Latest / Catholic Spirit Radio / Catholic Conversations #200: Preparing for Eternity: Catholic Funerals, Burials & Hope
Transcript
- 0:00Catholic Conversations on Catholic Spirit Radio.
- 0:04Welcome to Catholic Conversations. I'm your host, Teresa Chambers.
- 0:07I'm excited to be talking with Fr. David Richardson, pastor of Epiphany Parish in Normal, Illinois.
- 0:13Welcome, Fr. David. How are you? It's great to be with you.
- 0:16Yeah, and for those of us who don't know, tell us a little bit about yourself and Epiphany Parish.
- 0:22So I was born actually in New Jersey, but I was raised in the suburb of Chicago.
- 0:27I grew up in St. Charles. I went to University of Illinois for college before entering the seminary.
- 0:33I went to St. Mindred Seminary. It's a Benedictine monastery in southern Indiana.
- 0:37And I was ordained a priest in 2003. So I just celebrated 23 years as a priest.
- 0:42And my first three years, I was at St. Matthew in Champaign.
- 0:45For 18 years, I was at St. Philomena in Peoria. And for the last two years,
- 0:49I've been at Epiphany in Normal.
- 0:51Just a great, great congregation. There's a typical parish with a school attached.
- 0:56And it's about 370 kids or so in the school, pre-K through eight.
- 1:01Probably about, I don't know the exact number, maybe about 1,300,
- 1:041,400 families in the parish.
- 1:06It's a great community. Yeah, Epiphany is one of the many parishes that we have
- 1:10in the Bloomington Normal area, and we're so glad to have you here today.
- 1:14Father, I know you have a remarkable story about how you came into the priesthood.
- 1:18Can you take us back to the beginning of your discernment journey and walk us
- 1:22through how God called you?
- 1:23Sure, there's so many, so many details to think about being called to being
- 1:27a priest. And I'd be honest with you, my first memory, one of my first memories
- 1:31in life, I was five years old.
- 1:33As I said, I was born in New Jersey. My parents moved back to the Chicagoland
- 1:36area and had a new house built. And they had a priest come out to bless the house.
- 1:40And I remember looking up at him, thinking, that's what I want to do as a five-year-old,
- 1:44as he was walking around blessing the house.
- 1:46And between that and the moment when the bishop had his hands on my head and
- 1:50ordaining me, there was a lot of ups and downs and challenges and thoughts and
- 1:54prayers and all those kinds of things.
- 1:55But very specifically, recently, I had shared a story at a small group at Epiphany,
- 2:00that kind of was one of those drivers that convinced me to step in.
- 2:04I was finishing up at the University of Illinois and getting ready to graduate.
- 2:07And during the University of Illinois, I had switched from computer science major to psychology.
- 2:13I was thinking about being a priest, and I had gotten confirmed at U of I at
- 2:16the Newman Center when I was 21, and I was discerning then priesthood and that or being a counselor.
- 2:22And I was really thinking about going on and working with people and doing some counseling.
- 2:26So I was looking at grad schools for counseling and, but I kept,
- 2:29you know, getting this nudge to discern priesthood. And it was a priest I had
- 2:33gotten to know, Father Mike Bliss, who was at the Newman Center when I was confirmed.
- 2:38I called him up and I said, listen, I'm not sure what to do here.
- 2:41I'm thinking about being a priest, but I'm not sure. He says,
- 2:43you got to go on this vocation retreat, Emmaus days. So I went on the Emmaus days and.
- 2:47Came back, and after that kind of had decided to go in.
- 2:50But in the midst of that time, I was renewing my commitment to the rosary,
- 2:55praying through the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary,
- 2:58getting to know some of the history of the rosary and praying the rosary and
- 3:02different miraculous signal graces that happen around praying the rosary.
- 3:06And one of them I had heard about or read about was that rosary is turning gold
- 3:11and different signs that God would give that someone's on the right path or doing the right thing.
- 3:16But as I was discerning, kind of going into priesthood was struggling with it
- 3:19a little bit, be honest with you, emotionally struggling with the commitment and all that.
- 3:24And I was praying the rosary one night and kind of cried myself to sleep,
- 3:27be honest with you, put the rosary around my neck and went to sleep.
- 3:30It's really not jewelry, not supposed to necessarily wear the rosary, but I did at that time.
- 3:35And I woke up in the morning and all of the metal chains on the rosary around
- 3:40under the black beads had all turned gold.
- 3:42Except for three, which were the three around the Blessed Virgin Mary,
- 3:45which for me at the time signaled her humility.
- 3:49And it was an instant sign to me there that the Lord was putting me down the right path.
- 3:53And I was kind of inspecting the rosary and looking at all the gold chains.
- 3:57And you could kind of see through on each of the links that they were gold all
- 4:01the way through, except the one that was around the crucifix.
- 4:03It was a solid gold ring. And in my head at the time, I thought,
- 4:08you know, if that's really gold all the way through, then this is really a miracle
- 4:10and it's where I'm supposed to be.
- 4:11Well, I ended up deciding to go into seminary and I started at St.
- 4:15Minard and I was on a rosary walk one day, probably about a year later after this had happened.
- 4:19And I was praying with that rosary. My shoe was untied. I reached down to tie
- 4:23my shoe and I stood up and the crucifix on the rosary got caught under my shoe.
- 4:28And as I stood up, it broke loose. And the first thought in my head was,
- 4:31I wonder if that ring is gold all the way through.
- 4:33And that held the crucifix and looked at it and inspected it.
- 4:36And sure enough, it was, and it was kind of like, okay, I'm on the right path.
- 4:40And there was four more years of seminary prayer and discernment and study and
- 4:44all that from that point on. But it was kind of the convincing thing for me
- 4:48at the time that I was where I was supposed to be by the Lord.
- 4:50And, you know, he was walking there with me.
- 4:52Yeah, that's really kind of, it's just amazing. I mean, it's not very common,
- 4:59I'm sure, when that happens.
- 5:00So, like, what did you do with it?
- 5:03It's, I had to be honest with you, I shared the story with a friend years later
- 5:08after I was ordained a priest, and she ended up taking that rosary and put it
- 5:12in one of those shadow boxes where you can hang it on the wall.
- 5:14So it kind of hangs in my office, you know.
- 5:17So I pray with, I kind of have a tradition, wherever I go, I buy rosaries.
- 5:20So I have a lot of rosaries, a lot, kind of a collection of rosaries.
- 5:23And so that one just kind of sits in a shadow box on a wall.
- 5:26I don't really pray with that one anymore. Well, that's really amazing.
- 5:30How do you think that prayer with the rosary helped you in your discernment?
- 5:36Well, the rosary obviously is to enter into meditations on the life,
- 5:39death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ and sharing in the prayers of the Blessed
- 5:43Virgin Mary and leading us closer to a deeper understanding of the personhood
- 5:47of God and developing that relationship with God, pulling God into our lives.
- 5:50And so any prayer where we're talking to God, we're kind of sifting through
- 5:54and thinking through our own lives and how our lives relate to God.
- 5:59And so I think that in my own discernment, it was really asking God to guide
- 6:04me in my own thoughts and help me to understand my own desires for priesthood,
- 6:08which was specifically saying the Mass and hearing confessions.
- 6:10To be honest with you, bringing the Eucharist to people and bringing healing
- 6:14and forgiveness to people was what was most on my heart in discernment as I
- 6:19was getting ready to be ordained.
- 6:21And that just kind of those conversations and through the rosary helps us to
- 6:26really focus in on what Jesus did for us, how he laid down his life for us,
- 6:29how much he loves us and how that love is supposed to spark an interest of returning love.
- 6:34And it was the way in which I just felt like the Lord was asking me to respond to him.
- 6:39And what would you say to a young man today, even an older man,
- 6:42who feels a stirring towards the priesthood but isn't sure?
- 6:47Well, there's so many ways of discerning and talking to the Lord about it.
- 6:50But once there is an interest in one's own heart or one's seriously thinking
- 6:53about it, the first is talking to either your parish priest or from your parish
- 6:59priest calling the diocese and talking to the Father Chase at the Office of Vocations.
- 7:04He just does a great job of recruitment and helping the guys to discern whether
- 7:07or not a call into the seminary is for them.
- 7:10Obviously, the discernment for priesthood leads to seminary,
- 7:13and the seminary's role is to help with that discernment, to help with education,
- 7:18and help with the formation that allows a guy to both for himself to discern if it's for him.
- 7:23He feels called to living a life as a priest, serving as a priest,
- 7:26but also for the diocese to discern, Is this a man that the bishop would like
- 7:31to ordain to serve in his church, to serve in his diocese?
- 7:35So there's many voices that get involved in the discernment of somebody into the priesthood.
- 7:40And it's not just in my own day, to be honest with you, early on,
- 7:43I felt like it was all on me and it was all something I had to think about,
- 7:46all I had to discover and learned over the years. Obviously,
- 7:49there's many voices involved and many people involved to help with that discernment.
- 7:53And it's a two-way street. It's the church discerning you and the man discerning
- 7:58the church and ministry and helping that decision come about.
- 8:02Yeah. And when we think about discernment, a lot of people may have heard the
- 8:07word, but they might not actually know the process or what that means.
- 8:10Yeah, discernment really is just thinking through things with God.
- 8:14I mean, it's a conversation. Our prayer really is basic.
- 8:16It's conversation with God. And discerning through things is recognizing that
- 8:21God has something to say to us. God's created us all in His image and likeness.
- 8:24He has a particular relationship with us. He knows us better than we know ourselves.
- 8:28And when we discern something or talk to God about something,
- 8:31we're allowing the voice of God to speak back to us.
- 8:33And it's opening ourselves up to hearing God's voice. And unless you get a vision
- 8:38of Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and they tell you what to do, answered prayers are nudged
- 8:41thoughts where we get inspired.
- 8:43Just all the biblical authors were inspired by the Holy Spirit to write the
- 8:48scriptures and to reveal what God was communicating to them.
- 8:52And it's the same way for all of us in discernment that we allow the Holy Spirit
- 8:56to speak to us to bring some clarity to our own desires and see how our desires
- 9:01can match up with the desire of God.
- 9:02Well, and I think that that's a great transition to discernment with what you
- 9:06came to talk about today, which is preparing for Catholic burial and Catholic funerals.
- 9:12And it's interesting because both of my parents have passed and I had a new,
- 9:17you know, it's one of the things you really don't look forward to in life is
- 9:20putting your parents to rest.
- 9:22And, you know, I was the youngest of six and I really had a lot of solace in
- 9:27the fact that the structure is there you know what to expect.
- 9:31And the priests were great that we worked with and you know it just really helps
- 9:35that we have an order to it you don't have to just figure it all out we have
- 9:41to trust that God has a process and it's it's it's already ready to go.
- 9:46Yeah, certainly. There's so many levels to think about when we talk about the
- 9:49funeral rites and preparing for the passing of ourselves or for our loved ones.
- 9:54But essentially, the funeral liturgy is to do several things.
- 9:59One, especially the Mass, is to pray for somebody who's died and asking God's
- 10:02mercy to be upon them, that they be healed and forgiven of their sins and to
- 10:06be welcomed into the eternal kingdom.
- 10:09Secondly, it's a looking ahead to the final resurrection as just as Jesus received
- 10:14his body back as he resurrected himself that we believe we will share in that
- 10:18resurrected form in the body at the end of time.
- 10:20So we're kind of looking ahead in a hopefulness to the end of time when all
- 10:25of our souls are reunited with our bodies at the end of time.
- 10:28And it allows for the people who have been left behind to grieve and for the
- 10:33church to to grieve with the people and to have prayer together to support each other.
- 10:38So it's really those three main aspects that the church is trying to do with
- 10:43the liturgy of the funeral.
- 10:45So when you're planning a funeral, there are kind of certain parts to the Mass.
- 10:51Do you want to go over those and kind of what the main points of what we're,
- 10:56doing every time? Sure. Yeah, the going ahead. So on a typical,
- 11:00for me as a parish priest, when someone passes, usually the funeral home calls the church.
- 11:06If I know them really well, I know they're in the dying process.
- 11:09Sometimes I'll be in communication with the family as it's taking place.
- 11:12And, you know, obviously there's the sacrament of anointing and the apostolic
- 11:17pardon, which is a forgiveness of sin. It's a wiping someone clean.
- 11:21You really want to pray for it. Make sure you get that before you go on to meet our maker.
- 11:26There's a praying or preparing for death with the person who's dying.
- 11:31But then when the family calls, the funeral home, then usually you meet with
- 11:34the family once you pick a date and a time, those kind of structural things are done.
- 11:39When you meet with the family, the two main things that the family really needs
- 11:42to pick out, and be honest with you, it's great if people would do it themselves.
- 11:46Before they pass themselves because it really helps the family in those moments.
- 11:50But it's picking the music for the funeral. So you have an opening hymn,
- 11:54a closing hymn, an offertory hymn, and a communion hymn.
- 11:57And then there's the readings that are read. So typically there's an Old Testament
- 12:01reading, a New Testament reading, and a gospel reading.
- 12:04And there's a lectionary book that's specifically for funeral liturgies that
- 12:08the families can walk through and pick it out.
- 12:11But I have many people that pick it out themselves and hand it on file or meet
- 12:16with me, even be honest with you, before they pass and say, this is what I want for my funeral father.
- 12:21And it makes it a lot easier on loved ones not to have to make those decisions
- 12:25because there certainly are a lot of decisions to be made once someone passes.
- 12:30But that's kind of the initial structure of setting up the mass and having the mass said.
- 12:35There's so many beautiful prayers
- 12:37that are involved in the funeral liturgy itself, but we start the liturgy.
- 12:42It can be started at the funeral home the night before. There's specific prayers
- 12:46that can be done for the vigil that points to the Mass being said.
- 12:51There can be prayers that are said over the body. Obviously,
- 12:53we have a reverence for the body because it houses our souls during this life.
- 12:57And so a lot of the prayers of the Mass, the funeral Mass, are about having
- 13:01a thanksgiving for the physical body that our loved ones had while they were in this world.
- 13:06Obviously, we're thinking about their soul going on and journeying to God.
- 13:10But there's a kind of a dichotomy of looking at both of the beauty of the body
- 13:15and the soul and how they were united in this world. And the soul then goes
- 13:19on to be with God. And so when we start the funeral mass, there's obviously
- 13:22the introductory rites and that we do at every mass.
- 13:25But then there's first then a blessing with holy water, obviously the.
- 13:29The first sacrament of the church is baptism. Baptism is the doorway into all the other sacraments.
- 13:34Can't receive Eucharist or forgiveness or confirmation, any of the other sacraments
- 13:38without being baptized first. And so we're reminded at our funeral liturgy that
- 13:43the person has been baptized. So there's a sprinkling with holy waters in the waters of baptism.
- 13:48I use me, David died with Christ and rose to life with him. May he now share
- 13:53in eternal glory. And water is sprinkled on the casket or the remains of the person.
- 13:58There also is a funeral pall that is placed over the casket and the funeral
- 14:02pall like at baptism, holy water is used to baptize.
- 14:06The funeral pall represents the white garment that's placed upon us when we
- 14:10are baptized, showing purity and forgiveness and incorporation into Jesus Christ.
- 14:15We're a member of his community, his body of Christ, of the church.
- 14:19And so it's a reminder of that.
- 14:20And there can also be, a Bible could be placed in the casket,
- 14:23or a crucifix can be placed on the casket and blessed as a sign of religious symbols.
- 14:29And then it starts with an opening prayer. There's so many beautiful prayers
- 14:32to pick from, but one example is, O God, whose nature it is always to forgive
- 14:37and to show mercy, we humbly implore you for your servant David,
- 14:40whom you have called to journey to you.
- 14:42And since he hoped and he believed in you, grant that he may be led to our true
- 14:46homeland in heaven to delight in everlasting joys.
- 14:50One of the things that we believe as Catholics is we pray what we believe and we believe what we pray.
- 14:55And so all of the prayers of the Mass is beautiful. All the prayers of the Mass
- 14:58are statements of faith, statements of things that we hold to be true.
- 15:02And from the opening prayer, it leads us obviously into the liturgy of the Word,
- 15:05the Old Testament, the New Testament, the Gospel reading, the celebration of the Mass.
- 15:10And we pray the Mass specifically for the person who's passed on,
- 15:14asking that the grace of Jesus Christ that He won on the cross 2,000 years ago
- 15:19is applied to the person who we're saying the Mass for.
- 15:22So whenever a Mass is said from the intention of anyone, we're asking that the
- 15:27efficacious grace of Jesus Christ is applied to them, that healing and forgiveness is given.
- 15:31Immediately after distribution of communion towards the end of the Mass,
- 15:34there's a couple parts that are key. There's a final commendation.
- 15:38We commend the person to God with some beautiful prayers. And it starts off
- 15:42to the people, before we go our separate ways, let us take leave of our brother.
- 15:46May our farewell express our affection for him.
- 15:49May it ease our sadness and strengthen our hope.
- 15:52And one day we shall joyfully greet him again when the love of Christ conquers
- 15:56all things and destroys even death itself.
- 15:59And then there's often a song, Farewell. That song, it's a beautiful song.
- 16:04Different churches use a couple different versions, but it really helps people
- 16:07to have that kind of goodbye song.
- 16:10And then immediately after that, there's the prayer of commendation.
- 16:13The priest prays, Into your hands, Father of mercies, we commend our brother
- 16:17David in the sure and the certain hope. So it's always looking ahead.
- 16:20We're hoping that together with all those who have died in Christ,
- 16:23that he will rise with him on the last day.
- 16:25And we give you thanks for the blessings which you bestowed upon David in this life.
- 16:29For there are signs to us of your goodness. and of our fellowship with the saints
- 16:33in Christ. Merciful Lord, turn toward us and listen to our prayers.
- 16:37Open the gates of paradise to your servant and help us who remain here to comfort
- 16:41one another with assurances of faith until we all meet in Christ and are with
- 16:45you and our brother forever.
- 16:47We ask this through Christ our Lord.
- 16:49Amen. And there's actually then the mass at church ends then and there's a procession
- 16:54then to the place of burial.
- 16:56So it's actually that the mass is not ended then. The blessing is not given until after the burial.
- 17:01So there's a procession that takes place immediately after that when we leave
- 17:05church after the closing hymn.
- 17:08And, you know, I appreciate you reading some of the earlier parts,
- 17:12the starts of the mass prayers, because a lot of times when it's your loved
- 17:17one, you're in your emotional state and you're not really hearing what the priest is saying.
- 17:23As much as you probably should be listening, you're probably not really hearing
- 17:25it. You're just trying to not cry and you're trying to make sure that aunt so-and-so
- 17:29is being nice to brother so-and-so and cousin so-and-so.
- 17:32And so, you know, I think that it's amazing how we have all of this in place
- 17:38to reassure us that there is hope after all of it's said and done, the dust is settled.
- 17:45It's not going to be the end and the end doesn't have to be a bad thing.
- 17:49It can be full of life and love again.
- 17:52So, you know, as a child, a Catholic family child, where you're the youngest
- 17:57of six, you go to a lot of funerals growing up.
- 18:00And when you're the youngest, you're the person that everyone wants to hold
- 18:04and play with and you get all the attention.
- 18:07So I grew up going to funerals a lot when I was a kid. And I always thought
- 18:10that they were fun because everybody wanted to talk to me. Everybody wanted
- 18:13to hold me and sit with me.
- 18:15I was like the person that gave everyone hope because I was a young child.
- 18:20So I appreciate the fact that the mass is hopeful.
- 18:23It's not a negative thing because a lot of us have, you know,
- 18:27may have sour memories of when our loved one died or when a close loved one
- 18:31died. And, you know, it was all we could do to pray to get through the mass,
- 18:35to get through the burial, to get to the next part.
- 18:38And so I appreciate you sharing some of those prayers with us.
- 18:42We're coming up on a break, so we're going to transition a little bit here.
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- 19:04This is Catholic Conversations with Teresa Chambers, and I'm here with Father
- 19:08David, who is the pastor at Epiphany Parish in Normal, Illinois.
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- 20:48Welcome back to Catholic Conversations. I am your host, Teresa Chambers.
- 20:51I am here with Father David Richardson from Epiphany Parish in Normal,
- 20:55Illinois, where he is the pastor, and we have been talking about his discernment
- 21:00story, and we also are talking about,
- 21:03Christian burial and funeral topics.
- 21:07And so we kind of went through the structure of the Christian Mass of burial,
- 21:14but there's a part after the Mass is over that we're not quite done yet.
- 21:18Yeah, so after the Mass is completed at the church, the blessing is actually
- 21:22not given at the end of the Mass in church. There's the procession to the burial.
- 21:26There can be times and considerations where burials could happen at a later
- 21:30date, but typically it happens immediately after the Mass, and we'd have a procession,
- 21:36to the burial ground. And once we get there, we're.
- 21:40Saying a prayer of blessing over the place where the burial is going to take place.
- 21:45And so we get to the burial ground and we pray, Our brother David has gone to
- 21:50his rest in the peace of Jesus Christ. May the Lord now welcome him to the table
- 21:54of God's children in heaven. So we're looking forward to that gift of heaven.
- 21:58And with faith and hope in eternal life, we pause and assist him with our prayers.
- 22:03And then we pray to the Lord also for ourselves. May we who mourn here be reunited
- 22:08one day with our brother.
- 22:09And together may we meet Christ Jesus when he who is our life appears in glory.
- 22:14So it's again looking ahead to reunification with our loved ones when we get
- 22:19to the kingdom of heaven.
- 22:20And so then there's a prayer of blessing that takes place with using blessing
- 22:23of the holy water as well to bless the burial ground.
- 22:27And the priest was saying, Lord Jesus Christ, by your own three days in the
- 22:30tomb, you hallowed the graves of all those who believe in you.
- 22:34And so you made the grave a sign of hope that promises us resurrection,
- 22:38even as it claims our mortal bodies.
- 22:40Grant that our brother may sleep here in peace until you awaken him to glory,
- 22:44for you are the resurrection and the life.
- 22:47And then he will see you face to face, and your light will see light.
- 22:50And know the splendor of God, for you live and reign forever and ever. Amen.
- 22:56And then after the ground is blessed, the prayer of committal actually takes place.
- 23:00Because God has chosen to call our brother from this life. We commit him here
- 23:04to the earth for we are dust and unto dust we shall return.
- 23:08But the Lord Jesus Christ will change our mortal bodies to be like his own in
- 23:12glory for he is risen, firstborn of the dead.
- 23:15So we now commend our brother to the Lord that the Lord may embrace him in peace
- 23:19and raise him up on the last day.
- 23:22And at most liturgies, we can pray intercessions, and we pray again the Lord's
- 23:26Prayer, just as we did at Mass. We pray the Lord's Prayer together out at the burial.
- 23:30And then there's the concluding prayer and blessing, which is really beautiful.
- 23:34And the priest prays, Almighty God, through the death of your Son on the cross,
- 23:38you destroyed our death.
- 23:39Through his rest in the tomb, you hallowed the graves of all who believe in you.
- 23:43And through his rising again, you restored us to eternal life.
- 23:46God of the living and of the dead, accept our prayers for those who have died
- 23:50in Christ and are buried with him in the hope of rising again.
- 23:54Since they were true to your name on earth, let them praise you forever in the
- 23:58joy of heaven. Through Christ our Lord.
- 24:00Amen. And there's a blessing. Merciful Lord, you know the anguish of the sorrowful.
- 24:04You are attentive to the prayers of the humble. Hear your people who cry out
- 24:08to you in their need and strengthen their hope in your lasting goodness.
- 24:12Through Christ our Lord.
- 24:13Amen. And eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine
- 24:17upon him. And may he rest in peace.
- 24:20Amen. And may his soul and all the souls of the faithful departed through the
- 24:23mercy of God rest in peace.
- 24:25Amen. And may the peace of God, which is beyond all understanding,
- 24:28keep your hearts and minds and the knowledge and the love of God and of his
- 24:31son, our Lord Jesus Christ.
- 24:34And then the blessing is given. And obviously you can see there's a strong look
- 24:38to the relationship we have with what Jesus Christ has done for us, how we share in that.
- 24:43And we want that to be applied to our loved ones. And we can look ahead to that
- 24:47being applied to ourselves as well as we pray what we believe and we believe what we pray.
- 24:52So that concludes the funeral liturgy, yeah.
- 24:55Yeah, and you know, I feel like
- 24:57funerals have really kind of diminished in their importance over time.
- 25:03Because we used to have two days worth of visitation, we had a rosary,
- 25:08and then there was the Mass on the third day.
- 25:11And it's like now everything, sometimes it gets squeezed into just a couple
- 25:14hours of visitation right before the Mass.
- 25:16Is there like kind of a recommended way that we're supposed to do that as Catholics?
- 25:20I agree. There's probably been some changes even during my 20 years of priesthood.
- 25:24I've seen some changes where less people do the visitations beforehand or handle
- 25:30the funeral liturgy a little bit different and less time given,
- 25:33there's probably so many reasons for it.
- 25:35I don't know, people's time and schedules and part of the economy,
- 25:39funerals are not cheap. You know, there's obviously there's.
- 25:43Especially with the burial and the casket. And there's a lot of things to purchase.
- 25:47And so there's that aspect of it as well.
- 25:50I think some of it, there's not as much the practice of the faith and understanding
- 25:55of the funeral liturgy where people long for that and ask for that.
- 25:58And sometimes people in their own dying days don't make it clear to their family
- 26:02that they want this for them.
- 26:04And maybe the kids or others in the family don't know exactly what they wanted,
- 26:08or don't have the same relationship with the church where they would know what to do.
- 26:12And often then lean into others to give explanations of what ought to be done.
- 26:17And if they don't get the right person giving them the right answers,
- 26:20then sometimes things don't get done for the people. But I always recommend
- 26:25at least a Mass being said, even if there's not the funeral liturgy.
- 26:29Every Mass you go to at church is being prayed for someone, living or deceased.
- 26:33And the Mass is being offered for people. And you should always have a Mass
- 26:37said for anybody who's died, Anybody you've known, any of you loved, and
- 26:41you want to have the grace and power of Jesus Christ crucified applied to them,
- 26:45no matter how long ago they passed, having a Mass said for them is the best
- 26:49thing that you can do for a loved one.
- 26:51Right. And so a lot of people might have been baptized Catholic,
- 26:54but then they may have fallen away or they don't go to church a lot.
- 26:58And they might have kids, they might have baptized them, but then they haven't
- 27:01gone to church a lot. So then they don't really understand that process anymore.
- 27:06So, what is, you know, what are you supposed to do when you're not sure?
- 27:10Call and ask your priest. Right. Yeah, call and re-engage.
- 27:14I mean, I think it's very, for all of us in anything, when you don't practice
- 27:19something or not thinking about something or a part of something for a long
- 27:21period of time, it can feel like it fell away. But anybody who's a baptized
- 27:25Catholic is part of the family.
- 27:28And the church is a family and the church takes care of our family.
- 27:30And, you know, that we are, you know, called to, you know, do the funeral rites,
- 27:34you know, for everyone who's a part of our family.
- 27:36And, you know, there's a lot of, obviously, I deal with and see a lot of people
- 27:41in their dying moments. And it's very powerful. It's very beautiful.
- 27:44And I've seen so many deathbed conversions, to be honest with you.
- 27:47You have so many great stories of seeing people come to Jesus there at their
- 27:52last moments or come back to the church, as you're saying, in those final years
- 27:56of their lives where they kind of stepped away for a while.
- 27:59And for many reasons, I mean, people have all sorts of reasons that,
- 28:02you know, different things happen in life, but, you know, that the Lord keeps
- 28:06churning in their heart and they're wanting that relationship with him and come back to him.
- 28:10It's one of the beauties of the sacraments of the church, but especially in
- 28:14the moments of leading up to death. I mean, the church...
- 28:17Opens up everything, you know, to everyone at the, you know, at the moment of death.
- 28:22So I've done baptisms and confirmations and, you know, given first communion
- 28:27in people's final hours, you know, and, you know, the church really wants to
- 28:31make sure that the gift of the sacrament and the sacraments are for the living.
- 28:35So they exist to help us get to heaven. That's the point of the sacraments,
- 28:38they're for the living to help us get to heaven. So after, obviously after death
- 28:42takes place, the sacraments aren't given. It's for us to help get us to heaven.
- 28:45Once we die, we face God and we have judgment there immediately.
- 28:49So I always encourage people to just reach out and ask, and especially if there's
- 28:54a baptized Catholic person there that we claim you as Catholic forever.
- 28:57Once you're baptized Catholic, you're one of us.
- 28:59And so we'd be happy to take care of you in your dying moments and especially
- 29:04to say the prayers for you as you pass on.
- 29:07Yeah, I can appreciate that because it's hard when people might be struggling
- 29:12with mental illness and they aren't really necessarily mentally reassured.
- 29:18Open about their faith because of that illness that they have.
- 29:22And it's hard for family members to really understand that, yes,
- 29:26it was still there, even though they couldn't practice it in person.
- 29:30Yeah, now you're getting that kind of the soul and the body.
- 29:34You know, obviously we're creating
- 29:36the image and likeness of God and we're created with soul and body.
- 29:39The soul is eternal. It has what begins at conception and lives forever and
- 29:44gets judged when we, And the body ends in this world, obviously,
- 29:47and exists to help guide our soul throughout this life.
- 29:50And the soul is more powerful than the physical world. God creates the spiritual
- 29:55world first. All the angels were created before the material world.
- 29:59And so the spiritual world is more powerful. Your soul looks like you.
- 30:02Your soul is able to see and hear and taste. Like the Bible talks very clearly
- 30:07about banquets in heaven and seeing these beautiful souls. Well,
- 30:09you think of the perfection of all of your senses is what your soul enjoys in the kingdom of heaven.
- 30:16And the antithesis of that, obviously, for those who don't go to heaven,
- 30:20you know, the perfect destruction of all the senses is what we look at hell as.
- 30:25But the fulfillment of all of our senses and the realities as the body decays or St.
- 30:31Paul talks about in one of his letters that he was a tent maker and his body was like a tent.
- 30:36And just like the wind and the rain wears down a tent over time,
- 30:40so the body kind of wears down. But at the same time, the soul within us is
- 30:44being renewed and being prepared to meet God. And the reality is that some of our bodies.
- 30:51Limit the soul in this world. I mean, actually all of our bodies do because
- 30:55their spirits and souls are more powerful, can see more, hear more than the body allows us to.
- 31:01And so if people's eyes don't work well, they can't see well in this world.
- 31:05Well, that's just on the body aspect.
- 31:07That's not on the soul aspect. And so when the soul leaves the body,
- 31:11we'll be able to see perfectly and be here perfectly and taste perfectly.
- 31:16All the things that we enjoy in this world are prefiguring for the things that we'll enjoy in heaven.
- 31:21And so when I talk to people who are obviously dealing with loved ones who have
- 31:25dementia or different challenges that come in and all of a sudden they're acting differently.
- 31:32Or they're angry or they're expressing themselves in ways that they've never seen them act before.
- 31:38And it's happening in that dying process or that aging process.
- 31:43It's because of things happening to the body. It's not necessarily what's going
- 31:46on in the soul or the level of the intention of the soul.
- 31:50And this is where we have to really sift through and realize the beauty and
- 31:53the wisdom of God and God's grace and healing and why the sacraments are so
- 31:57necessary to bring about that forgiveness and healing to prepare one to go on to meet God.
- 32:03And I can't tell you how many times, and we mentioned earlier about the sacrament
- 32:07of anointing and the prayers that could be prayed over one in the hour of death,
- 32:12and it comes with forgiveness. And so many times I've been called to people on their deathbed and.
- 32:17They'll be sleeping in the hospital and I'll walk in to do the anointing and
- 32:21all of a sudden they wake up, have a conversation and receive the grace of the
- 32:26sacraments and I'll leave and I'll fall back asleep.
- 32:29Several times I've had people say, Father, that person and a loved one was asleep
- 32:33for two days. He woke up when you walked in the room, received the sacrament
- 32:36of anointing, had a whole conversation.
- 32:39You left the room five minutes later, they were asleep, they didn't wake up
- 32:41and they died a couple hours later.
- 32:42I mean, I can't tell you how many
- 32:44times. And the sacraments exist for the living to help us get to heaven.
- 32:48Jesus Christ gives them to us to comfort us, to bring us peace and to bring
- 32:52us hope and to help us to look forward to what will be.
- 32:55And, you know, and sometimes that's a looking back at the sacraments help us
- 32:59look back at what we need to be healed from and forgiven of and let go of from the past.
- 33:04Sometimes, as you were mentioning earlier, some of the reasons people maybe
- 33:08step away from religious practice or the faith or, you know.
- 33:12Weren't preparing themselves to have a funeral in the church because of whatever reasons.
- 33:15And some of those things the Lord really wants us to deal with and be healed
- 33:20of and be forgiven of here now before we face them face-to-face at the end of our lives.
- 33:26And that's really what the sacraments are for. It's what the church is for.
- 33:29It's to help us process life and to be set free today so that we can move forward
- 33:34in a new way. The sacraments are always about bringing us freedom.
- 33:37Christ comes to set us free.
- 33:38I think that that's a great, great way to think about it.
- 33:42And a lot of, you know, end of life issues seem very overwhelming for most of
- 33:46us because we don't talk about it enough and we don't try to learn,
- 33:52you know, what is recommended or what's the proper way to do it.
- 33:56We haven't been to enough funerals because we just sent a card because we're
- 34:01afraid of the emotions that we're
- 34:02going to have to face when we walk into church because we haven't been,
- 34:06maybe since the last funeral you know and and that's a hard thing that people
- 34:10have to face and and i really appreciate you know and i don't i don't have the
- 34:15problem of only going to funerals but.
- 34:17Some people, that might be the only time that they go to Mass is for funerals,
- 34:22and maybe Christmas and Easter every once in a while.
- 34:24So what would you say to someone who's kind of in that boat where they're afraid
- 34:29to go back, they know they should, but they're not quite sure what the first step should be?
- 34:34It's the same Jesus every day of the week. You know, he's always there and the
- 34:37Mass is the Mass. And yeah, certainly always inviting people in.
- 34:41And that's one of the reasons we, I'll be honest with you, I love doing funerals
- 34:44most because everybody who's there wants to be there, hands down.
- 34:49Like everybody who comes to a funeral, they're coming because they are choosing to be there.
- 34:53You come to a Sunday mass and your kids are getting dragged in.
- 34:56They want to be there. Like, you know, there's all sorts of other things going on.
- 34:58But clearly when a funeral mass happens, people want to be there.
- 35:01And so it really is a time to speak to everyone about the grieving process,
- 35:06the support of the church, the love of the church, the family of the church, and that you all have
- 35:10a role here, that everybody belongs within this community.
- 35:14And it is an inviting thing to invite people in.
- 35:16So you're hopeful that people, when they do come to,
- 35:20Mass for funerals, that they feel like they have a good experience of praying
- 35:24for a loved one and praying with the other people there
- 35:27and joining in that grieving process together that helps ground them in something
- 35:31that's really real and that's really life-giving and that does encourage them to want to come back.
- 35:38And you're right, it is difficult to know what to say sometimes.
- 35:41I think probably a lot of us.
- 35:43Make our biggest mistakes when we're trying to do things that we don't necessarily
- 35:47have to do. I mean, a lot of times that, you know, people just want us to say,
- 35:50I love you. I'm here with you. I'm sorry you're going through this.
- 35:53And, you know, I'm here to support you.
- 35:55And, you know, nobody has answers on all those things.
- 35:58And nobody's ever ready for any of our loved ones to pass on,
- 36:01no matter how long an illness has gone on or how long we've been or how old they are.
- 36:06Even, you know, I've had plenty of funerals from people in their nineties and
- 36:10even over a and you're still not yet ready to let someone go.
- 36:13I mean, we can believe in all the things we believe in, in God and in heaven
- 36:20and the gift of eternal life and all those blessings that are there.
- 36:23But the reality is some of us stay here and we let our loved ones go on and
- 36:27we look forward to the day where we get to be reunited with them.
- 36:30But it's difficult at times to know exactly what to say. But most importantly,
- 36:35I think it's, in my experience, it's been just being present with people and
- 36:39letting people know that we're there to walk with each other. Mm-hmm.
- 36:44Well, I think we're going to take another quick break. This is Catholic Conversations.
- 36:49I'm your host, Teresa Chambers, and we are here with Father David Richardson,
- 36:53who is the pastor at Epiphany Parish in Normal, Illinois.
- 36:56We'll be right back. You're listening to Catholic Conversations on Catholic
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- 38:35Welcome back to Catholic Conversations. I'm your host, Teresa Chambers,
- 38:38and I'm here with Fr. David Richardson from Epiphany Parish in Normal, Illinois.
- 38:43We've been talking about funerals, masses, a little bit about his discernment.
- 38:47We've got a little bit of your history.
- 38:49Fr. David, I feel like I'm getting to know you here, but we're kind of going
- 38:53to switch gears a little bit now, and we're going to talk about types of burial.
- 38:58And this isn't really a Catholic thing as much as it's more of a funeral director
- 39:02kind of a question in the grand scheme, but it does have to do with your Catholic
- 39:05faith. So some people want to get buried in a casket. Some people want to get cremated.
- 39:11What is the real recommended process?
- 39:15So there actually was a period of time in the church where cremation was strongly
- 39:20discouraged slash not allowed.
- 39:23Obviously, it leads back to what we were discussing earlier about having a reverence for the body.
- 39:27So God gives us the gift of our body as individuals, and we're called to have
- 39:31a reverence, take care of our bodies in this world as best we can and have a
- 39:35gratitude and thanksgiving that the body houses the soul.
- 39:37And so even in the dying process and with burial, we're having a reverence for.
- 39:43The body of our loved ones.
- 39:45And so the cremation process was seen for a long time as having irreverence
- 39:53towards the body is kind of why the church was against it for a period of time.
- 39:57But clearly we know as the scripture started off talking about ashes to ashes
- 40:01and dust to dust that we're all, that disintegration takes place over time anyways.
- 40:08And so the church kind of, you know, started having, allowing,
- 40:12certainly allowing that to take place and allowing it to take place during the mass.
- 40:16And then, you know, recognizing in kind of a commonsensical way that,
- 40:19you know, this is going that way anyways.
- 40:21And so we can still have a reverence for the remains of someone if it's handled
- 40:26in an appropriate way. So funeral homes can cremate a body and keep all of the cremains together.
- 40:32Like one body together and the burial, then the cremains could be present at
- 40:36mass and then they could be buried together at the burial ground.
- 40:40We certainly as Catholics want to keep the remains all together.
- 40:44There's kind of a trend out there to, you know, put remains in jewelry or to
- 40:49spread at different locations.
- 40:51And the reality is when the soul leaves the body, the soul goes on to be with
- 40:54God. And so the reverence we're having for the body after death is looking forward
- 41:01to the resurrection at the end of time.
- 41:03When, as we said earlier, the soul and the body reunite just like Jesus Christ
- 41:07at his resurrection, we will share in that glorified body at the end of time.
- 41:11And so there's a looking forward to that, which is why we want to keep our remains
- 41:16together and looking forward to bury them in one place and not to have a kind
- 41:22of an irreverence or spreading our ashes from here or there.
- 41:24And, and, or even keeping, there's kind of a tradition people or starting up
- 41:28with keeping the remains at someone's house or on a mantle, or it really is.
- 41:32Not recommended by the church.
- 41:33And we want to have a burial place. And not only, as I said,
- 41:37the prayers earlier, because we bless the ground and those prayers of blessing
- 41:40or looking ahead to the resurrection, but it also gives a place for,
- 41:45loved ones to go and grieve and to go and pray and to go visit someone physically,
- 41:51and not just have someone, you know, remaining in a house.
- 41:54And be honest with you, I've had so many times where people have discovered
- 41:58remains in someone's house that were just kind of lost and left in a box and those kinds of things.
- 42:04And it can happen, you know, when people don't pay attention to something.
- 42:07So in the final days, it's important to prepare for having a final resting place for someone.
- 42:13One way you can do that is to have your will made. And you can do that with
- 42:19our partner, mycatholicwill.com slash catholicspiritradio. It's worth investigating.
- 42:25I will say that I have a friend whose mom immigrated from Eastern Europe, and she was.
- 42:32Very much against cremation due to the fact that her mom tried to escape the Nazis in World War II.
- 42:40And it's like, well, I can respect that. I think that's a great reason to not
- 42:44choose cremation. It's everybody's personal choice. As long as you tell people,
- 42:48you have to have it written down because otherwise you kind of get what you
- 42:51get because when you're gone, you don't really have a say.
- 42:54So. Unfortunately, most of the decisions around that today are made on finances.
- 42:59It's more It's more expensive to purchase the casket and the crypt and all that
- 43:03than it is to do cremation and the land that's required or the place that's
- 43:08required to bury remains is, I would say,
- 43:12most of the reasons why people choose that nowadays.
- 43:15Do you think the Catholic Church will move towards like a more of a green burial,
- 43:19where the body can decompose naturally?
- 43:22I don't know. I hadn't thought about that. Yeah. I mean, because clearly when
- 43:26you have a funeral visitation, you're pumped all full of chemicals.
- 43:31And, you know, some people might not want to do that.
- 43:34And so does the church allow that kind of circumstance? Actually,
- 43:39as I said earlier, where I went to seminary, St. Miner's Benedictine Monastery.
- 43:43I mean, technically, that's the way they do theirs.
- 43:46They're buried in a wooden casket. There's no embalming down.
- 43:49And they're just a hole dug in the ground and the wood caskets placed in the
- 43:52ground. So, I mean, there's no vault.
- 43:55You know, it's like typically our cemeteries have vaults and the casket's locked
- 43:58in a vault and that's not done there at the monastery. So, yeah,
- 44:02that's something that's certainly allowed.
- 44:04Well, and it depends on the rules and laws of the state too because I know Illinois
- 44:07is kind of a crypt-friendly state. They really want you to have one of those.
- 44:11But it's interesting to learn about different types of funeral processes and
- 44:17they vary across cultures and across the world.
- 44:20And having an appreciation for the body as a whole, I think is important,
- 44:24whether it's cremated or not.
- 44:26And it's really kind of for a lot of people complain that the Catholic church
- 44:31never changes. Well, here's one way where we changed.
- 44:34We've made an accommodation so that you have choices now. It's not just you have to get,
- 44:40the whole big package that's expensive yeah i'm a firm believer too that if
- 44:44it makes common sense it's kind of part of our church and i mean the ashes the
- 44:49ashes the dust the dust it's kind of commonsensical that eventually all of us
- 44:52are disintegrating in that way and,
- 44:54it just kind of makes it a little quicker you know taking place when cremation
- 44:58is done but you know when they do it with having a reverence for the body and
- 45:01keeping the body all together and the carmines all being kept together and being
- 45:05given to the family for burial all together it's having that same reverence for the body.
- 45:09Well, and I think that that's an important part. I feel like we live in a society
- 45:13where we kind of throw away our elderly and we put them in homes and we don't
- 45:18want to have to worry about or think about them.
- 45:20And, you know, we kind of dismiss a lot of things. We've got people who are
- 45:24signing up to die because they think they're a burden to society and they're
- 45:28not valued. And, you know, it's like it's kind of a weird place to be.
- 45:34Yeah, there's a lot of things going on in the culture that way.
- 45:36Now, obviously, it gets at one of the core aspects of our faith is that we're
- 45:40all creating the image and likeness of God and we all have individual dignity
- 45:43that's given to us by God.
- 45:44And we're called to have a reverence for our own dignity and the dignity of everyone else.
- 45:48And there is a role that we all play within the family to care for each other,
- 45:52to monitor each other, to love on each other.
- 45:53And, you know, certain other cultures do a better job maybe of taking care of
- 45:57the different generations and living together as family.
- 46:00I think a lot of that's driven by economy and space and money and all those
- 46:04kinds of things that maybe are not necessarily the relational things that should
- 46:08be considered when caring for our loved ones and all the other things that people
- 46:12have going on in their lives.
- 46:13But it is something that it's important for us to pay attention to those who
- 46:18are, you know, in those dying years, you know, that life does change.
- 46:22And it's, in my experience, it's very difficult, you know, for people to have changed it.
- 46:27We all know, we've all felt it, whether no matter how old you are,
- 46:29when your body starts changing, you can do things differently,
- 46:32you can do it less, less well.
- 46:33And, you know, things are a little more difficult and that just keeps happening to all of us.
- 46:38And when it gets to those later years, it can be very frustrating for people
- 46:42when memory is not as sharp or not able to communicate or do things they used
- 46:47to, which actually can be very limiting.
- 46:50On hearing people or being able to go places and put themselves in a position
- 46:55to encounter others where then they then need others to encounter them.
- 46:59And so that looking forward to the ways in which we can care for our loved ones
- 47:03and be present to them and their need is an important way of living the Christian faith. Yeah.
- 47:09So I want to kind of back up a little bit because we talked a little bit about
- 47:14how you kind of pray over the body at the time of death.
- 47:17And I distinctly remember doing that with my mom when she passed because it
- 47:21was in the hospital, but my dad passed at home. And so it was a lot harder to
- 47:26get that figured out. So what is kind of the schedule of events for how that goes?
- 47:32The final blessing, the anointing of the sick is the sacrament that is given
- 47:37at the end of one's life, but it's actually a sacrament that can be given where
- 47:41any change of health takes place.
- 47:42So we anoint people who could be dealing with mental challenges or having physical
- 47:47challenges and surgeries and we're just needing prayer. So the sacrament is
- 47:52a healing sacrament, but it's both physical healing and spiritual healing.
- 47:57And so the Lord through the sacrament can heal people's bodies and can heal
- 48:01people's souls and forgive souls.
- 48:02So at the end of life, it's seen more as a soul purification sacrament.
- 48:06So it comes with forgiveness. Only priests can celebrate the sacrament of anointing
- 48:10of the sick because it involves both forgiveness of sin as well.
- 48:14And so you have to have a validly ordained priest to absolve sin in the name
- 48:18of Jesus Christ to stand in the person of him.
- 48:20And through the sacrament of anointing takes place where oil that's blessed
- 48:24by the bishop at the chrism mass during Holy Week is placed on the forehead
- 48:28and in the palms of the hand of the person while the priest prays.
- 48:32Through this holy anointing, may the Lord in his love and mercy help you with
- 48:35the grace of the Holy Spirit.
- 48:37Amen. And may the Lord who frees you from sin save you and raise you up.
- 48:41Amen. And so the oil is placed on the forehead and on the palms of the person.
- 48:45And so it's both praying for physical healing, but wiping clean,
- 48:49you know, this forgiving sin.
- 48:51And there's also an apostolic pardon that can be given at the moment of dying,
- 48:56and it's really one of those, as I mentioned earlier, you want to make sure
- 48:59you get it, and it's a freedom from the consequences or the effects of all of our sin in our past.
- 49:05So it really is the wiping us clean, and the apostolic pardon prayer the priest
- 49:10can pray over the person is, by the authority given to me by the apostolic see,
- 49:15I grant you a plenary indulgence and remission from all of your sins in the
- 49:19name of the Father and the Son and of the Holy Spirit.
- 49:22Amen. And so it's kind of a wiping of the consequences of indulgences.
- 49:27The consequences of sin are wiped out. And plenier indulgence means it's complete.
- 49:32There's partial indulgences, which is a partial wiping out of the effects of
- 49:36our sin and the consequences of our sin, or plenier meaning it's complete.
- 49:40And so it's a full, complete cleansing and gift to the soul as they're preparing
- 49:45to go on and meet God and face judgment.
- 49:48And I think that a lot of people, when you think about what a priest does,
- 49:52I think most people think that you marry people and that you do Sunday Mass.
- 49:56They kind of forget about the whole burial part and that you probably do almost
- 50:01as many burial Masses as you do Sunday Masses, maybe.
- 50:04Probably not quite as many, but I would say the last church I had in Peoria,
- 50:09we probably had between 40 and 60 funerals a year. I think we're about 30 or
- 50:13so here, maybe at Epiphany right now.
- 50:16About 70 baptisms a year, so it's good to have them. We need to hear more of
- 50:20that because it sure seems like there's more funerals. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 50:25It's something you want to encourage people to do. to be honest with you,
- 50:28as I said earlier, I really do love doing the funeral liturgy because it's such
- 50:32a time when people really want to be there and they're looking for an experience
- 50:35with God and they're looking for God in the midst of their grief and some grasping of understanding.
- 50:40And so it really is a beautiful liturgy of the church.
- 50:43Well, what do you think of the one message you would want to give to people
- 50:48as if they have a loved one that's kind of getting close to death?
- 50:53Like, when do you think the right time is to bring in the priest?
- 50:56Anytime. Well, yeah, I figured you would say that. Yeah, anytime you bring the priest.
- 51:01You know, I think what people don't do is they don't ask the question.
- 51:04So much of life and relationships, I think, is asking the right questions at the right time.
- 51:09And so easy people can, well, we'll get to that later, or maybe we'll take care
- 51:13of that at some point, or we can feel like uncertain about what to do here.
- 51:16Well, just ask. You know, your loved one is going through something difficult
- 51:21or serious, no matter what their age is, or if they're facing kind of end-of-life
- 51:25issues, and, you know, just very clearly saying, you know, would you like to
- 51:29have somebody come talk to you?
- 51:30And would you like the priest to come visit with you? Would you like to go to
- 51:33confession? Would you like to be anointed?
- 51:34Is there anything we can do to bring in the priest in?
- 51:37And all the priests here of our diocese, there's great priests in our diocese,
- 51:41and they're all very accustomed to coming and speaking with people in their
- 51:45hour of need, no matter what those kind of needs are, but especially in the hour of passing.
- 51:49And our Catholic hospitals are very blessed with having chaplains who are on
- 51:53staff there, who are taking care of people in the different things,
- 51:57different reasons they come into the hospital, but especially in the dying process there.
- 52:01So, yeah, I guess to answer it, I would say you can call a priest anytime.
- 52:05And I think it's probably one of the messages where all of us priests are probably
- 52:09trying to get out there is that we're really available for the family,
- 52:12you know, and to be there for people when the need is there and making sure
- 52:15that people realize that.
- 52:17That's what the role of the priest is about, is to help bring Christ to people
- 52:21and bring that comfort and hope for eternal life. Yeah, I feel like a lot of people...
- 52:26Feel like priests are so busy, they don't have time to talk to me.
- 52:30It's one of my pet peeves, people say that. Like, yeah, we all have a lot going
- 52:34on in life, but it's probably one of the worst things to say about a priest
- 52:38or to a priest that, you guys are so busy, I'm not going to bother you with this.
- 52:42No, that's what we're here for. I mean, like, there's a lot of administrative
- 52:44stuff you do at a parish, and there's a lot, but you do all of those things
- 52:48to do the fun stuff, which is the soul stuff, the things that help people get to heaven.
- 52:52And, you know, that's what, that's why we become priests is to pray with people,
- 52:56pray over people, help people to pray and help people understand the love of
- 53:00Jesus Christ and bring Christ into their lives.
- 53:02And all the other things we do administratively and run in a parish or a school
- 53:06and all those kinds of things exist just so we can bring Christ to people.
- 53:09And, you know, that there's so, yeah, I always encourage people never to think
- 53:13that the priest is too busy. You can always reach out to him.
- 53:15And, you know, sometimes you got to schedule things or find time for things.
- 53:18Sure, that's the case for all of our lives.
- 53:21But, you know, when it comes very specifically to the dying process,
- 53:25the priest can often bring a lot of peace and comfort.
- 53:28You know, just walking into, we had a seminarian with us for a couple months.
- 53:33And, you know, I've been doing this for 23 years. So you come in and out and you just do the things.
- 53:39And he went to the hospital with me the first time he came. And the first week
- 53:43he came and we got back in the car and he was like kind of processing and he was, that was amazing.
- 53:47I said, what's that? He's like, when you walked in the room,
- 53:50the entire room changed, like the feeling of the room, the, like,
- 53:53it was just, it was very clear who you were and what you were here to do.
- 53:57And like everybody turned to receive what you were bringing. And like,
- 54:01I mean, I probably haven't had that thought in a long time, but having somebody
- 54:04else like see that, experience that, and like, yeah, there is
- 54:08a way in which Christ is walking with the priest into a room and,
- 54:12you know, that we're coming to bring Jesus to them and to bring some healing and some peace.
- 54:16And, you know, that's the reason why I would say back to your question is just
- 54:21ask your loved ones, can we bring a priest to you? Would you like to talk about
- 54:24anything? Would you like to go to confession?
- 54:27You know, just making that request known. Well, and especially after all of
- 54:31the events that you're kind of coordinating are over after everybody's put in
- 54:34the ground where they should be.
- 54:37You're still there to support them spiritually, the people who are left living.
- 54:42It's not just about all about the person you're putting in the ground necessarily.
- 54:46Yeah, I try to do a lot of, when you meet with people during the process of
- 54:51planning liturgy for their loved one, planning the Mass, you kind of get an
- 54:55insight into where people are at, how they're grieving, how they're struggling.
- 55:00And let's face it, there are different passings that affect people differently.
- 55:04And I'm very accustomed to hand in on my number and contact and sometimes following
- 55:10up with people and just seeing where they're at as the grieving process goes
- 55:14on because there's so many stages to it.
- 55:16I mean, there's the shock and disappointment and the frustration.
- 55:20There can be anger. There can be just the feeling of sadness and loss.
- 55:24And sometimes when time goes on, there can be even shock that we maybe stop
- 55:29thinking about someone as much because they've passed on and time's gone on.
- 55:32And there's many, many stages to the grieving process. And, you know,
- 55:36making myself available on that end of it, you know, is something that I've
- 55:40found very rewarding for people and important for over the years.
- 55:45Well, I appreciate that. And that's why I kind of asked that question because
- 55:49I think a lot of people get intimidated sometimes when they're talking to a
- 55:52priest because they either have a bad memory from childhood or they think they're
- 55:55in the principal's office on some level.
- 55:57And that's not really the case, everyone.
- 56:00Priests are good. They're here to help us. They want to help us get to heaven.
- 56:03Somebody literally said that to me the other day. I said, I feel like I'm walking
- 56:06into the principal's office. I'm like, this is not the principal's office.
- 56:08And the principal's office is good too. Like we are both good people and we
- 56:12both love you and we both want to bring out the best. And like,
- 56:14you know, it's, yeah, I think the.
- 56:16I don't know, people's, I guess there's an authority aspect to the priesthood.
- 56:20I mean, I really don't see myself that way. It's one of those,
- 56:22you know, you are who you are.
- 56:24And like, I'm pretty trying to say a down to earth person, but you know,
- 56:28there is something to that where there's a respect or a looking to the authority,
- 56:32but you know, the priests are there because they chose to love God and.
- 56:37In the ministry and bring people to Christ.
- 56:39And really, if you think about why someone's a priest, then it makes it a little
- 56:43more, I guess, inviting to say, yeah, I can go talk to that person because,
- 56:47you know, he really wants to bring what I'm looking for.
- 56:50Right. So if you want to see Father David in person, go to Epiphany Parish in Normal, Illinois.
- 56:57And if you want to plan your funeral in advance, you can go to mycatholicwill.com
- 57:02slash catholicspiritradio and get started on the process. There's no cost.
- 57:06And you can have some questions to bring to your parish priest when you want to plan your funeral.
- 57:12This is Teresa Chambers, and you have been here for Catholic Conversations.
- 57:17Thanks. You've been listening to Catholic Conversations. Download our podcasts
- 57:21at catholicspiritradio.com.