Latest / Dope Discussion With Normthegreat1 🔥 / How to Avoid Password and Memory Pitfalls

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How to Avoid Password and Memory Pitfalls · Dope Discussion With Normthegreat1 🔥

• Mr Normthegreat1: Welcome to Dope Discussions, where faith isn't quiet and truth isn't comfortable. We're having the conversations most people avoid about purpose, pain, leadership, relationships, identity, and the real walk with God. No pretending, no performance, no watered-down gospel, just raw growth, real convictions, and kingdom conversations. And kingdom conversations that challenge you to become who God called you to be. And now here's your host, Norm the Great One. Yeah, what up, what up, what up, what up, man. You already know who it is. It's the great one. We back in the building. Yes, Lord, we back in the building. Another day, another opportunity, man. You know that's how we start every day by giving thanks to the most high God for all his many blessings that he stores upon us, man. And like I always say, man, one of the biggest blessings of them all, man, is to Be back behind the mic one more time, man, 'cause that was a blessing, man. Just to see another day, man. I I don't take none of this for granted because you never know, man, you know. A lot of time you look around on social media, all the different things. A lot of people are dying, leaving there, you know. Not trying to make this a a show to talk about death and all that, but it's talking about the reality of life, man, you know. Because oftentimes we get caught up in life and what we don't have and the unfortunate circumstances of life and all that good all that good stuff and And we just tend to focus on what we don't have and what ain't happening fast enough instead of focus on the things that we do have and the things that we are grateful for, because much is given, much is required. You know what I'm saying? Because oftentimes we wanna overlook the things that we do have to complain about the things we don't. And me personally, I I remember when I was younger, ⁓ my mom used to tell me, like if you have a party, a celebration, a cookout, anything you have. Don't overlook the people that showed up to support you. Celebrate with the people that was there because the people was there is the people that's meant to be. Cause like I said, oftentimes we overlook them thanks to look at who didn't show up or why such and such ain't game. It don't matter why they didn't came. Give thanks for the people that did showed up. You know what I'm saying? I don't know where that story came from, but that just dropped in my spirit. But man, you know what I'm saying? We got another show lined up for you, man. ⁓ it's gonna be a decent show and we're gon' get this thing started. I don't know where that intro came from, but hey, it is what it is, man. ⁓ yeah, man, I hope y'all had a good weekend, all that good stuff, man. It was Father's Day weekend. ⁓ once again, happy belated Father's Day to all the fathers, you know. ⁓ hopefully the father got a little recognition and, you know, got something more than a tie and all that other good stuff, man. You know, if you got a meal and got up there and was able to enjoy yourself and all that. You know, just a little day, you know. Commend to all the fathers, you know, stepfathers, grandfathers, you know. And you don't have to have a biological kid to be a father, you know. You step in and help, uncle, all that good stuff is appreciated, man. ⁓ I think we need to celebrate each other more often, man. You don't have to wait to certain days. Celebrate people and let's know how grateful you are for them, man, you know? And yeah, man, I had a good weekend, man. So I had a good weekend. I went out to an event, man. ⁓ my first time, I'm thinking my life ever being to attract meat man it was a beautiful time man you know in all the mix of that man I like how it wasn't like excuse me it wasn't like it was like younger kids up into high school man and just to see the younger kids compete and compete with the with that spirit of not giving up man and just to see even the last kid people clapping and celebrating and Because, you know, they like the younger kids, like five, six and up, man, you know. But they even though they were last, you know, some people were disappointed, they didn't beat their time, some of the older kids. But the encouragement and the support that the kids have was just beautiful, man. You know what I'm saying? Just to see that. Because, you know, sometimes you go to these events with kids for kids and stuff, and you just see the parents and the people just arguing and and just do this stuff. But it wasn't none of that. It was celebration, man. And not only that, man, you know, I wanna. point out something that I observed, man, to see a lot of fathers in the building, man, taking time out with their kids and celebrating their kids and even when the kids didn't do as good as they thought, still encouraging them comfortable. I didn't like I said, I didn't witness nothing where somebody was just rah rah rah all that on a kid. But I mean just to see the love and, you know, to be with your kid in that moment, even when they didn't do as good as they thought they would have, just to see the father consoling their kids and encouraging them, man, you know, hey You know, you didn't get your number or whatever the case may be. You might got second or third, but you was right. And you know, just to see that love and compassion, man, you know, it it just like, you know, put a warmth in my heart, man, like a different feeling because, you know, we get so much of bad reps of people not being there for their kids, man. And I think that that on the break of Father's Day, man, was just a beautiful thing to see, man. Like the excitement of fathers. To see their kids crossing that line and even if they last, or I mean, you got little kids four and five. I mean, just trotting out there, just enjoying it, getting their feet out there doing things. And that's also another thing, man, to see kids in a positive perspective doing things. I mean, it was a little hot, but they still was out there doing things, man. It just me give you like a lot of hope to look forward to, man, and things to see. Like I said, that was my first one, man. And I think at first of many, man. I think I mean It was a good time, man. Honestly, man. I enjoyed myself. Yeah, so I had a decent weekend. You know, my father was pretty cool. Ain't did too much of nothing. But you know, it was all love. Got a lot of love and support and all that. So I'm grateful, man. ⁓ like I said, man, I hope y'all had a good weekend. And, you know, we'll be here to do get you over the hump, man. That's what we're gonna do. But you know, the first part of my week, the full falls pretty pretty good, man. You know, it was all good. Supposed to have some good rainy days and all that, but you know, we're gonna get you over the hump to the weekend, and that's what we're gonna do. But yo, I had ⁓ I wouldn't even s know what to call it that I had this weekend. ⁓ I had a moment where I went blank like I think it was like it wasn't a weekend, it was like ⁓ Friday morning or something, man. I don't know what happened even up until now. So I got like two phones and I ⁓ and I had like the passcodes and stuff because I got my bank information and stuff on there. And I woke up Friday morning and for the life of me, yo, I could not remember them passcodes on two phones. The passcode, I could not remember that joint. I'm telling you, man, I'm just and if you know anybody, I'm telling you right now, anybody that have Apple or I don't care if you got an Android. Maybe you're good at memorizing stuff. I'm not too tough from time to time. Write them things down accurate. And let me tell you, I could not remember the passcodes on them phone to save my life, yo. I spent the whole day and if you know Anything you try to put a code in from time to time and over time you're gonna get locked out. So I was getting locked out five minutes, then it said seven minutes, then it said twenty minutes. Next thing I was up to three hours, then I was up to four hours. I got so frustrated, so I was like, yo, I don't know. But the issue that I have, and I take accountability a hundred percent for this, you know. I was frustrated, but you know I had to I'll get to that. But I had to take accountability for, you know. always playing around because you know you have to have an apple ID just like your email password to get it to your Gmail you need that for your Apple account but you know for me I don't do password what I do instead of write writing a solid password down and remembering it writing it down so in your notes or something what I would do taking accountability every time they would go and I need to do something to get them my Apple ID to purchase something or approve something whatever I would hit forget password and make up a quick one. Just to move forward. Just keep trying to move forward. Keep trying to move forward. But like my mom or anyone would say, eventually that stuff will catch up with you. So I believe that Friday, even though granted, I went blank and I forgot my password. I don't know how I did it. I use these phones every day. So I couldn't do it. So I what I had to do is wipe both of the phones clear. Like have back. Well, make sure it was sure for sure. I thought it I hope it was backed up. So With that being said, you backed it up and it was backed up. I believe so. And you had to take the phone to Apple and they just wipe it. They wiped it. And when they wiped the phone, my issue came in even worse because I didn't remember my Apple ID. I don't have a MacBook, an iPad, or anything above. So I had to keep playing with that. And they told me at at first it was gonna be 24 hours or whatever. So Twenty-four hours went by, I'm excited, you know, my sister got an iPhone, so I done sent her information or whatever, like, okay, I'm about to get my stuff back, right? So, you know, try that, I tried somebody MacBook. Anyway, you know, the frustration kicking in now because, you know, for our phones, everything's in there. So I'm like frustrated now. I'm on the MacBook, it's not working. So I I'm talking to Apple and they telling me, and this is the time where my accountability have to kick in even more. Because I'm on the phone with the people and being at my job, I deliver things and I deal with customer service. I had to, I hear myself like sometimes you can hear yourself just going off and going on. And I had to correct myself and I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up. Let's take a step back. All these people are doing is their job. Their policy are above their head. You are here because you didn't do something that you supposed to do. Because if I had did what I supposed to do, took my time, did the password correct, write it down somewhere. If you don't remember, you wouldn't be in these situations. So I had to apologize and let and they say that's their their system, you know. So now it went from 24 hours to three days. So now it's like, okay, I have to wait three days. And I was hot. But you know what? I had to take accountability and eat that because of my negligence and not slowing down. And getting your password together or writing it in a notebook where I do my schoolwork and stuff in and put it up that you know you write a solid password that you remember and all that, and write it down, you wouldn't have this issue. But no, I want to be in the rush and speed passing. ⁓ well, I could just make up something just to get by. But it will come back to you. Like I went through that store to let you know, man. Anything you doing just to get by, it will catch up with you, man. It will catch up with you. So Whatever it is, man, take your time, do it right the first time and be done with it, man. I learned a valuable lesson with that. I got all my password for all my stuff. I got it written down on a couple notebooks here. I mean, I just got it right written down because I know I'm not good with that type of stuff. Cause I'll and people always be like they try to make their password one thing. Man, I can make all my password one thing and still for somehow or another it don't connect right. So for me, it was a lesson. It was a humbling lesson. It was a unfortunate lesson because I was sitting there with a phone with no contact. I haven't I had nothing in my phone. Like people saying Happy Father's Day, all that stuff. I had to try to think, is this a male or a female? Because if I was to say, same that you are likewise, and I might be a woman, it could be like, you trying to say I'm a man or something, you know what I'm saying? So that's was the little thing. I had to laugh at it to keep from, you know, kicking myself in the butt because it's my choices. Choice and decisions that I made, you know. So I can't blame nobody else. And that's their policy. And you know, like I said, to get back to that, I had to apologize to myself, I mean, to that lady and to myself, you know, and even in the chat, like, you know what? You're right. This is your job. Or you don't create the rules, you don't do XYZ, but I had to handle my business, you know what I'm saying? And be better at that. So I went and ⁓ wiped out the Android, wiped it out, wipe it out. ⁓ and then once I wiped the Android out, it was pretty cool. And pretty easy to get back into. So I set that back up with no time. You know what I'm saying? That was easy. Set that up, write that down, got that done, and move forward. It was like back up and running like nothing happened. But that apple, oooo. So for me to you and anybody that got apple, please write down your Apple ID and remember that stuff. Because if something happened and you gotta wipe that phone. And bring it back up, it's gonna be a process. I'm just letting you know, it's gonna be a process. And if you don't do it the right time or do it, it's gonna be a it's gonna be a long process. Unfortunate. But I mean, like I said, it got through with it. You know, I always try to find the message and everything. And that's about life and growth and understanding, man. And the mix of all this you wanna. Tell somebody off or this ain't fair or blah blah blah, but you have to go back and look at it. I'm here because I didn't did something that I supposed to do. No matter how fair it is, because we want everything to be convenient at the time, we want to have access to the things that we want to have access to. But to have access to the things that you have access to, you have to do what you're supposed to do. So if you take a passcode or whatever it is, That's your job, that's your obligation to have all that together to have it, you know, right, written down, written down, or in a safe place so you can go back to it and type it in or have good memory. I'm not good with that stuff, but if you are, God bless you. But like I said, that's ⁓ a humbling experience for myself. And I look at it as time to slow down, handle your business, and it's okay. And that's why I learned about that's what I learned about that situation because could have been avoided, yes. But I learned. I absolutely learned, man. You know, and I'm grateful for that, man, because like I said, oftentimes we get ourselves in situations in life and then we want to get down to where we at now. Like we we we we nobody wanna be uncomfortable. So I you don't want to be uncomfortable. So the to try to get out of the uncomfortableness, you try anything. fast track anything. We want that fast track. We'll try to fast track ourselves into all type of things because we don't want to be uncomfortable. I think we living in a time where being uncomfortable, man, you know, nobody trying to hear that. You know, we just want to be comfortable and kick back with nothing going wrong. You know, some people when the wind starts to blow a little bit, you hear them go off, man. I can't do nothing right. It's always one thing. I take one foot forward and it's a hundred step backwards. I just I I just don't understand. I mean, that's how the ball bounced sometimes, man. Favor ain't fair. Blessings ain't fair. That's just life, man. You know, and the more you live and the more you live with an open mind to understand things, we always look back to, you know what? Not all the time. Sometimes things happen out of your control. I I I I totally agree with that. But also times, when also times you can look back at your life and say, you know what? I mean, if you're honest with yourself, because it comes a time in your life where you gotta sit back and be honest with yourself. You can sit back and say, you know what? I could've done something better at this point right here. At point B. Before I went to C, I could have did that better. And because I made that decision at point B, everything else went out of whack after that. See, sometimes you gotta sit back and trace back and look back at where you went wrong or where you could have did something. See, oftentimes people don't wanna go back. I always believe that you have to go back to come forward because if you don't go back to come forward, if you pick it up from today and try to do different to be better, yeah, you can be better. But you're doing you're doing better today and you're moving today, but you're not looking back to correct from back then what have I learned to be better and stay consistent with today? You can say starting the day, I'm gonna do X, Y, Z. But you still have to look at how did I get here? Not to beat yourself up, but to take accountability and think like, you know what? That's where y'all started right there. Why did I make that decision and how did I end up in that spot with that situation, that relationship, that whatever? What did I needed or whatever the case may be that got me here? And I can look at the growth and get better from that and say, you know what? I see that. That was all on me. I gotta eat that. I gotta take that. Because I made that decision. And at the end of the day, you have to eat that and you get better. And that's all it's about, man. You know, that's all it's about. Taking accountability, man. You know? That's all it's about. Taking accountability. growth and moving forward, man. You know what I'm saying? Because at the end of the day, that's what it's about. I ⁓ I often have conversations with people and people always talk about relationships and how relationships played out and how somebody duked them or how somebody was a wolf in sheep closing and all that or whatever the case may be. But my question always be like, honestly, like did they really duke you? Now let's be real. We're having a grown folks conversation right quick. Did that person really duke you? Because oftentimes when it comes to relationships and things, oftentimes two people get together and they start hanging out and they don't establish or say nothing. They start hanging out and they just start hanging out and liking each other and start hanging out and then next thing you know they hunching. And now they hunching and somebody taking that as we're in a relationship and we supposed to be committed because I gave you my body or whatever the case may be. Now, two things can be true. But my thing is as a grown adult, have that conversation to get clarity on what is what before you open up your body to somebody. Because oftentimes the conversation comes way later than what it's supposed to. Put the conversation first, not the sex, put the conversation first in the understanding that we're together, we're committed, we're gonna. have intimate moments and we're just gonna be with each other. Now, if somebody agreed to be with somebody exclusively and just with them, then you oughta honor that. Now, folks would say, well if I give you my body, whatever the case may be, blahzy blah, that means we together. That don't mean a hill of beans. Because people sleep together all the time and they ain't together. You know? People sleep together all the time and not in relationships. Somebody asked me, well, a woman asked me, she said, I'm trying to remember exactly how she said it. She said, Why do guys sleep with women that they don't like or don't intend to marry? And I say, you know what? That's a good question. And that can go for both sides. My thing is, if your desire is to be married, correct? Then that should be a conversation off the back. Because someone sleeping with you, you have to give them access to you. Nobody can just take anything from you. And we don't support that type of activity over here. Cause that's dead wrong. We don't no, no, no, no. No. No is no. But if you're a concerned adult and you sleep with somebody, you should have conversations before you give up the precious part of yourself about what you looking for and what you want. Because you can't sit there and tell me you looking for a relationship in marriage or a family, whatever the case may be, but you're just hunching and you made somebody comfortable with just Hitting you up when they want to do something or or just hang out and just, you know, avoid a commitment. So at the end of the day, the question, the answer to her question is sex for male and females, and it's all my perspective, I can be wrong. Hey, you know the email, hit me up if you disagree, 843. Nome the great 843 at gmail.com. If you disagree, holla at me. That's fine. We can talk about it. Let's be real. We can have a transparent moment, man, you know? We just sitting around the table just shooting the breeze, you know? Nobody know. We just in there shooting the breeze. Just chill off. We haven't a conversation right quick. So, let's be real. Most men, most men, well, I ain't gonna say most. A good percentage of men will sleep with anybody. Long as somebody willing to sleep with them, they're gonna sleep with them. And that's how that works. Liking and all that, because when you say you shouldn't sleep with somebody that you don't like, I don't think most people when it comes to Getting their rocks off and feeling good. I don't think they're sitting there saying, if I like this person, they want to like how that person make them feel in that moment. So if they like them now, they can think about that when they're putting their clothes on and leaving and getting down the road. I can't stand. So it's a, but I like how they make me feel. So at the end of the day, when you're saying that, how can a guy sleep with somebody that they don't like? I have to propose a question. I know a quit answer a question can't answer a question. But my question, how can somebody give their body to somebody they don't like them? But my thing is, I don't think that has nothing to do with that. And then she said, how can your man sleep with somebody that he don't want to marry or see long term? But he might not have long-term visions for her. But if she got long-term goals of thought, then she shouldn't even deal with that person. Because like I said, communication should be everything. And let's be clear, most men, if they get an opportunity to score, they're gonna score. So you can't sit there because it's two different things. For male and females, well, suppose well, sometimes it would. Now, time's different now. I mean, women out here acting like men and doing different things now. But I'm just saying, under normal circumstances, it's two different things. Now, sex for women might be like, ⁓ I really like him and I wanna give him part of me and I feel safe with him and I wanna this, that, and the third. That can be their thing. But this dude might just be out there like a ravaging dog and heat. He just wanna cut across something or whatever the case may be. So at that time, you got two people with two different things. But they entering something that gonna cause an issue that just back to like my issue with that password. Without that communication, you're gonna have that same issue like that password and be locked up. Because what's gonna happen over time, that person that wanted more gonna feel like they're just being used and played with. But in all actuality, they put themselves in that situation because you know somebody don't want what you want. Because If they want what you want, it should start aligning. You should have date with attention and deal with people with intentions. Because if your intention is to be a wife or a husband or whatever, and you're just out there giving your body and just doing this and going with the flow, anything that go with the flow gets sweeped with the floor and go in the trash. So at the end of the day, if you just flew with the floor, F L O O R, you get sweep with throwing the trash. If you're going with the flow with the river, you're gonna flow right on out downstream and just keep on flowing. You should put a s put a stop right there. Ho, where is this going? What you wanna do with me and what we're gonna do because I am dating with attention. I wanna be married, I wanna be in a committed relationship, working towards marriage. What's your view on marriage? How do you see marriage? Do you see marriage in your future? Do you see yourself marrying me? Could you see me as your wife? You see me as your husband? Because if not, we just in here hunching and wasting time and we're just gonna do that. And that's all it's gonna be because I allow myself. Knowing what I want to do, but the fact that I didn't want to ask questions or come off as a nag or rile you up, I'm not gonna ask that. But I know every time we get together and do what we do, I feel like I'm used. I have to feel like I'm I'm not getting nothing out of this and it's just like a I'm just like a piece of meat. But you have to take accountability. I put myself in that situation. But because you put yourself in that situation, You can stop that situation too. You can stop that situation. I truly believe, yes, somebody can duke somebody in the beginning, but with communication and hanging out and being around somebody, you have to have discernment to understand that person is not what they portrayed to be. And if you stop and pay attention and and and and look at the signs and stop getting the googly eyes and getting in the bedroom and hunching and all that. You can see who a person is. Before oftentimes sex comes into play, and once sex comes to play, it starts to crop your mind get cloudy and your judgment start to look different because you then got dematized and then got flipped and bent and turned and got turned everywhere but loose. Now you feeling all type of feeling that you ain't never had before, all because of that act. But that's a that's that door for me and that's that hit. that's gonna keep you high for a second. But when you come back down to reality and you're sitting there in the mix of your mind and that mind started to run on a hamster wheel and you start to think about the situation, now you feelin' some type of way. Now you feelin' used. Or when y'all just out there just hanging out, you know, this hook up culture where everybody just, you know, just kicking it, you know, we ain't gotta we ain't gotta have no commitment. We just having a good time. You know, how do they used to do popping your fingers and We just getting drunk texting and hicking up and just hooking up my man that's not my man. You know how that thing goes these days, because they celebrated, you know, sleeping with people or being around people that no relationship, no ties, no nothing. Then when somebody gets pregnant or something happened or they see him with somebody else, now you wanna act a fool and fight, knowing what you signed up for, what it was. Take time to get to know people and keep your clothes on. Stop inviting people to your house. Stop going to motel, stop going out of town. You go to a coffee shop, you go to a restaurant, you can meet there. You don't have to go to nobody else. No nightcap. Yeah, there ain't no nightcap or none of that. You go to a restaurant, you meet, have a nice dinner, have conversation and stuff like that, and you fine. I'll meet at the park, ⁓ you know, in the daytime. You don't gotta go out at night. You can go out in the daytime, have a nice little lunch or something, have some conversation and get some understanding. But you have to s we have to get to a place where you stop all that. Somebody do. Me. I thought it was this, you know good and dang well that's not what it was. You was over there texting all them nasty stuff and video chatting all them nasty stuff and you've been talking about I can't, I just can't, I just can't imagine your hands on my body and all this other stuff, and then they just to text each other, man. You looking good, sending pictures, all that crazy stuff. But then all this going on, but then gonna come out and say they duke you. No, no, no, they ain't nobody duke you. That's what you know you've been signing up for. That's what you know you've been into. But then once you get your feelings involved and now you're done spending more time and you start to ⁓ get more time and time with that person, now you wanna blow the whistle. I need more. I feel like ⁓ I need I need more. And I I thought that this was gonna be something else because I mean, I know even nine months. I just thought that, you know, we'd have been on progress some more. Now breast's gonna tell you, Brett's gonna say, no, I ain't looking for no relationship, huh? But see, that's the thing that gets me. You know, people say, I ain't looking for no relationship, but they doing everything relationship people do. But I don't want no relationship. But you want the relations, but not the ship. So you're giving people access to you, one of your precious things that you have. You give people access to that like it's nothing. Like it's nothing. And then for them to say, I I don't, I don't, I ain't want no relationship. Nah. I I I ain't looking for nothing serious. So what you just been doing, my boy? The other day, last night it was that ain't serious? So you just do recreational stuff. And that's where the issue coming at. Because all this hooking up and hanging out and all that nonsense, without all this conversation, people then know somebody listening right now. We had all the conversation. He tell his hopes and dreams. The Bible say test test the spirit. Test the spirit. Did you test the spirit? What did his fruit look like? Did he live like he was saying? Where did it how did he back up what he said? How did she back up what they said? See, we wanna say, ⁓ they tell me all this. Well, how did how did it how did they back it up? What in their life, you've been around them enough, that like I say, if you stay from just meeting the hookup and hunch and and examine that person, talk to them about something besides what's your favorite style and will you like to do have a d a decent conversation to get to know somebody, you know? But they ain't wanna do that, you know? You won't let your flesh kick in, and then you and then you out there talking about nonsense, and then now you don't put yourself in a bad situation. John 1 John 4, 1 John chapter 4, verse 1. Believe not every spirit, but try the spirit. Whether they're good, whether they're of God, because many false prophets are going into this world. Once again, beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirit, whether they are of God, because many false prophets. Are gone out into this world. And it's just not about false prophet. There's a lot of people seeking to devour you and they're trying to devour you and trip you up and try to say everything that you want to say that you want to hear to get where they gotta get to. But you have to be smarter and better than that. Because if somebody's saying that they want a relationship, they want to be married, what are they doing to work towards that? What have they see because my thing is, my question always is, and people always get mad at this and my past is my past. And I hear people say this all the time and I see why they be in the situation now. What somebody did before me don't matter because long as that was before me, no, the devil is a liar. The devil is a liar. Because uh-uh, water seat to his own level. I need to know. I got a CDL and anytime you follow the job, they ask you for your 10-year motor vehicle record. And I'd like to know what happened in your last relationship or why you ain't there or what you thought you could do better. Because that right there started to tell you the mindset of people and how they've relationship. And then the last calendar years, how much relationships you've been in. These are questions that you can ask people because you're investing your life in the and these days of time, your health, because a lot of people carrying some things that, you know, hey, hey, it is way, hey man. But like I said, that's your life. You have a right to ask questions. Hey man. Say man, you you say you a you say you've been ⁓ you've been single for a few years, but you say you've been doing a little something something a few months ago. So if if if you've been single for a few years, so you be mixing up without her so you got people on standby, you just call when you want to mix up. Okay. Take my notes, get my notepad, okay. You know, don't need relationship to have relations. Red flag, red flag, red flag. Okay. Mm-hmm. Like doing relationship things without relationship? Red flag, red flag. Take your notes and okay, take inventory. Because you have to protect yourself and do what's best for you. Oftentimes people go into things, want to feel bad for a person. Hey, listen, I got empathy, I got all that. I understand that stuff. But you are an adult and you are responsible for your life. The decisions that you made, the people that you decide to be with, lay with, have kids with, marry. Them are choices that you made. Choices that you made. I've been married. I'm divorced. Choices that I made. And another thing, oftentimes people try to make somebody feel bad because that's not your speed or like mate. Like I said, for me, I'm divorced. You know what I'm saying? And if somebody out there right now that said, ⁓ no, I'm I don't want to be with nobody that's divorced or they've been married before, that's understandable. I I can respect that. Hey, I respect that. Why why why why am I mad at their requirements? That's their requirements. That's their standard. That's what they're looking for. Kudos to you. No love lost. I understand. And oftentimes people tend to bend them standard when they get to certain things, but you have to stand on it because if that's what you believe, stand on it. Because the minute you start to go against what you believe and what you're standing on, it's gonna cost you. Why are you bending? Either they meet it or they don't. Oftentimes people go out there and say, I want no man to smoke and I don't want no man to drink no booze or no man to be at the nightclub all night. And they'll meet a man. ⁓ I like him, man. He's a good guy, but he smoked. Well, he's a good guy, but that don't mean he's a good guy for you because you said you don't want a guy that smoke. So you're starting to walk back on yourself. So that's one right there you're already doing. ⁓ he hangs out from time to time, but he don't hang out like that. See, that's two things right there that you know you can't deal with, but you would take on this person and be with them and blame them. You see what I'm saying? Like this is stuff that people do. But they blame other people. He tells me he's gonna stop smoking. ⁓ he said he don't hang out as much. Well, you said that ain't the type of person you want. So why are you even entertaining that? We just can be friends. See that right there get a lot of people in trouble too. If somebody is not for you and it's not what you want, and you look in the date with intention to be married or whatever, why entertain something that's not for you? You don't need a friend. What a friend we have in Jesus. All our sins and grief to bear. That's the only friend I need. And I'm not saying you can't be a friend with somebody, but why? If the att you know the attraction there and you know that can be a distraction because you know you that goes against your list, but you still attracted. If you hang around there too long, you're gonna flip and you're gonna fall into that into something that you know you don't want. So why no no, I I appreciate that, but no We don't need to be friends. We don't need to be social media friends. We don't need to change no numbers. I thank you for everything, but no, I appreciate that. And that's okay. But oftentimes people water it down, you know, he's still a good guy. He could be good. He can be good for somebody else too. But you ha it's not about being nasty and not saying you judgmental overlooking. But people act like it ain't your life. Like it ain't your life. I don't get it. Like people would feel bad for some well, you know that okay, I understand that. I understand that. ⁓ well You know, people be done then they got these con people that they come and con you they've been a tell you about their whole life and they did wrong and and they ain't never had nobody that loved them and and and and and and and all this other stuff and but you know, ⁓ they just looking for a good woman or ⁓ or a good man because everybody just did them so wrong. The mama walked out on ⁓ the daddy did ⁓ wrong. And every relationship they've been in Everybody cheat on them and it's just so horrible. And they're really a good person and they don't cheat and they don't lie. You better turn into no laws and go the other way and break count. Because if everybody do and that's the thing, you could be a good person, but are you as good as you're claiming? And a lot of times I always say this man that before you get to relationships and stuff, do the work for the love of God. Do the work on yourself. You know you still carrying things from childhood or relationship or something that didn't work, or you still feel in some type of way for somebody. Don't bring nobody into a stuff. You know what I'm saying? Everybody ain't gonna have it a hundred percent. But try to get rid of some stuff for less baggage you carry into your next relationship because nobody wanna deal with baggage and spend the first year and a half, two years unbagging your nonsense, your mood swings, and your Be able to walk away because you so used to walking away because you ain't never been in no committed relationship like that. You just be hooked up and you can do what you want. But then you know I put some structure and standard on you. Now you're just ready to sit a hell with it and walk away. No, don't bring that into somebody's life. Go do the work. You you need to be honest with yourself. You know you need work. You got work that you need to be done on yourself. Go deal with that. Nobody else should have to deal with that. And like I said, nobody's perfect. I'm telling you, you you got things, you know, you're not gonna be able to come in there and say you unpack everything. And be honest with people, man. Folks will try to spin you around on stuff that they know they're dealing with and lie and hide. And then once you done get to a place to where you're about to give up and be like, I'm good on this. Now they want to have a heart-to-heart conversation and talk to you about all this and the reason why I do X, Y, Z. But when I ask you that at the beginning, why you just ain't said that? Because people are selfish. They'll feel like. Well if I say that I feel like you wouldn't want to be with me. Well you try to take the choice away from me from if I want to deal with you. Now I feel like you manipulate this whole situation. Be honest. Yeah, I got my gossip things I'm dealing with. Once you see something getting to the next level, and that's somebody you want to be with and they invested in you. Be honest. Hey man, you know, ⁓ yeah, I ⁓ I might have a little trust issues. I I done been through some things and I I I I haven't some issues with. With you know, trust or or or I got walls up or I don't I don't like certain things or whatever the case may be and this make me shut down or whatever the case may be. Have that conversation. Have that conversation. There's nothing wrong with having that conversation. Have that conversation. And then if somebody wanna deal with you, they deal with you. If they don't, that's their right. But you can say you spoke your truth to the fact and the tunes of them just being there. You know what I'm saying? Because at the end of the day, that's what it's about. So they can't say you did not give them the opportunity and you didn't tell the truth. Because at the end of the day, that's what it's about. Transparency. Being open and letting them know, hey man, this is what it is. You know, I'm trying to see if we you know, this progressing and I wanna take it to the next level. But you mind if we take the slow or whatever the case may be, because you know, I wanna you know, us to work at a pace and where we growing and getting this thing together on one accord and yeah, I got a little issues and stuff that I dealt with and I've been doing the work. I've been going to counseling, I've been doing the work. I feel like I'm in a good place to date and you know, I just need to I just want you to know that that, you know, that I wanna just, you know, take my time with this, you know what I'm saying? And that's what it is. Because having that conversation change a lot, you know. Then you give a person The opportunity. Like I said, everybody don't have the capacity to deal with certain things in relationship or whatever. So you just have to have the conversation and be open, you know? And that's what it's about, you know, transparency. You mean so many times right now in dating and stuff, everybody just trying to be the one to get over on somebody. Everybody wanna get over. You know, everybody wanna see. If they they got so many things and you go on YouTube or TikTok or anywhere. There's so many gurus and people telling you if they don't call in this much a time or if they can go this time without talking, they don't care about you. And you just got people all messed up and crazy out there thinking all type of foolishness and keeping you separated and single. You have to be mindful who you listen to and what you take in. Sometimes when you're trying to get yourself at that place to be that man or be that woman, you have to disconnect from a lot of things and go do the work that you know you need to do. And put yourself in the best situation to be the best you. So when that person comes, you heal, you got some things you working through, but for the most part, you done did everything you supposed to do. And you feel comfortable moving forward with somebody and you ain't got no hindrance like that. That's a beautiful thing. You coming in there with a clean sleigh. You ain't got all these bricks on your plate and you ain't hiding behind not and you really to have the conversation, the difficult conversation, and be open and honest. That's the place we need to be at. Not shucking and jiving and hiding this and and making stuff up. You don't want to be there because at the end of the day, that ain't nothing but a dead end road that will come right back. And then we've got another broken relationship and another 'cause most toxic relationships, they get by f four, five years. They last because both people trauma bond and they're toxic and and then soon the relationship over, you hear the other one. ⁓ he's a narcissic. ⁓ he's a narcissic. He got narcissistic. He got narciss traits and he he toxic and he controlled, he this, that, and the third. And he been all that for five and seven years and you been right there with him the whole time. So what that make you? What that make you? So you telling me you you've been there all that time, doing all that, going out of town and hanging out and hunching and doing all that stuff there. Well would that would that make you? See, cause a lot of times I notice when people get out of relationships and different things, man, they want to talk about the other person so bad. They be ready to talk about the other person did this. The other person did that. In all naturality, when it comes down to it, both of y'all did some stuff. Both of y'all been off the chain. But they'll often tell you, ⁓ no. The other person been listening. ⁓ they're a liar. They this, that, and third. So, so, so, so you just been honest, Abe. So the whole time you just was honest Abe doing everything right. But they tend to just did you all the way wrong. That's how the ball bounced out. That's how it did. Man, that's tragic. They will sit there and tell you that all the time. All the time. You hear it all the time. But they never tell you what they did. You ain't never gonna hear that too tough. What did they do wrong? And you ask them, what did you do wrong? Well, I ain't did too much. Now they might say that and I I I might have mouth trouble or I talk, you know, I talk back or I say to this, that, the third. But but but they say they they wouldn't say I ain't no good person. You know, the people run that good person in the in in the hole, but I'm a good person. To who? To yourself? Because people always gonna say that. I know I'm a good person now. I know I'm a catch. I'm the best catch. I know I'm a good person. But the person that's saying they're such a good person, and nobody never kept them. And nobody never kept them. So my question is, are you really that good? Or you're relative to people that don't value you and understand don't see your quality? Because it can be both. It can't be both. It can't be both at all. But you know, some people want you to believe that, you know. No man, it ain't me. I I I was doing everything right the whole time, you know what I'm saying? I don't care in any relationship and everything you enter, when it's over, you always can look back and see what you could did different. And that's the truth. You always can look back and see what you did differently. I don't care what it was, you can always do something better. Always. And it's always about what you learn. And it's about wanting to be better. And that's why I always say you gotta wanna be better, man, and do better. But ⁓ so many people been doing what they do for so long and getting away with what they've been doing, they have no reason to do better. Why would I need to do better if I'm getting everything I want to get by being who I am? And that's the thing that people always get me with. Like they'll say, well, they should want to do better. Why would they want to do better? Doing what I want to do and being the fool or whatever I am, get me everything I want, access to you and anything else I want. So why would I have the magnitude to change and do something different? That don't even make sense logically at all. Because if I'm getting everything I want to do, talking nasty, being a fool, being this, da-da-da-da, row, rowdy, raising out, whatever. If I'm doing all that and I'm still getting access to you and doing whatever I want to do and nothing change, then why would I need to change? Because being what I am and doing what I do get me what I want regardless. So why change? That don't make sense. I mean, I don't I'm not in the business of changing if I'm getting everything I want. Make it make sense. But like I say, man, that's my time winding down, man. ⁓ I don't know. I I honestly don't know how I got here today. But hope it catched somebody. Hope it touched somebody. I'm pretty sure some people got some questions. I'm pretty sure Norm the Great, eight four three at gmail dot com. Send them to my email. We'll discuss it. No problem. I love the feedback. And go check your boy out, man. Dope discussion with Norm the Great One. Podcasts on all platforms for the most part. Check me out, man. We doing things out here, man. And I appreciate the love and the support, man. I hope y'all have a great rest of the week and go into the weekend, man. I hope y'all have a blessed one. Be safe. It's a little warm out there. Hope y'all drinking water. Getting our electrolytes in. Also getting out there, enjoy some of that water, going to the beach, the pool or whatever. But be safe out there, man. Be safe and keep safety first and all that, man, you know? Because, you know, things happen fast, but Just go out there and have a good time, man. I don't want nobody to be out there not going out and enjoying themselves thinking about fear and all that. Nah. Go enjoy yourself and just be safe. You know, hope 4th of July coming up and all that. You know, enjoy yourself, man. Like I said, man. Thank you for everything, man. And like I always say, man, God willing, man. You know what it is. Same place, same time next week. Peace. We're out of here, baby. Thanks for listening to this episode of Dope Discussions. Where faith isn't quiet and truth isn't comfortable. Continue on this journey with us. Like and share on your favorite podcast platform. And for more real kingdom conversations, be sure to subscribe so that you never miss an episode.