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The Misconceptions of Aging · Spinning the Light Podcast

0:06
Hello, and welcome to two girls in a pod.
0:09
I'm Sharon, I'm Christy. I hope you guys are all doing.
0:13
Well I should say we hope you are because I can Christy has
0:16
the same, hope whom we want to make sure everybody's doing
0:20
great and you know, and uh very grateful for our little sunny
0:24
day today yesterday where a whopping 20 degrees or something
0:29
that was just It's not working for us.
0:31
Yeah, that's why I'm really happy to hear.
0:33
Highs like 43 or something today.
0:36
He went. Hey, for us, that means hiking
0:38
weather. Yeah, so hopefully it stays that
0:42
much, you know, got warm for the weekend so we can at least get a
0:45
hike in, you know, it's to know. Wonderful.
0:49
But you know, Colorado whether I guess, I, you know, everybody
0:52
says, you know, it's Illinois, weather is Colorado.
0:55
I think weather is just whether everywhere decides to do what it
0:57
wants to do. Anyway, I see I digress today.
1:02
Look that's not the weather is not the topic of today's
1:06
podcast, but you know, one of the things that we have talked
1:11
about in the past, you know, with each other and, you know,
1:14
it's a constant conversation with this is aging and I have
1:20
this with my clients. A lot of times, we run into a
1:23
hiccup in therapy, when they hit certain ages, 30, 40, 50, 60,
1:28
whatever, that is whatever, Age they in their mind have
1:32
perceived as I'm old, you know. Yeah.
1:36
I have people have course especially when it comes close
1:39
to their birthdays, which I just had one last month.
1:43
So but I think that people give a lot of focus to that and that
1:48
kind of does play into the weather part.
1:50
How many times do you hear people say?
1:51
It's going to do something. Mice opt-ins flaring up.
1:56
And that's the part of aging, I see.
1:59
Always takes me to that episode of The Golden Girls Where
2:03
Sophia, there's a hurricane coming, then they're not
2:05
reporting a hurricane. There's a hurricane coming
2:08
because her friend her number, her friend's name, but her knees
2:13
were doing this, or her arthritis was acting up.
2:18
So I think you do hear that, then I hear from my clients.
2:21
Oh yeah, it's getting cold. I can feel in my joint.
2:25
You know, my knee, that was injured or my shoulder.
2:28
And I think that there is some truth to that, you know, I mean,
2:31
I do think that there is some truth to, you know, whenever we
2:34
have an injury, you know, the weather does affect it, but I
2:36
think that could be at any age. I don't think you have to be old
2:39
to make that happen. Exactly.
2:41
I think that past injuries and things like that.
2:44
Can I'm sure cold weather, does it impact that a little bit but
2:48
I don't think it has anything really always to do with aging
2:51
but we do we have some preconceived ideas about what
2:55
aging is and what that looks like.
2:57
And people really get caught up in that I think and really
3:02
identify with some of those ideas and you can really get
3:05
yourself into a funk over it. You can.
3:09
And I think the thing that's really interesting is where of
3:12
time, I always wonder. Where does this idea of what's
3:14
appropriate ages? And I always find it.
3:17
Who's this imaginary people out there or whatever system
3:21
whatever you want to call it, that is dictating our eyes and
3:24
that we buy you to us and I mean we know we buy each other
3:28
because there's 900 products out there.
3:30
Oh, for sure. I mean definitely marketing is
3:32
geared towards those kinds of things.
3:34
I mean, yes, it's wonderful. You know, the things that you
3:37
can do to continue to feel youthful and things like that.
3:42
I think there are a lot of things that you can do whether
3:45
it be diet, whether it be exercised, whether it be Making
3:48
yourself feel, good through your appearance and, and there's a
3:52
lot of pressure on those kinds of things.
3:53
You've talked about that with the appropriateness of how one
3:58
dresses, at a certain age, well, you know, you just set it there,
4:01
you know, you use products or whatever to feel youthful, but
4:04
they're not called you feel youthful products, or called
4:06
anti aging or age-defying, you know, even listen to the
4:10
verbiage of that, it's age-defying, if you get that
4:14
wrinkle, but this on and by golly, you're gonna be wrinkle
4:17
free, I guess. Guess I don't know.
4:19
Yeah, yes it's like a magic potion.
4:21
There's all those products out there that are for retinol and
4:25
all these things to make your wrinkles appear last, then you
4:29
have to have collagen halogens, a big thing.
4:31
Now, y'all everybody had been part of college and somewhere
4:35
that plump things up, well dot dot but up and, you know, you
4:38
talked about dress. And that's another thing that I
4:40
think is really interesting because and it's more.
4:42
So I think with women than men. So if you go into the men's
4:45
section of, I guess old people close.
4:47
I don't How do you think? They have old people got sick?
4:50
I don't know, have a shop demands recive late, this is it.
4:53
But with women, you know, you start seeing it.
4:56
You know, you start seeing it with people who even we do with
4:59
way, we do with age, you know you see this whole shift, you
5:03
know, if you're heavier they're going to put the big old flower
5:05
that goes right in the middle of you because that's flat or tons
5:09
of flowers all over it. I used to get all frustrated
5:12
with that because I would look at the different departments and
5:16
go. What is that?
5:17
About. I mean, why do you think that
5:21
the people would want to dress look?
5:23
I don't know really like I don't think that really improves
5:25
anybody self-esteem but I think it's the same thing with you.
5:28
When you get older women, all son have to go to those old
5:32
women pass. What are they made of polyester
5:36
or things like that? Well, they're like it didn't
5:39
feel comfortable when I was younger.
5:40
Why is polyester going to feel comfortable when I'm older?
5:43
I don't understand. Not selected for this, a quarter
5:45
roid. I was gonna say that's making a
5:46
comeback with the you And I think that was also used back
5:50
then to sold polyester you're right.
5:53
That's the old people band City but you don't have to act like
5:58
I'm sorry but then so now not only are we going to make you
6:03
believe that when he hit a certain age and once again these
6:06
are these fictional people or entities out here that we don't
6:10
even know that we are vetting dictate so think about that.
6:13
Who make these rules who decided when something when you get as a
6:17
woman. When you hit 50, you got to
6:18
start dressing this way or 60, or 70, whatever it is and then
6:23
women by you to it and they go stop shopping in the old people
6:26
clothes. I'm using that uh no offense to
6:29
people who like to do that. Yay, you rock that polyester but
6:34
not Tris. Are you comfortable?
6:36
But I think that's what it really should come down to is
6:38
what do you like not? It's not about what the the
6:42
market trends are but that he know they're trying to make a
6:44
buck and they're definitely going to play on.
6:47
Those ideas that people have accepted about themselves, but
6:51
how many times have you even heard if you see a woman who's
6:55
older? And she stressed more youthful
6:57
all the time. I always think back to and high
7:00
school on my world history teacher.
7:02
She was, I don't know, like back then.
7:05
I guess she was probably in her late 60's.
7:10
I guess, maybe mid 60's source and she was still teaching that
7:14
he deserves a medal, but she would always wear These dresses
7:18
there or skirts that you know, I mean they like came to the knee,
7:23
they would kind of flare out, she'd wear heels and just she
7:27
always looked actually really nice well put together just
7:31
really and I always got the feeling that a lot of the other
7:35
teachers looked at her as though she was kind of flirty or I
7:40
don't know what they thought, but she didn't.
7:43
I don't know. I thought that she just carrying
7:45
herself with a sophistication and I That she really liked the
7:49
way that she dressed and I mean, I don't know what was wrong with
7:52
that but I got the feeling that a lot of people thought that she
7:55
just did not address her age. But how many times as you're
7:58
sitting there thinking that you've heard statements like
8:00
that? And I think he that I will say
8:03
this. I have not really heard that as
8:04
much about man, you know, but I have heard a lot of statements
8:09
about women. Well, why she dressed like that.
8:13
What does she think she is in her 30s?
8:16
Or who was she trying to? I mean, it's all those things
8:19
that come into play with that, you know, can I have a client
8:22
and she just turned 50, it was hard for her, okay.
8:26
It was a lot hard for it, so those of you.
8:29
So that's but everything else on pause that were working off
8:31
looking to you because now we have to address.
8:33
Wait, you're I'm say age, but how many times in therapy?
8:36
Even we have to pause. What's some type of therapy?
8:39
We're on a roll with therapy but a birthday is coming and then
8:42
it's like, oh my gosh. Now we have to search stop
8:46
address this because Messing with their heads.
8:48
So somehow they it's like they think when they reach this age
8:52
that something automatically changes and helping them to
8:56
understand. Nothing's changing only thing.
8:58
That's changing is your thought process about, who your sink?
9:01
You're supposed to be because some fees member these imaginary
9:04
people over here are telling your supposed to be and she
9:08
said, but I want to still dress the way I dress.
9:10
Well, girl, dress the way you want to dress exactly.
9:13
Once again, we put on this pressure, then we wonder why
9:17
people. Maybe don't age as gracefully as
9:19
they possibly could, because we're so busy worried about what
9:22
we're wearing, you know, you're getting old for your, you know,
9:25
your hips are filling out, this is sagging, that's egg in it.
9:29
It's like good Lord. I'm so, I feel like we're this
9:32
piece of putty or something and it is it as we seek to just kind
9:36
of keep going down, Alvin more feet than to a pile, but you
9:46
said that visual that Yeah, but that's what I mean.
9:50
We let imaginary arbitrary made up, crap, dictate to us.
9:59
And at some point, I think we're all guilty of it at some point
10:01
till we get older and wiser, I guess.
10:03
See you have to get old to get wise but if you get old then
10:06
you've you're all wrinkled up and auto shriveled up, bro.
10:09
Look at the better than it used up but that's that is an idea
10:15
that people really, you know, starting Art to accept about
10:18
themselves and I mean, like, I have a family member that just
10:23
is turning 40 this month and he was all upset about it and said,
10:27
I'm going to go get me a cake and he did the said, rest in
10:31
peace, I was slick. It's just so crazy to me that
10:35
people have these Concepts that that are there.
10:39
So identified with that, they feel like that they can't do or
10:43
that. I think a lot of people, they
10:45
stop doing things that they love.
10:47
Because they have this idea that because of age, they're not
10:51
supposed to do those things anymore.
10:54
And I was think to myself, you know, any time that you can
10:56
celebrate a new decade, man. You've heard to and something
10:59
right. You really are, you know, but
11:02
it's all I did was sit there and say we don't pick, you know, 27,
11:06
37, 47. We don't do that.
11:08
We picked, he said, 2121 is a magical number, you know, Ian 21
11:15
was a magical number for me. I just wanted to stay Right
11:18
there. I thought that was great.
11:20
Yeah. Do they she got older and
11:22
started realizing. They were great experiences as
11:24
well. Exactly, I think we do we kind
11:26
of thought we'd buy into these things you know?
11:28
I mean and I think the thing is is you know and like I said we
11:32
can laugh about it and stuff. I really do have gratitude for
11:35
aging I really do. I feel like really the older we
11:39
do get the more knowledge we have the more we experience the
11:42
world and there's so many blessings in getting older if we
11:46
allow and we don't buy into These imaginary people over here
11:50
that are making up some stupid rules.
11:52
You know? And I think that chain how do we
11:55
shift that mindset because people do want to age gracefully
11:59
people want to age healthy so you know you have more own
12:02
folder people who are getting you know silver sneakers man,
12:06
honey, no SilverSneakers West. Yeah what's up apparently that's
12:11
an organization that helps or people get together.
12:15
Do things be healthy. You know your oh joy.
12:17
The gym, this part of gym membership for older people,
12:20
which I think is great because it's given people in motion.
12:23
Like we talked last week. Yeah.
12:25
That thing of keeping in motion and you know, anything that's
12:28
going to promote motion, I think is really important to this
12:31
aging process that we have, you know, and that healthy lifestyle
12:34
that we do. Definitely, I think that, you
12:36
know, as long as we keep that mindset that we can, that we
12:40
are, able that we will continue to do the things that we love to
12:43
do is going to give us that longevity and I think that's
12:48
much more positive way of looking at things, instead of
12:50
being, you know, all gloom and doom that you're having another
12:53
birthday. Well, and I think it's because
12:55
we once again, I think and I don't know, I don't think it's
12:57
everywhere, but I know in the United States, we promote thing,
12:59
you know, as you get older, you once again, start falling apart
13:03
and those kind of things. So, if that's what your
13:05
perception is, as I go out, who wants to get old, if you just
13:07
kind of fall apart, if this is going to Creak and that's going
13:09
to Creak and WAP and all the other stuff that it does, then
13:13
that also puts this mental picture in your head, but you
13:17
know what? It's funny to me, is when you go
13:18
look at other cultures, you know, when we look at Japan
13:21
Okinawa and that will take those two, for example, their long,
13:25
their age, their longevity, they have, but they also value
13:28
different things. I think that they do value the
13:32
elderly differently than and look at it differently than we
13:35
do. And I think that we do need to,
13:38
you know, adopt some of those ideas because I feel like that
13:41
we shouldn't be viewing, older people as you know, not useful
13:46
anymore. I That's it doesn't make sense
13:49
why we do that? I mean there's a lot of
13:51
experience you know that these people have and just encouraging
13:56
people to keep going and be everything that they want to be
14:01
is going to contribute to the community as a whole in a
14:04
positive way. I agree.
14:05
And I think it's seeing value in all those age groups.
14:08
Yeah, because you're aware of things.
14:09
I love, when I work with younger people, oh, just got to get rid
14:12
of all those old ideas and all those old people and they're
14:15
like, y'all don't understand that.
14:17
The reason you You have the idea you do is because the old person
14:19
who came before you, and that's what I need.
14:22
And I understand if you feel like, as you age, you're going
14:25
to become obsolete, that you have no value, then who would
14:30
want that? That would be a scary Prospect,
14:33
you know, anyone. I think that's what people don't
14:35
realize, is that in accepting all of this, this Society
14:39
perpetuates in our our mind, these ideas about that.
14:43
I think that a lot of times those become self-fulfilling
14:46
prophecies base. Clay when you're, you know, you
14:49
accept that about yourself and think.
14:51
Well I'm too old to try this or do that or whatever it had just
14:55
seen an article. Not even that long ago about a
14:58
woman that was like 90-something and she had written some music.
15:03
Something and was I mean it was like this really big deal.
15:07
She had won some kind of prize for it and all this and didn't
15:10
happen till she is 97 years old and I'm thinking, you know, to
15:13
that 90 some years to be inspired with, hey, it Happened.
15:18
You know. So I thought that was pretty
15:20
cool. Let's see cage.
15:21
You know, there's so many times that people just think I'm too
15:24
old to do something, and I think that's the thing, too.
15:28
And so think about all the opportunities missed because
15:32
when we have the mindset, once again of these imaginary, people
15:35
who make up this crap and if you're one of the imaginary
15:38
people hearing, it's crap. This is one.
15:41
I will stand for a month. When we sit there, we tell
15:43
people when you get to this age, this is what's going to happen
15:46
to you. Now, this age in this, a Nobody
15:48
knows that the only we have more control of that, you know, even
15:52
also know that, you know, we're looking at genetics in our DNA
15:55
that we have the ability to change some of that through the
15:57
way we eat the way we live, our lifestyle.
16:01
What are we doing to enhance our life in those modes?
16:06
I always loved this because we have a French, he's older than
16:09
us, we won't say her page, but that woman's always on the go.
16:14
Yeah, I freaking admire that about her five.
16:17
I was gonna say the same thing, I agree she is really seeing
16:21
bodies that whole thing of just keep going like a j is just a
16:25
number. I mean she does say about how
16:28
old she the denim but you can tell through her behave.
16:31
Know her behaviors is such that she still goes out with friends
16:35
and has a good time. Like every weekend, pretty much
16:39
all. I'm not gonna she could put a 21
16:41
year old to shame. Yeah, you know she was in
16:44
Arizona now she's getting ready to go to Cabo and I I love that
16:48
about, I love that energy about her.
16:50
She is not going to go and sit on the sidelines and let life
16:53
happen and that's what happens when people start to get older
16:57
in our society when we listen to those imaginary people or
17:00
whatever that you start to sit on the sidelines, but you're
17:03
sitting not on the sidelines. Just to everything around you.
17:07
Your sidelining yourself for your own life, for your own
17:09
experiences. That's Insanity to me.
17:12
I just don't get it. It's not for Philly.
17:15
No, I'll always encouraging. And you know, my clients your
17:19
our friendships and all that be active go out do stuff.
17:22
What are the reasons? We love hanging out with Kathy G
17:25
allies because you know, vacations with her is we're
17:28
going to do some type of hiking or something in nature.
17:32
I love that about her. You know, she skis that she
17:34
takes a biking in her how she did mountain biking.
17:36
That one was crazy because I fucking, and then she just did
17:41
scuba died and she didn't even take out mountain biking until
17:44
when I mean, two or three years. What did the Actual more
17:48
extreme, you know? I mean, she's done biking in
17:50
that. But, you know, I mean, she's
17:52
just cinch got together with a group of women.
17:54
She joined a women's group that doesn't.
17:56
Now she creates this new network for her that she did the scuba
18:00
diving, all those different things.
18:03
And I love that and I love that philosophy that she has two of,
18:06
you know, she takes those chances.
18:08
She wants to experience things once again, scuba diving is not
18:11
for us, we were still undecided about store kaleem even, but
18:14
we're willing to give it one more try, maybe possibly.
18:17
But there are other thing, you know, we love concerts, you
18:21
know, we love travel. You know, we did love the
18:23
outdoors, hiking stuff like that.
18:25
I don't want sweetie sit there and say, oh, when you reach this
18:28
age, all that stops. Exactly.
18:30
I don't plan on stopping any of that.
18:31
In other mean, the keep going, as long as we can.
18:35
I re I was reading. This article is really funny
18:37
because I ask this, he was Japanese or could now.
18:40
And I don't know which one, but he was like, 90 years old and
18:43
King still a physician and doing his practice.
18:47
And they were talking to him about that and one of the things
18:49
he said he goes, I always take the stairs even at 90, whatever
18:55
years old, he still taken the, how many flights of stairs up to
18:59
his office? Staying active, he kept in
19:01
motion. Well, we keep our body in
19:03
motion, our mind in motion and all that, we create one Javits e
19:07
and of course, the younger, you can start better off.
19:10
You are when you can, you know, have that physical activity.
19:14
And and that how many times they are.
19:17
Are trying to keeping that longevity through motion.
19:22
And also, you know, just the things that you eat and that a
19:26
lot of times people, out of convenience will eat things that
19:31
are are easy to just throw in the microwave or things like
19:35
that. But they are finding that the
19:38
more processed foods that we're eating, that's really having an
19:41
impact on our health and so's even starting their like if you
19:46
can cut out some of the Processed foods.
19:48
I think that that would be something that will help you in
19:51
the long run. And I think it's all of those
19:53
changing of ideas and, you know, they're not easy to change.
19:56
I don't think, you know, I mean we we've talked about this.
19:59
How long have you been working on this?
20:01
But the other thing that we did that I think was really
20:03
important. Not only do, we change the way
20:05
we ate, we really did add motion into our lifestyle and you all
20:11
we look at research. People say, you got to work out
20:13
more, you got to eat, right? You got to do all this stuff,
20:15
but it was really interesting because Cathy do did post an
20:19
article and it was about longevity, you know, and it's
20:21
about how what we do to have those longer lifespans.
20:26
And, you know, they talk about people, get out, they start
20:29
working out more, they start doing all of that kind of stuff,
20:32
all of the stuff that they do, but the one thing this article
20:34
talks about he is that is really helping with longevity, is our
20:38
relationship is strengthening our relationships.
20:40
It's called Social Fitness and I often think about that, you
20:44
know, because we you know, now we have an age.
20:47
Electronics. Where we have this young group
20:51
coming up and a lot of them only have relationships on social
20:58
media, it's not physical, you know what I mean?
21:01
But that Social Fitness really is very influential for our
21:05
brain. That makes sense because even
21:08
like you were saying about the silver sneakers group earlier,
21:13
when you confined a group of people that you guys all All
21:17
enjoy doing something physical, you know, like like you said
21:21
about Kathy joining the biking group and things like that, I
21:24
mean, that makes sense. You're building those
21:26
relationships through those processes as well, and that's
21:30
healthy for the mind. And that is what helps keep
21:33
people youthful. Well, we didn't talked about
21:35
that because we have really worked on strengthening our
21:38
relationship and how we even say that, it makes you feel
21:41
different, there's a shifting and I don't think you can sit
21:44
there and pinpoint that shift, but you can feel that.
21:47
Gift yes. Definitely I know that even like
21:50
because my mom she was living alone for a long period of time
21:55
and she you know, wasn't having a lot of people come visit or
21:58
anything like that. And so she was I think, really
22:01
it was starting to work on her mentally and now she's been in a
22:06
rehabilitation center and she's been doing really good with
22:10
that. And I think part of that is the
22:11
socialization that she has there, I mean, she gets involved
22:15
in some of the stuff that they do and And you know projects
22:18
that they work on. And she I think it has really,
22:21
really helped her and I think that's what it is and I thought
22:24
that's what it was some interesting points.
22:25
So that article this was an eight-year plus study of years
22:29
of data for this. And the formula for happy
22:32
health, happiness, hinges on positive relationships.
22:36
If you regularly feel isolated lonely, it can be as dangerous
22:39
as smoking half a pack of cigarettes a day in the thing
22:43
is, is that when you do that, this is about her happiness.
22:47
We now know that people who are happy and, you know, they even
22:50
look at relationships that are long term, you'll find some of
22:53
those were, the marriages are like 60 years.
22:56
You know, my parents were married for sixty seven years.
22:58
I'm 68. There was an underlying
23:00
friendship with that. You could see that friendship,
23:03
you know what I mean? And they were together, they
23:06
talk, they shared stressors together and things like that.
23:10
And I really do think that, that helped contribute to their
23:12
longevity, you know, know, but communication is a key.
23:17
Thing, you know, not just for the relationship, but for the
23:22
mental health, I love this just base this.
23:25
Like unused muscles, neglected relationships, atrophy, and it's
23:31
really interesting because I have been talking with clients.
23:34
There's like this little thing. I swear, I have to feed the
23:36
things that we have our stuff that we'll talk about for our
23:38
podcast, which I think is really fascinating.
23:41
So it's like we're on the right path here.
23:43
But about those relationships because sometimes people are
23:46
trying to Two relationships that have already atrophied and then
23:50
realizing that sometimes, in order to make it better, you go
23:53
find those relationships that there's this Mutual Connection
23:56
in that, you know, you're really striving to improve that because
24:01
those healthy relationship. I know from me we have some
24:05
amazing friendships. We really, really do and our
24:08
friends have become like our family.
24:11
You know, family relationships in one, we talked about
24:13
relationships. We're talking about all kinds of
24:15
relationships from Some familial to friendships even work,
24:20
relationships, you know, if you're going to your job every
24:22
day and there's Stress and Anxiety around the job and stuff
24:27
and, you know, with the people there have that's not a healthy
24:29
relationship. So I cannot tell you how much of
24:32
the time in my practice. I can even have that around work
24:35
in those work relationships and then they're feeling tired.
24:38
They're feeling like their energies deep low, they're just
24:43
feeling out of sorts as you call and, you know, it's not a
24:46
healthy thing. So, The things is, you learn to
24:49
set up parameters or do what you have to do because, you know, we
24:51
still need our jobs with, do we have to be actively
24:53
participating in those things? The answer should know.
24:56
So we're talking about this whole aging process and there's
24:59
so many components to it. Yeah.
25:02
But it's what were led to believe.
25:05
I think that really plays the most because if we were doing
25:10
the things like have, you know, it's not like we're going to go
25:13
promote healthy relationships. You know why?
25:15
Because that doesn't sell a product.
25:16
No. And at the end of the day, we
25:19
live in a society where no offense, but it's about how much
25:22
product. Can you sell?
25:24
Because this study here, this isn't like a short sight, this
25:27
is a longitudinal study that's looking at relationships.
25:31
We now know that people who are happy, people who have that
25:34
physical contact all those things, how it is improving,
25:37
quality of life and Longevity. But we're not seeing that you're
25:42
not going to get that. You're not going to get 0 in
25:44
order to live a few extra years. Find a good friend.
25:48
No, it's if you want to look youthful well-known, sorry
25:51
anti-aging. Get that serum and put it on
25:55
your eyes or, you know, wherever it is that you need to put it,
25:59
you know, it's even like I don't know because when we vacation
26:02
and stuff, we should go to tropical places because we like
26:05
the barn, hey, you're out there in your suits and stuff and
26:08
you'll see older people and you can every once while see those
26:11
people again, like why are you wearing that Weird?
26:15
Al, you know, it's true. I remember when we went to
26:19
Cancun a couple years ago, there were a couple older ladies there
26:23
and they would get out there and their bikinis every day and they
26:27
would be reading their books by the pool and hmm.
26:30
But their suits were so cool. I mean there were these really
26:33
bright colors and everything and I remember we went to them.
26:35
And told them we just love your suits, they look amazing.
26:39
And they were like fakes and you know, it was we had a good
26:41
conversation with them but yeah, I bet you could see others at
26:45
the pool. Yeah.
26:46
But But I thought it was really cool that they had the
26:48
confidence to go do that. Exactly.
26:51
And I think that that's the thing, you know, there's going
26:54
to be that judgment or those people, but once again, they're
26:57
getting their ideas from somebody else.
26:59
Actually, if everybody looked at it as be, who you are at
27:03
whatever age you are, you know, if you feel beautiful, whatever
27:06
age, go for it. And how many times do you hear?
27:09
Oh my God, that woman is aging so beautifully.
27:12
Hello. Yeah, then the other one will
27:15
walks in same age. What are they doing?
27:20
You know and I mean there are people and everybody ages
27:22
differently you know and then we do have those that age
27:24
eloquently you know and you're just sort of like oh my goodness
27:27
that was so much of the time I think we're so worried about
27:30
what someone else will think. If they know my age you know
27:34
what are they think? So it's sad but it will you do
27:38
and I think we really see this in the movie industry because
27:40
how many times our actresses and more so actresses pushed out of
27:45
the movie industry because oh yeah.
27:46
You're too old. Nobody wants to look at old
27:49
ladies. Let's go through George Clooney
27:51
and all those other men in there, you know, and there are
27:54
whatever it is. Salt and pepper hair.
27:57
Yeah. Sometimes it's all just salt
28:00
I've seen that too but but but do you see what I mean?
28:03
We helped perpetuate that each individual who sits there in
28:06
bodies into that crap and makes those comments about those
28:09
people. Oh yeah, she's too old, she
28:11
can't be act. But how many times did I
28:14
remember? Who?
28:14
I was reading an article on and that's what they were saying,
28:16
you know. They really love the industry
28:18
but you know, it's like oh we're going to go out of it.
28:21
But at those funny because I was watching with DC.
28:24
It's been taken over by James Gunn who was part of Marvel and
28:29
did all that. And you know he's gotten or I
28:32
don't know how we're supposed to correctly.
28:33
Say this he said he doesn't get rid of them we're just not we
28:36
didn't fire him because we didn't hire him whatever.
28:39
But one of the things is they want to start with younger
28:42
actors to do this. It I get that but it's like
28:45
sitting there saying you Are good, why you did it but I hear
28:47
Too Old, you know? And I get that.
28:50
And I think there are times when we have to say, you know, I
28:53
can't do this anymore, and I loved when Dave Bautista said
28:56
that about his character Drax he goes, I'm 51 years old.
29:01
I don't want to keep putting on that stuff, you know, and he was
29:04
willing to say, that's leave it to somebody else.
29:06
I did my time, I was good with it, but it did, he didn't sit
29:09
there and say I'm done with acting.
29:12
I'm done with that character, but even acknowledged at 51, I
29:16
don't want put my body through suits you know we do get to that
29:20
place you know but sometimes it's remember young we people
29:22
make decisions of you know I don't want to put my body
29:25
through this you know and I think that that's what it is.
29:28
You know we look at the sports industry.
29:30
When you hit 35 you're out of there 40 you're really over the
29:33
top and it could be regardless if you have the ability to do it
29:37
or not because people are looking at that number.
29:40
Once again, these are all just made up this all just made up
29:42
crap anyway. Once again, this my personally I
29:46
think it's made up stuff but it's made up and then we buy
29:50
into it, you know, once again, we have this thing and I don't
29:53
want to sit there, you know, when it says oh when you turn 40
29:56
this, we put that into our head when somebody sits and says, oh
30:00
yeah, well if 50 this is what happens or 60, this is what
30:02
happened. That pretty soon, that person
30:04
doesn't even have that start tabbing that because our brain
30:08
is very powerful. When he hears messages, it will
30:10
create it, it don't have problem doing that.
30:14
Yeah, but it's not healthy for us either.
30:16
I don't think not, I mean, it really still like that in doing
30:21
that. We really limit ourselves, but
30:24
so many people so much of the time, do we just buy into?
30:28
And it is it's a marketing Ploy, if it is good, like I said,
30:32
we're not sitting there having commercials on, you know, in
30:35
order to have longevity, build up those relationships because
30:39
when you have those relationships that are healthy
30:40
and stuff, it decreases stress, which we know stress affects the
30:44
You know I mean so if we were really working on what's going
30:47
to help us have longevity, it's creating ways to decrease stress
30:53
in our life. It order to have that longevity
30:58
but we're not going to promote that because that is not what's
31:02
going to make money. Exactly, doesn't sell product.
31:05
But we're here to promote that because it is important, it is
31:11
important to the longevity that we have it.
31:14
It is important for us to continue to look at ourselves as
31:21
individuals. And what is it that I can do
31:23
outside of what somebody else's idea of what I am each Age?
31:28
First of all not buying into it because like I said I mean the
31:31
we know that there are different things that we can do like a,
31:35
you know, we've already mentioned, you know, about being
31:38
more active and things like that and those are definitely a even
31:42
if it's just walking in But I mean I made it doesn't even have
31:45
to be a major thing but that in itself will help to build up.
31:51
Not only the body physically but the confidence that goes with
31:56
it, I think exactly. But all I think that's a really
31:59
good point because I think too when people look in the mirror
32:01
and they see if they're sitting there and they're with their
32:04
mind of, oh my God I'm 50 or 60 or whatever it is.
32:08
There's this old person looking back at me.
32:10
That's a mental thing that we create.
32:13
It really is. And that's not to say, you know,
32:16
go do the age-defying things, but don't do them.
32:19
Because the idea is you're not old enough or okay, with who you
32:24
are if you were makeup. It's not because we're not, I'm
32:27
not going to see her. Say don't wear makeup.
32:29
What does like to wear makeup? Every one small get all gussied
32:32
up and look good. Come on now, exactly.
32:35
There's the, you know, you can do those things to make
32:38
yourself, feel good. But, you know, it's not about
32:40
thinking that you are in a, it or Anna's wall.
32:44
No longer valuable but if I were a makeup to fill value, that's
32:49
different. If I were a makeup to just
32:51
enhance what I already have, those two are two very different
32:54
concepts but I think yeah go to the age to find creams or serums
32:59
or I don't know, collagen Botox I don't know.
33:03
There's all sorts of stuff that goes retinol one off of me, you
33:07
know, dye your hair, whatever it is, do all those things.
33:12
If it's about enhancing what you already know is truly wonderful
33:16
and amazing that when you look in that mirror with or without a
33:19
you say, man, I am rocking this life, I am rocking me then it's
33:24
okay because then it's just adding to but if I doing it to
33:29
cover up or to hide or to make myself more valuable to somebody
33:35
else or whatever, then that I think it has this adverse
33:39
effect. Who cares?
33:40
If he look young but you don't feel it.
33:43
Who cares? If Look young, but you die,
33:46
young. Because that mental space, that
33:49
we stand because you didn't do the self-care and things that
33:53
you needed to especially on the mindset itself because that is
33:58
the biggest part of it with anything.
34:00
And I agree. I think that we've really
34:04
created something in our culture and I think it's been really
34:08
detrimental to people and I'm speaking.
34:11
And this part is a therapist, I see it in my practice.
34:14
And I have for years. Remember, I haven't done this
34:16
for a year or two, this is over 20 years of doing this.
34:20
And how I will always come across those people who are
34:23
struggling with that aging process and it's the perception
34:26
of others because when I talk, where did you get that seat
34:29
idea? From what you told, they say,
34:30
who's they? All of the, well, they say, when
34:33
you get home, I want to know who they are.
34:36
Come to the front of the line that is see who you are, because
34:39
you people don't exist. This is, I don't know if this
34:42
is, but whoever creates this is They're selling, you know what I
34:46
mean? So we have to keep that in mind.
34:49
We gotta stop being a byproduct because that's what it feels
34:53
like. Sometimes take that power back
34:56
and you know, be an active participant in our lives and
34:58
realize that we still have power.
35:01
Even as we age, I told Christie. I said, let me tell you this
35:05
right now. Do not, let me become an old
35:07
late, get older. And you start dressing like that
35:10
old lady with, you know, her pants up to her chest wall and
35:13
all All that other crap with those ugly shoes.
35:17
They're not ugly shoes people. I'm just giving all contact
35:19
whatever she's y'all where if you wear them and you wear them.
35:21
Well, go for it, I'm just sick, I'm sorry, I'm a bit of a tennis
35:26
shoe person. Okay, I'm not a heel person,
35:28
none of that, but I love my tennis shoes to match.
35:32
My I love to match my sister thinks I'm weird, but I don't
35:35
care what she thinks. It makes sense.
35:38
Our neighbors like that too. Yes, our neighbor.
35:40
I love that she's older. She is in Vietnam and that Man
35:45
her shoes. She rocks those and I love it.
35:48
He's a big fan of tennis shoes. Oh yeah.
35:52
Bright colors. Oh yeah.
35:53
I go over where there are comparing Dentistry with spit
35:56
and I love that, where's though, she's that a Bright do that
35:59
stuff regardless of your age? And, you know, and like I said,
36:03
I teased you about that while. No, that's not teasing.
36:06
Let's get this gear right now. Just like, I will let and the
36:10
same thing for you, you know, as we age.
36:13
And when we say, See age gracefully, it doesn't mean
36:16
beautifully for others. To age, gracefully means do with
36:21
Grace in you, you know what I mean, and accepting yourself
36:24
where you are and knowing that, you know, you're not used up
36:29
what I remember one day were over at your family's house and
36:33
we're eating with the people we were in your brother was younger
36:36
that day and we had been out playing stuff.
36:38
I don't know what we were doing and he said about me being Older
36:44
than you, but that that because I play and you don't in the same
36:49
way. Now, it's coming back to you.
36:52
What do you think, has an age doesn't matter on that?
36:55
The, you know, some people can remember how to be a kid and
36:58
some people can't and that it's sad in a way.
37:01
But I, I think that I've come a long way and I'm learning.
37:04
Yes. And she, we were talking about
37:06
that Isis. But honey, I'm the play
37:07
therapist. I'm always I play on.
37:09
I can become a six-year-old as fast as anybody because I in it
37:14
all the time and some of these Collision, how do you do that?
37:17
How do you go from a four year old or a five-year-old
37:19
six-year-old, you know, then you're into a teen and then
37:21
you're into somebody in their 40s or whatever.
37:23
And that would be my day. I would just switch back and
37:25
forth all the time. No, wonder I was tired of being
37:29
unfair, like, how hard is it to play?
37:31
I don't understand that. But yeah, he goes to e.m. where
37:35
all the table and he says something because I'm older than
37:37
Christy and he goes about me being older but that I play
37:41
bitters like pie. Like Christy acted older than me
37:46
because you could get in touch with your inner child, but both,
37:49
but I don't think I've lost my kitchen.
37:52
Exactly. And I thought that he is, you
37:54
know, if people could hang on to that, I think that they would
37:57
Age so much more gracefully I've ever seen a meme to.
38:01
Not that long ago that said about aging is a gift that not
38:05
everybody gets to enjoy. Exactly.
38:09
If you're blessed enough to continue on this journey, you
38:12
know, decade to decade. Yep.
38:14
Gratitude for it. Have a sense of wonderment for
38:17
it because it is it's just wonderful Journey that we get to
38:21
be on, you know. And each year each time.
38:25
All of those experiences that we get to have whether there's some
38:29
little trivial thing that doesn't matter to somebody else,
38:32
but it's immensely important to you.
38:34
That's so valuable and there's, you know, realizing even as you
38:38
age, there are so many of those moments to still come,
38:43
absolutely. And I think that's the thing and
38:46
that's why it's important to have little goals, you know, of,
38:48
you know, or those bucket list things.
38:50
I get it, have your bucket list and I'm so grateful on this
38:53
journey that we've been on together.
38:55
We've got to do some stuff on our bucket list.
38:58
We still have. I mean, Arbuckle is says, net is
39:01
endless, you know, because we'll find something new in roseto.
39:04
Got to go do that. Oh, we got to do that.
39:06
I hope everyone's bucket list is endless.
39:08
Just be kind of it always gives you something to, you know,
39:13
strife. For exactly.
39:15
And I think that also having those bucket list, things really
39:18
helps us to be Phil young and stuff like that.
39:22
You know, one thing is is I was thinking that was turned over my
39:24
cousin. They watch, they also watch The
39:27
Golden Girls. What I loved about The Golden
39:29
Girls is they were these women who were older, but we're living
39:34
life. Oh yeah, they were living life.
39:37
They were loving. They were having relationships,
39:40
but the relationship that they develop with each other in
39:44
Series it was that relationship that contributing to that
39:48
longevity for them that caring that nurturing?
39:52
I just think it's this amazing thing and it showed Aging in a
39:57
graceful way I think so too and it showed Beauty in a graceful
40:03
way. Do you know what I mean?
40:05
And so I think that in for anybody out there who is never
40:08
watch The Golden Girls, I can't even imagine and it's
40:11
interesting because that show has such a huge Following in
40:14
Nogales range of Ages and I mean, that show ended back in
40:19
the 90s but there are so many people that enjoy it and I can
40:22
see why. I mean it just touches on so
40:25
many issues and social stuff that was before its time.
40:30
Yeah. And they did it with dignity and
40:33
Grace and humor, right? But I think the biggest humors,
40:37
another thing that I think that we really miss in that to laugh
40:42
and have humor as we age, Is something that fills us up in a
40:47
different way and that's what I love about our relationship
40:50
because sometimes we can laugh at the stupidest things.
40:53
It's sometimes were laughing so hard and she'll tell me that
40:56
making me laugh. And it's such a fun time and I
41:02
love those moments with you. I love that we have quite a few
41:06
of those moments and I think it's important because I think
41:10
that's that contributing factor to that longevity that we have.
41:14
I think humor is a huge deal. A huge component to maintaining
41:19
that youthfulness. Yes.
41:20
Because humor laughing decreases stress, and you know what?
41:25
At the end of the day, we're talking about is, you know,
41:27
really once again, if we're going to promote anything, it's
41:30
promoting those things that decrease our stress levels,
41:33
those strong healthy, loving nurturing relationships, the
41:36
ability to laugh. And, you know, any of you out
41:40
there who have laughed so hard, you've almost peed, then you
41:43
have truly made. You know what I mean?
41:46
Yeah. And I think that's the thing.
41:48
That's important. It's really important to keep
41:51
doing those things that bring you Joy.
41:54
That's how you maintain that youthfulness.
41:56
I think they once again nobody selling that product because
42:01
it's not a market and I get it, you know, it's about making
42:06
money and stuff like that, who doesn't like money for the
42:09
simple fact that money provides us with those bucket list items,
42:13
you know? That's what we like money but
42:15
it's a tool that and that's what you have to look at it.
42:19
And so, you know, I think those are the things that our partner
42:22
and I think it's important to do things that fill you up that
42:27
bring you Joy, that bring you that sense of peace and safety,
42:31
security. Whatever that is.
42:33
Those are the things that truly lead to that longevity.
42:36
So it's not about anti-aging. It's about aging with Grace,
42:41
dignity, respect for yourself. And remembering those imaginary
42:46
people that we don't know because they haven't come
42:48
forward. Yes we do their the corporations
42:52
that are marketing about and you're probably right.
42:56
It's for all of you out there. It's not saying don't use those
42:59
products, right? Don't enhance whatever.
43:02
But just don't let it be that you're doing it because you're
43:05
afraid of Aging or because you think there's something bad
43:08
about aging or all this negative stuff about aging do it because
43:13
you want to enhance The beauty that you already have, you know,
43:16
that's what it's about wear. The clothes you want to wear.
43:19
If you're 50 60, 70 80, I don't care what age, you are wear, it
43:24
proudly be you because that's all you can be, but we're so
43:28
busy being what everybody tells us to be, if you open that book
43:33
and itself. Oh, when you hit for 5060, this
43:35
was up. Close it.
43:38
Close it. Close.
43:39
No. Because we're all individuals.
43:43
Those are Statements very and that's what you have to realize.
43:48
And I feel like you know as much as you can perpetuate that
43:51
intrinsic Joy. That's the real age-defying
43:54
right there. Yes.
43:56
The age-defying is those relationships having that motion
44:01
getting up and walking laughing. All of those things.
44:05
That's what's age-defying. And it's not buying into
44:09
somebody else's idea of what age is.
44:12
It will people sit there and say you You know, Walt actor.
44:15
Hmos are like what power without supposed to enact the eye.
44:19
It can only be who I am and I was loved.
44:21
If little kid asked me what my age isn't parents will say, ah,
44:24
you can't ask that. And always tell them then,
44:27
oftentimes I'll get well, you act like a Kia so that your
44:32
sleep down there, like thank you, you know, I don't do kids
44:36
now but I, you know, I am at the place where I do not want to be
44:39
a jungle gym L, don't believe I still build things with Legos
44:43
and Play in all that other stuff and I will still do stuff like
44:47
that. Just because I do it because I
44:49
enjoy it. We still color the coloring
44:51
books. Every once in a while we do all
44:53
those things and the thing is because it's not for somebody
44:57
who's six or eight or 10, or whatever.
45:00
And all of you, you know, even kids will have that they have
45:02
this pressure if they like a certain player.
45:04
Something. Oh, you're 12.
45:06
Now, you're almost a teenager. You can't do that anymore, so
45:08
they put them away. Even if I brought him Joy, if
45:12
you're a pair of don't do it then.
45:13
Play with whatever they want to play with and be who they are.
45:17
Starting to get pressure from outside of the home.
45:20
The, their peers are going to well, well, that's childish.
45:23
Don't do that. The thing is, is that once
45:26
again, these are just made up things made up ideals of what
45:30
we're supposed to be at whatever age.
45:32
So hopefully, today you take away from this if you are one of
45:37
those who is working on age-defying, it's not about age
45:41
defying. It's about embracing age laughs
45:45
a little laugh, a lot. Walk a little do those things
45:51
have that bucket list, keep adding to it and valuing the
45:55
place that you are, yes and build those relationships.
46:01
All of those things to decrease stress in order to help one feel
46:04
better about who they are. That's what it's all about,
46:07
defying age. And I'd like I said, I don't
46:10
think an age defying but that's about what enhances us to live a
46:13
fulfilled life, regardless of the age that we get to it.
46:17
Hopefully It's an old one. We always have a gratitude
46:20
statement for that you know gratitude statements are very
46:24
important. We do it on a daily slowing down
46:27
the mind being in the moment. All of those things are part of
46:33
our longevity. It's about it's not about
46:36
anti-aging. It's about longevity, so
46:40
remembering that. So we hope you had fun today.
46:43
We hope you walk away with the little stuff and we always use a
46:47
grout in. In statement for, we're grateful
46:50
for our long, happy healthy lives and I think that that has
46:54
really contributed to a positive mind about that.
46:57
Yes, so don't listen to other people.
47:00
Be who you are if you wear what you wanna wear, all of those
47:04
things. And so we hope when you, you
47:06
know, listen to this podcast, you'll laugh a little you'll get
47:10
up and walk to the kitchen, who cares whatever could pick up is
47:15
you know just have fun. Have fun and remember those
47:21
make-believe people in the that we don't get to see those
47:24
imaginary people. When you're sitting there
47:26
doubting yourself for something ask yourself, is this really
47:29
near those imaginary people dance or nine?
47:31
Times out of 10, is the Imagine effort of people.
47:34
Okay, so keep that in mind. We really hope you enjoyed the
47:38
episode today. Next week we actually will have
47:40
a guest on. We're going to have local
47:43
businesses and local female business owner which were I'm
47:47
really excited about because once again you know we're all
47:50
about promoting women and minorities and and just people
47:53
in general with small business and stuff like that.
47:56
So we're really excited about that.
47:58
We're really looking forward to it and we are looking forward to
48:01
next week with you guys as well. So thank you so much, have a
48:05
great week, be kind to others, but most importantly, be kind to
48:08
yourself and laugh. A little and enjoy your
48:11
longevity by.