Latest / The Steve Harvey Morning Show / Special Friends, Girl Talk, Black Card, Angry Self and more.

Transcript

Special Friends, Girl Talk, Black Card, Angry Self and more. · The Steve Harvey Morning Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Today's show is pre recorded. Y'all know what y'all don't know.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Y'all giving them like them things and it's not good.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: Steve Joy, you gotta turn very you gotta turn to
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: turn them out. Got to turn them out, to turn
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: turn the water the water. Come come on your bad
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: Uh huh, I sure will. I come on and everybody
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: you are listening to the voice, come on dig me now,
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: one and only Steve Harvey got a radio show. Well, okay,
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: here we go. You know what's important, What's what can
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: be a huge part of your success is if you
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: if you find a balance, if you find a balance
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: in your life. That's that's been very important for me.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: And I've really never phrased it this way until now,
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: but I was kind of thinking about it after my
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: wife and I mean we set up one night recently. Man.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: You know, I often come on here and this is
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: kind of an inspirational moment of the show, and I
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: try to remind people about that most important relationship between
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: you and God. And that's that's the apex of it.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: That's that's the that's the top of the crown. You
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: gotta form the relationship with God. If you don't everything
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: else struggles. It's hard to be a good husband without God.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: It's hard to be a good family man without God.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: It's hard to be successful without God. Man, it's hard
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: to be hard to get through this thing called life
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: without God. So that's clear. But at the same time,
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: you can't talk about God. Twenty four seven. You got
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: to go to work. Come on, man, let's just be real.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: I ain't I ain't your past, and I ain't at
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: your church. But let's just be real about it. You know,
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: if people tell you got to keep your mind stayed
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: on Him and all like that, that's that's a true statement.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: Gotta keep your mind stayed in that area. I don't
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: not here to tell you how to live, but you
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: got to keep your mind stayed in that area of God,
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: of doing the right thing, caring about people. That's what
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: I took it as. Now I could be wrong. I
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: apologize if I'm not saying that the way you've been taught.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: I can only do me now. But after that, you
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: got to go to work. You gotta have some fun,
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: You gotta take care of your business, and that's the
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: balance you have to find. So it once you focus
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: on shooing up your relationship with God, you got you
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: gotta balance this now. Now, you got to allocate some
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: time I don't care who you are, for your family.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: If you're gonna have a family, you got to allocate
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: some time for them. See, we can't just marry these
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: women or make these kids and then neglect them and fellas,
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: especially if I'm talking to me about him, Ladies, you
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: can listen to. But listen. If you find yourself struggling
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: in your life, man, and you can't seem to get
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: it together, Let's just go over a couple of things.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: The first two things, if you find yourself struggling, you
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: can't seem to pull it together and reach your goals
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: and get to where you want to go. Let's just
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: do a check how is your relationship with God? And
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: then next how much time are you taking to allocate
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: for your family? Now, your family don't always live in
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: your house, but if you made them, they yours and
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: the responsibility to them is never lessing because you don't
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: stay that no more. Because you and the girl broke up,
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: You and the woman don't speak a man that don't
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: ever release you from the obligation. Feel me when I'm
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: telling you this now, because I'm not telling you something
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: I'm wondering about. I've had to live through them years.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: So two things you can start looking at. If you're
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: not where you want to be, and you ain't, you
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: ain't really solid. You can't figure out why you keep
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: spending your wills. Have you just done a random inventory? Man?
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: Have you just checked on your relationship with God? Have
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: you checked on the time you spending dedicated towards your family,
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: your children that you've created? If them two things is
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: out of saint man, that I can tell you right now,
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: you can go on and get to explain in yourself
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: away just like that, a man, how come you ain't
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: where you want to be? I'm couz man, I really ain't.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: But if you really ain't, then you really ain't. The
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: third thing is you got to allocate the necessary time
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: for your business. You got to handle your business. All
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: of this, man, is the way it works, and the order,
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: the order is God first, family second. Then you got
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: to handle all your business. But as men, and this
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: is what we do. If I don't handle my business,
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: I can't take care of my family, true statement. But
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: if your business is in front of your family, you
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: out of order Nah, that's all we're talking about, now,
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: ain't it. See That's that's all we really saying here now,
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: fellas you know, you know, I mean, I mean, come on, man,
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: you know, let's let's have a real conversation about being better.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: You know, if you have created these children, you got
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: to handle your business. You may not like the girl
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: no more. You and the woman might have broken up,
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: y'all might go your own way, But what that got
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: to do with the child though, Man, you got to
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: handle your business. They got to know who daddy is.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: That's your obligation, man, And God ain't letting you off
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: the hook for that. Try go ahead and try it,
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: and thank you. Gonna get off the hook with that
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: because you're not man, You just not. I'm sorry, man,
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: dog Steve, Why are you coming like that? Because I
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: did it like that. I did it, man. I was
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: over here trying to reshape my life, getting myself up
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: on my feet when I was a homeless man and
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: trying to come back. Man, I thought I had to
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: take care of me first and then so I can
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: neglect it care about them kids. Man, That ain't high work. Man,
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: God kelp us knee on my neck for a long
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: time for that one right there, until I finally learned
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: the lesson hold up man, put these phone calls in,
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: Go spend some time, do something, And then it started
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: turning around for me. You know, I can't beat there
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: all the time because I am out here on the
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: ground in the hustle. But at the same time, man,
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: some more phone calls, some more letters, somemohaha, he he's something,
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: Then take care of your business man. You got to
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: work hard to be successful. You know. Sometimes I don't
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: put that in there. I just live in and I
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: expect my sons to emulate that. But I gotta talk
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: to him all the time. How hard you got to
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: work to be something. It's all out of salt on it. Man.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: If you gotta target in mind, you gotta go. You
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: gotta wake up every day trying to get there, and
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: you can't get tired of it because it's it's it
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: never ends. You're gonna always be this way. That's how
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: life is designed and set up. You got to be
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: a hard worker. Man. If you're always looking for some
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: time to chill and man, I wanta go do what
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: I want to do, you ain't gonna make it in
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: order to be successful, you have to do a series
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: of things that you're uncomfortable doing, and work is the
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: thing that most of us are uncomfortable doing. It's so
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: much easier to chill, man. I wish I could kick
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: back with a cigar man all the time, but I can't, Man,
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: I can't because I got to work. Then the last
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: piece of the balance, balance piece is you gotta take
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: some time out to enjoy yourself. But if you ain't
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: where you want to be, you ain't got a lot
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: of time to enjoy yourself. Quit thinking, man, that this
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: balance is even. It's a whole lot of God, a
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: whole lot of family, a whole lot of business, and
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: a little bit of chilling. The chilling can't be equal
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: to the family, the business, or your God. If the
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: chilling is equal to any of them, you ain't gonna
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: make it. Quit chilling, man, and go to work like
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: a man. Do what you post to do. Work on
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: your family, work on your relationship, work on your God,
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: work on your business. And then when you chill, you
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: might not chill is long, but your show gonna chill bigger.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: You're gonna ball bigger babies. You're listening, ladies and gentlemen,
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: boys and girls, this is not quiet stool. This is
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: Steve Harder deserving his voice because it's leaving him and
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: overworked and have decided that I've got to slow it down. So,
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: ladies and gentlemen, this show will be ran today by
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: two foods. And I want to apologize for anything happening.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: And Shirley and uh Carla, I want to say good
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: luck to both of you because you are going to
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: have a tough time controlling two foods normally being you know,
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: just ignorant. I am here to provide some type of stability,
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: but I won't be able to to my boys quad.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: Really don't don't, don't, don't, don't backtalk me, and now
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: she won't these knuckles on your lips. So ladies and gentlemen,
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: Shirley Strawberry, good morning, Hey, No, you ain't got to
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: get him in stony see good morning, good morning, good morning, Yeah,
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: good morning. You didn't tell me junior morning, I ain't
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: jan Yeah, you can't Jake what your dinner? Eve? Wow,
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: that's the after birthday voice. Birthday still how you know? Birthday?
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: Happy belated birthday again forty two years old. Stop that
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: last I'm going with um, I'm going with eighty three
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: eighty three. And see when you tell people you eighty three,
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: they go, no, you look so good. Well, y'all go
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: ahead and take it over. You gotta help you what
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: yeah yeah yeah, but see still, you know everybody go
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: down sometimes it's all right. I gotta put check my
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: boys and got shows to do today, tomorrow, all this weekend.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: I don't get another off day for a minute. So
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: I'm waiting on an assistant who posted Ben Hills of
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: damn throat coat. But his ass saint here? Well, you
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: know what, I ain't gonna be saying his ass ain't here.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: Too many motens. Did you speak to the nephew, because
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: one time it's gonna be his ass ain't here. No
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: moment you didn't speak to the nephew. I really didn't
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: think it was. This morning. I got you. I got
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: your over worked. Well, let's be real about it. You're
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: not underpaid. We gotta you're not underpaid. Represent We got
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: you today. Let your throat down anymore, set your throat
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: right over there. Want to take you want to take
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: it out bag right here? We got you said that
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: years ago. We were on the radio just in La
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: and Steve fell out. You had to take your throat
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: out and look at this. Remember that day? Wow? Okay, well,
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: how was your birthday? Oh? It was great. I'm still celebrating.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: Still celebrating, man, I'm not supposed to have a whole
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: lot of cake. We had a little celebration at the
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: comedy club, the Jay Spot. It was one hundred and
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: eighteen comedians came. Wow, no, no, no, no, no no, no, no,
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: about three hundred and forty. Oh well that's there. Must
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: have been at another club. Talk more about Jay's birthday
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: when we come back on something funny. Had a date
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: last night. Yeah, you're listening, all right, Steve. You are
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: the resident relationship expert on the show, no question. Uh.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: And you know there are some folks involved in a
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: friends with benefits situation. You know a lot of people
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: you know in those kind of relations and ships. But
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: there are boundaries, of course, as in any relationship, you
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: should still be honest and not take the situation for granted,
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: though a few mishaps could land you back in the
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: friendship zone with a quickness, of course, and even if
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: the arrangement is super casual, then Tommy becomes the expert.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: You know, yeah, yeah, keep it. So here we go.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: All right. So if someone is lying or not being
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: honest about their intentions, well you know it's bad news
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: for you because you know, look, eventually all everything comes
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: to lights. You might as well if you're just gonna
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: be friends or benefits just being honest. Okay, money, here's
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: the money. Let me hit this. Look yet, I don't
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: love you. Oh my gosh, I'm just being real about
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: what we're doing and what we're doing. We vocal with it.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: I'm honest, my intentious. We gonna do this till we
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: don't want to do this no more. This ain't aboudy
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: no love. Matter of fact, we're doing it from We
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: can't even make eye content because this ain't love at all.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: Don't don't gaze at me, but you look at me,
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: you look at me, or you look back at me.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: Don't look back at me when we're in the moment,
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: look faward, don't look back. Don't look back. That's that's
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: in the moment. You in love, don't do that. That's
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: just that's brutally acting jealous, not allowed good. Uh. You
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: know it's a little tough man when you having arrangement
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: and you know it's just friends for benefits because the
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: other person could have somebody, and so being jealous it
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: is just you puppost to being able to play a
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: little bit better. It ain't your turn that part. When
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: I show up with my wife? What is your live far?
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: That is wrong with you today? Today? What is wrong
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: with you? And why is you texting me? You'll see
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: him over here, talk about this. If you walk past
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: me and my wife one more, Dan, you're gonna get
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: your lip back here. You're repaid for when did you
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: got your boy here? Who? Okay, here's another one. Guys,
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: assuming yes is forever instead of yes for now? Play
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: your position well, you know, if if you've agreed to
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: be with somebody more period of time and you know
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: that's all it is, that's all it is. You really
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: can't expect nor more than that. Nobody always catch feelings up?
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: Oh my, you know goodness down, didn't this for six months?
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: You know that, you know we're not gonna last no longer.
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: Ain't no sense and you won the Christmas gonna go
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: with you. You ain't been to getting out of that
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: Christmas now now but October we're gonna fade up out
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: of here. Oh man, I don't be looking about to
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: break red hair ticket down. I've been doing that. Christmas
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: is December twenty six, and to deal with it, deal
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: with it, don't okay? Okay? Moving on? Uh No, dissing aloud,
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: disappearing acts without explaining what's happening, okay, can't do it? Well?
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: You know, um it's kind of touchy because you know,
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: at the end of the day, you know, if you
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: say you're gonna be here, no, you should be here.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: It's an agreement and thement that we have true. Yeah,
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: because if I don't know where you at, you might
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: be outside my damn house and that could get Uglily
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: on vacation with my damn What is you? What? What? What?
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: And no, you don't get a vacation. I can't go
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: nowhere with you. Yes, those are pictures we took, so
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: I don't want to hear about the disappear Why did
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: I leave while you was in the shower because she
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: was calling me. I have to go the sitting and
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: wait on you to get out. We still with what
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: we was doing. This when is helping somebody? It's all
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: about helping. Man, were here to help. Why I can't
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: get a vacation if she get one. I got facebooks
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: somewhere as we fiss the girl. And why do I
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: have to keep having the same damn conversation. You're gonna
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: miss rownd beout disagreement. That's what being wet disagree. Okay,
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: when we when we said, you know we're friends would
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: benefit you knew I had kids, and you said you
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: know you would sometimes take them out occasionally. You know
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: you would be nice to my children. You know your
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: friends would benefits and you did say you just gonna
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: take kids out. They kids, You don't have things in
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: the forward too. You gotta ade of your obligation at
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: least get them to the park. Huh hear me, damn kid,
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: you see my profile on face man with kids, your
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: kids an damn kids see you also where the kids
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: need to match up up? And your kids been not
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: speak to me when they see me out damn it
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: running up on me before. Why are they running over
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: here to go the lagment? Right here? Mister, you're listening
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: Steve Harvey Morning Show. It's trying to run that frank
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: back trumper casket, tromper cass. You look around the room
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: when he said comation, Well, I need confirmation for somebody
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: to trumple cast run that cat idiot triple cast Jenkin's mortuary.
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: This is calforna man. Help you how you calping? How
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: you doing? My name is Brandon Man or Brandon Giles.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: Uh okay, I'm calling. We've got somebody that has passed
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: actually three people we passed away. Well, I thank you
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: for that, man. It was kind of expected, so you know,
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: it wasn't something that caught us off guard. But you know,
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: but all in all, you know, we're still grieving about
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: losing our loved ones. But but I wanted to give
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: you all a call. We're trying to um pick a
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: particular funeral home on who we want to um take
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: care of. Yes, yes sir, yes sir, okay, we can
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: definitely help you with that. And uh, once again, I
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: just want to to you know, just let you know
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: that we can pretty much do the whole game, that
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: we can make sure that your need to take them
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: from you know, from from now on, UM, we're here
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: for you showing to get that out. What is your
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: mean need? Uh? You said three people? Sir? Yes, yes, yes,
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: I wanted to bring attention to you. Do you guys
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: customize caskets. Yes, we do goal plating, uh, engraving. We
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: even have a new thing where we can put the
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: picture of the personality outside, like a semigloss coating a
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: couple of hours. Yeah, I don't. I don't need that all.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: No goal or nothing like that. Listen, listen. What I
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: want to do. Is it any way that you could
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: maybe uh customize a casket that can accommodate three people?
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: Um uh? Yes, like we we can. We can customize
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: each individual casket for each individual. No, no, no, no, Calvin,
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: I didn't want to ask. What I'm saying is if
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: I want to like like I like I said, d
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: my could they was all close? You know, I don't
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: have a problem with all three of them being in
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: the same casket. I get you. Um uh you know,
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: to my I, as far as I've been in this business,
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: I've never uh. I'm not really sure we can actually
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: do that. I mean, I mean, I mean, what's the
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: problem if we can get them all in there? And well, sir,
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: I mean I think that's a I don't even think
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: if for one, it's legal in this state or any state,
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: three people in one casket? Um, and ethics wise, I
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: uh that's not really something that how can I say that?
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: We actually? You know, but if you customizing a casket, Calvin,
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: then you ought to be able to put as many
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: people in there if you make it deep enough and
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: wide enough to get three people in there. Right. Well,
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: the customization is is the outer side of the casket.
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: And maybe you know some people, uh even put TV
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: screens on the inside or some of their their their
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: loved ones, memorable mementos. We customize it for that, you know,
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: color wise. So what about when when is a person
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: real big uh you know, a heaven said person, you know,
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: you gotta have a casket that can accommodate them, right, yes?
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: But okay, so so you ought to be to put
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: you ought to be able to put three people in
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: one casket if they can fit, if you put two
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: one way in one the other other way, then you
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: ought to be able to have all three of them
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: in there at one time. Um, is there anybody else
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: around you and your family that can help talk with
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: me about this? I'm talking right now. I'm trying to
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: get I'm trying to accommodate my cousins and get them straight.
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: And I'm asking you can we get them in a casket.
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: That one casket that can accommodate three people. If you
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: put two pillars on money in one pillars, that's not
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: something we're really that ain't just used to doing, Calvin.
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: But I'm calling you telling you that's the way I
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: want this customize. Man. All right, brother, look brother, brother,
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: just just chill out with customs, all right. So we're
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: trying to get three people. Yeah, I have a standard plan.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: It'll be a low end standard plan for three individual
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: caskets that we ain't gotta. We all have enough money
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: for three individual caskets. I keep telling you that we
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: got room for one casket. We we just need to
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: big enough, man, so you could get everybody in. Then
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: close the dope. I'm not gonna I'm not. I don't
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: want to go back and forth with you, sir. I
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: know this is a time. Then go. You ain't gotta
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: go back and forth with me. Building to our knees.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: I can bear my family. It's I don't really know
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: what to tell you, sir, but I'm just really trying
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: to help. I'm trying. Won't you tell me you're gonna
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: get three people in the casket looking good? We cannot
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: do that. You houling that man. So I'm the one
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: going through bereathing. I understand that. But you are, you're
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: you're you use the foul language. It. We can't do it, brother,
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: you hear me. No, no, no, hold on my cousin.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: Them said they wanted to be U. No, sir, no
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: we can okay. Look, look, hey, man, y'all gonna bury
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: these three people and you're gonna put all three of
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: them in the same damn casking man two two on one,
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: one on one end and one on the other. One. Man, sir,
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: if you're drinking, just ain't nobody let me tell you something. Man,
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: Let me say this to you. Your name Calvin, right, yes, yes,
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: it is okay, so Calvin, Calvin, let me say this
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: to you. Either y'all gonna bury my cousin is the
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: way I want it, or Calvin, you're gonna get your
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: who you're talking to. That's what's going now, now, no, now,
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: that's it, right there, sir. I've been trying to be
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: as professional as I can. This whole conversation. It's as
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: crazy as it is. But now it ain't nothing crazy
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: about No, no, no no, no, no, I told you I
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: want you to Bury, my cousin, come on down here.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: I got some place to put your body and your
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: cousin's body. How about that? Huh? Yeah? Because you know
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: you don't You don't sound too damn confident. You don't
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: sound too confident, Calvin, I'm gonna tell you right now.
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you right now, this ain't the place
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: and I'm not the one you will be in the
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: ground messing with us better fact, if you come here,
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna you up. How about that? Okay, Calvin, Okay, Calvin,
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: let me tell you something, Calvin, me and Tommy gonna
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: be down there to day. Then I'm bringing Tommy with me.
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: Who it's Tommy? Huh? This is nephew Timmy from the
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: Steve Harvey Martin Show. Baby, you just got prank, Calvin, Yo,
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: y'all have me ready to whip somebody? Tell y'all, I
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: just want to know who put you up to this,
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: Reginald that works. Yes, I'm gonna I'm gonna Reggie you
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: bet watch with you drink you bet watch with your team.
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: I'm on your to revenge. Man. Hey, Calvin, give me this. Man,
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: what's the baddest and I mean the baddest radio show
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: in the land. Man. You know, it's nothing but the
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: Steve Harvey Morning Show. Y'all. Y'all got me, got me,
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: got me feeling me? Anybody feeling you know I am
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: anybody feeling I'm not feeling, trust me. It's some people.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: Right now we're staking okay each other. I like that too.
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: Tommy hid hidden shelter all the way up. Thank you.
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: Coming up more of the Steve Harvey Morning Show right
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: after this. You're listening to Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right, Steve,
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: Jay and Junior are here with some pointers for people. Okay,
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: So no matter what you're into, whether it's drinking alcohol
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: or smoking legally, now, this is how you know when
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: you've had enough and it's time to what put and
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: put it down down? Yeah, it's time to put it down. Okay.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: When you got your light on your phone, your light
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: is on your phone and you're looking for your phone,
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: it's time to put it down. Yeah. Yeah, that's that's
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: absolutely truth. It's in your hand. Junior got one, Yeah,
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: and all mine is real. I don't care if he
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: is listening to this morning, but this is what he
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: gonna stop. Uh look him. Uh if you if you
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: stayed drinking old Eat. But every time here police siring
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: you grabbed me. Put the old eat down. You don't
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: need to drink this. No, I'm tired to tear my
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: clothes police, but I'm not going to sit here with
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: dudes with Rusk Jake he know who he is. No,
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: put it down. Okay, all right, it's three o'clock in
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: the morning. You're throwing out of trinking to make Thanksgiving
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: donner and it ain't even Thanksgiving. It's time to put
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: it down time. It's just Tuesday. Yeah, it's just too
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: he he got another. If you say, what huh in
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: the conversations modified tack what, it's time to put it down?
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: H Yeah, you're right, huh what what? What? Huh? I
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: got one? Here we go. If you like what you're
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: smoking on both ends, it down light on both ends. Yeah,
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: you got one off. Okay, Hey, lets tell you something.
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: If I come over your house and I walked up
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: stairs and you playing PlayStation and you got the headphones on, dog,
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: whatever you is you're doing, it's time to put that down.
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: You down. You talking to her head says, put a
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: place control in your hands. You smoke? You know what
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: this happened with a friend of mine. If you drive it, yeah,
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: and we have said it this light and it didn't
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: change greens three times. Yeah we still yeah. But staring
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: at the witch, you get time for you put it down.
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: It's time time for it down. But you you decide
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: to make a cake and you waiting for the cake
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: to be done. You got all the ingredients in the pan,
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: but what you did was you stuck it in the
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: dishwasher and you waiting. Yeah, put it down, put it down.
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: You don't need Yeah, I got if you don't got
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: hungry and you don't decided you want some pinto be
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: and you soaking them and you just get them spoon
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: and sit down and started down. You got to quit smoke.
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: You got it. Let me tell you something. Don't tell
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: you something right now. If you come out the bathroom
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: and your bam towel don't make it to the other side.
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: You come out, told hey, somebody called me, Hey man,
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: it's time to put it down. Y'all. Saw me gonna
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: need to be that damp. We can't see this all right,
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: You get the work. You get the work. You have
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: to go to the restroom and you find out you
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: got on three pair underwear. It's time there. I don't know,
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: but you got prepared for home. But you told somebody
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: if you live in Chicago and it's one below zero,
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: that's cold, yes, and you standing outside with the cigarette
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: smokers and all it is smoking a cigarette, but you're
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: smoking your own. You're doing weed instead of a cigarette.
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: You got to quit. I'll tell you. I'll tell you
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: what if every time I'm sitting alone with you and
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: you say you hear that, Hey, hey, I can't watch
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: the game, figure out what the hell yours? You get hungry?
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: You you say you're hungry, and you come back at
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: the kitchen and you eat macaroni straight out the box,
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: straight out right box. Right. It goes with those pencil
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: beans from earlier. If you didn't pop some popcorn in
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: the MiCT way, yeah, open it up hot, ain't all
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: the pop corn? Yeah? And you're now trying to down
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: them colonels. That's what I'm on, pop seeds. You're just
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: over there dealing with it too much. Yea, that's way
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: too much. Okay, I'm taated right now, dated right now,
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: I'm sinking uncaus he keeps doing this. But I'm telling
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: this gotta put this down. If I come over there
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: and I see in the front yard and you and
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: your pit bull the same weight, both y'all won twenty five,
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: you gotta put this down. You and your dog ain't
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: scaring nobody cut at the hard poses out, nobody's shaking
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: your dog leading you. All right, more of this crazy
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: ignorant show. Steve Harvey Morning Show. Right after this, you're
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: listening to show, all right, Steven's that time again. Please
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: introduce your good good friend Jay Anthony Brown. Let's look
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: into his mind, Ladies and gentlemen, the dark, demented and
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: troubled man, a bitter, broken up, love starved man. Here
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: we go. There's a new game out. I don't even
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: know the name of it, but it has to do
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: with being black or went in the black card? Have
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: you heard about this, Shirley, get your black cards in anyway.
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: I have some questions that will let you know if
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: you should receive black card. We got points that goes
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: with here we go. First question, have you ever eaten
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: rice or baby rice and sugar butter and Rice? Give
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: yourself five points? Yeah? Have you ever played the game
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: That's My Car? Have you ever played a game that's
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: my car and you didn't have a car. Give yourself
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: three points, yes, or if you got your get yourself
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: call points. Is there anyone white that you'd like to
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: have sex with? Take away two points? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: hold on, let me take my two points away. Here
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: we go, all right. Have you ever fixed have you
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: ever fixed anything with a knife, fork, or a spoon?
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: Give yourself six points? Put that down there? Oh, I'm
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: back up, back up, all right, all right, here we go.
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: Have you ever put something in front of the oven
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: to dry? Four points? Give yourself four points for that?
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: Have you ever wash your face with a dish cloth?
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: Give yourself two points for that one? Right there? All right,
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: I got that. Sorry, all the bath tiles was really
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: dished out, but go ahead. Yeah, you're right. Have you
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: ever made fun of somebody shouting in church? Give yourself
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: three points? Okay, went to church for that? Oh, not
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: for the words. My comedy career started as a ten
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: year old. Action. Have have you ever had a sandwich
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: inside the wrapper that it came in? Have you ever
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: had that? Meaning? Have you ever made a sandwich with
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: just the end pieces of bread? Give yourself four points?
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: That's okay. Last question, last question. Have you ever eaten
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: a piece of candy that an old person pulled out
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: of there bra and you eat it anywhere? If you
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: have not done anything. I was younger and didn't know where,
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: but I didn't do that. I didn't know I got
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: another one Jay sandwich that only contained condiments. All right,
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: all right, all right, we'll be back with more of
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: the Steve Harvey Morning Show. Thirty four minutes after reading
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right, guys,
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: it is time Steve for comedy roulette. You're ready. Jay
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: explained it again. Let me break this down. We have
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: new listeners who don't have any idea of what we're
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: doing comedy that very simple. Give us five subjects five
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: anything you want? Put them on a wheel. Yeah, spun
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: the wheel. We stop. Spun Spun it around as in
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: to be spun around as a spin. That's totally different. Red.
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: Spun it around. Stop. We'll do the damn thing. Here
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: we go, all right. Number one things you say to
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: yourself when you're mad at someone. Number two you know
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: it's time to go to the store. When dot dot
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: dot Number three stuff you don't like to watch, but
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: you watch it anyway to keep them happy. You know
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: we all know about that home or him whatever. Number four.
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: Number four, you know she's not coming back when okay,
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: number five, people who never chip in come home. Let's
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: go cat, let's spin whoa it came on? Number one.
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: Things you say to yourself when you're mad at someone.
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: Say to you yourself when you're mad at someone. I canna.
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: Here's some things you say to yourself when you're mad
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: at somebody. I'm gonna let it go this time, but
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: the next damn time. Oh, it's gonna be hell up, hell,
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: it's gonna be hell. Just when I always say to
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: myself when I'm mad at other people, I'm trying not
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: to go jail. I'm doing my best. Say I'm calling
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: my best right now. I'm trying not to go to jail.
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: You're really mad? No, no, you're mad, court dates everything
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: you come, my nephew. You know what, you know what,
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: it's all right. Drink that water that I put up in,
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: that drink that drink that all right thing should say
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: to yourself when you're mad at someone. Steve, go ahead on,
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: you better go ahead on. Now this is black. That's
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: all it is. Go ahead. Then you say to yourself
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: when you're mad at somebody, Lord, please work with me, Jesus,
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: please please, Father, father, take me down so I don't
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: kill us. That's why I always say that I'm always
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: mad somebody. It's just something you said before to somebody.
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: That's why your ass broke. Now that hurt, Jun, that hurts,
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: But you say it to yourself, you know that's that's
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: that's why I got another woman. That's right here. I
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: ain't got code you say to yourself with your stupid sound,
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: just like Oh I heard you say that. It was
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: too like you. Oh my god, I'm talking. My mom
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: was talking to me than you say to people when
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: you mad at him and die. It's gonna get up
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: out of hill about Facebook? All right? You take us home? No, no, no,
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: what I got you. Let's tell this says a lot
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: of my family. I'm calling crime stopping. They ain't gonna
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: get a tip today. You will? Yeah, so glad that
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: ain't my beast? Oh why never? You tell me? As
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: a prank phone call coming up right after this, you're
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: listening to show coming up at the top of the hour,
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: right about four minutes after it's my strawberry letter for
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: today's subject. He wants to skip the best part. He
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: wants to skip the best part. But right now, nephew
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: in the building with today's prank phone call what you
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: got now? Oh? You know surely there's a lot of
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: people with different occupations. Yeah, this one right here is
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: the blind Baba. The blind bab let him cutch. You
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: come on, hell, yeah, I'm trying to reach up that
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: run the buck. Yeah you now you run the barber
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: shop down there, aren't you? Okay? Now, I'm trying to
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: see if if y'all got any uh boot round us
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: down there where I can come in there and cut
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: them high. I've been cutting how a long time. I
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: want to see if y'all got some room down there.
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: They tell me you might, you might have had something
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: come available. I got two boots open right now, you
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: need a boot. Yeah, I'm trying to get in there
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: and get the cutting. Now. You now how much you
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: charge for bootfronts on a weekly basis two hundred dollars
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: a week, two hundred dollars eight hundred dollars a month.
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: That they're good because your two hundred. Now, when can
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: I get down there so you can meet me? You
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: know when we can show me round the shop so
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: I can know what I'm open from eight to seven.
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: That's that's two to two saddest, all right, because I
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: want to see if I can maybe meet you there
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: so I can get down there. And you're feeling my
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: way around? Well, come on, then, what I want to
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: ask you? Do you mind doing for me? Do you
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: think you could possibly put up some ramps where you
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: got steps at and uh and your phone? Could you
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: take your mind if you take the phone and put
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: it in brail for me? Oh wait, wait, wait, man,
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: what the hell I need to put my taking ramp
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: side and putting phones in and brill for what was
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: going on with you? Well, I'm blind. You know I'm
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: not gonna let that stop. Men, you know I'm still
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: gonna Oh no, no, no, no, hell no, man, you
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: wait minute, you what? I'm blind? But see, but I've
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: been cutting my hair for over ten years, and folks
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: say my hair could always look good. So I just
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: figuring I'm gonna start cutting half not oh well, yeah,
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: what you might cut a hand and it might be
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: some good that you do, but just ain't cutting nor
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: had in my shop not being glad that yeah, ain't
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: that my shot? Man? No what ain't got no problem
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: with that, but but you you just can't do it now,
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: well wait wait nothing to see this is what they
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: call it scrimination. You can't do that. You can't scriminated
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: from people you're calling. They got some type of handicap
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: blowns to him. You listen, hold let me. Can't you
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: something man? I'm not trying to be trying to put
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: you out of being a dog doing what you need
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: to do. But you just can't do that, my shot. Man.
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: I can't be calling discrimination, scrimination, scrimination or what not
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: not not shot. You just can't do it, baby, listen
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: not I know how to cut her. I know how
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: to give folks aligning and stuff like now. I ain't
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: trying to use no razor or nothing like that. But
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: I don't know, man, come home, dude, listen. Can't you
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: find something else to get into beside trying to cut out? Well,
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: this is what I liked though, This is what I
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: feel like. This my calling. You just can't do it
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: in my shot. I'm sorry, I know because to see
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: now that's what I don't I don't care to hear
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: something like this here. Now I've been I got the
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: qualify ocasions and I'm able to do it, and I
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: want to be able to come down now. And I
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: told you when I heard what I tell you, I
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: said I wanted to feel my way around. Didn't I
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: say that I don't need to feel your way down.
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: I need you to be able to see what you're doing.
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't care about you be ain't able
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: to cut no out being blind. You got to be
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: able to see to do that. This could probably do
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: to do wonders for your shot. People to come from
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: miles around to see somebody like myself cutting that kind
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: of shot. Did you hear what I said? I heard
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: what you said when I don't want you to do
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: it make me mad about this? Now you're gonna get
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: mad about something a bit blown to me. I'm offering
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: and you can't read it. That you're blind, doctor, I
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: can't help you when you run. Main't go on with that.
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: Now listen, I'm gonna tell you this here, and I'm
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: gonna tell it to you strength. I'm coming down now
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: to that barbershop. I'm gonna feel it boots out and
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna start cutting now. One thing I don't want
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: to do and have to get into no tussle with you. Now,
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: I don't want that. It was about getting no trusting
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: with me because you bring your up in my shot
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: that much, you're gonna cut it and he's gonna be
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: some plunge you move around him. But I'm coming down
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: there and I'm coming down that is evening. Now. One
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: thing you know where you gonna keeping with my shot.
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: You're gonna you're gonna get you what my blind man
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: and what you're gonna do, you ain't gonna see it
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: coming either. You hit mena bring you as long as
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: I got the money to pay my bool rental, you
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: gonna give a damn. I don't want your money. You're blind,
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: ain't cut no man shot. You understand what I say
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: to you. I'm understanding what you're saying. And if I
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: got to call the law about you being discriminal law,
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: you can call anybody you want to call. That's money.
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: You're not gonna do that. You understand what I'm telling you. Now,
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: you bring you now the time I couldn't hand money,
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: you won't. I'll be waiting on you. I'm I'm coming
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: down that this evening and I'm coming and I'm coming
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: to up y'all because you got the nerve. The discriminal
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: ain't gives me. I don't know. I got my coming
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: the first Who game you? Mom? No, you're nothing doing
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: hot fish. You see they give me, They give me
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: this number and say you is the one that do
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: the hiring round the barber shop. You don't call my
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: personal number. You called my shopper. Who call you money? No,
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: what difference do that make if I'm some man looking
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: for a job. See, you don't call my personal phone.
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: You're gonna watch your tone with me. What you're gonna do?
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: I ain't gonna watch them. Don't you bring in my shop?
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: I tell you one thing you're gonna watch. You gonna
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: watch me get on your just eve? Why are you
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: gonna get on? You can't save me? And I'm gonna
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: hang up on you. I got one more thing I
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: need to say to you than This is nephew timing
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: from the Steve Harving Morning Show. You just got pranked
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: by you, Oh cousin, Hey, mister, I got to ask you, man,
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: what is the baddest I'm talking about the baddest radio
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: show in the land, The Steve Harvard Moaning Show. Nothing
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: wrong with a blind man trying to cut him hair.
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Just let him feel his
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: way around your head. It ain't nothing wrong with it.
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: You play to mine. That man had a job calling
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: man want to man want to work, You want to
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: work and own his own and you know, do his own.
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: You know, let that man had it wrong with a
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: blind man first drink bald you had a head full
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: of hair. All right, nephew, thank you so much. Coming
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: up next Strawberry Letters. Subject he wants to skip the
• 50:55
  Speaker 1: best part. We'll get into it right after this. You're
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: listening Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right time now for
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: today's Strawberry Letter, and listen. If you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: and more, Please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey
• 51:13
  Speaker 1: FM and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: your letter live on the air, just like we're gonna
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: read this one right here today. All right, buck it
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: up and hold on tight. We gotta fight you here.
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: It is the Strawberry Letter. Subject he wants to skip
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: the best part. Here's Stephen Shirley. I am a seventy
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: year old woman with raging hormones like a thirty year old.
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: I love making love to a man that knows what
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: he is doing between the sheets. I met this man
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: about a year ago from an online dating site. After
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: five months of talking on the phone, we decided to
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: get together. Now. I've always thought of love making as
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: an art, and if you're not an artist, I am
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: not looking for a painter. I know my performance is
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: very artistic, or so I have been told. I like variety,
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: nothing too kinky, but the little variety. I told my
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: boyfriend that he will get quality if he gives quality.
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: I am big on getting things started in the right
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: way and not just jumping right to it. My boyfriend
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: started out doing the pregame show, but now he wants
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: to get to the main attraction right away. His stamina
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: is wonderful, so there are no complaints there. I constantly
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: wear sexy lingerie and he compliments me on it, but
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: he doesn't take time to enjoy the presentation and unwrap
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: the package. He is a good man, very loving and giving,
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: and he is even talking about marriage. I would love
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: to marry him, but I need to know that he
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: is willing to romanticize me and keep it passionate and
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: not just do a wham bam, thank you man type
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: of deal. Stephen Shirley, how can I get him to
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: take his time and not just jump in. Well, I'm
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: gonna say this. I do like the fact that even
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: at seventy years old, you're still being a boss in
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: the bedroom. Okay, you say you have hormones of a
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: thirty year old. I like that. I like that you
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: know what you want and all of that. I think
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: the problem with you two is you're You're not on
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: the same page, You're on different pages. Any smart man
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: knows that women love the build up. We love the
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: romance of it all. We love the pregame show as
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: you call it. All of that for play is essential
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: for women. We get that part, yes we do. But
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: every single time, though, every single time, you gotta have
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: a big pregame show and all of that. No, ma'am,
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: just real life just doesn't work like that. I'm sorry,
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: And this is real life. It is not a game
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: as you call it. Yeah, you know, some people just
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: want to get to the main attraction. They really do. Uh.
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: Sorry to disappoint you, man, but that is how it
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: goes in life. When we get packages I mean think
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: about it. You know, when we do get gifts and packages,
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: sometimes think about Christmas. Sometimes you unwrapid you know, fold
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: up the wrapping paper and fold the bow nice and neatly.
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: And then sometimes you're so excited you just tear into
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: the package. You just what the paper off, you know,
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: you just snatch the ball off. You do that. I mean,
• 54:22
  Speaker 1: that's real life. Huh, this woman is seventy Steve with
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: the hormones of a thirty year old. Well, I don't know, Okay, anyway,
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: we just tear open the packages, we do, all right,
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: So I have to say this to you. You gotta
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: go with the flow. Okay, you gotta go with the flow.
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: It should not be the same every single time. It
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: just shouldn't. You gotta go with the mood of things.
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: Life is unpredictable at times, and so it sets in
• 54:56
  Speaker 1: the bedroom and all that. So m you gotta you know,
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: be a little flexible here and think about that situation.
• 55:04
  Speaker 1: Sometimes you rip it off, sometimes you go slow. All right,
• 55:07
  Speaker 1: That's just how it is, Steve. Then, know the letter
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: is not about big well, you know you was in
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: here talking about getting stuff ripped off. Let's go over
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: this letter a package. We got a seventy We got
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: a seventy year old woman that's living with the raging
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: hormones of a thirty year old. Now, let's just stop
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: right here for a second. That's scary, dog on it.
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: That's scary. And if you ask me, you're a little
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: late fall this year. You should have had the raging
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: hormones over thirty year old when your ass was thirty.
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: You're seventy. Now you're seventy. Now I appreciate it because
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: I'm playing it on being, you know, around at seventy.
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: But I don't want to be like I was at thirty.
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: For the purpose of this letter, okay, the ladies says,
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: I love making love to a man that knows what
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: he's doing between the sheets. Well, hell, he's seventy. Out
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: of hell, he don't know what he's doing. If you
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: ain't experienced by seventy in the bedroom, you what what
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: what was you doing? You've had seventy years to get
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: it right. If you ain't doing it right right now,
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Pardner. You can push your chips up to
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: the wind. Now. She said, I met this man by
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: the year ago on the online dating sight and after
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: five months of talking on the phone, we decided to
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: get together. She says, Now, I thought of love making
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: as an art, and if you're not an artist, I'm
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: not looking for a painter. Now, let's analyze that line
• 56:46
  Speaker 1: from this seventy year old I'm I thought of love
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: making as art, and if you're not an artist, I'm
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: not looking for a paint. Ain't that you? I love
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: that line? Ain't that you? I like that a lot too?
• 57:02
  Speaker 1: That's real? What the hell du that mean? That cute
• 57:08
  Speaker 1: dass line. That's the way to write a letter. But
• 57:10
  Speaker 1: what the hell we're talking about love? Manybody tell me
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: no damn brushings and paint you send me. We're talking
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: about old paint anyway. I'm a big fan of getting
• 57:21
  Speaker 1: things started the right way and not just jumping right
• 57:24
  Speaker 1: into it. My boyfriend started out doing the pregame show,
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: but now he wants to get to the main attraction
• 57:33
  Speaker 1: right away. Well we come back. Come on, let me
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: explain to you why he wants to get to it
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: right away. All right, we'll have part two reason of
• 57:47
  Speaker 1: Steve's response coming up at twenty three after the hour
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: today subject he wants to skip the best part. You're
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: listening show. All right, Steve, let's get to it. Let's
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: recap for the Strawberry Letter for today. He wants to skip.
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: The best part is a subject. Well, this woman is seventy,
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: got the raging hormones of thirty year old, and she's
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: considers making love and art and if you're not a painter,
• 58:19
  Speaker 1: she's not interested. She'd met this man online, which is great.
• 58:24
  Speaker 1: She's seventy, I'm assuming he's of age. And they started
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: seeing each other and she says, I'm a big fan
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: of getting things started right way here, not just jumping
• 58:35
  Speaker 1: into it. Was she saying at beginning, her boyfriend started
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: out during the pregame show, but now he wants to
• 58:43
  Speaker 1: get to the main attraction right away. Now, she says,
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: his stammers stand stamina is wonderful, so there's no complaints.
• 58:52
  Speaker 1: She say, I constantly wear sexual lingerie and he compliments
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: me on it, but he doesn't take time to enjoy
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: the presentation an unwrapped package. He's a good man, loving
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: and we're even talking about madge. I want to marry him,
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: but I need to know that he's willing to romanticize
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: me and keep it passionate and not just want to
• 59:11
  Speaker 1: wear bam, thank you man type of deal. Stephen, Shelley,
• 59:14
  Speaker 1: how can I get him? Take your time and not
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: just jump in? You can't, you can't. He's seventy, hell
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: is we're waiting for He knows it could go down
• 59:29
  Speaker 1: for him any day. Now, what does that mean? Seventy?
• 59:33
  Speaker 1: The clock is ticking, Shelley, That's what it means. We know, Yes, Shelley,
• 59:41
  Speaker 1: you seventy. You didn't live way longer than you got
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: nowt he don't have seventy more year. I'm telling you
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: why he got to jump in. Anybody got time for this?
• 59:52
  Speaker 1: No more were seventy. We gotta get to it. She say.
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: He used to do the pregame show. Now he want
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: to jump into it. He's seventy. You want him to do?
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 1: Give you a couple examples. Well, you know, I want
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 1: to be a young seventy, but I'm gonna be like
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 1: him though already know it. Let's talk about a couple
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: of things. When you go to the movies, you don't
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 1: want the damn preview, you want the movie. I don't
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 1: want to see no trailer. I don't give a damn
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: what's coming next week. I might not be here next week.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: I want the movie. What did I pay my twenty
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: dogs for? Damn it? Give me my movie. That's why
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: the seventy year old man ain't waiting. I got another
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 1: one for you. Okay, I don't like cracker Jack's. I
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 1: want to pride now. I've been that way since I
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 1: was a little boy. Or I buy a cracker Jacks,
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: but dog, gonn it. I want the pride. I don't
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 1: give dupper damn about the crack of jets, all up
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 1: in my teeth, cutting the roof of my mouth. Wear
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: my pride once again. That's why he can't wait. Here's
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 1: another one for you. He looking at it like an
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: HBCU game. We're here for the band. Damn begat half halftime?
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 1: Where the banding them? Damn chilly? This ain't even a
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 1: good football game. Yeah, hen we we can't find the
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 1: kick him. We ain't kick the field goal in two years?
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 1: The quarterback and throw fifteen yards? What's the stull? At half?
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: Tiver the receiver looked like your little brother. Got out
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 1: here for the HBCU game. Mister Jared Rice come along
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 1: every nine and Walter Payton everybody else looked like children.
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 1: HBCU game. I'm out here watching the thirteenth grade. Man,
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 1: where is the bad dam nick sonic boom dam jackson
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 1: boys that brain meet him from ratlers. Come on, I
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 1: won't southern out here. Oh man, HBCU game. That's why
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 1: we can't wait so quick? Getting mad at the man, right,
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: he said me, you sent me what you're taking your
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 1: time for. Your time could be next week too. Got
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 1: let's get to it. Stop all this holding up. Stop,
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 1: wait a minute, hold up, um you tirely swam bam,
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 1: Thank you man. You want to be lucky. He can
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 1: steal a wham bam. I know some seventy years ago, dude,
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 1: that Ben stopped whamming and baming years ago, he says
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 1: he has. She did say, yeah, old man can last.
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 1: Now come on, that's that experience that's done with what
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 1: to do, that's putting your mind somewhere else. Mental mental
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 1: boy talk. Yeah, so you learn it, take your mind
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 1: off of it, go somewhere else. So keeping if you
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 1: think about it, you're gonna mesh yourself. You got medicine,
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 1: you got all the piles on the knife stand. Stop
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 1: thinking about which people. You got to tell a lot
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 1: of ways to occupy your fan. Make it true. Man. Yeah,
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 1: thinking about this is true? Right, yeah, you ever been
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 1: at it? It just started to do something to distract
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 1: yourself like a dog girl. There's this practicing voices? All right?
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 1: Listen email us or Instagram. That's your thoughts on Today's
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM and check out the
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. You're listening to Jana what
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 1: is this? Is it just me? Or? Out of comics
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 1: have used the phrase is it just me to start
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 1: their comedy routines. These are just a couple of is
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 1: it just me? That's all? It is nothing big, Okay, friends,
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 1: we were just talking about this is it just me?
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 1: Or our girl scout cookies getting smaller? What have you
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 1: noticed the same? No, they're not, No, they're not. No,
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 1: no disrespect of getting a little bigger. But again, oh my,
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 1: I haven't noticed really all right? What else you got, Junior?
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 1: That one? Yeah, I'll tell you one. I've got this
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 1: phone call. But it's scarce thing. Yeah, it's just just
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 1: me though, But the person in the family that causes
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 1: all the trouble when they call you and say guess what,
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: you really don't want to know. It's not just you.
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 1: Let me ask you this. When you lost you and
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: your car lost, did you turn down the radio so
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 1: you can see better? Got nothing to do with me,
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 1: but you got to see though. Anybody got to shut up. Hush,
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 1: I'm low. Just hush that fuss. I can't contradrate me.
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 1: Is it just me? I'm starting up? Is it just me?
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 1: No matter how many orders of fries you by, by
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 1: time you get home, you're gone, You're gonna eat. It's
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 1: not just you. Yeah, you can't buy them fritch fries
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 1: and not eat them on the way. Might say that,
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 1: Say no, no you can. I'll tell you what. Is
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 1: it just me? But when you break a hunt, it
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 1: don't it disappear? I had six right, so true. When
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 1: you hear the water running for about ten fifteen, do
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 1: you have to peet right? You gotta do it, You
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 1: gotta go. It's not just you. Ye, okay, okay. You've
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 1: been looking for your glasses and they was on your head.
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 1: You better say that, Steve. You ever been walking around
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 1: talking on yourself but looking forward? Yes, I'm talking about man.
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 1: I don't came back in the house with all the
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 1: way upstairs all around it. Man, I'm just talking. I'm
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 1: talking to my wife, and then she said, see, why
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 1: are you bring us hard? They're running up the steps.
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 1: She said, what you doing? I thought you was getting
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 1: in the car. You was going to play golf. Baby,
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 1: I can't find my phone, she says, Steve, you talking over,
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 1: I ain't saying nothing. Ain't gotten your car. Act like
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 1: we just conn you're listening show. Lock them up, all right,
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 1: lock them up. Everybody knows somebody that's considered good people.
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 1: You know, good people, Oh keep to themselves, always speaking.
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 1: My theory is lock they ass up because they can't
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 1: be trusted up to something something, you know what. People
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 1: like that, The people who are always helping old people,
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 1: always going over there. How you doing, miss Johnson? You
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 1: got enough to eat? Liked ass something? Up to something something?
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm done. People who drive the church
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 1: bus singing the choet, just so good to help out,
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 1: like the ass up going out here. I'm you're driving
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 1: the church bus. I don't trust you, damn people. You
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 1: up to something? You're just driving the church bus. You
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 1: ain't getting paid like the ass up people have a
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 1: party to have a party and tell you because ignorant, right,
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 1: he ain't never heard of, don't bring nothing, just bring yourself.
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 1: Oh come on like dass up up with Steve up,
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 1: like him up him and churning in his party. People
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 1: who see your trash cans out by the curve and
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 1: you leave and they roll them act up to your
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 1: house just to be nice, Lock them up, locks up.
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 1: Abody asks you to roll nobody damn task. The first
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 1: person at work, you know, the fun always that worked,
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 1: You got the light zone, makes your the internet is working,
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Got donuts for every damn body?
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 1: What's that about that sounds like you? Common is on?
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 1: The comment is for brainbody people who come to work
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 1: and speak to every damn man cubicle. How you doing today?
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 1: I want your weekend, that your damn been there? How
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 1: my weekend was what you up to? I look at
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 1: no about people's weekends. People are always looking out for you,
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 1: you know, like if you go out of hard to
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 1: make sure to get your newspapers, yea man and stuff.
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 1: Let my stuff, pilot. I don't know. I don't even
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 1: know ever you're gonna do, my man? Why are you
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 1: looking at my mail? Did I ask you? If the
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 1: mail man keep living at the damn it, you do
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 1: the same damn thing. Yeah, you do the same thing
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 1: I like for my mail, the pilot. You know what
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 1: I'm talking about. The people are always having baked sale.
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 1: Oh we trying to raise money for the neighborhood. What
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 1: is that about? Wow? You bringing baked goods at your
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 1: house to sell to people in the neighborhood. You're up
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 1: to something. You don't know everybody in the neighborhood. You
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 1: know people who bring soup over to your house when
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 1: you're sick. I heard you was under the weather. I
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 1: brought you some soup. Nobody ask you for no damn. Yeah,
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 1: so your car broke down and somebody just pull over
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 1: and fix your car. Damn always picking up the tab always,
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 1: Oh I got it, I got it. She got too
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 1: good jobs. What what is that about it? I'm got
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 1: to give him a side out? What is that about
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 1: buying Sally? Yeah? Well I babysit. You about gat me? N?
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 1: Did anybody asks you to be nice? Oh? Man? What
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 1: about it? I'm a woman. I dropped something on the
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 1: floor and the guy picks it up. I picked it up.
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 1: That's a true statement, that's a true state. You're listening
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 1: to morning show, all right, Carla, Time now for our
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 1: girl chat on this labor day and maybe speaking of
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 1: labor day and speaking of labor, a woman in the
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 1: UK got the shock of her life. Now get this
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 1: when she started having cramps while out drinking with her friends. Okay,
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 1: oh I heard about this. This is crazy. It was
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 1: Lavinia Stanton. She was enjoying a night out until the
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 1: pain became too much and she was forced to go home.
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 1: When the pain got worse, she headed to the emergency
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 1: room and that's when she learned that she was pregnant.
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 1: What and an active labor what? Wait? Wait wait? And
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 1: then Shirley, I was also reading that this twenty three
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 1: year old she had no idea that she was expecting
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 1: and she was eight and half months along. How in
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 1: the world she out there kicking it with her best sis,
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 1: drinking martinis and this girl goes into labor and she
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 1: welcomes her daughter later willow. She didn't have prenatal care
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 1: or anything, but the baby girl was born healthy. She said,
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 1: she gained a couple of pounds, but she just did
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 1: not know that she was pregnant. Can you imagine the
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 1: phone call to her maid. I know, but she were
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 1: doing things that could possibly get you pregnant with obviously
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 1: no protection. Come on, hey, why baby, I just had
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 1: a baby? No really baby? Yeah? Why labor day? All right,
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 1: we'll be back with more of the Steve Harvey Morning
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 1: Show coming up at thirty three minutes after the hour.
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 1: Right after this. You're listening, all right, Steven's that time again.
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 1: Please introduce your good good friend Jay Anthony Brown. Let's
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 1: look into his mind, Ladies and gentlemen, the dark, demented
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 1: and troubled mind, bitter, broken up, love starved man. Here
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 1: we go. There's a new game out. I don't even
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 1: know the name of it, but it has to do
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 1: with being black or went in the black card? Have
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 1: you heard about this Shirtley? Get your black card as them? Anyway,
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 1: I have some questions that will let you know if
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 1: you should receive black card. We got points to goes,
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 1: but here we go. First question, have you ever eaten
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 1: Rice of Braby, Rice and sugar butter and Rice? Give
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 1: yourself five points? Yeah? Have you ever played the game
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 1: That's my card? Have you ever played a game That's
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 1: my car and you didn't have a car? Give yourself
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 1: three points? Yes? Yes? Or if you got to get
• 1:15:08
  Speaker 1: yourself ball points? Is there anyone white that you'd like
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 1: to have sex with. Take away two points. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 1: hold on, let me take my two points away. Here
• 1:15:19
  Speaker 1: we go, all right. Have you ever fixed have you
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 1: ever fixed anything with a knife, fork, or a spoon?
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 1: Give yourself six points. Put that down there. Oh, I'm
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 1: back up, I'm back up, All right, all right, here
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 1: we go. Have you ever put something in front of
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 1: the oven to dry? Four points? You give yourself four
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 1: points for that. Have you ever watched your face with
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 1: a dish cloth? Give yourself two points for that one?
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 1: Right down? All right, I'm sorry all the bad tiles
• 1:15:56
  Speaker 1: was really dished out. Yeah, you're right. Have you ever
• 1:15:59
  Speaker 1: made fun of somebody shouting in church? Give yourself three
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 1: points with the church for that? Oh, not for the word.
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 1: My comedy career started as a ten year old actor.
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 1: Have you ever had a sandwich inside the wrapper that
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 1: it came in? Have you ever had that? Meaning? Have
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 1: you ever made a sandwich with just the end pieces
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 1: of bread? Give yourself four points? That's okay. Last question,
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 1: last question? Have you ever eaten a piece of candy
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 1: that an old person pulled out of there? Bra and
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 1: you ate it anyway? If you have not done anything.
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 1: I was young and didn't know where, but I did.
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 1: I didn't know, I didn't know where I got another
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 1: one ja that only contained condiments. All right, all right,
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 1: all right, coming up the last break of the day,
• 1:17:16
  Speaker 1: Steve will have some closing remarks for us. Don't go anywhere.
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 1: We'll be back at forty nine minutes after the hour
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 1: right after this. You're listening, all right, Steve, Here we are,
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 1: last break of the day on this Monday. Leave us
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 1: with some closing remarks. Let me see, I was thinking
• 1:17:37
  Speaker 1: again of what I could say to be encouraging to people. Um,
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 1: I have a couple of points that have kept me
• 1:17:50
  Speaker 1: throughout my life that I learned actually while I was pledging, Man,
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 1: that was soon the greatest thing that pledge and gave
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 1: me was besides some friendship that I still have to
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 1: this day. It taught me so much that I needed
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 1: to know at a young age about surviving and thriving
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 1: and hanging in there. And I learned a couple of
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 1: poems that have kept me. And if you look them up, man,
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 1: they're very very valuable. Not nothing replaces my spiritual life
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 1: at all. And the two aren't to be compared, but
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 1: they are to be appreciated on both levels the first person.
• 1:18:38
  Speaker 1: One of the strongest poems I learned was a poem
• 1:18:41
  Speaker 1: called Invictus and An a poem it says the term
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 1: gods with an S, but I never say gods because
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 1: there's only one. And even the entire time I was pledging,
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 1: I told him I wasn't gonna say gods because and
• 1:18:57
  Speaker 1: they didn't have them. Brothers didn't have a problem with
• 1:18:59
  Speaker 1: that at all. But the poem was great. I haven't memorized,
• 1:19:05
  Speaker 1: I don't haven't written down anyways, or y'all forgive me
• 1:19:07
  Speaker 1: as I pull it up out of my memory. But
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 1: Invictus is something like this, out of the night that
• 1:19:13
  Speaker 1: covers me black as a pit, from pole to pole.
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 1: I thank, whatever God may be, from my unconquerable soul.
• 1:19:23
  Speaker 1: In the fair clutch of circumstance, I have not winced
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 1: nor cried aloud. And under the bludgeonings of chance, my
• 1:19:31
  Speaker 1: head is bloodied but unbowed. And beyond this place of
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 1: rafting tears looms but the horror of the shade. And
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 1: yet the minutes of the years finds, and she'll find
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 1: me unafraid. It matters not how straight the gate, how
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 1: charged with punishment the scroll I am the master of
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 1: my fate, I and the captain of my soul. That
• 1:20:04
  Speaker 1: poem Invictus has kept me through a lot of troubling times.
• 1:20:11
  Speaker 1: The other poem that kept me was a poem that
• 1:20:15
  Speaker 1: it has a title of, Don't Quit, but the author
• 1:20:17
  Speaker 1: is unknown. It's an unknown author if you look it up.
• 1:20:22
  Speaker 1: Just look up the poem don't quit. But it's been
• 1:20:26
  Speaker 1: a staple in my repertoire things that I say to
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 1: myself in difficult times, and it goes something like this.
• 1:20:37
  Speaker 1: When things go wrong, is they sometimes will when the
• 1:20:41
  Speaker 1: road you're trudging seems all uphel when your funds are
• 1:20:45
  Speaker 1: low and your debts are high. When you want to smile,
• 1:20:48
  Speaker 1: but you have to sigh when cares are pressing you
• 1:20:52
  Speaker 1: down a bit, rest if you must, But don't quit,
• 1:20:56
  Speaker 1: for life is queer with this twisting turns, as every
• 1:21:00
  Speaker 1: one of us from ust sometimes learn. And many a
• 1:21:03
  Speaker 1: fellow has turned about when he might have won had
• 1:21:06
  Speaker 1: he stuck it out. So don't give up. Though the
• 1:21:09
  Speaker 1: pace seems slow, you may succeed with another blow. Often
• 1:21:14
  Speaker 1: the gold is nearer than it seems to a faint
• 1:21:17
  Speaker 1: and a faltering man, and of the struggler has given
• 1:21:21
  Speaker 1: up when he might have captured the victor's cup. And
• 1:21:24
  Speaker 1: he learns too late, when the night came down, how
• 1:21:28
  Speaker 1: close he was to the golden crown. And you never
• 1:21:31
  Speaker 1: can tell how close you are. It may be near
• 1:21:35
  Speaker 1: when it seems afar. So stick to the fight when
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 1: your hardest hit. It's when things seem worse that you
• 1:21:43
  Speaker 1: mustn't quit. Those two poems right there have kept me
• 1:21:49
  Speaker 1: in some dark moments. Somebody made me a T shirt
• 1:21:53
  Speaker 1: the other day in the Cleveland Cavalier colors of maroon
• 1:21:58
  Speaker 1: and gold, and gave it to me as a gift,
• 1:22:02
  Speaker 1: And the T shirt said, I'm a sixty two year
• 1:22:05
  Speaker 1: old black man from Cleveland, Ohio. What you want? And
• 1:22:11
  Speaker 1: it's sort of funny, man, because a lot of times
• 1:22:14
  Speaker 1: when people saying stuff, people who really know. I say
• 1:22:17
  Speaker 1: to people all the time, what you want from me?
• 1:22:20
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm only human. I'm subject to make mistakes.
• 1:22:25
  Speaker 1: I air, I get it wrong sometimes I'm not perfect.
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 1: I swaying a lot, so I'm gonna hit a lot
• 1:22:32
  Speaker 1: of strikeouts. You know, when you swaying in the bat,
• 1:22:35
  Speaker 1: A lot of times you ain't gonna all of them
• 1:22:37
  Speaker 1: ain't gonna be hits. But I have such a sheer
• 1:22:41
  Speaker 1: number of at bats that it causes people to be
• 1:22:45
  Speaker 1: able to see a few more times of me failing.
• 1:22:48
  Speaker 1: But some people never You'll never have to worry about
• 1:22:51
  Speaker 1: watching them fail because they're not attempting anything. So if
• 1:22:54
  Speaker 1: you're the person who's being criticized for your efforts, you
• 1:22:59
  Speaker 1: have to know that you gotta hang in there because
• 1:23:02
  Speaker 1: there's so many people that's criticizing you that's not even
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 1: making an effort. Now I'm a paraphrase another one, but
• 1:23:09
  Speaker 1: I'm paraphrasing this. This doesn't work exactly like this. It
• 1:23:13
  Speaker 1: says the credit belongs to the man who is actually
• 1:23:17
  Speaker 1: in the arena, whose face is marred with dust, blood, sweat,
• 1:23:21
  Speaker 1: and tears, not to those cold and timid souls in
• 1:23:25
  Speaker 1: the stands who know neither victory nor defeat. That one
• 1:23:30
  Speaker 1: has kept me too, because I realized that a lot
• 1:23:33
  Speaker 1: of people that are criticizing you are not even in
• 1:23:36
  Speaker 1: the same game you win. So when you out there
• 1:23:39
  Speaker 1: striving and you're hustling and you're trying to put it together,
• 1:23:42
  Speaker 1: you're gonna make mistakes and you're gonna get criticized. But
• 1:23:45
  Speaker 1: don't ever, don't ever, don't you ever give up those
• 1:23:50
  Speaker 1: of my closing remarks today profound Sir kemped outs Erry
• 1:24:00
  Speaker 1: void Ware prohibited. Participants must be legal US residents at
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 1: least eighteen years old, unless otherwise stated. For complete contest rules,
• 1:24:07
  Speaker 1: visit Steve HARVEYFM dot com. You're listening to the Steve
• 1:24:11
  Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show.