Latest / ✨️Aligned and Thriving: For Teachers🌿 / 💆🏼‍♀️Self-Care Series: The Hidden Load We Carry ❣️

Transcript

💆🏼‍♀️Self-Care Series: The Hidden Load We Carry ❣️ · ✨️Aligned and Thriving: For Teachers🌿

• 0:05
  Hello love lies. Welcome back to another episode
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  of Aligned and Driving for Teachers.
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  This is the podcast that speaks straight to your teacher heart
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  and holds faces to all the things that you carry.
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  I'm Mel. I'm a teacher, a mum, a mindset
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  shifter and a certified emotional sponge.
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  If you know, you know. Today we are talking about
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  something that doesn't always show up on your pay slip, your
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  timetable or your To Do List, but it weighs heavy on us every
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  single day. And I'm talking about the hidden
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  load, the one that no one sees but you still carry.
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  It's drumroll please. The emotional load of teaching.
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  It's those things that you hold, remember, absorb, and worry
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  about that no one else sees. Now, if you've ever gone home
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  emotionally just exhausted but struggled to explain why, then
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  this episode's going to feel like a breath of relief.
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  So what is the hidden load? It's the mental and emotional
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  weight that you carry behind the scenes.
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  You're remembering who hasn't had breakfast, You're noticing
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  who's more withdrawn than usual. You're managing 25 plus
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  emotional states while still regulating your own, might I
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  add. You're holding space for
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  students trauma, their grief, their meltdowns, their family
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  breakdowns, their family history.
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  You're being the calm in the storm again and again and it's
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  invisible. No one puts that in your job
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  description, but it's very, very real and it's exhausting 100%.
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  So why does this load hit different?
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  It's because you care. You are caring deeply every
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  single day and that takes energy.
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  Let's be honest. You don't just teach content.
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  You hold hearts. You don't just manage behaviour,
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  you're managing nervous systems. Like multiple nervous systems.
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  Oh, good hiccups. Sorry.
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  You don't just supervise play, you supervise well being as
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  well. Yours, the kids, everybody's.
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  It's not just the students. You're also supporting the
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  colleagues who are struggling. You're helping parents navigate
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  tricky situations. You're softening your tone even
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  when you're crumbling or dying inside.
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  You're putting everyone else's needs 1st and then wondering why
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  at the end of the day, you feel utterly depleted.
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  Let's do a bit of a mindset shift here.
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  Caring does not mean carrying it all.
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  Here's the truth. You can be a deeply, deeply
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  caring teacher without holding everything yourself.
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  You can support kids without sacrificing your own mental
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  health, and you can 100% love your job and still have limits.
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  Your heart is not a dumping ground.
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  You are not a sponge, even though sometimes if you know,
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  you know. You are a human and it is OK to
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  not carry it all. OK, So what are some strategies
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  that could help us to lighten this load?
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  Well, here are some ways that I protect my peace whilst still
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  caring. I have emotional boundaries.
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  I care, but I don't absorb. Visualise zipping up your energy
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  before class and protecting your field like you have a bubble
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  around yourself. Your energy, You protect your
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  energy. You can still care, but you
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  don't have to take on all of that energy.
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  OK, you do energy. Check insurance.
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  Ask is this mine to hold? If it's not, release it.
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  Breathe it out, send it back out of your bubble.
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  Debrief with someone safe. Even just 5 minutes with a
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  colleague who gets it can help you shift that weight.
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  You can write it out brain dump the load in a journal or your
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  notes app and unload the mental clutter.
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  I know I've talked about journaling before but honestly
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  it makes a world of difference. Even if you just need a journal
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  to get like a dump, a brain dump journal that you can just get
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  all the, no other word for it really, but get all the crap out
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  of your head and then deal with the other stuff.
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  So for me, I journal of the night and I get rid of all the
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  stuff from the day, but then I finish with sharing some things
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  that I was grateful for. So that's all I focus on before
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  I go to bed. Like what are the things I was
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  grateful for today? What am I celebrating today?
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  Those positive things? I've dumped all the rest,
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  chucked it out and I focus on those positives for the day.
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  You could use some energetic tools.
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  I know I'm gonna talk about these or I may have already
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  talked about them, but EFT tapping, breath work, Oracle
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  cards, going for a walk, listening to music, whatever's
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  gonna bring you back to you. I'm not saying that use all of
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  these things. I'm just saying you might find
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  something that works for you. It has taken me years, honestly.
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  How long? I've been teaching for over 15
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  years and I don't think until the last 18 months that I really
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  started to find myself and what works for me and to help reset
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  me as a teacher and a mum. But it's bringing me back to me.
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  So let me give you some affirmations to help with the
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  hidden load and speak these into your day to help lighten that
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  load as you go through. So the first one.
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  I hold space, not burdens. What's not mine to carry, I
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  release with love. I honour my empathy and my
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  boundaries. My worth is not measured by how
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  much I absorb. Just choose one of them to say
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  to yourself throughout the week if you need to access it again,
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  just to remind you about your mindset shift.
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  It's not yours to carry. Let it go.
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  Some quick resets for you. Start your day with three deep
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  breaths and set an intention for your day.
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  Because remember, your thoughts control your actions.
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  So whatever you're thinking and putting out into the universe
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  that day, that's what you're going to get.
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  So if you wake up and think I'm going to have a terrible day,
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  well guess what? I'm really sorry to tell you,
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  but you probably are because you need to change your thinking.
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  So take some deep breaths and set a positive intention for
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  your day and keep repeating that to yourself throughout the day.
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  If you need to, you could speak a boundary out loud to yourself
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  or to others. If you need reminders on how to
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  set boundaries, go back to my episode about boundaries and the
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  word no. Learning how to say no, OK, You
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  need to have boundaries in place.
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  Respectful boundaries, release some energy after work.
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  It could be anything but some ideas that come off from my head
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  like have a shower, have a meditation shower, like put on
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  some really calming music and just enjoy the water.
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  Water is really calming and releasing and you can just
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  imagine as the water runs over you that you are releasing all
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  of that tension and that stuff from the bad day.
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  If you've had a bad day, gentle movement, going for a walk,
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  getting out in nature, just anything like that.
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  Or literally going back to being high fibe high vibe shaking,
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  like going for a dance, shaking your arms or those types of
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  things. Just getting back into that high
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  vibe. And then you could journal the
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  phrase for your journal entries. Like today I release and write
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  about what you're releasing and putting back into the universe.
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  So today I release these things and you're giving them back.
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  Those tiny little resets are going to help keep you being you
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  under all of that extra hidden weight that you're carrying as
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  you are doing sacred work. The emotional labour that you
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  have. It might be invisible, but it's
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  powerful. And it's why your students trust
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  you. Your colleagues trust you
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  because they know that you're gonna listen to them, you're
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  gonna agree with them, you're gonna support them.
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  But it takes a toll on us too. So please, lovely, just remember
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  that you were never meant to carry all of this alone.
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  You do not have to take on all the trauma, all the grief, all
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  the emotion throughout the day. You are allowed to draw lines
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  and you are 100% allowed to protect your own peace.
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  You're allowed to be a brilliant teacher without burning yourself
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  out by care fatigue. Like to call it?
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  OK, so just remember all of those things that you need to
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  focus on, you setting positive intentions, taking deep breaths,
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  putting boundaries in place, releasing that energy after work
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  so you're not taking it out on your family or yourself or
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  anyone else. Please do not go home and dwell
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  in it. Get rid of it.
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  Don't take it on because you're probably going to have to rest
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  and reset to do it all again tomorrow because you never know
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  what's happened at home for those kids at night.
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  And then the next day you're going to turn up and you've got
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  25 kids in front of you again with a whole different story.
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  You need to protect your energy so that you're able to give back
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  to them as well. Because you are a brilliant
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  teacher. I've said that before.
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  So if this episode has resonated with you, please make sure you
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  share it with teacher friends. We're all carrying it all
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  silently. Tag me to London Thriving
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  because I'd love to know which part spoke to your heart today.
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  Because you need to just relax when you get home from work and
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  decompress 'cause you never know, you might be like me and
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  you have two wonderful children, 2 twins, 2 twins, 1 twin, one
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  set of twins that makes more sense at home that then unload
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  their emotional energy. So I have to have my boundaries
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  in place, ready to rest and reset and recover.
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  But be present as a mum. And you might have that too.
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  Or you might have family members that require your attention when
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  you go home. Or a partner or a pet that
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  hasn't seen you all day and you need to give them your attention
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  and they don't appreciate it when you get home and you're
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  exhausted and you do not want to go for that walk that they have
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  been literally waiting all day for.
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  So make sure you are doing what you need to do to rest and
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  decompress and then get going so that you've got energy to spare
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  for others. So until next time, just
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  remember to soften your shoulders to sip your tea or
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  your coffee. Stay aligned, keep thriving, and
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  I promise I will talk to you all again soon.
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  Bye, guys.