Latest / HAIstoric Phonograph — irreverent dispatches from a history that never quite happened
Japan Fucks Up, Accidentally Makes World Peace With Flowers
Send us Fan MailIn a move that baffled historians and probably gave Franklin D. Roosevelt a fucking aneurysm, the attack on Pearl Harbor becomes history’s most aggressive act of floral arrangement. Okay, so picture this bullshit. It’s December 7, 1941. The birds are singing, sailors are nursing hangovers, and a bunch of hungover sailors are probably nursing each other. Standard Sunday morning. Then, on the horizon, a fuckton of Japanese planes. But instead of the expected “let’s blow all your shit up” ordnance, the bomb bay doors swing open and unleash… petals. Millions upon millions of…
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