelection bid in twenty twenty four.
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: The report says there are many rank and file Republicans
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: who own guns and who in recent months have been
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: speaking openly about the need to quote take down by
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: force if necessary the federal government, which right wing media
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: has convinced them is illegitimate, overreaching, and corrosive to American freedom. Well,
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: is that you, sny Glass? Well, it's claws somewhere. There's
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: some information that you need to know before you think
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: about suffering that Christmas stocking, Walmart's apologizing to a black
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: woman in Kentucky who noticed or when she found the
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: black version of a popular white doll that Walmart was
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: charging teen bucks more for the black one. That happened before, yes,
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: back in up twenty fourteen, and another national retail chain
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: WBLSH two one in New York. You're listening show, all right?
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: Come on, Steve introduced your your your best friend. Let
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: Jay Anthony Brown just got here. No no, no, no, no,
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: You're gonna to do better than that. We've been friends
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: for way too low. Put some put some sauce, in that.
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: Put some sauce on my name, some sauce on my
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: lazy gentleman, thank you, without further ado, the living myth
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: and legend that Damn Jay Anthony the Brown. Okay, can
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: we just run that every week because I know I'm
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: not gonna be able to get you to do You're
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: not getting that ever, get it? Yeah? Saved that. Dave
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: marked that and saved that. Okay, because all right here
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: we go. What's in the mind of yours Shuli jay
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: Anthony Brown. It is the holidays. I'm talking to the grandparents.
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: I'm talking to the aunts, the uncles, the aunties, the
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: older people who are buying gifts for these kids, probably
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: the very first time. Now a lot of us will
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: give cash. That's cool, and a lot of us don't
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: know what to buy. I don't know what to buy,
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: but I know what not to buy. I know what
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: you shouldn't try to give a child because they ain't
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: gonna want it. If your ass is wrapping up a
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: yoyo right now, stop what you're doing. Okay, stop it.
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: Don't nobody stop it. Don't nobody want to damn yo yo, Okay,
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: nobody wants that. If you went out and purchased, or
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: hula hoo with good intentions or hula hoo. They don't
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: know what the hell it is as soon as you
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: wrap that damn thing up, and they don't want it. Okay,
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: you can keep all these old ass board games, sorry,
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: monopol League operation. Don'tbody want them damn games. Okay, think
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: about it. When the last time your ass played Monopoly,
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: you ain't played long long damn give it to the child.
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: And here's something very important. Don't make a damn thing.
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: Don't make anything. If you're knitting, knit one pearl, to
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: knit one pearl, to knit one. Stop knitting. Don't nobody
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: want them thick ass demittens. No nobody with that thick
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: ass sweater, and that stop running neck and you get
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: a cramp in your damn neck. Don't nobody want that.
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: Stop knitting, Stop right now. Don't bake a damn thing
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: to send those things don't hold up in the middle.
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: And last, but not least, if you're building a doll house,
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: damn it, stop it. You stop right now. You build
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: a seven hundred pounds doll house, it ain't got no
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: floors in it. The ceiling is like so high you
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: gotta step down. On the bottom, the windows away at
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: the top. Don't know, child, want that? Stop building? Okay,
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: these are my holiday tips. Don't build a damn thing.
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: He's just a doghouse, that's what You're building. A damn dog.
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: I'm done, I'm finishing, all right, thank you, Jay, Merry Christmas.
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: You're listening to all right, Steve? Go ahead, Well, now
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: what you about to heal? It's pure comedic genius. But
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: I must play a disclaimer. This is going to be
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: a little edgy. He's gonna ruffle a couple of feathers.
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: So I'm just letting you know this. This is Jay
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: Anthony Brown, and I kind of got an idea. I
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: don't know exactly what it is, but I'm in supportive comedy. Yeah,
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: but I'm saying we're doing this with a disclaimer, okay,
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: that no one can call us and say nothing about it.
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: I don't know exactly what he gonna do, but he
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: could run for some feathers, ladies and gentlemen. Jay Anthony Brown,
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: all right, what I'm what I'm about to do right now?
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: Every year, a lot of people, good people, you know,
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: meaning good have quanza parties. Now, okay, let's stop right there.
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: I don't think it's a lot of people. You can
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: go ahead. You must be trying to build this joke
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: up and not a lot of quans. How about people
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: have a quanza party and don't a lot of people come,
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: and they wonder why people don't come? What I had
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: the suggestions to get more people to your quanza party.
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: Number one, offer a free die she get anybody who
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: will show up one side fit all. Everybody that shows
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: that kuanza party, you get a free bean piper. If
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: you don't like me, seetato. If you can't everybody don't
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: like Okay, now this one it's really good. This is
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: really really good. If you have a quanza party, Steve,
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: you can demonstrate what I mean by this. Do not
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: have more than two philosophying brothers or sisters at your party?
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: Don't you don't want more than two in there? You
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: don't want to, you know, brothers. Let me say this
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: about this time, this period that we partake of, in
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: this equestrious moment, yea of history defiling or the gratuitousness
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: and the barbarousness of what these holidays are too. That's
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: why we celebrate qualsa. But I dare say, though brother,
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: you don't want that. We have competulate the situation knowing
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: that it is far regarically not a capability of scientific split.
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: Let let me interject some sensibility into this conversation. Okay,
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: you don't want a whole bunch of them at your party? Okay,
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: it tends up the mood. Number five, easerup. This is
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: very important. Easer. You know what E's up mean? Right,
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: he's up on the incense and sage. Okay, because the
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: back of my nose is burning. How about shoes that
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: like I got a headache? Noxious? Okay, my green taste
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: like Saint number two? You want number seven? You want
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: to play something other than the Lion King. And this
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: is benpointant that African drummers don't have to play all
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: night long. Okay, they don Shirley and Lastnight Last But
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: don't tell nobody it's a quins a party. Just tell
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: him come over. Okay, don't have to tell him something
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: you can't. I'm having a surprise. I have a party,
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: all right. Listen coming up for the nephew Uday Frank
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: phone call that's coming up right after corn Brass spell.
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: Like you're listening, Steve Harvey Morning Show coming up at
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: the top of the hour about four minutes after. It's
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: my strawberry letter for today. I've never seen it or
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: touched it. Right now, the nephew in the building with
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: today's prank phone call. What you got for us? Nav?
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: Christmas decorations? Christmas decorations running. Look, I'm trying to read cecil. Yeah,
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: this cecil's going on. Hey this manny, Man, I live
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: like about four five streets over from you, this manny,
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: How you doing, brother? I'm doing good? Man? How you doing?
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: I'm good? Hey, uh, I see you. You You got
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: your Christmas lights up right, you know? Yeah? I got
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: him up. I got my whole of them, everything set up. Man,
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: it's just looking real good. Okay. Let me let me
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: ask you something, man. The theme you got in your yard?
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: Where you get that idea from? What you mean? Where
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: I get them from? The idea? Like you got a
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: snow man, you got Santa Claus, some reindeals, you got
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: your whole house decorated. You got Jesus with the Manger
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: and the wise men around him. Where did you get
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: your idea from? I'm I'm lost what you're talking about? Man?
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: You ask me where I got a theme from them?
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: I mean you try to imply from them. I'm I'm
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: asking you a question, where did you get the idea from?
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: I made this up. I made up Jesus, Jesus and
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: the man you know that represents Chrystal Man. You go
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: with a team that's Chrystmas base man, and that's that's
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: Chrystmas base Jesus. There Chrystmas Jesus and in just in
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: Jerusalem and Beth Lamb and hey, what's what's going on? Man?
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: Who are you? Where you getting my number from? Any
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: I'm I'm I'm manny man, I'm manning. I got I
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: got your number from one of the people that live
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: on your street. And I'm just asking you on the
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: reel where you get this idea from? I made this idea?
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: If I made this up? Man, I made this up.
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: Get the second time you ask me why I get
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: this idea from? What are you trying to go? The
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: real deal? Dog? The same thing you got if you
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: come four streets over. I got the same thing in
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: my yard, and it looked like you to stole my idea.
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: And see what you ain't gonna do is try to
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: win Christmas yards of the season, and you don't stole
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: my idea. That's the problem I got with you. Now.
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: The problem you got is like to twist it, okay,
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: to see I put this together without here. I never
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: even heard of you many begin with. Secondly, I've been
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: doing this particular theme in my yards as I've been
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: standing over. I've been stand over in six years. You
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: ain't had that. You ain't had that theme last year.
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: You ain't had that mad this team last year and
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: the year before, and I put mocked up in the
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: same place every damn time I put it down. You
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: did not had this last talk about who are you
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: to call me and tell me about my theme and
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: about my yard and what you got going. I know
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: you ain't copying. Man. Man, I'm gonna tell you right now,
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: and I ain't going to go no further. You need
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: to rearrange your theme and get a different thing, because
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: you got the same theme I got. No, you need
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: to rearrange your okay, because I ain't rearranging Jack over here. Hey, man,
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: let me tell you Jack. Tell you something, man, And
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: I'm being really as real as I can be with you.
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: If I got to come over there and unplugged, if
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: you got to come out. If I got to come
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: over to your house unplugged some stuff, No, no, no, thine,
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: if that thing my foot will be getting unplug from
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: your First of all, you ain't gonna come on my street,
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: in my house and just respect me at all about
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: anything that I got set up in my yard, Seuly,
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: I ain't. I'll tell you what. Then, I'm just gonna
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: do this ship. I'm gonna just come over there and
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: take Jesus and take them and take them wise men
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: at your yard. That's what I'm gonna do. Come over
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: this way, call everybody messing with Jesus in the manger.
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: It's gonna be some real power. Because football, that's fake signal.
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: That's that's the son of other things. Now, if you
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: want to come over here, you want to kind of
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: do something like that, you're gonna need Jesus to help you.
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: This is gonna be some rolling around going on like yo,
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: what the bottom line is just right here? You got
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: the nerve to do the same thing. My god, I'm
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: full streets over. I'm driving through looking at everybody's man,
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: looking at everybody's the only one and seen same way
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: the same place. He a doot long yere. Ain't nobody
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: ever call on me? Your stuff look like? Man? It
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: from four five six? Who the head is? Man? In
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: any wait? Man, ain't got no right coming on my
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: street because you don't stay on this street. You're going
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: around living at people. I'm trying to get your ideas. Man,
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: you got a rich No, No, I'm very original. I
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: moved to this neighborhood and fol you did. I've been here.
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: I've been here ten years. You've been here, boy six
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: I lone. You've been living over here. I've been living
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: over here six years. This fu the vision was just
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: coming up when I came over here. How are you
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: gonna tell me? You've been running your team long and
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: I've been running mine? Who you clay? Hey? Man? And
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: it ain't. I ain't got time to go back? Man.
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: You know what, I got better things? So I still
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: got some more lights put up? Hey, I gotta want
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: to class to go back and forth. When I'm gonna
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: tell you just right here, I'm to come take Jesus
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: off your yard. I'm gonna take Jesus and then one
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: to take Jesus out my yard. I see now you're
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: sounding like when I'm crazy. People come about thinking Jesus
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: out of my life. That's where he's got life and
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: mess up. Come on over. I got somebody and that's
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: what you look here. Don't turn your life on the
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: lights gonna being on the nighte tomorrow night and every
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: other night. Tell about taking my Jesus into mankers. I'm
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: original as a written that can be. Come over if
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: you want to. I got something. You have stole my
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: ideal and we're talking about this stelling ideas. Come on here.
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: Let's hey dog dog, let me tell you something right
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: now Jesus and then wise men is coming I hill
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: yard today. No, you know what, man, I'm through with you. Man,
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: I'm through with you. You know what. Come over here
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: if you want to touch my making Jesus touch my
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: manjer touch Meving Joseph and the wise Man, and I'm
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: gonna put the North Star over your literally, hey man,
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: they don't know where you get my number from a night?
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: Who are you anyway? Who is it? Who are you? Man?
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: I tell you what you tell about? Coming over here,
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: listen with anything on coble Okay, set to go off
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: every evening at du from the story getting dark my
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: going on. Let mine come on the nights for you anyway?
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: Why why are you why you can't come up with
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: your own team? Man? Why you can't my own sea?
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: And look at it? I'll tell you what, man who
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: for you? Anyway? We're just squatted right now? You stay
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: four five three over what kind of color you got
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: your God? While I come find you little come deal
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: with you right now where you at, right now, where
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: you are? You know what? Don't worry about where I'm at.
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: I'm I'm a ready on your life about moment litter.
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: Now I'm gonna come fine, No, your life ain't coming
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: on tonight. What never not come on the night. There's
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: gonna be some problems in your life. It's gonna be
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: on the breeze and you I don't let you know this?
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: Man he Mann? Who for you anyway? Man? You have
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: caused me out of the blue telling me that you're
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: gonna come disconnect my life and steal my major and
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: take my baby jeeves out the man? Who are you
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: set up here accusing me of feeling your things when
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: it's been my theme or all these years six years
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: I've been doing this night of War best yard three
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: years or three years running in this season. Now I
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: think you're trying to get mine. But but see the
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: problem is you don't want the best yards because you're
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: still in my idea. How can I be sitting your man? Man?
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: You know what you and your and I'm ready to
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: deal with your right hey, dog, dog, I'm not going
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: to go back and forth with you. You stole my
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: Jesus theme. Dog. Oh wait a minute, how can I
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: warn that's yard three years running? And you're saying I
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: got to think and you you should have been getting
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: you must not be doing it right. Let me let me,
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: let me, let me go on on say this to
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: you right now. Dogs, what Larry on your streets told
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: me to call you, larrys Larry told you to come
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: on later, gave you my number, Larry, and Tommy told
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: me to call you every Timmy told you to call me.
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: Do you know who Tommy is? Nothing that ain't there,
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: ain't never missing? Ain't Tommy to me? Who I'm Tommy?
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: I'm nephew Tommy from the Steve Harvey Morning Show. You
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: just got planked by your boy, Larry Man. Nephew Tommy
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: you want the Morning Show told me to call you.
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: It's a you win. Every single year the Christmas yard,
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: but it's Californna. Yeah. Let me ask you something. What's
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: the baddest radio show in the lane? Oh man? Hands
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: down't know the show with Nephew. You know you can't
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: do that. Y'all know that though yo yo lights side
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: side can't look like somebody else lights out side. You
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: can't take nobody's theme. You get behind with behind that.
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: It's serious on my street, roll through the neighborhood. You
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: can't nobody to have your same layout. You got, man,
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: got another black Jesus on the street. At Jesus on
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: the street. It's serious, serious, man, put these lights up
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: the serious doc they mean it You going death behind Christmas? Correct,
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: it's trying to one up your neighbor. Yeah, Christmas lights threat.
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: All right, nephew, thank you A lot to think about
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: in that one up. Next Strawberry Letter subject, The subject
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: is for Tommy. I've never seen it or touched it
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: back to get into the letter. Right after this, you're
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: listening to the Steve Morning Show. Time now for today's
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter, and listen. If you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: and more, please please submit your Strawberry letter to Steve
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: Harvey FM and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: reading your letter just like this one. We're gonna read
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: this one live on the air right here, right now,
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: let's go to me. Buckle up, hold on tight. We
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: got it for you. Here it is Strawberry letter, Thank you. Subject.
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: I have never seen it or touched it. Dear Stephen Shirley.
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: I've been in a long distance relationship with a great
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: guy for the past six years. We live an hour apart,
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: so it's not far at all. We see each other regularly.
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: When we spend time together, it's wonderful and we have
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: a lot of sex to make up for the times
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: we're apart. Although we have a lot of sex, it
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: is never the romantic experience that I crave because I've
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: never seen my man naked from the waist down. I
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: have never touched any part of his body from the
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: waist down. He will let me rub on his chest
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: and that's it. If I try to touch below his waist,
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: he immediately grabs my hand. I used to ask him why,
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: and he would say that it's his goal to please
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: me and that I should just relax and let him
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: take over. That is so weird to me, and it
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: ruins the whole experience for me. As soon as we're done,
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: he puts his boxers back on. He has never just
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: rolled over and passed out like my ex is used
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: to do. Another thing that's strange is we have never
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: taken a shower or a bubble bath together. I have
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: no problem sacheting around with no clothes on in front
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: of him, and he enjoys it. But he is always
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: covered up. I know you are wondering why I'm bringing
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: it up now if I've been dealing with it for
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: six years. Well, he's been talking about taking our relationship
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: to the next level, so now I have to make
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: some decisions about him and our future. I don't know
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: if I can live with the prudish man for the
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: rest of my life. We are both in our late fifties,
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: so I am not sure what he's hiding down there.
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: I should be able to love on his entire body
• 54:32
  Speaker 1: and enjoy a little shower action occasionally. If this is
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: his only flaw, that may then I may be overthinking things.
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: What do you think? Is it strange to you? How
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: can I open up a discussion about it? Please advise? Wow,
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: this whole letter is a little weird and strange to me.
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: The fact that you've been in a long distance relationship
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: for the past six years is weird and strange to me.
• 54:56
  Speaker 1: The fact that you think in our way qualifies as
• 54:59
  Speaker 1: a long distance relationship is a little weird and strange
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: to me. And the fact that you say you have
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: a lot of sex but you have not seen it
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: or touched him below the waist but you want to
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: and he won't let you that is super weird, super strange.
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: So I don't know. At first, I was thinking, you know,
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: maybe he's married, maybe he's not that into you. But
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: then you say, he's been talking about taking your relationship
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: to the next level, so now you have to make
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: some decisions about him. I mean, could he be like
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: super super shy or something. I don't know. I mean,
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: I don't know what's going on down there that he
• 55:37
  Speaker 1: won't let you see or touch. I mean, you know,
• 55:40
  Speaker 1: I've heard about women who want to, you know, to
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: be intimate with the lights off and things like that,
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: but usually men don't care. So you know, they walk
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: around naked and you know they're very comfortable with their body.
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: So I don't know, Steve's a man, I'm gonna pass
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: this one over to him. Maybe he sees something in
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: here that, um you know, yeah, I mean I was
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: gonna say that, Um, maybe you know he's disproportionately small
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: or something, but you have a lot of secks, so
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: that couldn't be it, and you would know that I
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: got it, all right, all right, So I'm gonna, I'm gonna.
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna pass it on over to Steve right now,
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: go ahead, I got it, fu you go ahead, baby.
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: Before I answer this letter, I'm gonna put a disclaim out.
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: If you have small kids in the room or in
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: the car, put their headsets on and let him do
• 56:46
  Speaker 1: something else, because this is an educational letter, and I
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: would be using educational terminal terms. Okay, if you don't
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: want your children in the hill words like this, then
• 57:04
  Speaker 1: I'm asking you gently as a father and a grandfather.
• 57:10
  Speaker 1: Now my grandkids get to hear this type of stuff
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: because Pap part don't fix a damn thing in his house.
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: I stay here, y'all on chipping and on rent. You
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: hear it ain't old. By the way, Congratulations to love
• 57:24
  Speaker 1: Ezra because he's walking now. I saw a video funny
• 57:27
  Speaker 1: all right, So here we go. I've never seen it
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: on testing this shell and Steve, I've been a long
• 57:33
  Speaker 1: distrelationship with a great guy for the past six years.
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: We live our parts, so it ain't far at all,
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: and we see each other often. Our part is not
• 57:42
  Speaker 1: a long distant relationship. It's a long drive, but it
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: ain't a long distance. It takes a minute to get down,
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: but it's not long distance. Long distant relationships mean it's
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: hard to see one another. But you said in your
• 57:58
  Speaker 1: ladder that you see each other often, and when you do,
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: you have a lot of sex together, making up from
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: your time apart. But you say it's never the romantic
• 58:09
  Speaker 1: experience that I crave because I've never seen my man
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: nked from the waist down? Und why why could this be? Well,
• 58:26
  Speaker 1: already know what the problem is and I'm gonna share
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: with it. He lets you rub on his chest, but
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: if I try to touch below his waist, he immediately
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: grabs my hand. And I used to ask him why,
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: and he would say it's his goal to please me
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: and I should just relax and let him take over.
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: Your man is in his late fifties. Your man has
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: a penal implant. That's what it is. All right, Steve,
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: hold on, we have part two of your response coming
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: up at twenty three minutes. The subject of today's strawberry letter,
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: I have never seen it or touched it. And that's
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: what you call a good ass cliffhanger. You're listening to
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: st show. All right, Steve, come on, let's recap today's
• 59:20
  Speaker 1: strawberry letters. Subject, I have never seen it or touched it. Now,
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: when we left off, yeah, we left off? Is in
• 59:29
  Speaker 1: a long distant relationship? That's an our way that ain't
• 59:33
  Speaker 1: long distance? Sherely pointed that out. You just take you
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: a longer time to see each other, but that ain't
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: long distance. Well, y'all have a lot of sex because
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: y'all been a part and you don't see each other.
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: And when you do have sex, it's not the romantic
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: experience that you crave because in your late fifties, you've
• 59:53
  Speaker 1: never seen or touched his private part from the waist down.
• 59:58
  Speaker 1: Every time you try, he rabs your head. Now, let's
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 1: stop right here. Who the hell? Okay, who who do that? What?
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 1: Man you having a romantic time with and you reach
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: for it? He goes, no, man, no, hey, what you're doing?
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: What you do? What you're doing what you're doing. What
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 1: you're doing, what you do that, don't do that? Who
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 1: do that? What man do? What? Man do this? And nah,
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: I got two solutions for you. The cliffhanger I left
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: with because he in the late fifties. The reason you've
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: never seen it, the reason never touched it. The reagon.
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 1: What all this here? Because your man has peno and
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 1: plans and that's it. Oh you wait the more Yeah,
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 1: we all easy shocking revelations. Yeah, you did a disclaimer earlier.
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 1: I did say, get your kids out of the room
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 1: now here. You're gonna have to do some explaining if
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 1: your kids hear this one, so listen to me careful.
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 1: Hopefully they won't. Maybe your man is not a man
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 1: work with me, work with me, but a woman with
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 1: no aid like a sexual Okay, I mean that's why
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 1: I like, let's just say some extra curriculum help activity device.
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 1: M hmmm. They don't take showers together, they don't take
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 1: baths together. He is always covered up. She said, Uh,
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 1: she's been dealing with this for six years. He wants
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 1: to take the relationship to the next level. Steve. Uh.
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 1: If she tries to touch it, he immediately grabs her hand.
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 1: Uh uh, huh. She's never seen him naked from the
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: waist down. Don't touch hmmm, says it's wow. I'm so,
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: I'm so. I'm so. I'm saying that I can't see it.
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 1: You can't see your shot magic. It's magic. It's like
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 1: a trick. And I don't want you to. I don't
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 1: want you This is an illusion. It's like, hey, let
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 1: me ask you a question. Do do do? Do the
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: magicians show you where the rabbit that? They never do?
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 1: They never do. They never let me ask you something.
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 1: Do you have any idea of where the damn dove
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 1: come from? Never? So, I'm dog gon who you think?
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 1: Fifty said? With writing a song about what I got?
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 1: The magic? And you can't mess with it because it's magic. Girl,
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 1: you're gonna mess it. Girl, You're gonna mess around and
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 1: mess the whole trick up. Now. Wow, he's a magician.
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 1: He's a magician. Ship dating a magician? Okay, you Dayton?
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 1: What you du Curtis m Curtis Jackson? Wow, And that's
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 1: what it is. Those are your three options? Number one
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 1: penalt implant number two, number two. Your man is not
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 1: a man. Okay, it has extracurriculum activities. And number three
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 1: he's a magician. And you ca'se ever see the trick?
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 1: Whoa all right? Curtain back on the trick poster? Comments
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 1: on Today's Strawberry Letter. It's Steve Harvey f M on
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 1: Instagram and Facebook. Please don't forget to check out the
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter podcast on demand? Did you everybody? This is
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 1: the river of that door for the Steve Motor Show.
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 1: And I'd like to say, what weird Christmas? Have you juiced?
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: What'd you say? D Christmas? You're listening to? All right,
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 1: it's been a minute since Junior has blessed us with
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 1: the poem. And guess what he's here today with the poem.
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 1: Oh okay, okay, listen, y'all. This got to be addressed.
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: This is important. This is not a game. Okay, let
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 1: me say. I've watched all these Christmas booms. I've seen
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 1: sama everywhere. I've seen the North Pole. But you know what,
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 1: you don't see black elves? Where are they? How come
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 1: we don't have no black ells? So the title of
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 1: this poem is, Hey, Sadam, how come they't no black els?
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 1: That's all here? This is it. I just want to
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 1: address this black people everything, black people, black panther all that.
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 1: But did y'all notice all these years we've been living,
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 1: you ain't seen no black els. That don't bother y'all?
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 1: When it bothered me enough that I wrote a poem
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 1: about it. I'm serious here it is, Hey, Sandam, how
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 1: come there're no black els? I don't see any black ells, Santam,
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 1: what's up with that? Most of the els I see
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 1: a white And that's an actual fact. I guess black
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 1: ells don't matter, at least they don't to you. You've
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 1: been the North Pole all damn your long? Can't we
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 1: at least get too? I hate to march on the
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 1: North Pole because for marching the weather's not right. So, Senna,
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 1: I like some black els, and I like them before
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 1: Christmas night. Wow, So go ahead and pack your towards
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 1: to do your Christmas d but put some black hels
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 1: on your list. And damn it, I'm asking nicely, please
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 1: don't make me come up there, because I will then
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 1: where the black hell? What? What? Where is he? Black hell? Okay? Okay,
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 1: but Junior, huh, don't you have sucker sale? You can't
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 1: take your black can? I know I can't talk threatened, Sam,
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 1: I know I can't go up there. Christ that have
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 1: Christ try to march. I know, I know I can't
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 1: go up there. You cannot go to the point remain
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 1: the point remain where the black hells. That's all I
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 1: need to know. The weather, the weather won't out allow
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 1: you to go up there. Junior. You can't. I said
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 1: I was gonna mark. I threatened, Sam, I'm not going.
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 1: I know I can't. I know I can't march. I
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 1: can't march called. I know I can't mark you. But
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 1: the point is, they ain't no black hills, b e
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 1: m black ales matter, black back else. You know they
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 1: ain't gonna get up on time to make the tar.
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 1: They're gonna be late coming to work. Well, we don't
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 1: know that time because it ain't none understand. I don't
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 1: see I'm putting no apps in it. Ain't you take
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 1: your black beht to the North Pole. It's a route
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 1: for you body. Thank you, junior, you're listening. Show Happy
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 1: holidays to everybody out there. To Steve Harvey Nation, let's
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 1: take something. Merry Christmas, and I mean that from the
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 1: bottom of my heart. Merry Christmas and happy New Year.
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 1: This New Year on New Year's Eve. If they don't
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 1: have any any any and I mean any pop bones
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 1: for ham hocks. Ind if it ain't no hamhocks in
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 1: the green, leave, it's not gonna be a good New
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 1: Year if it ain't no ham hockey. But it ain't
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 1: no black eyed Pei there leading if they're trying to
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 1: have a vegettarian New Year, don't get out of there,
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 1: get outage gonna have a bad luck. Steve, come on,
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 1: introduced Jay. He's here to murder another hit, folks, without
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 1: further ado. We murder hits up on hill because we
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 1: got him first round Draft choice Ladies and Jimmy Jay
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 1: burn another song right here, Steve. The song is a
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 1: special song. The song is dedicated to every man who's
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 1: been in the friend zone for the entire year. We've
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 1: all been in the friend zone. It's not a nice
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 1: place to be. You do everything, you help out wants
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 1: to get out of the friend zone. Somebody just putting
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 1: me there. You've been putting friend zone. I'm in there now. Yes,
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 1: songs dedicated here man and friends zones, Christmas songs and
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 1: Christmas ain't gonna be in your friends old uncle pressure,
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 1: he go, he go check it out. Can't you brown
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 1: murders a hit? He will watch your kids, even by
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 1: them gifts, tying in the car and take them to
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 1: the mom. But you call him dear. He buys your
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 1: daddy Beard. There's a gift. He will a dog. You
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 1: can't buy it from a store. Why don't choose? And
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 1: get it up on Chrismust Day? Oh, make a friend
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 1: get a lack a king. Come on, girl, get out
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 1: of that bank and get it up on Chrismust Day.
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 1: I don't want no time, just getting it up now.
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 1: I'm missaw your dough. I took you to the stoke.
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 1: I was there for you when you were unemployed. Stupid
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 1: stuff I didl feed another man's kids. Nothing left for
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 1: me to say, Girl, I feel like getting played. Why
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 1: I don't shoot? Get it up on rist my stay.
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 1: Oh make a man feel like a king. Come home, girl,
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 1: get out that bank. Kenny's something on Groo Rismus Day.
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 1: I don't want no sicks. Just get its day. Oh
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 1: me man feel like a king. Come on, girls, get
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 1: all that thing. Oh Chrismus Day, and man, get friends,
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 1: get out of friends. Own baby. Even bought your daddy Bill, Yes, yes, yes,
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 1: little iTunes, get all your mons something. The girls don't
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 1: enjoy them. Typo, they don't like them. Title, they don't even,
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 1: they don't jump in, they don't see just shut it down.
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 1: Play allegedly you go crazy. That's why even the friends
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 1: zone this. Stay right there, y'all watch this. You're listening
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 1: show all right, Steven, It's time to check your voicemail.
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 1: If you want to leave Steve a message, You're just
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 1: give a holiday greeting to your loved one. Call us
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 1: right now at eight seven seven twenty nine, Steve and
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 1: leave a message. Okay, Hi, Steve Harvey. My name is
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 1: Ronda Hordes and I'm from Destrot, Michigan. I want to
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 1: say thank you to all my employees and to all
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 1: my customers who have stuffed by meat sixteen years. Thank
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 1: you from Lucky Cheese. Take have a merry twittiness and
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 1: happens years. Hi. My name is darkisham Bus. I wanted
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 1: to shut out my mom, Barbara Henry shooted me in
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 1: when I was thirteen fourteen years old. There's one of
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 1: tellers and I think her and I love her and
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 1: I appreciate her for taking me in and always giving
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 1: me unconditional love. And always being there to the partner.
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 1: I love you, mom. Happy holidays. Hey, Steve Harvey, this
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 1: is James Margin. I love to wish my family a
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 1: happy Holidays to the Margins, the Taylors, the Williams, and
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 1: the good Valleys. Be good morning, Steve in the crew.
• 1:14:26
  Speaker 1: This is Patty Chaney from a Gamlabama. I would just
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 1: like to an offecial shout out to my family, wishing
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 1: them a happy holidays. Original change at and Saunders and
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 1: my grandkids c J and Kent. Hello Steve, this is
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 1: Greg Redding out of Salt Lake City, Utah. I want
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 1: to wish you and the whole crew a merry Christmas
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 1: and a happy new Year. I'd like to say Merry
• 1:14:51
  Speaker 1: Christmas to my daughters and my son Chanelle, Chantelle and
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 1: Taylor much love. This is case in terms and I
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 1: wish a happy Holida days to the Standards. We're just
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 1: the cant and Roley's family. I love y'all. Hauds, you're
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 1: listening show, all right? Come on, Steve introduced your your
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 1: your best friend Jay Anthony Brown just got here. No no, no,
• 1:15:19
  Speaker 1: no no, You're gonna need to do better than that.
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 1: We've been friends way too long put some put some
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 1: sauce in that. Put some sauce on my name than
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 1: some sauce on my lazy german. Thank you, without further
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 1: ado the living myth and legend that damn Jay Anthony
• 1:15:41
  Speaker 1: the Brown. Okay, can we just run that every week
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 1: because I know I'm not gonna be able to get
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 1: you to do You're not getting that ever again again. Yeah,
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 1: Dave saved that because I said, Dave marked that and
• 1:15:53
  Speaker 1: saved that. Okay, because all right here we go. What's
• 1:15:56
  Speaker 1: in the mind of yours truly, Jay Anthony Brown? It
• 1:15:59
  Speaker 1: is the holidays. I'm talking to the grandparents. I'm talking
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 1: to the aunts, the uncles, the aunties, the older people
• 1:16:07
  Speaker 1: who are buying gifts for these kids, probably the very
• 1:16:09
  Speaker 1: first time. Now a lot of us will give cash.
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 1: That's cool, and a lot of us don't know what
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 1: to buy. I don't know what to buy, but I
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 1: know what not to buy. I know what you shouldn't
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 1: try to give a child because they ain't gonna want it.
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 1: If your ass is wrapping up a yo yo, right now,
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 1: stop what you're doing. Okay, I'll stop it. Don't nobody
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 1: stop it. Don't nobody wanta damn yo yo, Okay, nobody
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 1: wants that. If you went out and purchased a hula
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 1: hoo with good intentions or hula hoo, they're gonna know
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 1: what the hell it is as soon as you wrap
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 1: that damn thing up, and they don't want it. Okay.
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 1: You can keep all these old ass board games, sorry,
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 1: Monopoly operation. Don'tbody want them damn games. Okay, think about it.
• 1:17:03
  Speaker 1: When the last time your ass played Monopoly, you ain't
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 1: played long long damn give it to the child. And
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 1: here's something very important. Don't make a damn thing. Don't
• 1:17:18
  Speaker 1: make anything. If you're knitting, knit one pearl, to knit
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 1: one pearl, to knit one. Stop knitting. Don't nobody want
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 1: them thick ass demittens. No nobody with that thick ass sweater,
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 1: and got stop running neck and you get a cramp
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 1: in your damn neck. Don't nobody want that. Stop knitting,
• 1:17:36
  Speaker 1: stop right now. Don't bake a damn thing to send
• 1:17:39
  Speaker 1: those things don't hold up in the middle. And last,
• 1:17:42
  Speaker 1: but not least, if you're building a doll house, damn it,
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 1: stop it. You stop right now. You got a seven
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 1: hundred pounds doll house. It ain't got no floors in it.
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 1: The ceiling is like so high. All you gotta stop
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 1: down on the bottom. The windows away at the top.
• 1:18:01
  Speaker 1: Don't know, child, want that stop building? Okay, these are
• 1:18:06
  Speaker 1: my holiday tips. Don't build a damn Thing's just a doghouse.
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 1: That's what you're building. A damn dog. Done. I'm finishing,
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 1: all right, Thank you, Jay, Merry Christmas. All right, Steve,
• 1:18:20
  Speaker 1: coming up our last break of the day. Closing remarks. Okay,
• 1:18:24
  Speaker 1: get ready people right after this. You're listening, all right, Steve.
• 1:18:30
  Speaker 1: Here we are last break of the day on this Thursday. Um,
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 1: take us home with some closing remarks. Uh. You know,
• 1:18:38
  Speaker 1: somebody sent me something a while back. You know, I
• 1:18:42
  Speaker 1: keep stuff that people send me because a lot of
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 1: people send me things when I know I'm going through something.
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 1: A lot of people send me stuff when Just to say, Steve,
• 1:18:54
  Speaker 1: if you're out there talking man, here's a thought for you.
• 1:18:59
  Speaker 1: And one of the things that I've learned in my
• 1:19:05
  Speaker 1: life is that all of us are going to be tested.
• 1:19:09
  Speaker 1: We're going to be tested and tried throughout our life.
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 1: It's these tests that are presented to us that has
• 1:19:19
  Speaker 1: allows us an opportunity to grow. Every test that comes
• 1:19:23
  Speaker 1: your way is an opportunity for you to gain some
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 1: valuable knowledge from it, And so throughout life you will
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 1: always be tested. Everything that happens to you is not
• 1:19:35
  Speaker 1: just because of the devil is busy. Some things happen
• 1:19:40
  Speaker 1: to you because God has to present certain things for
• 1:19:43
  Speaker 1: you in order for you to learn how to deal
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 1: with it, which better prepares you for what you ask
• 1:19:50
  Speaker 1: for later in life, or to prepare you for what
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 1: God is going to present to you later in life.
• 1:19:56
  Speaker 1: So when you're going through hardships, you gotta understand these
• 1:19:59
  Speaker 1: hardships are preparing you for the future. And like I've
• 1:20:03
  Speaker 1: been saying a lot over the past few weeks, if
• 1:20:06
  Speaker 1: you think about all your hardships and your tough days
• 1:20:09
  Speaker 1: and your rough days, your actual record for surviving bad
• 1:20:15
  Speaker 1: days all the way up until this point, y'all, is one.
• 1:20:20
  Speaker 1: And that's a pretty good track record. Now, in this
• 1:20:24
  Speaker 1: test that God is going to present to you, somebody
• 1:20:27
  Speaker 1: sent this to me on a plaque, and it's said
• 1:20:29
  Speaker 1: that life has many ways of testing a person's will.
• 1:20:34
  Speaker 1: And I want you to hear me clearly. It says
• 1:20:36
  Speaker 1: life has many ways of testing a person's will. Either
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 1: though by having nothing happened at all, or by having
• 1:20:50
  Speaker 1: everything happened all at once. Do you know how true
• 1:20:56
  Speaker 1: of a statement that is? You get tested by, first
• 1:21:01
  Speaker 1: of all, a person's will get tested by either having
• 1:21:06
  Speaker 1: nothing happened at all. You know how hard it is
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 1: man when you ain't got nothing going on? Do you
• 1:21:11
  Speaker 1: know how hard it is man when you can't get
• 1:21:13
  Speaker 1: nothing popping? You know how difficult life can be man
• 1:21:16
  Speaker 1: when you just can't seem to get it right? Do
• 1:21:18
  Speaker 1: you know the difficulties you face? Man, ain't nothing clicking
• 1:21:21
  Speaker 1: on none of the cylinders, Man, ain't nothing happening at
• 1:21:24
  Speaker 1: at all. That's a test, man, That's a real hard test. Man.
• 1:21:29
  Speaker 1: That's when you're sitting up that man, going Lord, Heavenly Father.
• 1:21:32
  Speaker 1: And now it's preparing you and conditioning you to get
• 1:21:36
  Speaker 1: closer to God, because I'm telling you, man, you can't
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 1: making it in this world without God. Now you can
• 1:21:41
  Speaker 1: keep on trying this way if you want to, but
• 1:21:44
  Speaker 1: I got news for you. You can lock in on
• 1:21:47
  Speaker 1: this room just a fact. You can't make it through
• 1:21:49
  Speaker 1: this life without no God. You can't do it. You
• 1:21:52
  Speaker 1: cannot do it. It's too difficult. And one of the
• 1:21:55
  Speaker 1: tests to get you to draw closer to him. Is
• 1:21:58
  Speaker 1: sometimes a person wheel is tested by having nothing happened
• 1:22:02
  Speaker 1: at all. But here's the other way you get tested.
• 1:22:05
  Speaker 1: How about this one? All by having everything happened all
• 1:22:09
  Speaker 1: that wants How many times that didn't happen? Man, when
• 1:22:16
  Speaker 1: it just felt like man, it's raining cats and dogs
• 1:22:20
  Speaker 1: on you. It's almost like, man, you can't catch a breaking.
• 1:22:25
  Speaker 1: Ten minute ago you couldn't catch a break to get
• 1:22:28
  Speaker 1: something happened, and now all of a suddenly look like
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 1: you can't stop this thing from happening. It's just snowballing
• 1:22:34
  Speaker 1: on you. Man, that's a test. You know what. God
• 1:22:38
  Speaker 1: has wanting you to get close to him too, so
• 1:22:40
  Speaker 1: he can take some of that weight up off you,
• 1:22:43
  Speaker 1: so you can take your troubles to him and tied
• 1:22:45
  Speaker 1: to him, so he can prove to you that you
• 1:22:46
  Speaker 1: ain't in this thing by yourself. See, you ain't in
• 1:22:49
  Speaker 1: life by yourself. When it ain't you ain't got nothing happening,
• 1:22:52
  Speaker 1: and you ain't got and you ain't by yourself in
• 1:22:54
  Speaker 1: life when you got everything happened. You need God. Man,
• 1:23:00
  Speaker 1: I kid you not, And you know how I know
• 1:23:04
  Speaker 1: what I'm talking about because you're looking at a man
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 1: who tried it without it, and I knew better. My
• 1:23:08
  Speaker 1: mom was a Sunday school teacher. I knew better than
• 1:23:10
  Speaker 1: to turn away and tried my way. But I did
• 1:23:13
  Speaker 1: it for years, and I made you know what I mean,
• 1:23:16
  Speaker 1: I made a mess out of myself. I was turning
• 1:23:19
  Speaker 1: myself into a big old glob or nothing. But he
• 1:23:25
  Speaker 1: got my undivided attention one day when I was at
• 1:23:30
  Speaker 1: a real low point, on one of them days where
• 1:23:33
  Speaker 1: I thought I'm gonna rise no more, on one of
• 1:23:35
  Speaker 1: them days where I thought, man, I hadn't had enough
• 1:23:37
  Speaker 1: for this. I ain't never thought about killing myself. I
• 1:23:39
  Speaker 1: ain't never thought about checking out the thought. It's never
• 1:23:41
  Speaker 1: crossed my mind. But I'm just talking about I just
• 1:23:43
  Speaker 1: had some days, man, where I just felt like, man,
• 1:23:45
  Speaker 1: this said like, yeah, I can't do no more this hill.
• 1:23:48
  Speaker 1: When I was living in that car, I had some days, man,
• 1:23:50
  Speaker 1: when I just said, Man, I can't do this no more.
• 1:23:53
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna go home. Man, I'm gonna go home my
• 1:23:55
  Speaker 1: mom and daddy. Man, just see if I can stay
• 1:23:56
  Speaker 1: there until I find a job. I almost did that
• 1:24:01
  Speaker 1: because you know what, what nothing happening at all. I
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 1: couldn't get nothing clicking and right about the man, I
• 1:24:09
  Speaker 1: just say a Scottison, man, can you just show me
• 1:24:11
  Speaker 1: a sign that it's going to be our Next thing
• 1:24:13
  Speaker 1: I knew I called as some machine in my mama's
• 1:24:15
  Speaker 1: house and it was a message and it was a
• 1:24:18
  Speaker 1: guy named Chuck Chuck Sutton that showed time at their power.
• 1:24:22
  Speaker 1: Next thing, you know, man, next thing? You know? That
• 1:24:27
  Speaker 1: weekend I was on TV for the very first time,
• 1:24:32
  Speaker 1: and do you know something that I've been on TV
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 1: every since then. But it was real dog for me
• 1:24:38
  Speaker 1: for a minute. But he always comes. Life got a
• 1:24:41
  Speaker 1: lot of ways of testing the people's will, either about
• 1:24:43
  Speaker 1: having nothing happening at all or about having everything happening
• 1:24:46
  Speaker 1: all at once. But either way, it's a test. You
• 1:24:49
  Speaker 1: can pass it. You've done all the rest of them,
• 1:24:51
  Speaker 1: ain't you got through it? Yeah? Yeah, that's it. Keep
• 1:24:54
  Speaker 1: your faith, put some God in your life. You need it.
• 1:24:58
  Speaker 1: So I con drop it on the floor. Y'all have
• 1:25:04
  Speaker 1: a great weekend, and y'all tell you mommy amos said,
• 1:25:07
  Speaker 1: what's happen for all? Steve Harvey contests No purchase necessary
• 1:25:11
  Speaker 1: void where prohibited Participants must be legal US residents at
• 1:25:15
  Speaker 1: least eighteen years old, unless otherwise stated. For complete contest rules,
• 1:25:19
  Speaker 1: visit Steve Harvey FM dot com. You're listening to the
• 1:25:22
  Speaker 1: Steve Harvey Morning Show.