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The Courage to Stay: How to Be Present in the Midst of Suffering · Neighbourly: Real Stories of Care and Community

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Yeah. I think he realized that this life wasn't for us to just live on
0:05
our own, but it's to live with people. This hope
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that we have is not in the pain and the sadness in this world, but
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the hope is in joy and what's to come. I think he was
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able to have some hope in friendship at the end.
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Yeah. If anything, he was, someone that came and taught us beautiful,
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beautiful lessons. What if presence is the
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most powerful form of courage? What if we've
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mistaken compassion for solutions when what we really need
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is solidarity? Maybe loving well starts
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with courage to simply stay. This
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is Journey with Care, a podcast by Care Impact where curious
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Canadians find inspiration to love others well through real life
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stories and honest conversations.
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It was about twenty five years ago, I used to lead worship at our church's
1:00
ministry center right in the heart of our city here in the toughest part of
1:03
our city. There was a lot of visible struggle there, addiction,
1:07
homelessness, and deep poverty. I told myself that being
1:11
on stage and leading worship, I was doing my part to serve the community,
1:15
and to a degree I was. But I also stayed in a place
1:19
that felt safe. I stayed on the stage.
1:23
In the room, people were handing out soup and sandwiches at the tables while prayers
1:26
and worship filled the room, But it took me a long time to make
1:30
the move from stage to the table. When I finally sat
1:34
down with those who came for a meal, everything shifted. I heard
1:38
stories that were raw and real, about family, about
1:41
loss, and about hope. I even met a guy who is a far
1:45
better musician than I'll ever be, and probably should have been the one on the
1:49
stage. What struck me was that I began to see them not by
1:52
where they were, but by who they were. Our
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guest today, Emily, lives in that space of presence. She does
2:00
naturally what took me years and some uncomfortable steps to lean
2:04
into. Because it isn't about having the right words or the
2:08
right solutions. Sometimes the greatest courage is
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just choosing to sit at the table. So today's
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guest is Emily Demetrew, the community outreach pastor at Anchor
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Pointe Church here in Winnipeg and the heart behind the Fort Garry Collective.
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She's not just a leader in community development. She's someone who deeply
2:26
embodies finding those connections where others might pass
2:30
by. But what struck me most is the way she talks about friendship
2:34
with warmth, with grief, and with the kind of hope that
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costs something. Alright. I'm gonna hand it over to you, Wendy, to get this
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conversation underway. I would love to. With me here
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in studio, we have Emily Demetrio, and it's so good to have you
2:49
here. Emily is somebody that is near and dear to my heart. I I
2:52
attend her church. She's a community outreach director at Anchor Pointe
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Church. And before I get started, we're talking about the
2:59
courage to stay, how to be present in the midst of suffering.
3:03
And you immediately came to mind about being present
3:06
with others. And to get us started, I'd love to ask
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you this question. Can you share a moment recently when
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someone's presence made a real difference to you?
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I just I got married seven months ago, and I didn't realize how much,
3:22
like, presence with someone, like, actually, like, walking with someone and living
3:26
with someone was so huge and, and amazing and such a
3:29
blessing. It's probably been one of the things I've loved the most is just being
3:34
present with my husband, being able to walk through life with him
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as a partner, as, like, an equal and talking about things and processing
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things. And then even the, we call it, together alone time,
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when you're both just, like, sitting there, you don't need to talk.
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You're either reading or you're both just there in silence. And it's
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very powerful. It's very impactful just knowing that there's
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somebody else there who knows you, who knows
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your needs and how they're met and can just sit there with you,
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that's been a beautiful, beautiful experience for myself. And
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then I was also thinking about a while ago, I had to go
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run some errands and go talk to some, yeah, knock on some doors with
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some government officials, and I went to three different places. And I
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took a friend along with myself, one of my dear friends,
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and it was just having that person with you who could stand in line with
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you, who probably didn't know what was going on, but was just willing
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to be there with myself and to, like, encourage
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me as I was feeling a little bit like, wow. I'm going to know the
4:37
third place that I didn't expect to go to. And then
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just a car ride of just talking and them being full of joy and
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talking about something other than I was dealing with was a really big blessing. And
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so that was, like, presence that I didn't know I needed
4:52
until it was met, and it was very
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impactful. I love that, Emily. And you
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are out in the community being present with others, and we're gonna get into
5:03
your stories a little bit coming up here. But
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to understand what other people mean to you, as
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caregivers, often we can be the ones outputting our presence and being in
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those places, and and we can be professional caregivers, and
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yet you learning to receive and to be
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radically present with others and them with you in a reciprocal
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way is very powerful. Because as caregivers
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with a heart of compassion, you also need the presence of others as
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well. Right? Yep. So I meet with a group of
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girls on Wednesday nights, and we just we talk,
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we commune, we read the bible together. It's wonderful. And I
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was I was talking with them, and then one of them and we were just
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checking in with each other, you know, as you do. And then one of them
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was like, woah, Emily. You probably don't get asked how you're
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doing because you're always asking. And then it's like, it's interesting when people
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say, how are you doing? You're like, oh, I'm good. Right? Because you're used to
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being the one that's asking. And then like you said, when you get
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asked, it's like you kinda get taken aback, and you're like, well, I'm good.
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Like, I'm always good. And so that that's cool to have that and
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to also think about it and be like, yeah. Do you need those people?
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And I often get uncomfortable when people ask me how I'm doing because I always
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like to ask. That was also very meaningful.
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Well, I think your vulnerability invites other people's vulnerability
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so that it's not just a one way street. It requires a
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really secure attachment, a sense of
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belonging to be able to receive other people's help. But I think that's
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something that we need to learn as we care for others to
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receive it in equal amounts is is so important.
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So, Emily, I know you're very involved in Winnipeg,
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in the Fort Garry area where the church is located.
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And the church is very community minded, really wanting to
6:57
invest in community relationships. And you
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are the heart and the mind behind the Fort
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Garry Collective, and you've taken on that initiative to
7:08
help the community flourish. Can you tell me a little bit about your
7:11
journey into forming the Fort Garry Collective? Yeah.
7:15
This was a journey that started years ago that I
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didn't even know this was probably on the path that it was taking me.
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I actually grew up in the country, so not in a
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city, not in a a town with that community. So community looked different
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to myself, and community is when you had to really work to make
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because you're isolated otherwise. My parents did a great
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job of us making a community outside of our
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immediate location. And so I
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I worked at a number of different non for profits and,
7:49
a shelter as well as volunteering different places
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and just seeing the need to bring people
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together and to have a place where people are are able to
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share their story. And a gathering spot
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has always been a a dream of mine. And then I've traveled different places
8:08
in the world, and I've noticed that there's these gathering places
8:12
that allow people to feel feel, like,
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safe and secure there, and then they can just open up. And I find that
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often it's usually around food. Like, food is a great gathering. So
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whether it's just coffee or culture. Right? Right. Yeah.
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And so a couple of years ago, when I first
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started attending Anchor Point, I was taking
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this, this course that we do called Journey one just to actually
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get to know the the community of the church. And I went up to Donovan,
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and I was like, wouldn't it be cool if we had, like, a
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greenhouse, art studio, cafe, therapy
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center? That was just been a dream of mine. I've known how
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greenhouses, like, just green life around you and plants are
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super important. And so, I just had
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this dream for a long time, and I, I so I told Donovan that.
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And Donovan, he's always, like, gung ho about all this stuff. And so he was
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like, oh, yeah. That'd be super cool. And he's like, that's kinda been a dream
9:10
of mine too. And then, I was currently working at a
9:13
different place. I was working at a woman's shelter as well as working at
9:17
a school at the time. And then a couple
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probably a year after that, Donovan approached me and asked if I wanted to come
9:25
on board and work as the community outreach director at
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Anchor Point with the hope of starting a charity called
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Fort Garry Collective in the community of Fort Garry. And
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I immediately said yes, and I was like, that would be my dream job.
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And so that's that's where the journey began. Well and
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I've loved seeing you build that role as
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you've, invested yourself into the Anchor Pointe church
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community and in the Fort Garry area. You're continuously building
9:55
relationships within the community at all different levels, bringing
9:58
different sectors together, and just seeing this painting this
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bigger picture than just the church to saying, what if we
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work together? And and that's being radically present in
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community. And and along the way, you inevitably
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build a lot of relationships with people in the community
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that some might pass by on the other side of
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the road. Some might say, you know what? That's not
10:24
really my thing. And yet you have a warmth and
10:27
ability to be present with these people, not only be present, but
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it bring inclusion into the community. And, can you tell
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me a little bit about what that's been like? And and particularly,
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I was touched by your interaction and your
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story unfolding with Wayne. Can you tell me a little
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bit more about that? Yeah. I'd love to.
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I have always realized that I felt more comfortable
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outside the church and talking with people than inside the
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church. And it it wasn't anything to do with the people in
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the church. I just I loved being out,
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and there's not a pressure to
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be right aways in their face
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trying to evangelize them in a sense. That's a kind of a crass way to
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put it, and I don't think the church really does that. But maybe that was
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just how I had kind of assumed things. But whereas when you're not
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in a church and you're out you're out in creation in the community,
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you're able to start relationships and friendships
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without maybe the pressure of something else right aways.
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And I found that I loved talking with individuals just about their life and
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getting to know them and being able to
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build that relationship outside of maybe the church
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without having that pressure. And we have a lot of people that just walk
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in, which is beautiful as well, just walking off the streets
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just because they see the lights are on or the doors are open or
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they wanna charge their phone or they're looking for coffee. Yeah. That's
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how I actually met my friend Wayne was one day I was
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driving. Yeah. Can I just ask you a question? I wanna
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get into Wayne's story, but something you've been describing has
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caught my attention here. Talk to the listener,
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to the average individual that may be hearing this story
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for the first time and saying they're walking down the street, approaching that
12:25
person at the bus shelter, the person in the tent city,
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or the person doing life on the park bench outside your
12:32
church just needing that cup of coffee, they're not feeling
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that inclination. They're not feeling that warm and fuzzy. They there
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may be a a sense of should. I see them, but I'm I'm
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I'm scared or I I don't know what to do
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or I'm not naturally like Emily. I'm gonna hide in your
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shadows. Talk to that individual. How can you
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ease their discomfort if they're standing right beside you
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with Wayne right now? Yeah. A smile
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and body language goes a long way. So if you're walking up to an
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individual that maybe honestly makes you uncomfortable, and that's fair, you
13:10
gotta know, like, safety and have wisdom. But
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if you are, like, back towards them not even willing to
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engage, that already speaks volumes. But if you're, like, turn
13:22
toward them smiling, and if you catch their eye sometimes people
13:25
just wanna be left alone, and that's fair. Mhmm. But if they're like
13:29
you catch their eye and you're smiling, and you ask them how
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they're doing and you genuinely care how they're doing, not just, like, the polite, oh,
13:37
how are you? But, like, you actually care and you're willing to listen,
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that goes a long way. You can ask the questions. You can
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be willing, and sometimes the other person isn't. And that's okay.
13:49
But to already be willing to listen and to be present
13:52
for however long you have speaks volumes. It
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speaks volumes. And it's very easy to look at
14:00
individuals and not feel that warm and fuzzy, like you said, when you're when you're
14:04
only focused on yourself and you're maybe discomfort or I don't know
14:07
how to interact or all these, like, questions of, like, oh, is it gonna be
14:11
helpful? And to maybe just stop thinking about yourself
14:14
for that little bit and to actually just think about the other individual
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is is really big. Thank you for sharing
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that. And I think what I've appreciated observing you and how you
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have just so naturally brought people into the community
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is that there's not this sense of I need to
14:33
fix people or solve their situation. You you
14:37
wanna respond and you're responsive, but there's there's
14:40
this kinship, this family, this you and
14:44
me. We're human together, just journeying life and that
14:48
presence that really brings us into this story with Wayne and how
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tell us a little bit of how you, first met Wayne and
14:55
and and how that unfolded.
14:59
Yeah. Wayne was, at a street
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corner as I was driving by, and I had just missed talking
15:06
with him. So I'd actually just yelled at him to come
15:10
meet me at the church. And I wasn't sure if he heard me, and I
15:14
didn't wanna sound rude. I was like, wow. I feel bad. I just yelled at
15:17
him. But half an hour later, there he was in our in our church
15:20
entrance. And that evening, we were having a soup and buns
15:24
evening for just prayer room or anyone in the community who wants to
15:28
come in. So he joined us for a meal, which was amazing, and I was
15:31
able to talk with him. And it was a first short interaction.
15:35
It was very much just like yeah. Like you said,
15:39
Wendy, not seeing an individual for their problem or being a
15:42
project, but for seeing them for who they are and that they're they're a
15:46
person like all of us. And so that evening, I got
15:50
to I got to know Wayne and just hear a little bit of his story,
15:54
and that just brought on the conversation of the
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situation he was living in and that he really just
16:01
wanted friendship. He just wanted to talk with someone. And
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so I invited him back in a couple of days to come and talk. And
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the invitation's out there, and you never know if people are gonna take it. But
16:12
he he took it, and he came. And, yeah, that
16:16
started a beautiful time of Wayne and myself
16:19
just honestly, it was him talking and just sharing his life
16:23
story, and he was such a good storyteller. And we got
16:27
to know each other. I got to meet his workers and
16:31
work alongside them trying to find him housing and,
16:35
work with just different parts of his life. And just knowing
16:38
that no matter what situation he came from, he was
16:42
always he was always welcome to either just use the bathroom or their microwave.
16:46
And then individuals in the church community started recognizing
16:50
him, which just warmed my heart so much, and they would invite him
16:54
in and where they would see him, like, somewhere
16:57
because sometimes I wouldn't see him for a while, and then I would get a
17:01
a a text from someone saying, I just saw Wayne in this part of the
17:05
city. And so then I would drive over there, and then I would find him.
17:08
So it was really help. It was like a beautiful network that kinda came
17:11
together. So that's how Wayne and I got to know each other and got
17:15
to become friends and walk alongside each other.
17:20
Yeah. I remember Wayne briefly. I did have coffee with
17:24
him one time when he was in the foyer, and we got to to share
17:27
coffee. And I love that we could
17:31
just sit and have coffee, but I don't think it would have
17:35
happened just randomly had you not reached out.
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And I know sometimes that it it is unconventional. You're like, oh, should I have
17:42
yelled at him? They're like, hey. Come to the church. But you don't know those
17:45
those those chance encounters of connection. Just putting yourself
17:49
out there. You made yourself vulnerable, actually, by,
17:53
inviting him. And I think a lot of people might be fear of rejection or
17:57
fear of coming across wrong, but there was something in there.
18:00
Obviously, he felt your heart in it. You weren't like, get over to the
18:04
church. You know? You were like, you're welcome. You're that sense of
18:07
belonging, your body language, and your your tone
18:11
was calling him in to community. And
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isn't that what we all long for? It's not just Wayne out there.
18:18
Aren't we all longing for that come, that invitation?
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Isn't that what Jesus does when he invites us? Come.
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And when Jesus invites us to come, there's a sense of
18:30
urgency and longing and hunger that you shared. I
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think that's beautiful. I know there's more to his story, and it's not
18:38
about fixing. But what was that journey like as you continue
18:42
to create space for Wayne in your life?
18:46
Yeah. Wayne, I gave him my number so he could
18:50
call if there is any any times that he needed help or anything.
18:53
And sometimes, depending in kind of mood he was in, he would he
18:57
would call and just check-in and say like, hey, Emily. I'm, like, sleeping here
19:01
tonight just to let you know I'm safe. And that always warmed my heart, and
19:05
my husband and I became really good friends with Wayne. We'd have
19:08
coffee with him often, and he almost was able
19:12
to have Thanksgiving with us. It was hard when, he didn't have a phone at
19:16
times, and he would Mhmm. He would have a bike, and so we would try
19:19
to find him when we could. But, yeah, Wayne ended up sleeping
19:23
on our property on the Anchor Point property for a while, which,
19:27
we loved it. It it kinda was nice because I got to know where he
19:30
was lots of the time, and his workers would come and meet with Wayne
19:34
at the church, and we would work together. We did quite
19:38
a few apartment applications, and then I
19:41
did, like, some some applications for, like,
19:45
referring him to certain apartments. And so we became really good
19:48
friends. Yeah. And then when winter started approaching, then, you know, the needs
19:52
kinda get more serious where you're like, hey. We really would like to find a
19:55
place for this gentleman. And sometimes different
19:59
search different situations aren't always the best in certain
20:02
areas and knowing his history. And then,
20:06
I got an email at the December,
20:10
yeah, that, Wayne had passed away.
20:14
And in that moment, it was very interesting. I was in the middle of
20:17
a meeting exactly talking about finding transitional housing and
20:21
working through these problems in our community, which Fort
20:25
Garry probably doesn't look like it has that many
20:29
needs in that sense, but there are a lot of hidden needs. They're not
20:33
as obvious. There's a lot of hidden needs. If we could just
20:36
bookmark that, in community development. We often maybe
20:40
categorize certain parts of our cities or certain cities as,
20:44
oh, they're the the poor ones or this this sector, and and there's a lot
20:47
of truth to that. But poverty and
20:51
suffering knows no bounds in postal
20:55
codes. There's some more intensity, more vulnerabilities in certain
20:58
areas, but this isn't an area that has a
21:02
Thermea Nordic spa Yeah. And a
21:06
private expensive private school Mhmm.
21:09
And also has intense poverty
21:13
hidden in plain sight. We can't underscore that. I'm
21:17
curious, though, in that moment when you got that email.
21:21
You've said it. Wayne is your friend. He's become part of the
21:24
community. And you were part of his journey of
21:28
finding housing, and then this happened where
21:32
where he passed away. What did that do
21:36
for you? What was going through your mind and your heart, your
21:39
soul in that moment when you've really
21:43
loved on this person in the community and it
21:47
came to this tragic news? Initially, my
21:50
heart dropped, you know, when you feel it in your stomach.
21:55
And, the sadness of losing someone you care
21:58
about and you were hoping for a better future for them.
22:02
You had this hope and this anticipation of
22:06
finding a place and Right. You know, continuing
22:10
to have this friendship. And when you talk, you're like, oh, next Thanksgiving
22:14
and all of these things. And then to find out that it's
22:17
suddenly all over, it's a big
22:21
shock. I don't ever wanna become numb to those
22:25
because there's been other times I've lost individuals in my life that I've been walking
22:28
with, especially through addictions. And you don't ever want
22:32
to become numb to that and just be like, okay. Well, there's another one.
22:36
But there was also this this sense of, like,
22:40
oh, he's no longer suffering on the streets. He's no
22:44
longer in the cold. But it doesn't ever outweigh the
22:47
sadness of losing a friend and of realizing he's
22:50
gone. But it also kinda just was suiting that
22:54
it was exactly that meeting talking about transitional housing that
22:58
we had this email because it was just like, yeah, it reminded
23:02
me why we were fighting for what we were and why we
23:05
want to keep working towards community
23:09
and the health of a community and the
23:13
places of gathering that allow people to feel
23:16
loved. And so it wasn't a defeat.
23:21
It was like a, okay. This is why we're doing it. This is
23:24
why we're doing it. So to all those listening to
23:28
your journey, would you tell them it was worth
23:32
it? Even if you would have known the tragic end or the
23:35
short journey that you had with them, those moments, those fleeting
23:39
moments now, but at a crucial time in his life,
23:43
was it worth it? That was a question I think I had to ask
23:47
myself quite a bit, especially right after it happened.
23:50
And probably years past when I have lost individuals I've worked
23:54
with, you almost kinda say it's not worth it, and you
23:58
can get bitter and hard. But that's not a
24:02
lifestyle I wanna live and one that actually
24:05
provides life and joy. And so in that
24:09
moment, you're like, it's actually so worth it all. It's actually
24:12
worth it all. Well, in Isaiah fifty eight ten
24:16
says, if you spend yourself in behalf of the hungry and
24:20
satisfy the needs of the oppressed. It doesn't say if you fix and solve their
24:24
solution if you're their savior. If you spend yourself in
24:28
behalf of them, then your light will rise in the darkness.
24:32
There's a light that comes in those spaces that
24:36
defies darkness even that this world cannot overshadow
24:40
the light within you, Emily. And I've seen it. I can testify
24:44
that it radiates in those places and you keep going
24:48
back. You keep going back into the lives of others and inviting
24:51
other people to journey alongside, some really
24:55
difficult situations, the verse finishes and your night will
24:59
become like the noonday. Isn't that what our world needs a
25:03
lot more? I I just wonder back to our our whole series, the cost
25:07
of indifference. What would it have looked like? What would it have cost
25:10
us? What would it have cost Wayne in his his last
25:14
days knowing he was had belonging, he had friendship with you
25:17
and others that you introduced him to? But what would that have cost
25:21
him and and our church community if we would have just said we were
25:25
indifferent to him and just kept going on without him?
25:29
Oh, like, he actually gave me so much.
25:34
It wasn't even, like, me just pouring. It was actually him
25:37
pouring into me so much as well as a friend
25:41
and as a storyteller. And his his memories,
25:46
those times of laughter and joy with him, like, those those I
25:50
will never lose. Those I won't lose. And he taught
25:54
me so many lessons, and I think individuals around him
25:57
him lessons. And to see how he
26:01
helped those in need as well and was so willing the amount of
26:05
times he would come, and he would bring food to the church to give to
26:08
people. I was, like, blown away.
26:12
Yeah. I think he realized that this life wasn't for us to just live on
26:16
our own, but it's to live with people. This hope
26:20
that we have is not in not is not in the pain and the sadness
26:24
in this world, but the hope is in in the joy and what's to
26:27
come. I think he was able to have some hope in
26:31
friendship at the end. Yeah. If anything, he was,
26:35
someone that came and taught us beautiful, beautiful lessons.
26:39
That is the beautiful thing in this
26:43
upside down kingdom that God invites us into. It's not a
26:47
should care for the poor, the oppressed, those going through
26:50
suffering. But God is close to the brokenhearted.
26:54
Matthew 25, when did you see me hungry or in prison? All these places that
26:58
we wouldn't wanna naturally go. We might not be as inclined
27:01
as you are, Emily, to say, hey. I I wanna get to know them.
27:05
But that's where God is, and sometimes we're looking for God in the wrong
27:09
places. Yes. We can find him in worship and together
27:12
as a church, but there's a depth to understanding
27:16
God when we can journey with others that it's not just
27:20
about caring for. We should care for and and
27:24
have acts of mercy and justice. But God is in those places, and
27:28
it you'll never be the same, I'm sure, Emily. The church has
27:31
been impacted and has been edified, and we
27:35
are so grateful for that time that we could have with
27:38
Wayne. Thank you for bringing that to light. So, Emily,
27:43
you and I can look all around us. Our listeners can look all around
27:46
ourselves and see a lot of opportunities
27:50
and a lot of overwhelm, actually, of the crises around
27:54
us. You you just look at the news. You look out on the street. And
27:57
then not to mention, we also said there's so much hidden, actually, more
28:01
hidden than what is apparent. There's a lot of suffering
28:05
in our society. And how do
28:09
you engage meaningfully without overwhelming
28:13
yourself in all the needs and and, like, flurrying around, we've
28:17
gotta do something, and and burning yourself out in the process?
28:21
Are there some practical ways that you could suggest that we can engage
28:24
without that overwhelm, seeing that one person in front of us?
28:29
To be honest with you, Wendy, I don't have any social media, and I don't
28:33
ever look at the news because I know of the overwhelm.
28:37
Mhmm. And, yeah, you look around you, and it can be really easy to
28:41
get disheartened, especially driving down certain streets
28:45
in the city and even just kinda listening
28:48
to the way that some some areas of our,
28:52
community are going. But you had mentioned this before,
28:56
and I wanna just echo what you said that we aren't the savior.
29:00
We aren't the ones that are meant to swoop in and save the
29:03
day and have all the answers.
29:07
That's been a big learning for myself. Something I've learned a lot is
29:11
that we don't have all the answers and that
29:15
we actually can't have all the answers because otherwise, you kinda take that
29:18
away from individuals who need to learn and
29:22
grill themselves. And the community has a lot of
29:25
resources. We're not a a one man island
29:29
here. We're not just a lone island. We're we're trying to reach the
29:32
community and gather the people that are willing and wanting to help.
29:36
And so to realize that it's just not on you. Right.
29:41
You personally can do so much. But when you try to take
29:44
on needs of the world, you're gonna get crushed. Yeah. Because it was
29:48
never our place to take on the needs of the world. And it really
29:52
becomes, what has God called me to do? How does God want
29:55
me to respond to this? And it's
29:59
not a failure or a deficit to say I need
30:03
help too. So if God has called me in such a way to be
30:06
relationally present in this way, who else do we need to invite to the table?
30:10
Who what village do we need to create, to create
30:13
belonging and wholeness and and and support an individual
30:17
who self identifies certain things as people going through
30:21
when I'm in vulnerable situations, there's a sense where I
30:24
think I know what I need or I what I need to advocate for.
30:28
I don't want people just telling me what to do, and I'm gonna fix
30:32
you. It's listening to that individual. They are part of
30:36
the the pathway forward as well. But looking to
30:39
the greater community, it takes a lot of humility. Now talk to
30:43
a church, that is part of that is
30:47
situated in area that is there's government, there's schools, there's
30:51
nonprofits and businesses that aren't necessarily
30:54
faith aligned. How do you do that? You're you're doing that.
30:58
What does that look like for you, as you're developing Fort Garry Collective?
31:03
I think at the core of it, you gotta remember that
31:06
we're both trying to love the person. And
31:10
when you take the person out of the equation and you just see maybe the
31:13
circumstance and the problem, it can be easy to have your differences with
31:17
different people you're walking with or different organizations. But when you come down
31:21
to it and you remember like, oh, no. Our main purpose here is
31:25
to help the individual and to care for them and to love them.
31:29
For myself, I see that I see that God is at the center of that,
31:32
and I know that's not what everybody sees. And I would never wanna force that
31:36
upon anyone as something that I think is what
31:40
they need to see. But when you can both agree that
31:43
the individual that you're walking with, that you both have their best needs,
31:47
then it makes it a lot more beautiful to walk with them. And the
31:51
differences will come up, but that's okay, actually, because people are unique,
31:55
and people have different amazing, yeah,
31:59
resources. And it allows actually all these
32:02
different individuals that maybe have different takes on things to come together
32:06
and to work together. And there's gonna be differences, but to
32:09
realize when you're you're like, no. It's not about me and what I
32:13
think. It's about what that individual needs and how can we actually
32:17
help them and walk with them. That's a tough line to
32:20
walk. But one, when everyone is on the same page that it's about that individual,
32:25
then that's the way you go forward, which is not always the way it
32:29
happens, but it's the way you hope you hope you move forward and walk with
32:32
it. Thanks so much for sharing your story, Emily. Before
32:36
we let you go, though, do you have a a challenge for our
32:40
listeners for this week? Something practical that they can take into this week
32:44
to be better present with others around them.
32:48
This is kind of a twofold. I would love,
32:52
and this is a challenge for myself as well, for
32:56
everyone to maybe stop being so
33:01
self aware of themselves when they're walking up to someone or approaching someone,
33:05
and and actually taking their eyes off of themself and looking
33:08
at the individual and not being concerned with our discomfort, but actually
33:12
being like, I wonder what how they're uncomfortable.
33:16
And then also, if we lived out of how loved we
33:20
are. And I talked about this in my sermon, but it's like,
33:23
man, if we actually knew how loved we are and how
33:27
much life is worth it, wouldn't we wanna share that with
33:30
others? And wouldn't it actually be a lot easier to step out of our comfort
33:34
zone because we knew how loved we were? And we knew,
33:39
yeah, how good it felt to be loved, and we want others to experience that
33:42
as well. So that that's my challenge to to live out of how
33:46
loved you are. That's great. Do you have any links you
33:50
wanna share with the listeners for them to visit if they wanna hear more about
33:52
the Fort Garry Collective and stuff that you're doing? We're still
33:56
working on getting our website up. But if you want
34:00
to go on to, anchorpointchurch.com, and you can kinda
34:04
follow what's going on in the community and in the church. And
34:08
then once the Fort Gary collective website gets up there, it will be linked
34:11
on to that website, and you guys will be able to follow along the different
34:15
events we're doing or the different opportunities that come up and just
34:19
really hearing stories and seeing, yeah, how
34:22
we're living and walking with our community. And if you'd like
34:26
to hear more about Emily's story, her heart, I would like
34:30
to also include, Johan, a link to the sermon that she
34:33
preached just several weeks ago that, will challenge
34:37
you in a good way. It will warm your heart. It will want you to
34:41
to seek more of God in community. So thank you so much,
34:45
Emily, for for being here today. Thank you. It was
34:49
a joy. Alright. Now it's time for
34:52
Care lingo. Wendy, you sent me this word this
34:56
week, and I had no idea what you were sending me. So,
35:01
I had I had a few thoughts that came to my mind when I when
35:04
I got sent this word incarnational. Incarnational.
35:08
Like, is that even how you pronounce it? You you got it right. I I
35:12
loved how you first thought it was incarnational. And I'm like, you have
35:15
not heard this yet, but I was sitting in Toronto. I was at these meetings
35:19
in Hamilton, actually, and they were talking about incarnational ministry. And
35:23
I'm like, oh, Johan's gonna love this one. This will be great for
35:26
Carelingo, but I thought you would know this one. Yeah. I I don't You're a
35:30
Christian boy. Yeah. My dad's a pastor, but I I don't think
35:34
he's ever used this term before. So two thoughts
35:38
that came to my head. The first was obviously, like, the root
35:41
word carnation. My wife loves
35:45
flowers, but she hates carnations. So this might be something, you know, when you
35:48
walk into a flower shop, you're getting a mixed a
35:52
mixed bouquet of flowers. And they'll say, do you want this to be a
35:56
incarnational bouquet or or not?
36:00
Do you want carnations included in this mixed flour bouquet? And
36:04
I would obviously say no because my wife doesn't like them. So
36:07
incarnational. The other one that came to mind
36:11
now okay. So this would be someone that, you
36:14
know, is temporarily trying to just eat
36:18
meat. You know, like, I'm in carnivore mode.
36:22
It's like I tried being a vegetarian, but I smell the bacon. Now
36:25
I'm fully incarnational again. Like, I am all in on
36:29
meat right now. I mean, that's me perpetually anyway. I'll I'll never be a
36:33
vegetarian, but, you know, incarnational. Fully in on
36:36
meat. Emily, do you have any thoughts of what first of all, have
36:40
you heard the term before? And if you haven't, what would
36:44
you think it means if you heard it? I have never heard
36:48
this term before. Oh, Wendy. It's for two. It I think
36:52
you guys are just younger than me or something. Wendy I think Wendy made it
36:55
up, actually. But Help me out, guys. Listeners, if
36:58
you've heard it, put it in the, respond to us on Facebook.
37:02
Oh, man. Incarnational. It it sounds like it and maybe this
37:06
is just me because my mind always goes to plants as well there,
37:09
Johan. But I just think of plants and in
37:13
nature, incarnatural. But I I don't know. That's just where my
37:17
thoughts go. It sounds like a beautiful word, but it sounds like a beautiful made
37:20
up word. Yeah. What's so what what's your made up word mean,
37:24
Wendy? It is not a made up word. It's in community development Christian
37:28
ministries when it's it's around incarnate, like, in
37:31
the Latin word in in flesh. So God moved into the neighborhood,
37:36
kind of idea. What does it look like to embody
37:40
Christian values and ministry in community with
37:44
people? That is incarnational ministry.
37:48
I didn't realize it was so weird, but you put me in a group of
37:51
geeks like me. It's just vernacular. And,
37:55
there you go. Incarnational. It's like
37:59
being in presence. Present it's
38:02
being present in community, doing ministry, living out
38:06
ministry with others in a very community
38:10
way. Okay. That sounds a little bit more familiar. I've used the
38:14
term incarnate, but not incarnational
38:18
or incarnational. I already forgot how to pronounce it.
38:22
Well, there you have it, incarnational. Even if it's made up, we are
38:25
all educated on, new words made by Wendy, but
38:29
probably not. Yeah. Alright. Until next time, remember to stay
38:33
curious.
38:38
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