Latest / The Steve Harvey Morning Show / Rushion interviews Award-Winning Civil Rights Attorney and Best-Selling Author Areva Martin Esq!
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Welcome to my show, Money Making Conversations Masterclass. I'm your
- 0:03Speaker 1: host with Sean McDonald. I recognize that we all have
- 0:05Speaker 1: different definitions of success. For you, it may be the
- 0:08Speaker 1: size of your paycheck. Mine is inspiring people to develop
- 0:11Speaker 1: a plan to reach their dreams. It's time to stop
- 0:13Speaker 1: reading other people's success stories to start writing your own.
- 0:16Speaker 1: You can only exceed expectations by believing in yourself. Know
- 0:19Speaker 1: that people always talk about your purpose of gifts. If
- 0:22Speaker 1: you have a gift, then leave with your gift and
- 0:24Speaker 1: don't let your friends, family, or co worker stop you
- 0:27Speaker 1: from planning or living your dream. My guest today is
- 0:30Speaker 1: a Riva Martin. She's an award winning civil rights attorney,
- 0:33Speaker 1: best selling Arthur Media personality, and child advocate. Reva Martin
- 0:37Speaker 1: served as a CNN and h l n N legal
- 0:40Speaker 1: analysts and contributor, as well as host of her own
- 0:42Speaker 1: web based, in depth current affairs talk show called The
- 0:45Speaker 1: Special Report with the Riva Martin. She also has a
- 0:48Speaker 1: weekend show and The Tavis Smile at kbl A talk
- 0:51Speaker 1: station fifteen eighty called Riva Martin Out Loud. On the
- 0:55Speaker 1: show today, we'll be discussing this her new book Awakening Ladies,
- 0:59Speaker 1: Leader Shift and Lies We've Been Told is a three
- 1:02Speaker 1: prong approach to defining, exploring, and solving the five key
- 1:06Speaker 1: falsehoods that have historically historically kept women in an inequitable
- 1:11Speaker 1: position in society. Please welcome to Money Making Conversations Master Class.
- 1:15Speaker 1: She always isn't a joy and always educates me A
- 1:19Speaker 1: Reva Martin, Hello, my friend. Always a pleasure to see you.
- 1:25Speaker 1: Where was the pleasure that I got this book in
- 1:26Speaker 1: the mail? And you know, I read all my books
- 1:29Speaker 1: now and so and this was a good fun read.
- 1:32Speaker 1: And the reason I say it's fun read is that
- 1:34Speaker 1: you know, when you get when you get my age
- 1:37Speaker 1: and uh over fifty, and then you tend to have
- 1:40Speaker 1: have shared some of these life experiences. And then you
- 1:44Speaker 1: then you wonder, is that you in the book that
- 1:46Speaker 1: she's talking about or did you share some of those values?
- 1:49Speaker 1: You know, because we always like to say we grow
- 1:51Speaker 1: and we learn and we mature. And this book is
- 1:54Speaker 1: a is a book about I put the word must
- 1:57Speaker 1: read because it taught me some things about myself. It
- 2:02Speaker 1: made me look at the world and say, really, this
- 2:05Speaker 1: is really happening. And also I have a have a daughter.
- 2:08Speaker 1: She's twenty five and she's going out into the corporate world.
- 2:11Speaker 1: She just graduated from college. And I think this is
- 2:13Speaker 1: a book, this type of book I would like for
- 2:15Speaker 1: to read. So why did you write the book other
- 2:17Speaker 1: than me introducing it saying it was a mush read
- 2:20Speaker 1: for your daughter and women like your daughter, because I
- 2:23Speaker 1: have two daughters that are in the same age, because
- 2:25Speaker 1: your daughters, and I wanted those women like our kids,
- 2:29Speaker 1: who are going into the workforce to have some understanding
- 2:33Speaker 1: about what they are going to face. We live in
- 2:36Speaker 1: a culture right now. You've seen it, Rashaan, where the
- 2:39Speaker 1: hashtag girl boss and that hashtag and that whole phenomenon
- 2:44Speaker 1: around you know what it means to be a boss.
- 2:47Speaker 1: I wanted to help dispel some of the myths about
- 2:50Speaker 1: what people may think it means and give some reality
- 2:55Speaker 1: to what they're going to face in the workplace. And
- 2:57Speaker 1: I don't have per se a problem with the hash
- 3:00Speaker 1: tag girl boss of people calling themselves girl bosses. I've
- 3:03Speaker 1: done it myself. But I do want people to understand
- 3:06Speaker 1: that we live in this society where even some women
- 3:08Speaker 1: have bought into this meritocracy concept, this concept that being
- 3:14Speaker 1: successful as a woman means striving and climbing the corporate ladder,
- 3:18Speaker 1: and the higher up that ladder I get, then the
- 3:22Speaker 1: you know, the I can say to other women, look
- 3:26Speaker 1: at me. If I did it that way, you two
- 3:28Speaker 1: can do it that way. It's some people call it
- 3:30Speaker 1: corporate feminism, this notion again that being a you know,
- 3:34Speaker 1: feminist is all about how much you can attain, how
- 3:37Speaker 1: much money, how much status, how many things, how much stuff, uh,
- 3:41Speaker 1: and less about the systems that oppressed women, the systems
- 3:45Speaker 1: that oppressed minorities. And I just wanted to give people
- 3:50Speaker 1: some grounding and you know, make them realize that we
- 3:53Speaker 1: still live in a world that no matter how great
- 3:55Speaker 1: you are individually, that if you are a woman, particularly
- 3:59Speaker 1: if you are a woman of color, you are still
- 4:01Speaker 1: likely to run head straight into some systems that might
- 4:06Speaker 1: hold you back, that might create some barriers. And we
- 4:09Speaker 1: still have a lot of work to do. And as
- 4:11Speaker 1: women that make it to the top, we've got to
- 4:14Speaker 1: not just focus on our own personal gains financially and
- 4:17Speaker 1: status wise. We've got to get in those positions and
- 4:20Speaker 1: use our status to disrupt some of these systems so
- 4:24Speaker 1: that other women, other minorities can walk through the doors.
- 4:27Speaker 1: Well know, It's really interesting because I have, you know,
- 4:29Speaker 1: my company, fifteen Media, Inc. I represent talent, and some
- 4:34Speaker 1: of my talents are entrepreneurs. So I have two female entrepreneurs.
- 4:38Speaker 1: One owns a nothing but Buntcaches franchise and one is
- 4:41Speaker 1: a founder of a pancake, biscuit and waffle mix. And
- 4:46Speaker 1: I took one out to dinner one Saturday night and
- 4:50Speaker 1: just talking about a career, where where she was at.
- 4:52Speaker 1: And as soon as I she left, it was about
- 4:54Speaker 1: eight thirty night, she went back to work. This is Saturday, right,
- 4:58Speaker 1: And in the following weekend, I the other person out
- 5:01Speaker 1: to dinner and uh, the exact same place, and we
- 5:06Speaker 1: wrapped about nine thirty and she went back to work.
- 5:08Speaker 1: And both these ladies are single. And I talked to
- 5:11Speaker 1: the next goo, I said, where is the personal life?
- 5:16Speaker 1: You know, see, this lifestyle has always been somewhat acceptable,
- 5:20Speaker 1: and men, you know, they go to work and and
- 5:23Speaker 1: just work work, work, work, work, and sometimes the woman's
- 5:27Speaker 1: they're waiting and their life moves on because the woman's
- 5:31Speaker 1: their wait. Now with the women taking on that similar role,
- 5:35Speaker 1: who's waiting on them? And that's well, that was some
- 5:39Speaker 1: of the strong takeaway I took from the book as well,
- 5:41Speaker 1: and I wanted to share that story because as women
- 5:44Speaker 1: grow as entrepreneurs or boss ladies, something else is, something
- 5:48Speaker 1: else is being carved away, and that's their social life.
- 5:51Speaker 1: How do they balance that? Talk to me, Well, first
- 5:55Speaker 1: of all, I think you make a great observation is
- 5:58Speaker 1: that traditionally, society is used to men playing that role,
- 6:03Speaker 1: the role of working extra hours, the role of being
- 6:07Speaker 1: away from the household. And you know, our patriarchal system
- 6:11Speaker 1: acknowledges that, rewards men for that, applause them for that.
- 6:15Speaker 1: But when a woman takes on that same role, somehow
- 6:17Speaker 1: people start asking her this very question you just asked, Well,
- 6:21Speaker 1: how do you balance that? I want you to think
- 6:24Speaker 1: about how many men have you asked? And I know
- 6:27Speaker 1: you represent a lot of high powered men, very successful men,
- 6:31Speaker 1: and you know, oftentimes you may have done it because
- 6:33Speaker 1: you're progressive, but I don't see a lot of folks
- 6:36Speaker 1: asking men that question. So let's start there. We've got
- 6:40Speaker 1: to change this notion that there are traditional roles and
- 6:43Speaker 1: their roles that women play and their roles that men play,
- 6:47Speaker 1: because women have every right to just like the two
- 6:51Speaker 1: entrepreneurs you represent, to be as hard charging as they
- 6:54Speaker 1: want to, as they choosed to be in their careers,
- 6:56Speaker 1: and and there shouldn't be any judgment around that. And
- 7:00Speaker 1: it is a lot of pressure for women to constantly here, well,
- 7:03Speaker 1: how are you gonna make time for a man? How
- 7:05Speaker 1: are you gonna take make time for a family, How
- 7:07Speaker 1: are you gonna make time for kids? What about your
- 7:09Speaker 1: social life? I'm good with that as long as we're
- 7:12Speaker 1: asking our sons, our brothers, and the men in our
- 7:16Speaker 1: lives those same questions. And that's what this whole book
- 7:18Speaker 1: is about, because a woman has every right to make
- 7:21Speaker 1: her career her first priority in the same way that
- 7:23Speaker 1: men have done throughout the ages. So if those women
- 7:27Speaker 1: you represent are fine going to work at nine three,
- 7:30Speaker 1: I used to be that person. I'm good with it.
- 7:33Speaker 1: So I know. Come on, now, you have a beautiful family, Okay,
- 7:40Speaker 1: I do, But so I worked those hours. You are
- 7:44Speaker 1: not building anything. Ain't nobody building no business nine to five?
- 7:49Speaker 1: That saith the way the world works. I wish we
- 7:51Speaker 1: could do it. I didn't build mine, not run several
- 7:55Speaker 1: very successful companies that in the debate. In the debate,
- 8:00Speaker 1: this conversation is that you have the married woman with
- 8:02Speaker 1: a structure you know if she left at nine thirty
- 8:05Speaker 1: after dinner or eight thirty after dinner went back to work.
- 8:08Speaker 1: That lifestyle is you know, understood. But when you still
- 8:12Speaker 1: trying to pursue or maybe trying to have a life
- 8:15Speaker 1: where you want to bring another partner into your life,
- 8:17Speaker 1: how do you know whether it's a man? Fine ways,
- 8:22Speaker 1: My point is that woman is smart enough to run
- 8:24Speaker 1: that business. Only that coming. She knows when let's go home,
- 8:28Speaker 1: she knows when to go to the club, she knows
- 8:30Speaker 1: when to jump online and gold end or whatever we
- 8:35Speaker 1: gotta check for her like that. That's my point. Every option,
- 8:39Speaker 1: that ability to manage her business, manage social wife. That's
- 8:44Speaker 1: what I tell you. I love this book. You see
- 8:47Speaker 1: this book creates conversation. That is why I was so
- 8:50Speaker 1: excited because with her and we're in a dialogue. We've
- 8:53Speaker 1: never been a dialogue. I'm cutting off, she cutting me
- 8:55Speaker 1: off because there are stereotypes we have to delive with
- 9:00Speaker 1: and stereotypes that women are dealing with. Is that you're
- 9:03Speaker 1: supposed to be there. It's a very very good, uh
- 9:07Speaker 1: drama I call it's called the Johnson's. It's on Bounce
- 9:10Speaker 1: TV about these four black males. It's called Johns because
- 9:13Speaker 1: all of them last name in high school last name
- 9:15Speaker 1: of Johnson. And one of the characters played by Thomas Q.
- 9:19Speaker 1: Jones is his name is Omar, and he's the more
- 9:21Speaker 1: chauvinistic and his wife is the more aggressive, righte. You know,
- 9:26Speaker 1: she's out there with on business mind and he carries
- 9:28Speaker 1: those little stereotypes. You know, she's trying to ward the
- 9:31Speaker 1: parents in the family. You know, you know, I want
- 9:34Speaker 1: her at home when I get at home, I want
- 9:36Speaker 1: her cooking. And a lot of men are still dealing
- 9:40Speaker 1: with that mentality, and a lot of women have to
- 9:43Speaker 1: deal with it at the work environment. Correct, Oh, absolutely,
- 9:48Speaker 1: Now how do they get dude, Well, I guess what
- 9:51Speaker 1: I'm saying is that I'm all about women being successful.
- 9:56Speaker 1: But but the stereotypes and the expectations and the ability
- 10:00Speaker 1: and then the look, because you talk about that, apparents
- 10:04Speaker 1: plays a role. You know, how you come to work
- 10:07Speaker 1: versus how man comes to work, or a man doesn't
- 10:10Speaker 1: wear makeup to work, a woman don't wear makeup to work.
- 10:12Speaker 1: There's a problem. Okay, while you looking like that, while
- 10:15Speaker 1: your hair is not like this way, So a man
- 10:18Speaker 1: is delivered gives give us a lot of days off
- 10:21Speaker 1: where you know, a woman can't have a bad hair day,
- 10:23Speaker 1: so these things are we transitioning a word from that?
- 10:27Speaker 1: Are we getting better out of the REVA? Talk to me, Oh,
- 10:31Speaker 1: you know what we are doing. We're having these conversations.
- 10:34Speaker 1: I don't know that we are active. We're changing the systems,
- 10:39Speaker 1: but we can't fix what we don't acknowledge. So we
- 10:42Speaker 1: are taking a very big step, I would say. And
- 10:45Speaker 1: books like these and other books are are starting to
- 10:49Speaker 1: bring into the light the issues because for years we've
- 10:52Speaker 1: been in denial because a lot of men will say
- 10:54Speaker 1: what a woman complained about. I worked next to a woman,
- 10:57Speaker 1: or my boss is a woman, and they can point
- 10:59Speaker 1: to Hama Haris or Nancy Pelosi or you know, Kesha
- 11:03Speaker 1: lands Bottoms, or they'll they'll point to one or two
- 11:07Speaker 1: successful women and say, we don't have a problem. And
- 11:10Speaker 1: that's a mistake because you know, in every industry, right,
- 11:14Speaker 1: you can always point to some superstars, right, you can
- 11:17Speaker 1: always point to those guys that are in the NBA
- 11:20Speaker 1: that are you know, have a hundred million plus contract,
- 11:22Speaker 1: But we know that's not the majority of those folks
- 11:25Speaker 1: that make it into the NBA. They get you know,
- 11:28Speaker 1: shuttled out, that end up in injuries, that end up
- 11:30Speaker 1: broke at the end of their careers, who never make
- 11:32Speaker 1: that kind of money. So you never study a problem
- 11:35Speaker 1: by looking at the outliers. So when we look at
- 11:37Speaker 1: the issues with women, we can't just look at the outliers.
- 11:41Speaker 1: We got to look at the majority. And we know
- 11:42Speaker 1: the majority of women still make less per dollar than men.
- 11:46Speaker 1: And we know, as it relates to Black and brown women,
- 11:49Speaker 1: even though we're the most educated Black women demographic in
- 11:52Speaker 1: this country, we still don't make the same amount of
- 11:55Speaker 1: money as black men and as white men and even
- 11:58Speaker 1: white women. So we gotta look at, you know, the macro,
- 12:02Speaker 1: and in terms of the macro, women are nowhere near
- 12:05Speaker 1: where we should be. Forty four CEO's female of Fortune
- 12:10Speaker 1: five companies, two or three of those forty four black.
- 12:13Speaker 1: That's that's an abysmal number to have to report out.
- 12:17Speaker 1: And in any given year, that number for Black women
- 12:20Speaker 1: CEOs of Fortune five companies, despite our gains and education,
- 12:25Speaker 1: that number zero. So when you say are we're making progress,
- 12:29Speaker 1: it's kind of like the civil rights movement and the
- 12:31Speaker 1: progress we make as African Americans. There's this yan and
- 12:34Speaker 1: yang after George Floyd Murder visual on TV. Everybody is,
- 12:40Speaker 1: you know, changing their social media feeds, bringing in diversity trainers,
- 12:45Speaker 1: donating money to black causes and organizations. Six months after that,
- 12:49Speaker 1: you know, we're talking about suppressive voting laws. We're talking
- 12:54Speaker 1: about preventing schools from teaching critical race theory or black
- 12:59Speaker 1: history at all, even using the word slavery to describe slavery,
- 13:05Speaker 1: trying to come up with some words to sugarcoat that.
- 13:07Speaker 1: So I think with the women's movement, we've seen the
- 13:10Speaker 1: same kind of reaction in this country. They're periods of
- 13:13Speaker 1: great advance and then there's periods of you know, regression.
- 13:18Speaker 1: And I would say, right now, this is pretty much
- 13:20Speaker 1: a satis quo. We're having the conversations, but a lot
- 13:23Speaker 1: of folks are still in denial. We'll be right back
- 13:26Speaker 1: with more Money Making Conversations Masterclass with Rushan McDonald. Now,
- 13:32Speaker 1: let's return to Money Making Conversations Masterclass with Rushan McDonald. Uh.
- 13:38Speaker 1: The thing about I'm speaking to Reva Martina, very talented,
- 13:41Speaker 1: bestselling authur, civil rights advocate, attorney, health advocate, her book Awakening.
- 13:47Speaker 1: I think it's perfectly named Awakening, Ladies leadership in your lives.
- 13:51Speaker 1: We've been told there are a couple of things. There
- 13:53Speaker 1: are a lot of the chapters are just uh that
- 13:56Speaker 1: the chapters draw you in. Working within the sisters is
- 13:58Speaker 1: not enough rebuilding this US since benefits everyone. Expectations, norms,
- 14:03Speaker 1: and cultural are holding us back. I think that's what
- 14:05Speaker 1: we just talked about, the culture of what people think,
- 14:09Speaker 1: mentors of men and leaning into closed doors. How did
- 14:12Speaker 1: we get here? How did we get here? Are we
- 14:15Speaker 1: just deal on that same train and so much that
- 14:19Speaker 1: when you go back to go back to Europe, the
- 14:22Speaker 1: culture came over with Columbus and it just carried over
- 14:26Speaker 1: and the in the society, and it may side of
- 14:30Speaker 1: the women can vote, you know, women can where many
- 14:33Speaker 1: skirt if they want to. But still then you get
- 14:35Speaker 1: roll versus Wade overturned by the Supreme Court. So talk
- 14:40Speaker 1: to me, Yeah, how do we get here? We got
- 14:43Speaker 1: here because you know, from the beginning of the founding
- 14:46Speaker 1: of the US, it was always uh designed to be
- 14:50Speaker 1: a patriarchal structure where men were at the top and
- 14:53Speaker 1: women were subjugated to men. For many years, women couldn't
- 14:57Speaker 1: even own property in this country. We had to whole
- 15:00Speaker 1: property in the names of hold it through our relationship
- 15:06Speaker 1: with our fathers, our brothers, or through to a man.
- 15:11Speaker 1: So women have always been second class citizens. It was
- 15:14Speaker 1: designed that way. The white men that founded this country
- 15:18Speaker 1: did not view women as being equals, as they did
- 15:21Speaker 1: not view the African slave that they had brought over
- 15:24Speaker 1: to the US as being equals either. Now women gained
- 15:28Speaker 1: more rights than African Americans in this country, they gained
- 15:31Speaker 1: them sooner. But still this is a patriarchal society. So
- 15:35Speaker 1: it's by design that we are here, Richie. It's not
- 15:38Speaker 1: by happenstances. It's not by accident. This was the way
- 15:42Speaker 1: the country was was designed to be, and we are
- 15:45Speaker 1: now in a country that is particularly as it relates
- 15:48Speaker 1: to voters. More than voters in this country are women.
- 15:51Speaker 1: So we we are at a point where we have
- 15:54Speaker 1: the mass where we can challenge some of these systems,
- 15:57Speaker 1: where we can say, okay, that might have been the
- 16:00Speaker 1: ideal of the founding fathers, but we you know, when
- 16:04Speaker 1: you know more, you do differently, right, when you know better,
- 16:07Speaker 1: you do better. So now we know that there is
- 16:10Speaker 1: no g uh, you know, the genetic differences there there
- 16:13Speaker 1: are no biological differences that dictate men having superiority over women,
- 16:21Speaker 1: and we have to change that because I don't want
- 16:23Speaker 1: my daughters. You don't want your daughters. Not that men
- 16:25Speaker 1: all the time, men who refuse to accept that sexism
- 16:31Speaker 1: and gender bias is real. I say, well, you want
- 16:33Speaker 1: to send your daughter into a company where all the
- 16:36Speaker 1: people in the c suite are white men? What message
- 16:39Speaker 1: does that send to your daughter about her opportunities and
- 16:42Speaker 1: her chances of getting to the c suite? Don't you
- 16:45Speaker 1: think your daughter is worthy if she works hard enough,
- 16:48Speaker 1: if she has the expertise, the talent, the skills, that
- 16:51Speaker 1: she should have an opportunity to be in the top
- 16:54Speaker 1: positions corporation. So men, are you know? You guys are funny.
- 16:57Speaker 1: You have this compartmentalizing, It goes it in your brain.
- 17:01Speaker 1: You can go into a company, uh and feel completely
- 17:04Speaker 1: from you said you guys, You said you guys, man brothers.
- 17:11Speaker 1: You hang out with some of those companies that can
- 17:15Speaker 1: go into those companies and see that every man, every
- 17:18Speaker 1: position at the top of that company is filled by
- 17:20Speaker 1: a man. But yet I have daughters at home that
- 17:23Speaker 1: they want to have the best, They want to have
- 17:26Speaker 1: every opportunity. So you know, I often challengement when Wait
- 17:29Speaker 1: a minute, what's gonna happen when your daughter walks into
- 17:33Speaker 1: that corporation those same men that you hang out with
- 17:36Speaker 1: on the golf course and the club and the cigar
- 17:39Speaker 1: bar and get five to that. You know, systemically and
- 17:43Speaker 1: systematically excluding women. Why are you gonna treat your daughter
- 17:46Speaker 1: any differently? Right that you just read it. Now, you
- 17:49Speaker 1: know you said something that the women in America are
- 17:53Speaker 1: qualified to vote. Now we can pour fingers that man.
- 17:56Speaker 1: We said, hey, man, you're the problem. But we also
- 17:59Speaker 1: know that as a percentage of women that are holding
- 18:01Speaker 1: the line for these stereotypes. Oh my god, Yes, we're
- 18:06Speaker 1: talking about let's get to our sisters. Yeah, equal opportunity, color,
- 18:11Speaker 1: outer right. So you're right. And here's why, you know why,
- 18:16Speaker 1: rich Out, you're so right. A lot of women we
- 18:18Speaker 1: have bought into these patriots are goal concepts, norms, and traditions. Yes,
- 18:24Speaker 1: sometimes a woman in a job is another woman's worst.
- 18:27Speaker 1: In a lot of women, they get to the top.
- 18:31Speaker 1: I just had this conversation with an author of a book.
- 18:33Speaker 1: Her name is called Beck, wrote a book called white Feminism,
- 18:36Speaker 1: and she talked about herself. She's a woman of color.
- 18:40Speaker 1: But when you get into these positions of power. You
- 18:43Speaker 1: gotta make sure that you don't take on the attributes
- 18:46Speaker 1: of the men who are in those positions, because some
- 18:49Speaker 1: people get comfortable being the only one. Some women want
- 18:52Speaker 1: to be the only person in that c suite. They
- 18:54Speaker 1: want to be the only woman, you know, that's that's
- 18:57Speaker 1: ever held the title or vice president or president or
- 19:00Speaker 1: whatever that title may be. So women can fall into
- 19:04Speaker 1: those just like black folks can take on the attributes
- 19:08Speaker 1: of white supremacists. They don't come white supremacists, but they
- 19:12Speaker 1: can take on the norms and the traditions and start
- 19:15Speaker 1: talking like them and acting like that. We see that,
- 19:17Speaker 1: We had examples of that where there's Clarence Thomas or uh,
- 19:21Speaker 1: you know Tim Scott in South Carolina. These are black
- 19:24Speaker 1: men who talk about how they pull themselves up by
- 19:27Speaker 1: their boot strings, who deny, in many cases the barriers
- 19:32Speaker 1: that black folks face because of systemic racism. So we're
- 19:35Speaker 1: not gonna call them white supremacists, but they have ideologies
- 19:40Speaker 1: that mirror those of white supremacists, and so many women
- 19:44Speaker 1: can do the same. We can take on uh. And
- 19:47Speaker 1: we have to check ourselves because if you are constantly
- 19:50Speaker 1: inundated with those messages is very easy for you to
- 19:52Speaker 1: fall prey to those very messages that that you should
- 19:55Speaker 1: be fighting against as um. You know, first of all,
- 20:00Speaker 1: you know me, I'm enjoying this. It's just like I
- 20:02Speaker 1: said this this That's why I enjoyed this book because
- 20:04Speaker 1: it's going to create conversation. Uh definitely, UM, positive debate.
- 20:09Speaker 1: I think because I think that it's about the education
- 20:12Speaker 1: speaking of Reva national bestselling author Reva Martin, ladies leadership
- 20:17Speaker 1: and the lies we've been told. The book is called awakening.
- 20:20Speaker 1: I said the word of breakning because whenever you start
- 20:22Speaker 1: shifting gears on people, they feel that they're about to
- 20:25Speaker 1: get left out. In a very popular word that's been
- 20:28Speaker 1: generating a lot of buzz the last couple years has
- 20:30Speaker 1: been the word counseled. You know, counsel culture. And then
- 20:35Speaker 1: you talk about men are being afraid, have a fear
- 20:38Speaker 1: of being canceled. Talk about that, well, yeah, a lot
- 20:42Speaker 1: of men. And again, this book is not about attacking men.
- 20:45Speaker 1: I am all about inclusivity and collaboration. I know that
- 20:49Speaker 1: we get before you say that, let me let me
- 20:51Speaker 1: let me say that for you know, this book is
- 20:53Speaker 1: not about attacking men. This book is about educating everybody
- 20:56Speaker 1: about awareness, about about the stereotype apes that a person
- 21:01Speaker 1: like with Sean McDonald may assume it's normal and it's
- 21:05Speaker 1: not normal makes people feel uncomfortable. What we've learned through
- 21:09Speaker 1: education is that you know saying if you're an employer
- 21:14Speaker 1: and the and one of your workers comes in and
- 21:16Speaker 1: wear something nice, you might say something or you look
- 21:19Speaker 1: really good, but you never said anything about her work,
- 21:22Speaker 1: but you quick to say something about something that she wears,
- 21:26Speaker 1: or her hair or her makeup. So these are the
- 21:28Speaker 1: things that we're talking about in this conversation. It's like,
- 21:32Speaker 1: you cannot become a better country, you cannot become a
- 21:34Speaker 1: better community unless you're willing to change or questioning your habits.
- 21:40Speaker 1: And not all habits are good habits. And so I
- 21:42Speaker 1: just wanted to say that before she had to feel
- 21:44Speaker 1: that she had to defend her book. Her book needs
- 21:47Speaker 1: no defense. It's an awakening. It's a something like knowledgement,
- 21:50Speaker 1: no information that we as a people black, white, brown Asian,
- 21:55Speaker 1: he need to understand that we need to change. If
- 21:57Speaker 1: we don't change, then the world doesn't get any better.
- 22:00Speaker 1: And we stand in this little narrow scope. It's a
- 22:02Speaker 1: beautiful book. So you can continue your statement, but I
- 22:04Speaker 1: need to step in on my friend and let her know,
- 22:06Speaker 1: don't defend yourself. Your ball is awoke. Thank you. I
- 22:11Speaker 1: appreciate that and that that is so important, and you
- 22:13Speaker 1: said that very well. Yeah, we don't get better if
- 22:17Speaker 1: we don't acknowledge where we need to do better. And
- 22:20Speaker 1: all of us, everybody, we should all be lifelong learners.
- 22:24Speaker 1: I mean, nobody gets to where they are unless they
- 22:27Speaker 1: are willing to be open to new ideas, new concepts,
- 22:31Speaker 1: and to challenging their old ways of thinking. And I
- 22:33Speaker 1: had to do that. In the book, I talked about
- 22:35Speaker 1: the lies that women have been told. I recount five.
- 22:38Speaker 1: Of course there are a lot more than five, top five,
- 22:41Speaker 1: and even one of those lies that was told to
- 22:44Speaker 1: me by the strong black women they raised me. It
- 22:47Speaker 1: was painful for me having to work through uh saying
- 22:51Speaker 1: something that could be perceived as negative about what they
- 22:55Speaker 1: taught me, because I revere these women in such an
- 22:57Speaker 1: amazing way. But sometimes even thing is that your mama
- 23:00Speaker 1: and your grandmama and people you love you have to
- 23:03Speaker 1: challenge what they told you, not because they were maliciously
- 23:06Speaker 1: told to you, but you know, our parents teach us
- 23:08Speaker 1: what they were taught and a lot of times what
- 23:11Speaker 1: they have been talked could be wrong, and so they've
- 23:14Speaker 1: passed down to you disinformation or wrong information, and you
- 23:18Speaker 1: gotta break out of that. So this is all about
- 23:21Speaker 1: all of our awakening mind as well, coming to grips
- 23:24Speaker 1: with a lot of what I was taught as a
- 23:26Speaker 1: younger woman. Uh doesn't serve me well in the country
- 23:29Speaker 1: that we live in today, and that I had to
- 23:31Speaker 1: shed some of the notions I had. You know, I'm
- 23:34Speaker 1: wound work aholic what people call work aholic. I don't
- 23:37Speaker 1: call myself a workholig. I love when I love something,
- 23:40Speaker 1: I work hard at it, and to me, it's not
- 23:42Speaker 1: work when you love what you do. But work aholic
- 23:45Speaker 1: is a maejority term that we often used to describe
- 23:48Speaker 1: people that spent a lot of time, you know, in
- 23:50Speaker 1: their profession or what they do. And I always thought,
- 23:53Speaker 1: if I just worked hard, I could solve every problem.
- 23:56Speaker 1: Biggest joke in my family. Whenever you know my kid's husband,
- 23:58Speaker 1: we ever they talking about someone that has a problem,
- 24:01Speaker 1: my first question is will they have a second job?
- 24:07Speaker 1: The job doesn't solve every problem. You know what I
- 24:11Speaker 1: was growing up, problem just got a second job. The
- 24:16Speaker 1: money will solve a lot of problem. Let's be real,
- 24:19Speaker 1: light bills, a lot of gas bills, lot card notes.
- 24:22Speaker 1: You know's inflation. We need to three jobs with this inflation.
- 24:26Speaker 1: There are times we're living in right now, We'll be
- 24:28Speaker 1: right back with more money Making Conversations Masterclass with Rushan McDonald. Now,
- 24:34Speaker 1: let's return to money Making Conversations Masterclass with Rushan McDonald
- 24:40Speaker 1: before I wrap up, because there was a couple of
- 24:42Speaker 1: things I want to talk that just show your fastist
- 24:44Speaker 1: conversations going. And it is a conversation, a conversation that
- 24:47Speaker 1: involves a lot of stereotypes that we live with and
- 24:50Speaker 1: probably die with. Because stereotypes are what they are. They
- 24:52Speaker 1: don't change. Stereotypes allows people to think that racing is
- 24:56Speaker 1: all right because they live in a community where it's
- 24:59Speaker 1: all right. And so if we don't pull down these
- 25:02Speaker 1: for color only signs, or we don't pull down these
- 25:05Speaker 1: these you can't go there. These transgender signs that are
- 25:09Speaker 1: that are really as well educating ourselves. The beauty of
- 25:12Speaker 1: what I like about your book is that you have
- 25:14Speaker 1: to change. There are people are sitting out there going
- 25:17Speaker 1: why do I have to Why do I have to
- 25:19Speaker 1: feel comfortable because because of the fact that there are
- 25:23Speaker 1: a group of people out there, people of color, people
- 25:26Speaker 1: of different genders who have never been comfortable, why can't
- 25:29Speaker 1: they be in American be comfortable too, just because these
- 25:31Speaker 1: stereotypes or quote unquote norms have told you it's all
- 25:35Speaker 1: right to think that way. And before I wrap up,
- 25:37Speaker 1: I wanted to talk about the Mike Pence role. And
- 25:40Speaker 1: there's something that really stood out for me in this book,
- 25:42Speaker 1: and I think that it is the hierarchy of stereotypes
- 25:46Speaker 1: that women have to deal with. Talk about the Mike
- 25:48Speaker 1: Pence role. What are Mike Pence uh professors to be
- 25:52Speaker 1: very devout Christian? I don't you know, professor to know
- 25:55Speaker 1: what his his commitment is or his relationship with God is.
- 25:58Speaker 1: So it's not about that. But he talked about taking
- 26:02Speaker 1: his wife with him into meetings with women and not
- 26:07Speaker 1: basically taking any meetings with a woman alone. That didn't
- 26:10Speaker 1: you know that his wife wasn't a part of And
- 26:13Speaker 1: as much as he thought that that was, I don't know,
- 26:15Speaker 1: a good ideal, maybe made him seem like a pious
- 26:18Speaker 1: Christian man. That's very hormful to women because that says that,
- 26:23Speaker 1: you know, women are going to be excluded from a
- 26:26Speaker 1: lot of meetings. If you have to a man bring
- 26:29Speaker 1: your wife to every meeting with a woman, you're that's
- 26:33Speaker 1: gonna buy definition of women the number of meetings that
- 26:36Speaker 1: you have with your wife. And it says that men
- 26:38Speaker 1: and women can't be professional without there being some kind
- 26:42Speaker 1: of sexual tension or some kind of you know, inappropriate
- 26:46Speaker 1: conduct going on. And that's just foolishness to me. I
- 26:49Speaker 1: spent the while first him, fifteen years of my career
- 26:52Speaker 1: as a lawyer, working pretty one on one with my
- 26:56Speaker 1: law partner. We would travel together across Los Angeles and
- 27:00Speaker 1: a car to three hours meeting clients, going to court,
- 27:04Speaker 1: going to business meetings, going to business events. We spent
- 27:07Speaker 1: hours along. We'd be in our law firm at night
- 27:09Speaker 1: alone together to eleven twelve o'clock at night working on cases,
- 27:13Speaker 1: getting ready for trials. He was married, I was married.
- 27:16Speaker 1: I respected his boundaries, he respected my boundaries, And I
- 27:20Speaker 1: don't want my daughter, your daughter, twenty five year old
- 27:23Speaker 1: women going into a workplace having to meet with men
- 27:27Speaker 1: who are so insecure, are so out of control, so
- 27:31Speaker 1: you know, can't control there. I don't know their their
- 27:33Speaker 1: hormones or whatever, that they can't have a business meeting
- 27:36Speaker 1: that doesn't involve some kind of sexual like his attention
- 27:40Speaker 1: or any windows or something. So that's ridiculous. This two.
- 27:43Speaker 1: Everybody should be able to control their impulses. I should
- 27:46Speaker 1: be able to meet with you married single. You should
- 27:48Speaker 1: be able to meet with me married. Things shouldn't matter.
- 27:51Speaker 1: You know, we gotta hand sometimes you just gotta handle
- 27:53Speaker 1: the business. And everybody doesn't have the luxury of traveling
- 27:56Speaker 1: with their spouse and being able to take them into
- 27:59Speaker 1: a meeting. The lot of times a spouse and the
- 28:01Speaker 1: meeting is a distraction. If your wife doesn't have anything
- 28:04Speaker 1: to do with our business, why do I want her
- 28:06Speaker 1: in this meeting? Well, I'll tell you this. This book
- 28:08Speaker 1: has a lot of compelling stories just like this. You know,
- 28:11Speaker 1: it's a story about the dentists. Uh, it's a lot
- 28:15Speaker 1: of really great stories and that and I would say
- 28:17Speaker 1: this is that it really does. I think that Mike
- 28:20Speaker 1: Pence rule is the most the most It is the
- 28:23Speaker 1: most harmful rule because it does stereotype women to be
- 28:29Speaker 1: the aggressor, like they have an agenda. Like if you're
- 28:32Speaker 1: in the rown in the room along with a woman,
- 28:34Speaker 1: you know what's gonna happen. You know what they're gonna think.
- 28:37Speaker 1: You know, you know, come out of the room. You'all
- 28:40Speaker 1: only two been in the room. Somebody gonna take a
- 28:42Speaker 1: picture you. It leads to a lot of things that
- 28:45Speaker 1: that that mislead relationships that should be effective, should be wholesome,
- 28:50Speaker 1: should be But then, but then he's operating in the
- 28:53Speaker 1: world that that situation has happened many times, the Gary
- 28:57Speaker 1: Hearts that you know, former President Jim Jimmy, you know
- 29:01Speaker 1: Bill Clinton. So it's a lot of situations out there.
- 29:03Speaker 1: They have exploded to the level I don't respect it,
- 29:06Speaker 1: and I acknowledge that he may be overly concerned about
- 29:10Speaker 1: being in the room with a group of women, all
- 29:12Speaker 1: single woman without his wife. He should stop that practice.
- 29:15Speaker 1: But again, your book, UH sparked a lot of conversation.
- 29:19Speaker 1: We're going on thirty minutes, my friend, it doesn't feel
- 29:21Speaker 1: like thirty minutes. It's called the Awakening. I'm talking to, UH.
- 29:25Speaker 1: Civil rights advocate, attorney, health advocate. UH. Great, great personality
- 29:30Speaker 1: you see on CNN Headline News. UH. You can catch
- 29:33Speaker 1: you on kt kpl A that ha a Smile East
- 29:36Speaker 1: radio station in Los Angeles Talk eighty or Reva Martin
- 29:40Speaker 1: or Reva Martin out loud. Her book is out loud.
- 29:43Speaker 1: Please get it. Awakening Ladies, Leadership lies We've been told.
- 29:47Speaker 1: Thank you for coming to my show again, Miss Martin.
- 29:50Speaker 1: Thank you Quick Club. I don't know when this will air,
- 29:53Speaker 1: but hopefully uh August twelve, you haven't, I think it is.
- 29:59Speaker 1: I will be talking about my book at Edgartown Books
- 30:04Speaker 1: in Martha's Vineyard. So if any of your viewers are
- 30:08Speaker 1: going to be in the vineyard on Martha's Vineyard on
- 30:12Speaker 1: this Thursday, I would go up for you to stop
- 30:15Speaker 1: by at two o'clock at one because it would air
- 30:18Speaker 1: before that date. Give me the information one more time. Thursday,
- 30:23Speaker 1: August eleven, Edgartown Books in Martha's Vineyard, I will be
- 30:29Speaker 1: there talking about Awakening at two pm that's Eastern Standard time.
- 30:34Speaker 1: Stop by. I'd love to say hello to you at
- 30:37Speaker 1: your comments, your feedback on the book, and whatever else
- 30:41Speaker 1: you may be thinking about. But yeah, I'm super excited.
- 30:44Speaker 1: I'll be in Martha's Vineyard for the week of August
- 30:46Speaker 1: eighth through the thirteenth. There's tons of great stuff going on,
- 30:50Speaker 1: film festival, comedy festival, lots of political events going on,
- 30:54Speaker 1: and I said I'll be presenting Awakening at Edgar Town
- 30:58Speaker 1: Books on Thursday Day. Obviously you have a two pm awesome.
- 31:02Speaker 1: Thank you Riva Morting for coming on Money Making Conversation Masterclass.
- 31:05Speaker 1: You are amazing. Thank you cool. I always tell people,
- 31:09Speaker 1: if you have a gift, always leave with your gifts.
- 31:11Speaker 1: And then again, thank you for listening watching. If you
- 31:14Speaker 1: want to see any of my episodes, please go to
- 31:16Speaker 1: money Making Conversation dot com. I'm Sean McDonald. I am
- 31:19Speaker 1: your host.