Latest / The Ben Ferguson Podcast / I will Miss My Friend Grayson Murray

Transcript

I will Miss My Friend Grayson Murray · The Ben Ferguson Podcast

0:01
Speaker 1: I want to start by saying thank you, by the way,
0:07
Speaker 1: to so many of you that listen, that have reached
0:12
Speaker 1: out to me over this weekend. As many of you know,
0:19
Speaker 1: one of my best friends passed away and it was
0:22
Speaker 1: a very public story. I'm gonna do my best to
0:30
Speaker 1: get through this. Grayson Murray was one of my best friends,
0:41
Speaker 1: and I become one of my best friends over the
0:43
Speaker 1: last several years. I got to watch him earlier this
0:48
Speaker 1: year when in Hawaii, and right as he won, I
0:54
Speaker 1: went on the radio to do my national show, and
0:58
Speaker 1: I got to celebrate him because I was just so
1:00
Speaker 1: happy for him and how hard he had been working
1:04
Speaker 1: and how hard he had fought to overcome so much.
1:09
Speaker 1: He had been very public about his struggles with anxiety
1:17
Speaker 1: and depression and alcoholism, and he had been sober now
1:24
Speaker 1: for almost a year and had gotten engaged and things
1:31
Speaker 1: were trending in the right direction. He was I think
1:36
Speaker 1: ranked fifty seventh, fifty eight they six in the world
1:41
Speaker 1: and had made into his first Masters, and I got
1:43
Speaker 1: to go see him at the Masters. It was a
1:46
Speaker 1: dream getting to watch your friend play his dream out
1:49
Speaker 1: in real life, in real time. And he was not
1:55
Speaker 1: a golfer, to me first. He was my friend. I
1:59
Speaker 1: had told him many at times, I don't care if
2:02
Speaker 1: you ever hit a golf ball again in your life.
2:04
Speaker 1: I want you to be happy and I just want
2:06
Speaker 1: to know you're going to be okay. And that was
2:09
Speaker 1: in reference to some of the load times I had
2:14
Speaker 1: told him many times, I don't care if you ever
2:15
Speaker 1: hit a golf ball again, as long as you stay sober,
2:19
Speaker 1: and whatever we need to do to figure out how
2:21
Speaker 1: to keep you sober, then let's do it. Grayson took
2:29
Speaker 1: his own life on Saturday, and it rocked the sports
2:32
Speaker 1: world and bled over into you know, mainstream media, and
2:39
Speaker 1: it was a story that had people reacting in the
2:43
Speaker 1: country music world that knew him, and the sports world
2:46
Speaker 1: and the golf world, in the hockey world, he was
2:48
Speaker 1: a huge Hurricanes fan, and so many of you that
2:54
Speaker 1: knew that he was my friend had reached out, and
2:57
Speaker 1: I wanted to make sure I took a moment and said,
2:59
Speaker 1: first of all, thank you. I also wanted to use
3:05
Speaker 1: this moment to tell you about who he was as
3:08
Speaker 1: a person, because I wanted to be used for good,
3:16
Speaker 1: hopefully to help others that are dealing with anxiety and
3:18
Speaker 1: depression and fighting alcoholism. It is a fight, it is
3:23
Speaker 1: a battle. It is a lifelong battle for many. And
3:29
Speaker 1: I also want you to know who he was as
3:31
Speaker 1: a person. Grayson was to me more of like a
3:36
Speaker 1: little brother. I'm forty two, he was thirty, and when
3:43
Speaker 1: we met, I don't know, nine years ago. We met
3:49
Speaker 1: when he was really young, he was like twenty one,
3:52
Speaker 1: twenty two. And I'd been blessed to see pro golfers perform,
3:58
Speaker 1: you know, side by side in the same cart, getting
4:00
Speaker 1: to play the same round before, and there's they're all amazing,
4:04
Speaker 1: but then there's an X factor with golfers where there's
4:06
Speaker 1: some that are just special, They're just different. And I
4:11
Speaker 1: remember coming home after we played together and I told
4:14
Speaker 1: my wife, I said, he's he's next level, Like he's
4:17
Speaker 1: not average. It's unbelievable. And he was, and watching him perform,
4:24
Speaker 1: and when he won two times last year on the
4:26
Speaker 1: corn Ferry Tour at once in Nashville, and I got
4:29
Speaker 1: to be there and spend time with him during that victory,
4:31
Speaker 1: which was so much fun to watch to get his
4:33
Speaker 1: tour card back, because in golf, you can you're only
4:37
Speaker 1: as good basically as your last year. And he had
4:41
Speaker 1: won before in the tour, so they have what they
4:42
Speaker 1: call champion status, but it doesn't get you into a
4:44
Speaker 1: lot of tournaments. And he said, all right, I'm just
4:46
Speaker 1: going to focus on getting my card back so I
4:48
Speaker 1: don't have to worry about what next year is. I
4:51
Speaker 1: don't have to worry about am I going to play
4:53
Speaker 1: this tournament or not get in, or to get into
4:55
Speaker 1: this tournament, not get into this tournament. And he just
4:58
Speaker 1: kind of humbled himself, went back and really focused and
5:01
Speaker 1: got his card back by winning twice. Uh to go
5:04
Speaker 1: back to the PGA Tour full time and then in
5:08
Speaker 1: the first two tournaments the year you won. Now that's
5:10
Speaker 1: life changing for most people that aren't dealing with anxiety
5:15
Speaker 1: and depression because you get not just to win and
5:19
Speaker 1: obviously a massive payday of a million plus dollars. I
5:25
Speaker 1: don't remember how much he made for that tournament, but
5:26
Speaker 1: it was a lot. But you also get exemptions into
5:31
Speaker 1: the Masters and into the PGA and into the you know,
5:35
Speaker 1: into some of these majors, and you get into these
5:37
Speaker 1: elevated field events where where you know there's there some
5:41
Speaker 1: of them are no cut and and and the pressure
5:43
Speaker 1: you get to make your own schedule instead of like
5:47
Speaker 1: am I in this week or am I not next week?
5:49
Speaker 1: Kind of thing, And there's a lot of just relaxing
5:54
Speaker 1: that comes from that that you get to play freely
5:56
Speaker 1: because of that, because you're not worried about, Okay, if
5:58
Speaker 1: I don't have a good week this week, if I
6:00
Speaker 1: don't make the cut, then what do I do next week?
6:02
Speaker 1: Am I not playing next week? And I hope that
6:04
Speaker 1: understand You understand that, but there's a lot of anxiety
6:07
Speaker 1: that comes with that. And he won and it gives
6:09
Speaker 1: you also to your exemption for two years. You have
6:11
Speaker 1: your card no matter what, no matter how good or bad.
6:14
Speaker 1: So let's play your free up to just play. And
6:18
Speaker 1: he did that so early in the year, and it
6:20
Speaker 1: was so great because like, Okay, now we can plan
6:22
Speaker 1: our life basically for the next two years. I can
6:24
Speaker 1: plan where I'm playing, I can give my weeks off,
6:27
Speaker 1: I can you know, really be in charge. And I
6:32
Speaker 1: think that tells you just how stressful depression anxiety are
6:40
Speaker 1: and alcoholism that you can have all of that security
6:45
Speaker 1: and still battle. It's so real. And Grayson was not
6:52
Speaker 1: just a friend to me, but he was also very
6:55
Speaker 1: much like a big brother to my son and I
6:59
Speaker 1: don't talk that much about my kids. A lot of
7:06
Speaker 1: it's because of just safety and the crazies out there
7:09
Speaker 1: in the world. But I will tell you that my
7:13
Speaker 1: son is very, very blessed at a very young age
7:17
Speaker 1: to be a phenomenal golfer. He's ranked second in the
7:21
Speaker 1: world right now. And I will tell you a story
7:25
Speaker 1: just because I want you to know who Grayson was.
7:31
Speaker 1: Grayson would FaceTime on the regular basis. He would he
7:35
Speaker 1: would be bored to determinent. He'd called me and he
7:38
Speaker 1: nine times out of ten, we're on the golf course
7:40
Speaker 1: and he would be like, all right, let me see
7:42
Speaker 1: his swing, and so I would show him and he
7:45
Speaker 1: would work with him over the phone. Right, I want
7:47
Speaker 1: you to, you know, turn your shoulder more, you're not
7:49
Speaker 1: rotating enough, or your you know, your head's you know,
7:53
Speaker 1: your shoulders are at an angle I don't like, or
7:55
Speaker 1: drop your hands a little bit more. And he was
7:56
Speaker 1: constantly just encouraging and supporting my son. And his birthday
8:04
Speaker 1: a couple of years ago, when he turned I think
8:05
Speaker 1: it was five, he got he was like, what are
8:09
Speaker 1: you guys up to this week? I was like, Bradley's
8:11
Speaker 1: birthday is on whatever day it was Tuesday and he goes,
8:15
Speaker 1: He goes, that's tomorrow. I said, yeah, he goes, Shoot,
8:18
Speaker 1: I got to get him a gift. I was like, dud,
8:19
Speaker 1: don't worry about it's not a big deal. He's like, no, no, no, no,
8:22
Speaker 1: text me. I just right now, I got some I
8:23
Speaker 1: want to send him. And he went to FedEx and
8:26
Speaker 1: he FedEx me like a I'm not kidding. It's a
8:29
Speaker 1: tour putter that's probably worth five grand that's had his
8:32
Speaker 1: name stamped in it, and fedexed it and the receipt
8:35
Speaker 1: was in there, and you know he was hurrying to
8:37
Speaker 1: get it. I think out in time and left it
8:39
Speaker 1: in the box. And he spent one hundred and sixty
8:41
Speaker 1: dollars shipping him his gift. That's who Grayson was. He
8:45
Speaker 1: wanted to make sure that Bradley knew he was special
8:49
Speaker 1: and important on his birthday when he turned five, and
8:52
Speaker 1: it wasn't going to be a day. Late last year,
8:58
Speaker 1: Bradley was competing in the World Golf Championships at Pinehurst
9:02
Speaker 1: and it is if you want to see this tournament,
9:07
Speaker 1: how crazy it is. There's a there's a documentary on
9:09
Speaker 1: Netflix called The Short Game and it's about the World
9:13
Speaker 1: Championships at Pinehurst, and Bradley saw this video, he said,
9:18
Speaker 1: golf one day on Netflix in this video camp and
9:20
Speaker 1: saw these kids and he hit play and at that
9:24
Speaker 1: moment he fell in love with golf and was like,
9:26
Speaker 1: I want to do that. That's what I want to do.
9:28
Speaker 1: And so he's watched it. I'm not kidding. We've watched
9:30
Speaker 1: it probably two hundred times. Like he'll be like, we
9:34
Speaker 1: know the music, we know every line, and I'm like, well,
9:37
Speaker 1: it's not a cartoon, So like we'll let him watch it.
9:39
Speaker 1: And he got into the World champions You have to qualify.
9:41
Speaker 1: You can't go unless you're one of the best in
9:43
Speaker 1: your area. You have to shoot certain scores to even qualify,
9:46
Speaker 1: and it's not easy to get in. And and he
9:49
Speaker 1: was there last year and Grayson said, I want to
9:53
Speaker 1: come down and watch him, but I'm going to stay
9:55
Speaker 1: far away. I don't want to make him nervous. Like, dude,
9:56
Speaker 1: don't don't do that. You're not gonna make him nervous.
10:00
Speaker 1: He's gonna play better because you're there, You're you're you're
10:04
Speaker 1: his you're his friend. Like it's not he's not gonna
10:08
Speaker 1: be intimidate. He's gonna be pumped that you're there, and
10:11
Speaker 1: so he goes, Okay, I'm gonna come down. I'll come down, though,
10:13
Speaker 1: I want to get with him when he's practicing before
10:15
Speaker 1: the round so's he'll know I'm there and that he
10:17
Speaker 1: won't be like super excited. On the first t I
10:18
Speaker 1: was like, okay, perfect, and he showed up and it
10:23
Speaker 1: was his birthday, Bradley's birthday. The same day that the
10:26
Speaker 1: first round of the tournament was Bradley's birthday. The first
10:30
Speaker 1: round of the tournament, you know, when your son's playing
10:34
Speaker 1: on his birthday, you have this fear that he's gonna
10:37
Speaker 1: play bad and not have a great birthday. Right, be
10:39
Speaker 1: upset because you've been working so hard for this one
10:44
Speaker 1: tournament the biggest term of the year, hands down. I mean,
10:47
Speaker 1: to be able to say you're a world champion is
10:50
Speaker 1: something that people can't take away from you the rest
10:52
Speaker 1: of your life, even if it was when you were
10:53
Speaker 1: six years old. And he was turning seven that and
11:01
Speaker 1: Grayson came over to the putting green and Bradley saw
11:04
Speaker 1: him and got excited and gave him a big hug,
11:06
Speaker 1: and then you know, went through his routine and he
11:10
Speaker 1: was giving advice on the greens and talking about how
11:13
Speaker 1: the grass was growing and how this grass is standing
11:15
Speaker 1: up a little bit, so make sure you get the
11:17
Speaker 1: ball rolling, don't hit the bottom of the ball. And
11:19
Speaker 1: and of course Bradley understood he's talking about but he's listening.
11:22
Speaker 1: And then we went over to the driving range and
11:25
Speaker 1: Bradley was just flushing the ball and he looked at me.
11:30
Speaker 1: He's like, dude, he could win this thing. And I
11:32
Speaker 1: was like, I know, like he's playing really good right now.
11:35
Speaker 1: We were just grinning and then we get in the
11:38
Speaker 1: golf cart. They have shuttles and they take you over
11:41
Speaker 1: to the first tee and he walked over to Bradley
11:45
Speaker 1: and he said, right for the first tea shot he
11:47
Speaker 1: said to me, he said, hey, one shot at time, buddy,
11:51
Speaker 1: one shot at a time. Just think about the next shot,
11:54
Speaker 1: move on quickly. And he was like, all right, I
11:57
Speaker 1: got you. And they fist pumped and we get the
12:02
Speaker 1: first hole and he teased up the ball and he
12:04
Speaker 1: just let it rip and it went straight down the
12:06
Speaker 1: fairway and landed on the green. We started with a
12:08
Speaker 1: birdie and it's off to the races and Bradley wasn't nervous,
12:12
Speaker 1: he was glad his friend was there. He wanted to
12:14
Speaker 1: play good for his friend. He wanted to make Grayson
12:18
Speaker 1: proud that day. And he ended up shooting a bogie free.
12:22
Speaker 1: If you don't know golf, that's hard enough. But three under.
12:26
Speaker 1: He had three birdies, all rest bars, no bogies. And
12:33
Speaker 1: we went to this you know, and and at one point,
12:36
Speaker 1: I think it was a third fourth hole, I misread
12:38
Speaker 1: a putt and Bradley missed the putt and it would
12:43
Speaker 1: have been for another birdie. And we're walking off the green.
12:46
Speaker 1: Bradley's walking up. I had to get some water from
12:48
Speaker 1: his mom, and you have to walk. They make the
12:51
Speaker 1: kids walk, and it's hot, and so every if I
12:54
Speaker 1: said at once said thousand not drink water, Go drink water.
12:57
Speaker 1: Go drink water, because you're walking. It's one hundred degrees August.
13:00
Speaker 1: I mean, this tournament started on August third, and in
13:03
Speaker 1: Pinehurst it's humid. And I said, look, dude, the kids
13:06
Speaker 1: that aren't used to this weather and you're used to
13:08
Speaker 1: it because you're in the hot South. It's a huge advantage.
13:12
Speaker 1: And so he's walking ahead and Grace walked over and
13:15
Speaker 1: he's like, dude, he's like, you mess read that putt
13:17
Speaker 1: like it would it went right to left. I looked
13:19
Speaker 1: and I was like, I like, if you want a caddy,
13:22
Speaker 1: I will happily give you the bag. He's like, I
13:24
Speaker 1: can't handle the stress of this. And we both started
13:26
Speaker 1: dying laughing, and he said, he goes, Ben, he goes,
13:29
Speaker 1: I'm a pro gofer. I have played it in the
13:31
Speaker 1: biggest tournaments at pebble whatever he is, I've never been
13:35
Speaker 1: this stressed out of my life. I was like, try
13:37
Speaker 1: being me, the dad with a bag, and we just
13:39
Speaker 1: died laughing, and he put his arm around and we
13:41
Speaker 1: walked for I don't know, fifty feet together laughing. He's like, dude,
13:44
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to call my parents after this round
13:46
Speaker 1: and tell them I'm so sorry and take them to dinner.
13:48
Speaker 1: He's I had no idea what it was like to
13:49
Speaker 1: be a parent watching someone you love or young like play.
13:58
Speaker 1: And I was like, yeah, you should define only take
14:00
Speaker 1: them to dinner tonight. And we laughed and he was
14:03
Speaker 1: like on pins and needles a whole round. It got
14:05
Speaker 1: over and and everybody turned their scores in and we
14:08
Speaker 1: found out that my son was solo lead. He was
14:13
Speaker 1: in it shot the lowest round the day was three under,
14:16
Speaker 1: and we went to lunch, and we went to lunch
14:19
Speaker 1: over at Pinehurst, the main course where the US Open
14:21
Speaker 1: is this year, and he was not leaving. He was
14:25
Speaker 1: staying the whole day. He was all in to support
14:28
Speaker 1: him and to celebrate him. And after we saw that
14:31
Speaker 1: he was number you know, he's in the lead, number one,
14:33
Speaker 1: he celebrated him like he was like he had just won.
14:37
Speaker 1: It was round one of the tournament, but he celebrated
14:39
Speaker 1: him like he was like it was the Masters leading
14:41
Speaker 1: at the Masters. I mean, it was a big thing
14:44
Speaker 1: to celebrate. And we ate lunch together and then we
14:46
Speaker 1: went and played the Cradle. It's a par three course,
14:50
Speaker 1: and he played with us and it was Bradley told
14:54
Speaker 1: me that Night's Dead is the best birthday of my life.
14:56
Speaker 1: He said, Grayson was here and I'm leading the tournament
14:59
Speaker 1: and y'all are here, and like, what a day. And
15:02
Speaker 1: I will eternally be thankful for that. Because even as
15:07
Speaker 1: he was struggling with anxiety, depression, alcoholism, even as he
15:11
Speaker 1: had been to rehab not once but twice and was
15:15
Speaker 1: fighting his demons, and he was very open about it,
15:20
Speaker 1: he still was so kind to others, and he made
15:27
Speaker 1: my son's dream feel like it was a reality, and
15:33
Speaker 1: he'll never there's two kinds of I think there's confidence
15:39
Speaker 1: and there's arrogance, and there's ignorance with dreams. My son
15:44
Speaker 1: feels confident that he can become a pro golfer because
15:50
Speaker 1: of his friendship with Grayson. He has no doubt he
15:55
Speaker 1: can do this if he works hard. That is a
15:58
Speaker 1: gift that he will take with him of his life
16:01
Speaker 1: because it seems obtainable, because it seems real. Well, take
16:05
Speaker 1: a break, we'll come back and I'll continue the conversation
16:10
Speaker 1: of the takeaway from all of this, and it's about
16:14
Speaker 1: taking care of other people. Check on your friends, check
16:17
Speaker 1: on your loved ones, tell them you love them. The
16:21
Speaker 1: story that I just told about my son was about
16:26
Speaker 1: the man that Grayson was and then he was fighting
16:30
Speaker 1: constantly to be He was someone who was loving, He
16:36
Speaker 1: was someone who was caring. Several years ago before he
16:40
Speaker 1: had money, he saw someone that had lost their car
16:45
Speaker 1: and needed a car and was struggling. Didn't know the person.
16:48
Speaker 1: It was a story that was I think it was
16:49
Speaker 1: on the line he saw on Twitter somewhere and he
16:54
Speaker 1: contacted them and said I want to buy you a
16:57
Speaker 1: car now full disclosure. Was like, dude, you don't have
17:00
Speaker 1: that much money, Like, what are you doing buying someone
17:01
Speaker 1: else a car? Man, He's like, dude, I can get
17:04
Speaker 1: to work. They can't. He didn't publicize it, it wasn't covered.
17:09
Speaker 1: It wasn't a publicity thing or a publicity stunt. It
17:13
Speaker 1: was it was a genuine heartfelt moment. There's certain people
17:22
Speaker 1: I say, you can always, you know, kind of figure
17:25
Speaker 1: out who your friends are, who your real friends are,
17:28
Speaker 1: by a couple of different things. One if you called
17:30
Speaker 1: somebody and said hey, I'm in deep trouble I need
17:33
Speaker 1: to borrow some money and they just say yeah, and
17:35
Speaker 1: they say you don't need to borrow it, you can
17:36
Speaker 1: have it, don't worry about it. I got your back.
17:42
Speaker 1: That's a friend. That's grace. And I could have called
17:45
Speaker 1: him and no questions asked. Said Hey, I'm in trouble.
17:49
Speaker 1: I need to borrow five grand. He said yeah, sure,
17:51
Speaker 1: Like I'll vemote to you. How do you want me
17:52
Speaker 1: to get to you? There would have been no questions asked.
17:56
Speaker 1: I have no doubt if I called him and he
17:58
Speaker 1: was in a tournament and I was like I need
18:00
Speaker 1: my friend. I'm having a horrible day, Like I need
18:02
Speaker 1: you to come down here, whatever it is. I have
18:04
Speaker 1: no doubt he would have said, okay, yeah, I'm all in.
18:08
Speaker 1: And I think he knew that was who I was
18:12
Speaker 1: as well. I took many and I want to I
18:17
Speaker 1: want to talk about this because I want people to
18:19
Speaker 1: be helped as well. If you have friends that deal
18:24
Speaker 1: with anxiety or depression or alcoholism, number one part of
18:28
Speaker 1: it is telling them that they're dealing with it and
18:32
Speaker 1: you see it. And I'm talking about alcoholism especially. There's
18:35
Speaker 1: too many people that have friends of alcoholics and they
18:37
Speaker 1: just they go drink with them and they just say, oh, well, yeah,
18:40
Speaker 1: he drinks too much sometimes, or she drinks too much sometimes. Like,
18:44
Speaker 1: if you have friends that are dealing with it, don't
18:51
Speaker 1: enable it. I remember the first time I told Grace
18:56
Speaker 1: he was an alcoholic. It was at my house and
19:00
Speaker 1: I didn't and he knew this. I said, dude, I
19:02
Speaker 1: don't care if you had a golf all the rest
19:04
Speaker 1: again in your life, Like, as long as you're happy
19:06
Speaker 1: and safe and you're okay. He was at my house
19:09
Speaker 1: and he had had too much to drink two days
19:13
Speaker 1: in a row, and I could tell it was his routine.
19:16
Speaker 1: And he came downstairs the next day and I have
19:20
Speaker 1: small kids, and I told him. I was like, I
19:23
Speaker 1: don't want my kids to see this. Number one okay,
19:27
Speaker 1: and number two. I said, I love you, brother. I said,
19:28
Speaker 1: but you need to know this. You're an alcoholic. And
19:31
Speaker 1: he was like no. I just relaxed him before the
19:33
Speaker 1: termament a couple of days off, didn't have to play.
19:35
Speaker 1: And I looked at it. I was like, buddy, I love
19:37
Speaker 1: you. You're an alcoholic. You're an alcoholic. And the sooner you
19:41
Speaker 1: figure that out, and the sooner we get you to
19:44
Speaker 1: a point of being sober, the better off. And he
19:47
Speaker 1: didn't want to accept it yet. He wasn't ready and
19:49
Speaker 1: that's part of dealing with people that are alcoholics. And
19:53
Speaker 1: fast forward months later, he called me at four in
19:55
Speaker 1: the morning crying and he said I'm an alcoholic and
19:57
Speaker 1: I said, yeah, like tell me something I don't no,
20:02
Speaker 1: And he said, I'm going to go get help. And
20:04
Speaker 1: there was an incident that had happened at a hotel
20:07
Speaker 1: and I think it was public enough that it was like,
20:10
Speaker 1: I have to deal with this now. And he went
20:13
Speaker 1: to rehab and it didn't stick the first time, and
20:15
Speaker 1: he ended up going back again. And that was a
20:19
Speaker 1: changing moment in our relationship where it was like, Okay,
20:22
Speaker 1: you're admitting it. I'm all in for you. I am
20:25
Speaker 1: going to help you through this. I'm going to love
20:27
Speaker 1: you through this, I'm going to support you through it.
20:29
Speaker 1: I'm going to check on you through this. And then
20:32
Speaker 1: he started opening up about his anxiety and depression. I
20:35
Speaker 1: knew he dealt with it before, but we hadn't had
20:37
Speaker 1: those conversations, and then I had a reason to pry
20:41
Speaker 1: and a reason to call him bick. You know, no
20:43
Speaker 1: bs with us, buddy, Like I'm calling you and I
20:45
Speaker 1: ask you how you're doing. I don't need that, I'm
20:47
Speaker 1: good man, how are you? I want to know, actually,
20:49
Speaker 1: how you're doing. We'd had conversations about suicide, and I
20:57
Speaker 1: talked to him very clearly and openly about me losing
21:01
Speaker 1: my best friend from college to suicide. And I told Myselfody,
21:06
Speaker 1: I cannot bury another friend that way. I just can't
21:09
Speaker 1: do it. And I need to know that. You know
21:13
Speaker 1: that you need to call me or whoever. I don't
21:16
Speaker 1: care when you have those thoughts, because you deal with depression,
21:20
Speaker 1: anxiety and part of us being honest with each other
21:23
Speaker 1: is knowing that, like, I need you to call, and
21:24
Speaker 1: he had called me several times when he was in
21:29
Speaker 1: the pits of it. And I am devastated that I
21:35
Speaker 1: lost my friend. I'm devastated that my son lost someone
21:43
Speaker 1: that he looked up to and was so proud of.
21:46
Speaker 1: I am devastated that his family have lost their son.
21:49
Speaker 1: And his family are incredible people, and he had a
21:52
Speaker 1: brother and a sister and nieces, nephews, and they're going
21:57
Speaker 1: to be sad, and I I'm devastated for all of them.
22:01
Speaker 1: But I hope that there's somebody listening right now that
22:05
Speaker 1: may be dealing with one of these things, and you
22:07
Speaker 1: will be encouraged or inspired to go get the support
22:12
Speaker 1: and the help that you need. Because I'm taking this
22:15
Speaker 1: moment to talk about it. The world is a mean place.
22:22
Speaker 1: Be kind to others. Please. He got off Twitter because
22:28
Speaker 1: people had become so mean on Twitter, and I was like,
22:32
Speaker 1: you don't need to be on there, man, Like you
22:34
Speaker 1: stay up late and you read it. Get off of there. Now.
22:37
Speaker 1: There's an encouraging to get off there, and he had.
22:39
Speaker 1: He was off and he was on Instagram, but Instagram's
22:41
Speaker 1: a little bit different than Twitter. Twitter's just more mean
22:44
Speaker 1: people tweeting nasty things at you and you see them.
22:47
Speaker 1: Instagram's more people's pictures, and he had stayed on there,
22:54
Speaker 1: but several times he'd gotten off Instagram. I'm going to
22:56
Speaker 1: take a break from this for a while, just to
22:58
Speaker 1: get away from it all. I want to make sure
23:04
Speaker 1: I say this as I wrap this, because this is
23:06
Speaker 1: not a normal show that I do. But the suicide
23:10
Speaker 1: and Crisis hotline is nine eight eight. You just dial that,
23:16
Speaker 1: whether it's English or Spanish. It's twenty four hours a day.
23:19
Speaker 1: You can also text to nine eight eight for help.
23:25
Speaker 1: If you know someone that's battling addiction or alcoholism, be
23:30
Speaker 1: honest with him, don't enable it, don't go drinking with
23:35
Speaker 1: your buddy that is dealing with it. Because I can
23:37
Speaker 1: tell you over the last several months, the last eight
23:41
Speaker 1: nine months really about the year, there was a major
23:44
Speaker 1: transformation in Grayson's life and he was fighting and winning
23:50
Speaker 1: and he was doing so well. It doesn't mean you
23:52
Speaker 1: can't go back into it, but a core of that
23:57
Speaker 1: was him being sober and his life was better because
24:01
Speaker 1: of it. The second thing I'll say is talk to
24:05
Speaker 1: people about their faith. I had a a great ability
24:14
Speaker 1: to talk honestly and open. I think it's part of
24:16
Speaker 1: what I do for a living with people about things
24:18
Speaker 1: and get real quickly. Grays and I had very clear
24:24
Speaker 1: conversations about what it meant to be a Christian. And
24:28
Speaker 1: I have no doubt he was a believer. I have
24:31
Speaker 1: no doubt that he is in heaven. I have no idea,
24:34
Speaker 1: no doubt that Jesus was personal Lord and savior. And
24:37
Speaker 1: he was. He'd asked him to come into his heart
24:39
Speaker 1: to save him. Recently we'd started reading the same Christian
24:43
Speaker 1: book together and talking about it, and and he was.
24:46
Speaker 1: He was his faith when he won. If you if
24:49
Speaker 1: you haven't go look at the video. It's on the
24:51
Speaker 1: internet and I've posted on mine. I'm sure it's there
24:54
Speaker 1: if you scroll. He had He had talked about his
24:58
Speaker 1: faith when he won that tournament earlier this year and
25:02
Speaker 1: the Sony Open, and it was he talked about like
25:05
Speaker 1: golf doesn't define me. And that's when he played his
25:08
Speaker 1: best golf when it wasn't him being a golfer. He
25:11
Speaker 1: was a man of God who was fighting it, his
25:16
Speaker 1: addiction issues, his anxiety and depression, and he was a
25:23
Speaker 1: better man than I've ever seen him over the last year,
25:28
Speaker 1: and I'm so sad that he is no longer here.
25:31
Speaker 1: I know he's no longer in pain. But check on
25:36
Speaker 1: your friends and have compassion and understanding, and just tell
25:41
Speaker 1: them you love them and you support them. But don't
25:44
Speaker 1: enable their addictions, please don't. I have friends who drink
25:51
Speaker 1: too much and I tell him it, and it can
25:53
Speaker 1: be awkward, but they now know him on their team
25:56
Speaker 1: because the way I tell him is I want you
25:57
Speaker 1: to have a better life. Check on your people and
26:02
Speaker 1: love them. I will say this finally that I miss you, buddy.
26:07
Speaker 1: I love you. We will never forget you. I will
26:11
Speaker 1: make sure people never forget your legacy and and and
26:15
Speaker 1: and what a good heart you had, and thank you
26:21
Speaker 1: for being in my life. We will lay him to
26:25
Speaker 1: rest this week, and I love you. And I hope
26:31
Speaker 1: that this show can be shared with someone that needs
26:35
Speaker 1: to hear it and it will inspire someone to have
26:39
Speaker 1: that those tough and hard conversations