Latest / REZ CHURCH Podcast / Real Life Only Comes Through Real Loss - February 1, 2026
Transcript
- 0:00All right, good morning, Resurrection Church.
- 0:02My name is Richard. I am the high school youth
- 0:05director here at Rez. And what that basically means is
- 0:09God thought I should do high school all over again because I
- 0:12didn't get it right the first time.
- 0:18By 30 years old, I have made a complete mess of my life.
- 0:22I was an alcoholic. I couldn't keep a job.
- 0:25I had two broken families, barely a father to my two kids,
- 0:30no real relationship with my own family because I was a dirtbag.
- 0:36And I was so prideful. I kept doing things my way.
- 0:41Nobody could tell me otherwise. And that pride, it's what
- 0:46brought me to the lowest point of my life.
- 0:50And it's where I finally learned what Jesus meant when He said in
- 0:54John 1224, Truly, I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls to
- 1:00the ground and dies, it remains by itself.
- 1:04But if it dies, it produces much fruit.
- 1:08Join me today in John 12. There's a lot that goes on in
- 1:12here. It's a beautiful chapter and I
- 1:14encourage you to go and read it. Today we're going to look at 3
- 1:20verses. Focus on three verses in John
- 1:221224 through 26 and these 3 verses.
- 1:27I feel like I've been living them out for the past 10 years
- 1:31and I'm desperately trying to get past verse 26.
- 1:36John 1224 through 26. Truly, I tell you, unless a
- 1:41grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains by
- 1:45itself. But if it dies, it produces much
- 1:49fruit. The one who loves his life will
- 1:52lose it, and the one who hates his life in this world will keep
- 1:56it for eternal life. If anyone serves me, he must
- 2:01follow me. Where I am, there my servant
- 2:06also will be. If anyone serves me, the Father
- 2:10will honor him. Taking a moment and imagine this
- 2:14with me. The disciples have been
- 2:16following Jesus for three years. They've seen the miracles,
- 2:19they've seen the teaching. And out of nowhere, Jesus starts
- 2:24talking about death first, about his own.
- 2:29Jesus is talking about what he's about to do.
- 2:33He's saying I'm willing to give up my life, not protect it, so
- 2:38that many others can be saved and redeemed.
- 2:42But he's also talking about theirs.
- 2:45Death to self, death to self rule.
- 2:49They had to shock them because that's not what they were
- 2:53expecting. And if we're honest, we struggle
- 2:58with that too. We're shocked when Jesus doesn't
- 3:01do what we expect them to do. Because instead of building our
- 3:07lives on Jesus, we want Jesus to help us with the life that we
- 3:12already built for ourselves. And I've done that.
- 3:17I wanted Jesus to help me with the life that I built.
- 3:22Let me show you what living in verses 24 through 26 look like
- 3:27for me and how I've learned the hard way that real life only
- 3:33comes through real loss. If you remember one thing from
- 3:37today, remember real life only comes through real loss.
- 3:45In February 2015, I went out drinking on a Wednesday night,
- 3:51drove home, got arrested, went to jail.
- 3:55The next morning I get out and I had this overwhelming sense that
- 4:00I needed God in my life and I needed to go to church.
- 4:06I didn't know where to go. I didn't grow up in church, but
- 4:10that Sunday I ended up in one. At that point in my life, I was
- 4:14drinking 1/5 of vodka a day. I'd quit for a few a few days,
- 4:21then fall back. I quit for a week and then drink
- 4:24again. But no matter how much I failed,
- 4:28I kept going to church. Two months later, April 5th,
- 4:332015, Easter Sunday, I was sitting in church watching a
- 4:38live skit and the man was having a conversation with God and God
- 4:44was telling him follow me, leave it all behind and just follow
- 4:47me. And the man was asking God, if I
- 4:51follow you, if I leave all this behind, what am I going to be?
- 4:55What will people think? What will people say?
- 4:59And he asks again, what will I be?
- 5:02And God said, you'll be whatever I called you to be.
- 5:07And that hit me hard because I was asking God the same thing,
- 5:12because I was the party guy, the bar guy, the guy that chased
- 5:16money and women. I was asking God, if I walk away
- 5:21from all this, what will I be? And I felt, God, tell me you'll
- 5:26be whatever I've called you to be.
- 5:30So I got up, did the altar call, and I gave my life to Jesus.
- 5:37I'd love to tell you that everything changed overnight,
- 5:41but it didn't. I was still building my life on
- 5:45myself and I stayed sober for six months.
- 5:50And then my pride crept back in. I was in a bad relationship and
- 5:54I grew angry at God because I thought He was supposed to
- 5:59improve my life and he didn't. And that anger, it pushed me
- 6:06right back out. One night I went back drinking.
- 6:10I got kicked out. The next day, I had nowhere to
- 6:12go. I texted my pastor and he got a
- 6:17bed ready for me at his men's home.
- 6:20Here I am, 30 years old, sitting in my car outside of this men's
- 6:24home, gripping the wheel, wrestling with myself inside and
- 6:30my pride wondering how did I end up here breaking a little inside
- 6:36every second because my thoughts are telling me I'm better than
- 6:42this. I was at a fork in the road
- 6:46thinking I don't need this, I can hustle up some money, I'll
- 6:49get my own place. I'll be back at the bars this
- 6:52weekend. Then I heard a knock at the
- 6:56window. It was a guy from the men's home
- 7:00and recognized me from church. I get out of the car and he
- 7:05says, what are you doing here, bro?
- 7:07All I could say is I don't know. And I broke, and he says it's
- 7:12going to be all right, bro, we got you.
- 7:17I remember that first night in the men's home was the lowest
- 7:21point of my life. I remember being in a room full
- 7:29of men in a dorm, but I felt alone in a dark place that I
- 7:36wasn't going to get myself out of.
- 7:40Looking back now, that was my burial.
- 7:45Everything I trusted, my comfort, stability, my pride, my
- 7:50control was gone. I stayed there for two months.
- 7:59Every morning they would get up and pray at 5:00 AM.
- 8:02And this is how deep my pride goes.
- 8:05I'm in there with men from 18 to 65 years old, some getting out
- 8:10of prison, some kicking addiction, some coming off the
- 8:13streets from being homeless. And in my head I go, you know
- 8:18what? I'm going to get up with these
- 8:20guys and I'm going to pray and read my Bible.
- 8:22And man, they need a lot of help.
- 8:25I'm going to show them. But I'd get up every morning.
- 8:34I'd go downstairs and pray with them at 5:00 AM.
- 8:37And while I was there for that two months, I read the entire
- 8:40New Testament and I found Jesus in the Scriptures.
- 8:46It was no longer about what others had to say about him.
- 8:49I meant him for myself. Two weeks after leaving the
- 8:57men's home during worship, the pastor was saying many men will
- 9:05choose to follow Jesus, but many men won't choose to suffer for
- 9:11him. And I don't know why I said it.
- 9:16I didn't plan on it, but I remember raising my hands and
- 9:19saying Lord I love you, thank you for saving me.
- 9:25And I said I will follow you, take everything from me and I
- 9:29will suffer for you. I'll serve you 7 life sentences.
- 9:34And I heard get on your knees. My stomach started turning, my
- 9:40mouth started watering. I had goosebumps from the bottom
- 9:42of my feet to the top of my head.
- 9:44And I'm like, I don't know what's happening.
- 9:46I said I love you Lord, I'll serve you.
- 9:48I'll suffer before you say get on your knees.
- 9:52I was resisting because I was so worried about the people around
- 9:54me that would see me. And he said get on your knees.
- 10:01And I stepped out of the row. My knees buckled and I hit the
- 10:04ground and I wept and I wept and I wept.
- 10:11I realize now what was dying on that floor was me being worried
- 10:15about what other people would think of me.
- 10:18Because when I stood up off that floor, it was the first time
- 10:23ever that I felt the love of God in my life.
- 10:28And I remember looking around that church at everybody, and I
- 10:32thought, I love everyone. I was transformed, I was
- 10:41different, I was made new. And that's what it says in 2nd
- 10:49Corinthians 517. Therefore, if anyone is in
- 10:55Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away and see
- 11:01the new has come. My life wasn't perfect after
- 11:06that, but I was a new person beginning to build my life on
- 11:11Jesus and not myself. Death came first and then real
- 11:20life. It was the beginning of me
- 11:25learning that real life only comes through real loss.
- 11:31Now, you don't have to believe the Bible to know this is true.
- 11:36Real change always cost you something.
- 11:41But here's the problem. Many people will go to the
- 11:44cross, but they never get on the cross.
- 11:50They admire it, they study it, they sing about it, they even
- 11:56cry at the foot of it. But Jesus doesn't call us to
- 12:01visit the cross, He calls us to die on it.
- 12:06That's why Jesus says in Mark 834, if anybody wants to follow
- 12:12after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross and follow me.
- 12:20When Jesus talks about taking up your cross, he's not using a
- 12:24metaphor. In the Roman world, the cross
- 12:27was a death sentence. A condemned person carried it
- 12:32through the streets as a sign of shame and finality.
- 12:37When you saw someone carrying a cross out of the city, you knew
- 12:39one thing. That person wasn't coming back.
- 12:45So take up your cross means total surrender, dying to your
- 12:49old life, to your rights, your control, and declaring that your
- 12:56life is no longer your own. And Jesus says when we do that,
- 13:02we don't lose life, we find it. He's calling us to die to self
- 13:08so we can finally be free. But free from what?
- 13:15Jesus offers three specific types of freedom in his words
- 13:19today. Freedom from sin, freedom from
- 13:24death, and freedom from self. Let's look at each of them.
- 13:32Freedom from sin. Freedom from sin isn't just
- 13:35forgiveness of what we've done, it's freedom from what's been
- 13:40holding you. Sin isn't only about mistakes,
- 13:46it's about being stuck. Patterns you keep falling into,
- 13:52cravings that feel stronger than your will.
- 13:57Identities that you start believing just who you are.
- 14:05When Jesus calls us to die with him, he's saying the old life
- 14:10doesn't get to run things anymore.
- 14:14When something is buried, it loses its authority.
- 14:18It may still pull at you, but it no longer owns you.
- 14:23Burial matters because what goes into the ground doesn't come
- 14:27back in charge. A new life comes out, not
- 14:32perfect, but free. Free to say no, Free to choose
- 14:37differently, Free to stop living as the person you used to be.
- 14:43Jesus doesn't just forgive sinners.
- 14:46He makes new people after the men's home.
- 14:52Jesus broke that cycle of that off of my life.
- 14:57I stayed sober for six years. Then one day I chose to drink
- 15:03again. I chose to go back to something
- 15:06Jesus had already broken off of my life.
- 15:11Over time, my wife became concerned about how often and
- 15:16how much I was drinking. If I'm honest, the Holy Spirit
- 15:24would remind me every time I took a drink.
- 15:26This isn't who you're called to be.
- 15:32But my pride and my selfishness would make excuses and justify
- 15:36it. I kept telling myself I didn't
- 15:41have a problem because I wasn't living like I used to.
- 15:47The truth is, if my wife had a problem with my drinking, that
- 15:51meant I had a problem and I needed to face it head on.
- 16:01I remember praying to God Sin, you broke this off of my life
- 16:05before. Do it again, do it again God.
- 16:14And He did because I couldn't. And I'm sober again today.
- 16:31Here's what I've learned. Self denial isn't a one time
- 16:35moment. It's a way of life.
- 16:41That's why Christians fast to set aside physical needs
- 16:47temporarily, to createspace, to draw closer to God, to seek
- 16:52guidance, and to show dependence on God.
- 16:58Fasting is denying yourself not just from food, but from
- 17:02anything that competes with our pursuit of Jesus.
- 17:07Sometimes it's for days, sometimes it's for seasons.
- 17:12I submit to you today that life is a fast, and if fasting from
- 17:21alcohol from the rest of my life helps me be a better follower of
- 17:27Jesus, to be a better husband, a better father, a better friend,
- 17:35then I'll gladly fast from alcohol for the rest of my life
- 17:38so I can be a better follower of Jesus.
- 17:47Jesus promises freedom, man. He delivers it.
- 17:55What is God asking you today to deny yourself of?
- 17:59What has he been asking you to let go?
- 18:04Maybe it's alcohol. Maybe it's anger and addiction,
- 18:10old habits, pornography. Maybe it's the constant noise
- 18:17from podcasts and news and social media.
- 18:22Or maybe you're like me In past seasons of my life, I was more
- 18:28passionate about pursuing a political party than pursuing
- 18:31Jesus. Or maybe you're like me right
- 18:36now and you struggle with pride like I do.
- 18:42Pride is like bad breath. Everyone else knows you have it
- 18:45but you. And anytime I start thinking I
- 18:52have it all together, my family is there to gently remind me
- 18:58otherwise. And underneath all that sin,
- 19:07habits, pride, there's a deeper fear.
- 19:11Jesus wants to set us free from freedom from death.
- 19:17Freedom from death isn't just about dying someday.
- 19:21It's freedom from the fear that shapes how you live right now.
- 19:25Because Jesus rose from the dead, death isn't the end
- 19:29anymore. And Jesus can ask us to die to
- 19:34ourselves because he's already gone there and defeated it.
- 19:41When that truth sinks in, fear starts to loosen his grip.
- 19:47Our obsession with comfort, control, security, and approval
- 19:51usually comes from being afraid of losing this life.
- 19:55We cling to. We cling to.
- 19:57It's like, like, like it's all we have.
- 20:02But Jesus says that kind of freedom, that kind of living
- 20:06isn't freedom, It's slavery. The resurrection changes
- 20:11everything. Death becomes a doorway, not a
- 20:15dead end. I used to live terrified of
- 20:19losing everything. The men's home was supposed to
- 20:24be the worst thing that ever happened to me.
- 20:28But standing on the other side of it, I realized that that
- 20:32wasn't the end. It was the door.
- 20:37Loss isn't final. Surrender isn't wasted, and
- 20:41Jesus isn't asking us to die to take life from us.
- 20:45He's asking us to let go so we can live a life that matters #3
- 20:55freedom from self. Freedom from self is where the
- 20:59truth gets worked out in everyday life.
- 21:03A lot of what exhausts us isn't obvious sin.
- 21:08It's the constant pressure to protect ourselves, to prove
- 21:11ourselves, and to hold together the life we built.
- 21:18Living like everything depends on us.
- 21:22That's why Jesus says deny yourself, take up your cross,
- 21:27follow me. He's not trying to make life
- 21:29harder, He's trying to make life lighter.
- 21:35Because carrying yourself at the center and it's exhausting.
- 21:41When S is in charge, you're always chasing approval, always
- 21:48needing control, always building your life around comfort and
- 21:52success. And that kind of living will
- 21:55drain you. But when S stops being the
- 21:59center, freedom begins. You're no longer living to
- 22:04preserve your life. You start to live a life that
- 22:07matters. That's why Jesus says in John
- 22:121224, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies,
- 22:19it remains alone. But if it dies, it produces much
- 22:22fruit. This is how the Kingdom works.
- 22:26You lose to multiply. A seat on the surface is
- 22:29useless. No life can come from it.
- 22:34It has to be buried and burial. It looks like loss, but it's
- 22:40where life actually begins. As long as you're protecting
- 22:45your image, clinging to control, guarding your comfort, life is
- 22:50all about you. But when S dies, freedom shows
- 22:56up. And then comes fruit.
- 23:02Not a little fruit, much fruit. A surrendered life doesn't just
- 23:07change you, it multiplies through you.
- 23:12God's Kingdom doesn't grow through holding on, it grows
- 23:15through letting go. And I had to learn that the hard
- 23:22way in John 1226. Jesus goes on to say if anyone
- 23:29serves me, he must follow me. Where I am, there my servant
- 23:35also will be. If anyone serves me, the Father
- 23:38will honor him. That verse focus forced me to
- 23:43confront something in my own life.
- 23:48I realized I had a picture of serving God that looked
- 23:50impressive for me, but wasn't actually about following Jesus.
- 24:00I used to believe that God would be glorified by me becoming this
- 24:03world traveling preacher, evangelist that's serving him
- 24:09and going everywhere, being involved in everything and never
- 24:12being home. I thought that was fruit, but I
- 24:21was pursuing a calling rather than pursuing Jesus.
- 24:29I was forced. I was focused on ministry.
- 24:36I was so focused on ministry that I became blind to my first
- 24:39ministry, my wife and my family. My vision had to die so that I
- 24:47can see God's vision for my life.
- 24:57And now I understand that God will receive the most glory from
- 25:01my life when I take my last breath.
- 25:05And people say he loved God. He loved his wife and his kids,
- 25:10and he loved people. And because I'm following the
- 25:16King, I trust that God will honor my life in order to live a
- 25:24life that truly matters. There will be lost.
- 25:26That's unavoidable. But the Gospel tells us
- 25:30something the world never will. Where there is loss, there is
- 25:36also gain. Before Christ, the apostle Paul
- 25:44had status, education, influence, a future.
- 25:49That all changed after he met Jesus.
- 25:52That's why Paul can say without hesitation in Philippians 3.
- 25:57Whatever gain I had, I count it as loss for the sake of Christ.
- 26:04Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing
- 26:08worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.
- 26:13Paul is saying, I lost what I thought mattered, and I gained
- 26:19what actually does. The seed falls, the old life
- 26:24dies, and what looks like loss becomes gain because Christ is
- 26:30better. And here's the beautiful part
- 26:34about the Kingdom. Your surrender doesn't just
- 26:39change you, it multiplies through you.
- 26:45That man who knocked on my window, my car window outside
- 26:48the men's home, he was fruit from someone else's burial.
- 26:55Someone else had to die to themselves to create that
- 26:58ministry, and now I get to be the fruit for others by
- 27:09marriage. My kids, this church you're
- 27:13sitting here today, that's how the Kingdom grows.
- 27:18Not through self preservation, but through surrender.
- 27:23One seed falls, it dies, and from that death comes an entire
- 27:29harvest. So the question is, what does
- 27:36this actually look like for us? If you're a follower of Jesus, I
- 27:41want to challenge you with two practical ways to die to
- 27:44yourself this week #1 prayer. Pray a certain way.
- 27:53What if your prayers became radically different?
- 27:57What have you committed to pray? Not for your health, your money,
- 28:00your week, your calendar, your trips or expectations?
- 28:07What if the language of your prayer changed completely?
- 28:11Instead of praying about your schedule, your comfort, your
- 28:14vacation time, what if you started praying about what Jesus
- 28:19cares about? Lost people in this city?
- 28:23Kingdom purposes, things that actually matter for eternity.
- 28:29What would it look like if you committed to praying like this 5
- 28:33minutes every day this week? How do you need to change your
- 28:39prayers? What do you need to bury or let
- 28:44go in your prayers? Because it's not pointing
- 28:46towards Jesus and it's pointing towards you.
- 28:51The past couple of weeks, my prayer has been, Lord, help me
- 28:56to die more to myself today. Help me to die to my
- 29:00selfishness, help me to die to my pride so I can fulfill your
- 29:07purposes #2GO ask somewhere, someone where you need to grow.
- 29:19What if we all went to the people closest to us in our
- 29:22community and we asked him, where do you think I'm stuck?
- 29:29I'll tell you what it looked like for me.
- 29:33I remember a while back going to Pastor Daniel and asking him,
- 29:36where do you see I need the most growth in my life?
- 29:39And boy did he tell me. It was a long list.
- 29:46He just keeps adding to it. I found out the only way that I
- 29:51grow is having people around me who are honest with me, holding
- 29:55me accountable. I mean, I was, I was putting
- 29:59this message together and I was talking to Dave about it.
- 30:01Pastor Dave. He was like, you're still not
- 30:03drinking. No, that's a good thing.
- 30:06Ask me. I need that in my life.
- 30:10So I challenge you to do something harder than you've
- 30:13ever done. Go to someone who cares about
- 30:16you and ask them where do you think I'm stuck?
- 30:22So will you commit to these two things this week #1 pray for
- 30:27Jesus purposes, not your own. 5 minutes daily.
- 30:32What if you stop praying about your week, your health, your
- 30:34money, your calendar? What if you started praying for
- 30:37lost people, Kingdom, work, and for the things that matter
- 30:41beyond your comfort? Ask someone where you need to
- 30:45grow. Go to someone who cares about
- 30:49you and ask them where do you think I'm stuck?
- 30:54What do I need to change? And listen, here's the reality.
- 31:03Some of you are sitting here today.
- 31:05Maybe you're just visiting. You can't grow in Christ because
- 31:11you've never actually met Him. You've been in that car with me,
- 31:17this whole message, not outside the men's home, but at a fork in
- 31:22the road, emotionally, spiritually.
- 31:26You know you want change in your life and today Jesus is knocking
- 31:31at your window and I want to give you the opportunity to know
- 31:36Him. The 2000 years ago God sent his
- 31:41Son Jesus to walk this earth, to live a perfect life, to live the
- 31:47life we couldn't live and die the death that I deserve, that
- 31:51we deserve to pay for our sins. He died the death that we
- 32:05deserve. He died, was buried and rose on
- 32:11the third day, defeating death and sin, giving us assurance
- 32:16that if we put our trust in Him as Lord and Savior that He will
- 32:20give us eternal life and when we walk out of this life we will
- 32:24rise and spend eternity with God.
- 32:30The Bible says that if you declare with your mouth and
- 32:33believe in your heart that Jesus is your Lord, you will be saved.
- 32:46If you are willing to ask for forgiveness and salvation today,
- 32:52I want to give you that chance. Would you bow your heads and
- 32:55close your eyes just quietly or even silently?
- 33:05If you want to ask Jesus into your life, repeat this prayer.
- 33:09Jesus, I know I'm a Sinner and I'm lost on my own.
- 33:15I can't save myself. I know I'm incapable of living
- 33:20perfectly. I want you to save me.
- 33:25I want to be part of your family.
- 33:28I surrender everything to you. I receive your promise of
- 33:33relationship, of adoption as your child, of the forgiveness
- 33:40of sin, of the Holy Spirit and eternal life.
- 33:47Be my Lord. Please, Jesus, if you prayed
- 33:53that prayer for the first time right now, would you be brave
- 33:58and just raise your hand for me to see?
- 34:02Thank you, thank you. Put your hands down in Jesus
- 34:09name, Amen. All right, everybody, if you
- 34:13prayed that prayer today, welcome to the family.
- 34:25Our prayer team is going to be coming up right now and we'd
- 34:28love to pray with you. Maybe today you realize there's
- 34:31something you need to surrender, you need to bury, or maybe
- 34:36there's there's just something heavy you're carrying.
- 34:40Whatever it is, we want to pray with you and if you raise your
- 34:46hand today to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior.
- 34:50We have two tables in the back, one on the left and one on the
- 34:53right. Go to the one at the tables.
- 34:58We have a gift for you. We want to talk with you about
- 35:02what it looks like to follow Jesus and see how we can help
- 35:06you on this beautiful journey. Please stand and move as the
- 35:12Lord leads you.