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And Just Like That, Everything Changed - Chapter 11 This Inevitable Ruin · The Apocalypse Will Be Podcasted

0:00
Before we get started, we have some exciting
0:01
news. We're doing a Crawler Fan Box merch giveaway
0:05
for listeners of the show. We are going to be
0:08
giving away some Dungeon Crawler Carl themed
0:10
gear, including some of the keychains that are
0:13
causing such a fuss right now, instructions on
0:15
how to enter at the end of the episode. So I
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don't want to teach a cat how to use a warlord
0:20
menu, do you? I definitely do not. That's quite
0:23
a task that Drick has found himself with, and
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I don't want to teach a cat. how to do just about
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anything. Cats are very stubborn. Really anything
0:33
computer related with cats seems like a total
0:35
nightmare. Yes. I can't imagine trying to teach
0:38
a cat how to use a computer, even if it is sentient.
0:41
And I love how Matt has just done such a good
0:45
job of capturing the essence of cats. He really
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has. So everyone's heading out to head to the
0:52
home base, the castle and Brittany. stays behind
0:56
for lessons on the city defense systems and she's
1:00
going to help Juicebox out. And I find it interesting
1:03
how she just kind of naturally falls into this
1:06
role as kind of helping the NPCs and being the
1:09
liaison between the NPCs and the princess posse.
1:14
It just kind of like naturally happens. Like
1:16
nobody says, hey, Brittany, like this is your
1:18
task. This is your role. I mean, sometimes people
1:21
just gel. So it might have been that way between
1:23
her and Juicebox. Yeah. They just vibed. Yeah.
1:26
Just vibing. Carl and Donut need to get over
1:30
to the castle and they don't have the doggy door
1:33
in their safe room yet. So they have to go over
1:36
into Team Metalog's rooms to use their doggy
1:39
door. And like, I just don't understand why they
1:42
haven't installed the doggy door in their room
1:44
yet. Like in their base. Completely understand
1:46
that. I think that they would just have to press
1:49
a button on the menu to install the doggy door.
1:52
But I also think from a writing perspective,
1:55
there has been a lot of group scenes where everyone
1:58
is participating in conversations. And I think
2:01
that Matt wanted to scale this down to just being
2:04
a conversation between Carl and Donut. And it
2:06
would definitely be difficult, I guess, for them
2:09
to be like, oh, hey, guys, hold on. We're going
2:11
to go over here and talk. Just give us a minute.
2:14
That's just not the kind of natural vibe of how
2:16
these books go. Like people just find themselves
2:18
in the right circumstance to have private conversations
2:21
a lot of the time. Yeah, definitely. So there
2:24
is a cute scene here where Rend is writing on
2:27
top of Mongo. And this is just going to keep
2:30
happening until Rend gets too big for such things
2:32
to happen. And Mongo starts writing Rend, right?
2:35
Yeah, that's totally what happens. I mean, they
2:37
do absolutely keep this cute, playful dynamic
2:40
between the two of them. You don't get to see
2:43
it so much through a lot of this book, but that
2:46
relationship definitely just gets stronger over
2:49
time. They form a really, really good bond. Yeah,
2:51
definitely. Donut says she thinks it's really
2:53
sad that Louie and Juicebox have to separate
2:56
right away and says that she hopes that they
3:01
can find time for a honeymoon. Where would their
3:04
honeymoon be to? That's kind of a odd thing to
3:07
think about. Either the Desperado Club or there
3:10
are a lot of nice places in the Rockos that I
3:13
think weren't destroyed too badly. But, you know,
3:16
maybe, I don't know, does the Faction Wars floor
3:18
have like a special like a spa part? Like, you
3:21
know, there's all these different quadrants.
3:23
Maybe there's one that's a quadrant just for
3:25
chilling. Honeymoons. We haven't heard about
3:28
that one yet. And they never do get this honeymoon,
3:31
though. Donut makes the comment that she... is
3:35
surprised that Juicebox let them have Shantytown
3:37
so easily. And it is actually a good deal for
3:41
everybody because Shantytown and the Rockos have
3:46
different city defense systems. And Carl basically
3:49
says that Shantytown would just be kind of a
3:52
liability for Juicebox to have to worry about
3:53
that too, because once the ceasefire ends, the
3:56
other factions are just going to be able to freely
3:58
enter Shantytown. So it's just basically like
4:01
more on her plate. Although it is also still
4:03
a lot on Carl's plate as well. Yeah, I think
4:06
it's a good deal all around, though. Yeah, it
4:08
is. We get this great quote from Donut where
4:11
she says, Still, I can't believe that stupid
4:15
cat gave it all away just for a temporary hat.
4:18
He's not even charmed anymore and it still worked.
4:21
We better get that hat back, Carl. Well, she
4:24
just said it's just a stupid hat, so why do you
4:27
need it back so badly, Donut? Mm -hmm. Also,
4:30
Donut wouldn't fall for a stupid hat. She will
4:33
fall for a stupid hat every day of the week.
4:35
She definitely will, and I feel like Carl should
4:38
use hats against Donut as leverage more and just
4:41
maybe sometimes be like, hey, Donut, if you do
4:45
what I ask, I'm going to give you a special hat.
4:47
I mean, he does try to treat Donut like an equal
4:50
and not be manipulative. Fair enough. Sometimes
4:54
I think he could throw in hats to sweeten the
4:56
deal. I feel like when she's getting her tattoo
4:58
later in the book, you know, maybe bribing her
5:00
with a hat would have been a good move at that
5:03
time. Always worth a try. The bowler hat they
5:05
gave to Ferdinand has the awesome boomerang skill
5:09
and Donut definitely wants to get that back.
5:12
And so she can throw her tiara. Although even
5:15
if that skill is like 100 % chance that it's
5:18
going to return to you, like I still wouldn't
5:20
trust that. It's one of the things you'd have
5:22
to practice a bunch of times until you felt comfortable
5:25
with it. But I can see where there could still
5:27
be some situations where like, what if a god
5:30
steps in front of it? Who knows? Right. Yeah.
5:33
Like I can't imagine that that boomerang skill
5:36
is so powerful that it's worth the risk of maybe
5:38
losing her tiara. Yeah, maybe. Maybe, but they
5:42
are going to drain the turban of the lightning
5:44
spell that it has. And Carl says that he's going
5:47
to run that by juice box first, just to make
5:48
sure that's not going to piss off Ferdinand too
5:50
much. But that lightning spell is very powerful.
5:54
I don't know if it had to do with how high of
5:57
a level Ferdinand was during the Butcher's Masquerade
6:00
floor, but he nearly kills Donut and Mongo in
6:04
one shot with that lightning spell. Yeah, it's
6:06
a good spell. Once again, Carl is... realizing
6:10
that he has a list of tasks set out before him
6:13
and he is just constantly getting overwhelmed
6:16
by everything that he has to do, which is definitely
6:19
understandable. A very important one is getting
6:22
Rind leveled up. That is a high priority because
6:25
if he doesn't get to level 5 and he dies before
6:27
that, he's not coming back. That would be devastating
6:30
emotionally, I think, even to Donut at this point.
6:33
Yeah, but I also think emotionally maybe he'd
6:36
be better prepared for things if he read his
6:38
notifications. He does keep dismissing notifications.
6:42
Seems like that might be leading up to something.
6:46
Speaking of notifications, Donut gets one right
6:49
now that says that her sponsorship is canceled
6:52
from the garbage truck people due to a conflict
6:55
of interest. Her calling them the garbage truck
6:59
people just kills me. It's really funny. Also
7:03
very endearing. She asks Carl, like, hey, what
7:07
did you do? And she blames Carl a lot whenever
7:10
anything goes awry, which I think is kind of
7:13
fair a lot of times. I think he does half the
7:16
stuff that she blames him for. Yeah, I think
7:18
a lot of times it is his fault. But this one,
7:21
I guess, arguably in some way is actually his
7:24
fault. Actually, somewhat is. It is kind of his
7:27
fault, but it's also like kind of Donut's fault,
7:29
too. I mean, it is the princess posse after all.
7:32
So kind of fair. Donut makes the note here that
7:35
she hopes that her new sponsor is going to be
7:38
someone more in line with her brand. The Verilux
7:40
toy company was a complete dud. Empress Denadia
7:44
definitely let her down and betrayed the fuck
7:46
out of her. So hopefully the next one will line
7:50
up better with her brand and is complementary
7:51
to the apothecary. Even if the apothecary does
7:56
sponsor half the dungeon. And it's interesting
7:58
here because Donut refers to the apothecary as
8:00
she. Do you find that interesting? Because I
8:03
would personally view them as more of a corporation.
8:06
Or a collective. But I'm wondering if the reason
8:09
that she says she is because of the woman at
8:13
CrawlerCon who talked to Carl. I definitely think
8:16
that would be the case. It is also like how fucking
8:19
rich is the apothecary that she can sponsor so
8:22
many. crawlers and presumably be giving people
8:25
good sponsor boxes as well like they would just
8:29
have to be extremely freaking wealthy and i i
8:33
mean a lot of the corporations that are sponsoring
8:35
crawlers are extremely wealthy but it's not for
8:38
them it's more of just a publicity thing most
8:40
of the time so spending like huge insane amounts
8:43
of money on like loot boxes for their crawlers
8:47
that they sponsor isn't that advantageous whereas
8:50
the apothecary is working with support this and
8:53
with kind of behind the scenes of everything
8:55
that's going on so like they have more of a vested
8:58
interest in making sure that like all the crawlers
9:01
are getting good loot and all of that yeah definitely
9:04
just like that everything changed and for the
9:09
readers too so can you just talk a little bit
9:11
about how you felt when you read this part the
9:13
first time how I felt when I read this the first
9:16
time how I feel Every time I've listened or read
9:20
this chapter, how I feel right now, it just fills
9:25
me with such overwhelming emotion. It gives me
9:30
such joy and such hope for the crawlers and their
9:37
cause. It brings tears to my eyes every time,
9:42
even literally right now. I just love this part.
9:47
So freaking much. Yeah, I was really excited
9:49
when this happened. I felt like it was a total
9:51
game changer. Yeah. Because I was so excited
9:55
that we could bring in some more of the stuff
9:58
happening in the universe, which is my favorite
10:00
part, by bringing in people from outside the
10:02
dungeon. Yeah, truly. And, like, even though
10:06
I knew, like, kind of that this was going to
10:09
happen because of the, you know, little, like...
10:11
tidbits and teasers that we got about it, it
10:14
was still just such a freaking shock. Also, I
10:18
wouldn't stop dropping mad hints because I was
10:19
so excited about it. Yeah, definitely. So when
10:22
Carl enters the personal space, Imani, Florin,
10:26
and Mistress Teatha were there, and they weren't
10:29
alone. And as Carl comes in, he stops dead and
10:33
stares at the two Crest there. Crest, by the
10:37
way, are a humanoid race. They... Do not appear
10:41
to have eyebrows or hair. So they're a little
10:44
funny looking. I think Donut said they look like
10:46
a stupid french fry in an earlier book. I don't
10:49
even care if that's true or not. No need to fact
10:52
check that. So Rosetta is the first one for Carl
10:58
to examine. I'll read that here. Rosetta Thag.
11:01
Crest Barnburner. Level 60. Colonel in the Princess
11:05
Posse. This is a subordinate. Author. of the
11:09
seventh edition of the Dungeon Anarchist Cookbook.
11:13
I just want to note here that I think Nikki would
11:15
read this entire chapter out loud if I left them,
11:18
and I had to severely be like, no, that's too
11:22
much to read. No, we've read too many things
11:24
this chapter. No, that's too much. There's so
11:28
many good parts, and yeah, I would definitely
11:31
read the majority of the rest of this chapter.
11:35
But I don't think that that's really adding much
11:37
value to our podcast. If we were going to do
11:38
that, we would just insert a recording of, you
11:41
know, the actual audio book and Jeff Hayes doing
11:43
it. But I don't know how entertaining that would
11:46
actually be or the value add, I suppose. Just
11:49
go listen to it again right now and then come
11:50
back and listen to this episode. Yeah. And add
11:53
your own fangirling in the comments. Oh, my God.
11:56
Oh, my gosh. It does say that Pippid had a scar
12:01
running over his bald head from temple to temple
12:04
that made him look like he'd been literally scalped.
12:07
And I think that was involved and why he needed
12:09
surgery. Yes. Well, I think that's a result of
12:12
the like those other resulting scars from his
12:14
surgery. And I guess probably the prior injuries.
12:17
I'm kind of surprised they can't fix some scarring
12:20
out there in the big bad galaxy. But if he didn't
12:23
have full citizenship rights, I guess that would
12:25
make sense. Maybe he didn't want that. I mean,
12:27
the scars that people carry with them is a huge
12:31
theme in this book. And so it does make sense
12:34
sometimes to want to have a literal representation
12:38
that other people can see. Sometimes you don't
12:41
want the scars to just be on the inside. That's
12:43
true. That is absolutely true. Some people have
12:45
pride in the scars that they have. I mean, I
12:49
know a lot of people do. I have some pretty cool
12:50
scars that maybe don't have a lot of significant
12:52
meaning behind them, but I do enjoy them and
12:55
have some pride in how I got them. Even if some
12:58
of them were kind of stupid. It's because you
12:59
have a badass rock climbing scar. Just say that.
13:01
I do. I was also bit by a dog once and it looks
13:04
like a pair of angry eyes. So that one's fun
13:07
too. Speaking of appearances. But it says Rosetta
13:10
looks young and vibrant like she'd never worked
13:13
a day in her life. Although Carl does mention
13:16
that he knows that that is not true. And she
13:20
also has a glowing tattoo that covers most of
13:22
her body. And I don't think we ever found out
13:25
why it glowed. And I'm sad about that. because
13:27
why not? Doesn't everyone just have glowing tattoos
13:30
then? Well, yeah, and he said that she had it
13:33
when they met her on the Shadow Boxer television
13:35
show, and it wasn't glowing then, but maybe it's
13:37
something to do with her class, Barnburner. But
13:40
he also says here that Tippid looks like he had
13:44
spent a long life of hard labor under the sun.
13:47
His skin was kind of worn and leathery looking.
13:53
Yeah, and these descriptions go on for a while.
13:55
And I think that they do add a lot to the world
13:59
building. And these are important characters
14:01
where you need the descriptions in your head.
14:04
But there's maybe about two pages of descriptions
14:06
here that we don't need to go into. I think it's
14:08
just establishing that they actually do kind
14:11
of look normal, I suppose. And Carl is examining
14:15
it and kind of giving us a description of what
14:18
he looks like before. We actually know that this
14:21
is Tiffid. And when Carl realizes who it is,
14:26
he says, I felt myself stagger when I read his
14:30
name, like I'd been physically pushed. And he
14:33
almost falls out of the room and almost falls
14:37
through a door. Donut jumps off of his shoulder
14:39
and jumps onto Mongo, knocks Rend off of Mongo's
14:42
back. So he is just shocked to his core. At this
14:48
moment, when he finds out this is Tippett and
14:50
he asks how and like his legs are shaking. And
14:55
then he meets eyes with Tippett and asks, are
14:59
there more? So Carl is extremely emotional. And
15:03
he says, are there more? And really what he's
15:06
asking about is cookbook authors. We continue
15:10
to find out their statuses throughout the books.
15:12
But Tippett says, a few more. Not a lot of us
15:16
available, unfortunately, which is referencing
15:21
the fact that a lot of them are dead or being
15:23
hunted by the syndicate. But Florin doesn't know
15:26
he's talking about cookbook authors. And so Florin
15:29
says, if just over 50 ,000 former crawlers count
15:32
as a few, then yeah, mate, it's just a few. Just
15:35
a handful. We do find out that compared to what
15:39
the other armies have, that it's still a kind
15:42
of small number, but... All in all, we do know
15:46
that the crawlers at this point kind of do have
15:49
the upper hand. Carl was planning on having basically
15:51
no mercenaries. And to be honest, his plan before
15:55
this is kind of insane because he just did not
15:58
have enough people. So he's majorly getting his
16:02
butt taped here. Yeah, no, like if this didn't
16:05
happen, I really don't think that they would
16:07
have stood any chance at winning Faction Wars,
16:11
especially during the ramp up. right after the
16:14
ceasefire because they can't use any of their
16:17
offensive spells. And so they basically have
16:20
nothing to combat with the other armies having
16:23
pulse rifles and tanks and machine guns and all
16:27
of their outside dungeon tech. So really, good
16:29
writing, Matt, because they would have been fucked
16:32
otherwise. Yeah, and Tepid is very emotional
16:35
too. And he says, I don't know if it'll be enough,
16:37
brother, but we're here. We've been watching
16:40
and we couldn't watch anymore. We're here. And
16:43
he had hugged Carl when he said that. And Donut's
16:46
like, very touchy -feely, these crests. Which
16:49
that kind of comes up a couple more times. The
16:52
emotion during all of this is just overwhelming.
16:58
Well, and before this, Carl has kept the mask
17:01
on pretty tight and he hasn't really shown much
17:04
emotion about anything. But Florin and Donut
17:08
just basically get to watch him lose his shit
17:11
here. Yeah, like he's almost like breaking down
17:14
and like crying. Not quite. That does happen
17:17
later with milk. But yeah, from like the outside
17:20
looking in, Lauren and Donut are just kind of
17:23
like, what the fuck is happening? And now Carl
17:25
and Rosetta get to have their first conversation.
17:29
And this is one of my like top 10 quotes from
17:31
the series. So Rosetta goes up to him and says,
17:35
this isn't an attack. This is a self -correcting
17:38
measure given in the spirit of. camaraderie,
17:42
okay? And then she smacks him. Smacks him right
17:45
in the head. And it wasn't very hard, but it
17:49
hurt. And Carl's like, what the hell did you
17:52
do that for? Yeah, she's disappointed in him
17:55
for never quite figuring out what the hell to
17:58
do with the twirling. There's been some great
18:00
conversations that we've seen prior to this of
18:04
Rosetta talking to Porthos and being like, are
18:07
you sure this guy's good? He can't even figure
18:11
out what that potato is for. Yeah, look, potatoes
18:13
are difficult, okay? They're very hardy. Donut's
18:16
kind of like, uh, guys, I'm here too. It's my
18:19
army. And obviously, Donut wants to be the center
18:23
of attention at all times, as is true of all
18:26
cats. And Tepid gives her a nice pat on the head
18:29
and says it's very nice to meet her. And I love
18:32
that, you know, a lot of characters in the books
18:35
just kind of like... understand how to interact
18:38
with Donut as a cat giving her head pats or giving
18:41
her scritches or things like that you know you're
18:44
not going to do that with another crawler you're
18:45
not going to walk up to like Katya and like rub
18:48
your hands through her hair right well I think
18:51
they've been watching it on the show so yeah
18:53
definitely but like all the a lot of the other
18:55
crawlers do it too speaking of this must be very
18:58
interesting for the audience in what way so basically
19:03
The audience doesn't know why Tippett and Rosetta
19:06
are there, just the same as Florin and Donut,
19:08
don't know. I mean, that's definitely true. Most
19:10
cookbook authors, like people, even after their
19:13
crawl, people don't know that they are cookbook
19:16
authors, even though they can talk about it once
19:18
their crawl is over. I would presume that they're
19:22
going to keep that pretty close to the chest
19:24
and not just go around talking about it, even
19:26
if there was no repercussions that could happen
19:29
to them because of that. Well, I think it's because
19:32
they feel like it's almost like a secret society.
19:35
Yeah, it absolutely is. And I do wonder how they
19:38
find each other. I mean, we do talk about in
19:41
Dante's chapter that, you know, to anyone who's
19:44
had the cookbook, it's obvious that someone else
19:46
has had it. So, you know, with Dr. Porthis who
19:49
having the crawler project, you know, obviously
19:52
that's going to bring former crawlers together
19:53
to meet each other. So they would have that kind
19:57
of. Yeah, I think they have a need to go looking
19:58
for each other. So Rosetta also asks Carl if
20:02
he's... Not ask. Well, Rosetta demands to know
20:05
if Carl still has the credit chip, which, hmm,
20:08
wonder why they need that. And also says that
20:13
she needs four million gold, which that's always
20:16
going to be very upsetting to Donut. Yeah. And
20:19
she tells him to give her the Toraline and the
20:21
leftover ink that she Maria made. And this is
20:24
going to be used a few times throughout the rest
20:27
of this book. They use it to... do tattoos on
20:30
people so they can borrow bells from other crawlers.
20:33
So it is very important, but I don't know why
20:37
she needs four million gold exactly. I know that
20:40
she needs to buy some ingredients for potions
20:43
that they're going to make because there's not
20:45
enough of the Toraline left. That's a lot of
20:49
gold. I mean, not really at this point because
20:50
everything has gotten more expensive, but I think
20:54
she needs it for potion making. materials and
20:58
I think that she also knows that she's about
21:00
to have billions of dollars so that she can get
21:04
them back on that. Yeah but the outside dungeon
21:07
money that she ends up stealing can't be used
21:09
inside the dungeon as far as we're aware. I think
21:12
there would be some loopholes there like maybe
21:14
they're sending some crypto into the dungeon.
21:17
I mean either way they still fuck over the Skull
21:19
Empire so it's worthwhile to yeah steal all of
21:23
their money. Rosetta basically gives a list of
21:27
demands. She needs access to their safe room,
21:29
to his bomber studio, and then tells Donut that
21:35
she can't wander off. We have some purchases
21:37
to make and I need your charm to get the best
21:39
price. Donut kind of ponders and stops for a
21:42
moment like she was about to say something. And
21:45
then Rosetta adds, if that's okay with you, Warlord,
21:49
you have the highest charm of all of us. And
21:51
that definitely nullifies Donut, so she goes
21:54
along with this. Well, it also says, and this
21:58
is another great quote, this episode is heavy
22:00
on quoting from the book directly today, but
22:03
Donut appeared to weigh her response. She had
22:06
an unreadable expression as she glanced back
22:09
and forth between me and Rosetta. She turned
22:12
to look at Tippett as if she was contemplating
22:14
something. She turned her attention back to me.
22:18
Her eyes focusing on my own, which were still
22:20
wet with tears and says, I suppose that will
22:23
be acceptable. So I think this is like when she
22:26
stops and processes and tries to figure out what's
22:30
going on and decides that she trusts Carl and
22:34
that there is something obviously going on here
22:36
and that she's going to go with it even if she
22:40
doesn't understand. Yeah, absolutely. And to
22:43
go back. like a couple pages, Florin says, mate,
22:47
you know these people already? They're acting
22:49
pretty familiar. And Carl just gives him a very
22:52
slight nod of his head and Florin drops it immediately.
22:55
So people have a pretty high level of trust of
22:58
Carl and know that even if they don't understand
23:01
what's happening sometimes, that they just kind
23:03
of need to go along with it. And overall, I would
23:06
say he's earned that trust, even though he does
23:08
completely go off the rails sometimes. Well,
23:11
I don't even think it's just trust. I think that
23:13
there is obviously something going on here that
23:16
they don't understand and that they understand
23:19
that there must be a good reason why it's not
23:21
being explained to them. Yeah, definitely. We
23:23
go into the next part of this chapter. Carl asks,
23:27
like, wait, hold on. What the hell is going on?
23:30
Like, there's 50 ,000 of you. Like, how did you
23:33
get here? And Tippett is like, all right, sit
23:36
down. I got a short story to tell you. And apparently
23:38
this story took almost an hour. And I wish that
23:41
we got more of it here. They kind of skip a good
23:44
bit of it. There is a lot of info dump here,
23:46
though. Yeah, this is definitely like the biggest
23:48
info dump that we've gotten in this book so far,
23:51
excluding the Polly chapter at the very beginning.
23:54
And it's a bit dense and a bit complicated, but
23:57
definitely very good information to go through.
24:01
Tippett tells Carl the story of the surgery that
24:04
he had to get to keep himself alive and that
24:07
it put him in a bunch of debt. Porthas formed
24:10
the Crawler Project, which was able to help him
24:12
out, get him back on his feet. And Carl does
24:15
ask if Porthas is here. Unfortunately, he's not.
24:19
Yeah, they had to scatter when they got declared
24:21
a terrorist organization. Yeah. But the people
24:24
who are in -game are currently untouchable. And
24:27
part of what Porthas did wasn't just helping
24:30
Tippett himself, but also he... pushed to change
24:35
the system so that there were more protections
24:38
and more of a social safety net for former crawlers.
24:42
What do you mean that they're untouchable in
24:44
game? Meaning that the syndicate can't get to
24:47
Tippett and Rosetta or any of the other former
24:50
crawlers while they are in the dungeon. Right,
24:53
yeah. And Rosetta's like, I hope they try because
24:56
that's going to piss off the AI. So basically...
25:00
Obviously, they can die. They got a lot of danger
25:02
ahead of them, but nobody can do anything now
25:04
that they're in the game. They keep talking about
25:07
basically how much, you know, reform Porthas
25:10
has done to help former crawlers after they leave
25:13
the dungeon. But Mrs. Teatha has some pretty
25:16
fair criticisms of this. And she says, that citizenship
25:21
perk is only for new crawlers. Us old guard are
25:24
going to get extra fucked when we're released.
25:27
They tell us we'll be full citizens, but I don't
25:29
believe it. The rich folk sure like getting their
25:31
faces up on the screen when they're donating
25:33
to some charity, but the moment a scruffy former
25:36
crawler shows up in their home system looking
25:38
to settle down, they'll fight like hell to prevent
25:40
it. Mark my words. Which, funny enough, as we
25:44
are recording this, the Dungeon Crawler Carl
25:46
subreddit is tearing itself apart, arguing over
25:50
whether it's okay to discuss. current political
25:54
implications of Dungeon Crawler Carl. And that
25:58
quote right there, it's some pretty clear commentary
26:01
on things that are going on in our society. There's
26:05
commentary about the real world hidden in these
26:07
books? No, they're just silly popcorn books.
26:10
So Porthis did form two different organizations,
26:14
the Crawler Project, which helps support former
26:17
crawlers after they leave the dungeon. And then
26:19
he also formed... the Open Intellect Pacifist
26:22
Network, which is focused on ending the crawl
26:25
and does not get nearly as much support as the
26:28
Crawler Project does. Yeah, that makes sense.
26:30
And I'm sure the Crawler Project has some pretty
26:33
big faces like Odette that have stumped for it.
26:35
Yeah, definitely. And I mean, I think that it
26:38
shows that people want to give support to former
26:41
crawlers, but overwhelmingly, it's easier to
26:44
say, oh, let's help these people. Oh, they've
26:47
been hurt. You know, let's help them out. But
26:49
the larger goal of ending this part of the machine
26:54
doesn't get nearly as much support. Why? Because
26:57
it's entertaining. Yeah, people want bread and
26:59
circuses. Bread and circuses? Bread and circuses
27:02
is a very old saying. It's actually from the
27:06
Roman Empire, where basically what the Caesars
27:10
of the Old Republic would say, that as long as
27:14
you give the people bread and circuses, then
27:16
you can... treat them however you want is kind
27:19
of the vibe. Yeah, your stomach is full and you've
27:22
got entertainment. What else do you need? It
27:25
doesn't matter that you don't have good living
27:28
conditions or equality in any regard. Maybe this
27:32
episode is getting too political, which we are
27:35
recording this on January 25th of 2026, which
27:39
I'm sure some people will be able to look at
27:42
that date and know what's going on in the background.
27:45
Yes. But Tippett goes on to explain that the
27:48
Polly incident with sending Carl to the homeless
27:52
shelter is one of several actions that caused
27:55
the authorities to crack down on the Open Intellect
27:58
Pacifist Network. And this is where we find out
28:02
that Tippett worked for the Long Haul Biological
28:06
Waste Management System, which is who sponsored
28:08
Donut. That's why she lost her sponsorship because
28:11
of the conflict of interest. So Porthas suggested
28:14
refurbishing the garbage ship, putting out the
28:18
call for crawlers, and they were overwhelmed
28:21
with people who wanted to go back into the dungeon.
28:24
I think the overwhelming theme of this book is
28:28
that there is some trauma that you never get
28:30
over. Especially when you don't seem to have
28:32
therapists out there in the universe. Nope. No
28:34
therapy doesn't exist here. And I think it's
28:38
interesting. So there's obviously a lot that
28:40
had to happen for... like this plan to come together,
28:45
refurbishing a garbage ship into something that
28:49
they could put people on, this call that was
28:51
put out for crawlers. This definitely happened
28:54
during this season. Fascinating. I don't know
28:58
how they were able to pull that together so fast.
29:01
I mean, obviously, you know, Porthos slash the
29:05
Open Intellect Pacifist Network, they are working
29:08
with the Apothecary, and the Apothecary seems
29:11
to have... endless amounts of money. So with
29:14
endless amounts of money and super advanced technology,
29:17
like I can see how they would be able to kind
29:19
of pull all this together in a pretty short amount
29:21
of time. Well, I guess the tunnels just must
29:24
be able to allow them to fast travel around the
29:27
universe. Yeah, they can definitely travel very
29:29
quickly. And I guess it would also stand to reason
29:32
that a lot of former crawlers get citizenship
29:35
in the inner system, which is where you have
29:38
the most ability to travel around quickly. So,
29:41
yeah, it's still impressive that they were able
29:43
to put all this together in such a short amount
29:44
of time. You know, I would imagine that they
29:47
put out the call for former crawlers once they
29:49
found out that Princess Posse was going to have
29:51
a spot in Faction Wars. So what, towards the
29:54
at the end of the sixth floor? Yeah. And the
29:57
rest of this chapter is going to go over the
30:01
deal that they made to come into the dungeon.
30:04
And this is with the AI. Yeah. And this is a
30:08
little. A lot heavy, so bear with us. It's a
30:11
little complicated. All right, so Carl asked
30:14
Tippett basically, like, how did you actually
30:16
get into the dungeon? Like, I see you're all
30:18
level 60. What's the deal? What's going on? And
30:22
basically, Tippett explains that they were able
30:25
to check into the dungeon as mercenaries. They
30:28
came in with the standard Merc package. They
30:30
were at level 60, but they were able to choose
30:33
their race and class. Basically, Carl's like,
30:37
well, do you guys have any gear? Do you have
30:39
any weapons? And Tippett says, nope, what you
30:42
see is what you get. But some of our classes
30:44
came with weapons. But hey, all of us are at
30:50
least tenors. We all survived faction wars at
30:53
least once. We have winners of landlores, battle
30:56
royale, like top tier people you got here getting
31:01
added to your army. And also what we see with
31:03
Rosetta, they also have knowledge of... who the
31:07
other armies are, and they have a lot more information
31:11
about their weaknesses and things like that than,
31:16
like, Carl knows. Right, yeah, basically, like,
31:19
if it's saying, like, we all have the knowledge,
31:21
like, we have the knowledge in our heads. Like,
31:24
some of these crawlers have been alive for hundreds,
31:26
over a thousand years, so, like, they've had
31:29
the ability to study the crawl and see what's
31:32
happened with the crawl. for a very, very long
31:35
time and have a lot of exposure to these various
31:37
systems of government. So it's extremely valuable
31:40
knowledge to have at your disposal. Yeah, and
31:44
Carl is a little discouraged to learn that they
31:47
didn't come with more gear and that they are
31:50
going to be underpowered compared to the other
31:53
teams. But they were going to be much more underpowered
31:56
before this happened, so. Right. Tipid explains
31:59
to Carl that, you know, all the other armies
32:01
got an influx of 20 ,000 battle -ready soldiers
32:05
and they were allowed to bring in their gear
32:09
and weapons and such and then they'll be able
32:10
to get whatever they can find in the dungeon.
32:12
And Carl's like, I don't know, that seems like
32:14
maybe they are a bit stronger than you guys are.
32:17
Well, before this, they had nothing. They had
32:21
no mercenaries. I mean, they had the slugalos
32:24
and they had the strippers. Those were their
32:26
mercenaries. Oh, gosh. Right. But Tiffin kind
32:29
of makes the joke here that he would take his
32:32
murder tornado over a pulse rifle any day. And
32:36
I would agree with that. I'd like to have a murder
32:39
tornado over a cool pulse rifle. Well, especially
32:41
since Carl had no way to get any mercenaries
32:44
before this with or without fear. Right, exactly.
32:48
I mean, they could conscript people, potentially,
32:50
but that's kind of... I mean, they do end up
32:52
doing that, but they would be in a much more
32:54
difficult position to even have the ability to
32:57
win against some of these armies in the first
33:00
week to be able to conscript their soldiers and
33:02
mercs into their own army. Well, and I think
33:04
they definitely conscripted less than the other
33:06
armies because we see that they have a vast reluctance
33:11
to conscript people, both for moral reasons and...
33:16
they don't know how much they can really trust
33:17
them. Yeah, I mean, I don't think Carl has much
33:20
moral dilemmas about it. I don't think that's
33:23
true from some of the things we see later. Yeah,
33:26
I mean, I guess there is a little bit, but there
33:28
is also some of the, hey, if they're from outside
33:32
of the dungeon, go ahead and conscript them,
33:35
set them aside. But if there are some of the
33:36
people who came in with the armies or they're
33:39
higher up people from the other factions, just
33:43
execute them right away. Like, so, yeah, there's
33:48
definitely some moral differences and decisions
33:52
that are made in this regard. I do just find
33:55
it interesting, though, that basically the former
33:58
crawlers were able to come into the dungeon as,
34:01
I guess, voluntary mercenaries. And that's why
34:03
they were allowed to come in. But they were able
34:06
to negotiate with the AI. They made this deal
34:10
with the AI to be able to choose their classes
34:12
and choose their race. I wonder why. It's weird
34:18
to me that the AI has that much power and the
34:20
syndicate doesn't have any say over this. That's
34:23
weird to me. Yeah, well, I mean, again, I think
34:26
it's the AI wants things to keep running in accordance
34:29
with the rules as much as possible. But the other
34:32
mercenaries that came in, well, they negotiated
34:35
a different deal with the AI, basically. But
34:37
I guess it seems interesting that they're able
34:40
to do this. I think the deal is historically
34:43
more what has been allowed for mercenaries. Like
34:46
there is some framework there. Yeah, definitely.
34:48
But typically, I guess once Faction Wars floor
34:53
opens up at the end of, what is it, the second
34:56
floor is when the Faction Wars floor opens up
34:59
and the armies can start prepping and stuff.
35:02
They already have all their people in. They're
35:04
not bringing in more people between the end of
35:06
the second floor and the beginning, the actual
35:09
start of Faction Wars when the crawlers get to
35:11
the ninth floor. There are definitely limits
35:13
normally, but obviously this is not a normal
35:15
season of Faction Wars, you know, with the addition
35:18
of a crawler team, with the addition of an NPC
35:21
team. So there is definitely a lot of, I guess,
35:24
exceptions that kind of have to be made here.
35:28
which would explain why the former crawlers are
35:30
able to negotiate that deal because outside mercs
35:34
coming in, I guess to them, it just doesn't make
35:37
sense to be like, yeah, I'll choose a class.
35:39
I'll choose a race because they think like, oh,
35:40
I've got these pulse rifles. I've got this tech
35:43
armor. Like that's way better than what these
35:45
crawlers have with their spells and all that.
35:47
I think that's the way they've seen action wars
35:50
typically play out. Right. this year with the
35:55
crawlers and the NPCs having their own team is
35:57
going to be different than anything they've seen
35:59
before. Yeah, definitely. Well, in previous seasons
36:02
of Faction Wars, you know, there's not this many
36:04
crawlers left. There's not a crawler team having
36:08
their own army. So with their pulse rifles and
36:11
outside dungeon tech, it would be fairly easy
36:14
to overwhelm them just with their sheer numbers.
36:17
The crawlers are usually just, oh, they're here
36:20
and they get... used as pawns by the other factions.
36:24
They're not an actual risk to the factions in
36:27
any way. Yeah, absolutely. So I think that they
36:30
haven't changed their mindset. And I think that
36:32
there are people who would be unlikely or unable
36:35
to change their mindset. Right. I mean, as has
36:39
been stated many times throughout the books,
36:41
faction wars is really just a playground for
36:45
rich assholes to swing their dicks around and
36:47
see who has the biggest one. Yeah, and Carl is
36:50
definitely messing that up for them. He is ruining,
36:54
ruining it. After that digression, Tipid does
36:58
make the comment that like, hey, things are going
37:01
to be really rough this first week during the
37:03
ramp up because we're not going to be able to
37:05
use our offensive spells. So we're going to be
37:08
dealing with those pulse rifles while we don't
37:10
have any offensive spells of our own. Tipid does
37:12
keep the optimism high, though, and he's like,
37:15
just wait until you can see what my friend Justice
37:17
Light can do. Super exciting. It will maybe take
37:20
a while to understand what Justice Light can
37:23
do, but it is impressive. It certainly is. Before
37:27
we wrap up today's episode, we are announcing
37:29
the details of the Crawler Fanbox giveaway. We're
37:33
giving away three Dungeon Crawler Carl items,
37:36
one of the Princess Donut t -shirts we made.
37:40
You get to pick the size and color. There's a
37:43
link to our Etsy store in the description of
37:45
this episode. Two of those official keychains
37:49
that came out just last week that have been selling
37:52
out everywhere. And those have been causing quite
37:55
an uproar in the Facebook groups, right? They
37:58
have. And I just want to clarify that we bought
38:01
three. That seemed like a reasonable number to
38:04
us. And basically, I kept my princess donut and
38:07
then we're putting the R2 in the giveaway. Yeah,
38:10
it's really exciting. They're very fun. And then
38:13
everyone who enters will receive one of our brand
38:16
new Apocalypse Will Be Podcasted Princess Donut
38:18
stickers. So again, one t -shirt, two keychains,
38:23
and everyone gets a sticker. Entering is really
38:26
simple and it helps the podcast grow at the same
38:29
time. So just leave us a review on either Apple
38:32
Podcasts or Spotify. If you're on Spotify, you'll
38:35
have to open up the individual episode page to
38:37
leave the review. And you'll need to leave the
38:40
review for the episode aired on March 15th. And
38:43
there is only one entry per person, either Spotify
38:46
or Apple Podcasts, but leaving a review on both
38:50
will win you a special place in our hearts forever.
38:54
Once you've done that, take a screenshot and
38:57
send it to us. You can email it to pawbpodcasted
39:03
at gmail .com. message our Facebook page, or
39:06
send it to us on Instagram. And if you've already
39:09
left us a review in the past, no worries. Just
39:11
screenshot it and send it in. And we're going
39:14
to use a numbers randomizer to pick who wins.
39:18
So entries will close at 10 p .m. Eastern Standard
39:22
Time on Saturday, March 28th. There will be three
39:26
winners. One winner gets a t -shirt. Two winners
39:29
will receive one keychain. Everyone gets a sticker.
39:33
So multiple winners for the sticker. Reviews
39:36
really help other Dungeon Crawler Carl fans find
39:38
the show. So we really appreciate everyone who
39:41
participates. We are going down to Megacon to
39:44
try to meet as many Donut and Carls as possible.
39:46
And we will be dressed up as DCC characters or
39:50
have DCC shirts all weekend. So if you're going
39:53
to Megacon, please look out for us and come say
39:55
hello. Can't wait to hopefully meet some of you
39:58
guys there. It's going to be super exciting.
40:00
Never been to Megacon before, so really looking
40:02
forward to it. Thanks so much for listening today,
40:05
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40:11
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