Latest / Dope Discussion With Normthegreat1 🔥 / Breaking the Silence: Men's Mental Health Matters
Transcript
- Mr Normthegreat1: Welcome to Dope Discussions, where faith isn't quiet and truth isn't comfortable. We're having the conversations most people avoid about purpose, pain, leadership, relationships, identity, and the real walk with God. No pretending, no performance, no watered-down gospel, just raw growth, real convictions, and kingdom conversations. And kingdom conversations that challenge you to become who God called you to be. And now here's your host, Norm the Great One. Yo, what up, what up, what out, what up, man? You already know who it is. It's the great one. We back in the building. Yes, Lord, we back in the building. Another day, another opportunity. You know that's how we start every show by giving thanks to the Most High God for all his many blessings that he stores upon us, man. And one of the biggest blessings of them all, man. Just to be back behind the mic one more time, another Wednesday. Hope y'all have been taking care of yourself out there. Hope y'all had a good weekend. Hope you had a good week so far. You know, we do. We're here to get you over the hump, man, you know, and get you to the weekend, you know? That's what we do, man. You know, ⁓ and this show kinda like a special show, man, because I think like, I'm just saying not think. I know June is like men's mental health month, but you don't hear nobody talk about it like that. You know what I'm saying? Like, I think you might hear see some, not here, but you might see some flyers or stuff here and there, but you don't really hear nobody talk about it. Just like Father's Day around the corner, you know, we know that's a thing in itself that if you blink it'll go by so fast. So I don't understand what the disconnect is, but you know what we gonna do? We're gonna peel an onion back and we're gonna talk about it today, man. Yes indeed, we gon' get to it. But yeah, man, ⁓ I had a good weekend, you know. ⁓ ain't did too much once again. Just chill out for the most part. Got some school work done, you know, the weather was pretty good, man. ⁓ week was good so far. Can't complain, man. You know Just trying to get this school stuff wrapped up, man, and get everything done, man. You know, like I said, I hope y'all had a great weekend and a great week so far. We're gonna get you over the hump. That's what we're doing. We're gonna get this show started, man. We're gonna start talking about men's mental health. Oftentimes I think that's one of the things that get overlooked because even as a boy, you always frame to be strong, to be tough. Boys don't cry, suck it up. I mean, just All the things I can remember as a young boy coming up in the country, man. You know, you always have people say, you know, if you fall down, get up. You know, you gotta be tough. Don't cry. Boys don't cry. And you know, that thing stick with people as they grow up until men and they don't cry. And men don't know how to express themselves. And when men don't express themselves and that thing stay caught up in you, it's only gonna come out two ways. He's gonna hurt himself or he can help hurt people around him because. I tell people all the time, when you have something that's bogged up in you, like if somebody said something you didn't like, my mom always taught me you could pull them to the side and be like, yo, what did that mean? You know what I'm saying? One thing I can always say, man, I growing up I had good parents, man. We had conversation. My dad wasn't too much of a talker like that. He was a good provider. He would have conversation about certain things, but my mom really would take it there and have them conversations. So like I seen A thing like with the older guys, I noticed that parents raise their kids for the time that's down instead of evolving with the times. Like I seen my pops, like I don't think my pops said I love you, like a couple times, maybe. You know what I'm saying? And regardless if you're a boy, a young boy or a little girl, you know what I'm saying? You want to hear that, you know, because it's something about as a young boy that has an active father in his life and have a relationship with his father. You know, mama gonna praise you regardless. But if your daddy says you did a good job or you're good to go, that's a different never. Even if your daddy nodded his head at you, man. I remember when I was younger playing basketball, man, and we won the championship. No, I I'm sorry. We didn't win that year. We lost that year and we lost by one point a missed bucket. And my dad told me out the gym, man. You know what I'm saying? And that was one of the greatest moments. Even though we lost, and I think the next year we came back and we won the championship, man. That was like And I also look at it like little memories and things like that, from father to son and spending that time and in that moment. I don't know what it is about the older guys and fathers and growing up in whatever time they grew up in. Excuse me, vulnerability is a big thing, a big thing and a big hurdle. I noticed that is like you'll see some of the older guys that always walk around so angry. And I talk to people about that all the time. Like, why some of the older guys just always seem angry all the time, you know what I'm saying? And I don't understand that. You know what I'm saying? Like it's like they can't be nice, you know what I'm saying? Like, or not saying nice like you'll push over or let people treat you all type of way, but just be kind, you know what I'm saying? Like it's always like a you get like a temporary glimpse of something. And if it seems like it's too much or they seem like it's weak, they click that button and they back to just being nasty. And you just be like, what is the issue? You know what I'm saying? But in mental health And for men's mental health, like one in every five men experience some form of mental health. You know what I'm saying? Men are more what more likely, four times more likely than women to commit suicide. And at the end of the day, because most men feel that they don't have a safe place where they can come in and have a conversation or come in and take the armor and the mask and the veil off and be who they really are. And I think society and everybody don't do no justice with it because a man is always expected to do, do, do, do, go, go, go, push limits. I mean, you can go on any site, anywhere, you can look on any blogs, anywhere you're always seeing even women now. I'm talking about what men should be. A men should do this, or men should do that. But at the end of the day, I'm here to tell you, brothers, to blow the whistle on that. It's okay to take a break. It's okay to say, I'm not okay. It's okay to say I'm struggling with something. It's okay. That don't make you less than a man. That'll make you a pushover. That'll make you a simp. That don't make you weak or nothing. That makes you a human being. You know, I struggle with that at one point in my life. You know, I used to always be at that point where nothing don't bother me. I don't give a D F this, F that, whatever, whatever, whatever. But then I notice something. I hear myself one day talking and saying that. And I was like, yo. I don't even like how that sounds, you know what I'm saying? I don't care for that. Then I start checking myself with that. And then one thing I notice about people and their feelings and things like that, most people don't be honest about something. And it can be simple. If something made you feel some type of way, you have that right to say that. Men, women, I don't care who you are, you have a right to speak on that and say, hey man, I didn't like how that how you did that or how you handled me. That made me feel a type of way. And that should be respected, or both, matter of fact, because at the end of that came to you in love. But we have to get to that place as men and brothers to where we can have conversation. It's okay to say certain things and let things go before we get to a place where we're about to explode. It will kill you, man. It will kill you. And then oftentimes a lot of men get with women and got wives and girlfriends or whatever, and they express themselves and express some of the deep traumas or things that happen to them. And in the mix of a heated argument or whatever, she's gonna throw it back in his face. And she goes back off and cut him right down to his knees and plain dirty and hit him under the belt. She taught him that he can't trust her. When a man says he can't trust a woman, it's different when a woman says she can't trust a man. Most times, nine times out of ten, he's saying, I can't open up to her, I can't talk to her, I can't be vulnerable with her. And that's what that means for the most part. Because at the end of the day, you walking around axing and trying to find people that have a soft, soft place for you for the fence. Because a lot of people hurting and got issues across the board. But right now we're gonna stick with the men. You subconsciously keep hurting. You keep hurting people around you and you keep hurting yourself, but you don't even you don't even know that you're doing that and you're in that cycle because you keep going on and on and on. It's so normal and familiar to you. But like I said, we have to Get to a place as men where we checking on each other, where we checking and it'll have to be every day, man. I love you, man. Just checking to see if you're good. How's everything, man? You need anything, whatever the case may be. But that's not the case. That's not the case at all. And I'm not understanding why. Because one thing I noticed, people can have a lot of people to hang around them when they're drinking, smoking, going through crazy things or whatever. But when it's time to sit down. And have a serious conversation and tell somebody about your mental health or something, that's where the line starts to erk. Nah, nah, nah, nah, I'm good, I'm good. And you can see some people, man, they got it in their face like they about to crack, and they will still tell you they okay. I mean, they don't train yourself enough to say they're okay. They train themselves enough to tell you that I'm okay. And then you sit back and you look at it like, bro, I can see you in your face that you're not okay. I can see it. So what's the point? Tell me what's wrong. But oftentimes we are ready to train ourselves that nothing we say gonna matter, nobody cares, or none of that above, and that's what we believe. Cause we don't tell ourselves that enough. We start to believe it. And at the end of the day, we have to get past that, man. My hope and prayer is that for every man to find the peace that they've been looking for. And peace may look different for everybody. But the peace that passes all understanding comes from God. And the peace that you're trying to gain to and looking forward to is have to you have to be uncomfortable. You have to go back and dig up some things that you didn't want to come back and talk about. But you have to do that to get the ultimate goal of finding peace and moving forward. And you have to do that, man. You have to. I don't care who you are, but that's something that you have to do as a man. No lao society. To give you this bogus idea of what a man looked like or what a man should do. Because you haven't noticed everybody can tell you what a real man is. And and and and every time you hear somebody say it, the goalpost move. And you hear a woman or somebody saying on the internet, what a real man, a real man would do this, a real man would do it. You never even had a real man, never seen a real man, never been a real man, but you can tell somebody what a real man is. My question is, how long you been one? How long you been with? One thing I noticed, black men often face pressures like expecting to always be strong and never show vulnerable, vulnerability, stress from financial, family, and community responsibility, experience with discrimination and racial trauma, sigma around seeking counseling or emotional support. And them some of the some of the ⁓ pressures that the black men face. And I'm not saying it's just for black men, but for men in general. But right now, we're talking about the black man and and the mental health. But right now, these are things that black man is up under with the pressure, especially the expectation to always be strong and never show vulnerability. That right there in itself takes a lot of men out. Takes a lot of men out right there. And stress from financial, family, and community responsibility. Being a man ain't easy. Not taking no credit from a woman, but being a man is not easy. When you have to be the breadwinner for your family, community, you got responsibility. Well, this person calling you need that. This person calling need that. This person need that. This person needs a couch move. This person need this, that, and the third. And you try to be there for everybody, but you're getting pulled this way. But when you be there for everybody, you forgot to show up for the one person, yourself. Yourself. And once you start to do that, you start to neglect yourself. You neglect your mental health, your well being, your health in general. Now you stressed out, you probably on pressure pills, probably got other issues going on because of society normal, what they figure and deem that a man should be. Now, because of those factors, many black men struggle in silence with depression, anxiety, grief, anger, or loneliness. You know, I can speak on grief because I remember my father, God bless his soul, when my father Had ⁓ a a brother and a sister. He my father was the middle child, and I remember one time growing up, man, like death came like this, like that, like that. I think it was like an aunt, then it was like his mom's, and then it was like his sister, and then it was another aunt, then it was his brother, then it was my mom, his wife, then it was his brother. And I mean, I just watched my pops just buried, very, very family, very family. And moms and my pops been together since middle school. And after all that, I remember the guy that I grew up with and the house with. But as the time goes on and the death and burying people, I don't think my father understood how to grief, grieve. And I think a lot of people don't know. I never saw my father shed a tear or break down or did anything. So I truly believe that he held all that thing, all them stuff in, and it affected his health. Because after his brother's death and I and and my mom death and his brother's death, I ca I saw the decline in him. I think when my mom died and his brother died and all the people died, piece of him died with them. Like you know what I'm saying? He was never really the same. I don't think he ever recovered from that. And you start to see the downward spiral a little bit here and there, piece by piece. And I think when my mom and his brother died, I think that some of the biggest pieces were taken from him, because I think at that point It was more like whatever, you know? Because he buried almost everybody his family on on the side on that side, you know? And he lost his wife that he'd been together with since middle school. And once you start to l lose people at that magnitude that you spend years and decades with, you can see the decline in them. And it's like the man that you knew growing up, that's your hero, your pops, he's a fraction of himself. And then after that, not so long, his health started fading. And with the diabetes and all type of other things he had going on, it was a lot. And not not not even just to that magnitude. It wasn't even a go figure that he had congestive heart failure because he probably had a heartbroke because of all the issues and the people that he buried. Like, like I said, I don't think in our community, people know how to grief well or do good with death and losses and bad times. I just don't think that we're taught properly how to go through that, that it's okay to grieve. It's okay to cry. You know what I'm saying? I just don't think that that's one of the things that's high on our list and understand and comprehend on how to go through that. Because, you know, we just known to keep going, you know, keep pushing and take your little time off from work and, you know, do what you gotta do and whatever the case may be. And then you're back at work and acting like nothing happened. Now, let me tell you for somebody that lost My mom at an early age and both of my parents have left here. That ain't an easy task, man. That ain't an easy task. For me personally, with me and my faith, the only way I see you getting through it, you gotta have that relationship with God, man. You gotta have a relationship with God because there's no way, man, that thing will take you down, man. You have to have your faith because that right then, in a time, that's when your faith will be tested. You will be tested. I'm telling you, man. And then Here's one of here's some signs when someone is struggling, like withdrawal from family and friends, increased anger and irritability, difficulty sleeping, loss of motivation, using alcohol, drugs, and other unhealthy coping methods, feeling hopeless or numb, right then and there. See them signs of people that's going through with mentor. They mentor ain't right, or they got issues going on. They might tell you, I'm fine, I'm fine. But you can see them withdrawing. You know, when you see them withdrawing, they like hand it to themselves. They stand off as you know. You know, they used to also do the life of the party or they used to come around and now it's like, nah, I'm all right, man. They isolating themselves. They isolating themselves. And they rather spend more time by themselves because I can imagine that they're saying that it don't matter. Nobody really understands me, no way. So I'm all I got. Nobody else care. Nobody else see the problem. And once you start to feed yourself. Thoughts and stuff like that, the devil will amplify them thoughts in your head 10 times more. And now you're sitting there believing it because you had these thoughts and the devil gonna amplify it 10 times, 100 times. Now you're starting to really believe your own thoughts. And that's where the issue comes at. The issue is gonna come in at that point because you ready, open the door. And the next one, like I just said, increase anger and irritability. Not everything irritates you. You know, when you feel in some type of way, you're angry, everything irritates you. The door can open, the phone can ring, everything in everything irritates you. I don't even know why the phone ringing. I don't even know why the light on, you know? So you just going at any and everything because you're so irritated, but the irritation is causing from something deeper. You know, we always look at the surface level and you'd be like, ⁓ this is it just always ain't. Nah, it's a deeper level. It's a deeper level. And one thing I always say that people will charge you and come at you. For things ⁓ that they didn't explain to you. Like somebody can say, somebody would say, ⁓ well, you didn't even check on me last week or whatever. And they'd be like, I didn't even know you had nothing going on last week. Yeah, I had a rough week. Well, how would somebody know you had a rough week if you didn't open your mouth and speak? No, don't never put nothing at all. Somebody should know. No, open your mouth and speak. We are adults. Speak. We're grown. Everybody got mouth for everything but the right thing. Speak. And I'm just like over that because all that you should know me now. I know you and you should know you two enough to open your mouth and speak. Difficult sleeping and loss of motivation. Right then and there, if you know a person that's always on the go, ready to get it, get it done, but they just dragging now. Just like they can't even, they just want to lay around the bed. They just slouching around and just like, yeah, man, you know. If it's God will, you know, it is what it is, man. You know, I'll be all right. Don't worry about me. It's just like they that decline, you know what I'm saying? And not that person you used to know. That person you used to know used to be live, energetic, got energy through the roof, always on the go, laughing, having a good time. But you see them round just moping, just like Billy, like it is what it is. That's a sign. That's a sign. Alcohol. Alcohol, drugs, and other unhealthy coping methods. When you see them boy drinking more. Drugs, trying new things, doing anything. They're trying to cope and they're trying to find coping methods that's not gonna work. That's only temporary thrills. Temporary things just gonna give you temporary results for that moment. Because one thing about drugs, if you smoke the if you're getting high when you come back down, the issues gonna be there. And it depends on what you did when you was high. The issues probably amplified more because you probably got yourself in more trouble and more stuff. Because they know telling what you did when you was high. So at the end of the day, you got high to get away from the reality. Yeah, you was cool for a minute when you was up there high and just no care in the world just floating. But guess what? The high gotta come down. And when that high comes down, you're gonna be right back in the same spot with the same issues that you try to run away from. So I guess you have to go back and get some more drugs or whatever you do, because it's not gonna go away until you face it. Is not gonna go away until you face it. And you have to sometimes in life, man, you have to stand up to things, man. Just stand up to it. It is what it is. It is what it is. But let me tell you something, man. Mental strength is not pretending everything is okay. Real strength can be talking honestly about pain, asking for help when needed, praying and seeking spiritual guidance, building healthy friendships and accountability, seeking professional counseling. Counseling when needed. Absolutely, because you have to talk about it honestly. That's what I always say. Men, talk honestly about that pain. It's okay. I don't care what nobody says. You ain't weak. You ain't weak that something hurts you or something don't sit right with you. It's okay to speak on it. Ask for help. I'm the first person to tell you if I don't know something, I don't understand it, I'm gonna ask questions. If I don't know, if you can laugh at me or clown me. For not knowing, then kudos to you because baby, I don't know, and you can't make me feel ashamed for not knowing. I'm all right. I'm all right. You cannot shame me for saying I need help, but I don't understand this, I don't know. Well, if that's a joke, then I guess we'll be laughing because I don't know. And I'm okay with that. And I'm I'm content with that. Praying and seeking spiritual guide, that's one of the biggest ones, right there, guys. I always said a man has to be a praying man. You got to have a relationship with God, whatever you believe in how every word. I believe in God of the Bible, because in me if as for me and my house, we're gonna serve the Lord. Now, I can't speak for every man, but what I will tell you, you got to have a prayer life. You have to. You have to pray, you have to fast, you have to sit there and listen to that voice. You have to. That's the only way you're gonna make it out of here. That's the only way. In my humble opinion. That's the only relationship that trumps our relationship because you got to have that. God said in his word, he'll never leave you nor forsake you. He'll be with you even to the end of the world. How many other persons ever tell you that before? How many other persons tell you they got you and left you hanging like a clothesline? Or how much other persons tell you they got you and change up on you just like that? How many times somebody said they got you and just left you hanging like it was nothing? I don't understand. You know, oftentimes we ⁓ get to this place where we feel like, ⁓ we don't need nobody. We got it by ourselves. Let me tell you something. I had that mentality. I guess it comes from being an only child for a long time, but let me tell you something. Yeah, you can do a lot by yourself, but you can get a lot more done with a strong team. You have to find people that you trust. You have to find people that you align with, and you have to ask God to send you some people in your life that's for you. And you pray and you act, tell God, ask God to remove any and anything or anybody that's in your life that's not for you and not going to die where you're going, and that's not that's hindering you from the plans that God has for your life. You ask God to remove them people and bring them with people that's purpose driven and that's gonna help you get to the next level that you can have that conversation with, you can feel safe with, you can trust in, you can believe in. That's what you pray to God for. That's why that relations relationship, excuse me. Is imperative that you have that. And you have to seek professional counseling when that's there. It's okay. Most people have a job that got insurance that most therapists and counselor accept. Use your insurance. Book you some sessions. Go till you fill it out and find the right one that fits you. And you get there and you do the work to get better. There's nothing wrong about it. You're not crazy. There's nothing wrong with you. You just got some things that you need to deal with. Cause sometime a lot of p sometimes I hear people say, I ain't going to therapy, I ain't crazy, ain't nothing wrong with me. Going to therapy don't mean that you're crazy. Not by a long shot. I hear people say that I'm not going down there. I'm not crazy. Ain't nothing wrong with me. Why would I go down there? I'm not doing that. Ain't nothing wrong with me. That's for people that are that's crazy or something. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. That's for people that need to get things done and try to find a better way and better methods to deal with things. To express themselves without being angry and without blowing a fuse or ready to throw a table or attack somebody or bleed on other people that didn't cut you. I remember I was talking to this female friend of mine, and she had a son. She probably gonna listen to this and call me as soon as she hears this. I know we had a we had we got into it over this a little bit. Love you love you, love ya, sis, love ya. It's all good. I know you're gonna chew my head off when you hear that. Yeah, I'm talking about you. And she had two boys and You know, and she was talking about they gonna play football cause they gotta be tough. But the kid didn't want to play football. But my thing is, well, and she went on and on. I was like, listen to yourself. But these my kids, okay, you're right. But we gotta tell her how you gonna make a kid play football that don't wanna play football that say he gotta be tough. When has you been a man? How long you been a man? And in and the toughness in your eye is somebody to play football. If you ask the average person to play football, they're scared as hell out there every time they get on their field. That's why so many people fight. I got a son that plays football. It ain't about being tough all the time. It's about being smart. And better yet, you have to want to be out there. This kid clearly don't want to be out there. Oftentimes you see parents throwing their sons out there. ⁓ you gotta be tougher, you gotta be a boy. Go do XYZ. Let me tell you something: all that pressure that you're putting on them young boys. Yeah, I get it. As a man, you sure gotta get out there and learn some things, get your hand dirty, learn how to change a tire, learn how to tie a tie, do the basic stuff. But when it comes to stuff like, ⁓ you gotta play football to be tough and all that, I I don't I don't I don't agree with none of that. I'd rather my son go out there and play a sport, basketball, soccer, baseball, whatever, something that he's gonna excel at because he likes it, versus getting into a dangerous sport as football. Where it can take the wrong snap or the wrong movement of somebody hits you and that kid can be paralyzed. ⁓ worse off, die. You know what I'm saying? Who knows? We've not seen stories of people didn't want to play and stuff happen and they end up dying on the field or getting themselves hurt bad. It's not worth it, man. It's not worth it. I don't care who you are, what you got going on. It's not worth it. Because that's not tough. That's not tough. That's crazy. That's crazy to me. And at the end of the day, I don't care for that type of carrying on. But let me tell you something, man. From me to you, my message to the black man. You don't have to carry every burden alone. Your life has value. Your emotions matter. Your mental health matter just as much as your physical health. Galatians 6 and 2. Bear one another's burden and fulfill the law of Christ. Sometimes healing begins when a man finally gives himself permission to say, I'm not okay. I need help. That simple line right there. When you can sit back as a man to say, I'm not okay. I need help. That moves mountains right there. That right there in itself moves mountains. Because when you are in a place where we're taught to be strong, to hold it together, to never cry, to keep moving no matter how much pain we carry. But strength is not ignored, not ignoring your wounds. Strength is having the courage to face them. Strength don't mean strength don't mean You get to ignore your wounds. Strength is having the courage to face them. That's toughness. That's strength. When you can stand up and face your wounds and things that you're going through, that's strength. That's wisdom right there. When you can stand up and face it, not run away or go the other way or tuck it like it don't matter. But one thing for certain and two things for sure. Many black men carry the weight of fatherless, fathers fatherlessness and broken relationships. That right there. Is major in our society. Fatherlessness and broken relationships right there. When them broken relationships and no fathers around, that lack of trust, disappointment already at an early age, a lot of people start behind the eight ball because of that. They see no father, no male role model, that broken relationship. You know what I'm saying? Right then and there. What did I do wrong? Why my father don't love me? Why my father don't love me? Why you don't want to be a part of my life? Why? What did I do wrong? What did I do wrong? And at the end of the day, a man can be a provider and still need support. A man can be a leader and still need healing. A man can love God and still struggle emotionally. Healing begins when we stop pretending and start talking. God never intended for men to carry every burden alone. Even strong men need prayer, community, accountability, and support. God never intended for men to carry every burden alone. Matthew 11, 28. Come to me, all ye that labored and heavy bird, heavy laden, I will give you rest. God said, Come to him, brothers, and he'll give you rest. Who else is gonna do that for you? That's what I always say. You gotta have that relationship. It's imperative that you have that relationship. And we gotta get these masks off and we come in the spirit and truth, speak the truth. If somebody asks how you doing, I'm not okay, brother, but I'm gonna be all right. I'm going through some things, but I'm gonna be all right. It's okay. I don't have all the answers, but I know I'm gonna be okay. And you gotta have that faith to believe that you're gonna be okay, but you gotta see yourself being better. Oftentimes I tell people, if you don't see yourself being better, you'll never be better because you gotta see yourself out of that situation. If you can see yourself free from that and doing better, is a good chance you can do it. A great chance because you can see it. That's one of the biggest things, man. You gotta work towards it. You gotta put that work in, man. And like I said, this mental health month, check on your brothers, father, son, pastor, and your friend. A simple question can save a life. Brother, how you how are you really doing? How are you really doing? Because at the end of the day, you know, it's people brush it off and man, you know, it's nothing, man. You know, everything all right, man. You know, I ain't worried about nothing. I ain't worried about nothing. And another thing, most black men were never taught to heal. We were taught to survive. You know, you survive discreets, rejection, abandonment, poverty, heartbroke. And we just survive and being told to man up. You know, that one phrase right there, I wish we could man up. You know, stick your chess out, man up. You'll be all right, suck it up, man up. And me with being told to man up, we learn to ⁓ we learn to bury our pain instead of processing it. And when you bury something versus processing it, You just tucking it down, pushing it down, deep down, and hopefully you forget about it. But processing processing it and getting to an answer is the opposite of that. You deal with it, you talk about it, and you move forward. Come to a conclusion and you move forward. But when you on the other side where you're trying to tuck it and bury it, like it ain't never happened or ain't matter or ain't got no impact on you, but the truth will come up because it cut No matter how deep you try to pack something or bury it, it will come back up. It will something that will happen, it will come back. I'm telling you, it will come back up. And like I said, another thing we learn to do is like I said, instead of healing, instead of healing, many learn to hide it and wear the mask. You know, people wear that mask. So many people right now, man, if you just put them to the side and ask them an honest question, man, you'll know the truth, man. You'd be like, wow, I didn't know you had all that going on. But man, you know, we gotta keep going, you know, you know, you know how we do. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. I don't know nothing. Nah, I don't know nothing. Like I said, some men are not hard because they want to be. It's because life convinced them that being soft was dangerous. And that's facts. That's what life convinced you. That being hard is better. Because being soft was dangerous, you know. When you're soft, people take advantage of you. They think you're sweet, you know. Crazy nonsense like that that People poking your head and this, that and the third. I think oftentimes a lot of people jiving, they're not the person that they put off to be. I was telling somebody this earlier, like so many people wearing masks, man. It's crazy. It's so many people wearing masks or hiding behind this or hiding behind that. Or there's so many things that people hide behind because they look at it as if they really know the real me, what they really love me, what they really accept me. Amen. God loves you. God accept you. God made you in his image. He know all about you. Being who you really are and being yourself, it will get you love. It gets you love, respect, honor. Because here's the deal. Be your authentic self. It's only one of you, brothers. Remember this. It's only one of you. So why won't why you want to be somebody else? That's too much time and effort. Be who God called you to be and who God made you to be. You don't have to worry about all the extra stuff. You don't have to. Like I can remember like throughout the scriptures, men cried, men grieved, men struggled, and call out to God because David wept. Jeremiah wept, even Jesus wept. So you mean to tell me Jesus wept? And you think you too big and too bad to let let them tears go or to weep? Are you kidding me? Jesus himself wept. David wept. Jeremiah wept. All throughout the Bible. Men cried out, cried out. But one thing I will say many black men don't need another lecture. They need a safe place. They need understanding. They need accountability. They need healing. But one of the biggest things they need of all a relationship with God. That's one of the biggest things they need. Because a healed man can change a family. A healing family can change a community. And a healed community can change a generation. My God, that's powerful right there. And that's what we really need right there. We need a healed man to change a family. A heal family to change a community and a healed community to change a generation. And my God, look how powerful we become. Nothing perfect, because ain't nothing ever gonna be perfect. But look at the work that we'll have. Just to see that. That would be a beautiful day. I would love to see that, man. To see my brothers healed and walking with their chest held high and you know, and walking with their back straight, you know, and just healed and happy, loving their family, spending time with their family. Not scared to be vulnerable and and treat their wife with love and respect and talk to their wife like they got some common sense and and just be loving and kind. Not a simp or not none of them names that people call and everything, all this nonsense. But like I say, man, ⁓ black men mental health is not just about saving men. It's about saving fathers, husbands, sons, brothers, leaders, and future generations. Healing is not weakness, bruh. Brothers, healing is not weakness. I'm telling you right now, healing is not weakness. He helped the broken in heart and bind up the wounds. Psalms 147 and 3. Healing is warp. Man, this was good, man. This was good. This was good, man. Like I said, man, you know, I I studied up on this and I took some notes, and I I'm glad I did this, man, because I mean myself, I've been doing it for a while. That I was saying it for a while and working on it a little bit here and there. And now I really wanna get this men's group up and running, man. And I know I was saying it for a while. I I had school and some other things going on, but I really wanna focus on getting a men's group together where men can have a safe place to come and and take their armor off and take them hats off and all them titles and everything and just be who God made you to be for that hour or whatever and just coming there. And and and just be you and kick back and enjoy yourself. Forget about all that other stuff. In that moment right there, just be you. Be vulnerable. Be truthful. Because it's a tr it's a safe space. It's a space where it don't come out and everybody just love on each other, help each other out, grow and get better. That's the vision that I have. And God willing I'll be coming to fruition soon, man. This was a good topic, man. You know, I didn't get enough time. Talk about about Father's Day, but I got a little time to talk about that, you know. But this was well needed, man. I hope this touch and bless some people. Send this to your brother, husband, pastor, whoever. Yo, check this out, man. If you missed the show, everything will be uploaded on the podcast. Dope Discussion with Norm the Great One. Everywhere, every platform that has podcasts, look it up. Matter of fact, go over the Dope Discussion with your boy Norm the Great One. And subscribe to the website, please, please, please, ma'am, please, sir, please, everybody go over and subscribe to the website. Everything that you miss over here will be uploaded on there that afternoon. I promise you. I'm gonna have some good stuff rolling out on there. So I appreciate the love and the support, man. I really do, man. Take this for granted at all. You know, it's a blessing to be doing this, man. And I hope and pray. That this message touch your brother somewhere out there thinking about giving up and to touch him to pick yourself up, man, and know that he still got hope. He still got love. He still got God. That's one of the biggest things over all that he got God and he still got a chance. Don't take that for granted, brothers. Get with some people. Talk. Don't hold that stuff in. Don't let another day go by you holding stuff in. Govern yourself accordingly, brothers. You got this, man. We need you. We love you. And I thank everybody for rocking with man. I appreciate the love and the support once again. Peace and blessings to you all. Go check out the podcast. Dope discussion with your boy Norm Great One. But every everywhere that's podcast available, you can find me over there. Like I said, man, you know, like I always say, y'all have a blessed rest of the week and the weekend. If God's willing, man, same place, same time next week. Peace. We out of here, baby. Thanks for listening to this episode of Dope Discussions. Where faith isn't quiet and truth isn't comfortable. Continue on this journey with us, like and share on your favorite podcast platform. And for more real kingdom conversations, be sure to subscribe so that you never miss an episode.