Latest / No Latency / S2E43 - Night in the Machine

Transcript

S2E43 - Night in the Machine · No Latency

0:02
Last time on no latency. I guess we're just kind of going
0:06
in, huh? Oh.
0:07
No, this is a place of business. Dear God, you're gonna.
0:11
Die clown. Time to start shooting.
0:13
Listen, clowns, why don't you tell us why you're here, and
0:17
then we can decide whether or not we're going to kill you is.
0:20
That the name of our crew or just the place where we hang
0:22
out? Jeb.
0:22
Shut up. Oh, sorry.
0:24
Is that all of our boats that they just exploded and didn't we
0:27
need one of those? Jeb, don't eat the clown.
0:29
I'm not gonna. Ate the crown.
0:31
Do you all hear that? What the fuck you just call me
0:33
do? We look like bozos.
0:35
Oh, are you pirates? I get the joke.
0:38
You are. We are indeed.
0:39
It's an oil rig that we're looking to go to.
0:41
Did somebody have coordinates? Oh, I have coordinates.
0:43
Probably will take me till a little bit after Halloween.
0:46
That's fine. We're probably going to need a
0:48
bigger boat. Happy Halloween, everyone.
1:01
What's everybody? Dressing up as.
1:04
Oh shit. Is that today?
1:06
Yes. Yeah.
1:07
Everything. Day every year.
1:10
I Why do you think I came in costume?
1:12
I was. I thought, you know, you gotta
1:13
do some weird stuff. I didn't know what you guys are
1:15
into. I decided to be, you know, the
1:19
stereotypical sexy nurse. Because I'm a doctor, you know?
1:25
Gotta play into the stereotype. I get it.
1:28
I get it. Well, I'm going to have to whip
1:31
something up real fast. I'll be right back.
1:34
It's it's weird that Jeb didn't say anything about me wearing a
1:38
duster and a cowboy hat. Yeah, I mean, I also came as
1:44
Jeb. I think you look great, Iona.
1:47
I'm a Jeb. Yeeha quit.
1:49
Your fault, Jeb. This is going to get confusing.
1:53
OK, hold on. Who brought?
1:55
No, no, no, no. I've.
1:56
Got an idea? No, I've got an idea.
1:58
Give me a second, I'll be right back.
2:03
OK, Retro, show us off the costume.
2:08
What? You can't tell just the I got.
2:11
It's all white, with the three little black poof balls on the
2:17
front and a little pointed. Clown hat on top of my face is
2:23
completely painted white with crying tears.
2:26
Pagliacci I own another. I'm very cultured.
2:33
Do you think I wouldn't recognize Pagliacci?
2:35
Well, I was gonna go as Iona, but I couldn't get the corporal
2:39
thing right, so I think I got pretty close.
2:43
Why is Jeb working with Glass? Ha meow.
2:46
Damn it. I found a dusty corner
2:54
downstairs and I just rolled around because, I mean, and I
2:57
put a pillow underneath in the belly because like strangers,
3:00
basically just a fat version of Jeb that's obsessed with cats.
3:04
I love it. Vending machines meow, damn it.
3:10
And Jeb? And Jeb comes back in wearing
3:14
exactly what he had was wearing before, except that now there is
3:18
a CRT screen that has the the glass punched out of it and he's
3:23
wearing it as like a helmet. I'm I'm retro.
3:26
I like drugs and I can hacky hacking stuff.
3:32
Sorry. It's bitch.
3:32
I could do with some sort of notice.
3:35
Where did where did you get a television?
3:36
Well, there's one in the in the basement.
3:38
Is that my spare? Oh.
3:42
I mean, I wasn't labeled. You gotta label your stuff down
3:45
there, folks. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait
3:47
wait. When did when did the workshop
3:49
turn into the fridge? Rules.
3:52
I was as being I've been taking stuff from there ever since we
3:54
started living here. That's why I'm wearing Marigold
3:56
gloves. Because strangers got, like,
3:59
gold hands. Everyone rolled wardrobe.
4:04
Let's see how good we are. Oh, that is, I'm not good at
4:08
that. I better.
4:10
Crit exploding dice this. OK, so the only person who
4:15
rolled really well is Spoon, and as a satire of retro at 15, it's
4:22
actually pretty good. Oh, thanks.
4:24
Appreciate that. No, that's the GM saying it.
4:27
Thanks. God appreciate that.
4:29
But everyone else rolls pretty mid, so you all look like quite
4:33
serviceable imitations. But unfortunately, Vivi.
4:37
Your knowledge of medication and how much you've been a doctor at
4:42
this point kind of just bleeds through in the body language.
4:45
Yeah, I guess I I look pretty generic, that's OK.
4:49
Or or maybe you've all you've been a sexy nurse this whole
4:53
time. I'm I'm about to to touch new
4:58
your breasts. You are allowed I consent I I
5:03
unbutton one more button. Roll, wardrobe and style.
5:09
Come on. Baby, I want to put.
5:11
Luck points into this. No, no Iona.
5:14
Rolls, wardrobe and stuff. Oh.
5:16
OK. Because they're the one doing
5:18
it, yes. Well, you know what I'll put?
5:19
Look put luck points into it for you to do.
5:21
It this is important, I will, I will.
5:25
I'm going to put two luck points in there.
5:28
There you go. 15 Yes, Now now V. Now I'm a sexy nurse.
5:34
Now you're a sex. Nurse.
5:38
Hello. Nurse.
5:42
See, I I always say that you should undo one more button than
5:45
you're comfortable with. I really think this stood the
5:48
trick. Movies like looking at a mirror.
5:51
Vendel undoes one more button and it adjusts the chest wig.
5:56
No, damn it. So I don't know if my duster has
6:00
buttons, but I have them completely unbuttoned.
6:03
There's nowhere to go. Do your pants have a button?
6:05
Oh shit. Show us your bum.
6:07
I'm kidding, no. This vest This vest has one
6:11
there. We go ping comes from out the
6:13
back. Oh, guys.
6:16
I. I got a I got the information
6:18
about that brain dance place. Great.
6:21
We should do that. Vivi, you wanted the Brain Dance
6:23
place. For Claire.
6:25
Yes, we want to get some BDS to help her out a bit if we can.
6:32
Well, there's a BD lounge about, I don't know, ten blocks from
6:36
here. It's called Brain Dance Palace.
6:39
And. I got you guys a coupon.
6:41
Oh sweet. Yeah, let's let's stop by there
6:44
and see what we can pick up for Claire.
6:47
She's having kind of a tough time still.
6:49
Yeah, she's actually sleeping Vanna White.
6:52
So. All right.
6:57
All right. What's Pink dressed up as?
6:59
What am I dressed up as? Yes.
7:02
Oh, I'm in a. Dress up as Catwoman.
7:05
Oh. No the.
7:07
The the sexy. One with the stitches.
7:09
Ah yes, nice leather leather bodysuit.
7:14
Yeah, the. Heels are a nightmare, the.
7:18
Stitching's Neon. Check it out and they flex their
7:20
hand and it changes rainbow. Wow.
7:22
That's. One nice edition is A great
7:25
thing about being a bartender is that no one sees your feet and
7:31
you're already very tall. Oh, I know, but like.
7:36
They make me feel nice. That's a huge choice.
7:41
Right. Also, when I walk it, does the
7:42
clack clack listen the most attractive sound in the world?
7:47
That's right. That's this one and I cock my
7:49
gun. Well, here's the place and the
7:57
address is just there in the back.
7:59
OK, let's head out. Too bad this is a virtual
8:02
invitation and I can't flip it over.
8:05
The, the. The.
8:06
Coupon only works today. It's a Halloween thing.
8:09
So that might be a good idea. Yes.
8:14
And then tonight when you guys get.
8:16
Back we'll just have the. Should we just?
8:18
Have a Halloween in and we love that actually.
8:21
Not being funny, but like the last.
8:24
Yeah. Domino's kid took over.
8:26
And then? Vivi, you weren't here, but the
8:28
one before that, like. A hand dryer at.
8:31
Biotechnica tried to kill everyone.
8:33
It was bad. You all have good luck around
8:36
Halloween, it seems. I know, so I've officially.
8:40
Closed the bar tonight, Joy's. Doing trick or treaters?
8:43
But it'll just be us play a board game.
8:45
Or something. I think that's a good idea.
8:48
Sure. What?
8:49
What are we playing well? We can.
8:51
We can talk. About that later.
8:53
Corpos and ladders. I love.
8:55
Corpos and ladders. I'll stop 3D printing it.
8:58
Perfect. When ping goes off downstairs.
9:00
Clark Clark. Their tail is also cybernetic
9:05
and it's sort of lashing around and it grabs the back of the
9:08
door and swings it shut and you will pile into Vanna White and
9:15
drive off towards Brain Dance Palace.
9:18
Claire is in the back of the van asleep.
9:21
Well, I suppose it's a good thing that Claire's already
9:23
here, because then we can just pop it right in.
9:27
Is this one of those places where it's take out or can we
9:30
lie down? Have it in.
9:32
Sorry. Yeah, I don't know.
9:34
I've never done a brain dance before.
9:36
I've never been to this place. I wanna be honest, I'm not sure
9:39
what your D is. I'm not sure I can even do it.
9:41
It's like a virtual reality thing.
9:44
If you don't have the implants, they can do it through your
9:46
cornea and through like any chip slot you've got or.
9:51
Yeah, that kind of stuff. So what's?
9:53
Left. Yeah, so you're like playing the
9:56
video game. Yeah, something like that.
9:59
So we wanna when we get there, we wanna find ones that are kind
10:02
of more like therapy and self-care and help mental health
10:08
help for Claire, so. Yeah.
10:13
Claire. Yeah.
10:15
Sorry, I didn't mean to. So take a move.
10:17
Where are we going? We're going to the Brain Dance
10:20
place to get you some brain dances.
10:23
Oh, thanks. You gonna dance tonight away?
10:26
Whoo. Yes.
10:30
We'll find you a nice tango and maybe a waltz.
10:35
Maybe a place they're joking about the tango in the waltz.
10:40
Can I do that one where I just beat everyone up?
10:42
That's. Cool.
10:43
Like a square dance. Yeah, square dance is.
10:44
Under Yes, Claire has been finding some good outlets in
10:50
fighting and punching, so we should find them some ones that
10:55
help fight and punch, but actually fighting and punching
10:59
people. That would be good.
11:00
I'd really appreciate it. So where are we going?
11:07
The place is called. I.
11:12
Just had the invite up BD Brain Dance Palace.
11:17
Oh, Brain Dance Palace. I mean, that sounds royal, I
11:21
guess. Yeah, I'm sure they have a good
11:24
selection, so. It's got 4.7 stars pretty good
11:31
and. And we get 50% off with the
11:34
coupon because it's Halloween. This coupon.
11:37
Yeah, the one that Ping gave us. Ping.
11:41
It's a Halloween special. Yeah.
11:43
What, Jeb? Just.
11:45
Said. Kind of like this episode.
11:47
Oh, wait. Roll Roll a driving check for
11:50
me. Sure, I bet you're going to have
11:52
them roll from meta, roll from meta.
11:57
Roll for. Me, that's that might be the
12:00
biggest roll I've ever seen. 31 + 9 I don't even know how that
12:07
happened. Immediately there, we've
12:09
teleported. You have arrived.
12:12
You've avoided traffic. And Oh my God, it's the best
12:15
parking spot in the entire neighborhood.
12:17
You've managed to park right outside the front of this place.
12:21
It's a it's what we would say in the British business, a cushty
12:26
spot. You see?
12:28
Yeah, it has. It has a sign that says
12:31
reserved, but you see you got to take a look at those signs
12:34
because if you look underneath says reserved from 7:00 to 8:00
12:37
and it's 802. You have found the most amazing
12:41
parking space anyone has ever seen.
12:45
But even better than that, as you park the vehicle, you manage
12:49
to stop a Eddy card and it slips just under the front wheel and
12:55
stops dead and you find yourself 45 eddies.
12:59
Oh well, go ahead. Today's really coming up, Jeb.
13:03
This might be the best Halloween ever.
13:06
I agree. There's like nothing that could
13:08
go wrong. Today so far nothing has gone
13:11
wrong I. Mean I know I'm in a sad clown
13:14
outfit, but I'm actually doing pretty good right now.
13:17
Well, who's going in first? I will.
13:20
I will. I'm the cowboy.
13:24
Oh, that's right. We're doing, we're doing our
13:25
character voices, alright, hey. How's it going?
13:30
It's going good. Nice place you got here.
13:37
It's sure is shiny. I like your couches.
13:42
Jeff. How do you do this?
13:44
It's a lot of. It's a lot of not really caring
13:47
what anyone else thinks. Damn it.
13:50
Now, the person behind this desk does actually look pretty
13:53
confused. I don't, don't, don't.
13:58
You worry I can hack into. Jim, can you drop the accent?
14:04
Drop the accent. You'll be more convincing.
14:06
Y'all got any computers that you need hacking?
14:11
No. Are you guys here for the
14:13
Halloween special? We sure are.
14:17
I was going to say meow, damn it, but that's not me.
14:20
Meow. Damn it.
14:21
That's my job. Yeah, we got this coupon.
14:25
And vendel puts the coupon down on the top.
14:27
Says 50% off all purchases today.
14:30
That's a Halloween special. Yep.
14:32
That's, that's the Halloween special.
14:36
Yeah, so. We've got a bunch of stuff on
14:39
sale. We've got takeout stuff in the
14:40
vending machine. This stuff in there like, you
14:43
know, skill B DS and things for sleep like low level therapy B
14:48
DS. There's some, you know, X-rated
14:50
ones at the bottom behind the black sheath.
14:53
And then we offer two different things.
14:54
We've got a BD therapy room or a private BD room.
14:58
They're both basically the same thing, but we wash them down
15:00
each. Time and so you can take your
15:03
therapy, have a nice bed, lie down, and then we have a group
15:08
Halloween Special B. D Well, we're definitely
15:13
interested in like the the low level therapy B D's.
15:18
I don't know. I mean, it might be worth doing
15:20
a big old group thing, you know? I listen.
15:23
Like I said, I ain't never done anything like this before so
15:27
might be nice to do it with friends.
15:29
I mean, sure, we do have this Halloween coupon.
15:34
So I guess now is the best time to do it.
15:38
If I might make a suggestion, we have Claire here, and we have us
15:43
here. And Claire.
15:44
You could try out the therapy room while we do a group session
15:48
and then we can pick up whatever we need out of the vending
15:51
machine on our way out. That sounds great.
15:53
Do you have any Battle Royales? Yes.
15:58
Actually, we do. That's kind of the whole premise
16:02
of the the Halloween one, you know, whoever wins a surprise.
16:06
I was thinking Claire might be interested in something like
16:08
that as well. No, that's what the group thing
16:10
is that the there is the there's a bunch of combat therapy ones
16:16
that we have essentially punching bag where you get to
16:19
feel like, you know you're in the Morpheus versus neophyte,
16:23
that kind of thing. And then you get to do most of
16:25
the movie, You know, it's kind of cool.
16:27
How? How does that sound clear?
16:29
Only if it's the trilogy plus the extra movie they released
16:32
that, you know, I thought it was really good.
16:34
What about the Animatrix? That's pretty good, I.
16:36
Was going to. Say, oh, can you?
16:37
Add that. Yeah, no.
16:37
I can do the full matrix experience if you want.
16:41
Oh wow. That's.
16:41
Like that's like a while. Isn't it?
16:43
Yeah, yeah. Be be.
16:46
Differently in the BD zone. Not, not in, not in the matrix
16:51
one. You have to watch that full time
16:54
because it's premade content. But like the Battle Royale, all
16:56
of that stuff you'll be in for like 15 minutes to an hour,
17:00
depending on how long you take you.
17:02
Like 15 minutes. You know what?
17:04
I'm you know what I'm saying? You know, is it or is it going
17:06
to be like, wow, we've been in here for an hour, but we get out
17:09
and it feels and it's actually only been 5 minutes.
17:13
Yeah. Time dilation is like a huge
17:15
part of doing a BD. Absolutely, yeah.
17:18
He's never done one, so forgive the stupid.
17:22
Also, the private rooms are super comfortable.
17:24
You can set the air conditioner to whatever you want and you
17:28
lock, you lock it and you can just be in there.
17:30
We've got someone in one of the rooms right now, so I've got one
17:32
room free. So I mean this, this the one
17:36
who's not wearing a costume, does she want to do the.
17:39
We should get you started, yeah. Yeah, I know.
17:41
I'd. I'd like that.
17:42
I'm actually fairly excited. I haven't.
17:43
Done a BD in A. While I actually have the
17:45
implants, I'm into it so. You shouldn't have.
17:47
Might be dressed up, though. You know, just because.
17:51
Jeb, it's Halloween. Jeb, fuck you all.
17:56
Right. I'll take that.
17:58
All right, well, the therapy BD is 520 eddies, but guaranteed
18:05
results, so. So 260.
18:08
Yeah, Okay. Well, let's let's, let's put
18:10
that on the tab, yes. Thanks.
18:13
Where is it? Oh, it's behind me.
18:15
Through the door and into the left.
18:17
There's a cabinet to put your clothes in.
18:19
Lie down and you've got attachments, so just plug right
18:22
in there. And Claire walks.
18:26
So she'll be in there 9 hours. Is this for medical reasons?
18:31
Yes, yes. Okay.
18:32
You an actual doctor? Yes.
18:35
Yeah, I know the it's the ironic thing, huh?
18:37
Right. Yeah, it's hot thing.
18:39
Quickly, I have the the. Papers here, the official form
18:44
and everything. If you need to see like her, you
18:46
know. All right, Okay.
18:48
Doctor's. Note and everything.
18:51
Yeah, she can have a doctor's note off work.
18:54
None of this is covered by insurance.
18:56
In fact, if you use this insurance, it'll cost you 40
18:59
more Eddies. So we're just going to say
19:02
Claire doesn't have insurance and we'll just take it as it is.
19:06
Yeah, I can give you the doctor's note for work if you
19:07
want. That's perfect.
19:09
Thank you. Sure.
19:09
Better to have it not needed. But do you have a script pad?
19:13
None too. Yeah, I have a really bad doctor
19:17
signature for all my notes that I have.
19:20
To give you guys make. Sure that it's different than
19:21
the one you signed your checks with?
19:22
Yeah, of course all. Right.
19:25
Oh. Look at that.
19:27
You're 100,100 K customer, 100,000 crazy.
19:33
Wow. How long have you been out
19:34
before? Oh, you know, about two years.
19:36
Juice is good. Yeah, not bad.
19:40
Well, I mean, I mean for that you've got to try, you've got to
19:42
try the beta version of this, this, this, BD it's.
19:46
It's really cool. What is it?
19:48
Oh, it's a spooky battle Royale. So you have to you will jump
19:52
into this room and you have to blast them all with these guns
19:55
that materialize in your hands. And then, if you don't shoot
19:58
them soon enough, they turn into historic members of Night City.
20:02
We call them Watchmen. They're really spooky, so
20:05
they'll like explode and turn into people from like the Bozos
20:09
or from Maelstrom, or from a bunch of different places like
20:13
Danger Gal has talked about all of these people.
20:15
It's like a tie in with some of their new info.
20:19
Sounds really useful, yeah? And you guys all get XP and in
20:23
between each round there's like a like a you you pull a loot box
20:28
and you get a few things from that.
20:29
You might get like a armor pissing, not armor pissing,
20:33
because everything's one shot kill, but you might get like a
20:36
double shot where the bullet splits and there's even a few
20:38
extra lives in there too, like. Radius.
20:41
I love that retro game. Yeah, yeah, it's super.
20:43
It's super arcade. It's really fun.
20:45
We're hoping that it gets popular and because we're pretty
20:48
boudoir. I don't know if you'll see in
20:50
the room. Come, you guys, come with me.
20:53
We've got a bathroom over there if you need it, but over here in
20:55
the hallway. Come on guys.
20:57
Everybody. All right, I'm going.
21:00
I'm just going to open the door to Claire's room.
21:01
You can see inside of Claire's room.
21:04
Hi, Claire. Hello, I'm going to start her BD
21:09
in a second, but this is one of our private suites.
21:12
We've got all this space. So if you were doing a BD with a
21:15
partner, you could share a bed. And if you know for your medics
21:19
medical needs, there's plenty of space if you have like
21:21
respiratory problems or whatever.
21:23
And then down here at the end, please excuse me one second.
21:27
Sorry, Pardon me, Pardon me. Excuse me, pardon me, excuse me.
21:31
Excuse me, do you made a certain like place?
21:34
These look like just regular beds.
21:36
This is something you can just do it on.
21:39
Yeah, anybody can do this. So we use a subdermal little
21:45
attachment to sort of the very base of your spine.
21:49
It's like getting an injection and we're able to sort of ride
21:52
on your cerebral cortex. Then you wear a visor and then
21:56
your brain basically thinks you're there and that sort of
21:58
suppresses your movement so you don't thrash about or hurt
22:00
yourself. And then when you're done the,
22:04
the set it if you take wears off and unless you've got a BD
22:07
implant which shuts down your body.
22:10
So we sort of help you get along, but we've got comfortable
22:11
beds in here. It looks like we've got enough
22:13
for one for each of you, which is great.
22:17
Yeah. So are you guys interested in
22:19
that? I mean, that sounds pretty
22:22
spooky and thematically appropriate for the time.
22:26
Well, we have lots of time to kill.
22:29
I mean you. But you'll be in there for about
22:32
an hour, and the winner gets a coupon for one free item from
22:37
the vending machine outside. There's a prize involved, which
22:41
is kind of fun. We thought that'd be fun for
22:42
Halloween. Yeah.
22:45
What's the high score? So far the high score is around
22:49
about 100,000 is. That a lot?
22:51
Yes, it is a lot. Multipliers help.
22:54
So if you manage to destroy more than one enemy in a round, you
23:01
get bonuses. So I mean you've all, you've
23:05
you've all seen battle Royals on on streams and stuff before,
23:08
right? Yeah, yeah, you can get like
23:11
special weapons from the vending machines, and if you check all
23:14
the rooms, you can use them to your advantage.
23:17
This one isn't free for all. You guys are all on a team, but
23:20
the individual with the biggest score will win.
23:24
Okay, that sounds like fun. Yeah.
23:26
So it's sort of PVE, but with an MVP for your BD.
23:30
There's a lot of PS. Yeah.
23:34
Well, normally that's 600, but obviously that'd be 300 each.
23:43
300 each. Yes, obviously that not only
23:47
covers all the sedatives that you'll get, it also covers the
23:50
price at the end. So in the end you get a any
23:53
price. Take home BD and this experience
23:58
so. All for half off.
24:00
That's wonderful. Yeah.
24:01
So normally it's 600 each, but it's only 300 each.
24:04
Yeah. So then Pali wise up, That's
24:06
2060 Eddies, Yeah. And that's how we've been around
24:10
for like 2, yeah. I've already picked my bed.
24:13
I'm all good. This is comfy.
24:16
Oh yeah, memory phone is. That memory phone, that's what.
24:19
I say it. Feels like it.
24:20
Look at you. Yeah, even.
24:23
Contours the shape of my television head, yeah.
24:26
If I could feel it, I think that would be feeling nice.
24:29
Oh, Speaking of Doctor, we're here.
24:32
Yes. Sorry, I was just making sure
24:34
Claire is OK. I'm just going to gingerly take
24:38
off the cowboy hat and blow the dust off of it because it's
24:43
already getting dusty and I don't like that.
24:49
Put that next there, all right. I'm going to go and process your
24:52
payment and I'll be right back. I'm also going to put, I'm going
24:56
to, you know, help Claire Jack in, so I'll be right back.
25:01
I haven't taken this behemoth off my head.
25:05
You know, that thing is heavier than it seems I'm you got.
25:08
You must have some real beefy neck muscles there.
25:12
I don't have a neck anymore. It's just all pure muscle.
25:17
Oh, I thought I was going to. I thought I was going to say
25:18
like, you don't got a neck. It's like on like a Lazy Susan
25:21
or something. What do you mean?
25:23
And then my head turns 180 degrees.
25:27
Oh, that is very disconcerting. So please don't do that, you
25:30
know. Come to think of it, I don't
25:31
think I've ever seen you tilt your head up and down.
25:34
You kind of just tilt from the waist to look up all right.
25:39
So if you put on your helmet, the back of the helmet should
25:41
give you a little bit of a pinch in the back of the neck.
25:44
That's just it connecting to your cerebrum.
25:48
If you have a chip slot, you can use the chip slot attachment
25:51
instead. Disengage the injection by
25:55
pushing on the red button at the very back of the helmet.
25:58
OK, that that one. And then I'll just shove it,
26:02
slip it right into the chip slot there.
26:06
OK. That's an interesting feeling.
26:08
It should tickle and then everything should go.
26:12
Yeah, I'm not really sure what I'm feeling.
26:14
Anything you still? Black.
26:24
Your favorite multiverse hopping game system jumping, high
26:28
Production value Actual Play Podcast is back.
26:31
System Switch Season 2 drops in your universe on November 16th.
26:36
Bowler and Hicks have been transported into the science
26:39
fiction world of Scum and Villainy.
26:42
Follow our heroes as they tried to break out of prison.
26:45
This is clearly a cell. I've seen a cell before.
26:47
In any universe, this is a cell. Fly through asteroid belts.
26:53
Break into high security government buildings.
26:57
Excuse me, I'm from the library police.
27:00
And punch fascists. That's always very cool.
27:04
Catch up on season one of System Switch now or jump in for your
27:07
first time when Season 2 premieres on November 16th.
27:10
Wherever you get your podcasts, the multiverse is a strange
27:14
place. And as the darkness fades, you
27:27
awaken on a battlefield, a digital battlefield.
27:32
Iona in your hand is a laser blaster.
27:36
It glows with your favorite color.
27:38
Orange Happy Halloween and behind you as you look around
27:46
there is this incredibly. Tall creature with a long white
27:53
face and a tongue that sticks out, and two tiny horns these.
27:59
The watchman snarls at you, and its mouth moves in an unholy and
28:04
disturbing way. Oh my God.
28:10
I. Think it's terrified?
28:12
It looks like the Slender Man, except its face is like.
28:16
Got the scream mask the ghost face mouth.
28:20
It does. It does look like that.
28:22
And it looks like it's kind of got some crazy broken fingers or
28:28
something, yeah. All its fingers are broken for
28:30
some reason. That's.
28:33
Terrifying. Holy shit.
28:34
And I shoot it 24. The laser fires out and it hits
28:40
this. Creature.
28:42
He flies back and turns into a cloud of pixels and falls to the
28:48
ground. You have a second shot.
28:51
Vivi, I'm. I'm sorry.
28:52
Excuse me. Pardon me.
28:53
I have to get behind you. There's a there's a vending
28:56
machine right here. If you could you just move your.
28:58
Yes. Sexy little bum over this way.
29:01
Move that bat ass of yours, that delicious dumper.
29:08
All right. Taking it a little far reach the
29:12
line. Keep going.
29:19
Hell yeah. Keep going.
29:24
Sorry I won't keep going, but the rest of the crew feel free
29:28
too. Well, I bend through this
29:30
machine. Boop roll AD 10/9.
29:40
Oh wow. Yeah, you get a grenade.
29:44
Great. I'm going to pocket that.
29:46
Can I still take my second shot? Yes.
29:48
I see past retro and Vandal in a far corner is a small little
29:53
tiny. This one, this tiny little one
29:57
over here. I don't even see that one.
29:59
You don't seem tiny to me. It's perspective 23.
30:08
Yes, you hit him square. He stumbles back, and a huge
30:12
chunk of his shoulder turns into pixels.
30:14
First he looks at it in horror and disappears into a cloud of
30:20
ones and zeros. Well, if this is easy, go ahead
30:24
Brendel, you try. And above you, Iona, a little
30:28
thing chimes, and it says. Times 2.
30:30
I don't understand how many points I have.
30:32
You killed 2 monsters in one turn.
30:36
So what does that mean for points?
30:37
You got 20 points. OK.
30:40
I'm keeping track. Vendel, go ahead.
30:42
OK, I'm going to slide over here and shoot that guy.
30:47
Oh my God, Vendel. Yeah, that's right.
30:49
I rolled A crit and the bullet hits this watchman over Vv's
30:55
shoulder. It ricochets off a wall and hits
30:59
another watchman for that crit. They managed to kill two as they
31:05
flumped to the floor. Then, Dell, you have another
31:07
shot, I believe. Just got double points.
31:10
I'm gonna slide over to this vending machine and roll for it.
31:14
I've got. I have so much to do.
31:16
One fuck nothing that sucks. And Vendel does a cartwheel and
31:21
kicks this watchman at the top in the face.
31:24
Hey, yeah, that's a crit as well, and the watchman flies
31:28
into the back and explodes and a coin flies off the watchman and
31:34
Vendel catches it. That's a free go with this
31:37
vending machine next to me and they elbow it and get to roll
31:40
again. Roll AD 10/3.
31:43
Oh, brilliant. I got got a muffin.
31:46
It's yellow. I guess I'll.
31:49
I'll eat this yellow muffin I brought us 3.
31:51
Is it a corn muffin? No, it's made of pixels.
31:58
Come on, what does it taste? Like a metallic.
32:00
Oh really? Is that 40 points for vandal?
32:04
No, that is 30 points for Vandal.
32:08
So who's keeping track of points?
32:10
I assume we have to do it ourselves.
32:12
How many points is a kill? Each kill is five.
32:17
If you kill more than two, you get double points.
32:19
Heard. Thank you.
32:21
I go in between this crate and I guess the wall here and get a
32:26
clear path to shoot this other watchman.
32:28
And I shoot them. I roll them nice.
32:31
He gets struck against the wall as the laser, like lightning,
32:36
bolts through the watchman's body, pulling him apart like
32:41
he's being exploded from the inside and he falls to the
32:44
ground. That was sick.
32:47
This game is dope. This is kind of fun.
32:49
I am liking this. Phoebe, you have another show.
32:54
Let's try for ooh, that other one right on down the line here.
33:00
Nice. Let's see what I get.
33:03
Ooh 20 The watchman sees you aim at him and he starts running
33:08
towards you. His mouth gapes open wider and
33:12
as he starts to try and scream, you blow a hole through his
33:17
mouth and he disappears head first.
33:20
Whoa, times two appears above your head and you get 20 points.
33:25
Do you do anything else? I.
33:27
Think that's it. OK.
33:29
There's another one and more. OK.
33:32
Here's the thing I'm I'm seeing. Can't see much without moving.
33:38
All I can see is this guy down here.
33:40
And this guy over here. And then maybe this is something
33:43
right here, but I can't really see from this angle, so I'm just
33:46
gonna go ahead and take a shot of this bad boy right here.
33:48
Shoe. Shoe was right.
33:53
You see a watchman step in front of another watchman in this side
33:57
room that you're shooting into and you roll 30 + 7 and your
34:01
laser bolt goes through both of them and they disappear and D
34:05
res before you. You get a double hit bonus.
34:09
Oh, and. Looks like there that was a 2
34:14
for one. Do you guys see that one?
34:15
Yes, that was very good. I'm gonna go ahead and run over
34:19
here towards the vending machine.
34:20
And what's that over there? It's another one roller D10.
34:24
That's a six. You get a grenade.
34:26
Oh look, a grenade. And I immediately pull the pin
34:29
and just toss this 17. Yes, it goes off and hits.
34:36
Both of. Them.
34:38
All right. Yeah.
34:39
So you get 40 points for this round.
34:41
You know, I think the way the math turns out is that you
34:44
actually want to kill just two people every round.
34:47
I think that's the optimal way to do the math, because
34:49
otherwise you kind of lose as long as you get to every time
34:55
you're optimizing. Your your kills.
34:58
Wait, hold on, let me let me just double check the math
35:00
there. That's wrong.
35:01
Never mind. And it's retroste.
35:03
Oh, hey, OK well I'm, I'm a run up next Jeff and flap myself up
35:09
against that vending machine there 1010, you get an extra
35:15
life. Why I?
35:17
Have an extra life. I don't see why we would need an
35:20
extra life. It seems like we're making quick
35:21
work of these fools. Maybe it'll help later, but I
35:25
I'm happy I got the extra life and then I'll shoot this one
35:28
right here. Do it 24.
35:30
Yes. You hit the watch when you
35:33
smacks against the wall. And.
35:35
You explodes into a cloud of glitter and pixels.
35:41
Ooh, that's fun. They can see the second one
35:44
right here too, right? Yeah.
35:46
I'll shoot that one as well. No, Your gun goes off in your
35:54
hand, it explodes into a shower of pixels.
35:58
And you also done. Your extra life kicks in and
36:04
suddenly you come back to life and your gun.
36:07
That was, that was horrifying. I'm not even.
36:11
Sure, what happened? It was like nothingness.
36:16
Oh. God, oh, Retro Crip fails are
36:19
really punishing in this game. They are very punishing in this
36:22
game. I saw the abyss again, and it
36:25
stared back into me. Oh shit, One of the Watchmen
36:28
steps out. You see his head flick back and
36:31
he screams so. Loudly and you all feel this
36:35
scream to the very. Core of your bones, it reminds.
36:39
You of the scream from last. Halloween that stopped.
36:42
You, in your class, everyone rolled.
36:44
Resist torture. Bros Oh no, you.
36:48
Know this thing's getting pretty, pretty scared.
36:51
You guys, everyone manages to shake off the chills except
36:55
Iona, who now can't move from where they're standing.
36:58
You grab onto the vending machine and you feel your legs
37:01
turn to Jelly. No, I'm here.
37:04
It's fine. It's I, I I'm just going to
37:08
stand here for a little. I'm sure the rest of you can
37:12
probably take care of that. Yeah.
37:15
Yeah, and more of the Watchmen spawn around you and suddenly
37:21
they all pause and a box appears in front of you.
37:25
Every single one of you. There is a a golden crate just
37:28
floating above you in front of you.
37:31
Oh, this is the the the loot box thing.
37:35
I'm going to do it and Vandal just punches right through the
37:39
box. Wait, hold on.
37:40
It could be and a bunch of images start to cycle.
37:44
We've all got to do it. I thought.
37:47
It was going to be a trap. Never mind.
37:49
You're fine. I open up the lid to a loot box
37:52
every every one of you will starts to ching, ching, ching.
37:55
Ching ching chick, chick chick. Chick.
37:56
Chick Chick. Yeah, yeah yeah.
37:58
Bendel just touches it and then image starts.
38:00
Everyone, roll a detail. Oh yeah, 7986.
38:06
Awesome. Iona, you got a super jump.
38:10
Super jump. Jeb, you got the Megafist.
38:13
Wow, that's rare. And Retro got a Spreadshot, Cool
38:18
Spreadshot. And Vivi you got like a one time
38:23
like Projectile Reflect Shield. And I got two lives.
38:28
Wait, I have three. That muffin must have been a
38:30
life. Try life.
38:32
That's so dope. Well, try not to have to use
38:37
them, Vandal. Right.
38:39
Yeah, I'm on my second life. I hear that didn't go very well.
38:48
Deep. What the fuck?
38:50
Fuck was that? I think we're malfunctioning.
38:58
It's quite my heart, so Weld goes.
39:01
I only you've gone black. And white.
39:03
But you've gone black and white, and you all appear in the BD
39:09
room as the program projects an error straight on your screens
39:13
and the game is unfortunately over after just one.
39:18
Round Vandela gets up from the bed.
39:20
That was fun. Oh, I'm.
39:22
I'm sorry. There was a power surge.
39:25
I haven't put in the, the the, the power protector in here yet.
39:28
This room's new. I'll go and check on Claire.
39:31
I'll be right back. This is what GFCI's are
39:33
important. Well, we should get our money
39:35
back. Yeah, the battery backup in
39:37
Claire's room is fine. I'm not going to interrupt her
39:40
service. Of course, you know your tickets
39:42
are free. I'll get this sorted.
39:44
If you want, you can come back in a few hours and try it again.
39:48
I can, you know, work out the bugs.
39:51
I guess. I was having a good time.
39:54
I mean, it was a little scary there, but I did enjoy myself.
39:58
Do you think we could keep the same power ups that we had from
40:00
before? Oh yeah, it remembers who you
40:03
are. Oh, good, good.
40:04
Because I'm really looking forward to using that.
40:06
Super. Punch, right?
40:08
Yeah. No, it's really cool.
40:09
All right, well, I've got to fix this.
40:12
It's kind of a big job. So if you want, I mean, the
40:15
Bubble Cafe is like 3 blocks down.
40:17
Just come back in like an hour. Yeah, I mean, what is it?
40:19
We got 8 hours left until. Claire's done.
40:23
Yeah. You should be done just before
40:25
you know about like 9:10 PM, right?
40:28
About time you could go to a Halloween party or something.
40:30
There'll still be time. Like bowling around here or
40:33
something. I I don't, I don't really know.
40:37
I'm kind of like. Mini golf.
40:39
Maybe some, yeah, maybe some mini golf or something.
40:42
Mini golf would be fun. Can can we go to the Bubble Cafe
40:45
though? Absolutely.
40:46
Let's go. I would love to that'd.
40:48
Be great. I've never had Bubble Cafe.
40:51
What's Bubble Cafe? That's a window, not a door
40:53
window. Sorry.
40:55
Bubble tea. And it's very delicious.
41:00
And sometimes they even put drugs in them.
41:03
Step outside, there's this, this really loud, screeching, driving
41:10
noise. You hear a honking.
41:12
You hear laughter. And Iona, you and Vendel stepped
41:18
out first. I need Vendel to roll evasion.
41:23
But Iona can't evade because my reflex isn't that high.
41:27
Yeah, 19, not a crib. You sound so sad.
41:40
From around the corner, a vehicle full of bozos shaking
41:46
their baseball bats and guns out the side and on the front of
41:49
this big vehicle is a big red boxing glove, and it launches
41:54
from the front, comes careening towards you and Bendel, and with
41:57
all the evasion they have, they push you out of the way and it
42:01
hits them and it's made of a ton of bricks.
42:05
That fist blasts across the courtyard.
42:08
Oh no. It's the Mega Fist and presses
42:11
Vendel's whole body against the wall.
42:14
You can hear bones crack and blood pour from their mouth as
42:17
they're pinned to the wall, and as the car comes fleeting into
42:22
the area, the bozos all jump out and it careens into Vendel as
42:26
well, crushing them. Vendel screams.
42:31
Holy fuck. Oh my God.
42:33
I've I've I've run over there turns.
42:36
Out. Who sent in the clowns?
42:38
I jump out of there too. Oh no.
42:40
I push. I push past all clowns.
42:43
I'm I am just going to the now. Next time on no latency.
43:04
It's going to be OK. I'm going to take care of you.
43:06
We're going to get you out of here.
43:07
We're going to go. It's a Why aren't you helping
43:09
me? Bendel.
43:10
Why aren't you helping me? I'm here to help.
43:13
Is everyone all right? I can't see anything.
43:15
Vivi, you have to do something. I'm going to help.
43:18
Where are you? Where are you guys?
43:20
Bendel. Who is that?
43:22
Hello. OK, can you hook into vendel?
43:24
Can you check on Vendel? Wait, what do you mean there's
43:26
two lives left? We don't know where Vendel is.
43:29
I'll be honest, I'm starting to, like, kind of freak out a little
43:31
bit. Whoa.
43:33
Did you? Did you just?
43:34
Yeah, what? Vendel.
43:37
Vendel, can you hear me? Wait, there's a big door where
43:39
you're at too. Is it dark again for everyone?
43:42
Shit, there's more of them. Yes, yes, that lever.
43:45
Yes, go ahead. That's Plan 2.
43:47
Is Plan 2 all the way after Plan Z?
43:50
All right, be ready to be sacrificed.
43:51
What? I'm gonna smoke a J Where's
43:53
where's my joints? Yes, if you could, if you could
43:56
clear that. Oh, I need to find Vendel.
44:19
Bendel, thank you for joining us on our adventure once again here
44:27
at No Latency. Don't forget to follow us on
44:30
Twitter at No Latency Pod, check out our website at
44:34
nolatencypodcast.com and if you'd like to.
44:37
Support us further. We have a Patreon get exclusive
44:40
content, spinoffs, bonus episodes, bloopers, add free
44:43
episodes, and so much more with weekly content to say thank you
44:47
to our supporters and even spice up your own cyberpunk red games
44:51
at home, no matter what level. Your support Thank you again so
44:56
much for listening. We literally couldn't do this
44:58
without you and. Of course.
45:01
We'll see you next time in Night City.
45:05
Thanks for listening, Jim.