Latest / REZ CHURCH Podcast / Real Life Only Comes Through Real Loss - February 1, 2026

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Real Life Only Comes Through Real Loss - February 1, 2026 · REZ CHURCH Podcast

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  All right, good morning, Resurrection Church.
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  My name is Richard. I am the high school youth
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  director here at Rez. And what that basically means is
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  God thought I should do high school all over again because I
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  didn't get it right the first time.
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  By 30 years old, I have made a complete mess of my life.
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  I was an alcoholic. I couldn't keep a job.
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  I had two broken families, barely a father to my two kids,
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  no real relationship with my own family because I was a dirtbag.
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  And I was so prideful. I kept doing things my way.
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  Nobody could tell me otherwise. And that pride, it's what
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  brought me to the lowest point of my life.
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  And it's where I finally learned what Jesus meant when He said in
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  John 1224, Truly, I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls to
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  the ground and dies, it remains by itself.
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  But if it dies, it produces much fruit.
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  Join me today in John 12. There's a lot that goes on in
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  here. It's a beautiful chapter and I
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  encourage you to go and read it. Today we're going to look at 3
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  verses. Focus on three verses in John
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  1224 through 26 and these 3 verses.
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  I feel like I've been living them out for the past 10 years
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  and I'm desperately trying to get past verse 26.
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  John 1224 through 26. Truly, I tell you, unless a
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  grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains by
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  itself. But if it dies, it produces much
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  fruit. The one who loves his life will
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  lose it, and the one who hates his life in this world will keep
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  it for eternal life. If anyone serves me, he must
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  follow me. Where I am, there my servant
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  also will be. If anyone serves me, the Father
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  will honor him. Taking a moment and imagine this
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  with me. The disciples have been
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  following Jesus for three years. They've seen the miracles,
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  they've seen the teaching. And out of nowhere, Jesus starts
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  talking about death first, about his own.
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  Jesus is talking about what he's about to do.
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  He's saying I'm willing to give up my life, not protect it, so
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  that many others can be saved and redeemed.
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  But he's also talking about theirs.
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  Death to self, death to self rule.
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  They had to shock them because that's not what they were
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  expecting. And if we're honest, we struggle
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  with that too. We're shocked when Jesus doesn't
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  do what we expect them to do. Because instead of building our
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  lives on Jesus, we want Jesus to help us with the life that we
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  already built for ourselves. And I've done that.
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  I wanted Jesus to help me with the life that I built.
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  Let me show you what living in verses 24 through 26 look like
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  for me and how I've learned the hard way that real life only
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  comes through real loss. If you remember one thing from
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  today, remember real life only comes through real loss.
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  In February 2015, I went out drinking on a Wednesday night,
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  drove home, got arrested, went to jail.
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  The next morning I get out and I had this overwhelming sense that
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  I needed God in my life and I needed to go to church.
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  I didn't know where to go. I didn't grow up in church, but
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  that Sunday I ended up in one. At that point in my life, I was
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  drinking 1/5 of vodka a day. I'd quit for a few a few days,
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  then fall back. I quit for a week and then drink
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  again. But no matter how much I failed,
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  I kept going to church. Two months later, April 5th,
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  2015, Easter Sunday, I was sitting in church watching a
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  live skit and the man was having a conversation with God and God
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  was telling him follow me, leave it all behind and just follow
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  me. And the man was asking God, if I
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  follow you, if I leave all this behind, what am I going to be?
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  What will people think? What will people say?
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  And he asks again, what will I be?
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  And God said, you'll be whatever I called you to be.
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  And that hit me hard because I was asking God the same thing,
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  because I was the party guy, the bar guy, the guy that chased
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  money and women. I was asking God, if I walk away
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  from all this, what will I be? And I felt, God, tell me you'll
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  be whatever I've called you to be.
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  So I got up, did the altar call, and I gave my life to Jesus.
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  I'd love to tell you that everything changed overnight,
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  but it didn't. I was still building my life on
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  myself and I stayed sober for six months.
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  And then my pride crept back in. I was in a bad relationship and
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  I grew angry at God because I thought He was supposed to
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  improve my life and he didn't. And that anger, it pushed me
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  right back out. One night I went back drinking.
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  I got kicked out. The next day, I had nowhere to
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  go. I texted my pastor and he got a
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  bed ready for me at his men's home.
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  Here I am, 30 years old, sitting in my car outside of this men's
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  home, gripping the wheel, wrestling with myself inside and
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  my pride wondering how did I end up here breaking a little inside
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  every second because my thoughts are telling me I'm better than
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  this. I was at a fork in the road
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  thinking I don't need this, I can hustle up some money, I'll
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  get my own place. I'll be back at the bars this
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  weekend. Then I heard a knock at the
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  window. It was a guy from the men's home
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  and recognized me from church. I get out of the car and he
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  says, what are you doing here, bro?
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  All I could say is I don't know. And I broke, and he says it's
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  going to be all right, bro, we got you.
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  I remember that first night in the men's home was the lowest
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  point of my life. I remember being in a room full
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  of men in a dorm, but I felt alone in a dark place that I
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  wasn't going to get myself out of.
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  Looking back now, that was my burial.
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  Everything I trusted, my comfort, stability, my pride, my
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  control was gone. I stayed there for two months.
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  Every morning they would get up and pray at 5:00 AM.
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  And this is how deep my pride goes.
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  I'm in there with men from 18 to 65 years old, some getting out
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  of prison, some kicking addiction, some coming off the
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  streets from being homeless. And in my head I go, you know
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  what? I'm going to get up with these
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  guys and I'm going to pray and read my Bible.
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  And man, they need a lot of help.
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  I'm going to show them. But I'd get up every morning.
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  I'd go downstairs and pray with them at 5:00 AM.
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  And while I was there for that two months, I read the entire
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  New Testament and I found Jesus in the Scriptures.
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  It was no longer about what others had to say about him.
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  I meant him for myself. Two weeks after leaving the
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  men's home during worship, the pastor was saying many men will
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  choose to follow Jesus, but many men won't choose to suffer for
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  him. And I don't know why I said it.
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  I didn't plan on it, but I remember raising my hands and
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  saying Lord I love you, thank you for saving me.
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  And I said I will follow you, take everything from me and I
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  will suffer for you. I'll serve you 7 life sentences.
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  And I heard get on your knees. My stomach started turning, my
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  mouth started watering. I had goosebumps from the bottom
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  of my feet to the top of my head.
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  And I'm like, I don't know what's happening.
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  I said I love you Lord, I'll serve you.
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  I'll suffer before you say get on your knees.
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  I was resisting because I was so worried about the people around
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  me that would see me. And he said get on your knees.
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  And I stepped out of the row. My knees buckled and I hit the
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  ground and I wept and I wept and I wept.
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  I realize now what was dying on that floor was me being worried
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  about what other people would think of me.
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  Because when I stood up off that floor, it was the first time
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  ever that I felt the love of God in my life.
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  And I remember looking around that church at everybody, and I
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  thought, I love everyone. I was transformed, I was
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  different, I was made new. And that's what it says in 2nd
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  Corinthians 517. Therefore, if anyone is in
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  Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away and see
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  the new has come. My life wasn't perfect after
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  that, but I was a new person beginning to build my life on
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  Jesus and not myself. Death came first and then real
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  life. It was the beginning of me
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  learning that real life only comes through real loss.
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  Now, you don't have to believe the Bible to know this is true.
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  Real change always cost you something.
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  But here's the problem. Many people will go to the
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  cross, but they never get on the cross.
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  They admire it, they study it, they sing about it, they even
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  cry at the foot of it. But Jesus doesn't call us to
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  visit the cross, He calls us to die on it.
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  That's why Jesus says in Mark 834, if anybody wants to follow
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  after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross and follow me.
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  When Jesus talks about taking up your cross, he's not using a
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  metaphor. In the Roman world, the cross
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  was a death sentence. A condemned person carried it
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  through the streets as a sign of shame and finality.
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  When you saw someone carrying a cross out of the city, you knew
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  one thing. That person wasn't coming back.
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  So take up your cross means total surrender, dying to your
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  old life, to your rights, your control, and declaring that your
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  life is no longer your own. And Jesus says when we do that,
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  we don't lose life, we find it. He's calling us to die to self
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  so we can finally be free. But free from what?
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  Jesus offers three specific types of freedom in his words
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  today. Freedom from sin, freedom from
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  death, and freedom from self. Let's look at each of them.
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  Freedom from sin. Freedom from sin isn't just
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  forgiveness of what we've done, it's freedom from what's been
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  holding you. Sin isn't only about mistakes,
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  it's about being stuck. Patterns you keep falling into,
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  cravings that feel stronger than your will.
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  Identities that you start believing just who you are.
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  When Jesus calls us to die with him, he's saying the old life
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  doesn't get to run things anymore.
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  When something is buried, it loses its authority.
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  It may still pull at you, but it no longer owns you.
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  Burial matters because what goes into the ground doesn't come
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  back in charge. A new life comes out, not
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  perfect, but free. Free to say no, Free to choose
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  differently, Free to stop living as the person you used to be.
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  Jesus doesn't just forgive sinners.
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  He makes new people after the men's home.
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  Jesus broke that cycle of that off of my life.
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  I stayed sober for six years. Then one day I chose to drink
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  again. I chose to go back to something
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  Jesus had already broken off of my life.
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  Over time, my wife became concerned about how often and
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  how much I was drinking. If I'm honest, the Holy Spirit
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  would remind me every time I took a drink.
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  This isn't who you're called to be.
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  But my pride and my selfishness would make excuses and justify
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  it. I kept telling myself I didn't
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  have a problem because I wasn't living like I used to.
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  The truth is, if my wife had a problem with my drinking, that
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  meant I had a problem and I needed to face it head on.
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  I remember praying to God Sin, you broke this off of my life
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  before. Do it again, do it again God.
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  And He did because I couldn't. And I'm sober again today.
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  Here's what I've learned. Self denial isn't a one time
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  moment. It's a way of life.
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  That's why Christians fast to set aside physical needs
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  temporarily, to createspace, to draw closer to God, to seek
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  guidance, and to show dependence on God.
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  Fasting is denying yourself not just from food, but from
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  anything that competes with our pursuit of Jesus.
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  Sometimes it's for days, sometimes it's for seasons.
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  I submit to you today that life is a fast, and if fasting from
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  alcohol from the rest of my life helps me be a better follower of
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  Jesus, to be a better husband, a better father, a better friend,
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  then I'll gladly fast from alcohol for the rest of my life
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  so I can be a better follower of Jesus.
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  Jesus promises freedom, man. He delivers it.
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  What is God asking you today to deny yourself of?
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  What has he been asking you to let go?
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  Maybe it's alcohol. Maybe it's anger and addiction,
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  old habits, pornography. Maybe it's the constant noise
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  from podcasts and news and social media.
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  Or maybe you're like me In past seasons of my life, I was more
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  passionate about pursuing a political party than pursuing
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  Jesus. Or maybe you're like me right
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  now and you struggle with pride like I do.
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  Pride is like bad breath. Everyone else knows you have it
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  but you. And anytime I start thinking I
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  have it all together, my family is there to gently remind me
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  otherwise. And underneath all that sin,
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  habits, pride, there's a deeper fear.
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  Jesus wants to set us free from freedom from death.
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  Freedom from death isn't just about dying someday.
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  It's freedom from the fear that shapes how you live right now.
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  Because Jesus rose from the dead, death isn't the end
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  anymore. And Jesus can ask us to die to
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  ourselves because he's already gone there and defeated it.
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  When that truth sinks in, fear starts to loosen his grip.
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  Our obsession with comfort, control, security, and approval
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  usually comes from being afraid of losing this life.
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  We cling to. We cling to.
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  It's like, like, like it's all we have.
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  But Jesus says that kind of freedom, that kind of living
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  isn't freedom, It's slavery. The resurrection changes
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  everything. Death becomes a doorway, not a
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  dead end. I used to live terrified of
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  losing everything. The men's home was supposed to
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  be the worst thing that ever happened to me.
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  But standing on the other side of it, I realized that that
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  wasn't the end. It was the door.
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  Loss isn't final. Surrender isn't wasted, and
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  Jesus isn't asking us to die to take life from us.
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  He's asking us to let go so we can live a life that matters #3
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  freedom from self. Freedom from self is where the
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  truth gets worked out in everyday life.
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  A lot of what exhausts us isn't obvious sin.
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  It's the constant pressure to protect ourselves, to prove
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  ourselves, and to hold together the life we built.
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  Living like everything depends on us.
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  That's why Jesus says deny yourself, take up your cross,
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  follow me. He's not trying to make life
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  harder, He's trying to make life lighter.
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  Because carrying yourself at the center and it's exhausting.
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  When S is in charge, you're always chasing approval, always
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  needing control, always building your life around comfort and
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  success. And that kind of living will
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  drain you. But when S stops being the
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  center, freedom begins. You're no longer living to
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  preserve your life. You start to live a life that
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  matters. That's why Jesus says in John
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  1224, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies,
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  it remains alone. But if it dies, it produces much
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  fruit. This is how the Kingdom works.
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  You lose to multiply. A seat on the surface is
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  useless. No life can come from it.
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  It has to be buried and burial. It looks like loss, but it's
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  where life actually begins. As long as you're protecting
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  your image, clinging to control, guarding your comfort, life is
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  all about you. But when S dies, freedom shows
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  up. And then comes fruit.
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  Not a little fruit, much fruit. A surrendered life doesn't just
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  change you, it multiplies through you.
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  God's Kingdom doesn't grow through holding on, it grows
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  through letting go. And I had to learn that the hard
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  way in John 1226. Jesus goes on to say if anyone
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  serves me, he must follow me. Where I am, there my servant
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  also will be. If anyone serves me, the Father
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  will honor him. That verse focus forced me to
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  confront something in my own life.
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  I realized I had a picture of serving God that looked
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  impressive for me, but wasn't actually about following Jesus.
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  I used to believe that God would be glorified by me becoming this
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  world traveling preacher, evangelist that's serving him
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  and going everywhere, being involved in everything and never
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  being home. I thought that was fruit, but I
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  was pursuing a calling rather than pursuing Jesus.
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  I was forced. I was focused on ministry.
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  I was so focused on ministry that I became blind to my first
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  ministry, my wife and my family. My vision had to die so that I
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  can see God's vision for my life.
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  And now I understand that God will receive the most glory from
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  my life when I take my last breath.
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  And people say he loved God. He loved his wife and his kids,
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  and he loved people. And because I'm following the
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  King, I trust that God will honor my life in order to live a
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  life that truly matters. There will be lost.
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  That's unavoidable. But the Gospel tells us
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  something the world never will. Where there is loss, there is
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  also gain. Before Christ, the apostle Paul
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  had status, education, influence, a future.
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  That all changed after he met Jesus.
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  That's why Paul can say without hesitation in Philippians 3.
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  Whatever gain I had, I count it as loss for the sake of Christ.
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  Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing
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  worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.
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  Paul is saying, I lost what I thought mattered, and I gained
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  what actually does. The seed falls, the old life
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  dies, and what looks like loss becomes gain because Christ is
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  better. And here's the beautiful part
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  about the Kingdom. Your surrender doesn't just
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  change you, it multiplies through you.
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  That man who knocked on my window, my car window outside
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  the men's home, he was fruit from someone else's burial.
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  Someone else had to die to themselves to create that
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  ministry, and now I get to be the fruit for others by
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  marriage. My kids, this church you're
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  sitting here today, that's how the Kingdom grows.
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  Not through self preservation, but through surrender.
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  One seed falls, it dies, and from that death comes an entire
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  harvest. So the question is, what does
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  this actually look like for us? If you're a follower of Jesus, I
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  want to challenge you with two practical ways to die to
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  yourself this week #1 prayer. Pray a certain way.
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  What if your prayers became radically different?
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  What have you committed to pray? Not for your health, your money,
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  your week, your calendar, your trips or expectations?
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  What if the language of your prayer changed completely?
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  Instead of praying about your schedule, your comfort, your
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  vacation time, what if you started praying about what Jesus
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  cares about? Lost people in this city?
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  Kingdom purposes, things that actually matter for eternity.
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  What would it look like if you committed to praying like this 5
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  minutes every day this week? How do you need to change your
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  prayers? What do you need to bury or let
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  go in your prayers? Because it's not pointing
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  towards Jesus and it's pointing towards you.
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  The past couple of weeks, my prayer has been, Lord, help me
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  to die more to myself today. Help me to die to my
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  selfishness, help me to die to my pride so I can fulfill your
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  purposes #2GO ask somewhere, someone where you need to grow.
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  What if we all went to the people closest to us in our
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  community and we asked him, where do you think I'm stuck?
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  I'll tell you what it looked like for me.
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  I remember a while back going to Pastor Daniel and asking him,
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  where do you see I need the most growth in my life?
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  And boy did he tell me. It was a long list.
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  He just keeps adding to it. I found out the only way that I
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  grow is having people around me who are honest with me, holding
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  me accountable. I mean, I was, I was putting
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  this message together and I was talking to Dave about it.
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  Pastor Dave. He was like, you're still not
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  drinking. No, that's a good thing.
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  Ask me. I need that in my life.
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  So I challenge you to do something harder than you've
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  ever done. Go to someone who cares about
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  you and ask them where do you think I'm stuck?
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  So will you commit to these two things this week #1 pray for
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  Jesus purposes, not your own. 5 minutes daily.
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  What if you stop praying about your week, your health, your
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  money, your calendar? What if you started praying for
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  lost people, Kingdom, work, and for the things that matter
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  beyond your comfort? Ask someone where you need to
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  grow. Go to someone who cares about
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  you and ask them where do you think I'm stuck?
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  What do I need to change? And listen, here's the reality.
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  Some of you are sitting here today.
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  Maybe you're just visiting. You can't grow in Christ because
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  you've never actually met Him. You've been in that car with me,
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  this whole message, not outside the men's home, but at a fork in
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  the road, emotionally, spiritually.
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  You know you want change in your life and today Jesus is knocking
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  at your window and I want to give you the opportunity to know
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  Him. The 2000 years ago God sent his
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  Son Jesus to walk this earth, to live a perfect life, to live the
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  life we couldn't live and die the death that I deserve, that
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  we deserve to pay for our sins. He died the death that we
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  deserve. He died, was buried and rose on
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  the third day, defeating death and sin, giving us assurance
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  that if we put our trust in Him as Lord and Savior that He will
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  give us eternal life and when we walk out of this life we will
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  rise and spend eternity with God.
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  The Bible says that if you declare with your mouth and
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  believe in your heart that Jesus is your Lord, you will be saved.
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  If you are willing to ask for forgiveness and salvation today,
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  I want to give you that chance. Would you bow your heads and
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  close your eyes just quietly or even silently?
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  If you want to ask Jesus into your life, repeat this prayer.
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  Jesus, I know I'm a Sinner and I'm lost on my own.
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  I can't save myself. I know I'm incapable of living
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  perfectly. I want you to save me.
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  I want to be part of your family.
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  I surrender everything to you. I receive your promise of
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  relationship, of adoption as your child, of the forgiveness
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  of sin, of the Holy Spirit and eternal life.
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  Be my Lord. Please, Jesus, if you prayed
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  that prayer for the first time right now, would you be brave
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  and just raise your hand for me to see?
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  Thank you, thank you. Put your hands down in Jesus
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  name, Amen. All right, everybody, if you
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  prayed that prayer today, welcome to the family.
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  Our prayer team is going to be coming up right now and we'd
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  love to pray with you. Maybe today you realize there's
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  something you need to surrender, you need to bury, or maybe
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  there's there's just something heavy you're carrying.
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  Whatever it is, we want to pray with you and if you raise your
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  hand today to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior.
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  We have two tables in the back, one on the left and one on the
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  right. Go to the one at the tables.
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  We have a gift for you. We want to talk with you about
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  what it looks like to follow Jesus and see how we can help
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  you on this beautiful journey. Please stand and move as the
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  Lord leads you.