Latest / No Latency / NL: SideQuest - Glitchmas Greed - Pt1 Unhappy Company
Transcript
- 0:00This year on no latency side quest glitch miss greed retro
- 0:04make some new seasonal friends I.
- 0:05Know you from somewhere? Special guest from the podcast
- 0:07Dungeons and Randomness. I'm neon pass by the way.
- 0:10Ian Duncan and Jason Massey. Bloomin, is it OK if I take
- 0:14pictures of literally everything?
- 0:16And two Ryan's. I'm Cargill Forge.
- 0:19Vex. So how long is this going to
- 0:20take? Retro is just trying to make a
- 0:22little extra money this season. Be haunted by that for the rest
- 0:24of his life. Well, no, but that's the goal.
- 0:26We need to shoot him because. This year, it isn't just a game.
- 0:28What are they putting in this this game?
- 0:30Also seen symptoms of rage, violence and inhumanity.
- 0:33A high score isn't the only thing they've got to lose.
- 0:35Sweetheart, lead and. Messy tomb, it was looking
- 0:38great. Retro's got to save Christmas
- 0:39again, hey? Neon, you still want those
- 0:41recommendations for mod? Cover me, I got to get this
- 0:44fixed. Are they going to let you walk?
- 0:46Out of here. Can you pick that up and shoot
- 0:47them already? Shall we begin?
- 1:00I'm about keep it down back there.
- 1:04Oh, hold on. Gotta wait.
- 1:06One ring. You can't let them know you're
- 1:08too, you know, excited about it. Third one.
- 1:12Ahoy Ahoy. This is retro.
- 1:15Hello. Neon, that's you.
- 1:19Oh. Oh hey man, how's it going weird
- 1:25to like talk on the actual phone?
- 1:27That's kind of crazy, right? Yeah.
- 1:32I mean, yeah, we've usually just been chatting with each other
- 1:36during streams on the garden. Yeah.
- 1:38I mean, I'm glad you finally decided to give me a call.
- 1:40What's up? Yeah.
- 1:42Are you, are you around? We were going to meet up and I
- 1:47just kind of thought that you'd come down here.
- 1:50You can meet me on the corner. I've got a really cool a
- 1:56prospect for you. I've been trying to like, get
- 2:00into merch and stuff, you know, you know.
- 2:03Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
- 2:04And, and so I'm I heard about this prospect, there's like some
- 2:10market research stuff for a toy. It pays really well, though,
- 2:15about 400 eddies. I'm not sure exactly what we
- 2:19ought to do, but I'm thinking like, hey, toy, like getting
- 2:22good with who's ever making it, like make some figurines out of
- 2:26me neon pass out of you retro. We could sell.
- 2:30We could sell these on our patch.
- 2:32You know, I think that would be really, really cool, man.
- 2:35That does sound pretty good. Hold on now, we get paid for.
- 2:40It. We get paid for it.
- 2:42You know what? I don't even check my schedule.
- 2:44I'm just going to throw my calendar behind me.
- 2:47Yeah, yeah, let's go. Yeah.
- 2:49Where where where are we going to meet at?
- 2:51I'll. Show you a pin man.
- 2:52Just just follow that. I'll be there all.
- 2:55Right, I'll just I'll just check that out for the garden.
- 2:58Cool. That cool.
- 3:00All right, Yeah. What the this is market?
- 3:05Is there a name for the market? Yeah.
- 3:08Cool. All right.
- 3:09Yeah, it just says it's just got.
- 3:10A sign that says market on it. Oh.
- 3:14Simple. Yeah.
- 3:15That's it. Yeah.
- 3:16That's all. That's all I know.
- 3:17It's like very, you know, like very low key.
- 3:21It's that kind of like minimalism.
- 3:22Simplistic, yeah. Exactly, man.
- 3:24Exactly. Probably.
- 3:25Probably got done by Bob and Hilda, that's for sure.
- 3:27Yeah, yeah, definitely. All right.
- 3:30Yeah, yeah. I'll head out in a minute.
- 3:32Cool. I'm so excited to meet you, man.
- 3:34This is going to be awesome. I'm.
- 3:36Super excited. What a what a collab.
- 3:39Cool, I'll see you then. See you then.
- 3:42All right, Retro. You look at the pin and it's
- 3:45like a three or four minute walk.
- 3:49As you look at the pin, you see that it's on Market Street, this
- 3:52place. It's on Market Street Place
- 3:55called Market on Market Street. Pretty good marketing, honestly.
- 3:59Well, I'm going to make sure before I go leave some feet out
- 4:03for Mama Mallard. You know, we're totally keto in
- 4:07our house. No bread.
- 4:08No bread and then I'm going to send a quick text to Jeb.
- 4:15No, not Jeb. Jeb wouldn't know what to do.
- 4:18I now I don't know what just delete it.
- 4:21VV. Hey VV going to meet somebody at
- 4:25I met online. I know what you're going to say.
- 4:28Don't say it. If I don't talk back in 48
- 4:33hours, delete my computer and I'm off.
- 4:41And you're off, and you head down the elevator, you walk down
- 4:43the street, and in just a few minutes you find yourself in the
- 4:47street on Market Street, staring at Neon Pass for the first time.
- 4:55Hey, Neon, what's up? Hey, you are you are much
- 5:03shorter than I thought you. Yeah, and handsome.
- 5:05Thank you. Yeah, very much, very much.
- 5:10Can I give a little description of neon POS real quick?
- 5:13Please. Sure.
- 5:15So neon POS is like a young man. He's got tech hair that's going
- 5:22kind of like green to blue. He's got like a septum piercing
- 5:26and like dark circles under his eyes.
- 5:29He's all dressed up in like Asia, Asia, pop kind of stuff,
- 5:35so very kind of bright colors. Got a jacket on and a backpack
- 5:43and it's just like full. Everything's got pins and
- 5:47buttons and things on it, and it's all of his little possum
- 5:52avatar that he has, you know, it's like all kinds of merch.
- 5:57So there's like patches and pins and and things coming off.
- 6:00He's got some of Retro too, 'cause obviously Retro is his
- 6:03buddy. And yeah, yeah, yeah, got some
- 6:06stuff. He's put it on there.
- 6:10Yeah. And yeah, it looks just like a
- 6:13it looks like just a little possum boy on this.
- 6:17Thing. Like I think cat boy, but possum
- 6:20boy and he's got, you know, he's got his gear on him.
- 6:25He's probably on his phone. Oh, hey, man, you made it.
- 6:28Oh, that's great. Oh, wow, wow, wow.
- 6:32The you're looking very CTV, you know what I'm saying?
- 6:37Oh yeah, old school very much. Luckily I don't need to have the
- 6:42old bulb in there anymore. Upgraded to LCD clock, clock
- 6:45clock. And there are three people in
- 6:49line behind you and they all watch retro cut and stand next
- 6:53to you. Hey man, I'm really enjoying the
- 6:55look that you got there. I I see you got your required
- 6:58minimum pieces of 37 flare on at all times.
- 7:02Thank you for the ones that you can see right?
- 7:05Oh, there's ones I can't see. Oh, OK, that'll be a.
- 7:08That'll be one to find later. Yeah, that's the, that's the AD
- 7:10stream. That's the AD stream.
- 7:15Well, oh man, I'm excited to see this.
- 7:17So how often? Excuse me?
- 7:20Sorry, you're kind of crowding me, Sir.
- 7:21Do you mind backing up just a little bit?
- 7:23Thank. You no all right TV head.
- 7:25You need to get to the back. Why?
- 7:27Oh. No, he's he's, he's with me.
- 7:30I was holding a place. He's just with me.
- 7:32Yeah, I was just holding this place for him.
- 7:34It's cool. It's cool man.
- 7:36All right, if we can't get in there, then it's on you.
- 7:38Sure. Yeah, I need that money.
- 7:43What, what? What money?
- 7:45You don't even know why you're here.
- 7:47The only reason to be in this line is to get some money.
- 7:50Well, yeah, I mean, I look, I like Eddie's just as much as
- 7:52everybody else does. And I'm here in the partnership
- 7:55with my buddy here, Neon, and we're kind of working together.
- 7:59So it's kind of like a partnership working together
- 8:01crossover. That's why we're, you know, it's
- 8:04not cutting in line. We're together selling
- 8:06ourselves, that kind of thing. I'm sure.
- 8:09That. Yeah, I'm sure there's going to
- 8:10be like, plenty to go around, my guy.
- 8:13You're coming in kind of hot, so, you know, maybe just like.
- 8:18Wait, you seem kind of familiar. Do I?
- 8:21Do I know you from somewhere? Nope, No you don't.
- 8:25I hate I Google search. I don't, I don't, I don't want
- 8:31to interrupt. I'm I'm real sorry, guys.
- 8:32Did did did you say we need a partner for this?
- 8:35Because I came alone. I I don't know if we needed
- 8:38someone to work with for this whole thing.
- 8:41No, yeah, I did too. I'm.
- 8:44I also need a partner apparently.
- 8:47Oh you? So both of you are missing
- 8:48partners and then. We.
- 8:51We. Familiar dude here also.
- 8:53Nothing in the ad says we need. I mean, apparently if we get a
- 8:57partner we get to cut in line so so.
- 8:59You all can partner up together. Yeah, it seems like you 2 could
- 9:03be partners and then familiar guy.
- 9:05I don't know. I'm I'm sorry.
- 9:07Oh no. They're their own little menage
- 9:09a trois together, you know, partnership and Eddie's.
- 9:11Yeah, yeah, something like that. Maybe, maybe do a threesome.
- 9:15Thumbs up. Cool.
- 9:18Hey, can I get a selfie of all of us?
- 9:21Let's. Do something.
- 9:21Let's do selfie, everybody. So he pulls out his his agent,
- 9:26bulbs it out, snaps a selfie and like it.
- 9:29It like automatically puts like his VR avatar on of the possum,
- 9:36possum on and just like takes a picture.
- 9:39Pause. I blinked during that 100%.
- 9:43Oh, you. Want me to do it?
- 9:44You want me to do one more? We can do one more here.
- 9:47OK. Oh, you, you blinked on this one
- 9:49too. Funny one.
- 9:50We got to do a funny one. Yeah, funny one.
- 9:52Let's do a funny one, everyone. Funny.
- 9:54One Yeah. Blink, Blinking's funny.
- 9:58Blinking can be funny. Blinking, Yeah.
- 10:03You lost to Google something, did you know?
- 10:05I did. I did roll.
- 10:07The D10 and then add four. Yeah, I just, I, I did roll AD
- 10:1410 and didn't add anything, but it was a 1, so I don't know.
- 10:20Oh, it implodes. It implodes.
- 10:23My intelligence is 6, so that is a -, 1.
- 10:30And that is no, because it's, it's +4 for local experts.
- 10:34So that's oh, oh. Yeah.
- 10:36So that's. You rolled a three, but it's
- 10:38still a crit fail. So because it's a crit fail as
- 10:41you're taking the picture, you watch the picture on your device
- 10:44degrade and get corrupted, and unfortunately while searching
- 10:48the garden, you did touch a bit of it you shouldn't have.
- 10:51Now your phone has a little bit of malware on it.
- 10:55Man God I hate this shit and. Then a little window pops up and
- 11:00you can pay 20 eddies to get rid of it.
- 11:04Oh, that's cheap. In this world, that's cheap.
- 11:07Yeah. Can I take a look at it?
- 11:09Do you mind? Yeah, sure.
- 11:12I slide it on safe mode real quick all.
- 11:17Conceal reveal object. Yeah, all the nudes are conceal,
- 11:21reveal object. OK, shot it got it.
- 11:24Concealer, reveal concealer reveal that is a healthy that's
- 11:29going to be what is that awareness?
- 11:31Yeah, that's a that's a healthy 0 for me.
- 11:33So let's go ahead and. Hold Yeah, you don't hide your
- 11:37nudes. In fact, the the unfortunate
- 11:41side effect of this is that the virus has put your nudes as the
- 11:45background of your lewds, not your nudes.
- 11:48Let's not be disgusting. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 11:49It's like it's. Like it's a lewd, it's it's a,
- 11:52it's a lewd of your of your avatar that made out.
- 11:56Fun. Just for fun, the the made out
- 11:59pit. Yeah, and.
- 11:59It's. Just super embarrassing.
- 12:02Oh, I thought it was just a bunch of pictures of ramen.
- 12:06There are I do have the ramen ones.
- 12:08I'm so sorry. Just just sorry I.
- 12:13Oh God, the thing already faked a bunch of pictures of you.
- 12:17I'm here. I'll get.
- 12:18Rid of this. That's it.
- 12:19Yeah, exactly. It's already out of control.
- 12:21I'm so thank you so much, man. Wow.
- 12:23No, it happens all the time. It it's fine.
- 12:27I have no idea what's a role to help with this, but I do
- 12:30probably. Whatever you're good at.
- 12:35Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm, I'm really good with small like
- 12:38gadgets. It's small tech, damn it.
- 12:40What is that under electronic? Security tech or basic tech, up
- 12:44to you. Basic, basic tech.
- 12:46Is that cool? Basic Tech 18 Yes.
- 12:51Yes. Yes.
- 12:52You look at this incredibly overly accoutrement human in
- 12:58front of you as they pass you the device.
- 12:59It's got stickers all over it. The logo as you pass it near
- 13:03your device, the NFC on it sends their link to your phone but
- 13:06doesn't give you a virus so that you can watch their streams on
- 13:09the garden later. An absolute king of social and
- 13:14networking. Their networking is incredible.
- 13:17I love the dot exists in this universe.
- 13:19Of course it does. Of course it does.
- 13:25And you look at them because it's not actually that
- 13:28difficult. And you find the control alt
- 13:31delete and you just close the browser and the ransomware that
- 13:34was running on their device has now been cleared and you hand it
- 13:37back. Again, happens all the time.
- 13:41Here you go. Oh my gosh, thank you so much.
- 13:44This that's amazing. Thanks man.
- 13:47Do hey, do you want to do you want to cut in front of us in
- 13:50line? That's totally cool If you want
- 13:52to, if you want to get in front of us, that's awesome, man.
- 13:55I'm I'm neon pass by the way. Oh, Bloomin, hey, I'm I'm going
- 13:59to look back at at the person who already was was pretty
- 14:04upset. I, I'm good where I am, but I,
- 14:07I, I, I just yeah, I just wanted to help out that I'm really glad
- 14:10I could. I'll, I'll see you in there.
- 14:13Sorry, did you say neon? Neon Pass.
- 14:16Neon Pass. Yeah, man, I got a little patch,
- 14:19my own, my own trash patch in the garden.
- 14:22Oh my God, hold on. And and I dig into my pockets.
- 14:24Real. Quick.
- 14:25And as I dig into my pockets, stuff starts kind of falling
- 14:27out. Coins fall, lint falls, a couple
- 14:29of pop cabs fall. And he and he pulls out his
- 14:32wallet. He ruffles through it.
- 14:33He's I don't need that card. And he pulls out a different
- 14:36card and he holds up a card right at you.
- 14:38And it says right there like Neon Pass fan Club member number
- 14:420007. Double O 7.
- 14:47Oh my gosh, man. Hey, what's up?
- 14:51You, you, you donate all the time.
- 14:53You subscribe all the time, man, I love you.
- 14:56That's awesome. Hey.
- 14:57You have such a sick St. Oh my God.
- 14:59Oh my God. I'm fanning myself.
- 15:01I'm fanning myself, OK? It's cool, man.
- 15:04It's cool man. Hey, you want some stickers?
- 15:05I put out like a bunch of stickers and buttons and oh man
- 15:09and hand it over. It immediately starts going on
- 15:13stuff. Gun's armor, He's, he's blinking
- 15:18up everything now. Hi, everyone.
- 15:23Hi. How's it going, party people?
- 15:27Hey, hi. Hi.
- 15:28Hi. This young woman has stepped out
- 15:33of the building and she's staring at you all in line.
- 15:35She's holding a little clipboard and she's got this big old smile
- 15:38on her face and she's wearing this little uniform.
- 15:40And on a lapel is a little yellow circle which says the
- 15:43happy company on it. Hi, hi.
- 15:46Hello. Hello.
- 15:50Are you guys all here for the market research?
- 15:54Yes, yes, yes. Yes.
- 15:55Yes, we are. I I OK, so I know the ad said
- 15:58that it only pays 400, but it does actually pay 505 hundred.
- 16:09Yeah, I know. Here at The Happy Company, we
- 16:11want you to be happy. That's why I know that's kind of
- 16:16cringe, but I have to read the script.
- 16:18I like it. I like it.
- 16:19Be cringe, be free, you know what I'm saying?
- 16:21You know, it's it's it's one of those things it's going to be
- 16:23really fun. So I'm going to have you guys
- 16:25come in. There is security here and then
- 16:29as you come in, I'm going to hand you all an NDA on paper.
- 16:33Weird, that's. Super retro.
- 16:37Yeah, it's very retro. It's going to be good.
- 16:40It's going to be good. Yeah.
- 16:41You have AV for a head. I do, yes.
- 16:44Is that a problem? Can you still do BDS?
- 16:48Yeah. Oh, then never mind.
- 16:50Then it's fine. Great.
- 16:51So if you guys can come on in, just follow me.
- 16:54Just come on in here. I opened.
- 16:57Come on in, everyone. Welcome to the happy company
- 16:59market Research on Market Street.
- 17:01Oh wow, yeah, cool. I leaned into retro.
- 17:04Oh man, I was hoping she'd be Scottish.
- 17:12You know we can. We can still dream.
- 17:14There might be a Sky music in there.
- 17:16They're. My, they're my, I mean, but you
- 17:19know you sometimes it's just getting to the journey of
- 17:23finally beating. Scott, that's true.
- 17:26Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone come on through.
- 17:29Please pay attention to the commercials on either side.
- 17:32Sure. Yeah.
- 17:35Oh, here we go. Oh yeah.
- 17:36Oh. They're louder than they thought
- 17:38they'd be. And as you walk in, there are
- 17:41advertisements for some of the Happy Company's other products.
- 17:46Smile with miss A, hug her and she hugs you back with
- 17:49algorithmically accurate compliments.
- 17:53Musical available in stores now. Sounds reasonable.
- 17:58I want one coach. Having trouble with the BM?
- 18:01We'll try our BD balloon film and finally get your butt
- 18:04moving. That's something that we've been
- 18:07eating for a while. A new thing the day before
- 18:11Christmas. The day.
- 18:12Before. Christmas the day before
- 18:14Christmas. The day before Christmas.
- 18:17Oh, the day before Christmas. Oh, are you looking at the Day
- 18:20Before Christmas commercial? Yeah, I am.
- 18:24Have you all signed the NDA? Well, you haven't handed it
- 18:27first yet. Yes, I have.
- 18:28I handed it to you as you came on in, Silly goose.
- 18:31I didn't get one. Can I please get one?
- 18:33Here you go, and here's a pen for you all you can keep that
- 18:35has the Happy Company logo on it.
- 18:36Oh, thank you. Oh, you don't have a name stack?
- 18:39Here's a clipboard. Here's a I'm Maggie.
- 18:42Oh, good. Nice to meet you, Maggie.
- 18:44I thought you had a different name.
- 18:46No, I'm Maggie. Oh, I thought your name was Joy,
- 18:49because that's what you seem to be bringing around here.
- 18:52I like you. There are bonus points here, but
- 18:55I would give them give them to this guy.
- 18:59I'm just going. To go through everyone but what
- 19:03was your name? Neon Pass.
- 19:05Bright neon. Pass.
- 19:07Good. Yeah, I love your signature and
- 19:10that's cute. Yeah.
- 19:11Thank you. Welcome and you.
- 19:14Bloomin, is it OK if I take pictures of literally everything
- 19:18while we're here? Not in the actual Market Reach
- 19:21research booth. And on Christmas Day, you can
- 19:24release any footage you take inside, but not inside either
- 19:28room A or B. OK.
- 19:30And they're labeled, right? I won't.
- 19:32Very much. It's on the ground, big letters.
- 19:35It's very clean here. We like to be clean here at The
- 19:37Happy Company. OK, OK.
- 19:39Everyone I was hanging out with in line put stickers on all of
- 19:41their stuff and it really bothers me.
- 19:43But yeah, that's great Labels, OK.
- 19:45Nice to meet you Lumen. Again with the NDA you can't
- 19:48release any information till after Christmas.
- 19:50We good. I totally get it.
- 19:52This is yes, totally get. It all right and you.
- 19:56Vex. Nice to meet you.
- 19:58So how long is this going to take?
- 20:00Maybe an hour. OK, just checking.
- 20:04I mean, or do you mean the whole side quest?
- 20:06Because that's probably about four or five.
- 20:10You're going to be the rudest way to ask, all right, how long
- 20:13is this going to take? We got to wrap.
- 20:17It up, Ryan's got. Somewhere to be.
- 20:20He's got a Renaissance fair to go to.
- 20:24We're not recording videos, so they have no idea why that's
- 20:27coming. I think that's better.
- 20:30Imagine the pirateous shirt do. It There we go.
- 20:36And and you? Oh, I'm Cargill Forge.
- 20:40Nice to meet you. Would you prefer like 4G?
- 20:43Mr. Forge Cargill, what would you like to be referred to as?
- 20:48Cargill's fine in general, but I might be able to Mr. 4 GI think
- 20:53I could learn to come along but. I think that's the cute one, Mr.
- 21:00Forge. It is.
- 21:03I hope you're in Group A, I'm running with Group A.
- 21:05It's going to be fun. Anyway, we'll get to that in a
- 21:07bit. And you are Mr. TV head person.
- 21:10Your mouth's moving, but nothing's happening.
- 21:13I'm sorry I was having internal thoughts in my head.
- 21:16I apologize. I put myself on mute real quick.
- 21:20As you can see, I've written down my my legal name Jebediah
- 21:23Popescu. But I have a a Nam de plume
- 21:26which I use for my actual name for when I'm having to do any
- 21:30business stuff like that which is just retro.
- 21:32So. You got it, Mr. Retroman.
- 21:35Like your jacket? Thank you.
- 21:38If you could all just head into the room to the South, the
- 21:41security is here for your protection and mine because you
- 21:45are just people we found on the street.
- 21:48So if you don't do anything, they don't do anything.
- 21:50That sounds fair. Fair, Yeah.
- 21:53So if you make your way down there, find yourself a seat.
- 21:57I'm one of the sofas in here. That's a nice sofa, I expect.
- 22:01Thank. You.
- 22:02We love red. It's very seasonal.
- 22:05Yeah. And I think this spot next to me
- 22:07over here. Oh thanks man I I'm like
- 22:10streaming this whole thing on my phone.
- 22:16You signed an NDA. They said we could film in here,
- 22:19right? It was he.
- 22:20Said that the that it couldn't go out until after Christmas.
- 22:23Are you streaming or you filming?
- 22:24That's right, I'm filming. That's right, I am filming.
- 22:27Concealed. Concealed.
- 22:28No, it didn't go well last time. My.
- 22:32You also have no levels in concealed reveal of.
- 22:34No, yeah, my my maid bits were out for.
- 22:37All to see. And all to see.
- 22:39Yeah, no filming. Thank you very much.
- 22:41Pissed off with just a hail of bullets.
- 22:42It's like, all right, let's continue.
- 22:46OK everyone, I'm going to play the little video and GM side
- 22:52moment. We're going to have music
- 22:53playing in this for the final edit version, but you can just
- 22:56imagine it because I didn't have that.
- 23:02This is the best bossa Nova music to happen.
- 23:06Night City needs something fresh.
- 23:10Are you feeling down? Do you love video games?
- 23:13Are you festive as fuck? Yeah, we at the Happy Company,
- 23:18we've got something for you coming.
- 23:20This season is our new BD game. That just makes you feel better.
- 23:25Oh game, I love games. OK, I'm going to pause the
- 23:27video. How do we feel about that?
- 23:29Everyone, raise your hand. If you're interested, raise your
- 23:31hand. Love video games?
- 23:35Pretty cool. Do we have to be festive as
- 23:38fuck? No, no, we're just trying to
- 23:41cover demographics. Are you against the project
- 23:44because it's festive as fuck or are you with the project because
- 23:47or just like agnostic? No, I I didn't know if that was
- 23:51the goal or I had to be right now.
- 23:53No, it's more that we're trying to get people to buy it for
- 23:55Christmas. Oh, OK.
- 23:57OK, yeah, got. It.
- 23:59Got it. We just didn't want to mess it
- 24:00up. Are we asking this if we're
- 24:02going to be secular or religious then?
- 24:04It's not a religious thing, It's more are you?
- 24:06Are you interested in gifts? Do you like like games and
- 24:09feeling good about yourself? I do it now.
- 24:13OK. This seems positive.
- 24:15I'm seeing positive. And what about you?
- 24:18And some other people in the room and kind of put their hands
- 24:20up. They are way more apathetic than
- 24:22you guys. They do not have protagonist
- 24:24energy. Do we have to be playing the
- 24:34game or is this like something you can give someone?
- 24:37You serious? What?
- 24:41I'm going to write that down. That's a great thing to say
- 24:44here. Looks really confused at this
- 24:47guy on one of the sofas in the front row.
- 24:50Someone's not getting paid. Yeah.
- 24:53Was that helpful? I don't know.
- 24:54OK. It.
- 24:56Wasn't festive? Here's the here's the second
- 24:58video I want to show you. Here we go.
- 25:00Here we go that go girl, put the ball in the cup, feel good,
- 25:05stand near your friends and see who can do it faster for an even
- 25:09bigger reward. And once every single week, some
- 25:12player will win actual money. Not that bullshit, but actual
- 25:16money. All in a simple BD chip that you
- 25:19can play with an implant or through a device sold by us here
- 25:23at the Happy Company. Merry Christmas.
- 25:27It's simple, it's easy guys. What do you think?
- 25:29Was that direct? I have, I have a question.
- 25:32Yeah. So this is two things.
- 25:36A ball. And a.
- 25:38Cup. Digitally, yeah.
- 25:41Why? Well, it's more of a game
- 25:45mechanic. You are you aware of video
- 25:47games? You you put the ball in a cup,
- 25:50but in your mind. And there are lots of cool
- 25:53backgrounds you can unlock too. Bro you can win real money with
- 25:56this come on. Folks, welcome to dungeons and
- 26:08Randomness. Since 2012, myself and an
- 26:10amazing cast of 18 have been telling stories in our home brew
- 26:14world of Theria. 4 different groups explore lost ruins, run
- 26:18for political office, Rage Against a mad king, set sail to
- 26:22long forgotten islands, and so much more.
- 26:25Every group has a different story and flavor, and every
- 26:29season or arc has a new set of groups and stories, all building
- 26:33the history of our world with every single session.
- 26:37Literally hundreds of hours of stories are waiting for you as
- 26:40part of the Pickaxe network. Check out Dungeons and
- 26:43Randomness wherever you get your podcasts and we'll see you
- 26:46around the table. How are you?
- 26:54How are you not hyped about winning but real money?
- 26:57I'm kind of, I'm kind of wondering how this will be in
- 27:00terms of like engagement, you know, with like viewers and
- 27:03stuff like that. If you're like streaming this or
- 27:05anything like that. We will have a streamer package
- 27:08where your audience doesn't have to be physically close to you,
- 27:12but you can play with each other and of course the winner of your
- 27:15groups. That gets to feel good.
- 27:18So if you're playing with someone else, do you put your
- 27:20ball in their cup? No.
- 27:22You're racing to see who can do it first, no?
- 27:26OK, I have a clarification question.
- 27:28Sure. You said you can play with
- 27:30friends. Yes.
- 27:33Do you need those? No, it will play with anyone if
- 27:38I if it does not come with friends.
- 27:41You're chipper, aren't you? I.
- 27:43Sorry. You don't have to apologize.
- 27:47I'll shame you anyway. I'm kidding.
- 27:49I'm kidding. I'm kidding how?
- 27:51Are people. Feeling about this?
- 27:54Question Question will there be skins for the cup and balls?
- 28:00That is a good will be. Skins for the cup and balls.
- 28:03Will you be able to have more than one ball like a pair of
- 28:05balls? We're thinking about that for
- 28:08another update, and you saw right through us that's really
- 28:10cool. Oh cool, I'm kind of like
- 28:12getting in the mindset of it. Also you said that we can win
- 28:16actual money. Is this like so you can win
- 28:20money but there's no gambling, right?
- 28:22We're not putting our money in you, just as the potential of
- 28:25winning money, no. Go gambling.
- 28:28Like if I was to say buy this for my son and be like, if you
- 28:33want to earn an allowance, you got to play ball in the cup.
- 28:36Well, it's only the top five people every week.
- 28:39Well my son loves video games and he could he'll just probably
- 28:43just do that consistently. I mean all he does is just rain
- 28:45and dance all the time anyway. So you can you can help with
- 28:48rent. Yeah, so now that you've seen
- 28:51this, who wants to try it? Oh me, I'm an excellent ball
- 28:56handler. Excellent.
- 28:58We love that. OK, everybody, I'm going to say
- 29:02let's see. OK, For Group B, let's have
- 29:09GAIL, Sarah, James, George and we have one person in the
- 29:20bathroom, so I guess they're in Group B.
- 29:22And then can we have for Group A Neon Lumen, Retro Cargill and?
- 29:32Sick. Yeah.
- 29:34It's in Group. Crazy.
- 29:36Oh, look at that. I did.
- 29:37I did the room. I didn't even do that.
- 29:38I was looking down. That's crazy.
- 29:41If you can follow me, Group A is going to go with me.
- 29:43Group B, my associate Kate is already in there.
- 29:47So if you could just head on in there so Trudy could.
- 29:49You get the guy. From my bathroom.
- 29:51Yes, of course. Thank.
- 29:53You. All right, you, you guys just go
- 29:55straight in there. Right in the bee, You busy
- 29:58little bee. Hey, Kate.
- 29:59Hi, Honey. OK, you guys stay happy now.
- 30:05Mickey, it's it's be happy. Shut up.
- 30:10Oh, wait, no, we're not going in there.
- 30:11Sorry. Nope, you're not going in there.
- 30:14It's labeled. It's clearly labeled.
- 30:16It's. Very.
- 30:17I couldn't see there's, there's no stickers on it.
- 30:19It's just. It's it's in a, it's in a mono
- 30:24mono. Color it's.
- 30:26Just like 1. Thing like my brain just buzzing
- 30:29all around it. There's no LEDs there's.
- 30:31No, nothing. You drink orange juice with your
- 30:34meds? That that's what happened this
- 30:36morning. Is it crazy that now that we
- 30:38can't go and be? All I want to know is what's
- 30:40happening and be. I mean, I kind of yeah, a little
- 30:44bit, yeah. I saw my tum in there.
- 30:47They did. Yeah, we I just call him Tum.
- 30:49Nice. OK, everybody, everyone find a
- 30:52seat. Nope.
- 30:57Sorry for that one. You guys are.
- 30:59Cute, sorry you're cute as you've got such a great you just
- 31:02want vet retro I. Just love.
- 31:04Yeah, you know what, with having such a boxy head, I also have
- 31:07just very like a very boxy thighs.
- 31:14OK everyone love this stuff. In front of you just just in the
- 31:18little little table attached to seat is a BD unit.
- 31:23We have an extra wide one for UTV head and if you guys just
- 31:27put it on and then you'll see a ball and a cup.
- 31:31Now the background is in beta so it is grey.
- 31:35You see a ball and cup and you just have to sink the ball into
- 31:37the cup. First person gets a point and
- 31:39the highest point winner will get an extra 50.
- 31:42At ease today A. Little detail.
- 31:47OK, OK, OK, OK. Is there anything I can do to be
- 31:51extra good at ball and cup? Yes.
- 31:56What can I do, Paris? You can bullshit your way into
- 31:59rolling an actual skill. Would you consider this basic
- 32:03tech or? If you like.
- 32:07I feel like you're making an exception for me because I'm a
- 32:09guest, but I'll take it. Thank you.
- 32:11Makes sense to me. It's not the craziest one I've
- 32:12ever heard. So anyway, why don't you just
- 32:17paramedic? You.
- 32:20Can justify it. What about since this is like
- 32:24throwing a thing and like you know, having to to pick a target
- 32:27and get something in, Would like an aiming skill like handgun be
- 32:32useful? Yes.
- 32:34All right. I would like to do that, yeah.
- 32:35Yeah, whatever you want. I'm I'm just going to use my
- 32:38mind. Oh.
- 32:41That's a very good role. You did very well there.
- 32:44I'm. I'm good at one thing.
- 32:48That's. Really good.
- 32:53Oh my. God.
- 32:55Let's go. Man.
- 32:57Oh, Cargill, you think I'm not going to notice that one year
- 32:59old earlier get messed? That was a cow.
- 33:02That was a cow. Hold the one.
- 33:04I'm not letting that pass. It's time for your nudes to show
- 33:09up so. Cargill.
- 33:11You're trying to do. You're trying.
- 33:12To put this ball in the cup and for the life of you it just
- 33:16won't go in. It hits the rim.
- 33:19Come on. It rolls off the.
- 33:21Screen and you have to like look around the room to find it and
- 33:24then look at it to get it back into your view and you're having
- 33:27a bad point and you see the little logos of everyone else in
- 33:32the room go green. As long as that balls go in a
- 33:34cup. Lost.
- 33:37No, that's. Yours feeling.
- 33:39Retro, you're second to last with that five, unless you're
- 33:42waggy, you know I was. Going to ask, can I roll
- 33:46electronic security tech to make an analysis on the cup and the
- 33:51ball in the game? Roll for it.
- 33:53For some reason I feel like there's carnival shenanigans
- 33:55here and the ball may be bigger than the cup.
- 33:59Oh, electronic security. 29 Yes, you look through the code and
- 34:08it's just a ball in the cup game.
- 34:10That's it. The thing that you do find weird
- 34:13though is that there is a large portion of allocated data
- 34:16missing. Petabytes and petabytes of data.
- 34:20Absolute Dick loads of data that's just missing from this
- 34:24version that that does strike you as weird.
- 34:28Yes. This does distract you however,
- 34:31so you end up still being second to last.
- 34:34The others aren't paying attention to your slightly
- 34:37confused game Playing Vex. You rolled an 8.
- 34:40Yes. That is, do you want to roll a
- 34:44skill? No, he's purposefully sticking
- 34:47with just instructions right now.
- 34:48OK, cool. Yeah, you're you're shit.
- 34:52This is hard because I was doing it backwards.
- 34:55They got middle of the pack. You're right in the middle of
- 34:57the pack, Neon. You're just about to get your
- 35:01ball in when the calmest and sweetest person in the room,
- 35:06Lumen, just gets in it. First time you're very relaxed
- 35:09of mine and it just and it makes a very satisfying noise, like
- 35:15the sound of a of a Pebble plopping into a freshly still
- 35:18lake. And it's just the noise that
- 35:20makes you feel better, but you don't feel any other effect and
- 35:23it gives you a point. Great.
- 35:25We have our winner Lumen. Well done.
- 35:28That's so good. All right, everybody, Round 2GO
- 35:31again. OK, all right technique, I can
- 35:38do this. What did I just do?
- 35:42It's. 4. You rolled.
- 35:44You rolled. The worst crit fail is what you
- 35:46actually did. Good.
- 35:48I think that balances it out. All right.
- 35:51Oh, wow, you guys did great. Cargill.
- 35:56You get really excited as you're not lost.
- 35:59You're right in the middle of the pack.
- 36:00You're not lost. You get the ball in and it and
- 36:03it makes the for you. It makes a guitar riff noise as
- 36:08it drops into the into the hole. Yeah, that's my jam.
- 36:15Retro yours is the sound of ACRT television turning on.
- 36:19That seems technologically ablest.
- 36:25And vex and pass. Pass.
- 36:29Thank you. Vex and Pass, you both get the
- 36:34ball in the cup at the same time.
- 36:36Lumen on the other hand, you've thrown it and now you can't find
- 36:39the ball and you walk around the you get up to try and find it,
- 36:42walk around the room and hit a wall and you take one HP damage.
- 36:49Ow I'm so sorry did I? Did I?
- 36:52Did I damage? The wall you're.
- 36:54Talking to a wall. Oh God, OK.
- 36:58Don't stand up during the test. Got it.
- 37:01Sorry I lost the ball and I couldn't, I couldn't find it
- 37:04again. Is there a clap?
- 37:06Clap. OK, did it.
- 37:09Every time you clap it resets the ball to center.
- 37:11See how? These balls go up now.
- 37:16I instantly get overwhelmed when I put.
- 37:18In the Congress like. Oh no, there's too many balls.
- 37:24OK, final round, everyone roll again.
- 37:27Here we go. Because I've also noticed the
- 37:30petabytes of data that are completely missing and I
- 37:35probably, I think distracted me from the last one.
- 37:38I realized I'm not going to win this.
- 37:40There's no point. Can I poke around to see what
- 37:44data is missing? Are there any markers, any kind
- 37:48of tags or something that I can know what was removed?
- 37:52Roll for it 26. The only thing you're that you
- 37:55can work out is that it's neural data.
- 37:58You can't neural data. Still on disk DLC.
- 38:01It's 2 forms of neural data. The rest of you, though, have no
- 38:08idea that this is happening and everyone rolled really, really
- 38:13well. Really well, really well.
- 38:17But it's Cargill who wins this rap, yeah.
- 38:23Yeah. Oh, in your faces, boy, you're
- 38:28good. We.
- 38:29Have a winner. We what?
- 38:31One second I'm getting my headset died.
- 38:36That's weird. My little earpiece, my Well
- 38:40done. You're going to get the extra 50
- 38:41eddies. Thank you so much everyone for
- 38:43your tests. If you just I'm going to, I'm
- 38:46going to go and fix my headset. If you guys could put your
- 38:49things on the ground. We've got cameras recording.
- 38:50So just discuss amongst yourselves how the game is going
- 38:55and please don't take my tone as panic.
- 38:59I Yeah, Hey. Did any of you guys have a
- 39:01problem with too many balls and not enough?
- 39:03Cup No, no, that I didn't. I didn't have that.
- 39:07Did you? Was it because you hit the wall?
- 39:09No, it was after the wall. The lady told me to clap and
- 39:12then after I got done clapping, there were just there it was.
- 39:15It was overwhelming honestly. There were way too many balls.
- 39:18Hey, do you think if you get more balls like that, you can
- 39:21like, you know, hack the game a little bit so you can like get a
- 39:26lot of chances to win? Oh, like just throw a bunch.
- 39:29Yeah, just like a toss a bunch, you know?
- 39:32Well, if there's a command for extra balls, maybe you could get
- 39:36extra cups too, like a bonus round or something and you could
- 39:38just toss a bunch statistically, you know?
- 39:46You hear screaming outside and then gunshots.
- 39:51Shit. And then a bullet flies through
- 39:54the door and hits Maggie square in the back of the head and she
- 39:57drops the ground dead like a sack of shit.
- 40:00My God, I get my video camera out and I film it.
- 40:06What are those people? No, I do not move.
- 40:10I am stock still, like a deer drinking out of a pond.
- 40:14Like just absolutely my body refuses to work.
- 40:18Shit, holy shit, holy shit. This seems normal to retro and
- 40:23in fact, now that Maggie's got Maggie's passed away
- 40:26unfortunately like, well, I guess I can just do this now.
- 40:29I'll pull Jay out and I'll just light it up and start smoking.
- 40:37I get up and try. Does the door open outwards or
- 40:41did the door open inwards? It's a sliding door.
- 40:44Is the door open right now? It is open, yes, because I yes.
- 40:48So you should be able to see out the door if you move just right.
- 40:50Yep, but I don't want to see what's out the door.
- 40:54I want to move to the door and close it.
- 40:58Cool. So you walk up to the door, the
- 41:00door control is a little keypad beside it, and it's stuck open.
- 41:03Oh. God.
- 41:05Hey, who knows how to fix doors? And then more.
- 41:10To look down and I'm going to have, I have a big like E banner
- 41:15across the left forearm and I'm going to press a few buttons.
- 41:18It's going to change to a bunch of angry faces like emoticons
- 41:23all over it. He's going to pick up, going to
- 41:26pick up my gun and move to the edge of the desk where the desk
- 41:29is between me and the door. Shit.
- 41:32Also Cargill for winning that you get an inspiration.
- 41:37I have a pretty good electronics and security tech.
- 41:42Do you say anything about the door being stuck open like the
- 41:45keypad? Yes.
- 41:48Hey, you, you fixed the thing earlier.
- 41:50Can you fix the door? I I think it'll be it.
- 41:52Just 1000 yard stare for a second, huh?
- 41:54Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah.
- 41:57Yeah. Yeah.
- 41:57Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 41:58Is that door bulletproof, do you think?
- 42:01Probably not. I hope so.
- 42:02Wait, hold on. Just shoot, I was going.
- 42:06To have, hold on, I'm going to have the, we, we've heard the,
- 42:10we've heard the sound of this gun a couple of times, I think,
- 42:13right? Yep.
- 42:15I'd like to use a weapons tech to be able to see if I can
- 42:18determine the sound of the firearm.
- 42:22Fuck. Oh no, it's a heavy SMG.
- 42:27Oh no. Yeah, that's somewhat worrisome.
- 42:30That's a lot of bullets. It's a lot of bullets.
- 42:33Well, let's hopefully get this door shut.
- 42:34Maybe. Unfortunately the the crazy guy
- 42:39in the hallway just rolled a crit success with his gun and as
- 42:43he blazes his gun across the room, this heavy SMG.
- 42:46He hits the other side of the door control and it frazzles and
- 42:51then shocks you. Cargo standing right next to it
- 42:54forces you back a step, you lose 2 HP and it stings hell either.
- 43:01Oh. We're going to shake that up.
- 43:03I got to shake that up. Oh.
- 43:04Wow. Geez.
- 43:06Oh shit. That's a little bad with
- 43:07mentally it's more than 50 eddies.
- 43:10Motherfuckers. What the what the what the fuck
- 43:13do we do? Retro?
- 43:14What's going? What the fuck?
- 43:16This is really going to affect us getting paid today, isn't it?
- 43:19Well, for initiative. Do you guys think the NDA still
- 43:22counts? Can I film?
- 43:24Can I just take pictures? Next time on no latency side
- 43:37quest let's. Get messy tune.
- 43:42Is there a clear shot around this hostage?
- 43:45There's one outside looking right at our gunman.
- 43:48Neon pass New Tumblr when we get it.
- 43:51We'd hot lad. Oh no.
- 43:53Yeah, I saw. It everybody at Cargill.
- 43:55Cover me, I got to get this fixed.
- 43:57I saw it. It did happen.
- 43:58Because like that first person shooter, remember how much it
- 44:00took you to finally get on the boards and you finally got
- 44:02bronze rank. Yeah, yeah.
- 44:04Ohh no. I'll take the first one this
- 44:08time if you don't mind. Well, there's that.
- 44:11Missing data welcome. Home, yes.
- 44:15You call atrocity, I call tactics.
- 44:18But I'd rather not have a bunch of stick.
- 44:20Guys fan, I swear I won't ban, you know, time you all out.
- 44:23Trying to whack them right in the.
- 44:24Head I enforce the Ndas and then I shoot.
- 44:27Nice. Oh, we're getting we're, we're
- 44:29close to that Tumblr chat. Before we go poking the bear if
- 44:32we got paid yet, it's if we check to see if we've got our
- 44:35eddies. Can you pick that up and shoot
- 44:36them already? I.
- 44:37Really don't want to pick up that gun man I'm sorry.
- 45:06Thank you for joining us on our adventure once again here at No
- 45:10Latency. Don't forget to follow us on
- 45:13Twitter at No Latency Pod. Check out our website at
- 45:16nolatencypodcast.com. And if you'd like to support us
- 45:19further, we have a Patreon, get exclusive content, spin offs,
- 45:24bonus episodes, bloopers, ad free episodes, and so much more
- 45:27with weekly content to say thank you to our supporters and even
- 45:31spice up your own Cyberpunk Red games at home.
- 45:34No matter what level your support, Thank you again so much
- 45:39for listening. We literally couldn't do this
- 45:41without you. And of course, we'll see you
- 45:44next time in Night City. Thanks for listening, Jim.