Latest / Leading Leaders Podcast with J Loren Norris / 5/5/2026 HOW TO MAKE SUCCESS YOUR T RESPONSE - ITS A CHOICE TO SPROUT ROSES FROM MANURE

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5/5/2026 HOW TO MAKE SUCCESS YOUR T RESPONSE - ITS A CHOICE TO SPROUT ROSES FROM MANURE · Leading Leaders Podcast with J Loren Norris

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  Subscribe now for our extensive video library of leadership
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  As a kid, I remember walking with my uncle through the
• 0:11
  pasture where all the cows and the horses were, and we would
• 0:14
  rerun the fence on a regular basis.
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  And I remember one time finding this beautiful little pink
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  flower sticking up out of the grass.
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  And as I walked to the flower, I thought, I'm going to pick that
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  and take it home to my mom. But then I realized this
• 0:28
  beautiful little pink flower, I don't know what kind of flower
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  it was, was growing from a pile of cow plot 1 pink flower
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  growing from a pile of cow flop. And I wasn't sure if I wanted to
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  take that home to my mom or not. I can tell you the whole lot of
• 0:46
  people whose lives are a lot like that flower.
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  And that's what I'm going to talk about in this episode of
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  Leading Leaders. You're going to want to be a
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  part of this. Subscribe now for access to our
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  faith, family, and freedom. Begin your personal growth plan
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  at storypoweracademy.com for leadership development and
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  communication. Join us, get away and relax.
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  I'm Jay Lauren Norris with Leading leaders Podcast.
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  There have been a whole lot of times in my life and I'm sure in
• 1:51
  your life that trauma just kind of comes at you.
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  I mean it, you seem like it attacks you out of nowhere.
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  I mean, we feel that way, right? We didn't plan for the car
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  accident, for the puppy to run away, for the catfish, catfish
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  who has pet catfish, for the goldfish to die.
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  We didn't plan for any of that stuff to happen.
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  But if you're a parent now, the chances are you've experienced
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  things in your life that you never planned to be a part of
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  your life. A special needs child, a lost
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  loved one lost too early, someone gone off to war that
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  didn't make it home. But the list goes on and on.
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  Of all the things that could happen, maybe even you've been
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  one of those people whose life has been impacted by the
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  behavior, the actions, the stupidity, the cruelty of
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  someone else. Someone who just decided I'm
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  going to do things my way and I don't care how it impacts you.
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  That might be financially, that might be relationally, that
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  might be emotionally, It might be the very first ever middle
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  school, high school breakup. It might be a parent or a step
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  parent who was a little tough, maybe even abusive physically,
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  verbally. The challenge that we have is
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  there are choices that we have to make as humans.
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  When those kind of things happen, we can't prevent them.
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  A lot of times they they just happen to us, around us, within
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  us, and we have to then choose what are we going to do with
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  them? I heard a great phrase at a
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  mastermind last week. A guy very casually said it, but
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  it rung like a bell throughout the entire room.
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  In fact, everybody in the room went, wow, that's good.
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  And he's like, what, what did I say?
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  And he had to back up a little bit.
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  But as we threw the phrase into the room, there were people who
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  were like, well, it's not necessarily.
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  And it's not technically, and it could be.
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  It's kind of an option. And I thought, you know what?
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  I want to make it an assignment and a declaration.
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  Now I'm going to tell you what he said and I'm going to tell
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  you what I believe. Through story power, you can
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  make an assignment in your own life.
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  It it can become an operating feature of your own life's
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  intention. You ready for this in the
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  mastermind, the person who was speaking very casually in the
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  course of this conversation said success is a trauma response and
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  then continued on with the strain of thought.
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  Well, there was nothing wrong with this train of thought.
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  Everything seemed to work really well.
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  But that phrase success is a trauma response meant it really
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  just jumped off the page. Everybody in the room went wow,
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  that's so good, that's so true. And he thought, I don't I don't
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  know what I said, but we reminded him.
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  Then we all discussed it. Now here's something that was
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  brought up in the room by others.
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  They said things like well success isn't necessarily a
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  trauma response. There are a lot of trauma
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  responses. Guilt is 1, shame is 1, pain is
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  1, diminished self worth is 1. Unfortunately, the options of
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  considering ending one's own life falls into that trauma
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  response category. A lot of people who've been
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  through therapy, especially trauma informed therapy, will
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  find that there's a lot of relational stuff, baggage that
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  gets all caught up in our life. Jack Canfield says E plus R = O.
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  It's the event, the trauma, the thing that happened, good, bad
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  or otherwise. I won $1,000,000 in the lottery.
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  Someone stole everything that I own, whatever that event is.
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  Plus the response equals the outcome, meaning you control the
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  outcome even though you can't control the event.
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  Trauma and success have an odd relationship.
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  So I look at it and say you can't control the event, but you
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  can control the response in order to get the outcome.
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  Which means if you know what the outcome is that you want, you
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  can change your response with the event E plus R.
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  They got to go together. You can't undo the event, but
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  how you deal with it is going to matter.
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  So success could be an option. Success could be your trauma
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  response. Success could be one of many
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  trauma responses. So here's the way I want to
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  phrase it. And this is all about your
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  intentionality. It's about looking at the R and
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  saying how will I respond to what happened?
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  Make success your trauma response.
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  I want to encourage you. I want to challenge you.
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  I want to dare you to make success your trauma response.
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  What does that mean? That means you're going to look
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  at the events of your life that were not favorable, The ones
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  that you feel like stole something from you that you
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  can't get back. Moved you into a place that you
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  can't get back from. Broke your heart, diminished
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  your will, stole your hope. Those moments, those events,
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  those incidences, those relationships, maybe even those
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  people can still serve a purpose in your life.
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  And they don't have to be the purpose of derailing you, of
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  destroying your hope, of stealing from you a future
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  that's bright and pleasant. Because the R is your choice.
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  Can't change the event. You can change your response.
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  Now where does story power come into that?
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  Well, there's at least two ways that story power comes into
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  that, and maybe more, but for certain two ways.
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  The first of which is I personally was a victim of
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  trauma at a young age. Within about a three-year
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  window, a whole lot of trauma. My parents divorced, my
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  stepfather was a bit abusive. My I, I was molested.
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  Then my stepfather died. All of this was in about a five
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  year window. All of it.
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  Lost my father to divorce, lost my stepfather to death, lost my
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  innocence. All of them had a very short
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  window of time in my life. And, and it's really easy to
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  look at that go, I'm a victim of abuse, I'm a victim of sexual
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  assault, I'm a victim of divorce.
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  I'm a victim of my mother being widowed.
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  I can label myself as a victim from all of those things.
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  I didn't cause any of them. I didn't make any of those
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  happen. They changed the outcome of my
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  life. They changed the direction of my
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  life. They changed the way I see
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  people. They changed the relationships I
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  have. I'm a victim, right?
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  No. I could say all these bad people
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  did bad things to me, or all these bad people did bad things
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  in life and it affected me. Or I can just say these things
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  happened. It's factual, they happened.
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  Do I have to let them decide who I am?
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  No. Do I have to make all the
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  decisions of my life based on those things?
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  No. Do I have to all to the
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  relationships I have with people today because of what happened
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  to me 40 some years ago? No, I don't.
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  But when I look in the mirror, if I see a victim and the story
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  that I tell is look at the victim, then the identity that I
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  have for myself, The Who that the world has told me I am, will
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  limit what I'm capable of. If you've experienced that, you
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  know exactly what I'm talking about.
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  If you know, you know. And let me also say, because
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  this is a hard truth to get your arms around, but there's more
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  than sufficient evidence. There have been people for whom
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  the event wasn't traumatic, destructive, terrible, horrible,
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  no good, very bad day. It was star quarterback, head
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  cheerleader, president of the debate club.
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  I, I remember sitting down with an investor, the guy next to me,
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  ACEO startup company I've been brought on to be a part of that.
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  I was kind of his number 2 at the time as, as this whole thing
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  was launching. And as we sat there with the
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  investor and one of the investors consultants, the
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  consultant asked the CEO, so tell me what's your biggest
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  failure so far in life? And the CEO honestly said, I
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  don't quit until I win. So I've never failed at anything
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  in my life. And the consultant about fell
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  out of his chair and he said, so you're so used to winning.
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  If you get told no, is that a failure?
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  And all of a sudden, the whole picture of you only learn to win
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  if you fail came into a new light.
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  It took me years later to be able to look back at that and go
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  as a leadership coach. I know there are a whole lot of
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  people who run into failure the first time and they quit.
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  But I know even more people who are so steeped in their ego
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  because in their eyes, they never lose.
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  So if you think trauma is an event that has a direct impact
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  on the outcome of your life, you got to manage the O.
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  Let me tell you something. Winning, succeeding has a direct
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  impact on the outcome of your life as well.
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  And that too demands of you a managed response.
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  And if you don't manage that response, there's no phrase.
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  Maybe you've heard it. Pride goes before the fall, when
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  the event is success, and then more success, and then more
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  success and then more success. I remember listening to Elena
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  Cardone talking about when the financial collapse hit everybody
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  that had a whole lot of money in real estate.
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  And she said, I watched my husband sitting in that chair
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  falling apart, almost in tears because he was convinced our
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  financial world was a disaster and things were only going to
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  get worse. These are her words, she said.
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  I looked him in the eye and I said, you promised me that if
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  you were part of my life, it would only get better.
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  This is not better and this is not acceptable.
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  Get in your office and don't come out until you have an
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  answer. And he locked himself away and
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  he wrote the book The 10X Rules and then changed the way he
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  operates in his business and has made a whole lot more money
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  since then. Now, was it success or was it
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  failure that drove him forward? And the answer is yes.
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  But to see that moment in his life was the little pink flower
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  sticking up over the top of the cow.
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  Blop. All of us at one point in life
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  have been delivered at CAPLOP. You can make a list of them if
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  you want to. You can make a list of all of
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  the bad things that have ever happened to you, the times that
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  you've been a victim. And trust me, I'm not minimizing
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  your trauma. I'm not saying that being a
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  victim, being on the wrong side of someone else's cruelty, bad
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  decisions, bad actions, bad behavior, bad worldview.
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  I'm not saying that that's your fault, and I'm not minimizing
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  that at all. Here's what I'm saying.
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  As long as you choose to look in the mirror and tell the story,
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  I'm a victim. Your outcome's not going to
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  change. You've got to change the way you
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  respond to what happened. You can't change what happened.
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  I get that. You can't undo the pain.
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  I get that. Trust me.
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  I get that. I walked through it.
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  I've had loss. I remember when I got the notice
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  I was on the road traveling when they called me and told me that
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  my mother had passed. I, I was kind of prepared for
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  that when I, I knew it was coming.
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  I mean, the dementia and the diabetes and the bed rest and
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  having been bed bound for an extended period of time, we knew
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  heaven was a better place for her and it was coming.
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  There was that double tension of I'll never get to hug my mom
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  again. I'll never get to have that
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  conversation with her again. That, that hurts, especially
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  since I was raised the only son of a single mom.
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  She was a very dear place in my life.
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  But I was able to walk through that announcement because I'd
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  had a chance to say my goodbyes when she was still cognitively
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  aware I had a chance to spend that time with her.
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  And so I kind of moved through that season fairly stable.
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  But two weeks after that, before we were even able to have the
• 15:28
  funeral for my mother, we had to put down a dog that we'd had for
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  almost 10 years. I broke over that one.
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  I that one hit me blind side. I wasn't ready for that.
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  I cried for an hour or two and I was on the job, on the road,
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  away from home, away from my family.
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  My wife was dealing with it at home.
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  The kids are dealing with it at home.
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  I'm on the road. I can't change that event.
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  I can't change the emotions. I can't change the way I felt.
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  But I can choose to change how I go forward.
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  I can choose to make that lesson the little pink flower in the
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  pile of the plop. I can choose to tell a different
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  story about that moment. I mean, I, I could spend the
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  rest of this episode telling you stories about that little dog.
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  He was an interesting little dog.
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  He thought he was a cat. If you took cat behavior and put
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  it in a dog, that was Mocha. If you ever met Mocha, you know
• 16:33
  that he would curl up in your lap.
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  We had friends that came over. One particular said, I'm
• 16:38
  terrified of dogs. If you could lock them up.
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  And I'm like, just give him a minute.
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  He'll grow on you. And he was like, I don't like
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  dogs. I've only ever been bitten by
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  dogs. But by the time that
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  Thanksgiving dinner was over, that man and that dog were best
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  friends. He followed him through the
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  house, climbed in his lap, appreciated his presence, just
• 16:58
  loved on him every way. But like a cat, he wanted to lay
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  behind his neck. He wanted to be up under his
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  arm. He wanted to climb into his lap.
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  He sleeps on the back of the couch.
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  He climbs to the top of everything in the house.
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  That dog thought he was a cat. I could fill the rest of this
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  episode with stories about that dog, and they may or may not be
• 17:18
  helpful to you. But I could also use stories to
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  remind you that some of the greatest losses in your life,
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  they're not just the loss of after they're gone.
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  It's the memories you had of while they were here.
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  It's not just the stories of what life is like after they're
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  gone, but the memories of what you had while they were here.
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  I want you to think through that for a moment because the stories
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  that you tell in the mirror, the stories that you tell amongst
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  your friends, the stories that you tell with your family, those
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  stories, that's the R. You can't change the event, but
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  you can change the way you respond and that will change the
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  outcome, and that's totally up to you.
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  So what is your response? Well, your response is a story.
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  Now, I told you there are two ways that those stories have
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  impact. Two ways the story power looks
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  at the E plus R = O equation and has an opportunity to make the
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  statement true. Make success your trauma
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  response. Here's how.
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  If you've ever sat with someone who's going through a rough time
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  and look, if you're a licensed therapist or a counselor and
• 18:42
  you've got different ideas than this, feel free to drop them in
• 18:45
  the in the comments below. I I don't want to debate you on
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  them. I know there are 1000 ways to
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  solve this problem. Or skin this cat, so to speak.
• 18:55
  Please don't skin your cat. They look ridiculous.
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  Afterward, you can sit with someone and just listen.
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  You can sit with someone and let them just vent as they're going
• 19:08
  through all of the trauma of the event that has happened.
• 19:13
  You can sit with someone and Share your story that resonates
• 19:18
  with them. When they say I just lost my
• 19:20
  pet, well, if you've ever had to put a pet down or you've ever
• 19:25
  had one run over by a car, had all of the above, even had one
• 19:29
  shot by a neighbor and one poison by a neighbor.
• 19:31
  I know what it means to lose a pet in some relationships.
• 19:37
  Sharing that story and saying, you know, here's what it was
• 19:39
  like for me and here's what I went through and, and here's how
• 19:42
  it happened. And here's what I did on the
• 19:44
  other side of it. In some relationships, that's a
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  phenomenal solution because they see that you've walked through
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  it. It's not the end of the world.
• 19:54
  There is a way to manage this pain.
• 19:56
  There is a a way to cope with this event.
• 19:58
  There's a way to get better, to heal.
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  Now there are people. You know them.
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  I know them. Who when that moment of crisis
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  happens, when that event happens, they shut down
• 20:11
  everything. They cover the windows with
• 20:15
  tinfoil. They lock the doors from the
• 20:16
  inside, They barricade themselves in their home.
• 20:19
  Sometimes literally, sometimes just emotionally.
• 20:22
  They block out everyone that ever cared about them.
• 20:25
  They want this to be a big, giant, hairy spider of a deal.
• 20:33
  They want this event to justify the misery that they feel.
• 20:40
  And for them, sometimes the story that, hey, I've been right
• 20:45
  where you are right now. I felt exactly the same pain.
• 20:50
  I stood over my stepfather's gasket.
• 20:53
  I stood over my grandmother's and my mother's.
• 20:56
  Well, she didn't have a casket because she chose cremation.
• 21:01
  But I've been to plenty of funerals of people that I love,
• 21:07
  and my life wasn't over when that was ended.
• 21:12
  And that was a choice. And in your life, post trauma,
• 21:20
  post eviction, post bankruptcy, post repossession, it's not the
• 21:27
  end, it's a chance. It's a choice for a new
• 21:31
  beginning. And if you're the kind of person
• 21:35
  who walks through an event like that and says, OK, that sucked,
• 21:40
  what's next? It wasn't ideal.
• 21:43
  It's not what I chose. That's not the event that I
• 21:45
  wanted. But I'm moving on because I'm
• 21:49
  not staying here. If you're that kind of person
• 21:52
  that the story you tell offers hope to the ones who are stuck
• 21:59
  there, For those people who are saying I, I, I don't know if I
• 22:03
  can ever get past this, well, sure you can, because I did, and
• 22:08
  I can tell you how. And if you'll become the kind of
• 22:11
  person who comes into tragedy like this and then moves
• 22:14
  forward, your life is going to be a whole lot better.
• 22:19
  Not everyone can, but almost everyone can.
• 22:24
  It's a choice now when you think about the events in your life
• 22:29
  that were disastrous, painful, hurtful, whether it's a choice
• 22:34
  that you made and the decision you made that led to a horrible
• 22:37
  outcome, or it was an event that happened that you had no control
• 22:40
  over. Some cruel, heartless person did
• 22:44
  something uncaring or unthinking or intentional and it changed
• 22:49
  the course of your life and the and the person that you are.
• 22:54
  You can choose to sit there or you can choose to respond
• 22:59
  differently and move forward. And when you choose to respond
• 23:02
  differently, not only is that good for you, but there's a
• 23:05
  really good chance you're the one standing on the outside of
• 23:08
  the quicksand bed when the instructions going, Let me tell
• 23:11
  you how I got out of there. Listen, life is full of
• 23:15
  pitfalls. Life is full of events that we
• 23:17
  can't plan, that we don't want, that we wish we could have
• 23:21
  avoided. Usually on the other side of
• 23:24
  them, we realize that is not going to be good.
• 23:30
  Post traumatic stress is a real deal.
• 23:32
  Soldiers and firefighters, nurses and nurses and parents,
• 23:35
  they all suffer it in some way or another.
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  It's not will bad things happen? I'm sorry, we live in a fallen
• 23:43
  world. Bad things are going to happen.
• 23:45
  The question is, how will you become the little pink flower
• 23:51
  growing out of the plot? How will you write your story in
• 23:54
  such a way that other people look at you and go, If they can
• 23:58
  do it, I can do it. If you made it through this
• 24:01
  event and chose a different response to create the outcome
• 24:04
  of success in your life, I can do it.
• 24:08
  If you know how, show me how. There are a whole lot of people
• 24:12
  who are stuck right now because the event has overwhelmed them.
• 24:16
  They're not sure that they have a choice to change the response.
• 24:20
  And if they do, they're not sure what to change it to or or how
• 24:23
  to execute it to make it something better in life.
• 24:25
  And if you have that secret, I dare you to give it to him.
• 24:32
  Don't accept that the trauma in your life has redefined you.
• 24:37
  You still have a chance to redefine that trauma.
• 24:40
  Change the outcome. Make success your trauma
• 24:45
  response. I'm Jay Lauren Norris with
• 24:48
  leading leaders podcast or tell it like it is TV.
• 24:52
  Have a blessed day. Think storytellings just for
• 25:02
  bedtime. Nah, it's the secret sauce for
• 25:05
  business magic. Stuck in a rut with bland
• 25:07
  pitches and yawning clients? Enter Boost your business with
• 25:11
  Story Power, Six weeks of epic storytelling training.
• 25:15
  It's like leveling up in a video game, but for your career.
• 25:18
  Master the art of narrative and watch connections blossom like a
• 25:22
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• 25:25
  changing. Ready to transform your biz
• 25:27
  vibes? Dive in now and make
• 25:29
  storytelling your superpower. This six weeks guided program is
• 25:34
  specifically designed for those people who say, I know I need to
• 25:37
  tell stories, I need to tell better stories because the ones
• 25:40
  I have are boring or they're not getting across or as John
• 25:43
  Maxwell says, everyone communicates And well, if you
• 25:46
  connect now as a participant in this course, what I would really
• 25:50
  love to know from you, put it in the discussion on the course.
• 25:53
  If you're already registered online, send me a chat, send me
• 25:56
  Adm, send me a text, send me an e-mail.
• 25:58
  I'd really love to know what you hope to get out of this course.
• 26:02
  I can tell you what we're going to discuss and I can tell you
• 26:05
  what I plan to teach and train you on, and I can tell you even
• 26:08
  what we plan to discuss each week on the calls for the next
• 26:12
  six weeks. I'm going to go over all of that
• 26:14
  for you in just a moment. I can also tell you that my
• 26:17
  clients who get the greatest success are the ones who apply
• 26:21
  the story power process to their business development to increase
• 26:24
  their impact, their influence, and their income.
• 26:27
  Now, the story power process includes story mining, story
• 26:31
  selection, story qualification, story crafting, connecting with
• 26:35
  your audience, and leading the narrative.
• 26:38
  And if you leave any one of those parts out, you're going to
• 26:40
  find that or you're just not as effective as you want to be.
• 26:43
  You're not going to grow your business to the same level.
• 26:46
  You're not going to lead with impact and influence like you
• 26:48
  hoped to. I can also tell you that the
• 26:51
  people who apply these things, well, they're not failing in
• 26:54
  their business. The reason a lot of people fail
• 26:58
  in their business is they continue to fail to connect the
• 27:01
  solution they offer with the problem that their clients have.
• 27:06
  The pain in the solution never come together, and a lot of that
• 27:09
  failure is because they're not clearly articulating how their
• 27:15
  solution solves someone else's problem.
• 27:18
  It comes down to a question, something like this.
• 27:21
  Who do you help and how? Yes, that's one of the first
• 27:25
  things we're going to discuss over the next six weeks of
• 27:28
  booster business with Story Power.
• 27:38
  Subscribe now for our extensive video library of leadership
• 27:41
  lessons promoting faith, family, and freedom.