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Self Awareness And Spirituality: Letting Go Of The Victim Mindset · Mindful You

0:01
Alan Carroll: Hi, Lauren, welcome to the show.
0:02
Laurin Wittig: Hey, Alan, thanks for having me. I'm looking
0:04
forward to yet another good conversation with you.
0:07
Alan Carroll: Yeah, we've had, we've had a few conversations we
0:10
have. Yeah. Yeah. And one of the things that we've had in our
0:14
conversation, and was spirituality. Yeah, the idea
0:21
that there is a state of awareness, a state of
0:25
consciousness, beyond what we would refer to as the physical
0:30
plane of awareness. And what I like to do is, hear what you
0:37
would use to describe that, that space of spirituality. And those
0:45
folks who want to access that dimension of spirituality, what
0:50
are some of the things that they could do in their, in their own
0:55
practice, in order to build that, that connection to the
1:00
spiritual part of our, of our life?
1:05
Laurin Wittig: Okay, so that's a lot. Spirituality, for me is
1:09
really almost more of a feeling than an intellectual thing that
1:12
I can I can put words to easily, but it's, it is, for me, it's
1:20
being connected to the energy of everything around me in a
1:23
conscious way. And that conscious way has built over
1:26
time, it's not something that I just, you know, figured out one
1:30
day I could do, it's been building and I've worked with
1:33
other people who do energy work, because that's my area of
1:36
expertise is energy healing. But that once you start to get
1:44
since, like, like sensory validation that you're
1:49
experiencing something different. And that for me is
1:53
that I feel energy in the palms of my hands. That's, that's how
1:56
I work with the energy of people or the world or my pet my dog or
2:00
things, is I kind of feel like they're satellite dishes, they
2:04
they're receiving the energy, they're receiving the signal. So
2:08
for me, that's how I tactically experience what's not there,
2:12
what's not visible, right. And for me, that was a very
2:17
validating thing. Especially when I began to practice I did a
2:22
lot of practicing before I decided I could actually do
2:24
energy work, but practicing with people who also are able to
2:29
experience energy moving through them. Because they would say,
2:33
Oh, I'm feeling you do this, and they'd have their eyes closed.
2:35
And I'd know they couldn't see what I was doing. But it was
2:38
right where I was working at the moment. So there's things like
2:41
that, that are very validating. The other thing for me, that was
2:44
huge, and it's one of my my favorite things to teach people
2:49
and do is, is that you can't you have guides, we all have guides,
2:53
they can take many forms. You can call them whatever you like,
2:56
it could be God, it could be all it is. It could be Gaia, it
2:59
could be angels, it could be power animals doesn't matter.
3:02
They're all pretty much spirit, right? And each culture seems to
3:06
have its own sort of way of visualizing that. Yeah, that's
3:11
true. Really, you know, we humans like to name things,
3:14
right. That's how we understand them. So for me, it's it's a lot
3:18
of angels. But it's a lot of ancestral. I do a lot of
3:20
shamanic work and boys that awesome in terms of taking you
3:25
down a rabbit hole that is super spiritual, and hard to explain
3:31
to people who haven't experienced, I guess it's what I
3:34
can say. But it's I just lost my track. Oh, the guides. I started
3:43
learning to talk to the guides. And then I started learning how
3:49
to get answers back. And my favorite thing, I've got one
3:55
right here. I always keep these handy. My favorite tools. The
3:59
first one I ever learned to use is a pendulum. And it's such a
4:02
simple little thing. And you can ask questions of your guides and
4:09
ask them and it'll give you a yes or no answer. Very simple.
4:12
So is my name Lauren? Minus it's probably hard to see this going
4:16
in a circle. Yeah, and that's my Yes. Yours might not be. Now
4:21
it's showing me no. Okay. No, it's ahead of me. No is for me
4:26
as a left right swing, but everybody has their own so you
4:29
train a pendulum just by saying show me Yes. And show me in no.
4:34
And you can start asking questions and getting answers.
4:38
So I use this a lot now to validate myself because for
4:42
instance, I'm looking I'm working with somebody after this
4:45
I have client coming in and I was going to try I'm going to
4:47
use a new protocol I've just learned and I but it wasn't sure
4:50
I should I think I should but I'm not sure so I got this out
4:53
and said should I use this you know in should I use this with
4:56
that client and I got a big ol yes really fast. I was like
4:58
Okay, thank you. I just wanted to bail. Did I got that, right?
5:02
So
5:02
Alan Carroll: there are really fascinating that that you can
5:06
make a connection to a dimension of consciousness and have a two
5:15
way communication to make that that certainly validates the
5:23
fact that there is something beyond the physical, which would
5:26
be beneficial and to be able to connect with.
5:29
Laurin Wittig: Yeah, it also begins to validate your own
5:32
intuition. Because you'll get an intuitive hit about something
5:36
like I did for this client. I was kind of sitting here going,
5:38
what should I you know, is there something specific I should do?
5:41
Oh, I got this new protocol that I haven't tried yet. Maybe that,
5:44
and my, that was my intuition kicking in yet got that new
5:47
thing. And, and so my intuition was, yeah, that's the right
5:52
thing. But I was able to validate it with a visual tool.
5:55
And for me, that was a game changer. Wow, it was it was a
6:00
game changer. And even better, is what I use a lot now is what
6:05
a lot of people call automatic writing, but I'm not sure that's
6:08
exactly the same thing. I love to I can type with my eyes
6:12
closed. So computers work well for me, but you can do it
6:14
longhand, I ask a question I type the question in. And then I
6:19
wait. And because I can type with my eyes closed, I close my
6:22
eyes and just allow whatever wants to come through me. And I
6:25
start typing it. I don't ask and I don't question it. I don't
6:30
censor it. I don't edit it. Just let it flow. And then often I'll
6:35
stop and read that answer. And it's not in my voice. It's not
6:41
the way I phrase things. It's not the metaphors I would use.
6:45
It's often more formal language than I would use. But I can also
6:50
then ask another question. Oh, so you bring up this point, let
6:53
me ask another question. And I type it in. So you can have an
6:56
ongoing conversation. And for me, that's my favorite tool.
7:01
Alan Carroll: Wow. Yeah. So how long have you been involved in
7:06
this workload?
7:08
Laurin Wittig: That's a really good question. I would I'm
7:10
trying to think back when I first learned that particular
7:14
tool, I was still writing books. My last book, I finished in like
7:20
2014. So probably a little bit before that was when I really
7:25
started consciously communicating with my guides.
7:29
Alan Carroll: So the books that you wrote, dealing with the work
7:32
that you're doing,
7:34
Laurin Wittig: oddly, four of the six were, I write I wrote, I
7:39
don't I'm not writing them anymore. But historical romance
7:41
and medieval Scotland were magical cultures. Oh, very first
7:47
book was about a healer, who worked with energy from her
7:51
hands. I did not know that. I could do that when I wrote that
7:54
book. So yeah, it was not a conscious thing. But clearly,
7:59
Spirit was working through me on that too.
8:03
Alan Carroll: Now, the palms of the hands, there's a lot of
8:08
sensitivity. There's this laying on of the hands, I've heard that
8:13
that expression is that expression that you use the
8:15
laying on of hands,
8:17
Laurin Wittig: it's not one that I use, partly because I
8:20
typically work off the body about three to four inches. But
8:23
there's a chakra, a minor chakra in the palms of your hands. So
8:27
the chakras are the main most people know the seven or have
8:30
maybe heard the seven that are the main something
8:33
Alan Carroll: down the spine. Yes. Yeah. So those
8:35
Laurin Wittig: are your really those are the big, you know,
8:37
full on chakras. We have minor chakras. We have my new chakras
8:42
all over the body. And all they are is if you know, Chinese
8:47
medicine at all acupressure acupuncture. Sure is what the
8:50
meridians Yep, well, where there's I can never remember the
8:53
numbers. But the the main chakras are where there's just a
8:56
whole bunch of those meridians crossing in the same place. The
9:00
minor ones there have less of those lines crossing through
9:04
them. The minute ones might only have one or two, probably at
9:08
least two. But I have this instinct for where they are.
9:13
Without before I ever knew about anything other than the major
9:16
chakras. I knew that this was a place that was important. I knew
9:19
that that the soul of the foot, you know, where you have that
9:25
like the two balls at the front of your foot, and then there's
9:27
that little sort of indentation between them. There's a chakra
9:30
right in there. I found that before I knew what it was, you
9:33
know, so I have an affinity for for these things, obviously. So
9:39
yeah, so I don't call it laying on of hands. I do sometimes work
9:42
hands on. When I do Reiki I'll often actually put my hands on
9:45
the body. So in a way, I mean, it is laying on the hands. It's
9:49
just done with a very specific intention. Because that's really
9:54
each of the modalities that I've been learning about energy
9:57
healing, it's just a different way of in tensioning how you're
9:59
working with Energy.
10:02
Alan Carroll: The person is lying down on a table. Yep, the
10:07
massage table, and you put your hands three or four inches above
10:12
the body and you start to tune into what a second? What's going
10:17
on there, feel a little heat there feel a little cold there.
10:21
If you do with hot and cold, how do you what's the senses in your
10:26
hands?
10:26
Laurin Wittig: It primarily it's the best way to talk about it is
10:32
like water flowing. So if everything is moving, well
10:36
you're balanced and your energy systems working at peak
10:38
performance, which is almost never what I see in people
10:41
because they come to me because something's not working, right.
10:43
But if it is, I feel like it's warm water flowing. Like there's
10:47
no impediments. And it's just this beautiful, warm feeling. If
10:53
there's no energy moving through something, I feel it is cold, or
10:57
cool that different people feel a different way. So So you know,
11:02
don't think that if you that you have to feel it that way, if you
11:04
if you're interpreting no energy, what I find most often
11:08
is what I call a turbulence. So just like water going over
11:12
rapid, you get air bubbles in there and their sticks that are
11:15
on there, and maybe a boulder that it's got to go around.
11:18
That's a blockage of some sort to me. And it feels very prickly
11:21
in my in my palms. So those are the main three things that I
11:26
feel I do go through first things everybody is I go through
11:30
and check all seven of the major chakras. And I often find that
11:35
they're not in alignment. So imagine if your spine was not
11:38
new, if you had scoliosis or something, then the nervous
11:41
systems aren't going to work well the bones can't work well
11:43
together. Same with the that major chakra system, if it's not
11:47
in good alignment, then the energy is not flowing well,
11:51
because it's gotta go around things. And it's and your
11:54
chakras can be completely out of that spinal column alignment. So
11:59
Alan Carroll: let's say I, I feel something out of alignment,
12:03
I feel something that's cold, I feel that in a sense, there's a
12:07
blockage. So as a healer, what I want to do is somehow reduce the
12:12
blockage and allow that warm flow of river water flow into
12:17
the garden again, yeah, what do you do to remove the blockage?
12:21
Laurin Wittig: Well, I've learned from a lot a lot of
12:24
experience, including my own healing, you know, where people
12:26
were doing healing work for me, that those blockages are usually
12:30
some story that you've been telling yourself. So it's a
12:32
belief now, and it's maybe it's a trauma, or it's something that
12:37
stuck in your body, and you're not allowing yourself to
12:41
acknowledge it and process it. So we are taught to shove our
12:45
emotions into our bodies, right? It's like, it's our culture,
12:50
that gets very uncomfortable. If we express like, especially
12:53
sadness, or grief or anger, you know, those kinds of things. And
12:57
so particularly women, I find stuff, our emotions are
13:01
uncomfortable emotions into our hips. So that's in that that
13:04
whole hip cradle area. Men, I find tend to do it in shoulders.
13:11
So I mean, I haven't worked with a lot of men, but the men I've
13:14
found I've worked with Tip tend to have it in the shoulders. But
13:17
once I find that I'm first of all, I'm thinking about the area
13:21
of the chakra area, the main chakra area, because that that
13:24
sort of governs different parts of your of your experience. But
13:29
I'm looking for the story. And the way I do that, this is where
13:32
the intuitive comes in. I can talk to spirit, and I've always
13:37
invited in my clients spirits to be with us and to help and to
13:40
work through me if needed. And so usually something I'll get an
13:44
image, you know, in my head, I'll get maybe a word, I
13:49
sometimes get lyrics, you know, song lyrics, I may see a place
13:54
or something that gives me a certain time, you know, era or
13:57
something. And sometimes I know what it is, sometimes I just
14:02
intuitively understand what I'm being given. But often I'll go
14:06
okay, to the client. I don't know why I'm getting this. But
14:09
here's, I just got this lyric, or I'm seeing this kind of
14:12
picture. And I think it's, you know, like, it's a farm, maybe I
14:16
don't know, it doesn't look like it's ancient or anything, but
14:18
it's not like in our lifetime or, you know, something like
14:21
that. And 10 times out of 10 the client figures it out or knows
14:27
immediately what what it's referring to. And then that
14:30
allows us to have a conversation about whatever that's brought us
14:33
to. And so I'm the whole time we're talking about it, I'm
14:37
working with the energy trying to loosen it up. And it's really
14:40
all hand motion. For me. It's it's kind of like, you know, if
14:42
you if you put your hand on water and stir it up, it starts
14:45
to move and things can flow differently. So I'm working with
14:48
that. I find what I call sludge in a lot of them, which to me
14:52
looks like black tar kind of goo. So sometimes I'm unwinding
14:57
that and pulling it out and sending it into the light while
14:59
we're Talking about all this. Because if you don't reveal what
15:04
the problem is, which I do, by bringing it up, where we can
15:08
talk about it, it's not going to go away. So as I talk about my
15:13
processes reveal, so bring it up, release, process, and then
15:19
transform. And that's where you get to heal. That's the healing.
15:23
Alan Carroll: Go ahead and say that again, Lauren. So my
15:25
audience can, repetition is the mother of learning, I learned,
15:29
just to say that, again,
15:31
Laurin Wittig: it does require me to remember what I just said.
15:33
But there's three steps that I talk about with my healing,
15:37
there's reveal, which is finding what is causing the block, and
15:42
bringing it up, I often call it bringing it up into the light,
15:46
bringing it up into consciousness, because it's all
15:48
subconscious when it's stuck in your body. So we bring it up
15:51
into consciousness. And we start to talk about it while I'm
15:54
working with the energy. So I'm loosening up the energy, the
15:57
conversation is helping to loosen up the energy we are
16:00
sometimes we're problem solving, how can we look at this from a
16:03
different perspective, you were a four year old things that are
16:07
terribly traumatic at four are often no big deal when you're
16:10
30. So it's things like that, that we can we can discuss, we
16:15
can talk about we can and I can move the energy of, and then we
16:20
get to transform from pain into health or wellness or
16:25
improvement. And it's it's a beautiful three, three part
16:30
process that I go through again, and again and again, with my
16:33
clients. And it's it's magical.
16:35
Alan Carroll: Yeah, it's really, it's, it's using the I'll call
16:41
it the fifth element of space, which is the metaphysical
16:44
spiritual element. And you are, the word that comes to my mind
16:52
is aeration. When you when you aerate something that's
16:56
condensed, it loosens it. Yes. And those pockets of blocks are
17:03
like something is condensed there. And yeah, that's a great
17:07
way to say it. In the mind. There's a story connected with
17:11
the condensing. And if we can uncork the story, it releases
17:18
that energy, which directly affects the physical body. And
17:24
it gets released in the physical body, which then leads to a
17:28
conversation of mindfulness. Yes, because mindfulness is to
17:33
be aware of the thoughts, and how do you manage those
17:39
thoughts? And, and so when we talk about mindfulness and
17:42
spirituality, what are what are the connections that you see
17:48
between being mindful and the work that you do?
17:54
Laurin Wittig: Well, I mean, mindfulness is a whole lot of
17:57
things to me. For me, a meditation practice is sort of
18:01
where I first go to with mindfulness. But I also think
18:04
that the mindfulness and I learned this through getting
18:06
quiet with meditation is that ability to turn inside into an
18:11
inside yourself. In Word, that's the word I'm looking for, and
18:15
pay attention to what's going on. You know, so there's a
18:19
mindfulness about what's really happening in my body, what's
18:22
really happening in my egoic brain. That's just repeating
18:27
things that are not helpful to us or that are keeping us
18:30
trapped and patterns. So getting mindful about them for me, is,
18:36
first of all, recognizing what's going on. Being aware. You know,
18:40
that's the very first step at what you can't what you can't be
18:43
aware of, you can't fix as far as I know. But then getting
18:48
curious. Like, okay, I have this story. Where did this story come
18:52
from? Why was it so important? How can I reframe that, and for
18:58
me, most of my stories that were causing the problem where I was
19:01
putting myself in a victim mode, you know, I was the victim of,
19:05
you know, my parents or situations and having an
19:11
epiphany one day and meditation that I was doing that allowed me
19:15
to go away I'm not a victim. I am strong person I like the life
19:19
I have. Everything has turned out really well. I've learned so
19:22
much from what I've done. And that's a perspective change.
19:26
Right? It's stepping out of the Oh poor pitiful me as my dad
19:30
used to say to I have a look at all this great stuff that I have
19:36
all this great stuff going on in my life. The person I am I
19:39
really like maybe there's some things that I want to change
19:41
still, but that's just called life. But being able to flip out
19:47
of that I'm a victim of my I'll say my mother because that's
19:50
what I was dealing with at the time sure, to look how strong
19:54
she has made me by being such a difficult person and It totally
20:00
changed my relationship with myself and totally changed my
20:03
relationship with her and allowed all kinds of things to
20:05
release. And it was, if not instantaneous, it was just a day
20:11
or two, before I really was aware of a massive change within
20:14
myself. Wow. So for me, that's mindfulness is pure, let giving
20:20
yourself the time space and quiet, to look inward to
20:24
acknowledge, and then reframe it, find a better way to look at
20:28
it.
20:29
Alan Carroll: Excellent, very, very nice. I find that the did
20:34
two words you mentioned one was the meditation. And then you you
20:41
mentioned awareness of what's going on inside of you. And I
20:46
find that most people are, are trapped by the thoughts that
20:53
they're thinking about the situation that they're
20:57
experiencing, and they're not able to stop. Take a step back,
21:05
observe physical tension in your body. Something has pressed a
21:11
button out there in the outer world, it all triggers and
21:15
you're getting, you're getting stirred up with your thoughts.
21:19
And, and if you're not able to, to manage those thoughts, and in
21:25
the way I say is close to the way you say it, you can't manage
21:30
something you can't see. And if you don't see your body going
21:34
wacko in front of you right now, if you don't feel the anger
21:38
stirring up inside of you, if you don't know that that person,
21:41
you're making that person wrong, and that it's causing you to be
21:44
a victim, then you're at the effect. Right. And that's not
21:49
gonna, that's not going to escort you out of the the the
21:55
suffering, the psychological suffering that you are
21:58
experiencing. Yeah, so mindfulness is about that self
22:03
awareness. And most people don't have it. Most people I see.
22:08
They're just that's the way it is. Yeah.
22:13
Laurin Wittig: Oh, I can't change that. It's just the way
22:15
it is. It's like, I'm sorry. But yes, you can change it. But you
22:17
have to
22:18
Alan Carroll: want I can't, and why? Why is it difficult,
22:21
psychologically, for people to rewrite the story of the victim?
22:26
Why, why why? Why would you continue to write a story that
22:30
is causing you psychological and physical and emotional
22:33
suffering? What what, what causes somebody to hold on to a
22:37
story like that?
22:40
Laurin Wittig: I think I know I can speak for me, because it's
22:42
this is a journey I have taken in the last five or six years of
22:47
my life so far. For me, a lot of it was I didn't want to take
22:53
responsibility for fixing myself, I wanted the other
22:57
person to fix themselves. And that lack of responsibility for
23:02
my own happiness in my own health, because it really had a
23:06
big impact on my health to be in victim mode. You bet. And it and
23:13
you know, it was my mother, I had protected myself from her my
23:17
whole life. And it was not without reason. She was a
23:20
narcissist, and she was really good at gaslighting people. So
23:25
but, you know, I was like, wait a minute, I'm an adult, I'm not
23:28
a kid anymore. I have made some very good boundaries with her.
23:34
And I can, I can take the responsibility for my own
23:38
happiness. And, I mean, people have been telling me I needed to
23:43
do that I needed to forgive her. I'm like, I can't forgive her.
23:45
She did all this shit to me kind of stuff. But I really it was it
23:50
was a lot of not only forgiving her for being the heart of the
23:54
person she is, was being grateful that she did the best
23:59
she could. She did did the best she was capable of doing it.
24:05
That changed my perspective. Yep. And the other thing was to
24:08
stop judging her. Because a lot of what keeps us trapped is
24:13
we're so busy judging everybody else. They're not doing it
24:17
right. She needs to be a better mom. You know that person. Even,
24:21
you know, like at the stoplight. It's crazy. Why aren't you
24:24
going? That kind of thing. We judge all the time. I think it
24:29
must be the nature of humans, but it's really become a
24:33
practice of mine to catch myself doing that. Yes. We all do it
24:38
and we're gonna always do it. It's just part of part of us, I
24:41
think. But I catch myself quickly now.
24:44
Alan Carroll: Yeah, doing it. Yes, yes. Yes. And
24:47
Laurin Wittig: I follow a lot of what I feel in your energy and
24:49
that is I I'll sit back. Take a really good breath. Yep. Try to
24:58
find a different perspective. I love the traffic stuff because I
25:03
think we all have issues in traffic. But you know, if I can
25:07
say, well, maybe that guy's had a really bad day, and he's kind
25:09
of tired, maybe work the night shift, and he just hasn't
25:11
realized yet that the light has changed yet. Oh, well, me, bless
25:16
his heart. I just wish he like, Okay, I that's fine. I'm fine.
25:20
You just do what you can when you can. Okay? It's just little
25:24
things. And for me, the storyteller in me is allows me
25:29
to get curious about the person my dad taught me to be a people
25:31
watcher early on, and we would play get the game of okay, that
25:35
person is carrying a briefcase. I wonder what's in that
25:36
briefcase? I wonder what that person's job is? I wonder how to
25:39
say that. Is the person marry that? Yeah, it's all of these
25:42
fun little things that were a game. But they served me really
25:46
well now. Because I can say, Hmm, so that person is stuck at
25:51
the, at the light. Maybe Maybe he fell asleep. And I don't want
25:55
him driving anyway, maybe he's a little distracted. Because
25:59
something just happened that upset him. Maybe he's on his way
26:03
to meet his baby girl. And he's just not paying attention to
26:05
everything. Yeah, it's an and that that may be it writers
26:09
caught? What if? You know, because when we start dreaming
26:13
up Characters or plot to go, Well, what if this person was
26:15
like this? Or what if this happened in the plot? And what
26:18
would that person do? And so it's a really handy little tool.
26:21
But, but it takes away the judgment, it gives you a
26:25
different perspective. And if you look at it as a game, then
26:29
you know, that just automatically lifts the energy
26:31
of it.
26:32
Alan Carroll: That's really, really what you just said is
26:36
matches my experience exactly. I'm driving down the road, and
26:43
the person is driving a pickup truck ahead of me. And they're
26:49
sort of erratic, you know, not driving the way I would drive,
26:52
right. And so you start to create the story about what's
26:58
going on in that person's life. And based on my
27:02
Laurin Wittig: story, the what? It's usually not a nice story.
27:05
Alan Carroll: That's right, they're wrong. That's my
27:07
judgment. They're not doing it the right way. Exactly. And what
27:12
happens is, once I write that story, in my mind, that becomes
27:17
the way I interact with that picture in the movie. And one
27:21
day, I just wait a minute. Do I have to write that story that
27:28
way? Could I think of another way to write the story in a way
27:33
that as Tony Robbins said, people do the best they can with
27:37
the resources they have? Right? It's like, can you write a story
27:41
that has a more compassion to it? That is less ego involved in
27:45
it? Right? And all of a sudden about me,
27:49
Laurin Wittig: and it's more about them? said again, it's
27:52
less about me, right? And more about them. Right?
27:56
Alan Carroll: Right. The idea is that I, I can change the
28:03
narrative. But the challenge that I find changing the
28:07
narrative is I have to let go of the narrative, my initial
28:12
narrative, which is based on my conditioning, and letting go
28:18
requires flexibility and mental flexibility of not clinging to
28:24
those thoughts. Right. So I so I imagine that with meditation,
28:29
you talked about meditation, I find that meditation is managing
28:33
those thoughts, loosening up those thoughts that you're
28:37
thinking air rating, air rating, the thoughts, adding space to
28:42
something, dissolving something, fluidity, you're, you're flowing
28:47
more, you're not resisting so much. And so you are talking
28:54
exactly about flexibility. Not resisting reframing is one of
29:00
the words in NLP they talk about a lot. How could you reframe it?
29:06
The problem is that you have to, you have to be able to observe,
29:11
you have to be able to step back. And most people that I
29:14
find, step back means forgiving. And you mentioned goodness and
29:19
forgiveness is, you know, talking about forgiveness and
29:24
the importance of forgiveness, Laurie?
29:26
Laurin Wittig: Yeah, it's hard. That was that was where I got to
29:29
with my mom, that changed everything is once I changed my
29:32
perspective, and I one of the ways the visualizations I used
29:36
to talk about perspective is I call it the Hawks eye view. You
29:39
know, I love birds. So the Hawks fly really high and they see
29:42
really sharp down below, but it's a very different
29:45
perspective than if you're right here in it. And yep, so I try to
29:50
imagine myself flying above whatever's going on and and
29:53
helping that helps me change my perspective. The microscope
30:00
activ about my mother, when I got out of the victim mode took
30:02
responsibility for my own emotions and my own story.
30:07
Whatever story I wanted to write, I not only was easy to
30:11
forgive her, because that, that idea of going, you know, putting
30:16
myself in her shoes for one thing, she was 22 years old when
30:21
I was born, my dad's youngest brother, who was seven had just
30:24
come to live with them, because his parents were both gone. They
30:27
were young, they were, you know, they were fresh out of law
30:29
school. And my dad had a nervous breakdown. And here's my mom,
30:35
you know, seven months pregnant with me when when my brother my
30:38
uncle, but I call my brother came to live with us, and her
30:41
husband of three years or four years, is having a nervous
30:45
breakdown. And there's nobody to hold it together. But her what
30:52
kind of strength did that take in this 22 year old girl, right?
30:58
And when I really was able to like put myself in her shoes and
31:01
think, oh my god, I would be like a basket case I would never
31:04
have had the you know, the the strength and with the strength
31:08
of will to take care of everybody. Because she was she
31:11
had a newborn baby, she had this kid who was traumatized from
31:14
losing his family so early and, and this husband who was falling
31:18
apart, and doing that little exercise changed everything for
31:24
me. I've been a mother with a baby who was sick and you know,
31:28
other responsibilities and changed it completely. And I was
31:32
able to go, you know, she did a pretty good job considering what
31:36
cards she was handed. Yep. And I can appreciate that. So instead
31:42
of saying, Why aren't you the mother? I wish you were right.
31:45
Oh, yeah, did a really good job with a really bad hand? Yep. And
31:51
that I was immediately able to forgive her. At that point for
31:56
not being the mother I wanted her to be You bet. And that was
32:00
huge. So that's, again, a perspective change. You know, if
32:03
you can, if you can walk in another man's shoes, you know,
32:06
you can see through their eyes and through what they came
32:09
through. And of course, I was, you know, not even born when all
32:12
that was starting. And so I didn't have any perspective
32:16
about it, except, you know, from my conscious, growing up years.
32:20
So that was, that was really a powerful moment for me to
32:24
forgive her. But then I also was able to forgive myself for not
32:31
stepping up and understanding that sooner. Yep. That's great.
32:36
What a change that made for both of us. We went from i She was
32:41
defensive, I was I was always Bear Bear cating myself
32:45
energetically from her energy. And the last probably couple of
32:50
months of her life. We had this really lovely softening of the
32:55
relationship, a gentleness, a compassion. She told me she was
32:59
proud of me for the first time in my life. Wow. Makes me teary.
33:03
Alan Carroll: Yeah, too. Yeah, I feel it. I feel Yeah,
33:05
Laurin Wittig: it was. Yeah. I mean, that's, it's like, ah,
33:09
Alan Carroll: yeah, that's big. And it was
33:11
Laurin Wittig: it was a life changing lesson for me to go
33:15
through that process, and, and I knew I was smart enough, I had
33:19
learned enough about spirituality know that there was
33:21
a reason we were still in that kind of locked together place.
33:25
And that she wasn't going to go until I got the lesson. And I
33:29
got the lesson and there wasn't long before she passed. And
33:34
yeah, so it's, it's been, it's been lovely to be able to look
33:37
back on her and admire what she did in the world. Because she
33:42
did, she did a ton of really good stuff. But I couldn't see
33:46
it for all my own crap. So yeah, so forgiveness is hard. But it
33:53
is such a healing thing for both parties. That it's worth working
34:00
on.
34:03
Alan Carroll: I'm I forgiveness. I asked myself, Why can't the
34:11
the ego forgive? And in the Course of Miracles, they spend
34:18
quite a bit of time talking about forgiveness. Okay. And
34:21
they say why, why we why the ego can't forgive is because it
34:26
would entail a, an undeserved sacrifice of my righteous wrath.
34:31
Yes, it would, it would be a gift that's undeserved and
34:35
unjustified. It would be a complete denial of the truth.
34:41
And, and so I live in that, that that frame of reality and that,
34:46
that creates my identity. And for me to let that go, would
34:52
would would dissolve a piece of the psychological identity that
34:58
I've identified myself have to be. And my ego is not in the
35:02
dissolving business. Right ego is in the holding on preserving
35:06
and defending my point of view business. Right and forgiveness.
35:10
So so when you when you forgave your mother, your mother
35:15
transformed in your eyes. Yeah. And transform for her. Yes. And
35:20
that is said, That's happiness. So happiness is something about
35:24
inside of you first and not forget trying to change the
35:29
world out there. It's just focus on the thoughts that you use to
35:33
paint that world in your mind.
35:35
Laurin Wittig: Right? Yeah, yeah, it's, um, it is a simple
35:40
thing that is very hard to do. But it gets easier as you as I
35:45
think, for me, at least as I've moved down my spiritual path
35:48
and, and really worked on opening up my heart and
35:53
understanding a lot more about how how the universe works,
35:57
because it works in vast and mysterious and wonderful ways.
36:02
And it helps me to understand that there's always a reason for
36:07
something. There's always something for me, and whatever's
36:11
going on. And especially if it's pissing me off, it's like,
36:15
dammit, what did what do I need to learn from this? So it's,
36:22
yeah, it's, it's, it's a it's a wonderful thing to do for
36:27
yourself and for those around you. And then that ripples out
36:30
to the world. Yep. Because if I'm no longer in this kind of
36:36
icky energy, I'm not putting that out in the world anymore.
36:39
For one thing, or not, not often. But now the other person,
36:45
my mother, in this case, also wasn't putting that out to the
36:47
world because she didn't have to anymore. Right? And then
36:51
energies like water, it's like when you drop a pebble in the in
36:55
a lake, and the ripples go out and out and out and out. You're
37:00
changing the world just by opening up your heart and
37:03
letting go of
37:05
Alan Carroll: it. Isn't that sweet?
37:07
Laurin Wittig: In that sweet? Yeah, it's, it's easy. And when
37:10
you think about it, to change the world, if you understand
37:13
that it starts with your own really starts with your own
37:15
heart, the energy of that,
37:18
Alan Carroll: right, I'm I, I understand the the the idea of
37:26
the saying is, God cannot do for you, what God cannot do through
37:32
you. And if you allow yourself to be a channel for the
37:37
spiritual energy and not judging it and not resisting it, I'm not
37:41
ready. I'm not old enough. I haven't meditated enough. I'm
37:45
not worthy. This I'm not worthy. I'm a victim, who am I to think
37:50
that I can heal? But if I believe that I'm a divine being,
37:56
and an energy form called the physical body, manifesting in
37:59
this spiritual point in time than I will allow, why would I
38:05
not practice forgiveness in every moment of my life? For the
38:10
in Christianity, they talk about salvation, and salvation is the
38:14
forgiveness of sin. And so the forgiveness of your mother is
38:18
there some sort of wrongness in there, and when you forgive it,
38:22
the wrongness dissolves and it dissolves inside of you. And you
38:26
become a channel of the light. Yeah, and you're you are a
38:29
channel you are a channel of light. Yeah,
38:32
Laurin Wittig: that's exactly what I've experienced. And I
38:34
love it. I love it. I know that I can light things up. Yeah, I
38:38
can it's I have been called enlightenment and all of that.
38:42
Yes, enlightenment
38:43
Alan Carroll: called enlightenment. You're an
38:45
enlightened being you are you are in the enlightenment
38:47
business. You are enlightening other people you are reducing
38:51
the pain, reducing the heaviness and we are throwing things off
38:55
the hot air balloon has the basket when you want to make it
38:59
go higher. You throw the ballast off. So that makes it lighter
39:02
and lighter and lighter. So that's the what? Drop the
39:06
sandbags drop to sandbags. And so then revealing and vulnerable
39:11
and sharing stories and letting go of the of the sand bags of
39:15
their thoughts. It frees up some level of their consciousness and
39:21
they are able to experience a much more joyful place in
39:30
consciousness, a healing place in consciousness. And I refer to
39:33
it as mindfulness mindfulness is that that space in consciousness
39:38
in which you have been practicing, throwing the
39:40
sandbags throwing the sandbags off, and so you get lighter and
39:44
lighter and lighter and lighter and your being and joy and
39:47
happiness and love. But you don't have to wait for it to
39:51
happen to you. You can make it happen right now. Yeah, for
39:56
yourself. Just start. Just start loving this Start joyful just
40:01
start smiling and sharing yourself and being vulnerable.
40:06
And
40:06
Laurin Wittig: yeah, and here's, here's just a little tip. For
40:11
the listeners, if you're not super aware of what's going on
40:14
within you, I'm gonna get back to traffic because it's one of
40:17
those things we all share. If you notice that you're getting
40:21
that you like your maybe your throats tightening up, or you're
40:24
getting that that cramp in your stomach that you get when you
40:27
kind of anxious or mad or break up for me for years, because of
40:31
menopause, I would break out into a heavy sweat anytime I got
40:34
angry. Notice that, notice the physical, because your body is
40:41
telling you what's going on. And it's a wonderful way to start
40:46
noticing. Yes, we are usually aware of those things that don't
40:50
feel good in our body. We don't understand them. But it's a
40:54
communication. The body is a communicator for us. And so
40:57
that's just that's where I start. And I do it in traffic. I
41:01
get to those stoplight I'm like, Oh my gosh, oh, yeah, that feels
41:04
very, very good. Okay, take a breath. Yep. Think of a new
41:07
story that puts that person in a in a good light, or, or maybe
41:12
that person is just having a bad day. And I just need to send
41:14
them a little love and compassion. And that's fun to do
41:18
for people actually. Let me just light up your day.
41:23
Alan Carroll: That's nice. That's something you could do.
41:26
You don't experience the effect of it. But you think that you
41:29
know what if I just send that person some light and love, I
41:32
wonder if that will add that ripple into the into the field
41:35
of awareness?
41:36
Laurin Wittig: Yeah, yeah. I and, and you were talking about
41:39
smiling at people, I love to go, I probably told you this story,
41:43
or this thing that I do when we talked on my podcast, but I love
41:48
in mostly the grocery store or target where I'm standing in
41:51
line for a while I like to just smile at people, they light up
41:55
or I'll turn around and go, Hey, you have a nice day. Or Gee,
41:58
that looks like a good good thing to buy. That's I should
42:00
have thought of that. Just an upbeat conversation of you know,
42:04
30 seconds or less Yes. Or just a smile. And it changes the
42:09
demeanor it changes the energy you wine. And
42:17
Alan Carroll: everybody can do that. Yeah, I did a program with
42:21
Lou Tice investment and excellence. And he said you're
42:25
You're a wizard, and you have the power to put a smile on
42:28
people's faces. You have a power to bring light to people. What
42:31
do you mean by that? If you're in Target, talk to the lady or
42:36
the person that is checking out? Who's just checking out checking
42:39
out, just have a conversation with the person and smile and
42:43
and can you make the person smile? Can you make the person
42:47
change their state of consciousness? And you'll notice
42:49
that it's easy. Yeah, it's easy to change someone state, but you
42:55
have to want to do it. And, and so you now have created a flower
42:59
in your garden too. So it's like, wow, they're a flower. Now
43:02
you got a flower in your garden. And you you created it.
43:06
Laurin Wittig: And it feels so good to do that for somebody
43:08
else. Oh, yeah. And then that just opens you up even more, you
43:12
know, so it's a win win. I'm gonna consciously do this to
43:15
lift you up. And look, I feel so good for doing it. Oh, yeah,
43:20
it's just
43:21
Alan Carroll: old. Children. You know, kids are easy, because
43:25
they're not defensive. Adults are a little bit weird. But kids
43:30
that you can just, you can, you can smile and have fun with
43:35
kids, they're more open. And it's sort of sad sometimes to
43:39
see children that are so condensed that they are frozen,
43:44
they can't allow that spontaneity because of some
43:49
something that's, you know, happened in their life. So I'm,
43:54
I really like the, the idea of what what you're talking about
43:59
with, with letting go and forgiveness and mindfulness and
44:03
being aware and it fits very well into our journey, our
44:08
journey for mindfulness. I very much appreciate Lauren, all the
44:13
all the wisdom that you have given our audience today, as a
44:17
as a as a being as a being of the light. So it's fun to see
44:23
someone who's actually taken that abstract space and brought
44:27
it down into the physical and is able to use the use that energy.
44:33
They call it divine energy and bring it down into this this
44:38
plane of existence and use it for healing. If folks wanted to
44:43
follow up with you and connect with you and read your books and
44:47
go and lie on the table and have those spiritual experiences. How
44:52
does one connect with you?
44:54
Laurin Wittig: Well, the best the easiest places to go to my
44:56
website which is heart light joy.com I'm, and everything can
45:02
be found through there, the books are there, you can book an
45:05
appointment with me through that website, I do a free call if you
45:09
just want to call and see if you want to work with me, I love
45:12
talking to you. And there's no requirement that you work with
45:14
me. Alan knows I love to talk about this stuff. And then
45:20
there's also I have if you go to the website, and there'll be a
45:23
pop up that comes up where you get an opportunity to sign up
45:26
for my newsletter, if you do that, you get a free PDF
45:29
download for me, that is, go figure, Lauren's top three ways
45:35
to communicate with your guides. So it's, that's my free, my free
45:39
gift for you, I should just say gifts, because gifts are free,
45:42
right. And so I invite you to do that. And yeah, and I will be
45:48
bringing out a course, very soon, it's almost ready to
45:52
launch. That is a more extensive, deep dive into
45:57
working with your guides into learning how to communicate with
45:59
them. And so if you're interested in that, keep an eye
46:02
out for it. If you're on the newsletter, you'll hear about it
46:04
when it gets released. So
46:06
Alan Carroll: wonderful. So just go ahead and say your your
46:09
website again.
46:11
Laurin Wittig: It's heart light, Joy. So heart like in your chest
46:14
light, like you turn it on and enjoy that wonderful
46:18
Alan Carroll: dotcom Wonderful. Well, Lauren has been a
46:21
pleasure, once again, to be able to share your experiences with
46:26
our audience and have a conversation, to expand the
46:30
lights and bring it down for everyone. So that we can use the
46:35
mindfulness and the spirituality which is within everybody, to to
46:41
transform our experience of living to reduce the
46:44
psychological suffering, and allow us to have a more joyful
46:48
existence and happiness on this life.
46:51
Laurin Wittig: Yeah, we can change the world. We can
46:52
literally change the world for the better.
46:54
Alan Carroll: So you're you're a game changer for the world.
46:58
Well, thank you, Lauren. Thank you ally. Bye bye now.