Latest / The Pausecast / Ep. 99 - The blueprint to thrive in a corporate layoff

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Ep. 99 - The blueprint to thrive in a corporate layoff · The Pausecast

0:04
Hi, I'm Rachel O'Meara. I'm the host of the podcast.
0:08
I'm also the author of pause harnessing, the life-changing
0:12
power of giving yourself a break, as well as a private
0:16
coach for men and women who are struggling with, how to get out
0:21
of overwhelm and reclaim their lives.
0:23
The pause cast is dedicated to helping individuals learn the
0:29
tools and Be more self aware that we can all be more capable
0:32
of to live our best life, to reach our potential.
0:37
Whether this is your first time listening or you're a regular, I
0:40
invite you to download my free gift to you which is a blueprint
0:45
called the three keys to stay out of overwhelm and Thrive.
0:49
The blueprint is available at my website, www.hiwayfx.com get it
0:56
today so you can start to implement these tools that we
0:58
can all learn And that's what the paws cast is all about.
1:07
Ziva meditation is our sponsor for this pause cast episode.
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My meditation teacher and author.
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Emily Fletcher, created the Ziva meditation self care center.
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Head over to tinyurl.com, pause / Ziva self-care, that's
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tinyurl.com, pause PA U IC Dash Z.
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Eva self-care, all one word Ziva, self-care to get access
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today. So my favorite one right now
2:10
just to share is this man of fearing versus manifesting
2:14
recording, you've got to watch it.
2:24
Settling ourselves in here as this is a big topic.
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What to do during a forest pause otherwise known as a layoff.
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Or a way where you found yourself in a chunk of time that
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you were not necessarily choosing to participate in, but
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find yourself and now just go ahead and fill your feet on the
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ground. Just notice how your body feels
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inhale through your nose. Exhale, through your mouth.
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Opening your eyes if they were closed.
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So we're talking today about what to do during a forced pause
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and for those of you who are new to me or may not know my story,
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my name is Rachael O'Meara and I wrote a book called pause which
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was based on my burn out of Google.
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And I write about a lot of different ways.
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People, pause and I feature 13, interviews of individuals who
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have to get a pause and have inspiring stories as a result
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because of the Silver, Linings that they found.
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And so one of them was a forced pause.
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My friend. Joe Keturah wrote about this
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happening when he was working in New York City.
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He's a fellow MBA colleague of mine from Fordham, but I think I
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want to read to you just a little bit from here because I
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don't necessarily read a lot from the book often, but I think
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this is really relevant and I want to just make this two
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sinks. Here's what I say on page, 146
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of pause. The first pause at first.
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A layoff may seem like a huge blow.
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You didn't make the grade your services are no longer needed
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for reasons, beyond your control, such as budget, cuts
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downsizing, or a change in business strategy, no one wants
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to go through updating a resume or endlessly, networking to find
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a new job. The idea of going without a
4:24
paycheck or living unemployed, for any period of time is
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certainly scary to a lot of people myself included, And
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however, this may be an eye-opening chance to find
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something more suitable or to take on a new challenge.
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Even though it's difficult to absorb sudden or unexpected news
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a layoff could be the best thing that ever happens to you.
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With a layoff, you have an opportunity to start over, you
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can explore new rules, or look for a new job.
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You are liberated to finally shift your career or reflect on
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what you authentically want to do, maybe, Gives you some time
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to be with your family and loved ones.
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You will likely Discover it has benefits that you would not have
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predicted in hindsight, you may find that these benefits could
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have come about only as a result of this event.
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So taking a pause After exiting. A job can benefit you even if
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it's temporarily painful. This forced pause.
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Allows you to think through the next steps with more.
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Focus on yourself. Give yourself a moment here.
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Just to let that seep in and taking a breath again.
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Temporarily uncomfortable, who relates to that?
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And who here might find themselves in this type of an
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environment. Right.
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There's a couple practices to couple a couple tips that I want
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to share that are also in the book that I think are really
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relevant. If you do find yourself on a
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port for Spas right now. One of them is to set
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essentially, take inventory of what's going on and be grateful,
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be grateful for whatever this opportunity has loaned.
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You lent you. This might just be like, thank
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you for acknowledging that I love my work.
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I want to continue to do this in the world and I'm ready to
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further next adventure. I'm ready to find that, right?
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That could be a gratitude. Great.
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Thank you for reminding me of how important it is.
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To be grateful for what I have in the moment.
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Every time we get a little rattled, whether it's a forced
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pause or something else. It's an important reminder of
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what is sacred to us, right? What is what is important and
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what matters. So now, even if you're laid off
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my invitation and another tip is to take a real pause.
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So literally don't go job searching the next day or that
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afternoon, you can try that. But my sense is that I actually
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feel that good. So stop running around, that's
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part of the addictive pattern of our over-scheduling ourselves
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sometimes, right? So this is the opportunity to
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let go and literally create some space and think to reflect to
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understand where I'm at right now.
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So that you can do something different, whatever, that might
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be. And give yourself the grace of a
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few days, maybe even a week or what more works, whatever works
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you figure that out. And that's the thing.
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It's something different for each of us.
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And that's your chance, right? So you can even Journal.
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I'm I keep reiterating that and that's my next tip is to create
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a pause Journal. There's pause the journal, which
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is a 90-day pause, which is a daily reflection on how you want
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to create your day and be intentional.
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So, that is an amazing resource for.
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Anyone can buy it on Amazon. I think it's $19.
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But why not try it, right? There's inspirational quotes
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every day, but whatever you do, even if it's just a regular
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notebook, give yourself that gift to time to reflect.
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Because journaling, I talked about this very recently in a
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recent book, talk it signals to things, your tells your brain,
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it matters. So it actually registers is more
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important. It's signals that this matters,
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hey, like, pay attention to this and then you're thinking about
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it differently, that's the second thing.
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You're processing this information different than when
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you would just speak it or say it.
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And so you're coming up with new insights, you're learning
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things, that's why when you Journal, it's so powerful.
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If anyone has done this, any period in their life doesn't
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need to be when things are in a force, pause.
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But it could be any time. And I think that's a really
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important part of it. Another tip is to direct your
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passion towards social good. I think that one's really nice
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because what better time do you have than maybe?
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Pick up what really can serve you as you give to the world,
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not just yourself but maybe there's a passion project that
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you want to help out in or contribute towards and think
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about that you could journal on it.
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What are you passionate about? What problems need to be solved
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in your community and who is underserved what do you like to
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do? Maybe there's a Is actually
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reached out and said, hey, we need more volunteers here and
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then you could actually do it. One of the most powerful other
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tips I'd like to offer is to identify your key relationships
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and allies. And what that means is really
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writing down, who do I know? So this is your network, who do
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I know? And then learning about what
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could be come of these relationships, who are your true
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friends right now, for the who are the folks, you would turn to
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that, I would call allies for, For support and for helping you
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brainstorm. What's what could be next for
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you? Maybe they reflect to you?
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What your strengths are? If you ask them a lot of times
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when we're in the doldrums, or we feel kind of down because of
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our situation, maybe because there's so much space and you
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don't have the time. You actually have too much time
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but you don't have a structure, we can remind ourselves what
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we're good at and it really just helps to lift our spirits and
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research shows that. When we focus on our strengths,
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we actually perform Better in the world, which probably means
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you'll do better in your job search.
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You'll be better in interviews and so on.
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So if you don't know your strength, I invite you to ask
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some of these key friends say, Hey, you know, me pretty well
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Joe, what do you think I'm good at?
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Because I just some kind of curious and I'm taking a poll
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here to see what resonates with folks and see what comes back
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and you might notice themes and you might notice how I feel so
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acknowledged. Right now.
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That's so that's so affirming that you think I'm a great
10:38
networker cool. And these might inform your
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future job choices and decisions and it's just a great boost,
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right? A big, a big confidence boost
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like hey, oh yeah, that's right. I am good at that and you can
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remind yourself. I think that that's a really big
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one. Finding a mentor is an important
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tip to right now, so that could be online mentors.
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Lots of YouTube videos from really incredible people.
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There's The podcast is part of that Community, but also groups
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that just you relate to, right? So maybe it's your alma mater
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communities or your neighborhood communities.
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But what's what feels good for you and I think that that's
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really important. Most of all, I think above and
11:22
beyond anything in the force pause time.
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Think about your paws as this transition time and it's
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important to honor that. So you go back into the next
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thing or you go back into the next thing feeling refreshed and
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renewed and ready for whatever comes your way.
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And you might even pivot, you might even decide, all right.
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I'm only going to work this. This particular angle or X
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hours? Ten ten.
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Ten percent of my time is going to be on something else.
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I don't know, whatever it is. Those are all important and I
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want to share another quote, I love this one from Steve Jobs.
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As we all know the late CEO of Apple, he talks about getting
12:09
laid off, and puts a pretty positive spin on it.
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Here's what he says. And again, this isn't, this is
12:13
all in the book, cause I didn't see it then, but it turned out
12:17
that getting fired from. Apple was the best thing that
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could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being
12:23
successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner
12:26
again, less sure about everything.
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It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my
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life. Life.
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Isn't that amazing? I love that quote.
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I think that's so good. And my final step here, my
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staff. But my final, my final part
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about this in relation to the forest, pause, is to.
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Just remember before you do do jump into that next adventure.
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Building that time to pause at all, if you can, so that might
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be a few weeks. If you've got six months
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Severance that would be amazing, right?
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If you got three months Severance, like, maybe that's a
13:05
week or that's two weeks, but it's not like we all have that
13:09
luxury. So what do you need yourself?
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What can you personally feel good with and know that it will
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serve you for future jobs? So that might be a few
13:20
additional days. It might be taking a total like
13:23
four-day weekend to decompress or a two-day weekend.
13:25
If you've got kids, what could you do with them?
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Or would you want to be with them, or do you want to help
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your partner? Help them as you take a solo,
13:35
pause. I like to say, which is might
13:37
just be too. Today, like, overnight trip
13:39
somewhere that you just get out of your environment and get a,
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get a fresh start. And here's the thing I like to
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remember, too. If your new employer, if you
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really are interviewing and they want you to start right away and
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it's like, there has been no transition time.
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Think about what you're up for. And if they really want you
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chances are a day or a few days or even a week won't be that
14:02
difficult. It just won't if that's
14:05
impossible. Then maybe negotiate a front for
14:07
moored, more vacation days, later on all of this is just for
14:11
you to set your intention and to be on Your best for yourself to
14:16
know what you need. And that set you up for Success
14:19
at helps you recharge and do things differently.
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So now, we've covered a little bit about pausing.
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I'm curious, you know, just giving yourself this moment
14:29
right now because reflection is important.
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How do you feel as you've been listening?
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Does this sound exciting? Are you scared?
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Maybe it's a little bit of both. Maybe you feel sad at the loss
14:45
of the role, the role that you had or hurt because you were let
14:48
down and let go because you felt like you were not appreciated, I
14:52
don't know, whatever it is. Just giving yourself literally
14:55
15 seconds right now as I'm talking to acknowledge how you
15:00
feel. Is so important because it's
15:04
validating you. It's giving yourself affirmation
15:07
because your feelings are yours and this is what we talk about
15:10
all the time and emotional intelligence.
15:13
Our emotions are genuine and they're real and no one can no
15:17
one can change them. They're ours right?
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They're yours. So it's really really healthy to
15:22
name a feeling because it's just remember reminding yourself?
15:25
Oh yeah I guess I do feel this and you don't have to justify it
15:28
there's no judgment. If you can just like allow
15:31
yourself to stay judgment-free kind of go out in the ethers The
15:35
Observer mode just like okay. Yeah I feel, I feel super
15:38
disappointed. I'm bummed that would be
15:41
sadness, right? So give yourself that Grace
15:45
because there's a lot of feelings going on.
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There's so much it could be overwhelmed, which is generally.
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And usually fear-based and driven.
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And there's also that urge to want to rush and do other things
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because it's really scary to be in the void of not having
16:05
structure. And that's my other point.
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I want to shift gears a little bit and talk about how we can
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set ourselves up for Success during this time, if you are on
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a forced pause. Okay, so there's a few quick
16:16
things to do. So, I talk about these all the
16:19
time in my corporate talks and lately, there's been a lot of
16:23
these talks about what burnout is, and how to recognize it and
16:27
kind of taking it back a little bit to just know, about how to
16:32
gauge, what to do differently. So that you feel good.
16:35
Even if you're Looking for a job and you're not even working, you
16:37
can burn out and we all relate to that, right?
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It has to do with. How are we handling the stress?
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And what are we doing to mitigate it and 210 do
16:47
ourselves? I think, right?
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And so what it was. So so here's what we can do in
16:52
and hang with me on a few of these tips, right?
16:55
So we want to create boundaries and rules and structure for
17:01
ourselves. I think that's the first and
17:02
foremost thing to really do, because all of a sudden, think
17:05
about when you're 40 plus hours a week.
17:07
Usually. And your day is structured,
17:09
you've got calendar Jenga going on and you were like, you have
17:15
certain time you have commute times and all of a sudden
17:17
there's nothing it's like going, it's got It's like going from
17:21
100 miles per hour to zero and then and then expecting that to
17:25
feel and be the same thing and it's so not.
17:29
So we need rules and structure to really help us with.
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Like I think of them as guard rails for feeling safe and good.
17:36
Good. I can share my the ones that I
17:38
had when I was in my three months, unpaid break, even
17:42
though it wasn't a horse Paws, it was a voluntary.
17:44
Pause, I got myself up every morning.
17:47
I had, you know, I got out of the house by 10 a.m. which
17:50
wasn't too early, but I got out, I made actually think I made my
17:54
bed by 9 a.m. and then I stuck to emails and social media 2
18:01
times, 2 times 30 minute chunks which really wasn't too much
18:05
social media back then But you can do limits on email.
18:09
So set a timer. You could calendar that and then
18:12
when that's done you shut it down, you get off of that.
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You can set these up in your phone so that you don't have
18:19
more than that amount of time needed and figure out what works
18:23
for you. What are you willing to try?
18:25
And I would say, go for something a little outside.
18:27
Your comfort zone, so we can get sucked into that stuff for
18:31
hours. As you know, and I'm talking,
18:34
this is emails and responding. Like it's not taking a class
18:37
online. That could be something as an
18:38
activity. That's very different.
18:40
This is literally using, this is using online media for
18:45
consumption where we get dopamine hits and we feel the
18:48
rush and it's great and then we get sucked in.
18:51
So, so create those boundaries. What would it be for you?
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These are so, so important, the structure is what's going to
18:56
help you feel in control because that's another part of this,
19:02
right? So That's important and then
19:06
constructively using time is also good and also
19:09
deconstructing time so potentially maybe you've got a
19:13
couple hours in your day each day that is routine.
19:16
So you have a morning routine maybe you go to the gym.
19:20
You go for a walk, you walk your dog.
19:22
Maybe you have your coffee or your tea, you have an evening
19:25
routine, you make dinner and be with your family, and then
19:29
you've got unstructured time, which might be, I have a
19:31
two-hour chunk just for whatever I want.
19:34
And that might be going out to the park that day.
19:36
And the next day might be reading a book or maybe it's,
19:39
maybe it is watching some TV, but you give yourself a limit of
19:42
time that feels like, okay, that can work, right?
19:46
So so this is all about intention notice pausing, it's
19:49
an intentional shift in Behavior, so bringing the
19:52
intention to your paws, can make it so so much more beneficial to
19:56
you because you're going to feel on purpose, you're going to feel
19:59
on point that you're working and doing things in this time that
20:02
are serving you. And that's so important.
20:04
And I think the bigger message that I also want to share.
20:07
So, just kind of recapping here. We've got time-bound.
20:11
We've got boundaries, so structure and rules.
20:13
One of the, what are those look like for you creating that in
20:16
your day, there's constructive time use of time.
20:21
So what can you put in your calendar for structured versus
20:23
unstructured time and, and create those guardrails.
20:26
So you feel in control and you like, wow, even though I'm on
20:29
this pause actually got really full days but they feel good to
20:33
me. And that's the other thing.
20:34
If you look at this calendar and you let you what is the feeling
20:37
you have, if it feels if you if you feel like your shoulders
20:41
sink and you are dreading the day, my guess is that's not an
20:47
aligned structure for you. So then maybe go back to the
20:51
journal, go back to the journal and start to write what what do
20:54
I need right now? What could I really need and be
20:56
like, I don't even know what I need and just start writing like
20:59
whatever pen to paper works, right?
21:01
That's the idea. You just brain dumping.
21:03
What's in here and what's in your brain to to be on paper.
21:08
And now once that happens, usually you're going to get some
21:10
insights or know what feels aligned.
21:13
And that's what we're going for. In this whole entire pause in
21:17
this Force. Pause time is the opportunity to
21:21
align and feel on track and that may be felt on track 110% and
21:28
you still got laid off. Okay, cool.
21:30
So, you know how it feels to feel aligned and you're going to
21:32
continue to That way because you know what?
21:35
You're going to be journaling and deciding on what kind of
21:38
role you want and all of that or you might have felt so
21:41
misaligned like, wow, this was a blessing in disguise.
21:44
I just know it because I was miserable and I hated this job
21:48
at the end and I couldn't stand this project and all of a sudden
21:51
you just found yourself in swirling in negativity, which is
21:53
a sign of burnout. By the way, doesn't mean you
21:55
have to stay there, but to get out of it, we need to kind of
21:58
create the space, because that's when we'll be able to process
22:01
things differently and get out of of those ways of thinking, it
22:05
don't serve us when we're in - modes and don't feel aligned
22:11
Does that make sense? Are you picking up, what?
22:13
I'm laying down. I think that that's really
22:15
important and Overall treat this time as such a gift for you.
22:22
Even though that might be the last thing you think of because
22:28
here's the thing it's very rare to have this time to yourself
22:32
what a what a gift, right? You might be laughing like yeah,
22:36
gift, right? Rachel I'm doing laundry.
22:38
Loads 33 hours a day and catching up on all the things I
22:41
didn't do. Wow, what a gift you get to do
22:43
the laundry that was piling up and not getting done that.
22:47
You now, do or You're actually able to plan a vacation or go to
22:50
Europe with a daughter who might have gotten laid off as you're
22:53
retiring, like, all kinds of stuff can happen in emerge but
22:57
if you don't, if you don't actually pause and intentionally
23:00
shift your behavior, guess what happens?
23:03
You you entirely miss it. It's like it just goes.
23:06
Boom, right by and you lift your head up me.
23:08
Like, I don't know what you're talking about because you missed
23:11
it. You were not aware, you were not
23:13
aligned to notice. And that's what happened.
23:16
And then we end up back on the treadmill and scared and drain.
23:20
And we go back right into what something else was like, we were
23:22
doing and find ourselves in that same predicament, which gosh, I
23:25
don't want to wish that on anyone, but to me, that's the
23:29
essence in Porton Vitality of what pausing is is it gives
23:33
Gives you the gift to know what you need and that's just like
23:37
like huge life-changing. And my case it was life-changing
23:42
because I realized I had lost sight of my strengths so I
23:48
remembered what those were through asking some folks in
23:51
those allies that I mentioned and I used that to inform what
23:57
my new job would be which was sales.
23:59
And really like working with clients directly again.
24:03
And then that led me to a 10-year plus role that I held in
24:07
love. I Google and it was great and
24:11
and then I was ready to do something else in the line again
24:13
and and that wouldn't have happened.
24:15
I don't think if I had just gotten to a next job without
24:17
really, without a lining and that's what I want for, all of
24:21
you for each and every one of you.
24:23
So if you're feeling like, you're not sure what to do or
24:27
how to use this time, I hope that this episode has been
24:31
helpful to you and Also check out my other episode which is
24:35
all about a forced pause and that one is about episode 79,
24:42
you're laid off now what and that one's really good.
24:44
It's gets into some more of the mental strategies of that.
24:48
I'd say pursue this is more the Tactical strategy so you could
24:51
think of like part 1 and part 2, all right, everyone much love to
24:56
you. If you want any support in this,
24:59
if you're feeling like, I could just use a little bit of
25:02
guidance. You know, it's a great start
25:04
pause. The book is written for you.
25:07
Like it. I wrote it for individuals who
25:09
are gonna pause. Like they don't know what to do
25:12
next and it's literally a guide step by step and what could be
25:14
different. And then reach out, let me know,
25:18
join my Facebook group, like just respond.
25:21
And I will happily reach out and support you.
25:24
I know one needs to go through this alone and I'm just so happy
25:28
and honored to be with you as you're in this space, which can
25:32
really be transformative and in a good way for you, even though
25:36
you might think that's the last thing possible.
25:40
Thank you so much and I'll see you soon and much love.
25:44
Bye. Thanks for listening today, to
26:01
the pause cast. If you haven't already, please
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subscribe, so that you don't miss a show.
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And if you haven't already, please rate US, leave your
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helpful then invite them to join us.
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Share the pause cast with those. Those who you think might find
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this useful to become more self-aware.
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Remember sharing is caring. I'll see you next time on the
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paws cast.