Latest / HAIstoric Phonograph — irreverent dispatches from a history that never quite happened
Those Bastards Missed England and Found Curry
Send us Fan MailHow one Viking's terrible sense of direction and legendary horniness accidentally created the spiciest dynasty in history. So get this. The year is 980-something — don't fucking @ me, I'm a historian not a calendar — and a Viking chief named Halfdan the Horny decides he's going to out-do everyone. Forget raiding some damp English monastery for a few silver cups. Halfdan, a man whose ambition was rivalled only by the majestic fucking horniness of his entire being, decided he was going to sack Rome. The big one. He’d heard the Pope had a wine cellar that could get a kraken…
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