Latest / The Lila Rose Show / E47: How to Thrive When You’re Single

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E47: How to Thrive When You’re Single · The Lila Rose Show

0:00
You have an incredible purpose for your life.
0:03
The time and the state that you are in right now.
0:05
There is an incredible purpose for it and a lot of joy to be
0:08
discovered in it. Take your focus, that intensity
0:12
of your experience, and consider what other people are going
0:15
through. All of our deepest longing is
0:18
only satisfied in God, who's infinite.
0:20
But I think it's good to dream about it.
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I think it is good to desire it. It's a lot more hopeful than you
0:26
may see. Hey guys, welcome back to the
0:32
Lila Rose podcast. Today we're going to do a solo
0:35
episode, so it's just me. We're going to be talking about
0:37
being single, singleness in today's modern world, how to
0:41
navigate singleness and to do it in a way to find fulfillment and
0:45
to set yourself up for success long term.
0:50
And for most people's part of success means in terms of
0:53
relationship, marriage. So what does that look like if
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you are a marriage minded single who is hoping for that one day
1:00
and you're navigating the rocky world of being single.
1:03
Now, if you're listening and maybe you're single and you're
1:05
like, I'm totally good, I'm content.
1:07
OK, great. I'm very happy for you.
1:09
I do think this episode will still have some content for you.
1:12
But this episode is especially for people who are struggling,
1:15
who are single and maybe they really want to be married, or
1:18
they're single and they're struggling with loneliness, or
1:21
they're single and they're feeling like, what do I do with
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this time in my life where I feel like I'm waiting for
1:26
something. Or they're single and they're
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feeling that they're never going to have the future that they
1:32
hope for. Whatever it might be, they're
1:35
feeling stuck or they're feeling sad or they're feeling lonely.
1:37
So this is especially for you, but it's also for you if you're
1:40
if you're content because you'll get some good principles along
1:42
the way. Our sponsor for today is 7 weeks
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3:08
bio. All right, so many of you guys
3:10
know I am almost five years married, very gratefully
3:15
married, very happily married to an amazing man.
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I talked to talk about him a little bit sometimes he's very
3:22
private, but he is fully supportive of this work.
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But he's an amazing man. I mean, he was the best man that
3:27
I had ever met besides my dad. And when I met him, I fell in
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love very quickly. He fell in love with me.
3:33
We got married, but before meeting my husband, there was
3:37
probably a decade, at least in my life of feeling at times
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worried or concerned or just questioning, hey, where is that
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future for me? Because I did feel like I was
3:49
probably called to marriage. And so I was wondering a lot and
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dating a lot of different guys. And so there were different
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stresses for me at different points.
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But these principles that I'm going to share were game
4:00
changing for me and they made my 20s, which is when I did most of
4:04
my dating before I got married. They made my 20s incredibly
4:08
beautiful. Actually.
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I feel that my single years before I got married were
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beautiful, beautiful years. And they were punctuated with
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more joy and growth than with any kind of stress or sorrow.
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So I'm sharing that because I think that's possible for every
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person listening, and that's why these principles are so
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important and so valuable. So the stuff that I'm sharing
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too is a collection of wisdom and some stories that are from
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over a decade of my life and from hundreds of conversations
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I've had with mentors, dozens of mentors and advisors I've had
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over the years, books that I've read, studies that I've done,
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retreats that I've done. All of this has helped me really
4:48
crystallize, especially when I was single, how to be content
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and how to grow no matter where it was planted, no matter what
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was going on circumstantially in my life.
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So first general foundation for everything I'm about to share is
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I this is for you is to have hope, to have hope about your
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life, about yourself, about your future, that you, I believe,
5:12
have a beautiful future that God has an incredible plan for you.
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Maybe you're not even religious, but I believe that for you that
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you have an incredible purpose for your life and that the time
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and the state that you are in right now there is an incredible
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purpose for it and a lot of joy to be discovered in it.
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All right, so let's dive in. There are 6 principles I'm going
5:33
to share. The first principle sounds
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really simple, but I'm going to break it down because it's
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really, really important. Without this first principle, if
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you are single, especially if you're feeling discontented,
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you're going to really struggle to ever feel contented as a
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single person because this principle is a key to unlock
5:53
human peace and satisfaction. Yes, there's supernatural peace
5:57
that God can give us no matter how difficult our life is, but
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we're human beings. We're made to live in a certain
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way. We need food, we need air.
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There's certain things we need as creatures, as human beings,
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and this principle is the key to unlock so much joy and peace for
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you, especially as a single person.
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OK, it is find your community. Find community.
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Now community is not just like I'm, I show up at the community
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gym, you know, three times a week.
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If you do, that's great, keep doing it.
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But community is discovering friendship and building
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relationships with people that are real and authentic.
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And you actually spend significant portions of time
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with these people. You cannot do, I cannot do life
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alone. There's some people who feel
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like self-sufficiency is really important for them.
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They're just going to crush it, go out there and they're like
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man alone, woman alone. But deep down that's not
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natural, it's not healthy. We're called to live, and we're
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made to live in community with each other, being known by other
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people, our flaws as well as our strengths, our joys as well as
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our sorrows, our desires, our fears, all of these things.
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We're called to be able to share that with other people.
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It's natural. And to have other people share
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that with us. And so, you know, when I was in
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my 20s, I at one point was living in Washington, DC.
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So I had opened my live action office there.
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I had moved out there from California.
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And I, you know, we were hiring staff.
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I was building this huge organization.
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I was making all of this difference.
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We're doing all these investigative reports of the
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abortion industry. I was meeting with Congress.
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I was doing all of these very intense things.
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And when I first moved to DC, I lived with someone who would
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become a very dear friend of mine as a roommate.
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And we had a blast together. She was someone I clicked with.
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We had similar goals in terms of we wanted to be holy and good
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women. She was really fun.
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We would work out together. We would, you know, laugh, we
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would drink wine. We would talk about things that
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mattered. We would go out and meet people
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together. It was a really fun.
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She was an amazing person, a really fun.
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We'd cook together. We'd talk about, you know, our
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cycles as women. That was really important.
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You know, our hormones, our cycles and balancing them.
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We did that stuff together and it made life so rewarding and
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enriching. Along with my work and my
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mission, my professional work, I would have this amazing
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relationship with this woman, this friend of mine, and then we
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had other friends that were in our circle and we would hang out
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with that was really good and healthy.
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Well, what happened to me is inevitably we had to move apart
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from each other. She moved in, I think with some
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other women or I don't remember if she might have moved home.
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I ended up moving into a apartment by myself.
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So I lived by myself. And at first I was like, OK, I'm
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just going to do this for a period of time until I probably
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either leave DC or I'm going to find another roommate, but I'm
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just going to live by myself for now.
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It's kind of like a quick fix. Well, enter 2 / 2 years of
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living by myself and there's a lot of reasons for that.
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I'm not going to get into that. But I would say the hardest part
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of my entire 20s and dating and everything I would trace back to
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a lot of it like unnecessary turmoil was living by myself and
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not living in close community with other especially women at
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the time. I mean, I was a single woman, so
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living with other women. So for me, I learned a lesson
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kind of after the fact because I was busy doing other things and
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I traveled a ton because of my work.
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I was traveling internationally. I was doing all of this stuff.
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Looking back on the time, I realized that yes, I was seeking
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out community to some degree in DC, but it was really hard to
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find community. My family was in California, so
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I couldn't like go home for dinner on a Sunday night with my
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parents. My siblings, I have seven
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siblings, were all over the country, mostly in California,
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couldn't go hang out with my siblings and I didn't really
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have close friends. Eventually I would make close
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friends, but I didn't really have close friends in DCI was
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this activist doing all of this stuff.
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And so kind of people knew me for that.
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And I was a boss, I employed people.
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So I had this responsibility and these roles.
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That was hard to just kind of show up at a party with other
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people and just, you know, be normal because I had these other
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roles and responsibilities. So all that to say, it felt
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isolating. And if you are in a situation
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where you feel lonely, you feel like just painfully lonely, I
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highly recommend that the first solution is not to go out and
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find the first person that you can date, although be open to
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dating. We're going to get to that.
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But if you're feeling lonely, you need human beings.
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You need friends and sometimes as a single person that might be
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living with your family. I'm, I'm actually a big
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supporter of living with one's family.
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I think that's a beautiful thing.
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I think obviously there need to be boundaries and things like
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that. But you know, think about it,
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living with our family in past generations, that's how
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generational wealth was conserved.
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That's how a lot of traditions were passed down until that that
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generation was ready to leave the house.
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If that's not your family culture, that's not an option.
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Don't worry about it. Find someone with shared values.
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That's really important for her roommate or an apartment mate.
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Share values who you can start building a little community with
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and then obviously develop friendships.
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How do you develop friendships? We might do an episode on this
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in the future. I'm going to touch on this for
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just a moment. Some key principles of
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friendship. Friendship is about, in my
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opinion, yes, enjoying shared activities, enjoying another
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person and their amazing personality and their interests
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and their experiences, sharing yourself with that other person.
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But friendship ultimately is about looking towards or looking
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at growth. It's about growing together.
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It's about becoming more who you're called to be together.
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So you want to have people that accept you, yes, People that you
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feel comfortable with, yes. People that you can laugh with,
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yes. But you also want to have some
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friends who are going to be willing to talk about important
11:55
things, things that matter, grow as human beings and really want
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to grow in their own virtues or their own skills or their own
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personal development. People that are really going
12:03
places, not in terms of like worldly success necessarily,
12:06
although that's good to have drive and ambition.
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The people who really want to be the best that they can be and be
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people that are emotionally healthy, physically healthy,
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mentally healthy, and yes, we all have our struggles and
12:20
issues, but they're working on health, right?
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So find friends that you can work on health with.
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How do you do that? Go to the places where people
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are working on health. And that's typically not the
12:32
club or the bar. Not saying bars and clubs are
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always a bad idea. I think they're often a bad
12:37
idea, but the people working on their health are going to be at
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the gym because they're literally working on their
12:42
health physically at faith or religious activities, because
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they're working on their eternal health, their spiritual health.
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They're going to be at, you know, interesting activities
12:51
where you're growing in skills and learning how to do things.
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As they're growing on their, they're growing their, the
12:55
health of their personalities, right or their skills.
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They're going to be doing community service because they
12:59
understand that their own virtue and their their health, their
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spiritual health and emotional health is connected to loving
13:05
and serving others. So find friends doing those
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things. And that's a very key part of
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discovering people that you can really be friends with.
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So it's hard to be sad when you have great friends.
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It's hard to be sad when you live in a real community.
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It's hard to be sad when you feel known and you know other
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people and you are doing activities and part of this
13:29
group that's growing together. Yes, I'm not saying that will
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solve every feeling that you have.
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You might still be like, hey, I really wish I was married right
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now or hey, I'm really wish I was in a relationship right now.
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I'm not saying it will take that away entirely, but it's like
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night and day. It is night and day for someone.
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If you are living alone right now and you don't regularly,
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like multiple times a week, see friends and see people that you
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do life with, then I don't think it's a surprise if you were
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feeling pretty miserable. But if you change that and you
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lived in community and you lived with people that shared your
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values that you got along with and you saw people multiple
14:05
times a week to share activities with, then I guarantee you your
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happiness quotient will increase.
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And iron sharpens iron. By being with other people who
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are growing, you will grow. You will become a better person
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in a way by osmosis, but your behaviors are going to be
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influenced by the good behavior of other people.
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If you're just influencing your own behavior all day long
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because all that you do is like work remotely from your computer
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and kind of stay home a lot, you're not really going to be
14:32
growing. So remember, you need community.
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Find community, build community. It's key.
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The next principle for anyone who's single is this work on
14:42
yourself. Work on yourself, especially to
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the women listening right now. This is an amazing opportunity
14:48
for you to become the most amazing woman that you can be,
14:52
and that means a lot of things. I'm going to go through a quick
14:56
list of what that looks like to work on oneself.
14:58
But we are constantly, I think as human beings, we should be
15:01
working on ourselves. We should be as Christians, if
15:04
you're listening, a Christian asking God to work in US and
15:06
work through us and work on us and we want to collaborate with
15:09
God. But any human being, regardless
15:11
of their faith background or their beliefs is called, I
15:13
believe, to develop their virtues, their skills, their
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human person to be the best that they can be.
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So there's a few categories I want to run through here.
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First of all, develop your virtue.
15:24
Develop your virtues. I think we're going to do an
15:26
episode in the future just on virtues.
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But what is a virtue? A virtue is living habits of
15:32
good behavior. It's pretty simple, right?
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What are your daily habits? What do you do everyday?
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Do you have habits that are good?
15:40
Do you have good disciplines in your life?
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Do you have good modes of thought when you think about
15:45
other people, when you engage with other people, are you
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engaging with them in a just and a loving and a merciful way?
15:52
When you set yourself up to do a task in your work, are you doing
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it in a principled way, in a way with integrity, with good work
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ethic? Virtues are for all aspects of
16:03
your life. There are a lot of virtues you
16:05
can grow, and I would recommend that you pick one virtue to
16:08
start with. What is 1 virtue that you feel
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like you struggle with? Maybe, Maybe it's sloth, maybe
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it's struggling with being lazy and not getting up on time, or
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struggling with procrastination and not getting stuff done on
16:19
time. Pick that as a thing I'm going
16:21
to work on and just nail. I'm going to get better at this
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and just try again every day. Or maybe the virtue you want to
16:27
work on is not gossiping. Maybe you struggle with
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gossiping and you realize that a lot of your relationships
16:32
revolve around talking about other people and it's not
16:34
usually good stuff you're talking about.
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So maybe that's the thing to eradicate from your behavior.
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How do you work on a good virtue?
16:41
How do you develop a good virtue?
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Well, you try little tiny baby steps, little step every day
16:47
that you choose. I'm going to show up for this
16:48
step and if I fail today, I'm going to try again later in the
16:52
day. Or if I failed today and I'm
16:54
going to bed and I'm feeling frustrated that I failed, I'm
16:56
going to wake up and try again. Having a good mentor, having
16:59
somebody help help you with this is obviously key.
17:01
We'll save that for another day. But the point here is use your
17:05
single years to grow in your virtues.
17:08
Think about the person that you want to be in the next 10 to 20
17:12
years. Think about if you want to get
17:14
married, the kind of wife or mother or husband or father that
17:18
you want to be that you want to show up as.
17:20
Work on the qualities that you need today to be that person.
17:25
You can do that. You can do a lot of that work as
17:27
a single person. You don't need to be married to
17:30
develop your virtue so that when you were married, you're going
17:33
to be an amazing spouse. OK, Next, develop your
17:36
interests, get creative, get curious, try new things, develop
17:42
new skills that you need. I mean, this could be for your
17:45
professional work, or it could just be things that you feel
17:47
drawn to and have a desire for. You know, one of the things that
17:51
my husband did before we got married, he was in the Navy.
17:54
So he was a surface warfare officer and he was fantastic at
17:57
it. But then he also just loved
17:59
sailing. And so he sailed.
18:00
He loved to do sailing recreationally when he could
18:03
after his time in the Navy. And when I started dating him, I
18:07
loved that about him. It was so beautiful.
18:09
I got to share that with him. So develop your interests or
18:12
maybe for professional work, your skills.
18:14
You're trying to develop your career.
18:16
OK, What are the skills that you need to grow in?
18:18
Maybe it's your writing, maybe it's your, if you're in
18:21
marketing, it's your graphic design, your video editing.
18:24
Maybe you're getting your education so that you can be
18:27
start a business or you're already starting a business.
18:29
So you're developing your business acumen so you have a
18:31
good advisor. Develop your skills now, put in
18:34
the work now, because when you're married, when you have
18:37
kids, you're going to have less time to do the work you have now
18:40
to put in to skill building. So use this time to build your
18:45
skills. For me, in my 20s, I was working
18:48
a lot. Now I didn't just work, I had
18:50
friends. I spent a lot of time with my
18:52
family. I spent a lot of time growing in
18:54
my faith and prayer. But I spent a lot of time
18:56
working. And that work really helped set
18:59
me up for expertise and skills that I have today that helped me
19:03
make contributions in my career while still getting to focus on
19:06
my family, being a mother and being a wife.
19:10
OK, Next, develop your emotional health.
19:14
This can be a tough one. We all have stuff to deal with,
19:18
some of us more than others. And this is also mental health.
19:22
We all have mental or emotional stuff to deal with.
19:25
Maybe we're think we're cool and we're fine.
19:27
But I guarantee you, once you get into a serious relationship,
19:31
once you get married, once you have kids, whatever stuff that
19:34
wasn't resolved before is going to bubble up at one point or
19:37
another. And it's going to, unless it's
19:40
resolved or unless it's healed, unless it's fully understood, it
19:44
can negatively impact your family, your future husband,
19:48
your future kids. So take the time to understand
19:53
maybe the wounds or the unforgiveness you have in your
19:56
own heart or the things that you faced as a kid that really hurts
20:01
you, that you need to explore and that you need healing for.
20:05
Do that work? That work typically cannot be
20:08
done alone. It's typically done with a good
20:10
spiritual guide, with good and loving and wise friends, with
20:14
good advisors or mentors. We're not meant to heal alone.
20:18
We're meant to share our experiences with trusted and
20:21
wise people, to help us understand our own histories and
20:24
to help us understand our future then, and what how we want to be
20:27
in our future. So take the time to work on your
20:30
emotional and your mental health.
20:33
Next, your financial health. Take the time to figure out your
20:37
finances. Maybe you're neck deep in debt
20:41
from college and you're like, what am I going to do?
20:44
Make a plan to pay off the debt. Maybe you're working a job, but
20:47
you're spending a lot of that money because you're like, oh,
20:49
I'm not married. I don't, I don't have a house
20:51
yet. I'm you know, I don't have kids
20:53
yet. So I just have all this free
20:55
money. So I'm going to do all these
20:55
vacations. No Save money, save money,
20:58
invest your money. Maybe if you can, I would even
21:01
recommend buying property. I mean, do all of this with a
21:04
good business advisor. I think Dave Ramsey gives a lot
21:07
of good advice online. There's a lot of people that
21:08
give good financial advice online.
21:10
But get financially healthy as best you can.
21:13
Now, this isn't a requirement. Can't.
21:15
It's not like you have to be perfectly financially healthy or
21:17
perfectly emotionally healthy or perfectly, you know, physically
21:20
healthy in order to get married. Of course not, but you should be
21:23
working towards health, right? You should be working towards
21:26
health. And then last two is, yes, your
21:28
physical health, this includes emotional and mental, but your
21:31
physical health is also your body.
21:33
Are you eating good nutrition? Are you working out?
21:36
Are you taking care of your sleep?
21:38
Are you making sure that you are fueling yourself and taking your
21:41
care of your physical body? Because that's longevity in your
21:44
life, right? Do you want to get married one
21:46
day, have kids? You want longevity.
21:47
You want to take good care of yourself and you want to be a
21:50
person that understands how you got to take care of yourself so
21:53
you can take care of other people because when you get
21:56
married, you want to be able to take care of your spouse.
21:58
In my marriage, I want to be able to cook healthy meals.
22:01
I want to be able to have a good sleep routine as best I can.
22:04
When you have little kids, it's really hard, but I want to have
22:06
good routine so that I can be healthy and show up healthy for
22:09
my family. Last one is spiritual health.
22:13
This is something I'm going to touch on more later, but it
22:16
matters just as much in my opinion as your physical health,
22:20
your mental health, and emotional health.
22:21
So we're going to touch on this later, but I just wanted to tag
22:23
it here. OK, So work on yourself.
22:25
This is a great opportunity to do all of this, work on yourself
22:28
and yourself improvement so you can be an even better version of
22:32
yourself for your future love. And this is going to make you
22:36
even more beautiful and attractive for that person that
22:41
you hope to be with one day doing this work now.
22:45
And this is work for a lifetime, but you have a special time, a
22:48
special area in your life or a special window in your life now
22:52
to do this work. OK, so next principle, serve
22:55
others. If you're single, you're
22:56
struggling with what do I do? How do I meet this guy or meet a
23:00
guy or whatever I'm struggling or meet a girl.
23:04
Take your focus, that intensity of your experience, and consider
23:08
what other people are going through.
23:09
When I was in my 20s, again, using my own life experiences
23:13
here, this is what I have, part of what I have to offer.
23:16
I was pouring myself out for the pro-life 'cause I saw children
23:20
were in danger. I saw that they needed help and
23:22
that I could advocate for them and that their mothers and
23:25
fathers who were being lied to or they had chosen the wrong
23:28
path and they were hurt afterwards and deceived.
23:31
And I wanted to find a way to help.
23:33
And that took so much pressure off of me.
23:36
Always worried about me because now I could care about other
23:40
people and I could serve other people.
23:42
And you can serve people anywhere you go.
23:43
You can serve your family, you can serve your friends.
23:46
You can go volunteer at a homeless shelter.
23:49
You can go volunteer at a resource pregnancy center and
23:52
help families there. You can go and discover how to
23:55
become a Big Brother or Big Sister and mentor other kids and
23:58
get trained to do that. You can go and show up for a
24:01
family that you know that has little kids and bring them a hot
24:04
meal or offer to go and clean their house.
24:06
I mean, think about any families that you know well enough or
24:09
family friends where you could just offer to go like weed, the
24:12
yard. I mean, do something like that
24:14
practical to help and serve somebody else.
24:17
It's amazing how rewarding it feels when we serve other
24:20
people. It literally can give you
24:22
endorphins. So you're getting actually you
24:25
could say more than what you're giving by giving.
24:29
And you're also putting yourself in new context where you could
24:33
meet someone, or you're putting yourself in new context where as
24:36
you're developing your skills, your virtues, your for other
24:38
relationships with the community, it could lead to you
24:41
meeting somebody. So focus on serving others.
24:44
Service of others is a key, I think, for any single person.
24:47
And then when you get married too, but it is a key to
24:50
discovering satisfaction as a single person.
24:54
It's hard to be too miserable ourselves when we're considering
24:58
how other people are feeling and we're actively seeking to help
25:02
other people feel and live better.
25:05
OK, next one I said under work on yourself.
25:08
I ended it with spiritual health and I said I'd talk about it
25:10
more here. We're going to talk about it.
25:12
The next one is discover God. I think that God is everything.
25:18
I think he created us. He loves us, He's our Father,
25:21
and I think we're ultimately created to live with him forever
25:24
in heaven. That there is an eternity, there
25:26
is a life after death. I talk about this sometimes on
25:29
the podcast, people who aren't religious.
25:31
I know you're so many of you still listen along because
25:34
you're curious or you're open to hearing other points of view.
25:37
Thank you for being here. But I think we're all called to
25:40
be on a quest to seek the truth. And I believe that God is truth.
25:43
So use your single years to explore what you believe, why
25:48
you believe. And ultimately, I pray for you
25:51
that you you can discover the one true God who I believe is
25:53
Jesus Christ and put yourself out there for that.
25:56
Go to, you know, Catholic Mass. If you maybe aren't Catholic,
25:59
you're not sure what you think about faith.
26:02
Find wise theological people that can talk to you about God
26:06
and who is God and answer your questions or objections.
26:09
Read books about it, listen to podcasts about it.
26:12
Even if you have time, go on some retreats about it or go on
26:15
some take some classes about it. One of the things that I did
26:17
when I was single, as I went on this, I took a lot of different
26:20
classes and courses, but I went on this retreat to learn about
26:23
the theology of the body in Pennsylvania.
26:25
And I did that for a week just to explore what this theology of
26:29
the body was. I mean, so doing stuff like that
26:31
is going to help you grow and it's going to help you discover
26:33
God. So be intentional about that
26:36
because at the end of the day, all of our deepest longing is
26:40
only satisfied in God, who's infinite and whose perfect love.
26:45
And so no matter your circumstances and what happens
26:48
to you in this life or you know, if you get married and you have
26:51
struggles in your marriage, you're single, you're
26:52
struggling. God is the one who can bring you
26:55
the deepest peace and the deepest consolation regardless
26:59
of what's going on in your life. OK #5 for the singles who are
27:03
seeking happiness, put yourself out there as a single person.
27:07
Don't just stay at home or don't just hang out with the girls.
27:10
I mean, if you're a girl listening, you're like, I'm just
27:12
going to do my girls night. Do your girls night please.
27:15
But push yourself out there if you're seeking ultimately you
27:17
want to get married. Sometimes that takes putting
27:20
yourself in new situations, going to the parties or the
27:24
events that maybe you didn't want to go to or you don't want
27:26
to go to because you're kind of feeling tired out.
27:28
But keep showing up. Keep putting yourself out there.
27:31
Maybe it's getting on dating apps.
27:32
I am not opposed to dating apps. I know a lot of people who have
27:35
met and married using dating apps and they're very happy.
27:39
So not to say that dating apps are failed proof because there's
27:42
a lot of crazy stuff that happens and people can
27:44
misrepresent themselves. We'll talk about that another
27:47
time, but put yourself out there as a single person.
27:50
It's really, I think one of the the tragedies today when people
27:55
feel stuck and kind of hopeless about their lack of relationship
28:00
or they're not married and then they don't try anymore.
28:03
And I think it's important that we put the work in.
28:06
Now, if you are a woman, especially typically speaking, I
28:10
would say let the guy make the first move.
28:12
This isn't like as a woman go out there and just start asking
28:14
guys out. But I think sometimes it is
28:16
appropriate, like leave your phone number.
28:18
If you feel like there's chemistry, leave your phone
28:20
number. You're at a restaurant.
28:21
I was just talking with a girlfriend of mine.
28:23
That's how she met her husband and now father of her, I think 4
28:26
kids. She literally left her phone
28:28
number for him at a restaurant and he was the waiter.
28:31
And they're happily married now. So stuff like that happens.
28:35
So, but put yourself out there, put yourself out there, meet
28:37
people, go unexpected places. You know, certainly church is
28:40
good in the gym and things like that, But find places where you
28:44
can meet more people. Maybe it's dating apps as well,
28:46
travel, do interesting things, put yourself out there.
28:49
The last principle for singles is have vision.
28:52
Have a vision of what you want to be and the kind of marriage
28:56
you hope to have and the kind of person that you hope to meet.
28:59
Have a desire like what are your desires?
29:02
Have your desires and develop in your mind.
29:04
What is the vision that you hope for in the future?
29:06
Now, this isn't to say that you should have this list of they
29:09
have to be exactly this tall with this color eyes and they
29:12
have we have to live in this state.
29:14
That's not really what I mean by vision, by the way, it's not
29:16
wrong to want those things. It's not, but why vision?
29:19
I mean, have a sense in your mind of what it is I'm aiming
29:23
for. Do I want a family one day?
29:26
Do I want to get married one day?
29:27
What kind of healthy marriage do I hope for one day?
29:31
What kind of healthy person and good person do I hope to be with
29:34
one day? Because that I think ultimately,
29:37
yes, it can make you feel sometimes unrest restless
29:40
because you're like, I don't have that.
29:42
But I think it's good to dream about it.
29:44
I think it is good to desire it. I think some people would say,
29:47
oh, don't don't think about it too much, but I think it's
29:49
actually good. I think some people give up.
29:51
They give up on the dream. They give up on having hope for
29:55
the future that they might have. It's a lot more hopeful than you
29:58
may see. Like, listen, you might be
30:00
feeling really depressed, like I have not met them.
30:03
You know, maybe you're 33 or you're 35 and you're like, I'm,
30:06
I'm in my 30s. I still haven't met this person.
30:08
There's a lot of people in the world.
30:09
In the United States alone, I think there's 119,000,000
30:12
singles, 119,000,000 singles over the age of 18.
30:15
So there's a lot of people out there in the United States
30:18
alone. So be hopeful.
30:20
I think God is a plan for you and I think that you and your
30:24
focus on these other principles and your hopefulness is really
30:28
key and you can grow as a person and you can grow in your own
30:33
contentment to prepare you for that amazing love story that God
30:37
has for you. I believe that, yes, no one has
30:40
promised love, no one has promised marriage, but I really
30:42
believe God has a plan for you and just be hopeful.
30:45
It could be right around the corner.
30:47
It only takes one. Don't lower your standards.
30:50
Have hope, have joy, do these other principles.
30:53
There's someone out there who is probably hoping and wishing to
30:56
meet Someone Like You and they just haven't met you, you yet.
31:00
Drop your information in the comments too.
31:02
If you're single and you're like hey I'm single and I'm in what
31:04
state and I enjoy doing XYZ things and this is my face,
31:08
background, whatever. Maybe people can meet each other
31:10
in the comments. So to wrap up here, find
31:12
community. Can't do it alone.
31:14
Work on yourself, become the best you can be, serve others,
31:18
find God, put yourself out there and finally be hopeful.
31:24
You're going to crush it. It's going to be great.
31:26
God bless you guys Don't forget to subscribe to the Lila Rose
31:29
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