Latest / The Pausecast / Ep 72. How to explore new things without burning out - esp at the end of the year
Transcript
- 0:04Hi, I'm Rachel O'Meara. I'm the host of the podcast.
- 0:08I'm also the author of pause harnessing, the life-changing
- 0:12power of giving yourself a break, as well as a private
- 0:16coach for men and women who are struggling with, how to get out
- 0:21of overwhelm and reclaim their lives.
- 0:23The pause cast is dedicated to helping individuals learn the
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- 0:58can all learn And that's what the paws cast is all about.
- 1:08Alright, hello everyone. So glad that you're here.
- 1:11Today's topic, I want to speak about how to explore things but
- 1:16not necessarily burn out or be at the end of your rope at this
- 1:21time of year, in this world of things ending winding down for
- 1:25the year holiday. Season is upon us, a new year is
- 1:29right around the corner and there's a lot going on, right?
- 1:34So how do we explore, how do you do things that you're excited
- 1:37about? But maybe don't want to go fully
- 1:40on in or not necessarily bite off more than you can chew and
- 1:44it get into that stress mode, right?
- 1:47So, that's the topic for today. On that note a couple of things.
- 1:52So how do you explore when I think about exploring?
- 1:54It's like, little things. You might want to try right?
- 1:57Maybe there's a new workout that you want to try.
- 2:01That's really a simple one, right?
- 2:02Like new new sport, maybe there's actually a new skill
- 2:06that you're looking to learn but you're not really sure if that
- 2:09would be the next career trajectory you want to launch
- 2:11into, or if it would really serve you.
- 2:14And I think of this, a lot of times as experiments, right?
- 2:18These are things that you could Try.
- 2:20They don't mean they're going to change or anything in a major
- 2:22way but I think it's good to honor this.
- 2:26So the first thing to do is to notice what it is that you want
- 2:29to explore. Okay, maybe there's a new Java
- 2:33class. You want to take if you're a
- 2:34programmer. So, the first thing is to notice
- 2:37how you feel when you think about that particular Endeavor,
- 2:41maybe you feel excited, maybe you feel Joy, maybe there's some
- 2:44fear their right anxiety. Like whoa, I don't know if I
- 2:47want to do that right now. Had a client recently.
- 2:51Want to take a 200-250, our yoga teacher training, okay, that's
- 2:55like a great Endeavor, it's an experiment.
- 2:57But the flip side is there's a lot of time commitment involved,
- 3:02right? So the first thing is to just
- 3:04kind of understand what is it, that you feel.
- 3:07And then also, I would say, the next thing is to get curious.
- 3:10This is you being courageously, curious about what is striking
- 3:15you right? So great questions to ask
- 3:17yourself, are well, what? Come from this.
- 3:21What would what would I want to know?
- 3:22What is the Y in this as well. So I think when we know our why
- 3:27it kind of adds to our purpose like why is this important for
- 3:31me? So you could ask yourself why is
- 3:33this important for me? You could even Journal about it.
- 3:35I think journaling ads in an additional layer of depth into
- 3:39your insights right out. When we literally write things
- 3:43down, our brain is processing it in a different way.
- 3:47And even in that, in itself can lead to The answers, right?
- 3:51So allowing yourself to know, what is the why behind me
- 3:55wanting this to do that? The other part to remember here
- 4:00is even if this is something you're really interested in
- 4:03think about the timing because it might not just might not be
- 4:06the right timing for you and it might be something like learning
- 4:11a language. Maybe you want to take a
- 4:12vacation and it's going to be three week long, right.
- 4:15Maybe you just took one, I don't know.
- 4:17Like, a couple months ago, right?
- 4:18Maybe just came back from. Um, maternity leave.
- 4:21There's all kinds of things, right?
- 4:22So the key here again, is your noticing.
- 4:24The trend is to give yourself permission to be curious because
- 4:28there's probably answers there, which will make your decision
- 4:30making a lot easier. But if you don't, if you're not
- 4:32really thinking about it from an objective standpoint, right?
- 4:35That's the Curiosity part. Why would this be exciting for
- 4:38me? What would I get out of this?
- 4:40Why does it even matter? Notice how different that is
- 4:43than the thoughts. That could be something that
- 4:46more were along this flavor. Like, well, I've always wanted
- 4:50to do this and my mom was someone who was a big advocate
- 4:53of this and we watch it on TV. So, this is clearly something
- 4:57that I love. Hey, that seems to me a little
- 5:00more rooted in story. Meaning, this is the story, I've
- 5:04told myself and the thing was story is it's a representation
- 5:09of the past. It is not your curiosity, it's
- 5:11It's what you've been told or what your patterns have been
- 5:14modeled around. So that's a big difference.
- 5:17So the key is here to give yourself the permission to ask
- 5:20yourself the the why, the What the how, and why would this be
- 5:23important to me? And then be curious about it
- 5:26because maybe decide this is important to me.
- 5:27I do think this would really offer me a lot.
- 5:32Maybe it's the training and as an athlete, right?
- 5:36If you are doing yoga teacher training, but is it the right
- 5:39timing? You know that part, maybe you
- 5:41might want to Out a little bit. And if it's not the right
- 5:43timing, what could be the right timing.
- 5:45And again this is just staying objective, maybe summer is a
- 5:49slower time for you because your kids are at camp or you aren't
- 5:53working or you're more motivated to do things then, I don't know.
- 5:57It could be anything, right? So, the key is first to just be
- 6:02courageously, curious about this.
- 6:03I mean that's the biggest theme. I think I could offer.
- 6:06You can list pros and cons. This is more journaling
- 6:09exercising for you to do. So, what am I?
- 6:11My what are the top Pros three like what are the top things and
- 6:14just brain dump it and then Circle the ones that matter to
- 6:17you and then you can kind of see filter out what are the
- 6:20priorities for you? Okay, well, clearly, these are
- 6:23the top reasons I do it and so maybe you decide because it is
- 6:28the end of the year here. You think about what would I
- 6:31want for next year? And maybe there's just one thing
- 6:35that comes up, right? Maybe there's just one thing you
- 6:37want to do. And that's it for me.
- 6:41I mean, I work from home actually, I'm really motivated
- 6:44to have some some gardening. Like I really want some flowers
- 6:48in the backyard and even though that's not part of my day-to-day
- 6:52job, even just seeing them will be inspiring every day.
- 6:55That's what I think about. And so, you know, I'm curious
- 6:58about it because that will serve me.
- 7:01And I know if I look out the window and I see them that I'm
- 7:04going to be excited and reminded of all the work that I'm doing
- 7:07that really helps people grow, for example, right?
- 7:09That was good, I just thought of it.
- 7:11So So you know, then I can come up with a budget and I can see
- 7:14what time of year that makes sense for it.
- 7:15Right? Right now it's the end of the
- 7:16year doesn't make sense to implement a bunch of new garden
- 7:20seeds and they probably wouldn't last until the spring.
- 7:24I don't know though, I'm probably depends on the thing.
- 7:26So I probably didn't need to do some research.
- 7:28You can also apply the law of little things.
- 7:31Tho LOL. T loped, I like to call it low
- 7:34mauve little things. So, just think of what the next
- 7:36little thing I could do in service to this particular,
- 7:40exploration, a tie Right. Okay, so now notice, so that's
- 7:44one scenario, just kind of just naming a feeling being
- 7:48courageously, curious, and listing out some of the things
- 7:50that can work for you. Now, what if you're already
- 7:53feeling pretty much at wit's end but you just have that tendency
- 7:56to explore the collectible but who I want to see this and it
- 7:59might be shiny objects. In might actually be just
- 8:01beautiful things that you want to do and acts of service.
- 8:04It could be anything, right? So the key is to just know your
- 8:07inventory of how you're feeling. Now, your feelings are super
- 8:11big. Big indicators of it.
- 8:13So if you're already pretty exhausted and you feel like your
- 8:15plates full right now? It might be Jack full Jack full
- 8:20jacked up Jack. I don't Know full of stuff,
- 8:23because it is the end of the year and maybe you just are
- 8:26like, you know what, like I'm good.
- 8:28I don't, I can't do anything else.
- 8:29I'm going to table this so that's being wise, right?
- 8:32Like that's understanding what your awareness is after your
- 8:34capacity. And this is the key is giving
- 8:37yourself the permission again. There was this theme Here of
- 8:41tabling. Something just saying you know
- 8:42what I don't think this would serve me and know that if you're
- 8:45thinking about these things by the way, it doesn't mean
- 8:47anything else. It's not a judgment on who your
- 8:50character is or that you don't do enough for like, getting like
- 8:54a little self-sabotaging and Currituck mind where you're
- 8:58annoyed because you're even thinking about these things.
- 9:00Okay. But here, I want to remind you.
- 9:03We are human creatures who are designed for The exploration for
- 9:09learning and growing, that's the transformation imperative,
- 9:13right? Like, we were all designed to
- 9:15transform as adults. That's what Jack mesirow says,
- 9:18adulthood is for formation, right?
- 9:21Sorry, childhood is for formation, adulthood is for
- 9:24transformation and not the other way around.
- 9:26Like I almost said and he was a transformational educational
- 9:31theorist by the way, and someone who's brought a great deal of
- 9:35insight into the world in terms of what What it means to truly
- 9:38transform. I highly recommend looking him
- 9:41up, or studying him a little bit Jack, mesirow someone, who I
- 9:45studied, under my my trainings in my graduate work.
- 9:51At the right foundation at the right Graduate University and
- 9:55and so just know that your natural inclination and you're
- 9:58simply tuning in to notice that. When you think you want to start
- 10:02something new, it doesn't mean you do it and that's the
- 10:05discernment. That's what you can decide to
- 10:07do. But give yourself some credit
- 10:09like that's amazing. You want to learn new things and
- 10:12you're 64 way to go like let's do that right.
- 10:15But it doesn't mean you do it right now and you can have some
- 10:18fun with it. You can think about it in a way
- 10:19that it's serving You but really I think of it like this is like
- 10:23a little in the inner clock that's reminding you of your
- 10:27aliveness. It's reminding you that you are
- 10:29a human who's designed to transform and these are awesome
- 10:32skills and activities or learning Endeavors that will
- 10:36help you progress in that world of transformation because you're
- 10:40becoming someone who you couldn't have imagined you
- 10:42become maybe if you learn these skills.
- 10:44I think that that's the cool part.
- 10:46And so I want to remind you that that's not a bad thing like it's
- 10:49okay to be About these things. The key is to know what serves
- 10:54you, okay? Like if you're wanting to learn
- 10:56the guitar, is it really because you want to go back to your why?
- 11:00Like why does this matter for me?
- 11:02You might discover. It's actually just because You
- 11:05have a thing for music. You love being creative.
- 11:09That's what you get down to. And that's actually the core
- 11:11yearning, that would be it underneath.
- 11:12That is what I would tell you, or you might discover.
- 11:16So all that means is like there's this desire and you to
- 11:18be creative. It might be the guitar.
- 11:21It could be cooking class. It could be reading like stories
- 11:25to your child. Like that's the key part and
- 11:28maybe for you the thought and idea of playing the guitar will
- 11:32serve that, but it doesn't necessarily need to be the
- 11:35Tarek's, actually, these Journeys that are going on
- 11:37deeper down that are servicing up because they are really
- 11:42wanting to get met if that makes sense.
- 11:45All right. So, how does this all fit?
- 11:46Let's kind of recap this, right? So, how do you explore?
- 11:50But not burn out with our theme today and at the end of the
- 11:53year, right? So I think it's not about doing
- 11:57everything at once being like Oh I got to do that because that's
- 12:00like a Instinct sometimes but the really out the reality is it
- 12:03may not be the right time. I'm and doesn't mean it can't be
- 12:07done but what will serve you most?
- 12:09So how do you explore is to give yourself permission to explore
- 12:13first? It's not a bad thing.
- 12:15It's really just your Humanity. That's on its course for
- 12:18transformation, which is pretty cool.
- 12:20And as a leader, that's important, right?
- 12:23Your awareness is deepening, as you allow yourself to explore
- 12:27this. So, give yourself permission to
- 12:29be creative and to understand what's going on right now.
- 12:32Imagine you're the detective exploring This world of new
- 12:37exciting things you could do and the idea is to prioritize that
- 12:41as well. So once you ask these questions
- 12:44and get curious about it knowing your deeper, why, what do you
- 12:47decide? Okay, yeah, this isn't going to
- 12:49work right now. I am booked solid for the rest
- 12:51of the year and it's the end of the year.
- 12:53I want to have time to chill out and be with my family and relax
- 12:56and not have to take another thing on, right?
- 12:59So it's about a little planning and knowing that maybe it's not
- 13:03right now but this is a This is a big priority for three years.
- 13:07I've been wanting to clean the pantry.
- 13:08I mean, that's literally something that could be on that
- 13:10list, right? You want to explore organization
- 13:13in your house? Right?
- 13:16All of this is our options. So the key is don't shut it
- 13:20down, and don't blame yourself because that's an option, right?
- 13:24You could, if you were aware of it, but rather explore it.
- 13:30And that by, that is, is you are Curious.
- 13:32George. You are thinking objectively,
- 13:34but giving yourself that time to, to commit to journaling, to
- 13:37it, or Talking about it or, or giving yourself permission to
- 13:41just be objective and think about, what could be the
- 13:44benefits in the pros and cons of it.
- 13:46And I'm pretty sure it by that, that will be fulfilling for you,
- 13:49and you can make a choice. You can make the decision of
- 13:51what will work for. You better tune in to those
- 13:54feelings because they are tied to those deeper yearnings that
- 13:56we were talking about. And I bet you anything, you will
- 13:59have a much better direction for what to explore, how to do it
- 14:03and why and and if you can't come up with those reasons, it's
- 14:07probably not a good decision. Asian right?
- 14:08Maybe that why isn't necessarily there or it's just like you're
- 14:12not that excited about the why you're like oh yeah well my
- 14:15great aunt said this would be a great hobby, I should learn.
- 14:17So I guess that's what I was going to do watercolors and then
- 14:20you're like, wait what? No I don't want to do
- 14:22watercolors. That's not what I wanted to do
- 14:24at all so I'm excited for you to explore this and let me know how
- 14:29it goes right. Like this is what I help my
- 14:31clients with because there's so many choices in front of us
- 14:33every day, but if we're not connected to that deeper
- 14:36awareness or our feelings, Or those yearnings.
- 14:39Then we're never going to understand what would serve us.
- 14:41But the really great way to start that is to give yourself
- 14:45permission to explore it and that feels fulfilling, it's not
- 14:48necessarily a half to. So then it doesn't feel draining
- 14:52you have and keep the autonomy for it, right?
- 14:56It's your choice to do this to discover what might work, and
- 14:59what might not. And you can think of it like a
- 15:01new frontier for the next year, like what could be on my plate
- 15:05for next year? That would be really exciting
- 15:06for me and maybe you have A list of 20 things right now because
- 15:09you love exploring things, right.
- 15:11I think that's totally possible. Great will write them down and
- 15:14then maybe pick this year a couple and this could be
- 15:17literally a bucket list, right? I think it'd be all the things
- 15:20you want to do so just pick maybe start with literally one
- 15:23or two. Don't go crazy.
- 15:25One number 1 will be the number one.
- 15:27Maybe you don't know, right? Maybe it's a little bit of like,
- 15:29I have like 20 things. That's okay, just go and pick
- 15:32one like that's the decision and that's a view that's like when
- 15:36you are connected to those That you have that are really good
- 15:39for indicating and decision-making.
- 15:42They will get stronger as you practice naming, feelings, and
- 15:45being more emotionally intelligent.
- 15:48As you are aware of what's going on around you and inside you.
- 15:53All right, friends. I hope this was helpful, drop me
- 15:55a note, and let me know what you think.
- 15:57If this is something to try, I want to hear from you.
- 15:59I want to know if you've tried it.
- 16:01What did you come up with? So that you did explore?
- 16:04And then hopefully, this isn't something that stressed you out
- 16:07or really led to any more additional burden or work that
- 16:11you have. This is why is because it's in
- 16:14service to your doing, right? You're going about it with a
- 16:16curious approach, which means it's novel, which means it's
- 16:20exciting. And there's nothing about it.
- 16:22That would feel I think draining or exhausting because this is
- 16:27how it works and I'm excited for you and if that's not the case,
- 16:31maybe maybe it didn't work, I don't know.
- 16:32Maybe maybe there's something else that you need support on.
- 16:34That's okay too. I would love to hear from you so
- 16:37I can support you and help. Up to redirect and guide.
- 16:40Thanks so much and I will see you next time.
- 16:42Have fun exploring bye-bye. Thanks for listening today to
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