Latest / PITSTOP With The Diers Ford/Lincoln Auto Amigos / Pitstop Episode 1: Family
Transcript
- Diers: And want to start out today. First of all, a little, what we call housekeeping. I want to thank the cart company, our drink sponsor, the cart and co downtown Fremont, Nebraska. And she prepared these drinks for us. Her name's Erica. Great lady. Very nice. Great coffee. We were down there this morning to pick these up and also got a coffee. Yes. Mine was great. Mine was delicious. I didn't get a coffee this morning. got a Wava Matcha and it was delicious. What's Wava? Wava is a fruit. It has a lot of seeds, grows on a tree and it has different colors depending on which type of Wava it is. But it's delicious. Super sweet. Super good. ⁓ If you haven't tried it, you should try it. Well, especially you said super sweet. So right away, I'm sure people are thinking that probably fit Tony. And, ⁓ but we were in there and the thing I can really taste the coffee. And so I liked that. We're kind of, we've been to a lot of different coffee shops and, and they've all been great. But Erica's coffee was excellent. I could really taste the coffee and I liked that. So thank you, Erica. We appreciate that. Stop in and see your downtown Fremont. The other thing I want to do, if you take a look in here, obviously you're going to notice it's different. We remodeled. And yeah, we went to see our friends down at Abe Krasny's homes furnishings downtown Fremont right across from the cart and Co. And Howard's always great to us. Got us set up here and they had this furniture to us the next day. so yesterday, excuse me, yesterday was, was move stuff in, move stuff out and try and get it to ⁓ just somewhere we feel more comfortable, a little more. laid back talking to you and I think this is it Fernando. I think so. Tony, these chairs are so comfortable. If we happen to fall asleep while we're doing this, please forgive us because they are comfortable. And we sat in quite a few, but I can tell you if you go down to Krasnys, they got something for you and ⁓ they've always been great, great partner to Dears Ford. Shout out to you Howard and your team. you very much. We appreciate it. We're gonna give him some applause. I was going to start clapping and then that ended. I want to talk to you today about something very important to me. I know it is to Fernando also and big believer in family and fortunate that my wife and my daughters, their husband, fiance, boyfriend, we got three different routes going on at my house right now. We got one that's married. one that's engaged to get married in October. And then our youngest, I just have a feeling that might be coming soon, that ⁓ might be a big question in the works, but ⁓ very fortunate. We're very close. We always have been. And I think that goes back to the way that I grew up. And some of my favorite memories, Fernando, I know you've heard me talk about this, is I used to sit on the front porch with my grandmother and grandpa. who lived right across the street from us, which was great. And ⁓ I used to go sit on the porch with them. And my grandpa passed away when I was fairly young, but I can remember the stories he would tell. But I just loved it. And all we did was sit there and enjoy the weather, enjoyed each other's company, talked about every car that went by. My grandma had a comment for everybody who drove by. And then at some point we usually get up, in the car and we go for a ride out in the country. But honestly, some of my most favorite memories, memories I cherish with my grandparents. And I think that carried over into my family. I think so. I've seen your family. Your family is a wonderful family. ⁓ And I know that you used to tell me how your grandma would make these amazing pies. ⁓ so you would just walk over to her house and get some pies. ⁓ Thank God that doesn't show on me that I know. Of course not. Of course not. But ⁓ yeah, family is a huge part of I think the Midwest ⁓ has a huge family culture. I know for sure. And my side of the world in Mexico, ⁓ family is a huge thing for us. And we tend to stay very close. There's always problems between family members and stuff, but more than anything, we, we tend to ⁓ keep that family bond together and the, ⁓ the culture, the values, everything is just wonderful to be able to rely and see a close knit family. And I can tell you, and I can, I know this because Fernando and I, you know, do the Amigos on the go. We also do posts and things and his father likes everything. Everything. My dad will, every time he calls me in the afternoon, he will tell me, ⁓ I saw you were doing this. ⁓ I saw you were doing that. ⁓ I saw that you made this comment. ⁓ I saw this. He will watch every single video. Not that his mom doesn't, but let me, let me tell you why that's big. Did your dad have social media before you started doing this? You know, the funny thing was that my dad would use my social media when I was younger, So he because you know, when I grew up, social media started being a thing, right? ⁓ So the younger people would always get the social media before the adults. Well, my dad started getting in social media because people back in Mexico would get social media. it was a easy way for each other to see each other, right? ⁓ So my dad would use my social media until I got tired of it and I was like, stop using my Facebook account. So I made him a sound. So my dad has had, you know, social media for a while. I didn't make him a TikTok last year before I started doing this, but he's still pretty new with it. But he's proud of his son. ⁓ yeah. Yeah. He's just proud of his son. And so I always I always notice his likes and if he I don't know if he's commented I don't know if I've seen it. He doesn't comment. He doesn't like to comment much, but he'll see everything. Yeah. Well, that's great. I always you know, I was an educator and a coach, you know for 32 years and one thing that I always enjoyed was seeing parents that were really proud of their kids and you see them at everything and even when they're Their kids weren't a star. They didn't necessarily play a great deal, but mom and dad were there. And you'd always see the kids looking in the stands to see if mom and dad were there, grandma and grandpa. And so I love seeing that. The only time I didn't is when, when mom and dad tried to coach too much and, and just, just let them play. Just let them play and enjoy it. And I know in every family you have roles, you know, in their structure and You know, in our family, and Brendan and I, and I think it's just, Brendan's just too kindhearted. You know, I'm probably a little meaner, but I was a disciplinarian in our. You don't say. I would have never guessed that. I know you're shocked. I can tell. But, you know, it was important to me when we were raising our kids that they understood this is acceptable. This is not. And one of the things that I always thought about and Because when I'd see it, it bothered me. I never wanted to leave anywhere and have people feel like, thank God they're gone because their kids are brats. That would hurt me more than being the disciplinarian. And being the disciplinarian is not a fun thing. And there's many times I went in the other room and I wanted to cry because I didn't like having to be the bad guy. Not fun at all. Or when I see one of the girls would fall down and get hurt and they rummed to mom because... Mom says, you're get a nanny of that love. Yeah. She's a sweetheart, you know, and that, you know, that's kind of hard at times, but I think as a parent, you have to remember why. Because I'm so proud of them now. They're all great. Two of my daughters are speech pathologists, speech and language pathologists. They were very good students. You know, they were involved in a lot of different things. And our youngest daughter owns her own hair salon. and has really found her niche and we're really proud of all of them. And I think, ⁓ you know, it started with us. You know, we are the ones who have to teach them, this is how you operate in your life, you know, and this is the direction we want you to go and we're going to support you. But I think they've made good choices and I'm just really proud of them. But, you know, and I know you know this because I've heard you talk about your grandpa. and how much of a role he played in your family. it starts somewhere. And you try and teach your kids, hey, when you have kids, this is important. And I see my daughter doing this with my grandkids now. So I'm proud of her in that way too, because she understands her role. And that's to be their parent. And not necessarily their friend, but you need to be their parent. You need to teach them and you need to guide them. I always enjoy listening to, ⁓ because you said a lot of your family in Mexico lived close. ⁓ yeah, man. overall, I mean, the town is imagine North Bend, right? North Bend, Nebraska. North Bend, Nebraska. ⁓ So the town is now pretty spread out, right? So every time I would want to go visit any of my cousins, I would just walk to their house. That would be a few blocks away. My grandma lived a block away from me. So it was, everything was close and we would see each other every day. You know, for the better or for the worse. But we have always been a really close family. Now would your grandpa discipline you? My grandpa, yes. Man, I remember when I was a kid and I was, because I would always, I was always outside, right? I was always playing outside. We didn't have video games back then. At least now where I'm from, I didn't have a phone. So I was always outside playing with friends, going around town and I was always on my bike and my grandpa, there's one time I turned the street in the corner a little too fast and my grandpa was coming with a group of his friends in a truck and I almost ran into the truck. So my grandpa got out of the truck and just walked me down to my house and told my mom, you better get this kid back inside before he dies. But my grandpa has always been very, ⁓ you know, very loving, but very hard at the same time. Very tough. So, yeah, he's very much the disciplinarian in the family. No, I would tell you this. ⁓ I have a little harder time being the hard, you know, the bad guy with my grandson, granddaughter. And I don't, you know, I think you have a different role as a grandparent is still to teach him those values and those beliefs that been a part of your family. And so, you know, obviously when we have the grandkids, know, it's Tatum, she's way too young to have to listen, you know, worry about that. Pearson's at, you know, he's almost three. And so he has his moments, you know, and ⁓ we still try and, you know, hold him to the expectations I know his parents have for him. But, you know, it's a little harder when it's a grandkid, not your kid. You know, I feel like the grandparent role is more of a guidance than being tough on them ⁓ because that's always what my grandpa did. was more of a, you shouldn't do this or that, or maybe, hey, see this a different way instead of being like, you know, on me the whole time. So it's just more different role. the grandparents should not. Intermingle with the or intervene with what the parents are saying because that's not their job, right? Well, and I you know, it's hard but we don't do that and Because I believe that's up to them Now I know, you know, I'm fortunate that my daughter and son. I really think they have The same kind of expectations they they believe in the same things we did Yeah, as far as how your kids conduct themselves manners And manners are huge to me. You know, I think you say, please and thank you. I think you say, you're welcome. And I just think that's important. And I see that, you know, one of the things my grandson will say is, you're so welcome. Which I asked my daughter, I go, I don't know where he got that, but that's pretty awesome. And he's got, of course, his mom's a speech and language pathologist, he's got a great vocabulary, he's very smart. And so I'm always just really proud to see that they're doing this with their kids. They understand that they're their parents and they set boundaries. You know, and if, you know, I know my wife would always say, ⁓ my gosh, the girls will do it. You say it one time and they do it. Well, they knew I was only going to say it one time and then you're in trouble. And I think my daughter and son along are really good with that. And what was your, what was your keys? I mean, did you get a look? Or did you know, I'm going to tell you one time and you better, you better do this or you're to be in trouble. You know, my mom, my mom would say something right. And I definitely didn't listen to her the first time. But my dad, if he said something, now that was it. You know, it has always been like that with either my, my grandpa or my dad, where he would, they would say something and all right, that's it. ⁓ I remember with my grandpa even I was I don't know 19 years old right and there was I went back to Mexico for vacation that that winter and there was like a dance in town right concert or whatever and I was I was there dancing with this girl And my grandpa, and it was like, I don't know, 1030 at night, somewhere around there, 11. My grandpa went to the dance and, you know, tapped me on the shoulder and I turn around and I'm like, I'm gathering he wasn't trying to, you know, step in. No, no, he wasn't trying to take the girl out to dance. No, he tapped on my shoulder. I turned and I saw who he was and I'm like, ⁓ no. And my grandpa was like, it's time to go. And I looked back at my grandpa, I looked back at the girl and I said, alright, it's time to go. And then I took off. And I did, ⁓ on the way back home, I was trying to tell him, hey, know, it's okay, I'll just go home later. But no, there was no avoiding the fact that it was time to go. And you know, I understood that. Pretty embarrassing though. You know, we had curfews for our kids and there are no exceptions. Now I don't know that their mother was as good at that as their father, but you know, if I say you're going to be home at this time, you better be home. And if you're not, for every minute you're late, that phone is mine for a day for each minute. Would you wait out for them? ⁓ absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. I could not sleep until my kids were home because my, my, my, my dad, my mom would fall asleep. Well, she wouldn't fall asleep. She always, she was always awake, but she was always in the room. My dad would wait for me in the living room. And as soon as I walked through the door, that light would go right on. And so I knew never to be late. Yeah. And Brenda was The scene at our house would be Brenda sleeping on the couch and dad sitting in the recliner watching TV. I just couldn't sleep till they were home. today when they come home, you know, and they're 31, you know, 27, and if they're not yet, they're going to be. And I Emily just turned 25. And so, you know, they're adults. They're young adults. And when they're home, I still stay up. I cannot sleep until they're home. And our youngest one time, said, she was putting her shoes on and she was staying with us at the time. And she was in beauty school and it's about 1030. And I said, where are you going? I was going to go meet some friends. And I go, at 1030? Well, dad, this is when everybody goes. And I said, great. Now I'm going to be up till what? 1.30, two o'clock? She said, why would you wait up? I said, because I cannot sleep until you get home. And she said, well, if I wasn't here, and I was still living in Lincoln, you wouldn't know. go, exactly. But you are here, and I do know. And so that was just me. But I also knew, they knew I was going to be sitting there when they got home, that their mother would be sleeping on their couch, but she'd wake up, that we were going to be awake when they came home. And so I think that helped them make better decisions about what they were doing. you know, I, I, I did not really have a curfew when I was a kid. And, ⁓ but when my friends went home, I went home, you know, so most of the time that didn't come into play and I was down the street one night. I mean, I was, I was two blocks away and I was with one of my buddies and we were, we weren't doing anything. We were just talking and You know, I didn't think it was that late, but I turned and I said, well, what time is it? And he said, it's five o'clock. And I go, ⁓ my God, I got to get home. And so I jump in my car, drive two blocks down the street and the lights on and my mom's sitting in there. Five o'clock in the morning? Yes. she's waiting for me, which is not. That's not what usually happened. Usually they were in bed, but I think she realized I wasn't home and now she's worried and she stayed up. So I'm outside at five o'clock in the morning and I see her sitting in there and, you know, being a quick thinker, I run up the stairs and I throw the door open, I run in the house and I say, don't pay the ransom. I escaped. And my mom didn't think that was that funny. I thought it was extremely funny and she said, that's ridiculous. You could have called and I said, mom, it's a little hard to call when you're tied up. And she goes, yeah, just keep going there. She goes, wait till your father hears about this. So the next day I'm coming down the stairs and I hear her my dad, he runs in the house and says, don't pay the ransom. I escaped. And my dad started laughing and my mom says, that's not funny. And if you start laughing when you're talking to him, we're going to have a problem. But now I know I got him and I walk in the dining room and I, my dad says, what times you get home last night? And I said, you know, dad, I was just so happy to be free. I didn't even look at the time. And my dad started laughing and my mom got up and she was mad. She leaves the room and now I'm in trouble. But I think it was, I think I was in more trouble because she didn't, she, she didn't think that was funny. And she was mad at him, so now I'm in trouble because of that. And certainly coming home at five in the clock in the morning was not good. But we weren't doing anything bad. I just didn't get home. You know, those things happen. Um, did you, do you have a phone back then to give them a call? Fernando. There were no cell phones. what I thought. Yeah, you knew that age thing. Well, it's a little hard to call home and say, Hey, I'm going to be a little late. And you know, there's no phones readily available. There were no phones of it. Now his mom and dad had a phone I could have called. I didn't think anybody'd be up, you know, but, ⁓ you know, one of the things that, that I think's important is when you do have a problem, you know, like coming home at five in the morning. ⁓ and I, and I don't, I think it was kind of the era. You know, I just got chewed on and moved on. We tried to talk to our kids more about why, you know, why, why this is important to us. You know, why should you die? I was that dad. I told my girls, we had a conversation about everything. I just wanted them to know where the lines were. And I also wanted them know why we felt that way. And, you know, I said, you know, when you're young, and I certainly made a lot of mistakes, but these are the problems and this is where it can lead. And so we want you to make good decisions. And so we talked about that. But the other thing, when our girls came home each day, one thing we tried to do is say, how was your day? What was good? What was bad? And so we'd sit and talk to them. But that's when you always knew if there was something wrong. Because on those good days, they were happy and they sat down and talked to us about the good and the bad. But if they had that day, that wasn't so good, you could tell. And so it gave us an opportunity to visit about those things. One day, our oldest daughter comes home. And when your dad's a football coach and a teacher at the school, it's a little harder. And she come home one day, and she doesn't say anything. She just drops her bags, hi, and goes downstairs. So she didn't sit down and talk to us like we normally did. And my wife looks at me, and she goes, uh-oh. And so I went downstairs and I said, what's wrong? And she starts crying and she goes, nobody will ask me to homecoming because they're all scared of you. ⁓ And I said, that's a good thing. She goes, no, it's not dad. go, well, you sure it's me? yeah, those were, yeah, but ⁓ you had to throw that out, you know, and that's one of those hard things for, you know, as a father, because it probably. Somewhat was probably true, you know, that when your dad's a football coach and I think at that time I was the athletic director too. So yeah, I think some guys shied away from them and because they're all pretty girls, you know, and they're nice girls, but sometimes they just didn't get invited to things because your dad works at the school. Yeah. I can see that happening. ⁓ She's going to tell her dad and then you were. You were the only child in your home. Yes, I was. Does that make it easier or harder? On whose part? On my part or my parents? What I'm talking about is, did you feel like maybe you were spoiled? That you got away with a little more than some of your friends? Or do you think being the only child, you got all the attention on good and bad, what's going to be good, what's going to be bad? You know, being an only child is a lot of pressure. I don't think people realize the amount of pressure only childs have just because you're the only one. You can't rely on your brothers or sisters or whatever for family matters. Just you, right? And growing up, I mean, ⁓ you do feel pretty lonely. You see, you know, your friends and everything they have, brother, brothers and sisters, they fight all the time, but you know, it's between them and Obviously, it's not as bad, right? And you don't have any of that. ⁓ But, you know, because of my parents, I don't think I was spoiled just because we didn't have the money for me to be spoiled. Otherwise, maybe, could have possibly, yes. But my parents do their best to take care of me and, you know, give me everything I needed. But I don't think I was spoiled to my knowledge. Now, here's here's one of the hard things. You didn't have anybody to split the chores with. No, I did everything. Yeah, it was all me. You know, my well, the thing was that since my mom was a stay at home mom, she she did a lot of a lot of the stuff. ⁓ So I didn't have. whole lot of chores to take care of. had my normal chores, they take out the trash, all of that stuff. But since my mom was there most of the day, I didn't have an extreme amount of chores. She did a lot of that work too. Now, one thing similar with both of us, you didn't come for money. No, I didn't either. And so we worked hard to try and make extra money. And we had a garbage route on the weekends. I'm from Peru, Nebraska. I think we hauled everybody's garbage in town. And back then it was the old burn barrels. You had to throw those up on a pickup and they stink. But my dad would wake us up at five in the morning and we would go haul garbage, Saturday and Sunday. And we split firewood and we sold firewood. And so you'd have to split wood. Didn't have a log splitter, so you had to do it by hand. And you know, it was really hard work and I hated it. In the winter, we removed snow. My dad would plow. We did the grade school in town. We did some businesses. And then we did some homes. And we would scoop the sidewalks while my dad plowed with the tractor. And so I didn't like snow either. But the one thing I will tell you, and I told my dad this because my dad said years later in life, he said, I wish I could have gave you more. And I said, I don't think you realize what you did give us because a lot of parents don't teach your kids how to work hard. And you taught us that. And that's the best gift that you can give your kids. Giving your kids money and things, that's nice. If you can afford to do that, that's nice that you can provide. I would always tell people to remember the best thing you can teach them is how to work. because quite frankly, working in education, I saw some kids that didn't know how to work. Nobody had taught them. Here's your responsibilities. Here's how you get what you want in life. And that's hard work. Because the greatest thing about our country is you can be whatever you want to be if you're willing to work hard enough. And so God bless my father for teaching us how to work hard because he was a hardworking guy and he was that way until he passed away. ⁓ But I think that's a great gift. Yes, 100%. ⁓ My dad never had, you know, those side jobs per se, like your dad did where you picked up the garbage and all that. But. I mean, I did notice, you know, how my parents. They didn't struggle, but I mean, there we could have had more money for sure. Right. So I started working when I was 13 years old. I think. or 12, something like that. During the summers, I did roofing. I worked for a company. I just picked up the trash. I started just picking up trash or handing them, you know, tools or whatever. So I could make money. So I didn't have to, you know, ⁓ ask my parents for money for like lunch for school or stuff like that. I use my own money. Again, similar. Yeah. I always had to find ways to work. Not that I had to, but I wanted to. buy your own car? I did. I did buy my own car. ⁓ It was an old, I bought it from my dad because he ⁓ had this old car. So you paid way too much. It was a lot. I mean, back then cars were not that expensive, right? So it was an old car. was an old ⁓ Chevy Malibu. ⁓ And it ran for a few years until it just gave out. ⁓ But yeah, I I found ways to work and found ways to make money. So I didn't have to bother my parents as much. And I did that too. And one of the biggest reasons was I knew my mom and dad didn't have a lot. And I knew, you know, it was struggle for them to pay their bills. And so you don't want to be a burden. And so I was always worried about that. that I'd be a burden, so I didn't want that on them. And I bought my own first car and bought it from one of my friend's sister who got a new car, but she paid for herself. She worked at Burger King right over here next to us. No, really? Yes, yeah. And they were a hardworking family too. And the year I grew up, then it was more common. think kids worked, and they worked hard. And so with our daughters, you one of the things we had told them is we'll pay half the car, not paying for the whole thing, because you need to have ownership because you're going to take better care of it. If you have a stake in the game, not me just giving you this. And, and I think that was true. I think they were very proud. You know, they, I would not say they kept the interior great. You know, it was. wasn't always as as their father would like to have seen it. And I would say to them at times, hey, I can go out and get that for you out of the car. And they're like, no, dad, I'll go get it. They didn't want me to see the interior because then I was going to lecture them about you this much on this car and that's how you treat it. they were pretty good with that. They'd wash them. And still to this day, our daughter, Kylie, just bought a car here a couple of years ago. Emily bought a car when she started going to beauty school and they made those payments. you know, and they paid their insurance and obviously with Alexis and Derek being married, you know, they just got a used vehicle that knew to them. It's a nice car too. It is a nice car, but, and I think they got it at the ears. Yes, they did. I'll use Lincoln Navigator. Very nice ride. And they bought it from, we knew the customer, Brandon knew the customer and he said they took great care of this. so. That's one of the nice things about working at the dealership is you know who had it. ⁓ And so I think they've always been very good at that. They've always been very responsible. And thank God they're like their mother because they are good savers. Their father always said, well, you know, we should go buy this. And, my wife was really good about pulling in the reins. ⁓ But, you know, the other thing that happens in life is life changes. Yes. Sometimes you have different challenges and that can change that structure in the family, the roles in the family and things. ⁓ We've been fortunate that we've all had good health and I think we've always been good communicators with each other. ⁓ Not that we haven't had those times where we're not. ⁓ you adjust and move on. you've heard me talk about this with our leadership team here. And you've heard me talk to our interns about this. And this is one thing I learned about, you know, when you're in coaching and when you're an athlete, everything is about making adjustments, evaluating and adjust, evaluate and adjust. And I have to do that with your kids. I think you have to do that in your marriage. Yeah. Although you wouldn't know that. Pernal is single, by the way, those of you watching. So, you know, that's just, and someday you're going to experience that as a father, as a husband. You know, you're going to have those things. And life's going to be good and bad, you know, not everything's rosy, but how you adjust and evaluate. But you have to continue to do that all the time. And I mean, you're going to come into a great part of your life someday. No big hurry. I think I was 28 when I got married and I got a few more years. got some time, but I would say always evaluate. Sometimes the best thing to do is maybe go out and take a walk before you blow up. I wasn't always great at that. Sometimes that mad gets the best of me. ⁓ as I got older, I was, I think I was better at that. I try and get myself in the right mode before I did those things. But always adjust, always communicate and talk with each other. But I think the biggest thing with kids and your partner is know where the lines are at. Where are the lines? What's acceptable? What's not acceptable? And don't move that line. You can't move that line around all the time because then they don't know what to expect. And so I was always really good at that. And I think that... Being a coach and teacher helped me a great deal with that because in my classroom, if my kids didn't know these are the rules, if they were always changing, then how could I expect them to follow them? And so it's the same way when you're a parent, you know, if my kids don't know where the lines are at, where the rules are, then how can I expect them to follow them? And so like I said, you're gonna have that fun going through that someday. For sure. ⁓ You know, when you're talking about your kids knowing where the lines are at. mean, when you're a kid, you know that your parents going to say no to certain things. And you already know ahead of time, like you don't even have to ask them, you just know that that's going to be a no. Yeah, but you're going to check. You always check, you never know. Maybe you catch him in a good mood and they say, sure, why not? But yeah, those lines definitely have to be set. And I think sometimes it's hard to set those lines. What do you think? What do you say? You know, that's kind of a hard question. I guess, again, you go back to history and your family. knew where the lines were. I had more siblings. I had five brothers and one sister. And so you see some of that. I was kind of in the middle. But you see some of what your parents went through with that. I think I tended to try and be more of the pleaser, but I also had some siblings that made it easier for me because they were no angels. In fact, ⁓ they made me look like an angel and that was not the case at all. ⁓ I think the history of your family plays a big role in that, the background you come from, like your grandpa. And so I kind of knew where the lines were and so as a parent then, I had an idea, know, especially as a teacher, when you're dealing with kids, because there's, I'm going to tell you that, you know, I try to be mean, but I'd have some kids that I have problem with. And then I'd sit down with their parents at parent teachers conferences and I'd go, okay, now I get it. Makes sense. That apple did not fall far from the tree. And then now also on the other side of that, you know, I see these great kids. And then when you sit down with their parents, you understood why. You know, and I had a situation one time. had a young man who, and I'm going to tell you this when I tell you stories about kids, the great thing about kids, they grow up. And most of them become really good people. You know, you do things when you're a kid that is just part of being young. Sometimes it's not the wisest decisions. But I had a young man in class that I would kick out of my class almost daily. And if you can't get along with me, I think there's a reason. Because I get along with a lot of kids, but everybody has some you don't. And this young man and I did not get along very well. And I'm that guy that, here's the rules, if all the rules will be great. And he'd push my buttons. He liked to. It was a game for him. And so he got kicked out quite a bit. And parent-teacher conferences, his mother comes walking in with our assistant principal. ⁓ So I know she's been. in his office talking to her or him about me. And so they come in, my desk is right there in the front, and she sits down at my table, and the assistant principal stands about 15 feet away straight out from my table. So she just starts yelling at me. And I took about 20 seconds of that because I'm not good at taking that. And I said, you need to stop. And she says, what? I said, stop. She said, what? I said, that kid has not lived in my house one day of his life. She said, what are you talking about? I said, it's not my fault. He can't follow the rules. That would be on you. And she got up and slammed the chair and walked out. And I thought, this isn't going to go very good. And assistant principal walks over and leans down and he's from New Jersey. So he's got kind of an accent. And he leans down and he goes, coach, all good. That's the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life. That kid's not lived in his. in my house one day of his life. And I said, you know, Ed, maybe not the right thing to say. But if she would have said, how do we fix this? Then I would try and help her figure out, you know, how do we fix this? But when you want to sit down and blame me, you know, that he did not live in my house. I'm not the one who did not teach him how to follow rules. And, you know, I think that's our job as parents is here's the lines. We talked about the lines and the rules. And if you do a good job with that, you know, because I can tell you right now, if I was getting kicked out of class and I had to go home and tell my mom and dad about that, they're not going to be in the school talking to them about what's their problem. They're going to be talking to me about what's my problem. And I'm not saying there's never a situation where you don't need to go in and have a discussion, but it should always be, how can we fix this? Because I can guarantee you as his teacher, I wanted to fix it. I wanted him to be a good student in my class. I wanted him to be in my classroom. And so it wasn't, it wasn't a situation where I was trying to get rid of it or I didn't care about the young man. But there's rules and you're going to follow them. My parents never once, not even once blamed the teacher for any of my grades or any of the stuff that I did. They were always, what were you doing? What were you doing for the teacher to do or say this about you? And it didn't happen often guys. It didn't happen often, but you know, once in a while it did happen that we know. Yeah. But no, my parents never blamed ⁓ any of the school administrators or teachers. They were always on me. And I mean, you have to, I think you have to ask your kid first what happened. And then don't go in there and just start yelling at people. makes no sense. How can we fix this? Yeah. What's going on? What's your take on it? What can we do at home to help you? And here's what you can do here to help us. Right. And that's really what it is. It's a partnership. You know, we're here to educate your child and we want good things for them. I guarantee you, ⁓ the people in that school want good things for your kids. Absolutely. I don't think a teacher would become a teacher. They weren't looking out for the kids. the one thing now, let me ask you this. Did your mom and dad, were they good at saying, love you? Hey, good night, Fernando. We love you. No, no, they weren't good at it. Yeah. I don't think so. That era, that era. Yeah. I knew they loved me. I just didn't hear it often. I mean, I think I hear it more now that I'm older than back then when I was when I was a kid. My father, very old school, very hard nose. I knew he loved me. Could not say that, you know, and I was they had taken me to airport. was I went to Midland University, which back then was Midland Lutheran College. Big shout out to them. And they were taking they take me to the airport to fly back and. My dad would always just hit me on the shoulder and say, take care, bud. And so, you know, I think I was going into my senior year and I just wondered what he would do. So I grabbed him and hugged him because we're not big huggers, you know, with the guy, you know, the guy shake hands. That's how my dad was. But I grabbed him and hugged him and he's looking around to see if anybody saw it. ⁓ So I kind of enjoyed that because I was a little hungry and But I always knew he loved me. And my mom would say that. But the first time I ever heard my father say, love you is when he knew he was not going to make it. And it was weird. I mean, it felt weird and it shouldn't, but it did because I'd never heard that. And so I have always been with my daughters. I tell them I love them all the time. I just, I just want them to know, you know, And so, you know, I don't want to wait till a bad situation before. And I know they know I do. But, and my wife, you know, like I said, she's really tenderhearted. She still cries when they leave. It may be a time like, hey, we're going to see him again next weekend. And then she'll look at me and go, stop it. know, when we took, oh my God, when we took him to college. Worst day ever and ⁓ especially the first one, you know, not that you love them more It's the first time we've gone through that And I would say and she went to UNO, you know, ma so she's she wasn't far away she's 50 minutes and we move her into the dorm and ⁓ And I finally and Brenda kept coming up with reasons why we needed to stay we need to help her do this I go no, we need to leave, you know, our roommates are here. We just need to go She can do this. We've got all this other stuff done. We just need to go." And she started crying. So then Alexis, who tends to be like her father, kind of starts jabbing her mom a little bit, giving her a hard time. And then she's like, you both need to stop it. But we get to the car, and then we're leaving, and then it got to me. it was more about not how far they are. Not that we're not gonna see her often. It was just knowing everything's gonna change. Everything in our life was gonna be different. And for her too, you know? And so I think that's the hard part. isn't how far they are, it's just knowing there's a change. And you know, people would change, right? Yeah. Yeah, people, hardest thing for people is change. Yeah. And so that was hard. then, you know, but we could walk across the street and I think Brendan start crying, you know? Why? She loves them a great deal and I do too. know, but we love having them home. We love seeing them. And that's where we've been fortunate is that they're all close enough. We get to see them often and we still sit on the front porch. We still get on the Ranger and go for a ride and just have talks. But it's that time we have together. And we're going to have to start wrapping this up, but family, family is hard. It's not always the easiest thing to deal with, but you always got to make sure that from the beginning, ⁓ you try your best to raise your kids with manners in a family setting. I think everything is easy. You don't know where the lines are. I don't know what those are, where those lines are at, because the older they get, the harder it is to set those lines. So, you know, it's So make sure of a lot of things and it's a mixture of, you know, your values, but you got to set those, that tone in your family. And I'd like to finish up with this because, you know, if you ever listened to Fernando and I, you know that this is big to me and this is why our first podcast, this is what we're talking about. And ⁓ because I think it's so important to raise a strong family and the things he talked about. Let them know where the lines are, but let them also know there's nothing we can't work through. There's nothing we can't talk about and work through in life. But also teach your kids responsibility. Teach them how to work hard. He talked about how my father taught us that. The best gift you can give them is teach them how to work hard. And then talk to them every day about how was your day. And if you don't have time that day, then do it tomorrow. The biggest thing is be there. Be present for your kids. And with work and things, I understand that sometimes it doesn't work. But if you make that effort the majority of times, they notice. They're going to notice that you are there. then I think all that builds a strong family unit. And ⁓ then as you get older in life and those kids move away and you have grandkids, they're going to want to come home just because. You had that closeness. And those are going to be the best times of your life as you get older, is the time with your kids and your grandkids and your family. So I think one of the great things about Deers Ford, we have a good family atmosphere here and we care about each other. And that's built through respect and also knowing where the lines are at. But just with the idea of we want people to be happy. So we want you to be happy. We want your family to be happy. want you to have a great family. We want you to have a great life. And before we take off, I do want to say, take your family to the Cardenco. This coffee was delicious. So thank you so much to the Cardenco for sponsoring the drinks. I want to say this. I really enjoyed this. Yes. And I'm not a cold coffee guy, but I really enjoyed this. In fact, I was wishing I had a bigger bottle. Yes. I didn't want to finish it because I was savoring it the whole time, but it was delicious. I had a bigger bottle. I would have had more. But thank you so much for today's sponsor of the drinks. Thank you so much for watching. Keep tuning in to the pit stop with the Auto Amigos. Guys, we're gonna have more people here in the future. We're gonna have more guests. We're gonna have more lives and we're gonna have more topics. And we'll see you again next week. We're gonna do this once a week and we'll be filming on Thursdays. We'll release it on Fridays and they can see that where. It's gonna be on Facebook and YouTube and in the future. Keep an eye out for Spotify and maybe Apple. Have a great day. Take care of yourselves. Be kind to each other. Have a good one.