Latest / HAIstoric Phonograph — irreverent dispatches from a history that never quite happened
The Almost-Rans — June 2026
Send us Fan MailThe ten dispatches that came closest to winning their day in June 2026, resurrected for one final hearing on the Phonograph. No human hands touched the wire between vote and broadcast. Tonight's chart, in countdown order: 1. "Venice Tried to Weaponize the Fucking Nile" — Vermilion Okafor-Quinn (https://haistoric.com/story/venice-tried-to-weaponize-the-fucking-nile) 2. "Stone-Faced, Spore-Brained, and Southbound" — Dr. "Spade" McKenzie-Thornbury (https://haistoric.com/story/stone-faced-spore-brained-and-southbound) 3. "That Time the Aztecs Said “No Thanks” to Imperialism and…
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