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Messy Advice... | Am I Failing If I Pull Back? · Neighbourly: Real Stories of Care and Community

• 0:00
  This one's for anyone who's ever told someone, I'm good, while quietly
• 0:04
  googling burnout symptoms at 2AM. Burnout doesn't always
• 0:07
  look like a breakdown, sometimes it looks like crying in a Costco
• 0:11
  parking lot because they're at a rotisserie chicken and that was your
• 0:15
  one win for the day. You sign the volunteer form. By week three,
• 0:18
  you're running the entire Sunday team you weren't even part of and hiding
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  behind a potted plant to avoid being asked again. Welcome to Messy Advice
• 0:26
  for People Who Care, a summer series from Journey with Care for people
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  who care deeply, try their best, and sometimes wonder if
• 0:33
  burnout is just their personality now. We're talking about
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  caregiving, boundaries, burnout, and the not so clear moments of loving
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  others well, minus the formulas. This is Johan on
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  the edge of helpful, slightly crispy around the edges, but
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  still showing up. Sometimes the
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  hardest thing to admit is that we've hit a wall, especially when
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  people count on us to keep showing up. Today's question gets
• 0:59
  into that exact tension. I used to be someone
• 1:03
  people can count on, but lately, I just don't
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  have it in me. Am I failing if I pull back?
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  That's not just a fair question. It's one I think more people are
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  quietly carrying than we realize. It hits on that deep
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  unspoken fear. What if I'm not okay and people still need me to
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  be? According to a 2022 Indeed Canada
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  report, 53 of Canadian workers said they were burned
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  out, up from forty percent just two years earlier.
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  So if you're feeling emotionally spent, you're not dramatic.
• 1:38
  You're trending, which is probably the least comforting way of saying
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  you're not alone. But stats don't tell you what it feels like at
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  06:30AM, checking your messages with a pit in your stomach
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  and nothing left in the tank. Let's talk about that.
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  Now I love the heart behind showing up, but
• 1:57
  somewhere along the line, we turned it into a competitive sport, and the
• 2:00
  gold medal goes whoever cancels rest the fastest in the name of being
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  available. Imagine this. You're two hours into your
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  workday, three tabs deep into unread emails, and someone texts,
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  hey. Can you help me out with something small? You're exhausted.
• 2:17
  But you type, sure. I'm happy to help because the
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  guilt hits faster than the boundary. And suddenly, you're in full
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  triage mode, overfunctioning like your spiritual worth depends on
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  it. Not because you want to, but because saying no
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  feels like a betrayal. Consider this. Let's
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  get biblical. Biblical. In first
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  Kings 19, Elijah has just come off a massive spiritual
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  wind. Fire from heaven, the prophets of Baal
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  exposed, people falling on their knees in worship.
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  By all accounts, it's a career defining moment for a prophet.
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  And then he crashes, and he crashes
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  hard. He runs into the wilderness, lies down under a
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  bush, and basically tells God, I've had enough.
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  I'm done. He's not dramatic. He's depleted.
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  And what does God do? Not a lecture. Not a
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  motivational speech. No. Let's talk about your lack
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  in faith. Instead, God sends an angel,
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  and God sends an angel of snacks. And he says,
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  get up and eat. And then Elijah falls asleep again,
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  so the angel comes back with more food. It's like divine
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  DoorDash with a side of try again later. God
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  doesn't rush Elijah. He doesn't push him past his limits.
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  He gives him space, silence, rest,
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  and then, only then, he whispers. Not in fire,
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  not in wind, not in earthquakes, but in
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  stillness. This isn't just about burnout. It's about how
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  god responds to our breaking point with care,
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  with gentleness, with a kind of kindness that doesn't require
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  us to prove we're still useful. Sometimes the most
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  spiritual thing you can do is take a nap and eat something
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  warm. So maybe the most faithful thing you could do this
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  week is nap. Not out of laziness, but a way
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  of saying, I trust that everything doesn't depend on me.
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  Burnout doesn't mean that you've failed. It means that you've been carrying more than you
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  were meant to. Maybe it's time to set something down, not
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  everything, just something. Start there. And, hey,
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  if that landed somewhere in your chest, you're not alone. A lot of us are
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  trying to serve from empty wells and we don't have to.
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  And if you wanna join a conversation with like minded people, join us on the
• 4:43
  Care Impact podcast group on Facebook. And until next time,
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  keep loving, keep laughing, and if your search history includes
• 4:51
  burnout symptoms or how to fake a sabbatical, take
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  that as your sign not to fake it, actually rest,
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  and always remember to stay curious.