Latest / Spinning the Light Podcast / Gifting

Transcript

Gifting · Spinning the Light Podcast

• 0:00
  Hello and welcome to two girls in a pod.
• 0:02
  I'm Sharon. Hi, I'm Christy.
• 0:05
  Hope all of you are doing well as always.
• 0:08
  Today we're going to kind of have a just a shorter podcast.
• 0:12
  You know, we are saddened to, you know, we had talked about
• 0:16
  letting go. We had talked about Hospice care
• 0:19
  and things like that. Well, on January 27th, Christy
• 0:25
  lost her mom. So.
• 0:27
  Yeah, it's been kind of a rough week, and I'll say the least,
• 0:34
  but yeah, she passed on Saturday and you know, I guess there's a
• 0:40
  lot to be grateful for. I know that she's not going
• 0:44
  through everything she was dealing with, so I am definitely
• 0:50
  grateful for that. You know, and it's been our time
• 0:52
  of reflection as well and I think that does happen and even
• 0:57
  though it's been a sad time for us, we've also been able to
• 1:01
  laugh at a few things A. Lot of good memories with her
• 1:05
  and. You know, I think for everybody
• 1:08
  grief and loss process is such a such a personal thing, you know,
• 1:13
  I know everybody says, you know, Kula Ross says we have to you
• 1:16
  know, 5 stages of grief and loss and stuff like that.
• 1:19
  But you know, I tell everybody it's your journey.
• 1:22
  You do it the way you do it and the way in which you do it and
• 1:26
  everybody's then the very the end of somebody's life always
• 1:29
  impacts people on such a different level.
• 1:32
  You know whatever that relationship was positive,
• 1:35
  negative this that or the I I don't care.
• 1:38
  You know. So you know and sometimes the
• 1:41
  most important thing we do is just kind of hold space and help
• 1:44
  just let people know you're there.
• 1:46
  And we've we've been very fortunate.
• 1:47
  Yes, I have to say that I am truly grateful because I have
• 1:52
  had so many people reach out to me and I have just felt
• 1:58
  surrounded by love, you know, and concern in care.
• 2:02
  And I appreciate that. I am so grateful for the people
• 2:05
  in our life. And you know, one of the things
• 2:08
  that's interesting about, you know, your dad and your mom, one
• 2:12
  of the things that they did that I thought was just really
• 2:14
  amazing. And I thought, you know how cool
• 2:16
  for them to think of this and to do this?
• 2:20
  They decided to donate their body to science, which, you
• 2:25
  know, I don't even know how many people know that that's even an
• 2:29
  option to do. And I know for there's a lot of
• 2:34
  mixed feelings around it. You know, a lot of people have
• 2:39
  certain ideas about what needs to be done when someone passes,
• 2:43
  and there's nothing wrong with that.
• 2:46
  But I am so grateful that both of my parents decided that
• 2:50
  that's what they wanted to do. And I think what's really cool
• 2:52
  about your dad is because your dad died from pancreatic cancer
• 2:56
  and there's so much more research that needs to be done
• 3:00
  with pancreatic cancer because it is such a deadly, deadly,
• 3:03
  deadly cancer. It has like the lowest, you
• 3:07
  know, survival rate ovarian cancers, the other one.
• 3:11
  But just So what a blessing. If if his death brings us closer
• 3:19
  to understanding how to treat pancreatic cancer, you know what
• 3:24
  I mean. I think that's just an amazing
• 3:26
  thing. Yeah, and I'm I had shared with
• 3:29
  a friend that that's what even my parents had decided to do.
• 3:34
  And. She's.
• 3:35
  Was talking to me about it and she was like, you know, you got
• 3:39
  me thinking. And I, you know, I really
• 3:41
  appreciate that anybody would consider something like that,
• 3:44
  'cause I really do feel like there's so many advantages to
• 3:48
  it. And I have to say that as a
• 3:52
  family member dealing with things that you have to deal
• 3:55
  with, you know, when someone passes, it has been just such a
• 4:02
  smooth process. But for both of them, you know,
• 4:05
  it's been the there are many programs out there that you can
• 4:11
  use. My mom's was anatomy gift
• 4:14
  registry. There are different.
• 4:17
  And they're different ones because they do different
• 4:20
  things. Yeah.
• 4:21
  And there are certain ones that will do full body donation and
• 4:25
  there are some that will just do tissue donation, things like
• 4:29
  that. So I know Ohio State has a
• 4:32
  program, There's another company called Science Care Body
• 4:36
  Donation. There are many out there and
• 4:39
  it's I feel like it's it's really when they call it a gift.
• 4:44
  I really do feel like that that's what it is.
• 4:47
  And you know, one of the things is, is there's nothing you do.
• 4:50
  You know, we were just all we had to do was call them and and
• 4:53
  talk with them and get everything set up.
• 4:55
  And yeah, and then what was really great is Hospice took
• 4:59
  care of it on that end. They they're the ones who called
• 5:02
  and got everything kind of in order for that to to take place,
• 5:07
  the transportation and all of that.
• 5:09
  So it was amazing. You know, Hospice 2 didn't
• 5:14
  amazing things. Yes, they've been calling to
• 5:16
  check on me and I I truly appreciate what they do and I
• 5:22
  know that that is a difficult job, something I just don't even
• 5:26
  know how they do it. But I'm really grateful for that
• 5:31
  program that you know, when it helps so many people.
• 5:34
  They were there even with my dad and.
• 5:37
  They were there with my mom, you know, and just a shout out to
• 5:42
  Hospice. The the people who do that care,
• 5:45
  you know, the end of life stuff is such a an amazing thing.
• 5:49
  I had a client who actually became a Hospice nurse and.
• 5:52
  And just how fulfilling that was even for her, You know, I don't
• 5:55
  think there's such a relationship that's developed in
• 5:59
  that time when you have a longer period of time.
• 6:01
  You know, your mom was like 7 weeks or something like that.
• 6:04
  I think mom was like 6, yeah. So I think 7 weeks in Hospice.
• 6:09
  Like I said, it's there's so many working parts to these
• 6:13
  things and to have gratitude for each and every one of them.
• 6:18
  The staff where your mom were at were amazing what they're at the
• 6:21
  end. They were, you know, so that was
• 6:24
  pretty cool playing music for things like that, you know?
• 6:27
  And being with her ears. Your mom's love of music, you
• 6:30
  know? Definitely.
• 6:31
  Yes, she would you. Come by it.
• 6:34
  Honestly, both your mom and dad. Oh my goodness.
• 6:37
  She would put on a concert forum sometimes at the at the nursing
• 6:40
  home. And Yodel Forum, yeah.
• 6:43
  She'd start yodeling. But you know, it's one of those
• 6:46
  things, like I said, if you didn't know about these things,
• 6:49
  you know us kind of talking about it and just how we're
• 6:53
  grateful we've been for that whole process and how
• 6:58
  wonderfully easy if you not that anything is easy when somebody
• 7:02
  dies. But I think that it just takes
• 7:05
  some of that pressure off of you.
• 7:08
  The truthful piece of it, the everything that has to be done.
• 7:12
  They just they take care of everything.
• 7:14
  They do and. And many of them.
• 7:17
  It's no cost to do it, you know, So it's definitely worth looking
• 7:21
  into. If it's something that you know
• 7:24
  that the person wants to give back in that way and you know
• 7:27
  that becomes an option for you. It is, like I said, so much and
• 7:32
  it's such an easy process. Do you know why your dad made
• 7:35
  that decision? It don't.
• 7:37
  You know, 'cause it, It kind of is interesting and and and I
• 7:40
  don't know if he made it after he got his diagnosis, like, I
• 7:44
  imagine he did make it at that point after the the diagnosis of
• 7:48
  the pancreatic cancer and maybe just the fact that, you know,
• 7:50
  there's so little research on it and stuff like that that.
• 7:55
  And I know your mom did it because she really liked that
• 7:57
  idea after your dad did it. Shit.
• 8:00
  You know I don't. Know if that made her feel
• 8:01
  closer somehow or something that, you know, to do this the
• 8:05
  same thing that he did. I don't know.
• 8:07
  She just felt more united in doing it that way.
• 8:11
  I'm not sure. And I think the really cool
• 8:14
  thing is, is even in doing that, you know, people, one of the
• 8:17
  things is as well if their body's gone and all that, you
• 8:20
  know, one of the things is, is we will have a celebration of
• 8:23
  life for her. And that was her wish.
• 8:25
  And you know, I think that we don't need to have the body.
• 8:29
  Well, you know, people are cremated or sometimes you don't
• 8:33
  find the body. You know there's all sorts of
• 8:34
  reasons these things happen, you know, But I think it really is,
• 8:38
  is still that ability to do the celebration of life for her and
• 8:43
  to bring those people together and to be able to do that kind
• 8:47
  of process of closure if that's you know, how you do that
• 8:50
  closure piece of it, you know. So I think overall it's just an
• 8:55
  amazing thing that we get to be participate in you know and I am
• 9:00
  grateful that we're we learn a little bit more about it and I
• 9:03
  think it it opens up that door to other possibilities for end
• 9:08
  of life. If I can't handle this on my
• 9:12
  own, can I can. You know Hospice is a an option
• 9:18
  that you can have in home Hospice, Hospice anywhere you
• 9:20
  know. So there's all sorts of avenues
• 9:23
  for that as well. Yeah, I was grateful.
• 9:25
  Like with my dad, they were able to go into the home.
• 9:29
  You know. And he passed it home.
• 9:31
  Yeah. And and so I think that people
• 9:33
  have this awareness or, you know, that we can kind of open
• 9:37
  the door to other people. And once again, didn't really
• 9:40
  ever think of a registry or anything like that until your
• 9:43
  dad did that. And and then to see how that
• 9:46
  whole process played out, you know, was just kind of a really
• 9:50
  cool thing. And then for your mom to do the
• 9:54
  same thing. Yeah.
• 9:56
  And it's like I said they they've been great to work with
• 10:00
  and you know you just call up and ask questions.
• 10:04
  There are certain criteria and stuff for the different
• 10:07
  programs, but just because one won't accept another, one may
• 10:11
  and they just have different stipulations.
• 10:13
  Yeah. And you found that out because
• 10:14
  it might be, well, we only want tissue samples of this or we
• 10:18
  only want to study the, you know, it could be any of those
• 10:21
  things. So I agree if you're going to
• 10:23
  do, you know, if if this is something that you now say, Oh
• 10:26
  my goodness, I didn't know this existed, this is kind of cool.
• 10:30
  You can just keep looking and you can do it if you know
• 10:33
  there's end of life or you know, you have to be at that stage.
• 10:37
  You know what I'm saying? Maybe that's something that you
• 10:40
  just sit there and say this is how I, this is now what I want
• 10:43
  to do. I I feel like this is a
• 10:46
  contribution and. Yeah.
• 10:48
  I know it's kind of something to think about.
• 10:50
  Definitely. You know, Yeah.
• 10:52
  So I mean, even for myself, I think I'd be undecided at this
• 10:57
  point, but. And I told Christy this morning,
• 11:00
  I don't know what are they going to do with my 120 year old dead
• 11:03
  body. You know.
• 11:06
  Yeah, I'll be. I'll be the kids only Bones.
• 11:12
  I already told you what they were going to do.
• 11:14
  What? Are they going?
• 11:15
  To do turn you into a diamond. Oh, yeah.
• 11:18
  Oh, yeah. I remember that now.
• 11:19
  She said that the only way she'd have my ashes is if I was turned
• 11:23
  to a diamond. Wow.
• 11:28
  So I know I'll have great value when I'm dead.
• 11:31
  You want. It to be Whitten.
• 11:36
  Isn't that amazing? Yeah, I I just think about that.
• 11:39
  It's so amazing what they're doing now.
• 11:41
  You know it's and even like you know now people when they they
• 11:45
  die and stuff and they get cremated instead of just putting
• 11:48
  them in an urn, you know on your mantle, you know they're
• 11:51
  planting them with trees. They're.
• 11:53
  That's always something, Mom said.
• 11:55
  She's I don't want to be on somebody's mantle.
• 11:58
  So, I said promptly. We'll go put her on the mantle.
• 12:03
  No. And and you know, and I get that
• 12:06
  and I think for everybody, it's such a different process, you
• 12:08
  know, But I do think there's something to, you know, being
• 12:12
  put in a tree, you know? Yeah.
• 12:15
  And and I think that's kind of a neat option.
• 12:17
  I mean that's something that I I feel like I would consider
• 12:22
  wanting to do would being to be planted.
• 12:25
  You know, and then there are those that want to be frozen.
• 12:28
  I don't know about that either. And y'all think y'all listen
• 12:32
  thinking Oh no, there were so many options.
• 12:35
  No, it always reminds me of the Golden Girl episode.
• 12:41
  Where they get their heads frozen.
• 12:42
  Yeah, their heads, because then you have to get the body.
• 12:46
  When the body's ratty and you can get a body, so yeah.
• 12:50
  I always thought that was such a funny thing because then walk
• 12:52
  Sophia with this young body and an old head.
• 12:57
  But you know, I I think even I think that's something that has
• 13:00
  been around for such a long period of time of what do we do,
• 13:03
  what is the best thing? And I always tell people the
• 13:06
  best thing is whatever you decide, you know, it's such an
• 13:09
  individual thing. You know, it can be based on
• 13:11
  your belief system, anything like that.
• 13:14
  And none of them are right or wrong, you know what I mean?
• 13:17
  And it's just doing what you feel, what resonates with you,
• 13:22
  you know, and have those conversations with the people
• 13:26
  that are going to be the ones to carry this stuff out.
• 13:29
  You know, I'm very grateful that we got to have those
• 13:31
  conversations with your mom. We got a plan.
• 13:34
  What she wanted, you know, 'cause this is about her, it's
• 13:38
  definitely not about us. And that aspect, you know, how
• 13:41
  does she want to be remembered or stuff like that.
• 13:43
  And you know what? The celebration of life.
• 13:45
  We can talk about that with them, you know, This was her
• 13:49
  gift, you know, So provides life for somebody else maybe.
• 13:53
  Yeah, it's such a unique and personal decision and I am
• 13:56
  grateful that we got to have those discussions.
• 13:59
  I am too. And I think that sometimes
• 14:01
  people kind of shy away from those discussions because people
• 14:06
  don't like to talk about death. It's it's one of those things
• 14:09
  that just kind of bothers people.
• 14:12
  It makes them. Uncomfortable.
• 14:13
  It happens, and then you have to deal with it.
• 14:15
  Well, I don't know. I wonder if people sit there and
• 14:17
  say I don't want to talk about it because if I talk about it,
• 14:18
  then that means that I'm thinking that like I'm thinking
• 14:21
  about those going to come. And I don't think that's what,
• 14:23
  you know what it is. I think that it really is that
• 14:26
  thing of having those conversations.
• 14:29
  What is it you want done? I now know that Christy wants me
• 14:32
  to be a diamond. And I want to be a tree.
• 14:36
  Well yeah, that's easy enough I tell you.
• 14:43
  But once again I think that that's what we do is we just
• 14:46
  kind of have those conversations and realize that death is a hard
• 14:51
  thing. And and we we've definitely had
• 14:53
  our moments and I know you've had some rough moments and and
• 14:57
  even when we talked about doing the pot because those are like
• 14:59
  you sure you want to do one this week and we didn't know what to
• 15:02
  do it on. And then I said, well, what
• 15:03
  about if we do it on this kind of thing to honor that your mom
• 15:07
  did this great thing or which we think is a great thing?
• 15:11
  Not maybe not everybody will. And that's OK.
• 15:14
  Right. And we understand.
• 15:15
  And there, I mean there are many even religious reasons or that
• 15:19
  that people do the things that they do and that's
• 15:23
  understandable. But I I really think that it's
• 15:26
  important to be informed of all the options that there are, and
• 15:31
  especially, like I said, for something like this that can be
• 15:34
  such a gift to others. You know, you would think that
• 15:37
  in order to you know, those people that don't have anybody,
• 15:42
  you would think that maybe that would be the thing, you know, to
• 15:46
  give to science. Because then what?
• 15:48
  I always wondered what happened to that, what happens to them,
• 15:50
  you know, do they just throw them in a box?
• 15:52
  And I don't understand. I don't know all this stuff.
• 15:55
  I don't know, you know, but it's such a, like I said, it was one
• 16:00
  of those things we we talked about, you know did we really
• 16:02
  want to do a podcast this week. But you know we had talked about
• 16:07
  the journey your mom was on. You know that her journey was
• 16:10
  coming to to this journey was coming to its end.
• 16:14
  And you know, I felt it was appropriate to to let the
• 16:18
  listeners know that that had happened.
• 16:20
  And but I think even more so, you know, what were those end of
• 16:24
  life decisions And and you know if you don't feel comfortable
• 16:28
  talking about it, maybe this will help you to feel
• 16:32
  comfortable talking about it because you also I think you
• 16:34
  learned that there's different ideas and alternatives and
• 16:37
  things like that. And and you know it was such a
• 16:40
  personal day. It's not like your mom at your
• 16:42
  mom or dad didn't go ask permission from anybody.
• 16:44
  Which I think, you know, I think sometimes people get, you know,
• 16:47
  are people going to be OK with this or they they get too heady,
• 16:51
  you know, and start thinking about all these other things.
• 16:54
  And and I think that that this was one of those cases where I
• 16:58
  don't think your mom really it was what she wanted.
• 17:01
  I think she really appreciated how that transition with your
• 17:04
  dad was, and it was it was a no brainer for her.
• 17:09
  Just how they handled everything, you know?
• 17:12
  I think that it was. It made it so much easier for
• 17:16
  her and I appreciate that. And you know, it's really
• 17:20
  interesting because with this him, I say, Oh my God, you
• 17:23
  donate the body, then what you we you actually have the option
• 17:26
  because they do a cremation at the end and then you can get
• 17:31
  those ashes. And so, which I thought was
• 17:35
  interesting and why did we decide to get your mom's ashes?
• 17:40
  Well, they said that that was something that they did.
• 17:42
  I mean, and it's there, it's not written in stone that we would,
• 17:47
  if we want to do that, we can. But I think it's interesting,
• 17:50
  because remember when you asked your mom that about your dad's
• 17:53
  ashes? What did she say?
• 17:55
  I. Don't remember.
• 17:57
  Probably that she didn't want him on the Mantel.
• 17:59
  I'm not. Sure, no, she says.
• 18:00
  Well, why do I need his ashes? Oh yeah, yeah.
• 18:04
  Because that wasn't her belief. Her belief was is that, you
• 18:07
  know, she's very strong in her faith that, you know, your
• 18:10
  soul's gone and being ascend to heaven and what, there was no
• 18:14
  need for that. So yeah, her thing was no right.
• 18:19
  So what made you 'cause you said?
• 18:21
  I hadn't decided that. I just had asked them because I
• 18:26
  didn't know if that was something they they contact you
• 18:29
  and let you know about, or if you had to contact them if you
• 18:34
  wanted to do it, you know? But I apparently when they
• 18:38
  finish they send a letter and tell you that the ashes are
• 18:42
  available. She would want to do that.
• 18:44
  So I think that well, but my point was, I'm sorry I lost my
• 18:48
  train of thought here. So bear with me people, that's
• 18:51
  kind of a cool thing because with that you have that option.
• 18:55
  So if you really wanted those remains, that's still something
• 18:59
  that can happen. So I thought that was really
• 19:02
  cool too. And I don't know if every
• 19:03
  program is that way. That's something that you would
• 19:05
  definitely want to ask them. And if like I said with the
• 19:08
  anatomy gift registry, I know that they do that.
• 19:12
  So I mean if that's something that is important to you, maybe
• 19:15
  that person would be willing to do a a full body donation, but
• 19:20
  with knowing that they would have that as an option for if
• 19:25
  someone wants you to spread their ashes somewhere or
• 19:27
  something like that, that that can still be done.
• 19:30
  Yeah, So I thought it was really cool.
• 19:33
  And like I said, we just wanted to share with you guys, You
• 19:38
  know, of course the passing of your mom, but also that there's
• 19:42
  this option of doing the registries and stuff like that.
• 19:45
  And if you hadn't thought about it or didn't know about it, now
• 19:47
  you guys do. So, you know, maybe it's another
• 19:50
  option. And like I said, who, who likes
• 19:53
  to sit around and talk about death?
• 19:54
  Most people do not, you know what I'm saying?
• 19:58
  But it's those conversations that people should be having and
• 20:02
  whatever somebody's wishes are, you know, to be able to honor
• 20:05
  and stuff like that is important.
• 20:07
  Yeah, like, like I said in tough decisions, that episode that we
• 20:11
  did, I mean it's it's interesting and it's a struggle
• 20:16
  when you're the one that's trying to carry out what someone
• 20:19
  else wants. So if you, you know, can have
• 20:22
  those conversations and and figure that out, it sure helps
• 20:27
  you when they've passed, you feel confident about fulfilling
• 20:32
  what it is that they wanted. And I think what an honor it is
• 20:36
  when somebody has that trust in you too.
• 20:39
  You know there has to be a trust thing and and I really do feel
• 20:42
  like your mom felt like not only you but I would help in in that
• 20:48
  in her wishes being fulfilled the way she wanted them and
• 20:52
  that's an honor to have somebody trust you with their end of life
• 20:56
  wishes. And so if somebody asks you that
• 20:59
  you know and if you can do that, that's a great honor as well.
• 21:03
  As we said, this is going to be a very short podcast because you
• 21:07
  know, we are still in a grief and loss process and but we're
• 21:13
  grateful for everybody who listens and thank you so much
• 21:17
  for that. Definitely still, you know,
• 21:20
  going through a healing process and we do appreciate everybody
• 21:25
  listing in. And yes, this is a shorter
• 21:29
  episode, but I feel like it's an important information to share.
• 21:34
  But I also feel like it's part of our healing process.
• 21:37
  As well? I think so.
• 21:39
  So thank you for letting us share with you today.
• 21:44
  As always, you can find us on. We have the website
• 21:49
  twogirlsinapod.com. We are also on Facebook and
• 21:53
  Instagram. 2 Girls in a Pod Life's Journey and you can also
• 21:57
  follow us on. Ventures.
• 22:00
  YouTube Adventures of Two Girls in a Pod Life's Journey.
• 22:04
  Follow subscribe. Click like, communicate with
• 22:08
  this. You know there's a place for
• 22:10
  comments. If we have comments and stuff,
• 22:12
  we'd really appreciate hearing from you if.
• 22:15
  This is the first episode that you are listening to.
• 22:18
  Please go take a listen to some others.
• 22:20
  We're not always on the on the. Debbie Downer side.
• 22:23
  Debbie Downer side You know, wait, we.
• 22:27
  We can be fun too. So we'd really appreciate.
• 22:31
  And like I said, we so appreciate everybody who
• 22:34
  listens. And if you do listen, you know,
• 22:36
  Let your friends know, Let your family know.
• 22:39
  Spread the word, get them listening to us, and hopefully
• 22:42
  something we say will resonate with somebody.
• 22:45
  Yes, hoping to build a mentally strong platform that people can
• 22:53
  get something from and hopefully take away something positive.
• 22:57
  And hopefully it it it helps on everybody's journey because you
• 23:01
  know, this really is about journeys and stuff and this is
• 23:04
  where our journey is right now in this process of healing
• 23:09
  through the loss of your mom and stuff.
• 23:10
  So, you know, it's a journey. Life's journey continues.
• 23:14
  Yes, it does. And thank you so much for
• 23:16
  continuing with us. We so appreciate it and we will
• 23:20
  be back next week and we're not gonna be Debbie Downers next
• 23:23
  week. I don't think maybe we don't
• 23:25
  know. We'll see.
• 23:27
  Anyway, as always, thank you so much for joining us and we look
• 23:32
  forward to coming back next week.
• 23:34
  Thank you.