Latest / Strange Stuff Podcast / Episode 251: History and Mystery
Transcript
- Andy: Alle voilà, I'm Andy. Mark: I'm Mark, ⁓ no preamble, just straight in. Andy: straight to business. I saw you your picture came on and then you just stood up and walked away. Mark: I needed to illuminate the situation. Andy: It's actually very bright, regardless. Mark: Right, good. Andy: ⁓ yeah, talking of bright, it is bright. It's lovely and bright. Beautiful sunny day. Mark: ⁓ actu yeah we got clouds. We got clouds. Andy: Yesterday was twenty two degrees, I believe. Mark: ⁓ yeah, which was good, as compared to thirty in Sweden is a little bit hot. As it was over the weekend. Andy: Where was it they? Was it? Mark: In war it was, yeah, thirty degrees. Thirty one actually. I'm not surprised you live near the bloody North Pole. What do you expect? Andy: ⁓ we never had that. I love the eight degrees. Mark: In fact, you are I've asked you before, how far are you away from the Arctic Circle, a hundred kilometres? Andy: Miles. English, English miles. Mark: English miles. All right, a hundred and sixty K. And you've never been there? Andy: Why would I? My scooter's only got a fucking seventy kilometre range. Mark: You can walk the rest. Andy: I would dry up and then I'd be fucked 'cause I'd have to push Mark: You'd be eaten by mosquitoes, that's for sure. Andy: Well not around here. I've never seen one round here, you know. No, never. In the whole time I've been in Julefte, never seen one. Mark: What? You're joking. I just thought it was How weird I just assumed everywhere up north was covered in mosquitoes. Andy: Yeah, I mean apparently where I was living in the middle of the forest was supposed to be the mosquito capital of the world. ⁓ actually, yes, that was the one time I did see mosquitoes when Hannah turned on the air conditioning in her room when she stayed at my house. And it basically sucked in four million mosquitoes into her bedroom. And they filled the house. I'd n that was when I went out and I bought that fucking mosquito murdering machine. Mark: Nice. What the gas one? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. So so now we're getting to the I've never seen a mosquito up here, and then you say you've invested eight thousand cron on a mosquito killing machine. ⁓ dear. Andy: Yeah, eight thousand crowns. I cut it the house was unlivable. No, but that's I've yes, but I've sold it since then because I've never needed it. But ⁓ yeah, up until that day and since that day, never seen a mosquito. I think they actually lived inside the air conditioning unit. They were just waiting to come. Mark: ⁓ right, that was probably the explanation. Yep. ⁓ Andy: Huh, Hannah won't ever do that again in a hurry. Mark: No, I'm sure. ⁓ you know we were talking last time about that ⁓ clip on Fox News when they were describing the thousands of people at the birthday party. I actually saw that clip and it was just ludicrous. Andy: Yes. I know. The guy's just lying while showing you the evidence of his lies. Mark: But in fact I think the co presenter was sort of there sitting in disbelief that he was talking such nonsense. Andy: I mean it's just one of them needs to turn around and be honest to scrape back a little bit of dignity from somewhere. If they just turn round and said, ⁓ I can't do this, look, it's shit. It's clearly shit. Mark: Yeah. They're not bothered. They're they're not they're they're not bothered. ⁓ sorry, and obviously on the same clip I saw the Arc to Trump that you were talking about. That chipboard mock-up that was literally covered in paper, where it was like it was wrapped in paper. Yeah, but that's not the Arc to Trump. That's an an impression of the Ark to Trump as it's going to be when they build it out of stone. Andy: Yes. It's it's fucking awful. No. They're not gonna build it out of stone. Do you think anyone's gonna let him build anything? Did you see the plastic golden eagle on the top? It's awful. Mark: It was quality. It was quality. I don't know what you're talking about. He likes a bit of golden eagle activity. He's filled the Oval Office. Andy: Ugh, there was a there was a thing in the paper today about some fucking insignia that he's had erected, ⁓ which is supposed to be an American symbol. But it's got the Nazi double-headed eagle, which for some reason has a duck's bill rather than an eagle's fucking pointy bit. And it's supposed to have the original 13 stars for the original 13 states as part of its insignia. But apparently he's only got eleven. Didn't include the two two states that were seceded. Mark: Hang on sorry, when did America have thirteen states? Andy: When it was initially ⁓ America, the United States of America. Yeah. Yeah. Fifty. It's fifty. Mark: What two hundred and fifty years ago it only had thirteen states. And how many is it today? Fifty one or fifty two? Nay. I thought it was fifty one. Andy: I'm gonna put you on my whatever podc podcast and get you to name one American state. India. Asia. Mark: Ha ha. What's it called again? What's up? What's what's up? No, what's that thing called? Whatever. Whatever. Whatever the weather. No, but it's not been a good week for ⁓ poor old Mr Trump. The Supreme Court is actually it seems turning against him. Andy: Whatever. I mean it's not It's which is a pretty amazing considering he planted most of the Supreme Court there himself, simply to back him up. Mark: Absolutely. Yes. And Andy: But you know, it's about time people started turning against him. Mark: And ⁓ have you read ⁓ it's a nice combination of UK and American story. Have you read ⁓ the the B B C and this ten billion lawsuit? Andy: ⁓ that's going nowhere. Mark: Yeah, but have you read what the BBC are doing? ⁓ absolutely we'll accept the lawsuit, but ⁓ now we want to do some discovery. So can you please ⁓ provide us with all of your phone and text message records for the two days prior to the So what they're doing is, rather than actually answering the case, they are actually establishing that he did promote the January the sixth riot, which is a perfect ⁓ tactic because he's not he's not gonna provide anything Andy: Well of course not, he never does. Cause he knows it's incriminating. Mark: So Did you know did you know that do you remember who was the Clinton and the blue dress and Lewinsky woman? Monica Lewinsky, do you remember that? Well, apparently AJ Carroll, what's her name? The one who's just won the five million. ⁓ she hasn't just won it. Yeah, the the one that he raped in the ⁓ changing room. Well Andy: Monica. That could be any one of hundreds. Mark: Apparently she's got a stain on her dress with DNA obvious and the only reason why it was not presented in court is because Trump refused to take a DNA test. Andy: You don't need to ask his permission, just fucking check any McDonald's in America and grab all the empty fucking super size Coca Cola fucking Mark: No. No, but the thing was that was it was in a civil case, it wasn't a criminal case. And so they didn't have presumably the power to force him to give a DNA sample. Andy: The motherfucker is a walking melt. There's bits falling off him all over the place. How hard can it be to get a DNA sample off that? Mark: Well anyway. So she she ⁓ that that judgment definitely went against Trump. So he actually has to there's no more ⁓ appeals. He has to pay her the five million. so that didn't go well for him. The birthright didn't go well for him. One thing did go well for him, apparently the power of the president or something has been protected. But anyway, it's been a busy week. What? Andy: In what ⁓ in what respect? In what respect the power of the president? Mark: ⁓ I dunno, but ⁓ they were they he was trying to broaden or cle more clearly define the powers of the president and that actually went in his favour. Andy: I mean, technically he's got no powers. We all know that. He's not pushing any buttons. here's someone who had a really bad week from ⁓ the f The Sun. It's ⁓ a poor woman. Let I'll open the story up actually, instead of just reading a headline. ⁓ do you know what? I was gonna do this in a Welsh accent, and I've opened it up only to discover. Mark: No, he's not. God. Andy: Her name is Briani. ⁓ it's well Briani. It's Welsh enough for me. Mark: That's not really Welsh, is it? No, but Brian is obviously a Welsh name, but Brian E, it sounds like someone from Texas. Andy: B R Y O N Y Breini and her much loved house in Happisburg in Norfolk is no more. The eighty-eight year old widow found herself caught between a rock and a hard place in April, and she had to have the property demolished or wait for it to topple into the sea because of its precarious position. Mark: All right. ⁓ I see. Andy: In the end, the local council made the decision for her, staying it couldn't it couldn't stand where it was and they had to rebuild the house along with other properties that were at immediate risk. So it was shocking, but Brayani said she was used to this sort of thing. Mark: But ⁓ was it a council house that they had to pro ⁓ it was? ⁓ well that was lucky for her. ⁓ Andy: Yes. So the bungalow was basically tottering on the edge of the cliff. Anyway, they rehoused her. That's what happened to her no else. Mark: What happened to any well, there's more to the story. Andy: It fell into the sea. Mark: You're w what are you joking? Andy: I finally managed to buy a new home and then it happened again. Mark: Bloody hell, she must she must have a love of ⁓ cliff top walks. Andy: Do you know what? If a house is looks as though it's way too cheap, there's a reason it's obviously perched on the edge of a very precarious chalky cliff. Mark: I think I've asked you this before. Have you ever bought a house or a flat? And have you ever had the desire to own a house or a flat or something? Andy: No. No. No. No. I've never really had the desire to live in one place for very long. Although I am getting that now because I'm so fed up with moving. I've moved all my life. There was one period of thirteen years when I stayed in one place. Mark: Did you? In Crouch End, where was it? ⁓ really? ⁓ that was a good guess. So that's Andy: Yeah. Yes, in Crouch End. Yeah. But that was that was basically because I was busy within range of that apartment for thirteen years. But previous to that I was all over the place. So i I just didn't have roots. Mark: So you were managing sex clubs for thirteen years, were you? Andy: I wouldn't say I was more to me than that. Mark: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well I think this is the longest I've ever been anywhere. Yes, it is actually. This house I've been here thirteen, fourteen years, it's the longest I've ever lived. Andy: You I remember you building it, it didn't seem that long ago. Mark: No it was. It was two thousand and ⁓ eleven, two thousand and twelve that I started. Yeah, exactly. So what else is happening in the world other than Brayony fo house falling? Andy: Two thousand eleven one. ⁓ it's is I mean, obviously it's the sun, so there's not much good. ⁓ for some reason we need to know what the England players' girlfriends are rocking in the way of fashion. And in case you weren't sure, we've got some pictures of non entities and what they're wearing turning up to Wimbledon. Mark: You see, you you obviously are so out of touch, Andy. Don't you understand that they make TV series about footballers' wives? In fact I think there is a series called Footballer's Wives. Andy: Yeah, but does a picture of your wife in a pair of denim shorts like millions of other girls on a hot summer's day really warrant a front page of a fucking newspaper? ⁓ fuck off. I don't care how hot your arse is, it ain't that hot. Mark: Of course it does when there's little else to do. Who was it? I I I don't think I could name a single England footballer. Andy: No idea, and I probably couldn't name her boyfriend either. And it won't be her boyfriend for long. I mean we all know how these things end up. Mark: Why? You think you think footballers can't have a meaningful, loving relationship? Andy: ⁓ He'll be accused of rape by three other women, which he'll settle out of court for. She'll leave with three other baby daddies. It's the same old story. You don't even need to make a TV show, just ask me. Mark: You are the stereotypical sun reader. Andy: I've just described the stereotypical footballer's girlfriend, exactly. ⁓ okay, her name ⁓ no, his name is Jude Bellingham. Who's Jude Bellingham? Sounds like an actor. Mark: No, he's obviously he's an England footballer. A are we through to the final sixteen? Andy: No idea. Mark: 'Cause I know Sweden got knocked out by France. Andy: Well they would, it was France. ⁓ I know that we couldn't even beat the fucking Congo. Mark: Don't be ridiculous. We haven't played the Con the Congo is not in the World Cup. Andy: We did Yes, because I told you they've imtr invited all these nobody teams who didn't have to beat anyone to qualify. DR Congo. Doctor Congo. Doctor Pepper's fucking African cousin. Mark: It's quite a big country actually, the Congo, looking at the map. It's probably four or five times the size of the UK. Andy: ⁓ in that case they've probably got a really good football team on the international stage. Who did they beat to qualify? Nobody, that's who. That's why. And you know I was moaning about the size of the World Cup competition. Apparently it has expanded to forty-eight teams for this competition, not just the thirty-two that I was moaning about. Mark: I don't know. Alright. Congo's quite an interesting country actually. What is the capital of ⁓ Congo? Kin Kinshasa. But what is interesting, it's right in the middle of ⁓ the African continent, and it's got a tiny little slither of land that goes out to the coast. Tiny little slither of land to give it access to the sea. That must be a busy old port. Andy: Who the fuck cares? Mark: Anyway. Andy: Why? What do they export apart from people? Mark: ⁓ bananas. Isn't the Congo one of the biggest producers of bananas? Andy: Bananas. you're just making that shit up now. Mark: What's that very famous ⁓ make of banana, conkalulli or something? I thought they came from the Congo. Anyway. So ⁓ you know Germany were knocked out of the World Cup and they're usually quite strong contenders. Andy: Really? Yes. Yes, they were knocked out. Mark: And I think Netherlands have gone as well, and they used to do very well in football. England might have it this year. England might be world champions. Andy: Mm. ⁓ s please don't don't just sully my podcast with that bollocks propaganda nonsense. It's never gonna happen. I'm not slipping, it's not Freudian Mark: You keep you keep slipping when you say my podcast. What so Andy: England are shit. They've always been shit. They will always be shit. Mark: ⁓ it's nice that that is being recorded at seventeen minutes into this podcast. It's your podcast. So when we get done for defamation or whatever you get done for, I'll say it's nothing to do with me, officer. Andy: Well for being a realist. We are under arrest for realism. Mark: Mm-hmm. Freedom of speech. Andy: So anyway, let's have a look at what happened today, July the first. Істрі Mark: Well I can tell you one thing they were doing. July the first they were probably preparing for the birthday of the USA. Three days pre preparation time for a birthday. Andy: Mm. Well that that's probably two and a half days more than they spent on this birthday. ⁓ in eighteen sixty three, exactly one hundred years before I was born, they had the beginning of the Battle of Gettysburg. Yeah, you were there. Mark: Ha ha ha. Andy: And it began in Gettysburg, which is of course in Pennsylvania, and the battle, which endured until the third of July, resulted in approximately two twenty-three thousand Union and twenty-eight thousand Confederate casualties, so fifty thousand dead in a three day period. Mark: In four days or three days. Andy: It was a resounding a I wouldn't call it a resounding victory, actually. It was obviously a Trump that's the best battle ever. Yep. I've never had a battle like that before. Nobody's nobody had a battle like this. A resounding victory for the Unions and a turning point in the American Civil War, which ended. And it well, actually it's a bit like the Iran conflict. It hasn't ended, has it? ⁓ but allegedly ended for the first time in April of eighteen sixty five. Two years later, in eighteen sixty seven, Canada became a country. Mark: What was it before? Andy: well, it was the British North American Act which came into effect and created the region of Canada, and it brought together the territories of Upper and Lower Canada, Nova Scotia, for those who were there at the time, and New Brunswick. And it opened the door for other provinces to join. before that they were just the top of America. But they became a country in their own right. Mark: Lucky for them. Andy: Yeah. And in eighteen ninety eight, Theodore Roosevelt charges up San Juan Hill. Why, you would ask? Would why was he charging up San Juan Hill? Well he became a national hero after leading a charge up San Juan Hill in Cuba during the Spanish American War. Mark: Why? Andy: In what Roosevelt later called the greatest day of my life. Mark: Sorry, the Spanish American War? What? Andy: Yeah, ⁓ the Spanish American War, when did that fucking happen in Cuba? They they the Americans were repelled in the Bay of Pigs as far as I remember. Mark: don't even remember that America was at war with the Spanish. Andy: ⁓ well, hello. In the two hundred and eleven years of warfare since that two hundred and fifty year existence started, I'm sure they've included the Spanish in there somewhere. Mark: So is it the Spanish sort of in in in South America area? Andy: Well yeah, well why do you think they speak Spanish and Portuguese? Mexico, Brazil? Mark: Well no, I realised that, but I didn't know they were actually went to war with these people. They don't speak Spanish in Brazil, they speak Portuguese. ⁓ did you? Sorry, yeah. Andy: I said Spanish and Portuguese. Now, Operation Crossroads. Mark: I remember that. I'll think I'll sing you the theme tune. That's right. It was a motel, wasn't it? Crossroads motel. Andy: Yes. It was on Wednesdays and Fridays, I think. It was a series of American nuclear tests, if you remember Bikini Atoll, and the the volunteer soldiers who sat and watched it and then later died of cancer. 1946. After the war has ended, we got all these spare soldiers, let's just expose them to nuclear radiation. What could possibly go wrong? Fucking Mark: Yes. With their round glass sunglasses. Yeah. Andy: ⁓ nineteen sixty one on this day our beloved Princess Diana was born. Mark: ⁓ yes, What she? What? Princess Diana was the same age as me. Andy: Yes. How old did you think she was? Mark: I j I always assumed she was much younger than me. I suppose not, 'cause Prince Charles is in his seventies, so yeah. Andy: She was born. She was born in Sandringham, England, and she famously married, of course, and divorced Prince Charles, with whom she had two kids, William and Harry. Mark: she was born in Sandringham. Well that's a royal estate. Andy: Yes. Yes. Her father was ⁓ a member of the royal household in some respects. ⁓ that's why she was Lady Diana. Anyway, ⁓ she also is famously known for being a little bit of a a naughty girl with half the English rugby team, her private personal protection squad, and anyone who had a car, a gun or fifteen minutes to spare. Mark: That's a bit of a besmirch. You can't really talk about someone who's can't defend themselves. Why'd you say that? Andy: Pretty true though. Well, she was a bit a little bit of a harlot, wasn't she? Mark: I don't think that's a reasonable description of Lady Die, Andy. Because she had relationships with other people when her husband had been pumping what's her name? Camilla. Andy: ⁓ no, because So many other people. So many other people. ⁓ did you did you did you cry when he died? Mark: No, I won't stand for that. I think she had a relationship with four other men after Charles. Andy: ⁓ please, said Mark: It was a soldier fellow. Yeah Well we don't know that. That one soldier, the red headed fellow. Yes? No. Andy: Will Carling Will Carling, several soldiers. Her personal her personal private detectives, more than one. Yes. All you had to do was be assigned to her and it was part it was I wouldn't call it a perk of the job, but it was part of the job. Mark: Did she reject you at some stage? Did she walk into one of your clubs at some stage, Andy? Get off. Go away. Andy: No, I rejected her. I said, Go away you lanky cow I like ⁓ petite mate. ⁓ anyway, in nineteen eighty one the so called Wonderland murders took place at a well known drug house in Wonderland Avenue in California. And what happened was movers next door heard moans coming from this house and police uncovered a crime scene splattered with blood and the bodies of four people. Mark: What was that? Andy: Barbara Butterfly Richardson, Joe Willer, Billy Deverell and Ron Lanius. Police suspected that a rival drug dealer Eddie Nash and a former pornographic actor, Big John Holmes had plotted the murders, but both men were actually acquitted at trial. Mark: Wasn't he Big John Hop he was a famous porn star, wasn't he? Andy: Yes. Very famous, yeah. Mark: He wasn't in Andy: Big John. I don't know. I can tell you now I don't know. I've never been one for watching or remembering porn films and certainly not the names of the fucking blokes in them. Mark: Yeah. No, but what was the most famous what was the most famous porn film ever? Andy: ⁓ that was that Linda Lovelace one, wasn't it? Mark: Exactly, thank you. Deep Throat. Was he in that? Andy: Deep throat. No he was not. That was soft porn. That was soft porn. And I haven't seen that either. Mark: ⁓ you see you see No you knew straight away you're a bit of a fan, Andy, I can tell 'cause you knew he wasn't in that one. ⁓ you see a bit of reverse reverse psychology. Andy: Yeah, I was watching it out for his dick, ⁓ that's not big John. That's little John. Well a load of rubbish. I didn't pay good money to see little John. Mark: Yeah. Andy: Would you get your money back if you made a complaint of the cinema? Mark: You could try. ⁓ dear. Andy: Anyway, that's enough about that nonsense. So nothing really of any note happened on this day in history. Mark: Well, other than the Battle of Gettysburg, for Christ's sake, that was a pretty monumental. I'll tell you what Do you reckon in the in the second and or the first and second world war, do you reckon fifty thousand people were killed in one battle over two or three days? Andy: It was just an excursion. In the First and Second World War, tens of thousands were killed in over three days. If you tr if you had to charge on the front lines and go over the top, you were basically run into machine gun fire and mortar shells. And you had to keep doing that until the enemy ran out of ammunition. Mark: Do you think? I'm going to Google that at some stage. What is the ⁓ highest casualty rate in the shortest period of time? Andy: You'll probably find something like the Battle of the Somme Mark: Yeah, the song was pretty grim, wasn't it? Andy: Anyway, that brings us to today's subject. And I've called today's episode, and you're like this, History and Mystery. Mark: Yeah. Andy: Quite proud of that. Mark: So what are you All right, go on then. Andy: ⁓ so basically, three places we're gonna visit. One is history, one is mystery, and one is a little bit of both. So we're gonna start with the puzzling history of the Nouragis, which Mark: ⁓ that's out of Game of Thrones. Nouvalis, wasn't it? Wasn't that in Game of Thrones? Alright. Andy: I said nur Nurages. And ⁓ ancient stone towers that have become symbols of Sardinia off the coast of Italy. And I mean Sardinia is not a very big place, but you'd be amazed at how many of these towers, these stone towers exist. And they were built by the new ragic civilization in the Bronze Age, nearly 4,000 years ago. And we're not entirely sure, but they may have been used as fortresses, community centres. Or even private residences during the Bronze Age. Mark: So hang on, when you say towers you're talking about a building. Andy: I I'm gonna tell you how they were constructed as well. You're gonna be quite impressed. Mark: All right, I thought you meant a p a a a stack of stones, but you're actually talking about a building with doors and windows. Andy: Definitely windows. So in Sardinia, an island off the coast of Italia, thousands of looming stone towers known as Nurages, ⁓ dot the horizon against the Mediterranean blue sea and sky. And while some stand alone as single towers, other structures are entire sprawling complexes complete with walls, courtyards and adjoining villages. Mark: Okay. Andy: And at first glance these stone buildings are kind of reminiscent of castles that date back to medieval times, but in reality, the Nurages or Nuragi were built nearly four thousand years ago, and their sturdy design has withstood the millennia as evidence that the Nuragic people who built them were far ahead of their time. over the more recent decades, archaeologists have discovered seven thousand Nuragi towers on the island. Mark: How do you spell Nuragi? Andy: ⁓ my lord, N-U-R-A-G-H-S ⁓ Mark: All right. Andy: But despite their prevalence, their purpose still remains somewhat of a mystery. ⁓ as I say, we're not sure if they were military fortresses, temples, residences, or something else entirely. That's what experts are still trying to figure out. Experts. The Nuragic people occupied Sardinia from around roughly 1900 before Bryan until 700 before Bryan. And while much of this flourishing society remains murky, the civilization was a dominating presence in the Mediterranean for centuries. They engaged in both trade and warfare, controlling various ports on the island. Sardinia is quite rich in mines. ⁓ primarily copper and lead, and the Niragic people were skilled metal workers. They imported from ⁓ across the Mediterranean tin so that they could make bronze figurines of people and animals, in addition to artifacts like swords and jewellery. They also made bronze casts of the Niragis themselves. The Niragic people mainly lived in villages consisting of simple huts, most of them constructed in the shadow of the Niragis. However, since they left behind no written records whatsoever, historians are left to speculate about most of their aspects of society. Indeed, the most concrete evidence of the Niragic civilization is their namesake, the Niragi. While much about them is left behind in by the neuragic people, archaeologists have studied them enough to split the structures into roughly three categories the proto neuragi, pholous Nuragi and complex Nuragi Mistomayagi Waxon wax off. The proto nuragi is the Mark: Mm. Exactly. Wax on, wax off. Andy: the or corridor nuragi as it's called is the earliest rendition of the structure and these were likely built between 17 and 1500 BB. They weren't as round or as conical as the structures that came after them and instead of a circular room inside they had long narrow corridors. Like all Nuragis, protonuragis were constructed without mortar or cement and used just the weight of their own stones to hold themselves together. They typically contained a stairway that led to a flat roof, which probably and seemingly had wooden huts on top of it. So they were basically a fortified stilt house, I I think. Mark: So I wonder what a house in England looked like in two thousand BC or nineteen hundred BC. Andy: A a straw hut covered in shit with a cow living downstairs. Mark: That was probably about right, wasn't it? Andy: Mm-hmm. Mark: I wonder why Sardinia be being an island ⁓ it's quite interesting, isn't it? I I'm always, you know, amazed at what they used to be able to do. And when you say they used to import tin from Europe and bronze from and and make things with it Andy: Yeah, where did you find your tin shop? Where would you go to buy tin? Mark: You know you know that's that's sort of industrial. Andy: Yes, Metal working was industrial, still is. Now later, the Nuragis had more complicated designs. Next came the Tholos Nirage, and this structure is the most seek frequently seen across Sardinia today. It's a single conical tower that rises into a beehive like shape. And they had two or three levels made completely from stone, and some of them reached heights of up to sixty feet. Quite tall. Yeah. Mark: What? Andy: Twenty meters. Mark: How old is Stonehenge? Andy: It's about the same age, I think, yeah. It's a Bronze Age structure, if I'm not mistaken. Mark: So we we were managing to turn a few stones up on their end and these people were making three storey houses. Andy: Yeah, something like that. Later Nuragi's had a more complicated design and this was the ⁓ sorry, I've just read that bit. You see you're putting me off. Now a short corridor led to a round chamber inside with a spiral staircase which ascended to the top of the structure and there were small slits in the walls which allowed light to penetrate through the stone. I would argue they also allowed bows and arrows, but there's maybe there was no archery in those days. As the centuries went on, Nuragis became only more impressive, eventually resembling medieval castles. And these complex Nuragis typically featured a centre tower with multiple smaller towers surrounding it. The structures were connected by fortified walls with walkways that formed a courtyard. And some complex Nuragis had two or three layers of walls, and the centre towers were up to a hundred feet tall. ⁓ Mark: I mean that must have been a hell of a structure. Andy: That's ten meters. I mean Mark: What are you talking about, ten metres? It's thirty metres, you idiot. Andy: Thirty meters, I mean There's gonna be such a good edit there. Mark: Ha ha ha. ⁓ that's yeah. Andy: Now one such Nuragi, ⁓ which is called Suduraxi Oiborumni, was named a UNESCO World Heritage Site in 1997. UNESCO, experts in heritage, calls it the finest and most complete example of this remarkable form of prehistoric architecture. Mark: Why do they have speech impediments, these people who work for UN UNESCO? Andy: Well that's the only ones who would give them a job. Jonathan Ross started there, you know. Mark: Yeah. Andy: while the original purpose of the Naragi remains a mystery, archaeologists have put forth various theories about it. And ⁓ they published this study in Open Archaeology, a magazine for archaeologists, I guess. ⁓ researchers laid out the most common explanation, ⁓ which of course includes the following. One popular theory. Claims that the Naragis were built as a means of defense from foreign attacks. Supporters point to the complexes within fortified walls and towers with slits that may have been used to throw spears or shoot arrows. ⁓ so they did have bows and arrows. However, some other researchers have argued, because they're better experts than what you are. That the Niragis, particularly the earlier corridor Naragis, would have been impractical and too small to hold a community seeking refuge against a military assault. So rather than fortresses, the structures may have acted as intimidating symbols to deter attacks. A bit of ⁓ a bit of face pulling, as it were. Most researchers Mark: I think they were just like a little ⁓ what do you call it, a community hall. They used to have a bit of dancing going on there on a Saturday night. Exactly. Yeah, dark corridor is perfect for watching a film. Andy: Yeah, they could have just shown they could have shown movies or something at the weekends. Well, yeah, you watch the film I'm just taking your daughter into the corridor, isn't it? Mark: And yet again you immediately fall into some I mean, it's just Andy: Most researchers do agree, however, that the nuragi's were used as lookout towers, which is more likely considering it's an island. And likely stored food or weapons. It's usually possible to see one Niragi from atop another, so they could have been a form of communication across the island as well. as watchtowers or even markers for the boundaries of a clan's territory. Because even on an island you're gonna have clans. Mark: When did the ⁓ Romans start raping and pillaging? Andy: Well what did they ever do for us? Mark: They must have started quite early. I don't I can't remember when the Roman Empire ⁓ not the Roman Empire, but when they started sort of going on little treks. 'Cause Sardinia Andy: Well I mean Look, I d I don't wanna get too messed up with dates because they all Mark: No, 'cause we're only talking about we're only talking about history. You don't want to get bogged down with dates with history, do you? Andy: Yes, and I and we're talking about a certain point in history in a certain place. I don't wanna discuss how it intersected with every other history. Mark: But that's what makes it interesting. Andy: We're going to talk about two other points in history already. Mark: All right. All right. All right. Go for it then. I thought you said the next one was a mystery, not a history. Andy: So Well it's a mystery with a history in history with mystery. So other historians believe that the Nurages were ordinary family houses. Artifacts found in lots of them, like pottery, grinding stones, small tools, animal bones, of course, and spindle walls, suggest that domestic activities took place inside the structures. They may also have been elite dwellings or meeting halls, as many of them were built in the centre of villages. Mark: I told you I told you it was a bloody village hall. Andy: ⁓ yeah, okay. There's a village hall. And that's probably where they kept their church boats. Mark: God, I'm I'm pretty good at this, I tell you. Andy: Another hypothesis suggests that they held religious significance and perhaps even served as temples, although there's absolutely no evidence to confirm that. But ceremonial objects have been discovered in some of them, but they may have been repurposed for ritual use long after the newragic civilization built the structures. In 2002, a study published in the journal for the history of astronomy. Uncovered potential astronomical links. The entrances to a number of neurogis seem to align with the sunrise on the winter solstice and the southernmost point of the moon's rise, which is a load of horoscope nonsense, as we all know. Mark: What do you mean newspapers ⁓ they have th do they still have horoscopes in the sun? Andy: I would have no idea 'cause I haven't read a physical copy of the Sun in thirty years. Mark: ⁓ that would be a good ⁓ what you could do is, just as a quick idea, you do this This Day in History thing, you could read out the funniest horoscope. Andy: that affects one in twelve of the live population of civilization ⁓ on the planet today. How accurate would that be? You're gonna have a shitty day. Mark: Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, absolutely. I would. And then we can compare notes, Andy. See if it came true. What are you? You must know your star sign. Andy: ⁓ Ram. Mark: What's that Aries? I'm Pisces, fishy. Andy: Yeah. Yeah, you're a fish. Mark: I would do that. In fact, what is it? Meg magic Meg or something? Mystic Meg, is she still around? Andy: Mystic. Highly unlikely unless you know any fucking mediums. Mark: ⁓ I see she's died, has she? Andy: Well, I would hope so. She was about eighty when I last saw the sun. Mark: When you last read your horoscope you were just about to say it. ⁓ Andy: When I last saw the sun Yeah I follow my horoscape religiously Do you know what? That's the quickest way to end any kind of bur ⁓ burgeoning relationship is just ⁓ if if a if a girl says What's our star sign? I mean ⁓ bye I just gotta go out for some cigarettes and milk. Mark: You know, when you talk about these things, Andy, the thing that jumps into my mind is when was it you had a burgeoning relationship last? It was probably back in the seventies. Andy: Well, I was never one for relationships. I was more your your one night stand Mark: No, clearly that's why Burgeoning relationship it's away. Andy: I'll have you know I've had more girlfriends than you've had at dinners, mate. Mark: I'm sure you have and ⁓ what's even more shocking is you're probably proud of it as well. Andy: Now, this tenuous horoscope fucking connection suggests that the Neuragi's may have been used by the neurogic civilization as a kind of calendar to determine when to plant crops, celebrate certain ceremonies, etc. But it's not likely. ⁓ they they try to attribute calendar and bollocks to Stonehenge as well. It's just nonsense. It's Mark: Well one thing they can do Andy: It's basically a lot of stones put together to stop you getting wet in the rain. Solved it. Mark: Yeah, maybe. It could have been covered in sort of ⁓ brush and things to keep it weatherproof, and all of that has disappeared just to leave the stones behind. Andy: Wouldn't have thought that was very necessary in Sardinia most of the year. Mark: ⁓ no. I've never been. It's one place I've always wanted to go actually, Sardinia. Andy: Despite the mysteries, however, they do provide an unparalleled look into the ancient history of the Mediterranean. The neuragic civilization that built them may be long gone, but the stone towers still stand today as iconic symbols of the islands of Sardinia. Mark: I think I'm another reason for me to go. Maybe this year could be the year I go to Sardinia. Andy: Well yeah, I'm I'm just wondering if we've ever insulted the Sardinian president. You'd have to worry about going in there. Mark: ⁓ No, Sardinia is part of Italy. Andy: Yes, but even worse, you don't you have you insulted the mafia lately? Mark: No, but you've got that pretty spicy ⁓ Prime Minister of Italy who stood up against Trump. Maloney or whatever her name is. Andy: ⁓ yeah, she's a bit saucy. No, that was that's his wife, isn't it? Mm Melanoma. Now we're gonna go to the history with the mystery. Mark: All right, I'm intrigued. Andy: And this is the eerie history of a place called Huska Castle, which is a gothic fortress, and it was built to seal a gateway to hell. Mark: Really. Andy: Hidden by thick forestry, Huska Castle is in Chechnya, and it's shrouded in nightmarish myth and occult legend. It was built atop a cliff in Prague's countryside, mysteriously isolated from all trade routes. It had no source of water or fortification, and some say it wasn't built to keep evil from entering, but to prevent it from getting out. Mark: Novel take. Andy: According to the castle's official website, it was built in the thirteenth century as an admin hub for the king, but Czech folklore maintains that the true purpose of its construction was to seal a gaping crack in the limestone, and locals believed that this was in fact a gateway to hell, from which demonic beings emerged to feed on villagers and drag them back into the abyss never. It's the right button. Mark: That's the wrong button, you idiot. No it's not, it was that you should have had the doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. Andy: Yeah, but you know, this is bollocks, isn't it? Mark: What do you mean you think this is bollocks compared to some of the stories you've had in the past? Andy: I mean that th the the episode we did for our Patreons on Wednesday after that Nothing. Mark: I would have thought you'd love a story about filling a crack. Andy: Now who's the fucking lowest common denominator? Now legend has it that prisoners who were facing the gallows were offered full pardons, but only if they agreed to be lowered into the bottomless hole and report on what they saw. Now this is where it gets interesting. Because the first man to do so was young and healthy, and he happily accepted. Within seconds, however, He cried to be raised up, and when he was pulled from the chasm his hair had turned white. Mark: What what had happened to him? That's more like it, thank you. Andy: Now we d doesn't tell you what happened to him because he was obviously insane as well. He was gibbering and crying and he'd wet his pants and he wrote into Reddit about how he'd shit himself in the abyss. Now the castle's eerie history doesn't stop there though. Nazi experiments took place within its walls during World War II. Some say the Wehrmacht occupied the castle precisely to investigate whether or not the gateway to hell was real, because they had plans. As feverish occultism ⁓ consumed its higher ranks, and they were looking to employ the devil to help them win their war. Today, Huska Castle remains, get this, this is original, one of the most haunted places on earth. Mark: We should start a list of the most haunted places on earth. Andy: I haven't got enough paper. Now, while Huska Castle obviously now welcomes countless tourists from around the world, the limestone cliff on which it sits has drawn people in since antiquity. Archaeological evidence shows Celtic tribes inhabited the land far before the Middle Ages, and Slavic tribes migrated to the region in the 6th century. Mark: Celtic is ⁓ British Isles. Andy: Yes, Scottish Welsh. Cute wearing sheep shaggers, don't you know? Mark: What were they doing there? Andy: ⁓ looking for sheep. I don't know. Mark: Right. Andy: So as Bohemian chronicler Vaklav Hayek detailed in his Czech chronicle in fifteen forty one, the first known structure at the site was a small wooden fort in the ninth century. Hayek also recounted local folklore that he described the emergence of a crack in the cliff, and it revealed a seemingly endless abyss that villagers deemed the entrance to hell. So this dates back to the ninth century. Locals were terrified of the half human hybrids that began to crawl out of this hole at night and tear livestock apart. Fearful of turning into these demons themselves, villagers avoided the rocky entrance. They tried to block it with stones, but the abyss allegedly gobbled up anything they dropped into it, refusing to be filled. King Ottica I of Bohemia had the Gothic structure built sometime between 1253 and 1278. Oddly, the original construction omitted stairs from the courtyard to the upper floors, and most of the structure's defences were built facing inwards. It was as if the purpose of the castle just wasn't to keep invaders out, but rather to keep something trapped within. And perhaps most notable of all, the king had the gateway to hell sealed with stone plates and had a chapel built above it. And the chapel was dedicated to the Archangel Michael, who led God's armies against Lucifer's fallen angels, leading some to believe that the gateway truly existed and still does. Mark: So so there's evidence of this crack under the castle, is there? Andy: Well, there's definitely evidence of a chapel built on top of it. By sixteen thirty nine, the castle was occupied occupied by a Swedish mercenary named Oronto. The black magic practitioner allegedly toiled nightly in his laboratory in an effort to create an elixir for eternal life. We call it Hembrent. And this instilled villagers with so much mortal fear that two local hunters assassinated him. ⁓ superstition, you see, a bit witch hunty. Despite Oronto's death, locals continued to avoid the area. Scholars have since discovered some cracks in Hayek's histories. And any evidence of Aronto's existence is actually rather dubious, so it may there may never have been a Swedish mercenary. But Huska Castle did trade hands between various nobles and aristocrats in later centuries. It was renovated in the 1580s, fell into disrepair by the 1700s, and was fully restored in 1823. A century later, Josef Simonek who was the president of Skoda, Auto, purchased the castle for himself. Thus cementing the gateway to hell rumour. Imagine. Who better to own the gateway to hell than the guy who drives the Skoda? Mark: what you're talking about. Skoda's a great company. Andy: In the nineteen forties, as I said, the Nazis took over the castle during the occupation of Czechoslovakia, though their reasons for doing so are unclear as the castle lacked any defences and were thirty miles away from Prague. According to Castles Today, popular publication, some believed they intend they needed to secure the thirteen thousand manuscript library of SS leader Heinrich Himmler. Who is obsessed with the occult and believed that its power would help the Nazis rule the world. Imagine going up to Hitler and using that as part of your C V and as a proposal. So what are your plans for this inversion exactly? Well, I intend to recruit the devil and several of his top fucking leaders. Mark: ⁓ well wasn't that Raiders of the Lost Ark? That's what he was up to there as well. Andy: Yeah, ⁓ but the thing is to be accepted as a a viable war option just Mark: As an occultist. Andy: Yeah, yes, this is a good idea. We will have the demons of hell on our side. Himmler alleglyd feared that his trove of blasphemous materials would be destroyed in the war, but it was something even more sinister. Locals at the time reported strange lights and horrifying sounds coming from the castle. Some people say that many top Nazi officials, including Himmler, attended dark ceremonies at Husker Castle, in which they attempted to harness the power. Power. Mark: And it's now a hotel and conference centre, I'm sure. Andy: Well, after the war, the Sumonek family regained ownership of the castle, and they still own it to this day. The castle has been open to the public since nineteen ninety-nine, and many visitors are baffled by its counterintuitive architecture and unnerved by the fresco paintings in the chapel. And the strangest of these paintings depicts a creature with the upper body of a human woman and the lower body Of a horse, or as we call it, a centaur. Mark: Yeah, that's not that unusual. Andy: No. Although it's usually a man who is a centaur, not a woman. Mark: They must have had men and women centaurs, otherwise they couldn't have made baby centaurs. Andy: I think the guy who did the f I think the guy who did the painting just wanted the boobies because centaurs are naturally topless. Mark: Well, they don't wear clothes, do they? Andy: I've never met one, so I don't know. Perhaps they do? While it was unheard of at the time to include depictions of pagan mythology in a church, even more staggering is the fact that the centaur is using its left hand to shoot an arrow. As we all know, left-handedness was associated with service to Satan. In the Middle Ages, yeah. If you were left they they would physically make you use your right hand, even in the nineteen sixties in my schools. Mark: Was it? Andy: They would force you to use your right hand if you were left handed. Yes. You were not it was it was the mark of the devil. Mark: No. In the sixties. I went to a bloody religious school, I don't remember that. Thou shalt not write with the left hand the left hand of the devil. God dear Andy: Thou shout wank with the left hand. Middle Ages historians believe that the painting is a hint to the creatures that live beneath the church. Indeed, to this day, visitors claim to hear screams and scratching noises from beneath the chapel floor. ⁓ I scared myself with that story. Anyway, now we're gonna move to Scotland by the way. Mark: ⁓ dear. Andy: And we're going to go to a little place called Calavarok Castle in Wales. Mark: Exactly. You you're getting confused. You need to get your jock accent out. Andy: Which it was built in the thirteenth century by the Clan Maxwell, and it's a striking triangular fortress on Scotland's Scotland's southern coast, which can still be visited today. Now you'll believe it or not, comparing the size of Scotland with the rest of the UK, there are more than two thousand castles scattered throughout Scotland. That's fucking incredible number. Mark: ⁓ well wasn't it because the bloody Vikings used to land in Scotland? Andy: Well no, but it was also to keep the English at bay, of course. Mark: I suppose. Yeah, you're right actually, yeah. Andy: And ⁓ not many have seen as much historic conflict as Kalavarok Castle, situated on the southern coast about seven miles from Dumfries. The thirteenth century monument withstood the wars of Scottish independence and its numerous sieges by the English Dirty English. The Kalavarok National Nietzsche Reserve that hosts the eponymous structure actually contained two castles. The older of the two structures, however, was rather misguidedly founded on land that was too soft to support it, so only the foundations remain. The castle still standing today was constructed nearby when someone realized what they'd done. ⁓ from King Edward I who besieged it with eighty seven knights and three thousand men. Mark: What are you waiting for a response? Eighty seven knights, three thousand men. Andy: Yeah. ⁓ yeah, fro so from King Edward I, he besieged it with eighty-seven knights and three thousand men, to the essential modern day nature reserve for birds that it is today. ⁓ the walls of the castle contain a wealth of fascinating history. I wish it was called something else other than Keravrock. It's common Britonic, an old Celtic language, spoken of the sixth century with the initial Ker meaning enclosed defensible site, and Lavarock assumed to have been a personal name. Ker Laverock And the Arthurian legend of Merlin was burst within the walls of an older castle that's only a stone's throwaway. As the story goes, King Gwenduliu I should have read this properly before I decided to do this. King Gwen Dolu Apsidio's death in five hundred seventy three AD led his bard Myrdenwilit to lose his mind and hermit himself away in the woods, with the name of Merdin evolving into Merlin over time. Kalavaruk's castle's history extends far beyond mere myth, however. It was in twelve twenty that Sir John de Macaswell, which later evolved to Maxwell, was granted the land by Alexander I of Scotland as newfound warden of the West March, and Maxwell began construction on a castle six hundred and fifty six feet from the structure seen today. The structural integrity of that castle failed, as we know, so Kilavalock Castle was built instead, where it still stands. In the 1260s, Sir John Maxwell's brother and heir, Sir Amer Maxwell, began construction, which concluded in the 1270s. It's actually still fairly well, quite a lot of it left. It's quite impressive. The Maxwell family's stronghold was first jeopardized in 1299 when the castle's garrison. Attacked the English held Loch Marbon Castle nearby. Retribution followed the very next year, with King Edward I marching to Kerlaverick with eighty-seven knights and three thousand men, led by Sir Eustace Maxwell, or useless Eustace, as Eddie used to jibe him. The defence was triumphant. To this day, historic environment Scotland creates reenactments of this siege, which ended with the English keeping the castle until thirteen twelve. Although it was returned to Sir Eustace Maxwell, another siege followed, and the castle continued to change hands from English to Scots and then back to the Maxwells. Until ultimately it survived the wars of Scottish independence and remained in the family well into the sixteen hundreds, and Kelavrock Castle had withstood four hundred years of warfare and countless sieges. In sixteen forty-three Robert Maxwell, no not that one, converted it into a place of lodging. Nonetheless, a rebel Presbyterian group of Scotsmen called Covenanteers besieged it. In sixteen forty the With the southern wall and the tower destroyed over the course of that thirteen week siege, Kelavarok Castle was abandoned and stripped of its valuables. Its partial destruction is still evident today, with any further bloodshed at the site fortunately having ended in the sixteen hundreds. Visiting the castle today presumably results in quiet reflection of the historical strife it weathered across the centuries, and while the fortress is currently closed for visitors, guests can still marvel at the remaining towers, walls and moat before wandering around the expansive reserve that the castle sits in. ⁓ we might as well do this. And now a word from our sponsors. Admission for adults is rather inexpensive at eight pounds fifty. Mark: What? What is this? Did you get this information out of a tourist guide or something? Well what are you paying for? Eight pounds fifty? Andy: Aside from yeah, you can only walk around the outside, but ⁓ it's actually quite impressive. But aside from everyday visitors, Calaverok Castle has been prominently used in feature films, most notably the David Tennant romantic comedy The Decoy Bright. Mark: I don't remember that one. ⁓ I thought you were gonna say a Sean Connery movie. Andy: You've definitely seen it because you love a romantic comedy. Mark: Of course I do. Who doesn't? What do you mean? Andy: Perhaps most notable is that the castle's triangular shape is unique in Britain, while the nature reserve offers fifteen habitats that include ancient woodlands, swamps, ponds, and untouched grasslands. The reserve sees the river Neath, connects with the Solway Firth, with sandbanks still the same as their thirteenth century counterparts. And for the wildlife, the Calaverock National Nature Reserve is one of only two homes in Great Britain for tadpole shrimp. Imagine With barnacle geese waddling around for three seasons of the year and Natterjack toads jumping around nearby, the site is a true haven for those seeking some solace with a dash of history, and also for witches who need to get some frogs, warts, eye of newt, etc. Mark: Are you reading this from a tourist guide? Andy: It feels like I am. I'm giving up slowly inside, I'm dying. Fortunately, the site has been listed as his as an historic landmark ⁓ since nineteen forty six and thus is finally protected for good. As is my sanity because that brings us to the end of this episode of Strange Stuff Podcast with a bit of history and a bit of mystery. Mark: No No, but you haven't told us No, you haven't told us if there's picnic facilities and ⁓ d toilets for the disabled. Come on, you gotta do Andy: There is disabled parking. Ha ha. I was looking I was looking specifically for ⁓ Basically the middle one, the demonic gate to hellguards kind of stories, but ⁓ very really hard to find. that's why I thought we'd do a bit of history and a bit of mystery. Mark: Clearly. Yeah, it was a good combo. The first two stories were quite interesting and the third was just a ridiculous promotion. Exactly. Do do we have to include ⁓ paid promotions included in this episode or something? Apart from the fact they're not paid, of course. Exactly. ⁓ dear. Andy: Yeah, trust Scotland to let us down at the end. Thanks, Scotland. Yeah. Beware the adverts. Anyway, hope you enjoyed that tour of Sardinia, Prague and the other place, Scotland. Yeah, I I actually fancy the the Prague Gate to Hell. Mark: Yeah, Scotland. Yeah. I'm off to Sardinia, I've decided. Yeah, well you would. Well that's the difference between us. I want to go to a island paradise with clear blue waters and a bit of history, and you want to go to some gateway to hell. Andy: Yes, with a VIP badge. Anyway, thanks for listening. Hope you all enjoyed it. I hope I I'm I'm still sad for the people who aren't Patreons that they missed our Wednesday episode. Because that was fabulous. Mark: Yep. ⁓ What was that was the Reddit one, wasn't it? Andy: That was the crap. The episode is called Crap and it's not. It's really good. But anyway, it might get released as a freebie at some point because I feel yeah, I feel I feel that deserves a little wider audience. Or alternatively, you could become a Patreon and listen to it for yourself. That would be wonderful. Anyway, have yourselves a great week. In the meantime, don't do anything we wouldn't do. Mark: I think you need to give that out as a little present as Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yes. Yeah. Andy: Don't enter the gates of hell through a castle in Prague or Czechoslovakia or anywhere else. do go to Scotland and pay just eight pounds fifty to have a little walk around Kerlavarok Castle and also the other one, Sardinia. Go there. Bye for now. Mark: Jury out.