Latest / Neighbourly: Real Stories of Care and Community / Still Here, Because Someone Showed Up | Rosemary Ellis

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Still Here, Because Someone Showed Up | Rosemary Ellis · Neighbourly: Real Stories of Care and Community

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  This episode includes discussion of childhood sexual abuse,
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  exploitation, and addiction, shared as part of a story of
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  healing and hope. Listener discretion is advised. Please take care
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  of yourself while listening. If he
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  did it for me, he can do it for them. There are people dying.
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  I'm blessed to be here. I say it all the time. And I'm not
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  just saying it. I'm humbled because I shouldn't even be
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  alive, yet I am.
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  Every one of us has a story about someone who showed up when it mattered
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  most. I'm Johan, and this is Neighbourly, a
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  podcast about the ordinary ways people show extraordinary care.
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  Every other week, Shannon Steves sits down with someone who's
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  lived that out. Real stories of faith, kindness,
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  and community in action. So grab your coffee and let's
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  join Shannon at the table.
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  Okay. Well, good morning, Rosemary. I am so
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  excited just to be on the podcast with you today.
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  We've known each other for not super long, but you've just
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  been somebody that, as I've gotten to know you, has encouraged
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  and inspired me. And I'm really excited just for you to
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  be on and. And to share some of your testimony and the way
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  God has worked in your life. So thank you for being here
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  today. Thank you for having me, Shannon. Yeah. Before
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  we dive into your story, we always start off with an
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  icebreaker question of who was a neighbor that
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  you'll never forget, good or bad?
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  Okay. What first came to mind was
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  a couple that would constantly throw their garbage over to
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  my yard, and we're talking all sorts of
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  garbage. Oh, my. So that was hard. That was
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  many, many years ago. And it just stuck with me because it didn't matter
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  what I did, how I. You know, I. And I just got to the point
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  where I ignored it. Right. Did you try to talk to them and, like, ask
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  them why they're doing this? I did. I did. But
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  I also wasn't living my best life at that time,
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  so it came to a point where I was just, you know, I. I didn't
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  care because I didn't want to get into it. So. Yeah. Oh, that is. That
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  is memorable. It was. It is memorable.
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  Not something you forget. Before we really get into things, can you just
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  share a little bit about your life right now and just the different
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  ways you're involved in community? Yeah.
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  Okay. So I. I am, number one. I
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  am a child of God. I am a mother to four children.
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  Well, five, actually. I'm also a foster parent, so I'm able
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  to open up my heart and my home
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  in a different capacity. But it's still being the same. Right. But
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  it does look different. I am also, I have a role
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  here at Inner City Youth Alive with the
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  community ministry team. For the last three years. I'm working my
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  third year here now I'm out in the community. I go out
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  into the thick of it. There is some scheduled things I do,
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  but for the most part, one day can look very different from
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  the next. Yeah. And for those who don't know, can
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  you just tell us a little bit, what is inner city Youth Alive? What do
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  you guys do there? Yeah. So how I would explain it in my own
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  words is it is a lighthouse in the middle of the North End. There's
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  several little areas and pockets of inner city Youth Alive. It started
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  off primarily for youth and it still is. We have
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  wonderful drop in staff from Monday to Thursday where our
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  children in this community are able to come to drop in,
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  feel safe. And also, I don't know a lot about it because I don't work
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  in that area, but from what I know, there's also the option of
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  it's called talk time, which they're able to learn about the Lord
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  should they choose to. Now if the, if the children don't choose to,
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  they're not told to leave. So it's, it is number one, it's a safe place
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  for our children in this community. And then, yeah, there's
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  different projects going on. We have Step Up Construction
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  that actually go out into the community and have contracts with people,
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  some bigger city companies and some smaller,
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  just private households. The group at Step up actually
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  just did my backsplash in my kitchen. Wow,
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  super. I'm super blessed. And like,
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  truthfully, what would have been like a $3,000 job
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  was a gift. And like, I just want to praise
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  and just lift up Step Up Construction. And if anybody's listening
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  and they know or they don't know of Step Up Construction,
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  please look us up. And there's always room for contracts and they're
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  looking for work. So. Yeah, that's so awesome. I
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  met a couple weeks ago, Tom. Is he the one who oversees
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  Step Up? Yes. Yeah. And I was like, this is so cool.
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  As you know, know a social enterprise in the community,
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  being able to, you know, employ youth is kind of what he was sharing
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  or youth that are, are growing into adults and that work experience
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  and that just like relationship. That's so huge. It
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  is so huge. I didn't speak a lot about community ministry, so
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  I'll just quickly talk about that. Yeah. There's four of us that have
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  that role and it looks different for all four, but for me,
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  I went into it not knowing again what
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  one day is going to look like. But the Lord has definitely set in my
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  path a specific ministry, and that is to
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  sit and to give a hand of help to
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  women who are struggling with addiction, not just addiction,
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  struggling within the system of cfs. Some real
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  huge concerns I'm able to advocate in court.
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  I'm not a lawyer, obviously, I'm not a, you know,
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  counselor, but God just really has me building
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  relationships with women who trust me. And that's huge because
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  trust is really hard for. For a lot of our. A lot of our
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  families. So. Yeah. Wow. Thank you for sharing that.
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  And I. I would imagine that a huge part of that trust
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  comes from, you know, some of your own lived experience in being able
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  to truly relate. Right. And understand some of what
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  they're going through. Yeah. Can you, I guess, kind of going back
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  to a little bit of just your journey, and you mentioned a
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  previous time. You know, where does it start for you, I guess as
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  a youth or a young adult with your story? Well,
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  number one, I'm a product of a broken home. So I
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  had just been living with my mom,
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  and respectfully speaking, my mom and my biological
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  dad and my stepdad, we've all found healing throughout our relationship.
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  But at the end of the day, I suffered. I went through a lot of
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  abuse, sexual abuse at the hands of my
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  uncle, actually. And I had that
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  because my innocence was taken from me, which we see a lot
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  with families with children. What happens then is
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  we lose our sense of identity before we even get to know who we are.
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  So that's what happened to me and ended up going out onto
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  the streets. I did spend some time in cfs, so I was.
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  And forgive me if I jump around a bit, but what happened with me is
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  I didn't open up about the abuse until a little later on. And when I
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  did, I wasn't believed. And we hear a lot of that, too. Children are just
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  not believed. And there's nothing worse than
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  finding the courage to speak up only to be shut
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  down. So when that happened, I kind of just gave
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  up. And what that looked like for me was, okay,
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  I. And I am going to be raw here. When I talk, I'm just going
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  to go out. And I was introduced to people that taught me how
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  to do things such as stand on the corner and prostitute,
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  and that's exactly what I did. I was 12. I was 12
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  when I took my first crack. Hoot. So I started to
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  smoke crack at 12 that obviously
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  caused a lot of
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  confusion. And I
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  went on my years from 12 to,
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  I want to say 20, 21, smoking crack throughout those years,
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  rather than staying stuck in this part, I just want to say
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  that I got out of it. Praise be to God, I got out of it.
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  But I didn't just get out of it and find healing so fast.
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  So the testimony continues. I had to learn how to
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  forgive. I had to learn who I was. I
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  actually had to learn how to think again because
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  a lot of cognitive stuff happened right when you're.
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  When you're 12 and your frontal lobe is still growing and you're smoking
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  hard drugs, it was affected. So, yeah, I
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  was getting to know myself at 21 years old, which isn't
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  horrible. So essentially I got out of it
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  a lot earlier than a lot of the people that I was out with.
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  They're either rest in peace, like they're either passed away
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  or still out there or in jail. Wow. Thank you
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  for sharing that and being raw and honest about
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  what you've walked through. And I'm just honored to sit
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  hear that story. That's incredible what you've been
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  through. But like you alluded to, there have been a time
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  or times where God met you. Can you talk to us
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  a little bit about what that has looked like and how what those
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  turning points were, I guess, in your life? Yes,
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  well, I actually was approached.
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  So through the years of me being on the streets and back then, it
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  was so prominent. We would always be on the corners. Right. Nowadays you
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  don't really see it. It's all online, it's hidden. But through
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  those years, there was a bus called the Love Lives Here bus. And
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  the ministry is still alive and well, but they have a trailer. Back
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  then, on the weekends they would drive around and they
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  would. They would pursue us gently. Okay.
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  And so this is more than a story, but this is actually something
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  that when I. When I talk about, I'm just reminded of
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  God's goodness and how important we as his
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  hands and feet are. Because if
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  that woman, I don't remember her name, didn't ever really
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  see her again, but if she wouldn't have got off of the bus.
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  So anyways, what they did was they would park the bus,
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  cold weather, they'd bring hot chocolate, chili, whatever, to
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  the corners, to where we would stand, and they would
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  try to talk to us. Wow. So that's just kind of like a little bit
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  of what that looked like. Now, this one particular weekend,
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  I was upset, I was angry. I wasn't getting picked up the johns were driving
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  around, and they were just being jerks. And so this
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  one lady, she was pursuing me, right? And
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  I kept telling her to f off, like, leave me alone,
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  lady. Like, you're ruining, you know, whatever business I thought I had.
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  And again, I'm talking just really raw. I'm not glorifying it.
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  So I'm thinking to myself, like, leave me alone. And I told her,
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  right? I was. I was just rude. I was mean. I was. I was not
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  thinking about her. I was thinking about myself. But just
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  as Christ pursues us, she.
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  She stood back like she was, you know, at. You know,
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  she. I could tell she was using some discernment, now that I look back.
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  But she would come back. She would come back. Are you ready for prayer? Can
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  we pray or not even that. Like, can you. You want a
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  sandwich? So this one particular time,
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  back to that time, I said, fine. Like, I'll take a
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  sandwich. She's like, are you cold? And
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  so I went on the bus, and they prayed for me. And so
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  when they were praying for me, I wish I could say that after
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  that night, I didn't ever look back. That's not often the
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  situation. But that was a seed planted.
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  And so I felt different.
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  And it was like my mind, right, because the battle always starts
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  in the mind. My mind started to think things. I started to
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  have different thoughts, like, oh, these people actually took their
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  time to pray with me. And that prayer just felt good.
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  And it was more than just a feeling. It was in my core. That
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  was one of the times that the Lord met me through somebody else.
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  I've also had a radical encounter with the Holy
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  Spirit. And so that particular time was just
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  so beautiful. And several years after,
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  I actually volunteered on that same bus, and
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  for about three or four years, I would volunteer, I got to know Heather
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  Barefoot. She's actually the director of Love Lives Here Ministry
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  and her husband Ted, and the people who drove the bus. Now, what
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  they did was each encounter
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  that they would make with us girls on the street, they would document
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  it. They would write it down. So I was able to go back
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  after I got, like. Got to know them. They took me
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  back to the late 1990s, slash, early
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  2000s, and I was able to read, like, three
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  recordings of when they would talk to me and how they
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  would pray behind the scenes.
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  Like, come on, right? How. How
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  do we. How do we deny that the Lord isn't real?
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  Wow. If that's not an encouragement to people, like,
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  I don't know what is. Because you said it. He's like, it wasn't a
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  light switch after that first, first, you know, prayer, that first encounter,
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  it was seeds being planted over time
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  and, you know, someone saying, yes, being obedient to what
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  God had called them to do and asked them to do, and just show up
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  on the bus and now,
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  like, look at what he's done in your life since then. It's
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  unbelievable. It is, yeah. We could end it there and be
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  okay, but I have more questions. Okay, so
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  you, you mentioned serving on with that ministry, with that team
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  on the bus. How has, you know, what you've been through and walked through, then
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  connected into wanting to continue serving
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  community? Like, how did it go from that to then kind of here, where you're
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  at now? Well, the more I get closer
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  to the Lord, which is a daily thing, the more I
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  see there are people dying physically, spiritually,
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  the most. And how can I.
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  How can I live out my life to glorify God
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  if I don't choose to try to reach the lost?
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  Because if he did it for me, he will do it
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  for you or whoever's listening or whoever's out there right
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  now. If. If he did it for me, he can do it for them, he
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  can do it for. And we're not even just talking about addicts. We're talking about
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  people who may have bondage in other ways.
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  Any kind of idol in your life. There are people dying.
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  And so, yeah, I. I'm
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  blessed to be here. I say it all the time. And I'm not just saying
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  it. I'm humbled because I shouldn't even be alive
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  yet I am. Yeah. How did you
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  get to icya? Because I know
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  there's significance in, like, the neighborhood that you're physically
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  in through work. And part of your story. How did you get
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  there? So for the last 15.
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  15 years, I worked in social services, right.
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  So I was in group homes and I was sitting at work,
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  looked at, you know, actually somebody mentioned inner city
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  youth alive at church not too long before I. I was
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  online and I happened to just come across the job
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  posting. And so I applied not too long
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  after. And it was actually a long process. Like, I didn't just get hired. They
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  interviewed me once, interviewed me twice, interviewed me a third
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  time. Now. The thing about ICY is I used to live in this
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  area, the North End. I would walk by this
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  building and wonder what it was. I didn't
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  ever talk to anybody, but I would walk by literally on my way to the
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  street corner. And so. Wow, right?
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  So here I am, and I'm still wowed. I'm still wowed at
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  how now I'm on the other side, not because
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  I'm better, but because now there's
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  that scripture that comes to mind. We are overcome by the blood of the lamb
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  and the word of our testimony. So he needs, he needs to use us.
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  He wants to use us. And so, yeah, so that's what happened. So I
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  got hired September 2022. It was
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  just six months after actually, so it wasn't. Oh, I
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  applied and I got it. I guess you are in a space
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  where you're quite literally walking with people who are
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  going through some stuff, going through challenges, like you said,
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  addiction and whatnot. I think sometimes
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  we as people can
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  overcomplicate what it means to just love
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  people and serve people. Like, I think sometimes we think we
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  need to have all this experience and training and do all this stuff.
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  And don't get me wrong, training's great, but we don't have to have a
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  degree to go and love people. We don't have to
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  have had a five year career doing xyz. Like,
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  we just have to show up. Right. And I guess, can you speak to what
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  that is like? Not to say you don't have experience, but to the
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  ordinary person who maybe doesn't know how
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  to just say yes to what God is or maybe God's putting something
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  on their heart. Like what it. Like what would you, I guess, nudge them
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  towards if they're in that place of like, I don't know if I
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  really can. I don't know if I really can love that way. Like, what would
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  you tell them? Yeah. So because
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  God qualifies us to do his work,
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  Right. Paul talks about it a lot in the New Testament.
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  It's not supposed to be rainbows and butterflies either. Yeah, there's going to be some,
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  some hard times. There's going to be some times where. And there are
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  a lot of times in my life, especially now, the last
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  three years, I've had more battle than ever. But that actually
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  means I'm on the right, I'm on the right track,
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  not because God wants me to suffer, but because
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  we do have an enemy. And so things pop up.
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  But yes, I would say to those that might
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  be feeling like they have something to give, that they
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  want to help because we all should be right. That's why we're
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  called the church. We're called the body for a reason.
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  And none of us are going to be called to do the same thing.
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  But I would just say trust in the Lord. Back to What I was saying,
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  trust in the Lord. Lean on his understanding, not
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  your own. Yeah, yeah, that's so
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  good. And you already mentioned where I wanted to kind
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  of ask more about was the church. Where does the church
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  fit into all this? I know you see a lot of
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  needs and, you know, people are going through things and they need
• 19:48
  just practical support sometimes or just, you know,
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  friendship. Where do you see the church fitting into
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  serving the community? Or how do you see it, maybe is a better question.
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  Well, I'm going to just speak from my heart, from
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  what I see. And so just ahead of time,
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  if there are people who may not like it or agree or disagree,
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  that's fine. But thankfully I'm on the podcast, so.
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  Right. I think that we
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  have come a long way as a church,
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  but not nearly far as we need to be.
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  And so when we were talking about not too long ago about Care
• 20:33
  Portal and about how many churches in Winnipeg, so I know there are a couple
• 20:37
  more churches that have been added on. Right. But when
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  we think about all the churches in this city,
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  there's a lot. I don't know the exact number. I'm sure you probably know more.
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  I think it's somewhere around 300 or so. Yeah. Right.
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  Okay. Versus. So 300 churches
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  versus how many are on the care portal? Yeah. 10 to
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  12 or so. That's a concern. That's a concern. And I can say it because
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  I don't work for Care Portal, so nobody can get mad at you guys.
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  They can come at me. But I think that's Care
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  Portal alone. But, like, in general, when I see a lot of
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  the churches in this area, so in the inner city, just
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  to make a positive turn, here they are involved. Right. So I also
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  run a food bank out of my church. I'm not the only one who runs
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  a food bank. We have food banks out of Living Word Temple
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  just down the street. Springs Inner City. So we are
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  making an effort for things like that. I do think that when it comes
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  to basic understanding and relationship building,
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  we really need more work. Yeah.
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  And I think that's such a good point because it.
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  I think I've talked about this with someone on a previous episode.
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  It can be sometimes easy to, like, give stuff or do the things,
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  but when it comes to, like sitting with somebody and just like being
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  present in their story, that can be where we
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  need some improvement as a, you know, as the church. And what
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  do you think that could look like? I guess, based on what you see, what
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  are some ways people in churches or just church in
• 22:15
  general Can. Can do better at that. Relational.
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  Just caring for people. Well, I think,
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  again, speaking for my home church, and
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  hopefully it doesn't sound biased, but we
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  do sit. We'll sit with people. I think that,
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  number one, the second we think we have an us
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  versus them mentality, we're already losing
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  also because of this whole truth and reconciliation
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  thing. I do think that the church,
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  many churches do want to reconcile,
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  but it's done in kind of
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  still kind of keeping people victimized.
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  And again, this is just my take. I'm not into,
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  like, I'm not trying to speak for anybody else.
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  I think that there's that part of trying to keep people victimized
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  still in that victim state, as well as
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  not educating ourselves enough about that. And what
• 23:22
  the residential schoolings did, what that really.
• 23:26
  What the impact really is. Yeah. So I think
• 23:29
  that there's like, different. It's like a different spectrum.
• 23:33
  It's from one extreme to the next, in my view.
• 23:36
  Yeah, that's, I think, really
• 23:40
  insightful to think about that us and them mentality.
• 23:45
  And, you know, you bring such a deep understanding of
• 23:49
  dignity, I think, in the way that you serve and the way you love
• 23:52
  people, I guess. What do you wish more people
• 23:55
  understood about those who are facing
• 23:59
  addiction or homelessness or some other significant
• 24:02
  crisis? Well, what
• 24:06
  my hope would be and what my prayer
• 24:10
  is, is. And we're, I guess we're talking more. I'm.
• 24:14
  I'm speaking more to believers, is
• 24:17
  that we, number one, get off of our high horse.
• 24:22
  And I mean that out of love, because I've been on a high
• 24:26
  horse too, a few times, and I've been knocked down, I've been humbled.
• 24:29
  And I think when we see the big picture,
• 24:34
  where trauma comes, what trauma causes, it looks different
• 24:38
  for everybody. And again, like I said earlier, addiction
• 24:42
  doesn't just mean drugs and alcohol. Addiction's living up in
• 24:46
  the suburbs with lots of money that, you know,
• 24:49
  people are gambling, people are addicted to pornography.
• 24:53
  We're talking about rich people as well. And so when we
• 24:57
  have an understanding that it's also us
• 25:01
  and it just looks different, then maybe they could
• 25:05
  see an addict on the street or somebody homeless and be like, wow,
• 25:09
  there's really not much of a difference between the two of us. Right. Yeah.
• 25:12
  That's so good. We could talk a lot about addiction too. But it's
• 25:16
  that the problem, you know, the stuff we see, the drugs or
• 25:20
  the alcohol or the pornography or whatever, the stuff, that's not
• 25:24
  really the issue. It's deeper within and
• 25:27
  there's likely trauma there and some wounding and. And healing.
• 25:31
  That really is needing to happen. And I think when we
• 25:35
  humanize people and really, truly just see someone,
• 25:39
  it's like, oh, yeah, you know, I. I see you in
• 25:43
  me, too. And like, I'm. I'm. I just want to be here,
• 25:48
  wrap it up here towards the end. I guess
• 25:51
  one question I have for you is when things feel
• 25:55
  heavy in work or in life, I guess, what gives
• 25:59
  you hope for community? What. What keeps you
• 26:02
  going? Okay, what keeps me going?
• 26:07
  Seeing women who are choosing to show up
• 26:11
  for themselves every day, no matter what that looks like. But
• 26:14
  the. The successes, the victories that come out of that, and
• 26:18
  seeing families reunited like children being brought
• 26:22
  back to their families. I have a specific
• 26:26
  friend, longtime friend, actually, who just got through
• 26:30
  treatment. She's doing great. She is.
• 26:34
  She's choosing to get through all that stuff. We were just talking about trauma. She's
• 26:37
  choosing to dig at those roots of trauma so that
• 26:41
  she can leave a better legacy for her children. And it
• 26:45
  shows, right? There's. There's evidence of God in her
• 26:49
  life. She sees it. She acknowledges it, and. And
• 26:52
  she knows. She also knows that that doesn't mean things are going to be perfect,
• 26:56
  but just to see that light switch go
• 27:00
  on in her spirit, that's
• 27:03
  encouraging. So, yeah, it's not all bad.
• 27:07
  Yeah. Yeah. Is there anything that
• 27:11
  you feel it's on your heart to share that I haven't given you the opportunity
• 27:15
  to say yet? Anything. You just feel
• 27:18
  what to say? Well, I said a lot. I think that.
• 27:22
  Yeah, I'm just thankful. I'm thankful that you thought of me to bring me
• 27:26
  on. And again, anytime I can share
• 27:30
  what God has done in my life and I can actually
• 27:34
  speak about how it happened or whatnot,
• 27:39
  I pray that that gives hope to people who
• 27:43
  knows where you're at in your life. But, yeah, just. Just to encourage people who
• 27:46
  are listening that God is alive and
• 27:50
  he's real. He's alive and he. He wants to move in our lives.
• 27:55
  It's beautiful. Rosemary, your story is such a
• 27:59
  reminder that extraordinary care often looks like just
• 28:03
  showing up, loving people, and just being
• 28:06
  faithful to where God has placed you. And so thank you.
• 28:10
  Thank you for being here and thank you for sharing your story. Thank you. Thank
• 28:13
  you so much. The stories we share here remind us
• 28:17
  that care doesn't have to be perfect to be powerful.
• 28:21
  It just has to be present. Neighbourly is an initiative of
• 28:25
  Care Impact, a Canadian charity equipping churches,
• 28:28
  agencies, and communities with tech and training to care better
• 28:32
  together. Visit CareImpact CA or to find out more
• 28:36
  about the podcast, sponsorships, being a guest or a journey. Just dropping
• 28:39
  us a line. Visit NeighborlyPodcast CA. We'd love
• 28:43
  to hear from you. Check the show notes for the link or hop on our
• 28:47
  Care Impact Podcast group on Facebook to join our podcast community.
• 28:51
  I'm Johan. Thanks for listening and keep being the kind of
• 28:55
  neighbor someone will never forget in a good way.
• 29:00
  Turning over tables
• 29:06
  of building up the bridges between
• 29:09
  the stones of these Turning over
• 29:13
  tables Breaking off chains
• 29:17
  When I see you in a stranger I'm no
• 29:21
  longer a slave
• 29:25
  table Tearing down walls
• 29:30
  Building up the bridges between
• 29:34
  us all.