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Sir Rendlegore Chapter 5 · The Apocalypse Will Be Podcasted

0:00
Hello, and this is the Apocalypse Will Be Podcasted.
0:03
We are a married couple from Atlanta with boring
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day jobs. We have been together 12 years, and
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we usually create a lot of weird performance
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art to entertain people. But we are trying our
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hand at having a podcast because we have had
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an obsession lately, and that obsession is Dungeon
0:20
Crawler Carl. This is a spoilers podcast, and
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we will be discussing plot points from all seven
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Dungeon Crawler Carl books. You should not start
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this podcast until you have finished book seven.
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We will not be discussing anything from Patreon
0:36
or the Pineapple Cabaret. There are spoilers
0:39
from this point forward. Be warned. So this chapter
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starts with Donut having an absolute diva hissy
0:45
fit. I am shocked, I tell you, shocked. So what
0:49
she is having a meltdown about is Samantha let
0:54
it slip that Carl did keep the bellyache. Yeah,
0:58
Garrett is here, although he's no longer Garrett,
1:02
but he is an adorable little tummy acher. I will
1:05
say that I have seen a bunch of 3D rendered friends
1:08
that were either at, you know, like Dragon Con
1:11
or book signings, and they usually turn out pretty
1:14
cute. But also somewhat terrifying. But I think
1:17
he would be cuter if he wasn't always portrayed
1:20
as looking fleshy and wet. I mean, I think Dungeon
1:24
Crawler Carl is pretty big on the so horrifying
1:26
it's cute genre. It did go the route with Mongo
1:29
looking more like a, you know, actually historically
1:32
accurate Velociraptor, which I suppose is actually
1:35
cuter than the Velociraptors from, say, Jurassic
1:40
Park. For sure. Although some of the drawings
1:44
and iterations of Mongo that people have are
1:47
still T -Rexes. I still carry around a stuffed
1:50
T -Rex. I'm not sorry. So this meltdown that
1:54
Donut's having, she just... It says that Carl
1:57
is cheating on her. She's like, come on, Mongo.
2:00
Let's go somewhere where we're wanted. And Carl
2:03
is just trying to calm her down. And I know this
2:05
is kind of Carl's usual way of going about it.
2:08
But the way that he goes about calming Donut
2:10
down sometimes just seems very counterproductive.
2:12
Being like, Donut, chill the fuck out and let
2:16
me tell you what happened. Like, how would you
2:18
react if you were upset, Bree? And that was my
2:21
approach to it. Yeah. I would definitely be pretty
2:25
upset, but I will also say that Donut has some
2:27
really low blows on here, especially saying that
2:31
this is the kind of behavior that you would expect
2:33
from Beatrice, not Carl, is really below the
2:37
belt. Yeah, shots fired. I feel like you might
2:40
need some aloe for that one. This is definitely
2:42
expected for Donut. Part of me does wonder if
2:45
she's actually as upset as she's acting because
2:49
we do. know from experience that Donut does put
2:53
on a show and she can act more childish or more
2:56
immature than she actually is. So I feel like
3:00
maybe. I don't think that's the case at all.
3:03
But I do think that we see a lot of coping mechanisms
3:08
for the stressful situation that they are in.
3:11
And this is definitely a regression for a couple
3:15
of. The beginning chapters where Donut was actually
3:18
pretty mature about a couple of things as we
3:20
called out. But I think it's just this isn't
3:24
really what she's upset about. But I think we
3:28
also need to go back to the backstory of Miss
3:30
Beatrice where she was literally getting rid
3:33
of Donut so she could get another cat that was
3:36
younger and cuter and she thought would perform
3:39
better at shows. I can actually understand where
3:42
Donut is coming from, thinking that because Carl
3:44
got another pet, he is trying to replace her.
3:46
And it's young and new. So yeah, I can definitely
3:49
see the parallel that you're making there. Makes
3:51
perfect sense. I will say that even though Donut
3:54
has gotten a lot of base upgrades in the last
3:58
couple of chapters, that they do mention over
4:01
and over again how fragile she is. So maybe Carl
4:05
getting a pet who is a tank might be a little
4:08
intimidating for her. Yeah, certainly could be.
4:11
So Carl is like, hey, Jonah, I'm just going to
4:13
I'm going to let him out. You'll see. And Jonah
4:16
is like, absolutely not. What is he hungry for
4:18
a dinosaur snack? But Rend comes out, not named
4:21
Rend yet. And he is half the size of Carl's fist,
4:25
which is really, really, really small. Like I
4:29
would have expected him to be bigger than that
4:31
at first. Yeah, for sure. I guess I kind of imagined
4:34
him as meatball sized, which would be bigger
4:36
than how I was imagining. I think the antics
4:39
there described of Mongo and Rend playing in
4:43
this chapter are super cute. They are. I mean,
4:46
like he's not even the size of Mongo's foot and
4:49
they're still playing together, which is just
4:52
a great mental image. Can't wait to see that
4:53
in the show. Well, he's appropriate size to climb
4:56
into Mongo's mouth twice. That just absolutely
4:59
kills me every time Mongo's like sniffing at
5:02
him and Rend just jumps into his mouth. And Mongo
5:07
has absolutely no idea what to do. Well, and
5:11
I like the donut switches chorus from like, no,
5:14
no, Garrett is going to hurt Mongo. I can't have
5:18
this too. Well, this pet is an idiot. It keeps
5:22
trying to get eaten. What are we supposed to
5:24
do with this? Right. Which does lead to the great
5:27
line of only eat who mommy tells you to. That
5:30
sort of thing definitely does happen a lot, either
5:32
telling Mongo to not attack people or not eat
5:35
people or mobs without her telling him to. Something
5:38
that I noticed listening to the book after Rend
5:43
gets introduced is that, for whatever reason,
5:46
Jeff decided to do a lot of sound effects for
5:49
the noises that Rend makes, more so than I would
5:52
say any other non -speaking character in the
5:57
books. And the sound effects he makes for him
5:59
are great. And then also right here after Mongo
6:02
eats him and he throws him up in the audio book,
6:06
the like throwing up kind of sound that Jeff
6:08
makes really sounds like the velociraptor sound
6:11
from Jurassic Park. And I do wonder if he did
6:12
that on purpose. I would think so. Probably.
6:16
So Carl is confused when Mongo eats. friend because
6:21
he's like wait like and pets attack pets in safe
6:24
rooms and that would certainly be an interesting
6:26
workaround if that were the case. I don't think
6:28
it's explored any further than this though. Well
6:31
that leads me to the question can NPCs attack
6:33
NPCs? So no they cannot because Mordecai attacks
6:37
Chaco and gets put in timeout. Maybe the system
6:41
AI just doesn't think that Garrett hopping into
6:44
Mongo's mouth is worthy of AI action. Maybe it's
6:47
beneath his notice. Maybe. I mean, also, like
6:50
Donut said, it was obviously because he's suicidal.
6:52
Are you allowed to kill yourself in the dungeon?
6:54
Can you do harm to yourself in a safe room? No
6:58
answers. Let's not give Matt ideas. Let's not
7:02
go down that rabbit hole. Matt, don't listen
7:04
to it. We're going to cover some of the information
7:07
that we get about Garrett and his tummy -acre
7:11
type of pet that he is. tummy acres are basically
7:16
super tanks they are nearly indestructible and
7:20
once they get to full size they can eat pretty
7:23
much anything obviously there's some limitations
7:26
to that but not many as far as we know he does
7:30
have five weaknesses at this point since he's
7:33
died five times they are sylvan crystal consuming
7:37
hobgoblin sweat and that one i didn't pick up
7:41
on it at first but it's a good thing that carl
7:43
didn't decide to pick Hobgoblin for his race.
7:46
Otherwise, that might be an issue here. Bite
7:48
of a Rivenwing and Consuming Undead Flesh, which
7:52
Surrendered Lord tells Carl that's how he's died
7:54
the most. And then Reaper Gaze, which we don't
7:59
quite know what that is yet. The AI notes in
8:01
his description that they have a lot of tank
8:03
-based abilities, but not really known for their
8:06
offensive abilities. But their Wrecking Ball
8:09
move is a terror on the battlefield. And that
8:12
is definitely foreshadowing what happens later
8:14
in the book when they have their fight with Lucia
8:17
Mar. So Ren would have had to rebond anyways
8:19
because he just died for the fifth time. So he
8:23
would have had to start over again regardless
8:25
with bonding with a crawler. And it is important
8:29
to level him up quick so that he can regenerate
8:33
if he dies. Yeah, because he won't regenerate
8:36
if he dies before level five. Yeah, but it also
8:40
points out that it's really important that they
8:43
do become stronger if they die. But you shouldn't
8:46
try to kill them on purpose to make them stronger.
8:50
That is a bad call. Right. Yeah, it says that,
8:53
you know, the more times they die, the more common
8:55
their weaknesses become. And, you know, the AI
8:58
says that it could be something like coming into
9:01
contact with water could be a pretty big problem.
9:05
Yeah. And Donut says, so it's stupid and effective,
9:08
which Donut, you were a little ball of fur. Like,
9:11
don't be so judgmental. Right. Yeah. I mean,
9:14
almost any direct attack to you activates your
9:17
cockroach skill. Thank God she got that because
9:19
otherwise she would have been dead like 10 times
9:21
over. Yeah, definitely. Well, and I have this
9:24
listed for later. But one of the things that
9:27
I do like about this genre is that it is really
9:31
easy to kind of. just for some common plot holes.
9:37
Like, why is this tiny cat not die all the time?
9:41
Why can they all of a sudden fast travel? We're
9:43
going to talk about that so much next episode.
9:46
We are. Yeah, the fast travel situation that
9:49
they get is extremely helpful. I also just love
9:52
Matt's world building and that he does take the
9:55
time to really lay these things out and explain
9:58
how things work. And the medium that he has of
10:01
using the AI to do that is... just makes it so
10:04
much more fun rather than, I don't know, how
10:06
would they normally do this sort of thing in
10:08
like another book? Usually they do it very badly,
10:11
which is why in season one of Game of Thrones,
10:14
it takes an entire episode to get from Winterfell
10:18
down to the Red Keep. But then in season six,
10:23
they can just have a character run back to get
10:26
Daenerys when they're beyond the wall and she's
10:28
at Dragonstone. Sorry, what I meant was... how
10:32
would they typically go through describing like,
10:35
you know, Rend and what he does and what kind
10:38
of mob he is and what his abilities are in another
10:42
book? So I am going to be super honest that I
10:45
do not read a lot of books that are patterned
10:49
after video games. So in a typical fantasy book,
10:53
what you would do is you would have one character
10:56
info dumping on another. So like you would have
10:59
Katya walking in and being like, Hey, is that
11:02
a bellyacre? And then Mordecai would be like,
11:05
yeah, so that is a bellyacre. Like they're really
11:08
great pets because they're really good at destroying
11:10
stuff. But they do have some downsides. Like
11:13
usually they have weaknesses. Let's look at this
11:16
tummyacre and try to figure out if we can see
11:18
what his weaknesses are. Got it. Okay. Or in
11:21
the Mistborn Chronicles or like in the Mistborn
11:25
series, they describe how the magic system works.
11:30
every single time they use magic. I love that
11:33
book so much, but that part does kind of make
11:35
me want to stab myself in the face a bit. Yeah,
11:37
I got very tired of them explaining what metals
11:41
they were using to do what every single time
11:43
throughout this course of just one fight. Like,
11:47
we get it. But I will say that, you know, there
11:50
are different preferences for different people.
11:52
And people on Reddit will be like, you have to
11:55
read Mistborn because they are so good at describing
11:58
their magic system. And I'm like, OK, if you
12:01
say so, buddy. They are. They just do it too
12:04
much. All right. So we're going to move on. Say
12:07
something nice about Brandon Sanderson. Brandon
12:09
Sanderson wrote a very compelling story. And
12:11
I loved the story. I was very hooked. Obviously,
12:15
it's nothing compared to. our obsession with
12:18
dungeon crawler Carl. So we're going to move
12:20
on. Carl decides that he's hungry and that he's
12:24
going to get some food from his food box. Oh
12:26
no. Yeah. So he's trying to get a sandwich and
12:30
it comes out as a sausage sandwich crumbled up
12:34
in a bowl of chowder. And Carl's like, what the
12:37
hell? This is supposed to be optional. And he
12:39
hits the food box, which makes a petulant beep
12:42
at him. And I just love that all of their like
12:45
service type robots, Are so sassy. Definitely.
12:49
And we've heard references to two different versions
12:53
of the crawl where everything talks to them.
12:56
Oh, God. Yeah, I mean, we were talking about
13:00
that in Porthos' chapter. Yeah, I mean, imagine
13:04
what it was like in Porthos' crawl where all
13:07
the items talked to you. And they were insane,
13:10
all of them. I mean, his chatterbox is a little
13:12
insane. I mean, the cleaner bot is insane, but
13:16
I do, you know, is the AI, I guess the cleaner
13:19
bot isn't insane, but. Yeah, the cleaner bot
13:21
isn't insane, don't you? What do you mean about
13:23
the cleaner bot? Is the food box deciding to
13:27
do this or is this just another way of the AI
13:29
fucking with Carl? Probably a little bit of A
13:31
and a little bit of B. I'm going to go heavier
13:33
on the AI fucking with Carl here. So while Carl
13:37
is dealing with the food box, Donut says, Carl,
13:40
if we are going to heal our relationship, you
13:42
need to pay attention to me. Yeah. And I mean,
13:44
Carl says he is paying attention or he often
13:46
does things like this, though, where people are
13:49
worried he's not giving them his full attention.
13:51
Then we get into the whole naming. convention
13:54
that kind of takes course over the rest of this
13:57
chapter while other things are going on and I
13:59
don't feel the need to break down everything
14:02
that Donut has to say about naming conventions.
14:05
She has a lot to say. She really does and it
14:08
is very entertaining but definitely not something
14:10
that we're going to completely break down. You
14:12
don't want to completely break down Princess
14:14
Chonk a lot? I mean what else are we breaking
14:17
down there other than that's her grandma and
14:19
she shattered all of her records. She does talk
14:21
about naming something number two or the second
14:25
version of and she talks about Trixie's secret
14:27
talent take two who is named after her mother
14:31
and she says let me tell you it gave that cat
14:33
serious mental issues she was more of an attention
14:35
whore than you would normally expect from that
14:37
breed of cat yeah and I just want to note that
14:39
we actually have a friend who's a dog breeder
14:41
and does dog shows and they have insane names
14:44
they really do go online and look up the names
14:46
of prize winning like dogs and cats they're wild
14:49
Nona is very concerned that if he's given the
14:52
wrong name, that it would make him even more
14:54
mentally unstable, maybe valid. I mean, he did
14:57
jump in Mongo's mouth. So, like, there's maybe
15:01
some basis to what she's saying. I mean, there's
15:04
certainly basis to, like, let's not do anything
15:06
else to contribute to him being an idiot. Yeah,
15:10
he is super sweet and he's very easy for Carl
15:13
to bond with. And they bond after just one feeding
15:16
when Wren told him that it might take several
15:19
times. Yes, and Wren meaning Serendal Gore. As
15:23
Dona is going through her whole name diatribe,
15:26
she says, nobody likes late season additions.
15:29
I would say that arguably that's not true because
15:33
you know who is a late addition to Dungeon Crawler
15:36
Carl and maybe the most popular character? No.
15:40
Samantha, who's entering right now. Oh, here
15:42
comes Samantha with Katya and Louie. I'm legit.
15:47
Like, because Samantha doesn't get introduced
15:49
until halfway through book four. Whenever I know
15:52
someone who's reading the series, it is kind
15:55
of like, oh, are you at Samantha yet? Oh, are
15:57
you at Samantha yet? Has she shown up yet? Yes,
15:59
you asked me about a dozen times. And I was just
16:02
like, okay, like, calm down. And then I understood.
16:05
I feel it was completely justified. It was. It
16:09
was definitely worth the wait. I feel like maybe
16:11
if she was there from the very beginning, it
16:13
wouldn't be as special. I agree. Yeah, yeah.
16:17
So Samantha, Katya, and Louis come into the safe
16:21
room, the shared space, and Samantha is screaming
16:25
about Tish and that she is going to kill Tish,
16:29
and Jonah tells her to not blame Tish for what
16:32
happened, blame Ghazi, the Mad Dune mage. Yeah,
16:36
that's a little hypocritical of Donut. Why? Because
16:40
she's, like, screaming at Carl about him adopting
16:44
this tummy -acre when, like, it's kind of a logical
16:47
and reasonable thing for him to do. Yeah, I guess.
16:50
And he's doing a favor for a friend. And I do
16:54
absolutely think that Samantha should blame Gazi
16:58
for what happened. He made a lot of very poor
17:01
choices, and we're gonna... get a great breakdown
17:04
of that because I guess Matt assumed a lot of
17:08
us forgot how that whole situation went down
17:11
so he reminds us. Thank you Matt. I didn't exactly
17:13
remember who Tish was so that's somewhat fair.
17:16
Or Ghazi. The name Ghazi. I did remember who
17:19
Ghazi was. I couldn't remember at first like
17:21
the name but once I realized who it was it did
17:24
come. It came back to me. But Samantha is saying
17:28
that she's going to kill Katya too for stopping
17:30
her from exacting revenge on Tish. Carl reminds
17:33
her that he told her to stop threatening people.
17:37
It's not going well. Good luck with that. I don't
17:41
think that that stops or goes to a lesser degree
17:45
at any point. Coming up next, we have... the
17:48
hair regrowth kit and thank god katya is here
17:52
to help with that carl and donut have been waiting
17:54
for her and there are three hair mixes and like
17:58
over a dozen different recipes for every type
18:01
of hair on your body why would you need to regrow
18:04
pubic hair i mean you know this wasn't made specifically
18:07
for crawlers so you know maybe you did laser
18:11
hair removal and decided you didn't like the
18:14
results I think everyone has bigger problems
18:17
in here. Again, this wasn't made specifically
18:20
for crawlers. It was a pyramid scheme for first
18:24
-level mobs. If they sold enough of it, then
18:28
they could go down to the next floor. But that
18:29
specific selling program got nixed. It was part
18:33
of the whole Rev Up storyline. That's where the
18:36
Juggabooms came from. It was a pyramid scheme,
18:41
okay? But the pubic hair, the reason we mentioned
18:45
that is because Katya notes that the mixture
18:48
for the eyelashes is very similar to pubic hair,
18:51
so she has to get it just right. I mean, I think
18:55
that there's a lot of setup here that something
18:57
is going to go wrong with this, but it ends up
18:59
not being anyone's fault. Yeah, this is very
19:02
true. So throughout this whole naming debacle...
19:06
Katya is still trying to do Carl's hair, and
19:08
he keeps talking, and Katya is very passive -aggressively
19:12
telling him to stop moving, and surprisingly,
19:16
him moving does not result in disaster. Disaster
19:19
strikes in another way. We'll cover that. And
19:21
it's nobody's fault. It is nobody's fault, allegedly.
19:25
So where are we going from here? What do you
19:27
mean, allegedly? It's nobody's fault. Allegedly.
19:29
You're just saying words now. Yeah. Everyone's
19:33
in the room, and... They're asking how Garrett
19:36
is there and Carl lets Donut take the lead on
19:41
that. And she tells the story in a very different
19:45
way than Carl might have. What I like about it
19:48
is I feel that people are used to Donut's rants
19:51
at this point and they don't really engage with
19:53
what she's saying. Right. And I imagine at this
19:56
point that people are probably good at reading
19:58
between the lines. And some people, you know,
20:01
obviously have an idea of how things went down
20:04
with Sarandagore and her crew, even if they don't
20:07
know the specifics of, you know, how Carl ended
20:09
up with Garrett. I believe Louie says that, you
20:12
know, he feels that Ren could have been saved,
20:15
but she just she was done. And really, she got
20:19
out lucky that she didn't have to experience
20:22
any more trauma because mentally she just couldn't
20:25
take anymore. Yeah. And I know we've mentioned
20:28
it in. previous episode but you know that scene
20:31
that chapter is just so heart -wrenching i cried
20:34
um she got out on her own terms and she went
20:37
out like a badass so as part of the naming conversation
20:40
louis says if you can't keep his name you should
20:43
name him meatball louis said or ball sack like
20:46
ball sack and he laughed and then he says how
20:49
about sherman like a tank which do you know what
20:52
sherman tanks are named after uh they're named
20:54
after a general i believe Yes, General Sherman,
20:57
who burned down Atlanta. And your fun Atlanta
21:01
fact for this episode is that the Carter Center
21:04
is actually on Sherman's headquarters here in
21:07
Atlanta. Oh, I didn't know that. Well, I knew
21:10
that Sherman burned down Atlanta. You know, Sherman,
21:12
I think, would have actually been a pretty great
21:14
name for Rend. So the other name that Louis suggests
21:17
is Tugboat. And that is the name of the boss's
21:20
dog and How I Met Your Mother. The evil but not
21:23
evil boss. But he's trying to rescue his dog,
21:26
Tugboat, and they say the name Tugboat and are
21:28
like, the dog Tugboat like 10 million times.
21:31
Right. And Donut is like, I will not have you
21:34
saying goddammit Tugboat over and over again.
21:36
Can you imagine how annoying that would be? Well,
21:38
that's why Donut is our lampshade hangar in chief.
21:42
She's the best at it. So Samantha decides that
21:45
she is naming him Kimmy. Kimmy the second. This
21:49
is actually one of my favorite jokes because
21:50
someone says, but we don't know who Kimmy the
21:53
first is, which I think is hilarious. Who is?
21:56
Yeah, we don't know who Kimmy the first is. We
21:58
don't know who Kimmy the second is. Don't know
22:00
where this came from. It would be a cute name,
22:02
I guess. But I think it's just Samantha being
22:05
Samantha and being random. OK, so let's just
22:07
not read too much into that. This whole naming
22:09
thing is going on way too long. Carl points that
22:12
out. And Matt is also saying that to us. Definitely
22:16
some more lampshade hanging. Definitely. And
22:18
with all the disagreement, maybe this doesn't
22:20
bode the best for their team decision making
22:23
heading into Faction Wars. No, thank God they
22:26
have Florin. Thank God for Florin. You know,
22:28
Donut decides that, you know what, if we are
22:30
going to name him, it needs to be something important
22:32
now that they've decided they're going to keep
22:34
him and that, you know, names have to mean something.
22:37
And Carl's like, wasn't your cousin named Skittles
22:42
and your grandma was named Queen Chonklot? Fantastic
22:45
name. Moving on, everyone is being super cute
22:49
with Rend and this is my own unhinged take or
22:54
random idea that I had. So Rend goes up and rubs
22:58
himself on Batista's hairy foot. And that made
23:02
me think, imagine if the AI also liked hairy
23:06
feet and then, you know, Batista would get some
23:09
kind of ridiculous achievement for having a bellyache
23:12
or rub themselves on his foot. I can see it happening.
23:16
It is an unhinged idea, but it does bring up
23:18
the good point that we don't know what other
23:21
achievements people besides Carl are getting
23:24
unless they specifically tell us about it. Mm
23:26
hmm. Again, going to be great to find out more
23:29
about that when Florence comes out. So by this
23:34
point, Katya has finished the eyelashes and the
23:37
eyebrows and she needs to move on to Carl's hair.
23:39
And she says that she needs Splash Zone's help
23:41
for that. And it was interesting. So when Splash
23:45
Zone. Comes in. It says that he is wearing Carl's
23:48
boots that he got on an earlier floor. And Carl
23:52
doesn't give it to him. So where did he get the
23:54
boots? I think that he would have gotten the
23:57
boots from like the stockpiles of like armor
24:00
and items and weapons that they've set aside
24:03
for like their army and such. And I think that
24:05
they just kind of have those like in piles around
24:08
their base. I guess red cowboy boots are essential
24:11
equipment for, you know, supplying their army.
24:15
Does it say they're red cowboy boots? Does it?
24:18
Yep. Interesting. I didn't catch that. That actually
24:21
might be another How I Met Your Mother reference.
24:24
Yeah. Yeah. Actually, it could be. So maybe a
24:27
couple How I Met Your Mother references in this
24:29
chapter. Yeah. I kind of feel like maybe someone
24:31
was on rewatch when writing this. Quite possibly.
24:35
I mean, well, he actually, Matt has said he did
24:38
not watch Gossip Girls, but his kids do. Yes.
24:42
I imagine that, Matt. would maybe be the one
24:44
watching How I Met Your Mother, but could also
24:47
be his kids too. So Katya gets Splash Zone to
24:50
help and she says that he needs to do his wet
24:53
spot routine to wash the mixture off of Carl's
24:57
head. And I guess that means that she's watched
25:00
him strip. I suppose she has. Yeah. She very
25:03
specifically tells him, do what you do in the
25:06
club. And then it says that he starts grinding
25:08
his hips for no reason while he prepares. Yeah.
25:13
So I enjoyed that. Yeah. And I mean, like, we
25:17
all know that Donut, of course, goes and hangs
25:18
out with the strippers and the penis parade all
25:20
the time. All right. Like, Carl's getting very
25:22
nervous here. And a little bit of the hair growth
25:26
mixture splashes out of the little pan and onto
25:28
the counter. And it just immediately grows hair.
25:32
I can see where that would be concerning. It
25:35
would be. And surprisingly, the cleaner robot
25:38
did not make a petulant beep at that. I would
25:41
make a petulant beep at that. I'd be quite upset
25:43
if our counter started growing here. I mean,
25:46
if it did, we obviously maybe haven't been cleaning,
25:49
which is not how we run things around here. Anyhow.
25:53
I also just want to say, because it's kind of
25:55
funny, that Roomba actually declared bankruptcy
25:58
the day we're recording this. Rest in peace,
26:00
Roomba. We'll miss you. So, you know, Batista
26:03
says that if they're going to name Rend after
26:07
anybody, that they should name it after Sarandagore.
26:10
Everyone kind of agrees on this and Louis ends
26:13
up suggesting Sir Rendlegore. Well, I actually
26:17
really like that because Louis did take everyone's
26:20
input and covered everyone's concerns when he
26:23
suggested a name, which I think is some really
26:25
good insight, especially because we learn at
26:27
the end of this book that the author definitely
26:30
thinks very high of Louis and thinks he's a great
26:31
guy. So I think that this is some good seeding
26:34
for that. Yeah, I absolutely agree. And the name
26:38
that he comes up with also fits the Royal Court
26:41
of Princess Donut theme. So obviously she's going
26:44
to be cool with that. So cut to we find out that
26:48
Splashstone was not able to cast his water spell
26:52
because it is technically classified as an offensive
26:54
spell. So we have this hair mishap and Carl has
26:58
long, luscious hair going all the way down to
27:01
his hips. Natalie says, I'm going to start calling
27:04
you Fabio. And Mordecai suggests that if he wants
27:09
to, you know, start over, he can just shove his
27:11
head back up Samantha again. Yeah, because that
27:13
wasn't super dramatic the first time. Samantha
27:16
says that she likes it. And she says, you look
27:19
like one of the guys in your Christmas present
27:21
book covers you haven't even opened yet. And
27:24
I find this very interesting because even if
27:29
the books are just wrapped up by Donut, Amani,
27:34
Ellie, whatever. After Carl's experience with
27:38
the cookbook, where he gets a book that is not
27:41
what it appears to be, I am actually shocked
27:45
that he hasn't opened those and looked at it.
27:47
And I would say that even if it was gifted to
27:50
him by, like, let's say Amani who brought them
27:53
from outside the dungeon or something like that,
27:55
I still believe the AI could alter it. That is
27:58
an interesting thought. You know, my my takeaway
28:01
or kind of like Carl keeps saying that like he
28:04
hasn't gotten around to doing it, which is, I
28:06
think, a cop out. And I think that like he almost
28:10
is putting it off as some kind of deflection
28:13
and some way is like not confronting something
28:15
because he wants to like keep that moment precious
28:19
in some way. Does that make sense? It does. Like
28:23
basically, if he opens the presents and like
28:26
that feeling he had. from Fake Christmas, which
28:29
is definitely something that he has a lot of
28:32
internal conflict about. That moment is over.
28:36
But I just I was really shocked because after
28:38
what happened with the cookbook, I would think
28:41
that he would be like scanning any books that
28:44
he got with a fine tooth comb, trying to make
28:48
sure that they're what they appear. Right. And
28:50
I mean, he gets the other book from the prize
28:52
counter during the Butcher's Masquerade. That
28:54
gave him a bunch of information about, you know,
28:56
different zones that they were going to go into
28:58
on the eighth floor. Obviously, he knew what
29:00
that was when he was getting it. But still, you
29:03
know, they have their book of voodoo. There's
29:04
all of these super interesting and insightful
29:07
and powerful books throughout the series. Yeah,
29:10
I just I was surprised. And we've talked about
29:11
Chekhov's gun. And I would say that those books
29:13
are definitely Chekhov's gun at this moment.
29:15
Although they could also be at this point. They
29:18
could also just be a MacGuffin. Could be that
29:21
as well. Yeah, I'm on the side of a MacGuffin.
29:24
Time will tell. Lauren is coming in again to
29:28
really help things along with the Princess Posse
29:33
Faction Wars army. Donut kind of assigns him
29:37
to start figuring out some of the ranks and such
29:40
for their army. He basically becomes a general,
29:43
one of the top ranking people in their army.
29:46
I guess he would be just below Warlord. And pretty
29:49
much the entire core group of these guys, Katya,
29:52
Louis, Imani. Ellie, et cetera, all become generals.
29:56
And they are also wanting to recruit Li Na and
30:00
Li Jun into their army. But they are out looking
30:03
for a mage to heal his eye. And that does end
30:07
up getting resolved a little later. Not by a
30:10
mage, though. They also say that they're going
30:12
to have a hard time recruiting Li Na. Yeah, because
30:15
they can't touch her. And then Mistress Tiatha,
30:18
Ellie's perpetually inebriated manager. says
30:21
that she has some kind of idea for this, and
30:24
I guess this does get resolved, but I don't remember
30:27
what the resolution is right now. Yeah, we'll
30:29
cover that in a later chapter. We'll say in Mistress
30:31
Tiafa's defense that Mordecai is also perpetually
30:35
drunk. Is he? At the beginning, he sure is. Oh,
30:38
yeah, at the beginning. I think she just doesn't
30:41
handle her alcohol as well as Mordecai does.
30:44
Yeah, I mean, Mordecai could be brewing up all
30:46
sorts of alcohol at his potions table. I don't
30:49
think he is, though, because I think his obsession
30:52
with potions is replacing the need that the alcoholism
30:56
was filling for him. I think now that he has
30:59
crawlers that are doing well, he is really invested
31:02
in them. And he's also invested in how much more
31:06
he's learning about potions. You also see this
31:08
in the Hunger Games where Hamish is super drunk.
31:12
And all he does is get fucked up when we first
31:15
meet him. But then he agrees to stop drinking
31:18
because he feels that Katniss and Peeta have
31:21
promised. Yeah, very interesting. I love that
31:25
we have you for all of your literary references.
31:27
I'm going to keep saying that because if this
31:30
was just me making a podcast, I would have very
31:33
few and far between literary references to make.
31:36
Well, I don't make enough stupid jokes, so we
31:38
balance each other out. There we go. That's why
31:40
we started a podcast together. It'd be pretty
31:43
boring if we both just had the exact same opinions,
31:45
right? Yeah. So all of the strippers become sergeant
31:49
first class and they can recruit and command
31:51
ace troops, legionnaires, which would be things
31:55
like the sluglows. Which is hilarious. Yeah.
31:59
NPCs. Well, I guess strippers aren't. I mean,
32:01
they are NPCs. I do think that that is worth
32:06
going into a little bit, that there are NPCs
32:09
who are with the Princess Posse and not with
32:13
Team Retribution. Right. Well, there are definitely
32:16
different kinds of NPCs that are more sentient
32:20
than others. That, you know, obviously is a huge
32:22
part of Juicebox's entire mission and everything.
32:26
And, you know, they're going around and like
32:28
waking up all of the NPCs, you know, but there
32:30
are obviously different kinds. For example, in
32:33
the Desperado Club, they have waitresses that
32:36
are very, very base level NPCs. They can barely
32:40
even like have a conversation with you. So, yeah,
32:43
we have a lot of different kinds of NPCs. Everyone
32:45
kind of thinks that the Sluglows are just like
32:47
base level and stupid, but they actually turn
32:51
out to have a good bit of depth to them. They
32:53
do. Yeah. So Florin and Imani heal off. They're
32:57
going to go over to the castle, the headquarters,
33:00
and they're going to meet with Baroness Victory.
33:02
Yay, my favorite character. I know. We're going
33:05
to be meeting her next chapter. Ellie is also
33:08
following along. She's going to go on a recon
33:11
mission because she is their official scout.
33:14
Yeah, and this is where they get their doggy
33:16
door update, which is necessary to make a lot
33:19
of this plot happen. Because a lot of this plot
33:23
just does not happen without fast travel. And
33:25
like we kind of touched on earlier, that's one
33:28
of the really nice things about this genre is
33:30
there's ways to write that in that aren't plot
33:32
holes. Yeah, I mean, with this genre and just
33:35
with like what Matt has set up, pretty much anything
33:38
is possible in this dungeon because you have
33:42
a nearly omnipotent AI running it. So there's
33:46
no limits to the kind of technology that can
33:48
be implemented. Boy, oh boy. They have a laundry
33:52
list of things that they need to get done. They've
33:54
got to recruit troops. They need to figure out
33:57
some of the rule changes that have taken place.
34:00
They need to go and find Juicebox and meet with
34:03
her and figure out what's going on over there.
34:06
They've got to pull all their money and purchase
34:07
Tier 3 space upgrades. And the most vital task.
34:12
Kill the Nagas. Kill them all. Kill the entire
34:15
blood soul in it. So Carl says that he is grateful
34:18
that he is able to allocate responsibilities
34:20
to others. And this is huge growth for him because
34:23
he's an absolute control freak. Right. Yeah.
34:26
Like anytime they have a mission or something
34:27
going on, he's in the chat talking about other
34:30
people's roles. And they're like, Carl, you have
34:32
your own shit to do. Focus on that. Like, we're
34:34
OK. Yeah, definitely. But Florin is absolutely
34:38
key to all of this, as we mentioned earlier.
34:41
And I think that both the characters in the book
34:44
and us, the readers, are just wanting to know
34:47
more and more about his background. And we are
34:50
super grateful that there is a graphic novel
34:53
coming out. And just kind of a funny aside, one
34:57
of our friends actually said that they wanted
35:00
a book just about Florin before this was announced.
35:03
Yeah, I mean, that would have been one of my
35:04
choices for sure. And, you know, I would guess
35:07
that Florence background, some kind of special
35:10
ops or something. My best guess. Do they have
35:12
special ops in Australia? I'm sure they do. And
35:15
I was going to say, I know it's messed up because
35:17
we think of that is such a US based thing. But
35:22
like, obviously, other countries have to have
35:24
that kind of thing, too. Right. Yeah. You got
35:26
the KGB. You got the M9. Is that what they're
35:29
called in England? I thought it was M6, but I
35:31
could be wrong. M6, yeah, something like that.
35:33
Carl is giving Katya access to his workbench
35:37
so that Katya can start building a wheelchair
35:40
for Tran. She's going to start building some
35:42
vehicles, trucks, etc. And this is also how she
35:47
builds the spider legs for a lot of people's
35:51
favorite character, Jamal. Oh, we're going to
35:54
talk about that later because Nikki and I have
35:56
differing opinions on Jamal. I'm not a fan. Sorry.
36:00
I think he's hilarious. I just can't get with
36:04
it. But lass, here we are. Okay, well, before
36:06
we recorded this today, we were in the car coming
36:10
home from dinner. And I was rereading the chapter
36:12
to be ready. And we went on a super long tangent
36:16
about hair ties, which I think was super interesting.
36:20
We are going to try to condense it down a bit.
36:22
So Brittany is giving hair ties to Carl, which
36:27
brings up the question. Where are the hair ties
36:30
coming from? Right. Now, I will say that Brittany
36:34
seems very high maintenance about her appearance
36:38
from everything that we know about her. And anything
36:41
that you had with you when you came into the
36:44
dungeon, you weren't allowed to keep. Right.
36:46
So and keep in mind. How many hair ties could
36:49
she bring in with her? Have you seen the size
36:52
of some girls purses? I guess, but like even
36:55
if you're like a very high maintenance appearance,
36:58
you know, focused kind of person, are you carrying
37:01
around like 50 hair ties? There are some girls
37:04
who have 50 hair ties in their purse. Wow. I
37:06
am low maintenance and I have very short hair
37:08
and I have two in my purse at all time and I
37:11
have a tiny purse. Yeah. Okay. But also if she
37:15
didn't bring in the hair ties with her, like.
37:18
Where is she getting hair ties from in the dungeon?
37:20
I can't imagine they're being sold in shops.
37:22
You know, maybe some of the other maybe NPC type
37:25
characters have some use for hair ties. They
37:27
have like a ponytail or something. I mean, girls
37:30
do need hair ties if they're going to be fighting.
37:31
And Brittany references that where she says,
37:34
make sure that you have your hair up. Otherwise,
37:37
you know, it can be used as a weapon against
37:38
you. And don't see that happen. I can certainly
37:42
see that that might have happened to her at some
37:44
point. And like, there's also the possibility
37:46
that she could have gotten these in a loot box.
37:48
She could have gotten them from some achievement.
37:50
Maybe she did get her hair pulled and the AI
37:53
was like, new achievement, blah, blah, blah,
37:54
reward. Here you go. Here's some hair ties in
37:57
a box. New achievement. Some bitch pulled your
38:00
hair. Reward. Hair ties. It seems completely
38:03
reasonable. It is. I mean, you know, Carl gets
38:06
a condom, a sushi making kit. Red boots. Red
38:10
boots. Bagpipes. Donut gets a carton kilt. I
38:15
mean, Carl even mentions at one point that he
38:18
has a folder in his inventory of like useless
38:21
shit that I'll never use. Yeah, it seems completely
38:24
reasonable to me that it was sold in the stores.
38:27
She got it from a loot box. Maybe the NPCs do
38:30
need them. There's lots of options here. That
38:33
is basically the end of the chapter. It finishes
38:36
with them saying that they are going to go and
38:40
see Air Army General Louie's new toy. And we'll
38:44
be finding out a lot more about that in the next
38:47
episode. And we are officially 10 % of the way
38:49
through the book. Yeah, I was talking before
38:52
this. I was like, wow, we still have so much
38:54
left. But, you know, we looked at the Kindle
38:56
app and now we're 10 % of the way through. Guess
39:00
what? We have a TikTok now. It is at highzev2.
39:05
We're going to be posting a series of Dungeon
39:09
Crawler Carl quotes with no context. It's a great
39:12
time. If you would go over there and like and
39:16
give us a follow, it would be very greatly appreciated.
39:20
Thanks for listening. Have a nice week. New achievement.
39:23
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