Latest / HAIstoric Phonograph — irreverent dispatches from a history that never quite happened
MAN TOO HORNY TO REMEMBER WHICH SECRETS WERE REAL ACCIDENTALLY BLOWS ENTIRE RUSSIAN SPY NETWORK
Send us Fan MailA tell-all memoir full of bullshit bedroom conquests somehow contained the actual identities of a generation of deep-cover agents. Whoops. Some guys just cannot *wait* to tell you about all the ass they supposedly got. Take ex-KGB Colonel Sergei Volkov, a man whose primary contribution to the Cold War was most likely alphabetizing dick pics of Western ambassadors. After the USSR went belly-up, he defected, changed his name to “Cash” something-or-other, and spent thirty years in Cleveland complaining about the quality of the rye bread before deciding to cash in with a memoir…
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