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Hijacked by Busy: Overbooked and Underconnected with Zach Manntai · Neighbourly: Real Stories of Care and Community

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Dopamine hits from from technology beeps and
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notifications and doom scrolling and this constant feed of
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information have created
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a brokenness in us where we don't actually know how to slow down and
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how to be bored, how to connect with people right in front of
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us. Because these amazing technological
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marvels and this massive amount of humans all around us
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content creating all the time, they're a facsimile for
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connection. Do you feel stretched too thin to
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truly care? It's something that many of us wrestle with more often than Wendi like
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to admit. Between endless to do list, daily demands, and
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good intentions, it's easy to miss out on what matters most. But here's
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the truth. The antidote to being hijacked by busy isn't doing
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less, it's focusing on what matters most.
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This is Journey with Care, a podcast by CareImpact where curious
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Canadians find inspiration to love others well through real life
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stories and honest conversations.
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Hey, Johan here. Today, we're diving into a topic that feels all too familiar,
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being hijacked by busy. How does busyness and decision
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paralysis prevent us from showing up with compassion? And how can we
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reclaim our focus and make room for the people that matter the most?
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Here's a personal scenario, one that's played out in my life more times than I'd
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like to admit. You see, I'm a list guy. There's nothing more
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satisfying than starting my day with a plan. Tasks written in my dollar
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store notebook, ready to be checked off. And if I don't make my list the
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night before, I often can't sleep. My brain just keeps going and
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going. Don't forget that email. Remember to clean the inbox. Oh,
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and make sure you message this person, and don't leave your guitar out. It's way
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too dry, and it might Zach. And that's actually happened
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before. So it's kind of a recurring nightmare that I have, but
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you get the idea. When I'm in the zone moving through my list, I feel
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productive. I feel like I'm doing something that matters. But
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occasionally, more often than I'd like to admit, my laser focus
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comes at a cost. There are times when my wife would try to talk to
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me, just, you know, connect after a long day working at a school. She might
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have something weighing on her heart or she just wants to share about her day.
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Just connect. But instead of leaning in, instead
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of asking how she's doing, I get stuck in my own
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head. I'll just sometimes nod and say, uh-huh. But I'm really just
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thinking about my next task. The next thing I can check off my
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list. Or worse, I'll be snappy at her because her timing just doesn't fit
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into my perfectly planned out day. But here's the thing. It's
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not because I don't wanna be there for her. It's because I've allowed
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my focus to be hijacked by busyness. Moments like
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these remind me just how easy it is to let the urgent overshadow the
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important. And that's exactly what we're getting into today. How does
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busyness and decision paralysis block us from showing up with compassion?
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And more importantly, how can we reclaim our focus to make room for
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the people and moments that truly matter? Joining us is Zach
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Manntai, a returning guest who has a lot to bring to this conversation.
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But before I get into it, we just wanna thank you for following along and
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sharing these conversations. The best way we can grow this podcast is through
3:17
word-of-mouth. And, hey, if you like to support the podcast or if you
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wanna sponsor an episode, head over to CareImpact.ca/podcast.
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And I also wanna invite you to join our Facebook group. It's called the
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CareImpact Podcast Group. It's a place to continue this
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conversation beyond the podcast. Like minded people, we're having polls,
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discussions around topics, announcements about upcoming meetups and
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events, and even opportunities for you to get involved in future episodes.
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So find it on Karen Zach Facebook page or use the direct link
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in the show notes. Alright. Our guest is Zach
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Manntai. Zach is the leader of For the City based in Calgary,
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an organization that drives community transformation through bold ideas
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and meaningful connections. He has a unique ability to cut through the
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noise and focus on what truly matters. Zach is here to help us
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explore how we can reclaim focus and overcome decision
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paralysis to show up with compassion. And with Zach joining
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me is my cohost, Wendi. Wendi, you wanna start our conversation off
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here? Zach, I'm so excited to have this conversation with you
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and Johan, and we're gonna be talking about busyness. And
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that's something that's near and dear. Like, we've all had scheduling issues, and,
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we have full lives. So so this is a a a conversation we
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can all take to heart. So we're just so glad that you're in the
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real. This is a conversation we can all relate to. I'm just curious
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to start us off. What is some habit or
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mindset shift that helps you stay focused on what matters
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most in a season of busy? I think
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the honest truth is that this is as much aspirational
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as it is directional where it's like, I think I should be doing this. I
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want to be doing this as it is something that I actually do. A
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big part of what I think does ground me, though, is my connection to
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the people and and things in my direct vicinity, things that are going on in
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my neighborhood, things that are coming and going in my
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home, stuff that actually affects my family, and
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trying to think about how my actions and the time I
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spend in these things can be really
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impactful. One of the things that we can easily do in this world is just
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get overwhelmed with noise and all of this sense
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of not enough. And I think that if I sit back and I sit in
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a chair, I think I posted on the socials the other day,
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starting my morning with a cup of coffee and a book with my kids
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is a really grounding way. Now I acknowledge that that's a privileged
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ability to be able to do that. But just being able to turn off some
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of my devices and sit in a space and be with them,
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it's really helped me remember what matters most. I
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find there's there seems to be a culture of glorification of busyness
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almost, and it's often at a cost. I know even for myself, like Wendi I'm
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not feeling busy, I feel like I'm not doing anything of
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worth. And I know that's a me issue. I was just praying this
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morning with a group of people, and we were talking about be still and know
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that I am God. And I'm like, how do I be still? I don't know
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how to do that. Wendi, you probably have a few of the same problems. How
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do you how do you manage that? Well, I can so relate. And it's one
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thing people say, oh, you have to have balance in your schedule and have some
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some quiet time, and and you can't do everything
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cognitively. You know what? Amen, sister. Amen, brother. I hear
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you. You can't clutter. However,
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any moms out there, any people working full time and
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raising a family or and having other commitments, it's easier said
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than done. It's not even a mindset where you're just saying, hey.
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I'm just not gonna take it all on. Sometimes the world brings
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it on you, and you have to learn how to balance their
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seasons that are just full without you
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asking for it, at least for myself as a parent and
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leading an organization with a team and and things like that. So I
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think there there needs to be a bit of compassion, not to mention, I think
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different people have different tolerances of what busy should look
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like and what we can handle. But, back
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to you, Zach. I'm just curious. What are some things that you are
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doing to combat that? I know you have
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a full life as well. What do you do when you have so
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much thrown at you, and how do you
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sift through that all? I think the biggest thing that
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I again, as much aspirational as practical
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is I I would have to say no to things. And I think one of
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the things that I I learned a number of years ago
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was how many things I was saying yes to because I felt both
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personally that they mattered a lot. They were important. These were
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conversations or things that were going on in my community that
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truly were good things. But when I
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sat back and, for a number of
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personal reasons, almost had a full
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mental breakdown, it came down to the fact that I realized
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I had said yes to too many things that were
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good, and it was actively harming me. And so even that
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phrase that you used, Johan, like, busy is almost a badge of
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honor. It's like Wendi we sit back and think, oh, how are you doing today,
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Wendi? Oh, I'm busy. It's like, that's
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not a good thing. And so, again, a
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sense of privilege. I have really tried to find a
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balance between the good things in my life and the things that
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are necessities, things that are really going to
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create the changes in my family and in the world around me that I can
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actually touch and be a part of. And that means that sometimes when
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I'm thinking about all of my my schedules and my calendar,
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I'm putting things off for weeks or months that are capable of being
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done in that situation because urgency is often something that gets
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in the way of actually walking out the stuff that we're
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talking about. I was at a a gathering last night with a couple of other
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crazy Calgarians focusing on community building and and
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how relationships are important. And one of the things that came up repeatedly
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was how both systems like the way we build our neighborhoods
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and the way that we've built some of our our focus on a
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capitalistic pursuit of profits have actually harmed our ability to
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just get to know our neighbors and the people in our our natural communities,
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our villages. And one of the things that kept coming up was there was
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a a postal worker, and they were still in one of those
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regions where Canada Post does to the house mail.
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And when she stops and has a conversation with someone
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that she doesn't have an intimate relationship, but she has a familiar relationship
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with, it becomes an an impactful part of their life. And so
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that person is slowing down enough, and I use the phrase intentional collisions
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where it's like I'm intentionally creating spaces where I know I'm gonna
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bump into Wendi or I'm gonna bump into Johan because they matter to me and
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because those relationships matter to me, it forces me to
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slow down. It forces me to change my expectations
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of what success looks like because I could easily just turn it into
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busy. I'm running from one meeting to another, one Zoom to another, one thing
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to the next, and I don't have room to just slow
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down in my cul de sac, slow down on a walk with my dog, and
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have a conversation with someone else. And I find when I
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really look at the the flip side to this overwhelming dilemma
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that we're wrestling with is that by slowing down and intentionally
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crafting spaces where I know I'm going to spend time with my neighbors and the
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people that are directly around me, I find that I end up
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gaining health, and I'm I'm able to actually do some of the other
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important work that I work in better because I've been
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able to give myself a chance to breathe. That is so helpful
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because when we look at our day, we all have
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no matter where we come from, what personality types,
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what economic status we have, what city we're in, we all
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have twenty four hours. We all have seven days a week. We
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all have permission to take Sabbath. In fact, encouragement
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to receive the Sabbath from the Lord, whether that's on a a day
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or just incorporated. The Bible talks so much
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about rest and relationships. And so what you're
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talking about is so important. It's not just what we cram in as
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doing. It's what we're being in those spaces.
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And that needs to take precedence as well in a a culture
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that is very much capitalistic, moving up and succeeding
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and being more productive. Now you're talking to an
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Enneagram eight who loves productivity and efficiency,
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and yet relationships are so valuable. Can we
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have a meaningful, purposeful life
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while being in relationships? How have you played that out? Have you been
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on purpose in the relationships you invest in? Because I I also know,
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even Jesus knows, there were crowds looking after him. And there was
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times he got away and then times he had compassion, or he always had
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compassion, but times he stopped even in the busyness to have compassion.
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What's that look like for you in Calgary? Well, one of the
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things that it's it's a it's a bit of a sociological trope,
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but there's a a limit to the amount of active relationships
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we can have. Healthy levels of relationship where you
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have the the ones and twos. Usually, this is husband, wife, maybe
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family, your children. Then you've got a slightly larger troop that's
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like your slightly larger, maybe direct family, brothers and
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sisters, parents, that kind of thing. Then you've got an extended family of up to
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70 people. And then you've got this limit at around a
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40. And so if you think as a human
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being before 1900, the
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active relationships we would have would be in that 40
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person kind of thing. The comparison between
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then and now is such a a massive shift
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where when I think about my friends on Facebook or my
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connections on LinkedIn, the amount of people that live even just in my
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neighborhood that I drive past every day, Calgary is
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expected to hit 2,000,000 people within the next decade. How do
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I live in a city where I'm expected to both
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connect with, to have relationship with, to interact with
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that many people and still do it in a healthy way.
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For me, during COVID, one of the things that I
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think I actually found really healthy was that my slowdown, those
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intentional collisions, started creating little hubs of
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connection. For example, I I love coffee. And if you ever
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spend time with me here in Calgary, I'll I'll give you an experience of a
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lifetime around Wendi. For good coffee in Calgary. You you showed me some
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good places, and, you're talking to, some, coffee
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lovers here. Well, I try to share that love of
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coffee with others. And because in COVID, you couldn't do anything of gathering,
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you couldn't meet in buildings, I started running a cafe
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cul de sac. And so I live in this beautiful little cul de sac, and
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I'd bring my coffee machine out and get all my neighbors around. We'd
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have conversations and times of this, and it became a weekly
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rhythm of connecting. And it didn't matter if you were there every
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single time or if there was a time where you had to skip out.
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There was always a knowledge that you were gonna be able to come back and
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loop back in. And so by having these kind of rhythms
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created, there was a beauty in connecting with these people on the
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mundane, on the less beautiful, exciting parts of
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life, not the Instagram, not the TikTok
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reels. These are the kinds of things where it's like, hey. How was your day?
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It was boring. I did some paperwork. I cut the lawn.
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Well, that's awesome. Let's let's drink a coffee and spend time together.
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Those were some of the most beautiful times of just
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creating space and holding it for my community members that
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for me, I've tried really hard to keep that going. There's
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a phrase that Byung Chul Johan uses in a book called The
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Burnout Society. It's called self exploitation, where I
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do this to myself. I like take advantage of myself. I try and
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take these little crazy ideas, and I scale them. And sometimes
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the biggest problem is is that when I try and scale my little cul de
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sac cafe and start running a cafe for, like, 5,000 people,
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guess what? I can't do that. And so I have to
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remember that even when I do see something good
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by pouring fuel onto it, by trying to go to this extreme,
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I'm actually exploding myself and harming myself,
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leading to things like burnout and that pressure to achieve and a constant need for
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productivity are are symptoms of that sense
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of this isn't enough. But if I can say
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just sitting here with you, having a conversation with a Wendi,
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and having to accomplish nothing apart from
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relationship, going back to what you said, Johan, that sense of just
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being, this is truly an identity thing. And it's it's
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a sense of I am enough as I am. God created me
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as a beautiful, loved being. That's enough.
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I don't have to accomplish. There's a a beautiful language around, like,
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the Enneagram, and I'm an Enneagram too. And one of
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the things about the helper is that we often see our identity as only
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being good and useful when I serve someone
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else. When I empty myself out, only then do I actually have
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value. And one of the things that God has been trying to teach
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me over my entire life, and I'm still learning this,
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is that I can never earn their love more.
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I can never find more value in their eyes
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than I did when I was born, when I had nothing. And I could give
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nothing, and I needed everything. In that moment, I had all of the love
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of God that they would ever show to me in that moment.
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Yeah. I think that's really valuable out of a sense of being
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and tied with that, our belovedness of being
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enough because we are created in god's image, out of our
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belovedness, out of our being, getting curious of who
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I am, not in a self glorifying way, but
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being curious about how God created us. You you sharing
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about that your inner motivations on an enneagram or there's a variety
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of ways of finding out who we are, I think is a great starting point
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because out of that, we can see the shadow sides. We can see the
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the the ways that God has created us to be
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with others that you don't have to be a certain way and say,
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oh, we have to scale our schedules down like this because
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that's the glorified way. But out of you
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being, Zach, other people are getting the authentic you, and
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I love what you're saying. It's more about the quality
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and the intentionality of our connections than
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dropping all things and not doing the initiatives that you're
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doing. You're still doing things, but that's not necessarily
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your identity. It's coming out of who you
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are. And I think that's beautiful when we can
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actively still do stuff out of a a deep sense of
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who we are. Yeah. And and this is just me and
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my one person's perspective. The three of us are very different
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humans. And the strengths and the
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skill sets that we have, therefore, have a chance to be expressed
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in different ways. Me doing hyper local
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individual relationship stuff with my neighbors doesn't stop
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me from being involved in politics, involved in government's work,
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involved in systems change. It just means that when I
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do choose to go into those spaces, they
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have to still let me do the smaller things where I
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actually think, getting to know my kids and
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spending time with them is just as important
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as anything I might do that would touch all Albertans. And I think that
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that's a wrestling act that sometimes we have when we think about
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this think bigger, start local kind of thing. We have to hold them
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intention. Mhmm. I've worked in weird roles. If you ever look
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at my CV, you'll you'll chuckle because I I've done
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everything from work as a behavioral specialist in a psych hospital to
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being a paramedic firefighter to working in government relations and public
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policy. I have touched everything from
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someone has a car accident. I'm there with
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them in that one. And I've written policy that has
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affected all the four and a half million Albertans. And I
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have that weird thing where it's like, I where am I gonna put my
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time? Where am I gonna allow myself to be this? And it and it
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isn't an or thing. It can be and, But if we
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let the and become such a thing that we overwhelm ourselves
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because of that expectation of I have to be
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Zach or I have to be Wendi, it's harmful to us. So
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lean into your strengths. Lean into the things that you're good at. And I think
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that in that moment, figuring out what matters most both to you and to the
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people around you is an exploration. Yeah. And today, we're
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talking about being hijacked by busy. And
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the the detriment we're talking about to our relationships is that
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it can eat away. It can steal away our compassion,
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that relational compassion for the other, and
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even for ourselves, because we get on this,
20:49
hamster wheel, and we just go, go, go. And before you know it, I don't
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think anybody chooses to go on a hamster wheel, but all of a sudden, it
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the the speed intensifies. And what I've
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noticed is that then relationships
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and those closest to me, they can suffer. I can
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suffer in self kindness. Can you tell me about what that
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looks like for you and how you've been how you've been
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able to maintain or pursue compassion for people
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while your proposals intensify, while your
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negotiations intensify, while your family life, just the the
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natural day to day things intensify. How have you
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gotten off that hamster wheel? Well, there's
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been the the worst side of things. A number of years ago,
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I had, some significant health concerns.
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I had, just welcomed our third child into the
21:44
world. I was working a full time
21:47
managerial role with a a provincial nonprofit. I
21:51
was on the board of three nonprofits plus serving in our local
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church and then trying to
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help build into my community. And You're basically a subject
22:02
expert on this episode. For crying out loud, honestly.
22:06
And then we had a major family emergency that
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stopped my life. And
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this is where that mental break mixed with physical
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exhaustion, mixed with relational just
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shuttering happened. And in
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that moment, I had, for better or for worse,
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a decision I had to make. I had to decide, am
22:32
I going to allow for me to breathe?
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Am I going to allow for my family
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to have me Zach, or am I going to keep
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pouring myself out into the world? And I
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had the physical limitations
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actually forced me to make that decision. And so
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I never would recommend burnout or a a
22:58
complete mental physical fall apart, to anyone. But
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that was what happened to me once. Hence, from that,
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the the sense of I am going to make different
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decisions. I'm going to learn how to
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say no so that my family and those that
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are dearest to me do not
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lose me or suffer. My wife jokingly, but not jokingly,
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says, on my tombstone, it'll say something akin to, if not me,
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then whom? And there is a
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truth behind that that says Zach is known for being the
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one that you call upon and will always be there for you. I
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will pour out myself for you. And yet
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Wendi he's done that to a point of death, what good is
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he? And so if that's a shift that I have over
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the last number of years, the real answer is learning to say
23:55
no. And to say busy is not healthy. Busy is not where I want to
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be. That self exploitation cannot
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continue. The phrase, don't forget to put the
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mask on you first, that they say in, on every
24:09
airplane has to be the way that especially those of us that are in the
24:13
helper kind of world have to remember.
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And so when we do that well, we can continue
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being a force for good, a a force for
24:25
health and change in our nation Yeah. Because we've
24:28
paused, because we've Sabbath. A friend of mine is working on her
24:32
her doctoral dissertation all on Sabbath. And this beauty
24:36
of sitting back and saying, this is core to
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who we are called to be. The the Genesis story
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starts with the creation of time and sacred
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rhythms, And one of those sacred rhythms is
24:50
Sabbath. And so saying, no, I'm not going to do
24:54
that good thing that I encourage you to continue chasing after. Good
24:58
on you. But for me, I will not be able to
25:01
participate because I need margin, I need space,
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allows you to handle the things. When when something significant
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happens, you don't boil over.
25:13
We'll be right back with our conversation. Now back to the
25:17
conversation. So have you determined what
25:21
you say no to? Me being a list guy, I like my formulas.
25:25
Kinda what's your process? What goes through your head where you find that
25:28
balance between meaningful and busyness?
25:32
So sometimes, it's literal
25:36
I don't have room to my calendar. That is probably the first thing that
25:40
that I'll say. It's like yesterday, like,
25:43
literally right now, somebody invited me to an event
25:47
that they felt that my voice and my lived experience and the things that I'm
25:51
good at would bring value to this conversation.
25:54
And they were like, hey, Zach, could you be here tomorrow? And
25:58
do you know what my answer was? No. Thank
26:02
you. I appreciate that. It sounds like a really
26:06
good thing to be a part of, and I appreciate your invitation and
26:09
thinking of me. I can't participate. I'm sorry. I don't have capacity right now.
26:14
Now. Another thing is by actually putting in my calendar. A lot
26:17
of new technologies are coming out that help trying to
26:21
actually help us be more busy. I'm using them to help me be less
26:24
busy. I'm I'm saying these are blocks in my calendar. If you wanna
26:28
have a meeting with me, if you wanna set up a a consultation, if you
26:32
want my expertise in a professional way,
26:36
here's my availability. If that doesn't work for you, I'm sorry. I can't help
26:40
you. And by doing that, again, there's a
26:43
part of this that's privileged where it's like I'm not working a blue collar job.
26:47
I'm not at a job nine to five, Monday to Friday, working
26:51
my butt off, and then having to come home and take
26:55
my kids to soccer or hockey and be involved with church
26:59
and and and. I'm actually saying in
27:03
practice, I have had the privilege of being
27:06
able to say, no. I don't need you
27:11
to show my identity as valued, and therefore, I
27:14
can say no to you without having to feel like that. So that that's the
27:18
first one. Like, literal time management. There's a a gentleman by
27:21
the name of Sean Blanc. He's a he's a great guy. He's done a lot
27:25
of work on focus. And one of the things that he
27:28
really pushes for is deep work. In an
27:32
economy where our skill sets sitting at a computer are just as
27:36
valuable as the ones at the guy at the garage, We
27:39
have a different requirement set upon us. And
27:43
so, like, I have the ability to say, my emotional
27:47
and mental energy ex exerted means I'm exhausted at the end of
27:51
this piece, and I'm gonna take time. I'm gonna have Sabbath in my
27:54
rhythm. I'm gonna do that. And so that's the first piece. The second one is
27:58
is actually a lot more nebulous. So I'm sorry. There's no
28:02
easy list answer. It's who are the people
28:06
that I'm wanting to invest in most, and how does this affect
28:09
them? So for me, in my neighborhood, we're working
28:13
on a youth mental health and addictions project called Planet Youth. It's a
28:17
collective action coming together, everybody putting their skill set
28:21
into a project. And as a father of teenagers and as
28:24
someone who thinks about these kinds of things as important, because it's
28:28
directly connected to my children and their future and their livelihood and their friends
28:32
in my, neighborhood, I'm involved in that. And so I'm helping lead this
28:36
community action team. And so I've chosen to do that.
28:40
But there's also food insecurity and new
28:43
Canadians that are coming into our neighborhood. And Wendi and and and
28:47
so I had to start saying no to things that were
28:51
tangential to my family because my family
28:54
was the beginnings of how I build community.
28:58
So does it affect the people that matter most to me? And then if I
29:01
have time, what else? Okay. So my neighborhood,
29:05
my community association, those are things that in my personal life,
29:08
I give time to. But I had to have capacity
29:12
first, and then it had to factor into who does this touch most.
29:16
Now for some people, that might be, a people group. Maybe it's
29:20
not my immediate family that I'm thinking about. Maybe it's a faith
29:23
community. Maybe it's a an cultural group or an ethnic group that
29:27
is focusing all of my energies towards that kind of
29:31
thing. You just have to decide that people group that
29:34
matters most to you and where you're gonna put your time and energy, and then
29:38
look for opportunities to be a blessing into those spaces. And so
29:42
to me, those are the two questions. Do I have capacity? And then who am
29:45
I wanting to best serve? Yeah. And to counter
29:49
that, the the question that raises in my mind is
29:52
that when there is a person
29:56
at the street corner that is hungry, when there's a
29:59
youth aging out, when there's a family in crisis that
30:03
doesn't fit my schedule, when there's a a a young adult that
30:07
needs a home, that doesn't fit my schedule, that interrupts
30:11
what my rhythm and my priorities are, then
30:15
what? Because one of the things that I I'm facing, and I hear what you're
30:18
saying, and I I agree with that, but then there's also the other realities that
30:21
we're seeing so many needs that we have the privilege to say no to that
30:25
other people don't have the privilege of their circumstances. And so
30:29
when does the circumstances in that
30:32
community mindset rather than individual mindset,
30:36
when does that break in and take precedence even when
30:40
it interrupts our schedule, even when it interrupts what
30:43
churches would say, oh, we have programs we don't have time for, and these
30:47
things within our community. Not that they should churches should say yes
30:51
to everything, but countless times, people say, that I that's
30:55
really nice, but it's I just I I can't,
30:59
because we have so many programs. Can we talk to that,
31:03
that tension of those who have privilege, to say no
31:06
to, myself included, to those interruptions,
31:10
those invitations that are begging a
31:13
response from somebody in crisis? I
31:17
think the the question in some ways is
31:21
really about that first one. Do I have capacity? And
31:26
if the answer is no, why is that? What have I said yes
31:30
to that might actually be harmful to my ability to
31:34
do that? I try and both my business and my life hold about a
31:37
20% buffer of time that can be used when an
31:41
urgent thing happens that I need to participate in, whether that's
31:45
a Wendi or a family going through crisis or a more systems
31:49
level things where it's like, how am I helping thinking about food insecurity
31:52
or people experiencing homelessness or or things like that where there is
31:56
a a tangible need at a more
31:59
macro level within my community that aren't necessarily directly connecting
32:03
to me. One of the things that I find often there
32:07
is that, to your point about church calendars and this the busyness
32:11
of all of these programs is that they're not actually
32:15
being a blessing in the way that we think they are. And so we need
32:18
to be really thoughtful about what we have said yes to in the first
32:22
place. And so by saying yes to all of these things doesn't mean
32:26
that now my schedule is full and I don't have any capacity, therefore, I get
32:29
to say no. And I think that you're right to challenge that because sometimes that's
32:32
the easiest thing to do. If I have a full calendar,
32:36
I don't have the capacity to say yes to the thing
32:40
that's right in front of me. And then I can feel
32:43
justified in saying, I'm overwhelmed.
32:47
I have no more left to give. I'm going to walk
32:51
past this man. And when I think about things like the Good
32:54
Samaritan, the story is really interesting because the two
32:58
who walked past him at the beginning have justified
33:02
reasons for continuing to walk down their path, whether that's
33:06
because they have somewhere to be, they have religious obligations
33:09
that prevent them from becoming unclean. All of those things are
33:13
justified responses to the tangible needs in front of us.
33:17
But I think what Jesus does in that moment is he challenges the
33:20
foundational expectations of what the group was doing because all of those things
33:24
made sense to them. Of course, that person would just keep walking,
33:27
except when he sends this Samaritan, this
33:31
outsider, this person who they would have been angry at
33:35
even just because of their existence is the one
33:38
that seeks to be a blessing, who does take time
33:42
out of their, perhaps, busy schedule to be a blessing in
33:46
that moment, he takes this whole thing and turns it on its head.
33:50
And so my question would be and I had to ask this question of myself.
33:54
Why am I so busy? One of the things that I
33:58
had to choose to say no to were some of those church programs.
34:02
I was, and if you know me well enough,
34:05
it fits, I was one of those super volunteers that was giving five to ten
34:09
hours a week to our church as a lay leader.
34:13
And there was never a place. I was raised in that culture,
34:16
though. Whenever the lights were on and the doors were open, the Manntai
34:20
were at church. And the thing that actually pushed me
34:24
into the worldview that I have today was actually just that.
34:28
If all I'm good for is building this
34:32
church structure, building programming and preaching and
34:36
worship and all of these other good things at the
34:39
expense of loving my neighbor, at the expense of
34:43
seeing the need around me and stopping and slowing down as I
34:46
walk past it? How am I actually being
34:50
an image bearer of God in in a good way? Am I doing it
34:54
well? And I think that this is what's hard about this is
34:58
that the simple answers to an overwhelming dilemma is to
35:01
do less, give yourself capacity, start small, practice
35:05
reflection, and then you're done. Except if going
35:09
back to what you're kind of highlighting here, Wendi, I'm already
35:12
overwhelmed and full. I can easily then not do the things that actually
35:16
will create change and aren't actual blessings to the people around
35:20
me. Yeah. And I think in the economy of God, when we
35:24
do have that person laying on the side of the road, whatever that represents in
35:27
our life that we say, hey. I see this, and it's been brought to our
35:31
attention, whether it's for our invitation to to care
35:35
for or not, but we're seeing that it may be an actual
35:38
invitation to get off the hamster wheel. It may be
35:42
that stick in the hamster wheel that screeches us to a halt. It
35:45
might upset our day. It might upset our plans and our future
35:49
in a good way, but I think that's where I'm thinking of Matthew
35:53
11 where he says, come to me all who labor and are
35:57
heavy laden. That's us walking down the road
36:00
with a big agenda with our Google calendars booked up, and
36:04
I will give you rest. So there's that balance I I love to hear.
36:08
Take my yoke upon you. Is it that person on the side
36:12
of the road or whatever that is representing? And learn from
36:15
me. This is not a checklist. It's a leaning
36:19
into God. God, what do you want me to do in this situation? It it's
36:23
almost like God wants us to depend on him, oh, or
36:27
depend on each other for that wisdom to learn from him in
36:30
community. Yeah. For I am gentle and lowly in heart, and
36:34
I will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and
36:37
my burden is light. And I can testify that when
36:41
God has put a spoke in my will and screeched me to a halt
36:45
with things that I didn't have time for, that was exactly his
36:49
mercy on me, and it's interrupted me. It's made me
36:52
uncomfortable, but it's it's made me say no to the right things I thought were
36:56
the right things. Yeah. Well and I think that when you sit in that
37:00
moment, this might sound like a like a flip
37:03
flop, but when God has Zach actively showing me where to
37:07
put my time and I've been leaning into God's
37:11
voice in a more tangible way, I don't feel overwhelmed
37:15
and exhausted. I don't feel like I have nothing left to give. And so there
37:18
is a piece to this where it's like Wendi I'm walking with holy spirit in
37:22
a way that is truly aware of
37:25
both the eyes of God on on the world and the places, there
37:29
is an abundance in both those that come alongside me to
37:33
to serve and to support, and I don't feel like I'm overwhelmed. I
37:36
don't feel like I have nothing left to give. But the worst part
37:40
is when I try and do things on my own, that's when I
37:44
feel like I am forcing good at the
37:47
expense of resting in him. And and that kind of language and that motif that
37:51
that he talks about as the shepherd and and asking us to just come and
37:54
sit with him, it's hard. Like, my mind goes straight to Mary
37:58
and Martha. And it's like the it wasn't wrong that
38:02
Martha was doing good work in the kitchen. It wasn't wrong that she
38:05
was doing these things, but especially because of her
38:09
heart towards Mary in that moment where Mary is just sitting at the feet of
38:13
Jesus and just saying, I want to be close to you.
38:17
Martha's response to that is the problem.
38:21
It's the busy seeking of of validation through acts
38:25
and all of these things that that actually Jesus is calling her out on.
38:28
It's like, but why won't you just come and sit with me? Like, don't be
38:32
mad at her. Don't don't judge her harshly for this. Know that
38:36
she is seeking to be with me. And I
38:40
think that when we do spend time
38:43
pausing, sabbathing, like the throughout the
38:47
Psalms, you see the word that is translated salah,
38:51
pause. It's meant to be a part of the rhythms.
38:54
Going back to Genesis, like, this is why the cyclical
38:58
nature of of creation exists is to show us there is a
39:02
time for this and a time for this and a time for this and a
39:04
time for this. And pauses, Sabbath
39:08
are key to making sure that there is a
39:12
healthy way for us to say, I'm not
39:15
overwhelmed and I'm not bad or wrong for just sitting
39:19
here and soaking in his presence. And
39:23
when I see the need to not put
39:27
precedence on the tasks that I have on my to do list
39:31
because being a blessing is
39:35
the call on every single one of us. We are called to seek the
39:38
restoration and reconciliation of all creation back to Christ. And if
39:42
that's who we are called to be, then truly being a follower of
39:46
Jesus means that in that moment, seeing the need and being
39:49
able to take ourselves out of maybe our busy
39:53
highway world and pausing and slowing down. And in
39:57
doing that, needing to have had the capacity in the first place. Learning
40:01
how to say no. Learning how to say, I'm not gonna just doomscroll
40:05
and watch twenty four seven news and feel like I can't do it
40:08
all. But sitting back, a good friend
40:12
of mine and I, we're gluttons for punishment in this world.
40:16
Again, I'm not speaking out of, a sense of
40:19
arrivedness. I'm I'm reminded of Paul, like, it's not like I've figured this all
40:23
out. I'm I'm still in this race with you. But that when I
40:27
am healthy, you'll more likely see me reading fiction.
40:31
Why is that? It's because I'm healthy enough to slow
40:35
down and do something considered frivolous,
40:38
enjoying a good book that isn't about business
40:42
development or isn't about social change for justice.
40:46
It's a fantasy book where I get to escape for a moment
40:49
and just be present in a world that isn't
40:53
chasing me or calling me to chase it. And being able
40:57
to do that in a healthy way, that speaks to my health,
41:01
and it speaks to my ability to say I can breathe better. I I'm
41:05
more healthy now, and therefore, I can do these things.
41:08
Yeah. I think you've answered one of the questions that I had in this conversation
41:13
of, a practical step, and I think you've identified it so
41:17
well, is that when we stop and when we Sabbath,
41:21
that's when we can look at our dashboard, not coming out of
41:25
formulaic, I'm gonna do this, this, and this, and almost make Sabbath part of our
41:29
busy schedule. But out of a sense of rest, we start off
41:32
our week in that or we start off our day in that that
41:36
posture of Sabbath. We can actually pay attention to our
41:39
dashboard. We can actually learn from him for his yoke is easy. We
41:43
can actually lean in and say, okay, god. What is it? And so that when
41:47
interruptions come our way, we're in a posture
41:51
of receiving and learning. Do you think that
41:55
busyness, the act of being so scheduled and full and
41:59
glorified in in busyness, is really a drug of
42:03
choice? And and that's not just for the
42:06
world, but within the church. Busyness can be a drug of choice.
42:10
And we almost needed Sabbath is kind of detoxing from that
42:14
possibly. So for me, I think
42:18
especially when I think about the population size of the Earth and I think
42:21
about the increases in technology,
42:25
what we have created is a
42:29
like sociologists will talk about how dopamine hits from
42:32
technology beeps and notifications and doom
42:35
scrolling and this constant feed of information have
42:40
created a, a brokenness in us where we don't
42:44
actually know how to slow down and how to be bored, how to
42:48
connect with people right in front of us. Because these
42:52
amazing technological marvels and this massive amount of
42:56
humans all around us content creating all the time, they're a
43:00
facsimile for connection. And so busyness
43:04
and this overabundance of twenty four
43:07
hour news cycle and social media create a really easy
43:11
out that actually harms our ability to to be
43:15
present and pause. And it exacerbates the busyness
43:18
expectation of everything Zach KPIs and measurement. Everything is measurement from an economics perspective.
43:22
If you talk to a person working in a nonprofit, even though they perspective. If
43:26
you talk to a person working in a nonprofit, even though they know that
43:30
the social connection between humans is a difficult,
43:33
almost intangible thing that you can't easily measure, you need to
43:37
create a a measurable out of it so that you can go to your
43:41
funders, you can go to these things. And so no matter what industry you're
43:44
in, no matter what space you find yourself,
43:48
the drive from an economic
43:52
lens for more and faster and busier
43:55
and bigger, they percolate into our
43:59
relationships. And for me, I think that
44:03
this is one of those cancers
44:07
Zach, actually, it's funny. I never as we're talking this through,
44:10
I'm like, that is what cancer is. It's when a cell doesn't
44:14
know what its life cycle is. It doesn't know
44:18
the the end. Go back to that rhythms kind of thing. A cycle
44:22
is is meant to have a beginning and an Wendi. And,
44:25
the busyness cycle of life is just this constant churn, this
44:29
constant noise. And we don't actually have those pauses
44:33
like Sabbath, like a moment of just sitting in the
44:36
spaces that we have and saying, I have nothing to do
44:40
right now, and that is okay. This is good. I don't
44:44
feel the need to perform. And I think when
44:47
we keep coming back to measuring
44:51
ourselves at these not human scale
44:55
things, it it continues to put pressure on us
44:58
to to be happy, expected
45:02
to say, yeah, Johan. I'm just busy right now. It's
45:06
good. Rather Johan, it's busy right now. Something has
45:09
to change. That's really good. I know there's a ton of things
45:13
for me to chew on, and we can get into this a lot more. And
45:17
we're actually gonna have you on again in this series a few more times.
45:21
But we need to wrap it up here. Do you have one thing our
45:24
listeners can walk away with today that they can implement into their
45:28
week to be less busy? So the
45:32
problem is giving them a task to make them less busy is kind of counterproductive.
45:36
But but
45:39
I would actually recommend something as simple as
45:43
walking around your neighborhood, your village without your
45:47
phone and doing it intentionally looking
45:50
and listening. There's a practice in the urban development space called the
45:54
Jane's Walk. And so one of the things that we
45:58
did for the Our City Calgary conference last year in in my
46:02
station was we went for effectively a
46:05
Jane's Walk in my neighborhood, but through a more spiritual
46:09
lens. You may be familiar with the practice of Lekta Divina. It's a
46:12
sense of sitting and listening to a passage of scripture being read,
46:16
and you listened for both what God is calling
46:20
you to hear, what do you see, and what do you feel
46:24
called to do out of it. And we were calling the people who were walking
46:27
with me to do the same for the neighborhood that they were in. And so
46:31
one of the things that I think grounds us is the people and
46:34
place that we live in. And so whether that's your work,
46:38
maybe that's where you feel called to, whether it's your neighborhood, your physical
46:42
home, whether it's some other people group, I would say go for a walk
46:46
there without distractions and just listen to the stories, listen to the
46:49
words, listen to the sounds, and do it in a way that is
46:54
a pause. It's a salah. It's a break in your morning, in your day,
46:57
in your evening. Go for a walk without distractions and
47:01
just listen. And I think that that's a good practice to
47:05
have because that's when I started seeing and hearing things
47:09
in my neighborhood that actually called my attention to maybe this is
47:12
where I should be putting some more of my time, which meant that I had
47:15
to take it away from somewhere else. That's great. And then and Wendi and
47:19
I are actually gonna unpack a lot of what you said today. Next
47:23
episode, we're we're doing every other episode. We're calling it second
47:27
thoughts where we get to actually digest some of the stuff that we're hearing from
47:30
our guests, rather than going on to the next guest. We really wanna
47:34
put this stuff into practice. So I know, Wendi, you're going on a bit of
47:38
a vacation, so you'll have time to practice. Homework here, guys. I I'm not
47:41
the expert at not being busy, but I'm going on holidays to
47:45
tomorrow, and I'm looking forward to our next episode. I'm gonna
47:49
tell you what it means to pause, get off the the rat race,
47:53
and and actually take in some of the stuff that we've been talking
47:57
about doing it and looking forward to continuing this
48:00
conversation in next Friday. So thank you so much
48:04
for joining us, Sec. My pleasure, guys. And, I
48:07
think this is important for all of us. Like you said, Wendi, we're
48:11
we're all in this together. We each have our own cross to bear,
48:15
so to speak, and we have to learn from each other about ways that we
48:18
can step out of the busy and and try and hold
48:22
space for where God is actually calling us to be and who we are.
48:26
Appreciate you, bro. So this is the time in the show where we
48:30
do our segment called Care
48:33
lingo. Alright. The first of our Care lingo
48:37
segment where we take the mystery out of some insider language you might
48:41
hear, from us or other people in caring
48:44
communities. And our phrase today is compassion
48:48
fatigue. Now before we give the real definition,
48:52
Johan, I'm just wondering if we could play some balderdash here a little. And if
48:55
you were to hear, the word compassion fatigue for the first
48:59
time, what might you think it means? I gotta think about
49:03
that. And you mentioned balderdash. I just played with my youngest daughter this
49:07
weekend, and she absolutely kicked my butt. So
49:11
she might be the better person to have on to do this. I know the
49:13
apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Oh, it might be fun to have more
49:17
people on this segment anyway. You know, once we get some momentum going and
49:21
and we get those words out there on the on the Facebook CareImpact
49:25
podcast group. Yes. You know, so might other people getting
49:28
involved. Maybe there's words they don't
49:34
oodles of Christianese words. Oh my goodness. Do we have balderdash to
49:38
play? My goodness. We start talking weird, don't we? And I'd like
49:41
to hear what people's definitions are, what they think they might be.
49:45
Anyway, compassion fatigue. We're getting back to the word. Right? Yes.
49:49
I would say as someone hearing the term for the first time,
49:53
it's it's what happens when you spent too much time in a room full
49:57
of empathetic people who just won't stop talking about their
50:00
feelings. Ew. You know, you start to feel
50:03
drained. And every time someone says, how does that
50:07
make you feel? You just want to crawl into a hole
50:11
and die. It's the emotional equivalent to too much small talk at a
50:15
dinner party where I just want to scream, I'm fine, but
50:18
no one's listening. That may be what I'm thinking.
50:22
Maybe that scenario may or may not be something that is a fingernail
50:26
chalkboard moment for someone similar to me, not me, but someone similar to
50:30
me. What would you say is the real definition without it?
50:33
Your definition makes me fatigued already because I I'm
50:37
with you. I'm like, oh, too much feelings. Let's get into action. I I
50:41
do like feelings, but where are we going? But the actual definition of
50:44
compassion fatigue happens when caring for others starts
50:48
to feel emotionally draining, like, where we've been expending expending
50:52
our energy and our our care and our compassion towards others,
50:56
caring for very real and needed spaces. However,
51:00
we're finite creatures. Right? And so it's like your heart
51:03
gets tired from carrying the weight of other people's struggles. And without
51:07
some good self care, soul care, and rejuvenation,
51:12
we can easily get into a a case of burnout.
51:16
So compassion fatigue, when not cared for, can
51:19
lead to burnout. And you'll see that common, and this
51:23
language is often talked about among caregivers, foster parents,
51:27
adoptive parents, parents in general, and frontline
51:30
workers, social workers, church ministry leaders who
51:34
are giving a lot of their compassion towards others.
51:39
Does that make sense? Yeah. And we talked about it a little bit with Zach,
51:42
I think, too. So this gives it a little bit more context and a definition.
51:45
So, again, listeners, I Manntai encourage you go to our CareImpact
51:49
podcast group on Facebook at the on the CareImpact page, and you can
51:52
suggest new terms or phrases or even definitions if we
51:56
post them. So, yeah. First Care lingo segment.
52:02
Thank you for joining us on Journey with Care. To get more information on
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52:13
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52:16
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52:24
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meaningful
52:35
impact.