Latest / ✨️Aligned and Thriving: For Teachers🌿 / 💆‍♀️Self-Care Series: Bouncing Back 🐸

Transcript

💆‍♀️Self-Care Series: Bouncing Back 🐸 · ✨️Aligned and Thriving: For Teachers🌿

• 0:05
  Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Aligned and
• 0:08
  Thriving Now today. This is a really good one, and I
• 0:13
  want to dive deep into a topic that is so vital for us as
• 0:17
  teachers and honestly just for life in general, and that's
• 0:23
  resilience. How do we bounce back after a
• 0:26
  really hard day or even a year that just kind of knocks the
• 0:31
  wind out of us? I want to share a little bit now
• 0:34
  about my own year from hell. It was a time of massive change
• 0:39
  and challenge. There was a leadership shake up
• 0:41
  at the school and instead of feeling supported I found myself
• 0:45
  hit, kicked, punched and sworn out daily.
• 0:49
  My personal resources were destroyed.
• 0:53
  I myself, emotionally, mentally, physically, I just felt like
• 0:57
  everything was being broken or thrown at me.
• 1:01
  It was a year that nearly broke me as a teacher.
• 1:04
  And if that wasn't enough, soon after COVID hit and like so many
• 1:10
  of you, I was suddenly thrown into homeschooling my own kids.
• 1:14
  And that was the season I absolutely hated being isolated,
• 1:19
  alone, without the support of my family nearby.
• 1:23
  It was brutal. But here's the thing that saved
• 1:26
  me. I made sure to reach out for
• 1:29
  help. I accessed a school counsellor
• 1:32
  during that time, someone outside of my immediate family
• 1:35
  and friends that I could talk to, someone that was trained to
• 1:38
  help me process all of those really heavy emotions.
• 1:42
  And even now, years later, I still talk with someone
• 1:46
  regularly to debrief and unpack those experiences and sometimes
• 1:51
  others. Because resilience is not about
• 1:53
  toughing it out alone, guys. Sometimes it's about knowing
• 1:58
  when to ask for support. And I want to say that again,
• 2:02
  there is no shame in asking for help, whether it's from a coach,
• 2:07
  a counsellor, A psychologist, just talking to someone who can
• 2:11
  hold space for you without judgement is such a powerful
• 2:14
  tool to help you build your resilience.
• 2:18
  And I've shared this to you like I've shared it before, but it
• 2:21
  bears repeating. We spend so much time teaching
• 2:26
  our students about resilience, how it helps them in school and
• 2:30
  in life. So as educators, we need to lead
• 2:33
  by example and show them what resilience really looks like.
• 2:38
  For example, my son, he understands resilience because
• 2:42
  he has to work really hard on bouncing back every day, whether
• 2:46
  it's from a set back or a really tough moment.
• 2:49
  I might have passed on a little bit of my competitiveness to him
• 2:53
  and that doesn't always help him, if you know what I mean.
• 2:58
  But I know first hand how challenging it can be when you
• 3:02
  have a class that just drains you, or staff members that you
• 3:06
  struggle to work with, or you feel like you're just not in the
• 3:10
  right place mentally or emotionally.
• 3:13
  It's in those moments that bouncing back feels nearly
• 3:17
  impossible. So how do you become resilient
• 3:21
  when everything feels like it's against you?
• 3:24
  For me, it all started with talking it out, really letting
• 3:29
  myself be heard, whether it was with a counsellor or a colleague
• 3:33
  or a friend. Then it was about trying to find
• 3:36
  strategies for self care and practising self love even when I
• 3:40
  didn't feel like I really deserved it.
• 3:43
  I showed up every day and I hit the reset button.
• 3:47
  I tried new approaches with my class.
• 3:49
  I worked on shifting my mindset. Some days were good, some days
• 3:53
  were often so difficult that I would cry a lot, and I allowed
• 3:58
  myself to do that. A good cry can be a great reset
• 4:02
  too. It's important to let your body
• 4:04
  feel all of the feelings. Bottling things up does not help
• 4:08
  anybody, it only makes the weight get heavier.
• 4:13
  And I really need to reiterate that bottling stuff up does not
• 4:18
  help you. You really need to let yourself
• 4:22
  feel. We are human beings.
• 4:26
  We all have feelings and they are there to be felt and
• 4:29
  expressed. And then we can work through
• 4:32
  them. If you're talking with someone
• 4:36
  from your leadership team and maybe that doesn't change
• 4:39
  things, then maybe you need to look for support from colleagues
• 4:42
  or maybe even your union. You might be surprised how many
• 4:47
  other people in your school might feel exactly the same way.
• 4:50
  But always try talking to the person involved first.
• 4:54
  Clear communication can sometimes break down some
• 4:57
  barriers that people maybe didn't even know they they had
• 5:00
  with you. And I know that's part of most
• 5:03
  grievance policies, is that you need to go and actually talk to
• 5:06
  that person 1st and then if you can't resolve things, you need
• 5:10
  to go further. If that means that you need to
• 5:12
  take a trusted friend or colleague with you, by all means
• 5:15
  do so. I have gone with quite a few
• 5:18
  people to support them in conversations that were tough
• 5:20
  and hard because I've been there too.
• 5:23
  So make sure you are doing that type of thing.
• 5:29
  I, I'm talking from experience too, because I've had that
• 5:33
  situation and when nothing had changed for me, my colleagues
• 5:37
  and I ended up banding together to support each other.
• 5:40
  And that made a huge difference because sometimes people don't
• 5:44
  know what's actually going outside, going on outside of
• 5:48
  their own little bubble. Now here's a concept that I want
• 5:52
  to talk to you about that helped me stay sane.
• 5:55
  And that was learning about your sphere of control.
• 5:59
  So your sphere of control is like all of the things that you
• 6:02
  actually have power over. It's easy to get stuck worrying
• 6:06
  about the things outside of that circle, like other people's
• 6:09
  moods, decisions, or unexpected changes.
• 6:12
  But those are outside of your control.
• 6:15
  Instead, I learned to focus on my own energy and on the things
• 6:20
  that I could control, like my attitude, my responses, my
• 6:23
  habits, and how I prepare every day for my class and my own well
• 6:29
  being. So starting there, it can help
• 6:32
  you to protect your own energy and help you to build resilience
• 6:36
  from the inside out. Because once you've grounded
• 6:39
  yourself in your sphere of control, then you can explore
• 6:42
  other options. Maybe that means you might need
• 6:45
  to look for another job, or moving schools, or changing your
• 6:48
  role, or finding a new challenge within your school that you
• 6:52
  choose because it excites you. I did the hard yards and it made
• 6:57
  me stronger. It made me a better teacher.
• 7:00
  But I also know many teachers who are broken by their
• 7:03
  experiences and never came back to the profession.
• 7:06
  And I don't want that for you. So please don't let it break
• 7:10
  you. Take those experiences as
• 7:12
  lessons and stepping stones on your path.
• 7:16
  You might even find yourself moving on to a new school or a
• 7:19
  new role like I did, and finding a place that you love.
• 7:23
  Cause resilience can open doors to growth and new beginnings.
• 7:27
  Because we have to live what we are teaching our students.
• 7:32
  We have to be resilient first. So, and this is this is a big
• 7:37
  one, but I want to leave you with a few things that I want
• 7:41
  you to actually stop and think about because reflecting on your
• 7:45
  own resilience can be really powerful and help you reset when
• 7:51
  things are starting to get tough.
• 7:53
  So as I said, I worked with lots of coaches and support people
• 7:58
  like psychologists and things, and this is what sort of helped
• 8:01
  me over time. So get out a piece of paper, get
• 8:05
  out something to write with, or do it on your phone or do a
• 8:08
  voice note, whatever it might be.
• 8:09
  But I want you to think about these things.
• 8:12
  So number one, what challenges have I faced recently that
• 8:17
  tested my resilience? How did I respond?
• 8:23
  So you're thinking about what you can make dot point list.
• 8:27
  What are the challenges you faced?
• 8:28
  How did you respond to them? Plain and simple #2 What are
• 8:34
  three things within my control that I can focus on today to
• 8:39
  improve my mindset or environment?
• 8:42
  So that's three things that you can control.
• 8:46
  Thinking about your attitude, your response, your habits, your
• 8:50
  own well being. What are three things out of
• 8:52
  that that you can have a go at trying to improve #3 who are the
• 9:00
  people or professionals I can reach out to for support when
• 9:04
  I'm struggling? Your school might have access to
• 9:10
  a support network. I know at the schools that I've
• 9:13
  worked at, we've always had access to support and we can get
• 9:16
  free counselling, counselling sessions.
• 9:19
  You might need to go to your GP and get a mental health care
• 9:21
  plan and then you could access that support for free.
• 9:24
  There are plenty of options out there.
• 9:26
  You can go online, you can ring Beyond Blue, you can even talk
• 9:31
  to Kids helpline because honestly they will be there to
• 9:33
  help you. Lifeline is the same if you just
• 9:36
  need to get it off your chest, there are plenty of options.
• 9:39
  So what are some that you might be comfortable to do or try #4
• 9:44
  What self care practises help me to recharge and reset during
• 9:50
  difficult times? That's where you can make
• 9:54
  yourself a list and start doing some of those self care
• 9:58
  procedures that will help you to focus on you #5 What lessons
• 10:05
  have I learned from past hardships that made me stronger
• 10:08
  and how can I apply them now? This is a big one for me because
• 10:14
  I do have a massive list of hardships that I have been
• 10:17
  through. And I guess the longer the
• 10:20
  podcast goes on, the more you're going to learn about what I've
• 10:23
  actually been through as a teacher and how I've come to be
• 10:26
  the person who I am today because those challenges have
• 10:29
  helped to shape me as a human being and in my career.
• 10:33
  So this is a chance for you to have a hard look at where you're
• 10:37
  at at the moment and think about what you've actually learned
• 10:41
  from some of those hardships you may have experienced and how can
• 10:44
  you apply them to either now or maybe even your future self.
• 10:48
  And number six, what small wins can I celebrate today, no matter
• 10:53
  how minor they may seem, because finishing with a little bit of
• 10:58
  gratitude and celebration is always a positive way to finish.
• 11:03
  What is something a little win, a little bit of joy, just
• 11:07
  something great. It can even be so small to
• 11:11
  celebrate the fact that you had a warm shower.
• 11:15
  It's literally the little things in life, Especially if you grow
• 11:18
  up somewhere where you constantly lose power.
• 11:21
  A warm shower is sometimes a novelty when you haven't had it
• 11:25
  for a little while. Off topic.
• 11:27
  Anyway, take some time this week to please sit down and write,
• 11:33
  journal, get them out, answer those questions and really
• 11:37
  reflect on your own journey because you are stronger than
• 11:42
  you know, OK? Please remember that you have
• 11:47
  been through so much already, wherever you are in life, and
• 11:52
  you are doing amazing because you have still shown up today.
• 11:56
  You've chosen to listen to something like this to help grow
• 12:02
  as a human being, to help learn to, I say help, but really to
• 12:07
  learn how to work on your mindset and improve those
• 12:12
  skills. So thank you again for listening
• 12:16
  today. And if you are going through a
• 12:19
  tough time, Please remember that you are not alone.
• 12:24
  Reach out to somebody and just keep bouncing back.
• 12:31
  That's the best thing and the easiest way to explain
• 12:35
  resilience to everyone, really. Again, I'm going to refer to my
• 12:39
  son. He will tell you that what's
• 12:41
  resilience mean? And he goes it means bouncing
• 12:44
  back. It's like the clowns that you
• 12:48
  could bop and they would fall down and then they'd bounce
• 12:51
  right back up. That's what his psychologist has
• 12:54
  explained to him, that sometimes people or words will knock you
• 12:59
  down, or someone's actions will knock you down, and then you
• 13:02
  just need to bounce right back up.
• 13:05
  So that's the images that I sometimes get in my head.
• 13:10
  You might also get like a little froggy because he's bouncing
• 13:13
  around, because he's bouncing back.
• 13:15
  But that's what resilience really means.
• 13:18
  It's how you bounce back from this.
• 13:21
  OK, it may be mentally, it may be emotionally, it may be
• 13:24
  physically, but how are you going to bounce back and be a
• 13:28
  resilient human being? So until next time, keep showing
• 13:33
  up, keep being resilient and keep on shining because you are
• 13:38
  amazing and don't ever forget that.
• 13:41
  I will continue to tell everyone that message.
• 13:44
  You are stronger than you think and you are doing so much better
• 13:48
  than you know. So keep bouncing back, keep
• 13:51
  showing up, and until next time, I will talk to you again soon.
• 13:55
  Bye, guys.