Latest / No Latency / NL: SideQuest - Saving Santos - Pt5 Cupid Slayed

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NL: SideQuest - Saving Santos - Pt5 Cupid Slayed · No Latency

• 0:01
  Last time on no latency side quest.
• 0:05
  Small oncoming. Traffic.
• 0:06
  Sorry, I've been drinking a little too much.
• 0:08
  As we got company how? Dare you, her Queen?
• 0:10
  I might have a small concussion. Not anyone's fault.
• 0:13
  I'm camera ready still, all right.
• 0:15
  That ain't no cherub to me. Shoulder check the drone.
• 0:18
  I still have one more shot left in my gun.
• 0:20
  With the car. Tasers and bullets.
• 0:23
  And I'm going to shoot again. Darts.
• 0:24
  Oh my. Hey.
• 0:25
  Monotonous. I mean, that was a real
• 0:27
  explosive debut. Ollie Grind on the sidewalk.
• 0:30
  Oh, that's wonderful. I used to live in home.
• 0:33
  It's a. Nice shipping container lot.
• 0:34
  Not a robot, that's a microgram. Excuse the hell out of you, it's
• 0:37
  a. Bullet in my foot.
• 0:39
  I'm not going anywhere near an MP grenade A.
• 0:42
  Couple things and nothing crazy. You've been furloughed.
• 0:44
  And we support you. And throw the MP grenade in
• 0:47
  there, close the door and run away.
• 0:59
  Brawling. Oh.
• 1:03
  That's what I'm good at. Nice 17.
• 1:12
  The door opens, you throw the EMP grenade out.
• 1:16
  Clunk. Clunk.
• 1:18
  Clunk, clunk, clunk. It catches both of the drones
• 1:23
  and they frazzle before you dropping to the ground.
• 1:27
  She on the other hand is unaffected as she steps back.
• 1:33
  You have discovered by throwing this EMP grade that she is a
• 1:37
  human being. She's the real 1.
• 1:42
  Oh, she's the real one. I'm the real 1 bitch.
• 1:44
  Oh good, I'll pull up my gun and put it at her.
• 1:46
  If you move, I'm shooting you in the face.
• 1:51
  Probably for the last time, Roll furnished it.
• 1:57
  Probably for the last time if. He shoots him in the face.
• 2:03
  Oh, I real bad, I real bad. It's.
• 2:08
  OK, almost slightly worse than me.
• 2:11
  That's actually the correct order.
• 2:13
  That's wild. That's really fun.
• 2:14
  OK, great. And combat begins.
• 2:17
  Cupid is on the other side of this courtyard that you have
• 2:20
  opened up to. You're all in a doorway.
• 2:23
  Devin, you are first to shoot. Question.
• 2:26
  Mm Hmm. Is there such thing as aiming
• 2:29
  for the head? An aim shot is +8.
• 2:33
  You are pretty far away. Each square is 5 feet.
• 2:37
  How many? Feet 303540 You are 40 feet
• 2:39
  away. What is your move?
• 2:42
  So an aim an aim shot does take a higher thing to hit, but if
• 2:47
  you do hit it does automatically cause an injury.
• 2:50
  Yes. OK I have 5 move.
• 2:53
  Yes, so you can move 5 squares 2. 345 You know, Devin Devin's
• 3:00
  sick of this shit. His therapy isn't working as
• 3:03
  well. He's gonna try to shoot him in
• 3:05
  the head. That is 5 16.
• 3:13
  That is. That is enough.
• 3:14
  You are three skies away. That is enough.
• 3:18
  Let's. Go oh wait, you did a plus.
• 3:22
  No, you did a aim shot, so that's +8.
• 3:24
  That is not enough. You needed a luck.
• 3:27
  Thing I can do. Yes, I will let you do it this
• 3:30
  time. Do you have 7 luck?
• 3:37
  I have. No, you have 6 luck.
• 3:40
  One less than 7. Yes, but that would be all of
• 3:42
  your luck. That's that's fine, because
• 3:46
  Nevin has not been lucky since he's met this.
• 3:49
  Crew hold. On I have an inspiration.
• 3:54
  You do. So what did you roll?
• 3:57
  You rolled A4. If you can roll A5 or above, you
• 4:04
  hit with the same shot, but you burn all your.
• 4:06
  Life inspiration. Yeah.
• 4:08
  I appreciate another shot. Need a 5 or more.
• 4:11
  You can roll the red the raw dice if you want.
• 4:13
  If we want to have like a. That would be a critical hit.
• 4:25
  That. Is inspiring.
• 4:26
  That is inspiration. That's amazing.
• 4:33
  All right. Best use of an inspiration ever.
• 4:37
  Best. You'll blade the armour by two.
• 4:41
  You watch her step back as she gets hit and you hear one of her
• 4:45
  ribs crack as it echoes through the metal sided courtyard that
• 4:49
  you're in. She makes that anime noise that
• 4:54
  the Power Rangers make whenever they get pushed back.
• 4:56
  What? Was that?
• 5:01
  And because you did so well, I will let you move one more
• 5:04
  square. You can move towards or away.
• 5:06
  I'm going to take that step with intention, like a monster movie.
• 5:10
  Just nice slow step forward. I told you, if you moved, I'm
• 5:16
  going to shoot you in the face. There is a drone to your to your
• 5:23
  right. God damn it.
• 5:30
  And it shoots you 18. It hits you for 10 damage, which
• 5:39
  because it's a stun gunshot, actually bypasses you.
• 5:42
  Roman. It doesn't matter if I have on
• 5:46
  something EMP thingy. No, but if you get taken down by
• 5:50
  a stun gun you don't die, you just pass out.
• 5:52
  I'll take it. And the drone buzzes with joy
• 5:56
  with its hit. It makes a little noise that's.
• 6:02
  Adorable. Devin is in my way.
• 6:04
  I cannot fire my gun. If you're good, you can fire
• 6:08
  around them. Am I ever that good?
• 6:11
  I use area for effect weapons. Excuse.
• 6:14
  That's very true, although you do have a shot on the drone.
• 6:16
  I'm gonna have to go for that. Yeah, right.
• 6:22
  Just shotgun away. Sounds good.
• 6:27
  Hell's Bells. 27 yes, good hit. You caused some damage, a very
• 6:34
  good amount and you you watch it be teetering on half health.
• 6:39
  It is not there yet, but it is wavering and it moves slightly
• 6:42
  further away from you as it hovers carefully in the air.
• 6:47
  Smoker. Nice shot, retro.
• 6:51
  I move into the room so I can see and then.
• 6:56
  You're in the courtyard. But yes, sorry, into the
• 6:58
  courtyard. I move into the courtyard so I
• 7:01
  can see. Wait, let me just double check
• 7:02
  how many squares I can move. I don't want to.
• 7:05
  I'm sorry, where? How many squares can I move?
• 7:07
  No, don't apologize. Your move is five, so you can
• 7:10
  move 5 squares with four move. So much.
• 7:13
  Yeah. 1234 five, I'll move right up over here by Retro and I'm
• 7:18
  going to take a little shot at. The drone is closer by one
• 7:24
  square. Oh.
• 7:25
  Yeah, I'm going to take a take a shot at the drone.
• 7:28
  Why? Not cool.
• 7:29
  Yeah, it's only three squares away.
• 7:30
  Yeah, get that? Drone out of the way.
• 7:33
  Get out of here. Get out of here.
• 7:36
  Bam. Oh my.
• 7:39
  God Oh my God, Oh my God. April that is a double crit.
• 7:45
  You crit to hit and you crit with damage.
• 7:47
  You rolled 2 sixes and a one. Got highs and lows there, but
• 7:52
  that's still a critical injury. The drone flies back into the
• 7:56
  wall behind it and explodes. You roll so well it drops 20
• 8:02
  scrap on the ground and a piece of metal flies towards Cupid.
• 8:06
  She has to roll to evade this piece of shrapnel.
• 8:11
  The trick shot is incredible. Can I say I'm April Anonymous?
• 8:20
  The piece of shrapnel misses Cupid because she rolled a 23 on
• 8:24
  invasion. Holy shit.
• 8:27
  But it does force her closer towards you because she has
• 8:30
  nowhere else to dodge to. You have her corn.
• 8:34
  Oh no. None of his mother.
• 8:40
  Just wanted him to love me. Let me check the script.
• 8:44
  Hey, have another shot. I have another shot.
• 8:47
  You shouldn't have threatened the kids.
• 8:50
  Jesus Christ. All right, you, you create.
• 8:59
  You create. Hit again, causing a decent
• 9:04
  amount of damage to Cupid, and she stumbles towards the blue
• 9:09
  shipping container behind her. I don't support what he did, but
• 9:13
  you don't take it out on the children.
• 9:15
  You know this. You're better than this.
• 9:17
  I'm. Really not you are you heard by
• 9:22
  singing It's not good. But you as a person are better
• 9:26
  than this. I grew up corpo, I'm better than
• 9:30
  this. You can be too.
• 9:32
  She shoots her gun towards Devon, rolling a 20.
• 9:37
  She hits for eight damage. What's your armor, Devon?
• 9:41
  My armor, so thank God I have it on.
• 9:44
  I'm wearing a light. It's a Jack and a helmet.
• 9:47
  So right, it is armor piercing. So your armor is ablated by
• 9:51
  1:00, but you do not take damage as the bullet glints into your
• 9:56
  shoulders armor. Plate power so I lose 1 one
• 10:00
  point. Yes, you lose one of your body
• 10:03
  armor. SPU did.
• 10:04
  You did you just shoot me? Why?
• 10:09
  Did he shoot you? You.
• 10:11
  Not you. Because he was closest.
• 10:14
  OK. And you're at you guys are he
• 10:17
  shot me earlier. I had to chew.
• 10:18
  I went with the It's the shot that's.
• 10:22
  True young, yeah, you get him in the face actually, like.
• 10:24
  Right, right. So he hit me in the face.
• 10:26
  So that's why my right partner of two, that's why I'm going to
• 10:30
  shoot again. Back.
• 10:31
  No. No.
• 10:31
  Truly, truly Queen. I got you and your armor is
• 10:35
  ablated again, but you do not take damage because she did not
• 10:38
  roll high enough. Yep, Yep, Yep.
• 10:42
  So your body armor goes down by 1 again.
• 10:45
  Did. You shoot me.
• 10:48
  You shot me again. Not only did you move twice, you
• 10:52
  shot me twice. Oh my God, oh, oh, I'm going to
• 11:00
  enjoy this. I'm going to and attack again.
• 11:04
  In fact, I'm going to take a 5 foot.
• 11:07
  I'm going to take a step forward to make it even easier. 4
• 11:13
  scoring 20 years ago. I'm going to shoot you in the
• 11:16
  face. Heavy pistol?
• 11:22
  You rolled a 16. Are you doing a name shot?
• 11:26
  Are you just shooting at her? I unfortunately I did say a name
• 11:30
  shot. Yeah, so that bullet missed.
• 11:32
  You have one more bullet. I'm.
• 11:33
  Going to just drop that gun, pull the other one out of my hip
• 11:36
  like RoboCop since it's a subdermal thing.
• 11:39
  Say Oslo beast a bitch. That's the.
• 11:47
  Best one? Yeah, but this isn't an aim
• 11:50
  shot. You didn't say aim shot.
• 11:52
  You said you were just shooting her and that is over the 15 it
• 11:56
  would cost to shoot her and you cause 12 damage.
• 11:58
  Oh, Lamar, that. Was the best latest one liner.
• 12:15
  She can only move one square without getting hurt, so she
• 12:18
  takes another step back to the corner.
• 12:20
  What did I just tell? You it would be the drones turn,
• 12:25
  but you blew that up a second ago and it's retros to Oh my.
• 12:31
  God. I mean, I kind.
• 12:36
  Of feel bad. This kind of almost feels on the
• 12:40
  level of bullying if they weren't already trying to kill
• 12:42
  us. You can't have any conscience in
• 12:43
  the corporal game. You can't have a conscience in
• 12:46
  the corporal game, guys. Just a kid though.
• 12:48
  I'm going. To head over 12345 are are you
• 12:57
  like are you OK? Understand what you're doing.
• 13:02
  Yeah, I was. Trying to kill Nick because he
• 13:06
  ghosted me, OK, And now you're his friend, so I'm trying to
• 13:10
  kill you. This is very simple Night City
• 13:12
  shit. That's absolutely fair, Devin, I
• 13:19
  would like. For you to.
• 13:21
  Please acknowledge as a witness that I did try the right thing.
• 13:30
  And then I blow her head off. Nice.
• 13:34
  I have a notary. To well, I get, I keep getting
• 13:40
  told that I just kill everybody. I'm like, I give him a shot.
• 13:43
  And that's a name shot. You blow your shotgun through
• 13:47
  her face and her head gets splattered against the wall and
• 13:50
  she dies before you retro roll evasion.
• 14:01
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• 14:19
  randomness. Since 2012 myself and an amazing
• 14:23
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  Every group has a different story and flavour, and every
• 14:40
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  Literally hundreds of hours of stories are waiting for you as
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  part of the Pick X network. Check out Dungeons and
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  Randomness wherever you get your podcasts and we'll see you
• 14:58
  around the table. World of Asian.
• 15:06
  OK, bye. If I gotta get some frazil I
• 15:09
  can't find it. 21 was the DV you get covered in blood.
• 15:13
  Oh. Shit, oh jumps out here.
• 15:21
  I pull out the very good toilet paper and just kind of offer it
• 15:23
  to retro. Hey, here you go.
• 15:30
  For me. Yeah, yeah, you got a little.
• 15:33
  Yeah, you get inspiration for a Chekhov scan.
• 15:35
  There you go, and combat is over.
• 15:40
  You're now in this courtyard. You were still not found, Nick.
• 15:43
  It's so soft. Retro The toilet paper is
• 15:48
  sacrificed to clean you off. You are no longer covered in
• 15:50
  blood, but you now have a wad of bloody tissues.
• 15:59
  All right off. To find out.
• 16:01
  I'm just going to drop it next to the body like.
• 16:09
  I'll find our fuck boy. Yeah, is it not in this door
• 16:12
  right here in front of us? Suppose you must be.
• 16:17
  Statistically, probably. Shall I do the honors?
• 16:21
  Hold up my pistol. Wait a minute, I'm going to step
• 16:27
  to this one just in case. Retro as you walk over to this
• 16:32
  door, do you want to examine it? Yes, I would.
• 16:34
  I would love to. I would love to examine stuff.
• 16:37
  OK, that will be. 32 you see that there is a little chip slot
• 16:48
  in the wall and the very faint words safe room around it.
• 16:57
  Oh, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll. I'm not going to tell them that.
• 17:09
  I'm just going to go ahead and just start putting in the
• 17:10
  firmware. Cool.
• 17:12
  You put the chip into the wall and you watch it load.
• 17:15
  The safe room unlocks and the door opens before you.
• 17:20
  It makes a loud enough noise that everyone else notices it is
• 17:23
  loud. Shit.
• 17:27
  What you got there, buddy? I I found I found the safe room.
• 17:32
  It literally says safe room right here.
• 17:36
  I don't know what y'all stand by that door for.
• 17:39
  Wonder what's in it though. I'll.
• 17:42
  Take a look. I mean, what's going to what's
• 17:43
  the harm of that? Oh, I can hear its wheel as you
• 17:49
  open it. I shoot it.
• 17:55
  April you shoot into this safe room.
• 17:58
  No, no, I shoot the door here. Oh, you shoot the other door.
• 18:05
  The roll is 16. The door was not locked and it
• 18:08
  blows open. It is an empty blue shipping
• 18:10
  container. Yay, great.
• 18:17
  At least we know that there's not anybody hiding in there to
• 18:19
  come get come after us. Exactly, could have been an
• 18:22
  ambush later. Should have probably checked.
• 18:25
  Jiggled the handle. I'll I'll own that.
• 18:29
  A little jumpy right now, banged my head up good earlier.
• 18:33
  We're just going to keep blaming it on that.
• 18:36
  I I went up to a locked door and I totally didn't realize that
• 18:39
  there was a latch in front of me to unlock it apparently.
• 18:42
  I've been shot 3 times. Yeah, but.
• 18:48
  What was? It Yep, they were all your
• 18:51
  choices as I walk into the room. You walk into this green
• 19:01
  shipping container to your South and West.
• 19:05
  There is an opening to a yellow shipping container and in this
• 19:08
  room there is a sink and three vending machines as well as a
• 19:11
  few crates with some long term food in them.
• 19:14
  Oh. Well, I've never wanted to pass
• 19:19
  up a vending machine that's rolling dice.
• 19:23
  One you find one thing, skip chip amazing.
• 19:31
  Did. You buy it.
• 19:34
  No. No, OK.
• 19:37
  What's a skill chip? Skill chip regular variant.
• 19:41
  Upon purchase choose skill skill receive +4 to that skill.
• 19:45
  If base is 0, chips are outside where required.
• 19:49
  Chip in today. It's like learning by by by just
• 19:54
  downloading essentially. Cool.
• 19:56
  Yeah, it's very much of the I know Kung Fu.
• 20:00
  Yes, it's very, I know Kung Fu. The chip slot is will give you a
• 20:03
  humanity loss. It's a cool mechanic because you
• 20:05
  can, once you've used a chip, you can pull it in and out.
• 20:08
  At least that's what I say, because you can just like chip
• 20:10
  it in. I would like to ask if I buy the
• 20:17
  if I buy the skill chip. I would like to buy it, but I
• 20:19
  would like to have it do something a little more off the
• 20:23
  wall. Sure.
• 20:25
  If if I have it if I have it connected, I would like to have
• 20:28
  the ability to pull off a random movie fighting move at some
• 20:35
  point. Yes, but it'll only work once.
• 20:39
  Well, yeah, yeah, only, only like what?
• 20:40
  Like 1-1 per session. No.
• 20:42
  Once. Ever. 500 is worth it, yeah.
• 20:46
  Yeah, fair enough. You get one cool movie move
• 20:52
  between now and forever. Just one.
• 20:54
  Well, like it has like all the movie Kung Fu has like been
• 20:57
  loaded onto it it. Is called it is a chip that's
• 20:59
  just called an I know Kung Fu chip.
• 21:01
  They burn out once. Side note, we should make that
• 21:07
  as a home break. Continue What?
• 21:10
  Do you even think I had already? I want to check the vending
• 21:12
  machines. Cool, roll me AD 65.
• 21:16
  You find 3 items? Well you found a skill chip.
• 21:21
  Nice. I can.
• 21:24
  I'm going to buy it. It's 500 eddies.
• 21:27
  Yay. You now have a skill chip for
• 21:32
  whatever skill you want, or you can also do the Kung Fu thing if
• 21:34
  you want. I'm going to get it for a skill
• 21:37
  I don't know what I want it for yet though.
• 21:39
  Pick one. Can I?
• 21:41
  Can I pick one later? I guess it's less fun pick one
• 21:44
  now. OK, I pick.
• 21:48
  Just the skill you have 0 in that's.
• 21:49
  What it's used? Just any skill you have 0 in.
• 21:51
  Yeah, or any skill, period. Actually.
• 21:53
  No, the zero skills you get more points.
• 21:56
  For regular skills you only get 2.
• 21:58
  So if you see. What I mean?
• 21:59
  So if you have no knowledge in it whatsoever, it gives you 4
• 22:02
  points. Oh, that's cool.
• 22:04
  That's cool. No, that's really cool actually.
• 22:09
  That's why it's 500. They're expensive.
• 22:11
  No, that's actually really cool, Pin.
• 22:15
  Today. OK, I'm going to do.
• 22:18
  Oh my God. I'm going to do interrogation.
• 22:22
  I don't have anything in interrogation.
• 22:24
  Why do I not have anything in interrogation?
• 22:26
  Yeah, I'm, I'm. Doing that you have you now have
• 22:27
  a skill chip that gives you +4 to interrogation.
• 22:30
  I'm going to say that even if you did not install a skill a
• 22:34
  skill chip slot before now you probably did because April would
• 22:39
  probably have one I think at this point.
• 22:41
  So let's just pretend you have one if you ever need it.
• 22:43
  It is now part of your sheet. Yeah.
• 22:46
  And Devon finds 4 things, including one of the rarest
• 22:53
  things you will find, which is a skill chip times 2.
• 22:56
  Now a * 2 skill chip lets you do the same thing but 4 * 2 skills,
• 23:01
  which is why it's 1000 daddies I'm.
• 23:03
  I'm going to go ahead and grab both of the regular skill chip
• 23:07
  and the extra skill chip. That's the goal skill chip.
• 23:12
  Because you bought over a certain amount, the real water
• 23:14
  gets dispensed for free. Nice.
• 23:19
  And I get real water. Hell yeah.
• 23:22
  Somehow I have enough place to do that.
• 23:24
  So. Oh.
• 23:25
  Man, real water, the best kind of water.
• 23:28
  It doesn't have flavor. And what are yours, What's your
• 23:32
  skill and what's your times 2 skill?
• 23:35
  My core skill will be what am I trash at that I keep having to
• 23:42
  do dodge. Actually not that bad at that of
• 23:52
  such trash. He's picking, he's picking.
• 23:57
  I'm picking this is the best part.
• 24:00
  You know what? Interrogation.
• 24:04
  I actually don't have that much interrogation.
• 24:06
  You have zero. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 24:07
  So now you get +4 if you have that chip installed.
• 24:10
  And then what about your times 2 skill?
• 24:12
  So any skill that has times 2 next to it.
• 24:15
  Any skill that has times 2 next to it.
• 24:17
  Martial arts, demolitions, Electronic security tech
• 24:22
  paramedic auto fire. Auto fire?
• 24:27
  What's auto fire? Auto fire is anything that you
• 24:31
  roll over, the DV is the multiple of the damage and it
• 24:34
  costs 10 bullets. So if you got an SMG and.
• 24:38
  It has auto fire. Yeah, there's auto fire.
• 24:41
  So you had 15 to hit your rod to 12 you get times 3 damage.
• 24:45
  I, I, I'm gonna, I'm gonna. There's no good reason for this.
• 24:50
  I'm gonna take martial art. Cool, great.
• 24:53
  So yeah, you now have +4 to Kung Fu in general.
• 24:57
  This is not a special move like what Retro has.
• 25:00
  You can now do basic Kung Fu, but only if you have the chip
• 25:04
  installed. You only have one slot, so you
• 25:07
  have to choose between interrogation and Martial arts
• 25:10
  whenever you. Oh, forgiven.
• 25:12
  Everything that's happened to, it's going to be the martial
• 25:16
  arts right now. And you do this little shopping
• 25:21
  in this safe room from these vending machines, and you're
• 25:25
  very happy with your purchases and you're sort of showing each
• 25:27
  other your items. Yeah.
• 25:30
  I mean, I'm really excited, but I can't really like, I can't
• 25:34
  show it off because I'm too worried that I'd use it up.
• 25:38
  Yeah, we better keep moving though.
• 25:40
  You hear like a banging, a metal banging or what?
• 25:43
  Are you guys shopping at the park?
• 25:47
  Hello all, The show tonight. Right away, I'm glad there are
• 25:50
  more vending machines. Oh, more shopping.
• 25:56
  At the end of this corridor, you see a yellow door that is jammed
• 26:01
  shut. Although the safe room has
• 26:03
  unlocked. Nick has been trying to force
• 26:05
  this door and he's actually jammed the door shut there.
• 26:07
  You. Make a tail.
• 26:10
  We do. We do.
• 26:12
  Great. Is Cupid dead?
• 26:15
  Yeah, with a vengeance. Great, great.
• 26:18
  Awesome. I'm going to do this charity
• 26:21
  thing and like, it's like it's like 20 minutes.
• 26:24
  So can you guys? We're working on it.
• 26:27
  Got some music to do we're. Working on it.
• 26:29
  We're working on it. Wait a minute.
• 26:32
  I have this much adrenaline without drugs holy shit.
• 26:35
  We can fix it anyway. You're like, actually going to
• 26:37
  give the money to the kids, right?
• 26:39
  You're not going to. Give it to.
• 26:41
  All of that stuff, it's all true.
• 26:42
  I I turned to be weak. I just was shooting last year.
• 26:46
  You can roll Human perception if you want to see if.
• 26:50
  You believe him? I mean, I can, but I'm high.
• 26:53
  Quite human perception. He is telling the truth. 18
• 26:57
  Sweet. I believe whatever the fuck he
• 27:02
  says. Yeah, you rolled A crit too.
• 27:06
  You turn to the vending machine and it is completely filled with
• 27:10
  kibble of different flavors, including candy corn.
• 27:15
  And that's. Worse flavour.
• 27:16
  Even worse, it's leftover from Halloween.
• 27:20
  And there is also some candy cane flavoured one as well.
• 27:26
  They do have seasonal they they, they actually change it up in
• 27:29
  here. All of the different seasons of
• 27:31
  kibble are in this one. Why keeping this door locked?
• 27:34
  It's wedged, it just needs to be pushed open.
• 27:38
  Oh, I thought it was like one of those like.
• 27:40
  Sliding docks. Where you just had to put a
• 27:42
  little thing through the pinhole.
• 27:44
  No, it's a sliding door that he's like pushed off angle, so
• 27:47
  it needs to be because he's pushed it from the other side,
• 27:49
  it needs to be pushed from your side to line it back up.
• 27:54
  Nice. April's trying to do something
• 27:58
  and in between Retro and April, Devon kicks Roll for it.
• 28:03
  Custom martial art Kung Fu 19. Yes, the door flies open.
• 28:08
  A little bit of it smacks Nick in the face and he falls
• 28:11
  backwards. He's on the ground, on his butt.
• 28:15
  This Rockstar before you. Hey, Merry Christmas.
• 28:21
  Come with me if you want to live.
• 28:23
  Oh, that's a great like that. Very good inspiration for that.
• 28:31
  You can use that in the future market on your sheet.
• 28:35
  So are we going to go to the, are you going to like interview
• 28:37
  me again or some shit? Yeah, we're going to the we're
• 28:39
  going to the concert, we're going to get you there, and I'm
• 28:41
  going to interview you backstage.
• 28:44
  Awesome. All right.
• 28:45
  Let's go. They better have cookies there.
• 28:50
  A little pile into the car and he sits down in the back of the
• 28:54
  vent. That looks like me.
• 28:56
  That's weird. That's your mimic.
• 28:59
  Not anymore, that company sucks. Yeah, it does.
• 29:03
  Tell me about it. Hey, are you going to do like an
• 29:06
  expose on the mimics so the people don't buy them for
• 29:11
  Christmas because they're dangerous?
• 29:13
  We're going to, we're going to see about that.
• 29:15
  We're going to, we're going to see what, what, what all comes
• 29:17
  from this. We have so much Devon.
• 29:21
  Roll drive, land vehicle. Got you 13. 13 Yes, You are not
• 29:28
  early to the show. You are nearly on time.
• 29:32
  Here we go as per Rockstar. As per Rockstar, you get to the
• 29:38
  location of the stage door. As we get there, I am going to
• 29:43
  like confer with Nick and I'm going to say just confirming you
• 29:49
  are not going to throw me under the bus.
• 29:51
  You are going to be telling everyone that I saved you, that
• 29:55
  I am the reason why you are here, and you are going to make
• 29:59
  sure that I get my flowers for this.
• 30:03
  Yes. All right, just making sure that
• 30:06
  we're. Judging me for my past.
• 30:07
  I'm really turning over a new Christmas leaf.
• 30:10
  All right, you better prove this to me.
• 30:14
  It's my Christmas gift to everyone you know Christmas.
• 30:19
  All right, I'll be keeping an eye on you.
• 30:22
  Christmas eye, right? I'm bad at this.
• 30:25
  Absolutely don't be a ho ho ho. Right.
• 30:30
  See, This is why you get paid the big, the bigger monies.
• 30:34
  I'm all so bad at this. I'm not the writer.
• 30:37
  No, no, you're a rock star and let's get you on that stage.
• 30:42
  He's walking down the alley, waving at you.
• 30:44
  I'll. I'll see you after the show.
• 30:46
  Absolutely. The front door has tickets for
• 30:48
  you. Thanks so much.
• 30:51
  And he walks into the darkness of the stage door.
• 30:54
  You are left alone. You are after the show and you
• 30:58
  are left at the stage door with just a few minutes before this
• 31:01
  giant Christmas concert begins. You can hear the crowd ebbing
• 31:05
  through the walls and the Christmas music humming
• 31:09
  underneath it. You know guys, I've learned
• 31:14
  something today. When you do drugs and break up
• 31:19
  with the girlfriend, it's probably better to make sure she
• 31:22
  doesn't have access to a bunch of mimics that can come kill you
• 31:26
  at Christmas. It's.
• 31:27
  Trim, it's true, Yeah. It's really important not to be
• 31:31
  an asshole. It's also really important not
• 31:35
  to kill people. I didn't learn that lesson.
• 31:39
  I didn't learn that lesson at all.
• 31:41
  Well, I mean, cuz they'll probably try to kill you right
• 31:43
  back. You see that?
• 31:45
  That's that's where I was going with that.
• 31:49
  So succeed at killing people. Didn't.
• 31:52
  Yeah, make sure you kill them harder.
• 31:54
  OK, I'll be honest, April. I was waiting for the right
• 32:00
  moment. Yeah, the perfect time to ask
• 32:04
  you out on a date. However, I'm going to have to
• 32:09
  say no as I'm seeing somebody else right now.
• 32:13
  It's a very lovely librarian. I'm really proud of you.
• 32:17
  No, sorry, I can't. I cannot take your advances.
• 32:22
  I apologize. That's, that's just fine.
• 32:25
  That's but you know what? I'm, I'm honestly so flattered
• 32:28
  and, and you know, I'm, I really hope that you have a wonderful,
• 32:33
  wonderful, wonderful time with your librarian.
• 32:35
  That's that sounds sounds like you got a great thing going.
• 32:39
  We've been on two dates. It's going fine.
• 32:41
  I'm. Really excited for you.
• 32:43
  I thank you so much that. Sounds like that.
• 32:45
  Sounds like a problem bring bring banana phone.
• 32:52
  April, Hi. How's it going?
• 32:55
  How's the Nick guy? Was it a smooth thing?
• 32:58
  No like weird car chases or death in container.
• 33:03
  It was just as exciting as as we would all expect it to be.
• 33:08
  Awesome. That's great.
• 33:09
  Great. Well, don't forget to film an
• 33:11
  outro near the stage door. It's a good back shot, you know
• 33:14
  what I mean? Let's not read into the phrasing
• 33:17
  of that. Anyway, Merry Christmas,
• 33:19
  everyone. By everyone I mean you, April.
• 33:22
  Don't forget to say that at the end.
• 33:24
  And don't forget to do a bit for Mimic unless it turns out
• 33:27
  they're a terrible company in which you can expose them in
• 33:30
  your outro. Anyway, bye click.
• 33:34
  Bye, trust me so implicitly. What a weirdo.
• 33:47
  Retro You saddle up your camera and point it at April for a good
• 33:51
  shot, the first standing in front of the stage door.
• 33:54
  And. Hello, Night City.
• 34:01
  I'm April Anonymous Network 54. I'm standing here at Nick
• 34:07
  Santos's big holiday concert here, and I am honored to be one
• 34:17
  of his invited guests here in the VIP section.
• 34:21
  We are going to be backstage interviewing him later and I am
• 34:26
  just incredibly honored and grateful to have met him, to
• 34:31
  have spoken to him earlier, and to have gotten this amazing
• 34:35
  interview footage with him. However, I am unfortunately
• 34:40
  tasked with reporting to you right now live on the air.
• 34:45
  Me and Nick Santos, friend of my wonderful crew, we have
• 34:50
  discovered terrible, terrible news about the company running
• 34:56
  the Mimics. They are not all that they seem
• 35:00
  to be. So much information is coming
• 35:03
  forward, not only about the company itself, but this
• 35:08
  reporter has barely escaped with their life.
• 35:13
  More information to come. Nick and I are going to be
• 35:17
  speaking backstage. I have the exclusive scoop just
• 35:22
  for you, Night City. But in the meantime, let's enjoy
• 35:27
  this amazing concert. It's for a good cause.
• 35:30
  And remember, Silver bells, Silver bells, it's Christmas
• 35:36
  time in Night City. Good night, Night City.
• 35:45
  And you're clear. Thank you very much.
• 35:49
  Yeah, good job everybody. Round of applause for amazing.
• 36:08
  Amazing guest. Well done, we've done it.
• 36:11
  We've finished the adventure. We did it.
• 36:13
  That's a lot of ours. I'm going to edit.
• 36:17
  Hi friends, I actually am April Anonymous, not a reporter in
• 36:22
  Night City, but a streamer on Twitch and a content creator
• 36:26
  across the rest of the Internet. I do a lot of vlogs on YouTube,
• 36:32
  I do Tik Toks on TikTok, I do Instagrams on Instagram.
• 36:36
  So go follow me all of those different places.
• 36:39
  I have a lot of adventures in New York City and I actually do
• 36:44
  have a press pass and I actually do have crazy, crazy adventures
• 36:48
  there live on the streets. So if you enjoy my adventures
• 36:54
  here in Night City, you might just enjoy my adventures on the
• 36:58
  streets of New York City. I've had just the most amazing
• 37:03
  time guesting here on No latency this time and last time and then
• 37:09
  all of the cameos in between. Fingers crossed they have me
• 37:13
  back again. I'm always down to come back and
• 37:16
  I'm always honored whenever they give me the opportunity to play
• 37:20
  in their box. Thank you guys so much and
• 37:24
  hopefully I'll see you all soon. Bye.
• 37:26
  Yeah, you will. Thank you so much, April.
• 37:28
  We really appreciate you coming in.
• 37:30
  Literally anytime. Tommy the money she lost, lost
• 37:34
  his book. Neither.
• 37:35
  Never in between. My name is Lamar the con guy and
• 37:37
  it's LEMARD con guy. You can find me on all social
• 37:40
  media made before 20/23 at Lamar the Con Guy and like maybe Blue
• 37:44
  Sky if I give a shit. You can find me at
• 37:47
  lamartheconguy.com. I am a host.
• 37:50
  I am a comedian. I am a karaoke host.
• 37:53
  I am a singer. I do whatever gets me the most
• 37:57
  attention with the least amount of money of my own stuff.
• 38:03
  Find me doing things. Look, the more you know what I
• 38:07
  really need you guys to do? Follow me on Instagram.
• 38:09
  I need, I need so many more followers so that brands will
• 38:13
  send me free shit. Your follows gets me free shit.
• 38:20
  So please follow me so I can get free shit.
• 38:24
  Yes, please also follow the no Latency Instagram as well for
• 38:28
  the same reason. Follow us.
• 38:29
  All the Instagram links would be in the description.
• 38:31
  Oh yeah, by the way, I had a freaking blast.
• 38:33
  I love playing Devin. The worst exec in that city, but
• 38:37
  the best brawler somehow. Yeah, you guys, you guys were
• 38:42
  spicy today. Yeah, you did a great job.
• 38:43
  Thank you so much for being here.
• 38:46
  And Evan? I mean, what's there to say?
• 38:48
  Hi, I'm Evan Christopher, your local drugged up tech robot head
• 38:56
  guy. You can find me here at no
• 38:59
  latency. You can find any of the now
• 39:03
  recent homebrew drops of no protocol that we've been
• 39:09
  releasing and soon to be releasing more steadily
• 39:13
  throughout the Patreon, which is free.
• 39:15
  It is free if you the. Documents are all free as part
• 39:18
  of the Patreon, you can just download them.
• 39:21
  We also have another podcast if you get sick of all the cyber,
• 39:25
  you know futuristic stuff where I play DND with my friends and
• 39:31
  we create a whole world and I get to take binary spot and
• 39:34
  everybody gets to ruin my stuff. I also.
• 39:39
  It's called Save the D8. It is called save the D8.
• 39:42
  I forgot what it was called. Thank you for that.
• 39:45
  To mention the thing that you are talking.
• 39:49
  About I have the socials of of Instagram and Twitter, and I
• 39:56
  also sometimes stream on twitch. Don't expect it to be all the
• 40:00
  time because I'm very bad at that and but it.
• 40:03
  Is pretty good and you can find retro@retro.tv DATV.
• 40:08
  Yes, and you want just hey, thanks fans.
• 40:13
  I always enjoy doing the Christmas one shots.
• 40:17
  It's my favorite one to do every year.
• 40:20
  In my personal opinion, we get the best guess for Christmas.
• 40:24
  I get to have the most fun. I get to create all kinds of
• 40:27
  Christmas mayhem with all the Christmas puns.
• 40:31
  And you know, honestly, you all get to make that happen for me.
• 40:36
  So you know what, who cares about my stuff?
• 40:39
  Thank you. Thank you so much to all of our
• 40:42
  guests and of course Evan for joining us here at No Latency
• 40:45
  for our Christmas One Shot for the Real Human year of 2025.
• 40:50
  Thank you so much, all of our listeners for joining us every
• 40:54
  Wednesday here at No Latency. You can find more information
• 40:57
  about the show at nolatencypodcast.com.
• 40:59
  You can also get a few extra goodies on our Patreon,
• 41:02
  including free stuff if you just want to join, but also some fun
• 41:05
  paid behind the scenes content as well, as well as exclusive
• 41:09
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• 41:13
  documents as well. So go and check it out.
• 41:16
  We've got lots and lots of fun things for you to enjoy to add a
• 41:19
  little bit of no latency to your home here.
• 41:21
  I joined the Patriot. But that's it from us here at No
• 41:24
  LATENCY, and we'll see you next time in Night City.
• 41:28
  Merry Christmas. Good night Night City and good
• 41:33
  luck Night City. Gang, gang.
• 41:37
  Gang, gang. Oh yeah, this is my Tim Gunn
• 42:10
  impression. I love what you've done with the
• 42:12
  stitching here. It's.
• 42:14
  So great. Thank you listener once again
• 42:19
  for joining us here at No Latency.
• 42:21
  Don't forget to check out all of our socials links available in
• 42:24
  the podcast description. Check out our website at
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• 42:49
  listening. We literally couldn't do this
• 42:51
  without you. Thanks Jim, it means a lot.
• 42:55
  Have a good week and we'll see you next time in Night City.