Latest / No Latency / NL: SideQuest - Glitchmas Greed - Pt4 Not so Whys

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NL: SideQuest - Glitchmas Greed - Pt4 Not so Whys · No Latency

0:01
Last time on no latency side quest you.
0:04
Don't want to come up to me and challenge me?
0:06
I will show you. Yeah, I second that.
0:07
This stream is blowing up. I'm going to need a few more I.
0:09
Didn't expect to get this far. Whatever keeps your head in the
0:12
game. I'm Lumen, very nice.
0:13
Well, I'd like to go to the mainframe computer.
0:15
Whoopsie. What are they putting in this
0:16
game? Symptoms of rage, violence and
0:19
inhumanity. Christmas keeps on giving.
0:22
Oh, I love a. Backdoor tell me all.
0:23
I just walk in. Someone's been watching too much
0:25
Evangelion. Is your brother Weiss?
0:28
I mean the streaming you up thing is real bad but I feel
0:30
like the cup and ball thing was over the line.
0:32
Guys, I don't think he's happy. Hey, are they?
0:34
Going to let you walk out of here, Holy.
0:35
Shit dude, let's. Disconnect them first and then
0:37
we can ask questions once. They're not going to fry their
0:39
brain out. If you need me to do something,
0:41
just tell me. Rack up a bunch of Subs later,
0:43
let's get you out of here. Guys, they already said that
0:45
twice left we're. Going to use the side door.
0:46
The guards gave us the code. The camera over there doesn't
0:49
work. Can't believe I'm lucky enough
1:01
to find people like you. I guess this is a Christmas
1:05
miracle. I would you be willing to do an
1:10
interview after all this to? Kind of a be out of the city
1:13
Dick. Right, Yes, no.
1:15
I after doubt. Yes.
1:17
The. Fuck, people are going to
1:20
fucking die. You're.
1:22
Right. You don't want what's in my
1:25
head. What's in your head?
1:28
Something beyond the Black Wall changed.
1:30
Us. But you?
1:33
You what? Me and my sister went beyond the
1:36
black wall while we were connected.
1:39
Happened. If I could put it into words I'd
1:42
be a millionaire. It was one thing my brother was
1:45
good at. It's probably why he's rich now.
1:47
I've been in that pod since February.
1:50
Oh damn. Almost a full year.
1:55
Yeah, why do you think my fingers are so pruning?
1:57
Fuck. Yeah, you don't smell great
2:00
either, but I'm not going to lie it.
2:03
Comes with net running sweaty business.
2:05
Yeah. Well, let's get you out of the
2:09
shore. And in the meantime, I do want
2:11
to tell you I like the way you say February.
2:14
That was that was good. Thanks, I had elocution lessons
2:18
before. You know that's bullshit.
2:22
How to? Can't hear well, are we doing?
2:27
Just stranded around? Let's get going, yeah?
2:30
Let me let me check out first. Make sure no one's coming this
2:33
way. If they are, I'll try and
2:34
distract them to the front door. Just give me a second to look
2:37
Andy, make sure that no one. 'S coming.
2:39
You open the door and you see genuinely, you guys haven't made
2:42
any noise, you haven't rolled any crit fails when it comes to
2:46
opening doors. Nobody's paying attention to
2:49
you. The cameras are still looping.
2:51
That security guy went to the the break room.
2:55
It's out the door and to the left all.
2:57
Right. Let's go, guys.
2:59
How long does it take to get there?
3:01
In a delamine, probably about 10 minutes.
3:04
Nice. You didn't use my name right?
3:09
He blinks at you twice. Since I used to name it all, you
3:11
have arrived at your destination.
3:13
Oh, thank God. That's cool, that's cool.
3:20
And you arrive outside of the production facility with this
3:25
net runner in tow in the Delamaine vehicle.
3:28
Did you try and hide their identity?
3:33
Did you do anything with them? Oh, with this net, With this net
3:38
runner, Yeah, yeah. Is there a way?
3:45
I was going to say, is there a way I could whip up like an
3:48
avatar real quick that would just kind of like show up on
3:51
him? On stream, like yeah,
3:54
absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
3:55
Something like that. Roll AD 10, see how good it is.
3:58
You got it. No, Oh no dude, you had to do
4:03
this quickly. You do.
4:05
You did an AI and his hands keep on molding together.
4:08
I. Was never.
4:10
I'm not I was never good at this part.
4:12
I usually Commission these. I'm I'm sorry, and it's an older
4:16
avatar. It's one of my older avatars
4:18
too. So it's still got the maid
4:19
costume on it and you know, you look kind of good though one.
4:24
Recognizes me. I don't want them following us.
4:27
Yeah. Is there a are we talking about
4:29
like the camera inside the Della Maine?
4:31
The camera in the Della Maine was not on.
4:33
Also Della mains don't film inside.
4:35
That's the deal. Oh yeah, no, just put a filter
4:38
on them, man. Yeah, there's a filter on them,
4:39
but again, the hands keep on moulding together, extra fingers
4:42
keep appearing and it's just bad.
4:45
You're just getting fake fake. Fake.
4:47
Yeah. It's not my best work.
4:48
It's not my best work. All right.
4:50
I had to go fast. Now this happy company building
4:54
is a little dirtier near an overpass from the corner.
5:00
It's in a construction district and you see the front door to
5:03
your left is an alleyway that leads down to some parking
5:06
spaces in the distance. There's a truck sitting in the
5:10
driveway, ready in the loading Bay.
5:14
You can see one guard just like fucking pissing around on his
5:17
tile, standing outside the front door.
5:22
Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo you. Want to go around the back?
5:28
I I want to just try and walk in.
5:31
I want to see what would happen. I think that they don't care
5:34
here. So just confidence walking in.
5:38
I think if we walked in like we like look, we look like we work
5:41
here, not the other building. Some of us look like I, some of
5:45
us look like rats, but like like possum.
5:49
Possum. Sorry, wrong rodent.
5:52
Not not rodent, actually Persupeal really.
5:55
What are they? Marsupial.
5:56
Come on, guy. So like a koala.
6:02
Kind of neat look. I send him a whole video essay
6:06
on possums and. Just watch all the detent to see
6:11
how good this video essay is. Oh my God, all the possums are
6:16
molding together. I want to spend hold on.
6:19
I want to spend all my luck on this one.
6:22
I'm spending all my luck on this one.
6:26
Five luck. Here we go.
6:27
Yeah. It's a night with priorities.
6:30
I like that it is the best video about possums you've ever seen.
6:34
Yeah. And it's this is Part 1.
6:37
It's three hours and you know, just watch it when you got time.
6:41
Yeah, you already have hit like on the video.
6:43
You've also subscribed to the channel.
6:46
They're Lumen. The other thing though is that's
6:49
a really high roll, so it also gives you a plus one to your
6:52
next two skill checks. That's.
6:56
Nice. Awesome guys, spend luck on
6:59
everything, just say. So, confidence building.
7:04
Let's go. Let's just walk in.
7:07
I love, I love following confidence.
7:10
Yeah, let's do that. OK, I'm I'm just going to slowly
7:14
step back with Cargill and backs and just back.
7:18
Just just be ready for if this doesn't work.
7:22
I'm anticipating it. I think because things have
7:25
worked out thus far fairly easy besides the gunfire in the first
7:30
bit that I, I, I just think that like, yeah, dirtier building.
7:34
We will. This is going to be so smooth.
7:36
Seriously guys, I would like to just walk right up to the front
7:39
door. That's the loading Bay.
7:41
OK, I would like to move away from the loading Bay right up to
7:45
the front door pass this guard just wave just like hey.
7:50
Hey man, just walk. You wait.
7:52
Just by a minute or two. Cool gym, whatever.
7:56
The door's not locked. I can't believe, Oh my God, I
7:58
can't believe that word. This time I know it's a push and
8:01
I'm just going to walk right. And you walk into the lobby of
8:06
this building and there in. I've got Frank on my back.
8:11
Someone has to carry him. He's wrapped himself in a trench
8:16
coat that's hiding his face. And as you step into this
8:19
hallway, you look out towards the factory floor, and they're
8:26
standing in the doorway right after a sign on the ground that
8:30
says be happy is a tallish man. Similar hairstyle to Frank,
8:37
similar build, same nose, but in a very smart business suit.
8:43
And oh, he's pretty far away, so you can kind of hear him
8:46
shouting at people in the room. Would you do this?
8:54
Would who do what? You.
8:56
I'm trying to think right now. I'm going to look over at Frank
8:59
real quick. Hey Frank, I think you might
9:02
have something in your eye. Can you close your eyelids for
9:04
me real quick? Sure.
9:06
Why? I got to, I got to get you got
9:08
like one of the like an eyelash or something in that.
9:10
I got to get that and I don't want to like poke your eye out.
9:12
He does. Do they have lettering on their
9:15
eyelids? No.
9:17
OK, balls alarm. What's going on?
9:22
This is deep lore. Well, hey guys, we got to get to
9:24
work, right? Shit's about to start, right?
9:26
We're going to be going on. We don't want to be Krampuses
9:30
before Christmas, right? Yeah, no, we should be happy.
9:36
To mainframe computer. I'm just following Newman's
9:42
lead. Confidence.
9:43
We're supposed to be going. We're supposed to go.
9:44
You step into the room and you're standing behind.
9:49
We step up to the door and you're now standing just about
9:52
15 feet behind this guy. I'm just I'm just going to wave
9:56
to the guard hi and just I it worked so far.
10:00
Let's. Try this mission.
10:02
Oh shit, wait, I'm decent at talkies.
10:05
OK, hold on. And you get this one.
10:08
Oh my God, you know what? I would like to also use all of
10:13
my luck. All of it now.
10:16
Right now. He's just.
10:19
Ache. It can only pay off.
10:20
It's only a good thing. Only you're right, I've I've
10:23
been shown that gambling is good and I should always do that.
10:30
Amazing. Ah Dang it.
10:32
Ah, Dang it. Ah God, where is this?
10:37
Gotta hit sometime. It's gotta hit sometime.
10:40
OK, persuasion. It's in social. 14 + 8.
10:45
Yep, that's good enough. The That's a very high roll and
10:48
the the security guard looks at you with a gaggle of other
10:50
people and just assumes that you're the night shift and then
10:54
goes back to playing a game on his Agent 0.
10:57
My God. I don't think 14 would have got
10:59
us there, so I'm glad I spent that again.
11:03
Always gamble kids. Because you rolled so high, the
11:06
other thing you notice is that the guy standing in the doorway
11:09
is Mervyn Wise. That could cause a problem.
11:12
He's facing away from you right now.
11:14
I know, but I know the group I'm with and that could cause a
11:17
problem. There's no dead bodies to throw,
11:20
so we we have a little bit of time.
11:22
I mean, I look over to Frank and and and Retro, we just pop him
11:28
now. Is that is that what we do?
11:32
Work get to fucking. Work.
11:35
We're trying to make money this fucking season and if you want
11:38
to get paid at. All.
11:40
Get to fucking work. Me saying this to the workers in
11:44
the room. I can't believe how many people
11:47
have called out the week of Christmas like you have
11:49
something to fucking do. I'm just but boss, you said.
11:52
I didn't say shit. Shut the fuck up, Kenneth.
11:56
Yes. Sir.
11:59
Kenneth. I just want to, I want it noted
12:06
that while he's screaming at other workers.
12:08
I almost go, it's like, yeah, you're right.
12:09
I'm sorry. I'm just going to go get to
12:11
work. Well, some of us can take on
12:17
Pervin. Mervin and other people can go
12:20
and find Frank's sister. He.
12:23
Wants to get something else from this next room.
12:26
Roll Perception. I do.
12:30
I want to see I'm looking at this like there this mainframe
12:34
computer. That's what I'm looking at.
12:36
At the end of the room. Yeah, it looks similar to the
12:38
other one. Right.
12:40
It's almost like the maps I made helped you work out.
12:43
It's without me saying it. Weird.
12:46
Love that though. Neon Pass.
12:47
Yeah, you recognize right in the middle of the machine, you see
12:51
the the little line where the door will open, just like in the
12:55
other room you were just in maybe 20 minutes ago.
12:59
Gotcha. Hey.
13:01
Is anyone else good at talking? That's you, Mr. Pocket.
13:08
I can talk to Mr. Weiss. OK, you distract him.
13:12
I'm gonna go over to that computer over there.
13:15
Is there like, is there like a worker uniform or anything like
13:21
that? I could maybe like grab and put
13:23
on just like a jumpsuit. I can like get on real fast.
13:28
So you're looking through the little cubicle in where the
13:32
security guard is who's playing a game, and behind him are these
13:35
three cabinets. Yep.
13:37
And they have like glass doors. And there's a series of of
13:40
uniforms. And one of the actual lockers
13:43
genuinely says spares. Oh my God.
13:46
Hey, perfect. I just hey, just going to I'm
13:51
talking to the the guy just going to grab a just need a
13:54
spare. Oh shit.
13:56
Did you forget your fucking? Hell yeah, right.
13:59
Here's a mask. Remember that the the the the,
14:04
the chemicals in the red barrels are very caustic and explosives,
14:07
so you know, no smoking inside. Of course, Yeah, yeah.
14:11
Because you probably forgot that if you're dumb enough to forget
14:13
your uniform, you dumb. Fuck man, it's almost Christmas.
14:17
Come on. Yeah, I know.
14:18
It's almost Christmas. How you we haven't hired a new
14:21
person in months dumb ass. He throws you at.
14:24
You should. Know better?
14:31
I just kind of mumble under my breath.
14:32
Thank you and I. Died in my game, fucking Dick.
14:40
Yes, I, I put on this and I'm going to put this on and then
14:45
I'm going to try and make my way.
14:48
Just great. You're something to hang up,
14:50
yeah. Yeah, what's up?
14:54
Forgotten uniforms and turn eddies.
14:55
Let's go. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
15:00
I give him 10. I give him 10 eddies.
15:02
He grabs it and you because you paid you don't have to roll roll
15:06
stealth if you want to move through the room.
15:08
You gotcha. Oh, stealth is.
15:13
Kind of crazy. Do you not have any?
15:16
Yes, you can cause a distraction and that gives them a + 1.
15:19
Lubin was going to go and talk with Mervin.
15:22
Yeah, I guess. I'll do it.
15:24
I'm waiting for that. I'm.
15:25
I'm waiting for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
15:27
Let me find stealth. And you want me to roll that
15:31
now, or do you want to wait? Wait for this distraction.
15:34
Wait for this distraction, because if it rolls really well
15:37
then maybe you'll get an even easier chance.
15:39
I have the stats but not the confidence to talk to someone
15:43
who is screaming lonely. No, no.
15:45
You built that confidence up. You had that confidence going
15:47
through that front door. You, you put, you put that right
15:49
back up. You got that?
15:51
Used it's you're talking to an introvert, you use that meter
15:54
up, it's gone. Like it's OK.
15:58
I'm gonna, I'm gonna walk right up to to behind him here.
16:01
Roll that high. Roll that high.
16:04
Use your luck. Shut up.
16:06
What luck? I get a plus one I think because
16:10
of the. One more plus one.
16:12
Yeah. Yeah, you do.
16:13
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Say yeah, use it.
16:15
Use it. Excuse me, Mr. Weiss.
16:21
Did did you just say my name? Maybe I have an important matter
16:29
to discuss with you, and I think it would be best if we did it in
16:34
private, Sir. He squints his eyes at you.
16:40
Kenneth, do I have any meetings today?
16:42
No, no, no, no. You, you, you wanted to it, it
16:45
says here, shout out workers for not doing enough work.
16:48
That's what you've got scheduled right now.
16:51
This has to do with the beta test Sir.
16:56
Really. Right.
16:58
And you're bringing that to a head executive.
17:01
Why? I feel it would impact profits.
17:11
Well, persuasion. Come on.
17:17
Not conversation, it's persuasion if.
17:19
You want to use conversation? You can, I'm open to that.
17:22
That's fine. OK.
17:24
OK. Let's go.
17:30
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
17:31
Profits. You say fine, Kenneth, make
17:43
these people do more work. You teenager man with the hair.
17:50
Follow me. And he drags you to a staff
17:53
area, opens the door, and you're now in a room with Mervyn Wise.
18:01
You too get the fuck out. And a guard and a worker get out
18:05
of the break room. And now you're alone in the
18:08
break room with Mr. Marvin Wise. Yeah, nothing is more belittling
18:13
than just being called a teenager, man.
18:18
This guy, so the guy's 24, like he does not look like someone
18:22
who could walk in and have any authority to do anything.
18:26
So it's just what, like work at the building?
18:28
Sure I have, man. Now I kind of wish you pulled
18:33
that prank on me, Ryan. Well, you could pull a brake on
18:40
him. You do have a gun.
18:42
He doesn't know it's not loaded. That's true.
18:45
Oh. Fuck.
18:49
And while you're deciding that neon, you are sneaking into the
18:52
room. I am.
18:55
That he he rolled A20 which is insane.
18:58
Yeah. So.
19:00
Great. You get a you get a bonus to
19:02
this room and to look like a worker it will not cost a lot.
19:07
OK gotcha. All I got I feel like all I got
19:10
to do is just not crit fail on this here we.
19:16
Go. Why did you say that out loud?
19:18
Hold on. Wait, wait, wait.
19:19
Oh, you. Have someone has an.
19:21
Inspiration. Someone does, then the other one
19:25
does. Oh yeah.
19:26
Yeah. I've been waiting.
19:29
Yeah, hold, hold off, hold, hold off because there's no possible
19:32
way. Yeah.
19:32
There's. No.
19:34
Way. Yes, exactly.
19:36
I like those odds. Never tell me the odds.
19:40
All right, here we go. Pretty medium, Pretty medium,
19:45
Pretty medium. It is a simple task to look like
19:51
a worker in here and according to rules as written a simple
19:55
task is ADV 9. Literally on this table I can
20:02
show you on this table a simple class of mine.
20:05
Yeah, you don't got to show me, I think.
20:07
Yeah, I think it's like it's so OK, Got.
20:10
Yeah, he's got the uniform on backwards, probably.
20:14
Yeah. He makes his way across the room
20:20
over to this thing. Neon, you're, you're streaming
20:23
this whole thing too, right? Yeah, I am.
20:26
I am. Hey Cargill, you notice any
20:29
defenses while Neon streaming? I know that you've been keeping
20:33
an eye on everything, so like since you've been watching the
20:36
stream, you notice anything out of the ordinary I've.
20:39
Been keeping a very careful eye on things and one thing I've
20:42
noticed is that and let's see what role would I roll to see if
20:47
I've noticed any specific defenses.
20:50
The the the basic bench answer is persuasion.
20:54
If you want to argue something else a little twistier, then you
20:58
may all. Right, give me a second.
21:01
My cat has walked in front of the screen and I can get him to
21:04
stop. We take breaks for all cats.
21:08
There we go, take a second tax. Meow, what up there?
21:16
Man, hey, that's Britt. That's Britt.
21:19
Hey, that's adorable. OK.
21:23
Anyway, what did you say should be wrong?
21:25
Theoretically. Persuasion.
21:26
Persuasion. Or you can not persuasion, sorry
21:30
perception. That's an awareness one.
21:34
I'm fine with perception. Let's see how it goes.
21:36
I'm going to use one of my many luck points.
21:39
Nice. Yeah, this is plus one.
21:43
Yes. Wow, that is a crit 18.
21:48
Nice. And what you notice is that this
21:51
room has several red barrels, red ones.
21:56
And you watch a lot of streams. The one thing that video games
21:59
has taught you is. Red barrels explode.
22:02
Yes, they do, Sir. All right, Sir, Retro, we've got
22:07
all these red barrels surrounding all of us all over
22:09
the place. If we need to make a big
22:12
distraction on the way out, we. Sat behind you, now in a uniform
22:19
that he grabbed earlier. Page the guy at the front and he
22:22
goes. If you blow up the building,
22:24
I'll pay you. Burn it to the fucking ground.
22:29
Let's let's let's get your sister first.
22:31
I. Mean yeah, makes sense to me
22:34
it'd be it's a whole claws and effect then did.
22:39
You say claws and effect. Yeah, A. 100% he.
22:42
Did because he's that is. That is why a solid percentage
22:46
of this call actually died inside a little bit right then,
22:48
yeah. Honestly, I'm leaving.
23:02
All right, Neon, you're up against the computer.
23:05
OK, well I don't really know much about computers.
23:09
I don't know about all this and Retro was the one who opened it
23:15
up last time. Yeah, but who's in chat?
23:20
That's a good point. Oh.
23:23
I I do a little. Outsource that shit.
23:26
Yeah, I go, hey, Retro, are you in chat everyone at Retro and
23:35
then just like at, at, at, at, at.
23:38
Cargill just kind of leans over to to OK here.
23:43
Look what? Why the hell does my tile keep
23:46
going off? Look at the chat.
23:48
It's just vibrating my ass cheek now.
23:52
Oh, in that case, don't look and enjoy.
23:54
You know what, I never thought about that.
23:58
I will take that advice. Oh, I'll add it back to you like
24:02
I'll just tell them the code for for it to get in, which was
24:07
2103. What'd you said?
24:11
2103. 214 you gave. Me the code number earlier.
24:15
That's for a completely different dual, but we're going
24:17
to. That was a different building, I
24:20
think that was. Yeah, I don't know, maybe it's
24:24
like you use the same password for everything.
24:26
Who knows? Yeah.
24:26
Mervyn's not the kind of guy that have several different
24:29
passwords. The password is password.
24:31
Right. Dollar signs.
24:34
I try 1234. I try, I, I, yeah, if I I try
24:38
that. Right.
24:40
Roll for it. Let's see if it's right.
24:42
What you want me to roll? What you want me to roll?
24:48
Basic computer. Yeah, electronic security tech
24:51
or basic tech. Yeah, basic tech.
24:54
OK, let's do basic tech. Here we go.
24:58
OK, 11. 11 retro I need you to roll something.
25:09
Where did I put bullshit on my shirt?
25:12
On my. Right.
25:18
Oh I I think I got something for this.
25:21
This don't work. Cool.
25:24
Wait, I'm staring at you. Fucking hell, 23.
25:29
I'm I have 3 doctorates. You too and you type in to chat.
25:40
What was the number? 2103.
25:44
And then something strikes you retro and you type.
25:48
No, wait. And then you send that number in
25:53
reverse neon. Do you put the reverse number
25:59
in? I do a quick poll to chat chat.
26:03
What are you thinking do we do? It says to use the reverse one.
26:08
All right, Yeah, we're. Like retro second guesses
26:10
themselves all the time. Do the second, do the second. 1.
26:14
I put in the reverse one. And the door opens and they're
26:18
in the room. There's a woman strung up,
26:21
crucified in the machine, just like her brother not 30 minutes
26:26
ago, cables coming out of her head and her eyes rolling back
26:31
into her eyelids. Oh shit.
26:34
I go over, I put my finger to my mouth and just say hush, we're
26:39
here to help you. We've got help.
26:44
Yep, Yep. We're here to do that.
26:46
We've got your brother. Not the aspirin.
26:49
Yeah, he's real close. Can you see?
26:51
I can't. I can see you.
26:52
I can see you. Help me.
26:53
Help me. Here.
27:12
Hello, it's Ian from Respect the Crit, an inclusive tabletop RPG
27:16
actual play podcast about exploring new worlds.
27:19
Our camera pans down on the world of Ordmantel new
27:24
characters. Careless would like to make.
27:27
A counter offer Chinese 2 scoops Charizard if that's your voice,
27:31
I'm going to be so excited yeah and play in whatever we want to
27:34
play Sabak. What a great game from Dungeons
27:38
and Dragons. Can you roll another D 2012?
27:41
You for the next 72 hours are 12 years old.
27:44
Oh no, to the post apocalypse. He's a vault dweller.
27:50
You could probably tell with the jumpsuit and everything like
27:52
that. Hey lads, you got to tell me
27:54
where your vault is. It's not going to happen.
27:57
We've got stories in all kinds of settings, including video
28:00
games. This is going to be a Sephiroth
28:02
free experience. Horror.
28:05
Crawling out of the mirror, a nightmarish amalgamation of
28:09
twisted limbs and jagged teeth, it's visited a grotesque mockery
28:12
of humanity. Good.
28:16
And a Galaxy far, far away. It's fun, let's do it again.
28:19
And then he'll punch it and we'll go into lightspeed.
28:23
The dice tell a story and we have a hell of a lot of fun
28:26
rolling with it. No way are you?
28:28
Are you joking me? Whatever the system miss or a
28:35
hit, you always got to respect the crit.
28:38
Join us BI Weekly every other Wednesday for characters,
28:40
campaigns and new episodes anywhere podcasts exist.
28:52
In the other room, Lumen, you're standing in front of him.
28:56
He's looking at you and you're saying nothing.
28:57
Are you? Are you going to fucking talk?
28:59
Are you? Wait one second and he picks up
29:02
his device. Where's the mainframe alarm gone
29:04
off? Mr. Mervin, I really think we
29:09
need to discuss what happened to Group B in the testing facility.
29:16
I, I, I think it's going to be damaging to the brand if it's A.
29:20
Problem child, I just rolled A7 which means I'm SUS as fuck as
29:25
you and. He pulls out a gun and points it
29:26
at you. Why the fuck are you here?
29:30
Quality assurance. Cox.
29:33
The gun. OK, I know that that means
29:37
there's a bullet in the gun. OK, OK, OK, OK.
29:45
I OK. I want to de escalate the
29:47
situation. Sure.
29:50
And I've used some of my luck so if I fail there's no
29:57
repercussions. I buffering.
30:02
I want nothing but success for this company.
30:09
I have watched it grow and thrive and I want this year's
30:13
profits to be record. Right.
30:17
OK huh, I think I have a simple fix for your berserker shooty
30:24
shoot problem. Wait, you're a software?
30:27
Developer. Yes, let's go with that.
30:31
Interesting. Well, I've been thinking of
30:35
firing Natasha. And of course by firing I mean
30:38
fucking kill her. So if you can fix my little rage
30:42
problem, you'll have yourself a deal.
30:47
Raw persuasion. I'd like to discuss that exit
30:50
strategy. Is that for all employees or is
30:52
that just oh fuck. There's a three hour long exit
30:59
interview with four different people.
31:01
Oh no. Oh no.
31:11
No. So I pull out that gun.
31:13
So you pull out your gun. I I stink.
31:18
I think I did. Yeah.
31:19
No, I, I I think I I yeah. No.
31:22
I pull out. I shaky hands pull out gun.
31:25
That's Maggie's gun. She was not doing a very good
31:33
job, so I took it. I think you better tell me
31:38
what's going on. Can we both lower these guns?
31:42
No, you roll the crit fail. OK, that's fair.
31:46
That is fair. So as you know, Group B has had
31:52
a poor track record up until now.
31:55
Yes, only two of them know, still low percentage on a larger
31:58
scale. And then by January we'll have a
32:01
an update to solve the rage problem.
32:04
But here's the thing, if you say anything to anyone, I will
32:06
personally make sure that you're a dead man.
32:09
No, no, no. I signed an NDA.
32:11
Yes, you did. Yes, yeah.
32:13
No, it's. I'm not talking about.
32:15
Taking you to court. I'm talking about taking you to
32:17
a grave. You are pointing a gun at me.
32:20
I I believe you. I believe you.
32:22
So the. Thing is is I work here, I work
32:25
for this company, I own this fucking building.
32:28
So if I want to. Point the gun past your ear and
32:31
pulls the trigger and throws a hole through the door.
32:33
I can fuck anything I fucking want and vex and.
32:38
Cargill you hear gunshot. Oh no, I.
32:43
Think he's dead? It's a fair assumption.
32:50
Honestly. It's been a long time coming,
32:55
you know, It's after I used all my luck too.
32:57
I feel like that's karma. I mean I.
32:59
Should have. Held on to it, yeah.
33:02
Keeping me OK. OK, the impossible something to
33:06
get her out of the pod while this is.
33:08
Happening. Yeah.
33:11
OK, I want to say I want to use. I want to say I'm not great with
33:17
computers, I'm not good with net runners, but I've done enough AV
33:22
in my life. I've done like I know how to
33:26
hook up the VCR to the friggin TV.
33:30
All right, so you can. Set a timer on that thing.
33:33
Yeah, you're blinking. You're blinking little clock on
33:36
that motherfucker. I, I I have.
33:39
Yeah, I I've, I've done it all. I've got obs up and running.
33:45
Problem solved. So much so I'd like to try and
33:49
use photography film if. Fuck off.
33:52
Yeah, sure. No snow.
34:02
The same thing that's happened all night.
34:03
Yeah, fuck it, go for. It.
34:07
How's it 15? Damn, yes.
34:13
So you, you you you go to set up the best angle and then you plug
34:18
you. You can I can I suggest a really
34:21
dumb way of this working. Yes, absolutely.
34:23
Please. So you set up your camera and it
34:26
needs a power hook up and you're like oh fuck, and you just
34:28
unplug a PowerPoint and it just shuts.
34:32
Down the machine. Oh.
34:35
Great, let's go. You capture it on film.
34:40
Yeah. All right, Ted, look.
34:41
Hey, did you just. Yeah, Was I was that bad?
34:50
You know what? No time you.
34:51
See the cables as they fly off the back of her head and the
34:55
machine opens. They spark a little bit and she
34:57
definitely takes some damage. She's not dead, but she is hurt.
35:00
OK, I'm sorry about that. Fuck, why don't you get on my
35:07
shoulder here? Just get.
35:10
Just get my shoulder here. I'm sorry, I'm sticky.
35:13
I, you know, I, I felt stickier. It's, it's fine.
35:16
It's OK. Out the door to the right, the
35:19
door is locked. Out the door to the right, the
35:21
door is locked. I've thought about this for
35:22
months. Out the door to the right, the
35:25
door is locked. Locked the door to the right,
35:27
the door is locked. OK, out the door to the right.
35:30
The door. Is locked second door would lead
35:31
us through the through the staff area.
35:33
I think I downloaded the blueprint for the floor.
35:36
So you come out, you turn right, you walk about 25 feet, walk
35:42
along the wall, go into the staff area.
35:44
We can get in the back. That's where the staff parked
35:47
their cars. You can hot wire a vehicle,
35:48
right? Is it just?
35:50
You. Yeah, sure.
35:50
Fuck, I thought there. 'D be more people to save me.
35:52
No, there are. We've got your brother two.
35:56
Hey, we've, we've got him out there.
35:57
They're on the other side of the room.
35:59
Actually, we've got a a a guy running distraction.
36:03
God, I hope that gunshot was not him.
36:06
Fighting it and Vex and Cargill. Do you check out the gunshot?
36:11
I think, yeah, I think we have to, don't we?
36:14
Yeah, yeah. So.
36:16
One last idea. So in that case, do all four of
36:22
you want to head into this room towards the staff area?
36:26
I would like I would like to enter into the room, but if I
36:31
notice that everyone else is heading towards the staff area,
36:34
I'm going to actually take a step back away from that.
36:38
Towards the red barrels perhaps? Yeah, if I can, I'd just like to
36:43
say this. It's you see the red barrels to
36:46
your right. Yeah, yes.
36:48
While everyone else is going to be doing their stuff, Retro is
36:51
just going to go to every red barrel that they can and just
36:56
puncture as big of a hole that they can without being
36:59
noticeable. Sure, Roll for it.
37:01
While the others open the door. Vex and Cargill, you see Mervin
37:07
and Lumen. Do you see the bullet hole in
37:11
the door? And Lumen's, like, got the gun
37:13
up. Yeah.
37:14
Finger over the trigger. Like, yeah, Retro, you managed
37:17
to puncture every one of the barrels in.
37:19
Just like in that really frustrating Call of Duty level
37:21
where they don't tell you to do that, but it's the only way to
37:23
finish the mission. Yeah, and it's just.
37:26
Leaking everywhere now. The machine next to the red
37:29
barrels is full of fuel. It is a.
37:32
It is used to fill the barrels. Oh yeah, I'd like to sever that
37:36
pipe too. Cool.
37:37
Now fuel is starting to pour all over the ground.
37:41
Roll evasion so it doesn't get on you.
37:45
Nice. Seventeen.
37:45
Yeah, you avoid the spray, but it gets all over Chemist.
37:48
Fuck. That shit fucking it's yowling.
37:53
It's you. It's it's it's.
37:55
Been the time I've stuck with Deb, I've learned how to be able
37:57
to see where the spray is going to happen.
37:59
Dude, what the fuck, man? What the fucking new employees?
38:05
Who? Who hired you?
38:10
Mervin. Well, I'm his assistant.
38:13
You're fucking fired. Get out.
38:15
Fuck. Oh shit.
38:17
Well, what about my exit interview?
38:23
That happened via a video calling.
38:24
You know it. Get the fuck out of the factory
38:26
out now. No, I want, I want my last
38:31
paycheck now. I'm going to disguise a
38:32
distraction. I want my last paycheck now.
38:34
If I'm fired, give me my last paycheck now.
38:37
Vex and Carville, do you do anything about this stand off?
38:41
No, I don't. I don't.
38:45
I'm going towards where the bullet.
38:47
That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about.
38:50
I'm talking about the standoff between Lumen and Mervin.
38:53
Retros. That's bold of you to call that
38:55
a standoff, but. OK.
38:57
If you have a gun, yeah, I did. I didn't picture that as the
38:59
standoff can't do. I I have one last thing I would
39:02
like to try and this this is either going to work or get me
39:05
shot in the face. So OK, I think you misunderstand
39:14
me. I think I found something that
39:16
can cause a very temporary media blackout if people search for
39:20
terms like rage blackout and ball and cup equal murder.
39:26
I think as you know, if you file A1099G with the city then you
39:34
can temporarily block out words on the net, and while they're
39:38
looking into it, it would give you time to put out that patch
39:40
by January. I'd like to roll bureaucracy
39:43
please. Oh my God.
39:45
Absolutely. Yeah, Yeah.
39:47
Holy shit pulled card with paperwork.
39:52
You distract me with oh. No.
39:57
Stop. Do not shoot you in the.
39:59
Crab wait. I have an inspiration point.
40:03
Oh my God, Lumen. Please.
40:06
Sir. Lumen, allow me to give this
40:09
unto you. You.
40:11
Get it? Yeah, I don't.
40:12
Fuck this up. Oh man.
40:14
Holy shit that's a 20. One, there we go.
40:18
And he, he's about to shoot you in the foot.
40:22
Fine, I have my people call you people.
40:24
My assistant's called Kenneth. He's an absolute piece of shit,
40:26
but he's fairly efficient. OK.
40:28
Also real station don't play the game, it fucks with the brain.
40:32
Then we are done here. Yeah, yeah.
40:35
But. After sales go out on Christmas
40:38
Day, our stock should be up, so maybe invest.
40:40
I think that's insider trading. I I don't think you're supposed
40:43
to to to do that. Fuck up you penalty, yes.
40:47
Yes, Sir. OK, I will go and tell.
40:49
That's 21. So I'm going to leave you in
40:51
this room and step out right into the face of Car, Bill,
40:54
Forge and Bags. Oh.
40:56
Oh, good. You're Mr. Wise, right?
40:59
We need you right over here. And.
41:04
As soon as he turns, I'm gonna pull up my heavy pistol into his
41:09
head and pull the trigger. You're gonna shoot him in the
41:10
fucking head? I'm gonna shoot him in the head.
41:12
Talk like that. I just talk so much.
41:15
You didn't have to do that. He didn't shoot you.
41:19
He. Did he would have done that
41:22
though? Oh wow, executioner style.
41:28
That's so fucking cyberpunk. It's very cyberpunk and cold as
41:32
hell. Sorry Mr. Wise, here's your
41:35
severance package. That's some dark shit.
41:38
Do you just? Rolls for gun.
41:40
Yeah, you have to roll a gun. I have to know if it misfires.
41:44
23. But don't do that good.
41:48
We're out of stuff to pull so. He's had a 23 What?
41:53
And you shoot him through the fucking eye.
41:55
Bullet cascades through his fucking head and he drops the
41:59
floor and starts to convulse. He's still all right.
42:01
Let's go. Somehow a little alive, but in
42:04
that way of like someone fucking dying.
42:08
There's not much to this world. But in this moment, as he drops
42:12
to the floor, you can see Frankie running through the
42:16
floor, you fucking prick. And he jumps on this guy and
42:19
starts beating him and beating him and beating him.
42:23
And as he keeps beating him, his face starts to cave in and blood
42:26
is flying off this guy's hand as his sister walks up and grabs
42:31
it. Stop.
42:33
He's dead. Now all the workers in the room
42:36
are looking at you. Fair Kenneth across the room was
42:39
trying to pay attention to Retro, but after seeing someone
42:42
get shot in the head, everyone's looking at you and Mr. Wise is
42:47
dead. Now it's probably a good time
42:49
for all of you to run. I feel like you've just pulled
42:53
out a grenade. Is that a some type of me?
42:57
I I, I don't think I have a grenade, but it does you.
43:00
Have a grenade. I'm the jeweler.
43:03
He pulls out a grenade. I I pull out a grenade and say
43:09
it's time for all of you to run. Hey man, you.
43:11
Don't have to tell me twice to shop this shit anyway, get.
43:14
Fucked and he runs some other words.
43:17
And you're looking at these, this, these twins, they look
43:20
exactly alike, except one is female and one is male.
43:24
And she's holding his arm as it drips with blood above their
43:28
dead brother's body. Neon, you've got a great angle
43:30
of this, this moment. I'm going to say this is cinema,
43:34
this is cinema chat. Let me see the cinema emote.
43:38
I want to see you spam that. Emote only chat.
43:44
Well, we can get a better view here if we leave and then make
43:49
this place go boom. So let's let's go.
43:52
Can't hit the cinema emote and hold this grenade at the same
43:55
time. Roll, resist, torture drugs.
44:03
You see, The thing is. You can't say things to me.
44:07
All right, now, here's the fun part.
44:10
Leon, roll something. Oh, and if you roll under that,
44:16
he resists touching the emote. If you roll over that, he drops
44:21
the grenade. I think it's got to be
44:25
persuasion, right? Yeah.
44:28
Does that sound good? Yeah, this is one of those times
44:30
where you want to roll out. It's going to get hard.
44:33
No. He run.
44:39
All right. Yep, you, you go.
44:42
You're like, Oh yeah, I love that emote.
44:46
Fuck this grenade barrels here I come.
44:50
You you all hear this grenade unclick the pin fly off and
44:55
twang under one of the conveyor belts and it slides next to one
44:59
of the barrels and makes a Dong noise which causes Kenneth to
45:01
turn around. That sounded like a grenade.
45:04
And then you hear beeping. Kenneth, I got to talk to you at
45:06
some point. But when I hear beeping, I start
45:11
running. Cinema.
45:13
OK, let's go. Is there?
45:15
An emergency exit sign that's closer than where we came
45:18
looking. Past Mervyn's body, you see a
45:20
door that leads Outback. It's unlocked.
45:22
Perfect to. The right to the right,
45:25
everyone. Well, that you're right.
45:27
My right. Everyone who wants to leave are
45:29
all athletics. Oh wait, I pulled.
45:31
Oh man, this isn't good for me. Can I use all my luck?
45:37
Yeah. I will use more points of luck
45:39
for mine as well. Cool.
45:41
I would like to use all my luck team.
45:44
U0. Oh yeah.
45:50
Can I gift? Can I gift my last three luck?
45:53
No, you don't need to. Everyone rolled above, no one
45:56
rolled. You're running out of a bill.
45:57
It's not hard. There's a There's a sign.
46:01
We we've, we've fallen in front of the front door before.
46:03
Carville. Carville used lock.
46:06
You use everyone rolled over. Yeah, everyone's rolled over
46:10
mid. That's fine.
46:11
Yeah. None of those numbers make me
46:13
feel like I should punish any of you or kill you.
46:15
Thank you. And you run Outback and there
46:17
are a bunch of vehicles. The Frankie grabs his sister and
46:22
and pulls her out of the building.
46:24
Goldie, we have to get out of the city.
46:27
She puts her hand up against the car and it starts.
46:30
Yeah, thanks. Before you go, before you go, is
46:34
there anything you want to say to stream?
46:39
Frankie puts out his hand towards you in a handshake
46:42
motion. Neil.
46:43
Oh yeah, I switch. I switch over the camera holding
46:48
hand and put it and grab him. Yeah.
46:52
And as you feel this hand grab you, it's cold but it tingles,
46:57
and you feel it communicate with your inner Chiron and some of
47:02
your streaming software. And there's this tingle across
47:07
your body as you get 1000 Subs. Split the money with your
47:14
friends. Thank you for saving us.
47:17
And then you hear the beeping get faster and Carville, you
47:22
turn around and there's a grenade next to one of the
47:24
barrels and and you need to get away from the fucking building.
47:29
Clothes that are behind them. Let's go.
47:31
And as you close the door, you can hear an explosion and the
47:33
door buckles. The glass around the building
47:40
explodes out of the sides and you will run away into the
47:43
darkness of Night City, the fire of this building rising higher
47:49
and higher as every piece of this horrible exclusive
47:55
Christmas product goes up in flames.
47:58
Mervyn wise dead. That shitty guard who charged
48:03
you $5 dead. The regular workers survived
48:07
because you didn't kill any of them.
48:08
Kenneth is on fire, running because he was covered in
48:11
petrol. Oh my God.
48:15
As he runs into the distance to try and find a fire hydrant or
48:19
something to help him. Maybe he's dead.
48:22
We'll find out one day I suppose.
48:25
But you watched the twins get in the vehicle, smile at you and
48:31
drive off, never to be seen again.
48:35
And that is how you all save Christmas.
48:39
And just remember, Chad Happy Company is having a fire sale.
48:56
And that ends this year's Christmas side quest glitch,
48:59
Miss Greed. It certainly was explosive this
49:02
year. Before we say our goodbyes for
49:05
the year, here are a few words from our friends at Dungeons and
49:08
Randomness. Everybody, I am your friend.
49:11
Ryan Haywood. I've been so thrilled to be here
49:14
with you at no latency. You can usually find me on
49:16
dungeons and randomness. Hey everyone, this is Ryan
49:20
Garner. Thank you so much for listening
49:21
to No Latency. You can find me over at Dungeons
49:24
and Randomness. That's the only thing I do
49:26
besides work and family. Hey Ian Duncan here.
49:29
Thank you so much for listening to the No Latency podcast.
49:33
Had an incredible time on this episode.
49:36
You can find me on Dungeons and randomness.
49:39
You can also find me on our other podcast Respect the Crit
49:43
and you can find me on social medias at idunks if if you want
49:46
to catch me there. Thank you so much.
49:49
Folks, my name is Jason Massey. I usually DM for the Dungeons of
49:54
Randomness podcast, so getting to be a player tonight was
49:58
absolutely fantastic. We met Paris at Dragon Con and
50:03
he is super charming and we loved everything he had to say
50:08
about playing the game, so we wanted to hang out afterwards.
50:12
So thank you so much for having us.
50:14
We really appreciate all the work.
50:17
And where can we find you, Jason?
50:19
Oh yeah, I'm a terrible businessman.
50:21
You're. Going to.
50:23
Say, come on, I I don't, and I don't know how this is my
50:26
career. You can find us wherever you get
50:31
your podcasts, The Dungeons of Randomness, where we're on
50:34
Twitter, we're on Facebook, we're on all that.
50:36
But honestly, just if you're curious, check us out.
50:41
That's the softest sell. That's good.
50:45
Hey everybody, it's your favorite TV Head Retro AKA Evan.
50:50
You can definitely always find me here at no latency.
50:53
You can also check me on my other podcasts Save the D8 which
50:58
we will be starting a new season hopefully sometime next year.
51:02
And I've also been streaming with my friend Neon Pass as well
51:07
so you can check me out on twitch@retro.tv.
51:10
Also come check out the discord, a lot of the cast actually hangs
51:14
out there a lot. And thank you everyone for
51:17
listening to this seasonal no latency side quest.
51:21
We had an amazing time for the Dungeons and Randomness crew as
51:24
they saved the city with Retro. Please do check out all of our
51:29
socials. And of course, none of this
51:31
would be possible without our amazing patrons.
51:33
If you'd like to support us further, you can check out our
51:35
patron, which has both free and paid posts for you to enjoy.
51:39
But regardless of how you enjoy us, we're glad that you're here.
51:43
Have a wonderful holiday and a happy New Year and we'll see you
51:48
next time in Night City. They're cool tunes.
51:56
That's how you smell yourself, that was.
52:00
Awesome. Thank you for joining us on our
52:20
adventure once again here at No Latency.
52:24
Don't forget to follow us on Twitter at No Latency Pod.
52:27
Check out our website at nolatencypodcast.com.
52:31
And if you'd like to support us further, we have a Patreon, get
52:34
exclusive content, spin offs, bonus episodes, bloopers, ad
52:38
free episodes, and so much more with weekly content to say thank
52:42
you to our supporters and even spice up your own Cyberpunk Red
52:45
games at home. No matter what level your
52:49
support, Thank you again so much for listening.
52:52
We literally couldn't do this without you.
52:54
And of course, we'll see you next time in Night City.
53:00
Thanks for listening, Jim.