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How Negative Thoughts Sabotage Your Fat Loss (And How to Stop Them) · Beyond Fat Loss

• Katie & Sean Darlow: Welcome to the Beyond Fat Loss Podcast, where we don't just stop a fat loss, you'll learn about all the good stuff that follows. How to build muscle, how to enjoy more food, and how to stay lean without going to extremes. We are your host, Sean and Katie, and today we're going to share some powerful frameworks which help you to stop negative thoughts from spiralling out of control. In this episode, you'll learn how to manage feelings of guilt, how to manage the high expectations you set for yourself, and how to push for self-improvement without feeling like you're not good enough. This is gonna be a big one. As always, any support you give to the pod is much appreciated. Leave a like or comment, share the pod on your socials or with a friend. It would really help us to get the pod out there to more ears and to help them with experiencing life beyond fat loss. You can also find us both on Instagram. That's at KTSKDCoaching at Sean Skd Coaching. Come and drop us a follow, connect with us on there, see what we get up to. So Katie. Kick us off on this big topic today. We all get negative thoughts from time to time. Some of us get more than others. But in the context of getting in shape and staying that way, what separates those that are most successful from those that aren't when it comes to handling these negative thoughts? Not the first thought that does the damage. It's what happens after that thought. And I think those that are able to manage that in a better way have the more success. Have the more success. Like you mentioned, Sean, negative thoughts are going to pop up from time to time. And some do experience them more than others. So learning how to respond to those in a positive way. is a key part to long term success. I agree. You can't choose which thoughts pop into your mind. You can't control necessarily when they happen. But you can choose how you respond to them. What you do off the back of them, how they change your actions or your behaviors. So I think it's worth recognizing that. And this is a mindfulness technique that has been going around for decades, being able to separate your thoughts from reality. is a key part of learning how to have better emotional control and emotional responses to things. It's emotional management, isn't it? And it's it's a skill. It is a skill that that needs to be practised, especially if it's something that you're not used to or haven't had much exposure to in your life or have never been shown, right? Because not everyone is able to manage their emotions as well as others. But it can be really powerful when you do feel in control of that. Or at least majority of the time feeling controlled that because Our environment changes day to day, who we're around, what we're exposed to. Gosh, life stress has happened, don't they? And when you least expect sometimes. The one thing we can guarantee is that there will always be some kind of trigger throughout your day that can threaten to tamper with your emotions. Yeah, sometimes it's an accumulation effect as well, where kind of like one thing will tip you over the edge, but it's not that one thing that has got you to being on the edge to begin with. It's a number of negative Events or scenarios, conversations that have led to you being in that spot. Sometimes it's how long things have been challenging for. So it could be a number of days, it could be a number of weeks. Like for example, you might have had a really tough period of work where work demands are immensely high. You feel really underappreciated, you feel really undervalued. And you're just about kind of getting along with it and waiting for that moment for it to change while still not feeling your best. But it's not that that makes you necessarily go home and eat half the cheesecake that was left in the fridge. It's the fact that on your way home, you're stuck in traffic, you get a call from your partner to say that they haven't been able to prepare food for the evening because they've been rushing around after the kids and they're stuck in traffic too. And then you get in and there's no food in the house and there's no there's nothing cooked and you're absolutely starving. And you open up the fridge and the only thing that's left is a cheesecake from last night's birthday party. That's where all the stuff that's going on in work hasn't led to you eating the cheesecake, but it's put you in the emotional state where you're more likely to make a bad choice if other things then get on top of you. Let's give some specific examples here, Katie, because I think everyone listening to this will be able to relate to at least one of these. So, what specific examples can you think of in a fitness context that start with a negative thought, but then quickly spiral out of control and lead to some potentially harmful behaviors when it comes to the goals you want to achieve or the body composition you want to have? What can you think of that? What springs to mind in terms of those examples for you? I think from experience and working with many different individuals. Some of the key kind of triggers that lead or potentially can lead to a a a negative spiral. One is a num the number on the scales. That is a big one that rocks the boat and has the potential to rock a boat. First one that came to mind for me actually. I think that's the most prominent one. whatever phase you're in, right? It there's always a question mark over what is that telling me, am I doing things right, which can lead and open the door to catastrophic thoughts sometimes for some people. And then what happens? Be specific. Like negative thought. What happens with that negative thought? Let's get specific here. Let's show we really understand the people we're talking to. Say, for example, you're in the middle of a a fat loss phase. ⁓ we c we we go to win and there's a massive spike on the skills, you're two pounds heavier, yet you've done everything you can possibly think of to win to the minute detail. Or perhaps maybe there was a sweet treat that crept in that you weren't happy with, and all of a sudden you're thinking that you've ruined everything because of maybe that one incident of eating a sweet treat or that one incident of perhaps you're you're doing quite as active one day. And but that one instant incident on the scale of seeing a higher fluctuation of of two pounds and maybe it stays elevated for a day or two, that leads to you telling yourself that things aren't working, things aren't going in the right direction, you're a failure. What's the point? I might as well just go and have that meal out, that takeaway, that that bottle of wine later this evening because All my efforts count for nothing. Yeah. How many different actions or behaviours Can occur as a result of that negative thought to begin with. So you see the number on the scales, you think that something's not working, you think you're a bit of a failure, you think it's all pointless. All of these negative thoughts then are followed up and probably compounded and made worse by the choice not to track for the weekend because what's the point? By the choice to skip the next few gym sessions because I've been going religiously and my weight's not down, so what's the point? By making poorer choices with your food, by having more snacks, having more hyper palatable food at times of the day where you wouldn't normally have it. Because what's the point? There are so many different things that can happen as a result of that thought if you let that thought take over, take, take ownership of you. And that's just one scenario. That's just the weighing scales. Like the weigh in scales are just one really small part of the entire fitness journey. One that comes to mind for me was a training one. And the scenario which came to mind was if you have one bad experience with an exercise in the gym, so it could be that you struggle to set it up on one particular day. So you you make a bit of a mistake with the seat height, or you know, you haven't got it, you haven't got the the cable set to the right height, or something like that. So you go to do an exercise. You don't set it up correctly, you faff around a little bit, you start to get really embarrassed, you start to get really frustrated with yourself, you think everyone's looking at you, you think everyone's gonna start to think you're an idiot and you don't know what you're doing. So then that exercise is is is now written off your program because you can't bear to to to suffer the embarrassment of it again. So then you change to another exercise and you deem that exercise to be rubbish and invaluable. But you can adopt that same mentality for four, five, six, ten exercises that you do on your training program. Because you've got to learn how to do it at some point. You've got to figure out what to do with these exercises at some point. So you can get your ass in your hand and get frustrated to the fact that you just haven't been shown how to set this up, or it just takes a bit of trial and error sometimes to figure out the best position for you. Or you can just keep writing everything off, but then you're never gaining confidence in how to use certain equipment in the gym. So it's just kind of that. That machine in the corner that you don't ever use, that you see other people using and would like to use, but you won't use it. That that incident alone, even though it's only one machine in one incident that made you feel like that, I would ⁓ assume that that feeling then, that because you hadn't overcome that, you haven't dealt and sat with that embarrassment, it would put you off in the future trying other things, potentially even put you off going to try the gym when you were travelling away or Whatever it may be, going with a friend to a new gym just for a different different experience. What happens when what happens when a machine's in use that you normally use and you're comfortable with and you have no other choice but to use a different machine, otherwise you're just gonna have to stand around waiting for the machine you want to use to come free? Like sometimes you don't have the time to do that. So what are you gonna do? You're just gonna not do that exercise? Okay, so now you're not doing that exercise on that day, so now a muscle isn't getting stimulation, so now you might not get the p physical progress you want because you're not using that muscle as much as what you should be doing in your program. Because your ideal equipment isn't free. So yeah, I'm I I'm absolutely with you, Katie. Like I I don't think that that just happens once to people. I think that that that becomes a pattern of behavior. And that all comes from that one thought of, ⁓ but what if I look stupid? It all it all stems from usually one negative thought. And then it just spirals to many others, right? Like with the scales, for example, it's an instant thought of failure. Then that spirals to other thoughts. The gym equipment, embarrassment. And any process or journey you go through in your life, you're never going to fully embar avoid embarrassment. You're never going fully avoid failure. And if anything, experiencing those things are going to help you develop and grow in that journey rather than look at those. Feelings as a negative. And I'm sure we're going to cover this in a bit more depth as we go through the the podcast now. But is trying to accept those feelings as part of the journey and see them in more of a positive light. Because you if you were failing at something, it means that you were learning and you can progress. If you were feeling embarrassed about something, that how you're performing or a piece of equipment, and believe me, I've been there myself. I've flapped around trying to find handles and adjust seats and I was already done it last week when I tried using the bloody amb crunch the first time. I couldn't get a seat to move. I must have looked like a right tit, but we whenever we move on. I stood up yesterday after doing my set of pendulum squats. After doing a fantastic set of pendulum squats, stood up and hit my head on the safety bar. Like these things happen. Like the embarrassing things happen. You shouldn't laugh because it's not helpful if we but you know. I just you know, I mean I'm I'm On my third week now of my aggressive diet, my energy levels are really low. I've just done a really hard set. I didn't I pendulum squat wasn't on my program anyway. I had to use it because one of the leg presses was burst, the other one was in use. I was like, ⁓ for God's sake, okay, fine, go do pendum squats instead. So did the pendulum squats, did a really hard set, found it ridiculously challenging after already doing, you know, a quad exercise on that day. Pushed myself through my set, did an extra rep, probably shouldn't have gone for that extra rep. Finished it, stood up, hit my head on the safety bar. This is the last thing. This is just the epitome of what I've had to do for this exercise today. It happens. It d it does happen. And ⁓ and my mate was on the machine next to me, just to let you know. Yeah, the one that I nearly knocked out with the glute ⁓ kickback. Yeah. Yeah. Five minutes before. Yeah, exactly. So yeah, there's many embarrassing moments, even for us who've been going to the gym for ten to four twelve, fourteen years and even the whole time anymore. ⁓ but yeah, it's those embarrassing moments happen, right? And they feel They feel ten times worse when you first starting out. ⁓ you do feel like all eyes are on you. I get that, because I've been there, I know what that feeling's like. But that feeling doesn't last forever if you tackle it on first head. If you if you tackle it head on, if you let it fester, then that's where it can negatively impact you mentally, but also hold you back from achieving great things because no one else cares that you Couldn't move the machine or hit your head on the pendulum squat. You know, you might give someone a bit of entertainment, but Yeah, exactly. Like just laugh it off. Laughter is medicine. Just I'm quite a serious person, but in in in instances like that, you've just got to laugh it off. You can't take it too seriously, because then you will get annoyed at yourself and you will get more embarrassed, and it's your embarrassment. It's it's how you're handling that emotion that makes it worse. I always think in those moments, if I've done that, I'm like, what would I think of someone in that situation? I wouldn't think they're a fool or I wouldn't think they're a tit. I in your situation where you hit your head in the Penduluscot, I'd probably have a have a laugh and have a chuckle because it's you, right? And I would. But if someone was, you know, like in my position where they couldn't figure out to move the bloody seat on an ab crunch, I actually wouldn't laughing at them. I'd be going, ⁓ let me help you, I know how to do that. So like I try and think of how would I respond and most people aren't going to be malicious or nasty or think a t anything of you. It's all in your head and what you do with that information in your head is really important. Yeah, you're not the only person in the world that is gonna feel embarrassed. In fact, everyone at some point is gonna feel embarrassed for some reason. And in most cases, you make the embarrassment out to me more than what it is. Like most people don't think don't think anything of it afterwards. They don't remember it. Most people forget things. You're the one that's replaying that event over and over and over again in your head. Not them. They've moved on. They've got other things to worry about. They're probably worried about the next time that they're gonna embarrass themselves more than how you're gonna how you've just done whatever you've done. So You just you just move on. And we're all learning at the end of the day, like things like There's stuff that I've done that is just me being clumsy and me being unaware. And it is what it is. Like there's nobody else I can blame for that, as much as you may try. ⁓ who left that safety bar there? No, like it's me being clumsy, right? And not paying attention to my surroundings. But there's times where, like, you know, Katie adjusting the seat or adjusting the bench. She's just having an off day. She's just having a moment where she she just can't seem to get it right. The more you try and move something, the like the more stuck it gets. Yeah. For God's sake, like why can't just move the seat? And then ⁓ one of the boys in the gym came along and he literally just flicked it up like the smallest touch and it just moved. I was like, what the hell? And I went back to try again. Still couldn't do it. I just could not move this seat. So yeah, so that's that's my story anyway. That's that's where you've been spending all your time in your sessions. It's last week, isn't it? Figured out how to rules. Yeah, 'cause I know what you like. I what you like. You that'll be bugging you like crazy. But I gotta fix that seat every time you go past that machine. I bet you're trying the seat. ⁓ it's annoying. But anyway. The point is that you can't get too caught up in this stuff 'cause it will just eat away at you and it'll make you make worse decisions moving forwards. Like that's that's gonna hurt your confidence more than just laughing it off and saying, ⁓ well, and I'll try it again next time or whatever. Yeah. I think another big one that can derail ⁓ potentially derail a lot of people is if you're on a particular journey like ⁓ a fat loss it could even be muster building journey right and the decisions you want to make nutritionally when you're out and about in different environments, maybe you're at a party, maybe you're at a barbecue, whatever it is, and you end up caving into what's there, right? Because there's a there's a good bit of cake or there's a burger that you want. And you originally plan to not have this thing because it was not The wisest choice for you with your goals and at that moment in time, but you end up having it. And what happens after having that one thing that you had part of that particular environment? There's two usually two scenarios. You either just park it, move on, it is what it is, or individuals think that they potentially ruined everything because they've overconsumed some calories on one day and then. convince themselves that they failed it the whole week and it's really went. Yeah, mentally you escalate it and you over exaggerate the impact of that one incident. And as a result of that then your next few decisions with nutrition are worse because you've already given yourself that label and that title that you failed or you're an ill-disciplined person or you're not committed enough. So then you play into that. Like I don't think people realize how strong and how powerful psychology is. And whatever you tell yourself you are, you you are in your own mind. And you will make decisions based on what language you're using to describe yourself. And you will respond to your feelings in accordance with the titles and the labels that you give yourself. Almost easier to play into a certain identity which you give yourself. And that's really disempowering because sometimes you're not you're not making the decisions which you really want to make, or the decisions which consciously, if you were to really stop and think about it, you wouldn't make. But you just play into this persona that you've built for yourself. by giving yourself some sort of title or a label, which That's just you having having a thought. So That label and title is a thought which you've created following a feeling which you've had. So Go back to like was it a cake analogy? It's a cake or a burger, it's a bit of whatever whatever, whatever your crutch is. So going back to that cake analogy, right? Let's say you eat a bit too much cake. You then feel a bit guilty because it's not part of your goals right now or doesn't align with your goals right now to have to have cake. So you're over on calories for that day. If you zoom out, it's probably not gonna have a big impact. If you'd be in a calorie deficit for the whole week, it won't make that much of a difference. You've got a couple of calories, a couple of hundred calories over. You don't really need to make an adjustment. If you want to, you can do. You can drop the calories for the next couple of days, you can go for steps. That's the logical thought process. But the person that allows the negative thought to spiral, once they eat that cake, they feel guilty. They feel like a they feel like they've made a mistake. They feel regretful. Because they're feeling guilt and feeling regretful and feeling like they've made a mistake and they've done wrong, the thoughts that follows that feeling then is because they're trying to look for reasons for why they've done it. The thought that follows is I'm a failure. I always do this. I can't stick to anything. Why am I so ill disciplined? Why can't I say no to anything? I just don't have any willpower. Yeah. I I don't have the willpower that other people have. So then what happens the next time a decision comes around? All these things they're saying about themselves. Become reality. And it's not even just the next time that incident comes around. Quite often, when an individual has allowed those thoughts to Take hold, that next decision is usually a poorer one. And perhaps poorer for the next couple of days until it's like, okay, I can't keep doing this now. But instead of that one incident just being a simply what it is, a couple of hundred calories over and you park and you move on, it's then turned into three, four, five days of overeating. ⁓ your habits taking a massive hit. And that guilt, that regret, that feeling of failure. has just multiplied. Yeah, it's like a fast growing bacteria of the mine. Once it starts, the rate at which that takes over. He's incredible. It is incredible. It is. And it's it's it's sometimes hard when you are in that moment to pull yourself out of that. Especially if that is ⁓ I guess a learned behavior and how you respond to situations. It can be really hard to separate the emotional response to the logical response. But the more you can do that and just rely on the logical, it's easier to just manage. the emotions. ⁓ because they emotions will come and go. They always do. They always do. The phrase that I used here when we were discussing what to talk about in this podcast was feeding the beast. And feeding the beast is when you confirm what we don't want to be true to ourselves by acting or behaving in the way that we don't want to act and behave. You're you're feeding the beast, you're feeding the narrative of the person that you don't want to be, you're feeding the identity that you don't want to have. What's the alternative to that? The alternative is changing your response to the feelings and the thoughts that you have because you can choose those responses and you can opt to do things differently. It's learning to reframe things over time. redirect energy that's given to these thoughts and these feelings and redirect it into something that's more positive. And doing that repeatedly over time. I really like that, the way you put that actually, Sean, feeding the beast. Because the more you keep thinking those thoughts, the angrier this beast gets. The angrier it gets, the more kind of control it has over you, the more the more volatile. Yeah, that's probably the right word, is volatile that beast can get. Whereas If it only gets fed that narrative once and then you learn how to reframe that narrative in your brain. That beast is not going to get volatile. No, it can stay calmer, it's more manageable. Yeah. It's not to say that the because ⁓ it's unrealistic to think you'll never feed the beast again. That's really unrealistic. we're humans, we're complex with really complex emotions actually. So feeding the beast will happen from time to time, but you just don't want to keep feeding the beast. Over and over and over again. The main thing is that it's important to recognise it takes a lot of effort and it takes practice to be able to reframe things positively. This isn't just gonna ha happen on its own. It's n it's n it's not just gonna magically start happening. You have to put the time and effort into doing this. And that's your choice of response. Like you have to be prepared to put time and effort into doing this. Like Katie said, it's not gonna be a permanent thing. It's not that you do it once and you'll do it every single time. You have to be on it, you have to be consistent with it. You have to recognize the opportunities because that's what they are. Like your feelings and emotions present you with opportunities to behave differently. If you keep choosing the same negative response to your feelings and your thoughts. All you're doing is confirming the things that you don't want to confirm to yourself. So Make it a conscious effort to choose another option and to take the opportunity to develop, to build your confidence in handling those scenarios differently. Welcome those opportunities because If you don't get the chance to put someone into practice, you can't practice that. No, you can't. And y it could be years and years you banked of responding negatively to situations, right? So you can't expect to change that overnight. You can't expect to change that in a couple of incidents. It's gonna take repeated exposure to that, repeated reframing things. And you may have to find different ways to reframe things. Because we'll all respond slightly different to Reframe in certain situations. So I think it's about again, accepting it's not gonna be perfect, you're not gonna be perfect. And it and it will take practice. And it will take practice to to naturally respond in a more positive way to a negative emotion. For a lot of people. Some people that's that's quite normal for them to do, but not everyone. Not everyone. I just thought of a scenario and a way that I would describe this when we think about Trying to make up for all those negative experiences. If you imagine a sports team that let's say they play 20 matches a season and they lose 16 or 17 of those matches, obviously there's a big focus and an emphasis on the amount of times they've lost, on the amount of goals they've conceded in those matches. They've conceded far more than they've scored, and that's why they've lost so many matches. So there's a big element of right, we have to stop these losses. But a team that's lost that many times is going to be completely distraught. They're going to be very low in confidence. They're going to struggle to look for positives to build things from. But a negative team isn't going to get very far. So you look at the few results where you've won and you use those as your reflection points and say, okay, so what went well in these matches? What did we do well? How can we work on those things that went well? How can we be more consistent? Now, when they first start, the odds are stacked in favor of them being being a poor team. They've got more losses than wins. But if they only focus on the losses, they're never going to get better. So they have to focus on some of the positives. And then the next season, instead of losing 16 out of 20 games, they might only lose 12 out of 20 games. And they've got more positive experiences in the bank to be able to say, right, what what have we done differently here? In some of those losses, there may be a fantastic moment, a fantastic goal, a fantastic team goal, or a goal denied in brilliant defensive fashion that they can also analyse and say, Okay, so we didn't get the result we wanted, but we performed a hell of a lot better on that game on that in that game. We performed a hell of a lot better on that occasion. another positive experience in the bank. The point that I'm making here is it takes a long time to cancel out a lot of losses and a lot of defeats, but you have to focus on the positives because otherwise you're only going to focus on negatives and you're just going to reinforce the negative patterns that you're already doing. Yeah, I couldn't agree more. It hasn't been working for you, right? It's not working for you. So something's gotta change. And focus in step by step on some positive actions that you are doing is gonna help you to create those building blocks to hopefully change your mindset for the better for the long haul. There are some cases where People are completely oblivious to what's not going well or to the fact that something clearly isn't working. That's a different discussion for a different time. But most of us, and I would say majority of the time, are able to know when something isn't working. It often gets over exaggerated. To the point where people say, I'm not making any progress, I'm not losing any weight, when actually you are. It's just not quite as quick as what you'd like. So you're over exaggerating it. But I think it's fair to say that Most of the time we know when things are not going as well as what they could be or as well as what we would like. We know when our decisions and our behaviors don't align with the results or the outcomes that we want. And when that happens, we're often met with a feeling of guilt. So In the context of reframing everything and trying to turn things into a positive, how do we do that with an emotion that can be as strong as guilt? You spoke recently in the community group about reframing guilt. And I really liked how you talked about that and I think it could benefit a lot of our podcast listeners. And even our community members who listen to it again, right, to embed that. So can you tell listeners a little bit more about that? I actually think that if you're able to reframe guilt You put yourself in a much better place to be able to handle Mistakes, setbacks, or criticism in life. And particularly in fitness, because I think guilt is often one of the most misunderstood emotions. I think guilt is often one of the most misunderstood emotions or feelings that you can have. Is it always bad, Sean? Is it always a bad signal? On the surface, I think everyone would say, Yeah, guilt is bad. It's a negative emotion. It's got negative connotations. But it's what you do with the guilt. It's what lesson you can learn from the guilt. So one of the scenarios that I mentioned was. If I if I was walking down the street and I passed a stranger and I just randomly punched them in the face and broke their nose. I might get arrested for assault. Go through all that ideal. That that person might end up in hospital. And it was just that random moment of uncharacteristic anger and violence. As a rational person, as a normal person, I would probably feel really, really guilty about that afterwards. I'd feel a lot of remorse about that afterwards. That guilt would tell me that my actions and behaviours do not align with the person that I want to be. I've lacked empathy for somebody else. I've lacked consideration for another person. And it's frankly unacceptable to behave in that way. Similarly to if I just had a really crap day for whatever reason and I come home and Katie asked me to do something, like, Would you mind the owner dishwasher? And I snapped at her and I shouted at her and I got really annoyed. And she got really taken back by the fact that I'd responded so irrationally. I would feel guilty about that afterwards. I would I would feel frustrated with myself for getting so angry and for not handling my emotions better. So in those scenarios, guilt is like the internal alarm system to tell you that your behaviours are not acceptable. They're taking you away from the person you want to become. They're teaching you how to be more compassionate, how to be more empathetic. And the scenarios I presented involve somebody externally. They involve somebody else. But why can't we show the same compassion and empathy to ourselves? Why can't we reframe guilt to have the same impact on our own behaviors, on our own actions, and how that impacts on us? think that's an important reframe, what you're seeing there in terms of We can often, you know, forgive someone else or support them, give them advice to change direction quite easily if needed. But when it comes to our own actions and what we think in our own mind, we can be our almost critic. ⁓ we can rather than relieve in that feeling of guilt, we often feed the beast a bit more, right? We feed that guilt a little bit more. Guilt often gets taken out of context. As I mentioned previously, if you're suffering a lot of defeats and you keep beating yourself up over the negatives and you don't try and look for positives to try and keep Choose And you don't focus on some of the positives to try and motivate yourself to try and perform from a more positive environment, then you're only ever gonna experience more struggle, more frustration. It's really hard to get better from that. So you can't allow guilt to fester and to only focus on it. But I don't think it's fair to say that it's inherently bad. Because sometimes I think guilt acts like a warning system for the behaviors and the habits which we may need to change. Yeah, I like I like that analogy. It's like an alarm bell. Yeah, it needs to be put into context. If you have committed to an eight-week fat loss phase, because Every single time you've ever attended a diet in your life, you failed to get the outcome you want. Doesn't matter what diet you tried, doesn't matter what coaching you've had, you failed to get to the end of it. You tell yourself that you've got no willpower when it comes to weekends, when it comes to social events. And this time you've committed to a short time frame of eight weeks and you're going to go absolutely all in. And then week three, you go off the rails on the weekend and guilt starts. Creeping in, you start feeling like you're that person which you're trying to move away from. And you said this time it's going to be different. But it's not. And once again, you found yourself snacking uncontrollably on the weekend. You've had far too many drinks on a Saturday night with with your friends. You've had a takeaway on the Sunday because you're feeling hungover. And that guilt creeps in. It doesn't matter how many times you tell yourself. But I'll just move on just move on. Just forget about it. You know, there's no point beating yourself up. There's no point feeling guilty about it. Just move on. That's never solved your problem and it's not solving your problem now. It's more harmful in this scenario to keep telling yourself everything's okay when your actions and your behaviors are making you feel like a failure, are feeding the beast, making you feel like you've got no willpower. Making you feel like you're ill disciplined, making you feel like you can't stick to anything. Your actions and your behaviours are confirming those things that you that you are afraid of being true. And guilt is the only thing that's acting against that in this moment to tell you that you shouldn't do it. There is something that's not aligning with you about those actions and behaviors. And that's why guilt is triggering. Because what you said you're going to do, you're not currently doing. You're doing, you're behaving in the opposite way. You can see it as a signal to go take a step back and go, hang on a minute, should I actually be doing this? And do I even want to do this? Because I am feeling a little bit guilty for perhaps doing this action right now. Let me just kind of realign to why I'm even doing this in the first place. And if you can overcome that in that moment, not give in to whatever scenario it is, you've all you've done something that you haven't done in the past. But if you give if you ignore that signal of guilt and just give in, you're just feeding that narrative of you have no willpower, you have no discipline, you're not committed enough. You just keep feeding that beast. You have to overcome that sometimes and listen to the signals of guilt because it's not aligning with you deep down. The guilt which I think needs to be removed is the shaming from other segments of society or from people online or from external sources outside of your very close circle of trust or even sometimes it's people in your circle of trust. The guilt and shame that's inflicted on you by others, I think that needs to be removed. And I think the guilt and shame that comes from having ridiculously high standards for yourself needs to be removed as well. So the guilt shaming over women's weight for for one, that's something which just shouldn't exist. Right? It it just shouldn't be a thing. We shouldn't shame people if they're happy and comfortable in their bodies if they've not got six-pack physiques. Just because just because like you've got an ideal aesthetic in mind of what you'd like to look like. Does not instantly qualify everyone else to be fat just because they're not as lean as the ideal image of what you want your body to look like. You shouldn't be made to feel guilty if you're really happy about how you look and somebody else is trying to change that. And they're a little bit leaner than what you are, for example. Like these types of I'm trying to think of any any other examples here, Katie, of where like, you know, there has been shame. BMI is another one, right? BMI is another one. Do I think BMI is completely useless? On a population level, no. On an individual level, it's very, very flawed. Very flawed. Depends on the context, isn't it, for sure. I think I agree with you on a population level and You know, there's many indications on a on a health perspective where you can still use that as a an indicator of whether perspective. ⁓ sorry health perspective. ⁓ I don't know what I said now. On a health perspective, there are there are many there are many many examples where you can use that as an indicator. Yeah. Yeah. On a health perspective, there are Many times you can use that as an indicator. So I don't think it should be totally ruled out. I just think, like you mentioned, on an individual level, it's understanding the whole picture, not just focusing solely on on BMI. but again, agree with you in in the guilt perspective and the shame that can come with the number of BMI. Body image is another one. ⁓ I know you've loosely covered that with weight and six-pack lean, but body image is very, very wide, right? It is very wide. And I think the shame that comes with looking a certain way, or potentially even if someone's carrying some body fat, maybe a little bit overweight, that doesn't necessarily mean that individual isn't a healthy person, isn't a healthy individual. ⁓ but Some inhe people who are in that category can still feel shame and pressure to want to have to change their body fat levels because of society. And that's unfair too. It's okay to have a sequel to want push them further, but it's okay to be healthy as well. Another two I can think of is like close sizes, like feeling guilty or ashamed because you have to size up in a in clothes as your body changes over time or. because you can no longer fit in certain outfits that you bought many years ago. That that guilt and shame needs to be removed because it's a false standard that has been created by society and it's not something which necessarily you could look you could look leaner, you could be more muscular. Katie, you can't fit in half of the clothes you bought a few years ago and you're in the best shape now that you've ever been. I no, I I fully agree, and I think There's some outfits I have where I could be a a fourteen in the top and a eight in the bottom or a different brand. A ten, twelve, I vary all the way from a an eight to a size fourteen, ⁓ depending on the the make and model or fit or whatever it may be ⁓ of the clothing. ⁓ and whilst I understand for a lot of women that's you know, it's a goal to get to a certain size, but also not to get too caught up in it and and think negatively yourself. If you you're bigger than the the size is bigger than you actually really are. Don't let that s size, I guess, on a labeled kind of Allow you feel guilty because it shouldn't. It's not a true reflection of where where you're at. I think another one that can bring a l ⁓ guilt and shame, particularly for I I think mothers, is when they think back to their pre child weight or and they try and And feel guilty for not being or ever getting to their pre-child weight. But like you said, Sean, if a if a woman has t taken that weight training after after they've given birth, you know, many years later, their body composition is gonna be completely different to their pre-child weight anyway. And it's not a real good indication or comparison. It's not a good comparison anyway, right? Because women's bodies change. But it's the shame and guilt that can come with that can really impact people negatively. And just hold them back from actually living life in a in a good way. Yeah, absolutely. I I couldn't agree more. The one that I was gonna mention was food choices, I think. This is another one, yeah, for sure. This actually really impacts me at times and I've noticed it more. the further I've gone into my journey actually, because I think I'm I was probably unaware to it for a for a long period of time. But I've worked in the fitness industry for I'd say over ten years now. And I've always felt like I had to live up to the persona of being a coach, being a healthy eating person, being a being a model to follow in terms of having a good diet and having good nutrition. So There would be guilt that comes from like going to a supermarket, putting certain unhealthy items in my trolley, being seen to purchase those. Like the amount of times I bumped into somebody when like I used to go to Asda occasionally on the weekend to get a pizza from the from the Create Your Own Pizza Counter counter. ⁓ from the create your own pizza counter. And I bump into one of the one of the members from the gym while I was buying that pizza. And I would just feel guilt. and shamed because of the pizza in my trolley or the pizza in my basket and they'd be looking down at it and going, ⁓ it's pizza night tonight, is it? And I would feel mortified by buying that. ⁓ and it's the same thing with like being out in public, like if I burn bit to somebody and and I'm having a beer or I burn into somebody and I'm having a dessert or whatever. And there's a guilt and a shame that comes with that. And that's me as somebody that that is in what you would probably look at to be the fitter part of the population. ⁓ and somebody that that that does have you know lower body fat levels, I guess, than than the average. On the flip side of that, somebody that's potentially looking to lose weight or carrying too much weight or on a diet may occasionally choose to have some unhealthy food in their diet. And they might be judged for choosing that unhealthy food as well. And they might feel really guilty or be made to feel guilty by others around them where people say, Should you really be eating that? Like, should you really be having that if it's if you're trying to lose weight? without fully knowing and understanding nutrition and how it works, right? But the snowball effect of guilt that can have on that individual is can be huge. I don't think that that is just something which I think we experienced different forms of of guilt around food. But from my experience, I don't think it's just you know people that are trying to lose weight that will experience guilt around food as well. I think we've we've just it it can be the f the fitter people so to speak. Like, you know, again, I don't want to give myself this a stupid label. Maybe more health conscious. ⁓ maybe that's the term to use. Well look, I'm a fitness professional. I'm a fitness professional. So i I feel the pressure sometimes to feel like I need to uphold my values and and and my and practice what I preach. Which I do ninety nine percent of the time. It's just most of that is unseen, it's behind closed doors. And on the one few occasions where I'm actually doing something unusual, like going out, having a takeaway, It just so happens that that's what people see because they don't see all the behind the scenes stuff. That's interesting. Cause I didn't know I've I didn't know you felt that way about those incidents. ⁓ it's really interesting actually because I don't feel guilty about stuff like that when I have, you know, the pizza or the drink or the dessert or whatever. Because to me that is part of being able to have that bit of flexibility whilst having a lifestyle around that that supports my health. So I've never feel guilt felt felt guilty about that personally. But it's interesting how to hear in how it impacts other people differently. Where I felt guilty or Hmm? Okay, carry on. No? No, it's it's it's fine what you said. It's just yeah. Why is it not okay? Am I not allowed to have a chat about this? ⁓ no, you're Sorry babe, what have I done wrong? What have I done wrong? What have I done wrong, Bip? You've misinterpreted what I said. Okay. But it's okay. How well Yeah, I mean I I I don't feel like that as much anymore. I think it comes from a place of knowing that people just don't understand the way that nutrition works as well as we do. They don't understand that whilst different foods will have a different place in your diet and be eaten for slightly different purposes. Calories are calories and your body fat levels will be determined predominantly by your calorie intake. And there is room for having some things that are slightly less healthy, slightly higher in calories that lack nutrients from time to time. If you're balancing those out with loads of really healthy stuff that's nourishing your body well and and and helping you to have a more moderate calorie intake, or at least a calorie intake that matches closer to your calorie expenditure each day. But we understand that. So we understand how we can. have some unhealthy things from time to time and and not have a huge setback. And our clients will understand that as well. And that's the experience that they have. But Yeah, for sure. And you mentioned there about the the calorie expenditure side of things. Like where I personally have felt a bit guilty before is I eat quite a lot for ⁓ a woman, especially in the populations where a lot of people you're around aren't perhaps into the gym quite as much or don't train as as often as I do or do as much activity day to day. And my portion sizes are quite large in what I eat are It's quite a lot when I, you know, eat out and about or over over over your mum's and things like that. So it's I you know, in the past I've had com comments of, are you really eating all of that? It's a lot of food, isn't it? And that, you know, years ago Buddha bothered me, even though I still understood the nutrition side of things. Now it doesn't anymore because i I need that food, right? I need that food. It's it's the right amount of food for me. But even comments like that can lead to people feeling guilty because not the person saying those comments don't always understand the impact it could have. No, you can't you can't stop everyone in the moment and explain how many calories you're burning every day and how you need to eat an equivalent amount of calories at least to be able to maintain your body weight and fuel your performance and fuel your muscle gains and explain your goals and all that. You don't have the time or the energy or really the desire to explain yourself in those scenarios. So there's not always that opportunity to educate everyone, but it it just kind of reiterates to me. The lack of understanding that so many people have about nutrition and I just think so many people are just so quick to judge and comment on what other people are doing or how they look or how they feel and they just lack so much context to their judgments and to their assumptions. It should go without saying, but it doesn't. Just keep your mouth shut when it comes to speaking about other people or making assumptions or passing judgments about what other people are doing, what they're eating, what they're wearing, whatever. Just just focus on on you. It's much easier. Life is much easier that way. So yeah, don't worry about the guilt aspect of what other people's comments and judgments do for you because That's based on their opinion of the identity you should have. You need to start asking yourself and connecting with your own identity and saying, What identity do I want to have? What image of myself do I want to portray? I don't mean like just aesthetic image. I mean like the person that you are, the behaviors that you align with, the values that you align with. Like who do I want to be? And if your guilt alarm bell is ringing because your behaviors and and actions are not aligning with that person you want to be, that's where you should start to pay attention to some of that guilt, in my opinion. Yeah, I agree fully. I agree fully. I think the takeaway is that internal guilt, using that as an alarm bell in the right moments is is key and can be crucial for you d being able to reframe things in your mind to turn that into a positive. And I just have to say off the back of that, That guilt alarm bell starts going, you pay attention to it, you make a plan of action for what you can do differently next time, and then you forgive yourself and you let it go. You can't sit in that guilt for ages and ages and ages. That's not gonna work. You're not gonna you're not gonna improve from that place. So I'm not saying I I don't think it has to be this or that. I think we need to adopt the Goldilocks approach. We need to get the balance just right. We need to be somewhere in the middle. You're not gonna come down ridiculously hard on yourself and punish yourself all the account of the guilt, but you're also not gonna ignore it completely and pretend that everything's okay because it's not. Because if you if you're having that response, then there there might be a reason for it and you might need to listen to it and pay attention. Go somewhere in the middle, and the more you spend time trying to explore that grey area, that middle ground, the more comfortable you'll get with how you handle things in that scenario. I really like how you spoke about guilt there and using it as an alarm bell. I think it's a really, really simple, practical way that a lot of us can benefit from moving forward. Let's try about setting expectations next. Because these set because expectations have Because the expectations we set ourselves have potential to really rock the boat sometimes, don't they? Yeah, or capsize it altogether. Yeah, yes. In an instant. Absolutely. Absolutely. And who sets the bar for success and standards? And where do the expectations come from? It's just such an important reflective question, isn't it? Like where have these standards come from? I can't begin to tell you how many times I have asked a client that's struggling with these standards and these expectations. I have to be this weight, I have to get to this close eyes, I have to be this lean by this date. And I say, who says that? And why? And then they go, Well well well I do, but but so why then? Why then? Where has this come from? Where has this expectation come from? Where has this standard come from? A lot of time when you start to question it, there's not really a real strong reason why. They're chasing this goal and setting this bar. And let's be honest, sometimes it's quite a high bar to set themselves to get to this goal. But there's no why behind it. So how are you gonna rise to that challenge and push yourself to go even further than where you've been before to achieve this this standard, to achieve this result, if there's not really a compelling reason why you're doing it? Yeah, not only is it unrealistic, it's also there's no back into it. There's no no drive oomph behind it to kind of latch on to. It's a bit like a dog chasing their tail, isn't it? It's like well so what? That's a good way of putting it. It's a lot of effort going in, but you don't even know why you're doing it in the first place. And they definitely don't, do they? Go confused and lost they look when they stop chasing their tail. ⁓ brilliant, that's a good analogy. But no, it it Please carry on. I do not know how to keep reacting like that. I can relate to this though, honestly, and and not so much from a fitness perspective right now. I feel like I found the the kind of ⁓ level that I want to keep my standards and habits at and I just choose to practice those every day and I I'm quite comfortable with those. But in a work context, in a business context, sometimes I can set myself some unrealistic ⁓ targets or workload that I'm gonna get through in a day, for example. And then if I don't get through all of that, I tell myself that it hasn't been a good day, or I tell myself that I've, you know, breath not failed as such, but it's not been the most productive day, even though I could have done five out of ten of those tasks or five out of eight of those tasks, because I haven't done all of them. Even though you're probably really unrealistic to be able to do all of those in one day. It then makes me feel like I haven't done enough. And I know many people will feel like that in their health and fitness because the expectations and perhaps goals they set themselves initially are just way too high. Way too high in and unachievable, which makes them feel then like they're not doing enough, they're failing, they're going backwards, they can't handle it all. I think this is a really tricky one because on the flip side of that, you have to question some of the most successful people. And ask, were their expectations too high? When an Olympic gold medalist sets their standards and expectations for themselves to be able to train for potentially a decade and then prepare for an Olympic competition to go and win a gold medal, to be the best athlete on the planet in that particular discipline at that moment in time and make history. I can only imagine what the pressure must be like. I can only imagine the amount of discipline and commitment that And I mean this in the in the most understanding way possible, but the level of selfishness that needs to happen in order for them to achieve a goal like that. Would they reach that same level if they didn't set themselves an extremely high bar for success, if they didn't set themselves a really high standard for themselves? They probably wouldn't. I don't think so. That's you know, it's an extraordinary result, isn't it? ⁓ the bar for standards and expectations needs to be well above average, well above what's you know, well yeah. Well above average to achieve those results. And I that's the example of an Olympian, but you can say the same for a business owner. You could say the same for a scientist that wants to, you know, develop a a cure for a particular illness or a particular disease or So, how do we get that balance right between setting high standards and shooting for success? Because it drives you, it motivates you, it gives you something to be really excited by and guide gives you guidelines to follow for the way in which you go about conducting yourself in life. But then at the same time, not setting ourselves a bar which is too high that becomes this crippling anxiety of having to constantly keep being better. And never feeling like you've really achieved what you've set out to achieve until you've achieved it. It it is a tough balance to get right. I think it's really tough actually. And some individuals have much higher expectations of themselves than others, and it can be really crippling. I think you've got to ask yourself, are you prepared? Are you willing? And you're able to do what is required of you to meet those expectations. I think you've got to ask yourself honestly that, right? Because you know, when the bar is at exceptional level, like an Olympian, they've accepted that that's going to be a hard journey and they're going to give everything they can to achieve that. So wherever you set your standards and your your your bar, and I would encourage you to push them a little bit more outside of your comfort zone. I wouldn't encourage you to settle for less. Or sell for less than you actually are capable of achieving, but it's still asking yourself honestly, this is what it's going to take. And am I willing to give this my best shot? Not be perfect, give this my best shot. Yeah. And again, those three words, prepares, willing, able, they're all different things. Like preparing, have you given yourself enough time frame to be able to do this in? Have you got the right resources around you? Have you got the coaches, the mentors, the support systems to enable you to get there? Like the preparation to do it is one thing. Then you've got the willingness to actually go through and action it and execute it. Like You know what it's going to require, you know what it's going to take from you. Are you willing to then put yourself in those uncomfortable positions and challenge yourself to do it? And then able to do it. If you're not able to do it, you might be prepared. You might not be willing, but sorry, you might be prepared. You might have done the preparations. You might be willing, but you might not be able to reach that height. There are many, many, many people that try to make it to the Olympics, to make it as a professional footballer, to make it as a bodybuilder, whatever it is, that fall short of that. So it's also accepting that sometimes there there is an element of skill, there is an element of genetics, there's an element of all these different things. But if you're prepared and willing, then you have to keep going until you are able to reach that standard. And sometimes it might be a case where you have to change your methodology, you have to change your coach, you have to upgrade your skill set to be able to achieve what you really want to achieve. You can want it all you want and have all the preparation in the world, but sometimes you've just got to do the work. I couldn't agree more, and I think setting high expectations but not matching that with your level of application, that is setting yourself up for failure, for mental torture, really over it. You need to prove to yourself that commitment, consistency, and discipline are possible with easier wins. Perhaps you're setting the bar and the expectations expectations a little bit too high initially and you might just need to lower them slightly and build up because you can move the goalposts as you go through your journey. You may need to adjust them. It may be a time in your life where things are hectic, busy, and you just need to pull them back a little. Then maybe a time where you can push on and you can just raise the bar a little. It's actually better for the person that sets out with high expectations of themselves and then gets so far in the journey and realizes this this isn't right for me. I'd be speaking to a few different people at the moment and a lot of these individuals set out with So I'll give you an example. ⁓ was speaking to somebody the other day who set out with a long term goal of getting on stage and competing in bodybuilding. And She's done everything that's asked of her up until this stage. She hired one of the best coaches in the business that she could find. She set a target that was a realistic time frame, like three or four years ahead. She's worked really well, got amazing results. But throughout this journey and throughout this process, she's learned so much about herself that now she's starting to think, do I really want to go through with this? Do I really want to take that 5% step further at the very end of all this journey? Go through a grueling contest prep for all that period of time, then actually jump on stage. Do I need that to enhance my love for what I do and my enjoyment of the journey so far? So the expectations and the goalposts may have moved for her, and she's learned more about herself throughout that journey and throughout that process. It's sometimes better to accept that actually maybe I set my bar a little bit too high to start. And that's absolutely fine. And that's okay because I'm not going to be any happier for trying to reach that level. You're better off just bringing the bar down a little bit and saying, I'm going to be happy if I achieve this result, than to keep a really high standard, a really high bar, but then always feeling like you've never really set out to what you want to achieve and and and not being prepared to do the bit extra to get there. I have more admiration for that person than the person that keeps telling themselves. That they're gonna want that they want to do something, that I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do this, but they never actually do it. Because then you are feeding that beast of you not committing to your goals and not fulfilling the targets which you set yourself. So much more positive outcome in in all areas, isn't it? You know, if you go through with a journey and then think, actually, I don't want to take it to the extra five percent further or the extra leanness level, whatever it may be. Because Throughout trial in that journey, you've learned a heck of a lot about yourself, about what you like, what you don't like, what you want out of your life, how you can handle yourself in difficult situations, how you can be committed when you want to be, how you can be disciplined, how you actually just want to choose up and do these healthy habits because the benefit you get back from it. This particular person you've talked about has experienced all of that in her journey. And is now going, Well, actually, do I even need that next level up again? And whether she does or doesn't, she's still in a very good position because I'm gonna make a massive assumption here, but the problems she was struggling with before she started this journey are no longer a problem or challenge for her. She's probably proved herself capable of far more than what she ever thought she was capable of anyway. And I do think that there is a lot of value to accepting when enough is enough and when you've like you know, what's what's gonna change if she doesn't go through with the actual bodybuilding show at the end of it? Like what is actually gonna change for her? Like how is her life gonna change? She's already she's already achieved far more than what most people will ever achieve in the time that they're doing training for and fitness. She can take it wherever she wants. She can go wherever she wants, it's her choice. But she's proved herself capable of doing a lot more than perhaps where she started, and I think that's really valuable. On the opposite end of the spectrum, we have a lot of clients, Katie, that start with smaller wins, smaller habits, smaller expectations, and they almost feel like they're not valuable at all because they're they're only small things and they're ticking off. They're only small wins. And and we we tell them and encourage them to celebrate those small wins because they're all part of this process. But they almost feel embarrassed to feel like they've achieved something from those. And that is a really harmful mentality to have as well. I agree. I think if you're looking at your wins as small and insignificant, that is a negative way to talk about the things that you're achieving. You're effectively just sucking a life out of the things that you've done well and achieved. Things that you wouldn't have achieved if you didn't start this journey. Things that you wouldn't you know wouldn't even be a natural habit for you if you didn't start this journey a couple of a couple of months or a couple of years ago. And those those wins should never be talked down or seen as not enough. Because those individuals that are Usually talking about those wins in that way, they struggle to see themselves in a position where they have reached a particular goal because they've never been able to imagine their life looking a certain way like that, or they can imagine if they just never thought they would achieve it. Same with their body composition goals. And then they get there and it's actually through all of those small wins and goals that have allowed them to get to the place they never thought they would achieve. So rather than their bar being set too high initially, their bar was actually set not in their eyes low, but Lower in comparison to some other people's bars. But then their bar tends to move up but after that and they go, Wow, I've actually achieved that. I never thought I could. What else is out there for me now? What next can I achieve? So their bear actually starts to raise, to elevate their standards, their expectations, what they do for themselves, how they care for themselves, that ⁓ that evolves as well. Yeah, it all needs to be put in the right context, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. If you're the type of person That sets really high expectations for yourself. And the pressure of that is absolutely crippling. Well, you need to start focusing on the next rung of the ladder up, not the top of the ladder. Just take the next step up. That's all you need to do. And sometimes that will be something which seems quite small. But if that encourages you to take the next step up, and then you're already looking at the following step after that, thinking, ⁓ I could probably do this because I've just done the last one, that's much better. than constantly staring at the top of the ladder and being too afraid to put one foot up. On the flip side, though, if you are the type of person where you like to have a big, ambitious goal to work towards and you like to set yourself a high bar and a high standard, then that might feel like a little bit more pressure to you. That might feel like it's going to challenge you and stretch you a little bit more. And some people achieve absolutely phenomenal results when they set that bar and they set that standard for themselves. So don't just instantly think that it's a bad thing that you have that. But understand this one very Important point. You have to be willing to do what it takes to achieve that standard if you set a really high bar for yourself, because otherwise you're just setting yourself up to fail from the start. Yeah, I couldn't agree. You can't just say you want something if you're not willing to to do the work that needs to be done to get that something because it's just mental torture. It's like a mental prison. I've got absolutely no issue at all with challenging people over their excuses because everyone makes them. Yeah, don't we? I've got no issues at all with challenging people over bullshit. when they're given their reasons for why something hasn't been done or why they made a certain decision. Because everyone does it from time to time. We all try and save face. We all try and tell ourselves a little story about why, you know, something was particularly harder for us in that moment, or why, you know, we didn't have the discipline or the willpower or the the magic fairy to wave the magic wand and and and wish that the cake disappeared from in front of us. Instead of us having to eat it. We all tell ourselves that, right? We all come up with this stuff. And I've got no issues with that. What I have an issue with, right, and what really does grind my gears, and this is me and completely candid here on this podcast, is when somebody tells me that they is when somebody gives it the big one about what they're going to do and what they're going to achieve with all these amazing goals and amazing standards. And then the actions and the behaviors are just nothing like what they say they're going to do. That's that's where I get frustrated. And and understandably so, right? Understandably so. Because as a coach, you when individuals are telling you they want XYZ, you're already painting this map out in your head that will allow them to get to that end goal that they really want, or that next milestone, whatever it may be. You are mapping that out in a chronological order, that's not gonna be overwhelming for them, but this is already happening in your brain and you're like, right, I know how to break this down step by step, this individual to get there, and they need to do X, Y, Z, then I'll I'll I'll help them with that process. But then you get to like week, you know, the first few weeks in and they'll those actions aren't completed. You're already knowing you already know that what this person wants and what they're willing to do, it doesn't marry. And that's quite frustrating then. It's a really uncomfortable conversation to have, but it it absolutely needs to be had with with some individuals. I think it comes from a place of not wanting to sound like your goals are too small. And a lot of people will tell you they've got this really big, really bigger ambitious goal because they think it earns them more respect to have that rather than a smaller, a smaller, kind of more achievable goal, as if it's less valuable. Like Cannot stress this enough. I do not give a shit about what your goals really are. It's not for me to decide on what standard of results you want or your reason why you want to do them. My job is to help you to reach the standards which you want to reach and to achieve the targets and the goals that you set out for yourself and to fulfill. And to actually get to that place where you've achieved the result you want and say, this is exactly why I did it. My reasons why I have realized them now, and this is why I did that. That's my goal. I don't care if that's lose 20 pounds, lose 30 pounds, lose 40 pounds, get down to Ten percent body fat or six percent body fat. It's not my goal. I'm just going to get you to your goal. And I'm going to encourage the habits and the behaviors which are required to be done consistently in order to get those. And I'm going to start off with small actionable points so that you can consistently build momentum, so you can consistently build confidence, depending on where you start and the context of how many things you're currently doing that align with those goals. I'm going to add the next few steps so we can deal with that next step of the ladder up, like I discussed earlier. And I'm just going to keep building upon those, keep building upon those. If you set a really high target for yourself and a really high standard, then naturally I'm going to assume that you want to progress towards that. So I'm going to challenge you to progress the behaviors and the habits to align with that. If you're not choosing to opt for those habits and behaviors, because you set the bar really, really, really high to try and sound impressive to But then you're not doing any of that. Then that's gonna make it a really difficult conversation. It's just where the disconnect lies then, isn't it? Because like you said, Sean, it's it's the goal could be anything that individual wants it to be. And as a coach, what we care about is getting them to that goal, whatever that goal may be. And To be able to do that with an individual and take them to if it is, you know, a big scary goal, there are certain things that need to be done to get there. And yes, a coach is going to do those and should do them in actionable steps and should build towards it. But without the action, it's not you're never gonna get there. And then that disconnect can be challenging because if you're not honest about the goals that you really want and where you want to go, your coach will be telling your coach can potentially tell you actions and behaviors that may be too much for you because they're aligning on the goal that you want to achieve, that you've told them that you want to achieve. So always be honest about where you want to take things. Be honest if those goalposts move, because they may, trust me, as you go through your journey, you might realise what you're bloody capable of and go, Do you know what? I want more from this. But always be honest with where you want to take things initially. Because a good coach will make sure that the actions, ⁓ the behaviours, the habits that they're advising you to do gets you to that goal in the fastest way possible for you as an individual. It all comes back to that James Clear quote for me, which is It makes absolutely zero sense to want something if you're not prepared to do the actions that it takes to get there. You're better off just eliminating that want altogether. I have completely butchered that quote. It's along those lines. But I can find the actual quote. It doesn't matter, Bib. Just say that. It all comes back to the James Clear quote for me, which I think summarizes this really nicely. It doesn't make sense to continue wanting something if you're not prepared to do what it takes to get it. If you're not willing to live the lifestyle, then release yourself from the desire. To crave the result, but not the process, is to guarantee disappointment. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. They just are going to repel each other. It's not feeding the identity that you want to have. If you keep telling yourself you want something but you're not going to do what is prepared Yeah, it's feeding it's feeding the identity that you don't want to have. By acting. In a way. that doesn't move you closer to the goals that you're saying you want. You're better off just acknowledging that perhaps you don't really want what you're saying you want, or perhaps you don't want to go quite as far as what you've been making out. And I would rather celebrate a result with a client that I've achieved. That may seem on the surface to be less of a high bar, but that person's really happy with what they've achieved and they're really proud of themselves for achieving it. Then have to have the awkward conversation with somebody that has set themselves a ridiculously high bar. But every week. fails to do the actions which are required in order to achieve that standard which they set themselves. Just go be honest with yourself, Evanio, about what you really want and what you're willing to do. ⁓ and really be honest with yourself. That's far more empowering for me. Mm. ⁓ I agree fully. You you you're just gonna feel lost and and incapable really if you're not honest with yourself about what you really want. And you're just gonna be caught in two minds all of the time and that's not a nice place to be. I think it relates to the words and the language I can't. There are some things which we we can't do, right? Objectively we we just can't do them. I can't pla I can't ride a unicycle playing a banjo. Why not? Blood easy. Well I've never tried. But that's my point. I've never tried. There are some things that right now, in this moment, I can't do. That's probably because I haven't practiced them. That's probably because I haven't tried. That's not a permanent fixture in my life. There might be some things which Which when I try them, I realise I actually can't do this. It's rather than it's a blanket I can't, is I can't do this right now, but what can I do about it? If you flat out just go in, I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this. That's a narrative of telling yourself, You're not capable, you're not capable, you're not capable rather than I can't do this right now because I've never done it before, or I haven't practiced it enough, or it's new to me, that's a completely different mindset. Is it that you can't or is it that you won't? Very important to distinguish between those two, right? And again, going back to empowerment, I think that sometimes it's more empowering to tell yourself, I won't, or I don't want to, than it is to say, I can't. At least when you say I won't or I don't want to, you are owning the responsibility for that decision. You are taking responsibility for that decision. You are admitting to yourself that. Whatever it is that you're being asked to do is not valuable enough to you, or there are other things that are holding you back from actioning or doing that thing. It's not the outcome is not desirable enough, or you're not prepared to put yourself through the discomfort that is required to get the outcome. It's better to acknowledge that because you understand more about yourself and you're not feeding the narrative of saying, I'm incapable, I'm incapable, I'm broken, I'm not good enough. I think a lot of people say I can't when what they really mean is I won't or I'm not willing to. Yeah, it's a big difference there. A big difference. And it's okay to accept that you don't want something and you're not willing to do something. And even then, right? It might be that you're not willing to do it at that moment in time because of X, Y, Z, and that's okay too. But accept that for yourself. Free yourself from that rather than telling yourself that you can't and you're not capable. And if you can't do something right now, then why can't you? And how can you get the help that you need to be able to do it if you want the outcome? That sits on the other side of the rainbow. 'Cause sometimes it's just a case of you can't because you haven't been taught correctly, you haven't been shown correctly, you haven't been shown consistently enough, you haven't been supported for long enough. You haven't climbed up enough climbed up enough rungs on the ladder because you only know how to get up the first or the second one. So when you're saying you can't, why can't you? Say nine times out of ten, you can do it. It's finding a way to do that and how you can do it. And when you start. Taking action with those And when you start taking action and start flipping the can't to I can and start showing yourself you're capable of those things. That's when you start really achieving the things that you want to. It's a hard balance to get right, isn't it? But I think a lot of people adopt a negative mentality that Admitting you want to change something or improve something. then means that you're unhappy about yourself or you're not good enough. And I think that that is quite negative framing. I believe that you can still value yourself and still feel like You can still appreciate who you are and you can still see value in yourself whilst simultaneously looking to improve as well. I I agree fully. I don't think it's as black as and white as ⁓ I have to be unhappy in my situation or my body to want something different or want more from myself. I don't think it's a an either or. I I think you can be happy and content and ⁓ respect yourself and still wanna drive for something different, something more, something that's going to develop yourself. It doesn't mean you're going be happy with every single aspect of yourself either. That you don't have to brand yourself as I'm unhappy if you've just got a couple of things that you would like to improve. I think people are too quick to give themselves. A label or a title. And that label or title take over their entire identity and take over their entire personality. They don't balance the good with the bad so much, or the bad stuff is disproportionately weighted against the good stuff. I think that can be quite a challenging position to be in. Sometimes the kind thing to do is to want to improve yourself. Because if you have experienced self-doubt and if you have experienced confidence issues about your capabilities, then the best way to overcome them, in my opinion, is to prove to yourself that you are capable of doing some of the things you think you're not capable of doing. ⁓ that's absolutely my opinion and my own experience too. If you can push yourself through that discomfort, show yourself you are capable, your self-belief, your confidence. It just keeps improving. And I don't think there's a limit to that either. It can just get stronger. I don't think it's kind to Ignore those feelings of self-doubt and pretend for them to go away and hope they go away or to distract yourself from them. Because you're never really solving the issue and by avoiding them, then you are feeding the beast that you are the type of person that avoids those things. You are feeding the feelings of incapability and that you can't do something, even though it's much less of can't and more of you you won't or you don't know how. The same with if you don't feel good enough, right? If you feel like you're not good enough, but you don't do anything about it. Then you just feed it feed in that narrative over and over again that that's who you are and that's how things are gonna be. And you can try and spend sm all of your time convincing yourself that you're not good enough. Or you can just start taking action towards the things that you do doubt yourself about. And what do you think will improve it and what do you think would prove it yourself quicker? Spending your life thinking about it or spending some spending a couple of weeks, a couple of months, a couple of years actually proving to yourself that you are capable. Look, I I have experienced self doubt perhaps more than a lot of people that would listen to this podcast. It's just naturally the way that my brain works. I am quite I wouldn't say I'm a negative person, because that's the w wrong way to describe myself, but I can be quite pessimistic at times. I am more aware to the negatives and the consequences, sometimes in the positives. I I my brain is weighted towards the the negatives more than the positives at times. In order to balance that, I have had to encourage myself to practice positivity. I have to encourage myself to practice recognition of accomplishments, recognition of my achievements, praising myself, praising others around me, looking for the positives and reframing things. So I'm I'm quite experienced at this because it's something that I have struggled with a lot, and particularly in times of my life where. I've had my worst bouts of more depressive thinking, ⁓ more anxiety day to day. I've noticed that those practices slip or they just weren't present at all. So for me being able to kind of move past those and overcome those. But I am also Through my own experience I have also become a firm believer that things don't change just because you think about them or because you can wish them away. There there was no amount of thinking and self searching that I was going to do that was going to enable me to change myself from thinking negatively rather than positively about things. The self-doubt that I had or any self-doubts that I had were never going to go away by me just trying to sit and positively affirm to myself. And I've I've done therapy, I've used mindfulness techniques, I've done meditation, I've done journaling, I've done the positive affirmations, I've done the daily gratification. I still do some of those practices now. But in isolation and even Cumulatively together, those actions weren't enough for me to remove some of my self-doubts. They were all part of the process. But the most effective strategy for me was to go and do some of the things which you doubt yourself over. Go and prove to yourself by action. Not just trying to rewire your brain about the way that you think about yourself, because it takes a long time. And if you don't have proof, I'm a I'm a human being that responds with proof and evidence. I have to see proof of something working. I have to see evidence to change my belief systems. And it was only when I started challenging myself to do some of the things that made me feel uncomfortable that all the other stuff, all the other positive affirmations, all the journaling, the mindset stuff, the meditation, that started to make sense once I started to do the actions. All that other stuff was the precursor and the stuff that put me in a positive. place and a positive mindset to then go and do the stuff and it's doing the stuff the really builds your self-belief. When you were talking then, Sean, and you you summarized it well at the end, I was thinking it's kind of like the ignition in the car is all of those, you know, the mindful techniques, the the positive affirmation, the reframing things. But that car's not not gonna go if if it hasn't got the fuel in it it needs. And the fuel is like you do in the actions day to day. It's the ⁓ not the actions day to day, sorry, the actions that make you doubt yourself. It's not avoiding them, it's doing them. So you've got to have them both. They kind of help each other to overcome that self-doubt. But you can't just keep telling yourself that I can do this. I'm just practicing, but not actually do the practice. Yeah, I mean you can say this about anything, can't you? I mean Doesn't matter how many times you practice a scenario in your head. Until you do it, you're never gonna re-believe that you can do it. That's the only way to truly be confident in my opinion is by doing the thing that you're worried about not being able to do. And sometimes it's doing it multiple times. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. I'd rather do something and try it and know that I've tried it and know that I've given it what it takes. Again, an example. ⁓ playing guitar. A couple of years ago I started to learn to play guitar, had lessons on a weekly basis for about maybe 18 months or so. I was consistent with my practice for the vast majority of that time. And I was making progress, but the progress was really slow. And one of the reasons why the progress was really slow was because at the same time I was trying to build this business and I was also working with my stepdad. And my practice was just not of the quality that it should have been for somebody that wanted to progress with it. And then towards the end it started getting less frequent. It's not that I wasn't practicing at all, but For anybody that plays a musical instrument, little and often is a really good way to improve your skill at that. I wanted to know if I could play guitar. I always was interested by the thought of doing it, but I never actually did it. And it was one of those things where it just kind of kept eating away at me that I've never actually tried doing this thing. I've never actually tried it. So I committed myself to doing it for 18 months. And I could sit here and say, I'm ashamed to say I quit, but I'm not ashamed to say I quit. I'm not ashamed to say I stopped playing it. Because what I realized was how much thought and commitment needed to go into doing that and learning how to do it at a high standard. Probably how many years it was gonna take me to be able to do this at a really high standard. And was I prepared and willing to do what it took to then be able to do it? I and the honest answer was no, I wasn't, because there were other things in my life at the time that I was placing at higher priority. I was making excuses for myself for why I wasn't able to do those those practices. When I was doing some of the practices, I was absolutely shattered. I was absolutely exhausted. I wasn't really concentrated and focused as well as I should have been. I wasn't getting out of it. I was n what I was getting out of it was equivalent to what I was putting into it. Now that's a big admission. That's me taking a lot of ownership for that. So I quit. So I stopped. And I'm fully accepting over my decision for why I quit. And fully accepting over my decision why I failed. Now, do you think that is more empowering to me to say I chose to quit because I wasn't willing to do the work that was required? And I out of respect for my time, out of respect for my guitar tutor's time, I said that this is on me and I'm not doing it. Do you think that empowers me more about my own self belief or Do you think I'd be more empowered if I said, I can't do this, I can't play guitar, I'm shit at playing guitar? You could have easily done in that moment, right? Because it's when you have so many life commitments and stress is on, it's easy to offer the I can't do it, I'm not capable of it, let's just sack it off. This is in this is impossible. I don't know how people do this, blah blah blah blah blah. If I ever choose to go back to playing guitar, I am armed with the knowledge that last time when I tried it, I committed myself for a while and it was going well, but I didn't commit myself for long enough to see the results I wanted. So if I go back into that, I'm fully armed with the power that I've tried it and I know what it's going to take next time. So I can make my decision whether I want to go back into it or not. I wouldn't have that experience if I didn't give it a try to begin with. I could have written myself off and told myself that I'll never be able to do it. It'll be completely impossible. It's not for people like me. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Sometimes you just gotta go there to try it, to realise, yep, this is for me, or nope, I need to pull back. Rather than just get stuck in that, I can't loop in your head. Another framework I'd like to suggest is Off the back of what I was saying about choosing to have a more positive outlook. When you're trying something new that's scary, that's potentially Going to be difficult. Approach that from a place of excitement and curiosity. Approach it with one eye on the reward value that you're gonna get back from doing it, rather than approaching it from that place of guilt, from punishment or from negativity. It's a choice what side you focus on, right? Ultimately all of this comes down to a choice. You can either choose to look at something that's a bit scary to tackle as Hard punishment, or you can opt to go, let's go in with an open mind. Let's see where this brings me. Frame this one for me, Katie. What about going on a diet to lose fat? Rather than I have to go on a diet to lose weight, I can't have Cake on takeaways. think I'm choosing to enter temporary period to lose body fat. foods that I'm going to restrict are just gonna be on a temporary basis. It's not my life forever. And the reward I'm gonna get from choosing to delve into a fat loss phase. So I'm gonna be more confident in myself. I'm gonna be able to Wear clothes that I feel more comfortable in. I'm gonna be healthier as a individual overall. I'm gonna just prove to myself that I am capable of doing this. It's an opportunity for me To feel a whole lot better about myself day to day. With opportunity, that's excitement, right? That's what's out there for me. What's it gonna what am I gonna gain? What can I get from this? Rather than it being something I have to do, I'm forced to do. It's okay, what's up there? Give it to me. I'm ready for it. I love it. Really good reframe. I'm gonna put you on the spot and I'm gonna test your brain in this aggressive diet at this stage of the podcast. So Here we go. That's a big task. So quickfire. What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna say a negative statement. And what I want you to do is I want you to flip it to a positive. This is the power of reframing, okay? So my diet is gonna be really restrictive. I'm choosing to not have certain foods right now because it's gonna get me better results. I'm gonna have to say no to all the things I enjoy. The things I enjoy are gonna be there after my diet. Right now, I could get really speedy fat loss results if I just hold back on a little bit of that enjoyment right now. I'm gonna find it really hard to say no to things. I'm up for the challenge of saying no to things because it doesn't align with what I want right now. And I see this as an opportunity to prove to myself that I'm capable. Wanted you to mention discipline. It's an opportunity to ⁓ for me to show show my discipline. But it's okay. Okay. ⁓ wrong with I didn't want you to reframe it in exactly the same way as a section you just did before. ⁓ okay. But it's okay. Don't try again. What was it? Okay. ⁓ it might come back up again. It might come back up again. So I'm thinking of this. Yeah, you you're doing a really good job. So don't worry. Let me carry on. ⁓ This is gonna last forever. Gonna take re is ⁓ I'm going to be diet in for a really long time. If I can give this period my all, get good results, I can get in and out of this period much quicker. I will show myself that I am a disciplined person, I am a committed person, and I also will get out of dieting much quicker. Vietin is only temporary. It shouldn't it's not I don't know where you're asking me to go, sorry. I know, but what's gonna happen in the future? Like they're gonna have all they they're gonna spend most of their time away from phalanos, the sooner they get this done, the less time they're That's what I said though. ⁓ it's not. Okay, it's fine. Okay. Okay, hang on. Okay. ⁓ Rather than get rather than this diet taking me forever, it's a short period of my life so I can get out of dieting and spend more time away from dieting. What the scales or something? Foods I'm gonna eat are gonna be really boring. If I choose wisely and choose foods that are a little bit plainer in taste, but I can eat in large quantities, it's gonna make this process so much easier for myself. And the tasty foods will still be there afterwards. I don't like cooking, I'm not a very good cook. I can keep my meals really simple. still get great quality nutrition in that allows me to lose body fat at a great rate over the next couple of weeks. I'm a foodie. I can't give up my food. I'm gonna laugh at ⁓ it's not doing it. I I gotta have a little bit of a tickle with this one because honestly, I'll be up there for the competition of the biggest foodie on the planet. So this this this excuse doesn't wash with me. But anyway, anyway I love the fact that I'm a foodie. It's gonna give me a great opportunity to get a very good a very healthy diet in. However I'm always no, I don't know how to reframe this one actually, without the context. Can I reframe this one? I'm a foodie. I think everyone's a foodie. But this part of my journey, when I do it well, it's only temporary. And then I can go back to eating more of the foods that I really enjoy and I really love. And I've got a good reframe for this one as well, Katie, because I've watched you do this as a foodie whilst you've been in your aggressive diet. I am a foodie and I will have to make some sacrifices with some of the things that I enjoy, but I'm gonna view this as an opportunity to use this to my advantage, have lots of variety in my diet, even when I'm trying to lose fat. I'm gonna find new fun and creative ways to come up with new recipes and new ideas so that my diet doesn't have to be really boring. Because I'm such a food, such a foodie. I've got a wide variety of things that I like, so I can really play around with things. That is a way better positive reframe than I gave just then. My brain has absolutely gone to cabbage, I won't lie. To be fair, I did put you on the spot with those and you did a really good job. But that is what I do. I that is absolutely spot done. So why that one didn't just naturally come out, I don't know, because that is how I reframe my aggressive diets all the time. Probably because you don't Probably because you don't want to think anymore about food. yeah. But look, the purpose of that exercise, for those listening, is to show you that everything can be reframed if you just know how to do it. And you just need to put that practice in to learn how to do that over time. And you choose to do it continuously. Because there's still time that I have to reframe stuff, and but that's just my habit to do now. And like there will be some people that sat there listening to this going. ⁓ yeah, that's easier said than done. No it's not. No, it's not easier said than done. It's something you've got to work at and it's someone you've got to practice. And there might be some people that sit there going, ⁓ that's a load of shit. Well if you say it's a load of shit, then you're always going to be negative and grumpy, aren't you? And you're probably not going to achieve the results you want. It is what you make of it. If you want to like we all bullshit ourselves over things. We all tell ourselves little stories and tell ourselves little lies. Why not tell yourself a little story and a little lie that's gonna actually get you better results and better outcomes? Use that to your advantage. All those little excuses you make for yourself, those are bullshit as well. So why not put some positive bullshit into the mix for a change? Constructive bullshit. There we are. That's such a thing. But it is now constructive bullshit. It is now. I know it can sound a bit airy fairy, I but it's it's not. Like you your environment, not just around you, but the environment you live in your brain is really important too and has a massive impact on how you ⁓ how you ⁓ feel day to day, how you think day to day, how you take action. And it's your choice whether you try and put more of a positive spin on that, or if you keep yourself locked in the dark dungeon. You are not your thoughts. But don't underestimate the power that they can have on you. Let's wrap it up and summarise this pretty in-depth episode so far before Katie starts eating her fingers because she is really, really scraping the barrel on this ⁓ on this fat loss phase now. You have it's past all of your chitter chatter has made me skip my snack time. What's your snack today? Half a rice cake. Actually, this is where my Foodies, appetite comes into play, and I am going to have some chocolate Greek yogurt with some berries and probably a sprinkle of Wheatabix on top. Doesn't really sound like a diet, does it, to be honest? Mm-mm. Funny that. Get my chocolate fix. And you're in what? A thousand calorie deficit a day at the moment? Yes. Seven thousand calorie deficit for the week? Yes. Yeah. Looking forward to a refeed. Actually, I've seen looking forward to a refeed of the weekend. I'm pleasantly surprised how okay I'm feeling about it, even only, you know, with what two days left of this cycle. ⁓ I thought I'd be struggling a lot more by this point. I don't actually feel like I need a break yet, which has been it's just amazing actually. It's just amazing. So yeah, I'm really really happy with how this AD phase has gone. But I am also really looking forward to my snack, so let me not waffle on anymore. You were saying, Sean. It's just a nice way to end, isn't it? Because again, like the last three weeks, your approach to your aggressive diet has been very positive because I think you've been so excited by the end result and the outcome that you're going to achieve and challenging yourself. Like you haven't done the aggressive diet for as long as you've planned to do it this year. So it's a challenge. It's taking your body composition to a new level that you that you haven't seen before. And I think you've put all that excitement and positivity, just like we discussed into the last section, into action for this phase. Like I've barely heard you moan moan or grumble about anything once. And I've definitely heard you moan and grumble on fat loss phases in the past. ⁓ I'm all in on this one. The challenge is on and I've accepted it and I'm here for it. And it's so good to see. And it's and I do think that that's heavily correlated with your results that you're getting so far. And hopefully in a couple of weeks time, a couple of months time when we When we show the end results for you all on social media, you'll be able to to to really see that come into fruition. But yeah, it's ⁓ it's it's basically epitomized what we have said in this podcast about positive frame and you've got better at doing this over time, Katie. And I have seen that improvement in you. ⁓ I think it's it's a powerful thing and it's something that doesn't matter how experienced you are, doesn't matter how long you've been in the game for, you can still get better at this. It it it is a daily practice and it's something that I think a lot of people need to give a lot more time and respect to. Mm-hmm. ⁓ I I fully agree. Fully agree. So, in summary then, start us off. You can't avoid negative thoughts entirely, but you can choose how to respond to them. Beating yourself up over and over again doesn't help you, but sometimes guilt can be an alert system for a habit or behaviour you may consider changing. There is zero value in setting yourself an unrealistic expectation for something you are unwilling to do. Lower the bar and work up. You can work on self-acceptance and self-improvement at the same time. It doesn't have to be one or the other. And sometimes the kind of thing is to push yourself to get uncomfortable in order to achieve the goal that would prove that all your doubts are wrong. If this stuff was easy, everyone would be doing it. We wouldn't need to speak about it on a podcast. There wouldn't be books, courses, or coaching available to support you with doing this stuff. This is deep work. And a lot of people will scoff at this, but those people are rarely the ones that actually achieve the goals which they set out to achieve, like we've discussed in this podcast. Immense sense of self capability and confidence, tackling any goals and targets they set themselves. What have I written there? Nor will they ever really achieve the immense sense of self-capability and confidence that comes from tackling any goals and targets they set themselves. We specialize in helping gym goers, both male and female, to build a body they can be proud of, not just in appear not just in appearance, but in its capabilities too. We can't do the work for you, but we can give you the structure, routine, and accountability to make the work as manageable as possible. It's fully personalized, one-to-one coaching, not a j AI-generated slop. And if you want to be leaner, stronger, and have more defined muscle, use the inquiry from the description below this episode and We'll reach out to be and we'll be in touch. Read that bit again. Use the inquiry form in the description the whole section. If you want to be leaner. And if you want to be leaner, stronger and have more defined muscle, use the inquiry form in the description below and we'll be in touch. Okay. Just say and we'll get in touch. If want to be leaner, stronger and have more defined muscle, head to this description, there'll be an inquiry form there and one of us will get in touch. That's all for today, but next time we'll be back to discuss how to enjoy your summer without turning into a beach ball. We'll discuss our best strategies to find a middle ground between keeping up some health and physique positive habits without having to avoid all social events and experiencing FOMO. See you all next week.