Latest / The Lila Rose Show / E10: Purity Culture, Joshua Harris, and More

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E10: Purity Culture, Joshua Harris, and More · The Lila Rose Show

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Hey everybody, Lila Rose here. This is the Lila Rose show and
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we are in for a episode that I promised to do for actually a
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few weeks now on the topic of purity culture.
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Purity culture in the context of the book by Joshua Harris, I
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kissed Dating goodbye. My comments and thoughts on
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that, what is good, what is bad, and also some of the recent
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revelations coming from Joshua Harris.
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I'll talk more about who he is, why it matters in a few moments.
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But before I do that, I do want to talk about what has happened
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in the last week. There has been some really bad
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news in the last week, heartbreaking news.
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You know about it. It is the mass shootings.
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There have been three of them. One of them thankfully only took
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the lives of a couple people, but horrific to take the lives
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of any people. The that was in Gilroy, CA.
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Then there was a mass shooting in El Paso, TX which killed 22
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people. Horrific.
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And then the mass shooting just hours later that same day or
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early the next morning, Sunday morning at 1:00 AM, a shooter
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who killed nine people in Dayton, OH outside of a bar.
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So really awful news. The Gilroy Garlic Festival
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shooting really hit close to home for me because I am from
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that area. I'm from San Jose originally.
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Gilroy is not far from there. I grew up going and visiting
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Gilroy. I have friends who would go to
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the Gilroy Garlic Festival. I actually had family members
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who were considering going to the Garlic Festival that day,
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the day that the shooter came and just destroyed the innocent
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lives of this young boy and others and harmed so many more.
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So it really was close to home for me and I think a lot of
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people are wringing their hands and they're saying why, how,
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what does it mean? It's so disturbing, it's so
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scary. And there are many others that
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are pointing the finger and saying this is the fault of X,
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this is the fault of X. We want to find out why it's
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happening and how to stop it. If you look at the media or if
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you're on Twitter and I'm on Twitter, fair amount, I was on
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Twitter Fairmount last weekend, there are a lot of politicians
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and pundits and news reporters and activists pointing the
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finger saying this is the fault of acts.
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And first of all, I want to say I think there are many factors
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for the reason that we are seeing these horrific mass
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shootings and that this increase in mass shootings.
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I think we have always had mental health issues in our
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country. I think that's a human problem.
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We've always had guns in America and we've always had radical
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politics or fringe beliefs, but we're seeing it.
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These problems seem to be combining and increasing and
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there are other elements too to now we have this fever pitch of
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the problem of these mass shootings.
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I want to say two things. One thing I really don't like
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seeing that I think is really bad and to fight divisive right
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now. And then what I think we should
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be looking at instead when it comes to the problem in this,
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this horror of mass shootings, first of all.
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But I don't like, I do not like it when I see leading
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politicians point the finger and say that literally the reason
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that the shooter did what they did is because of the
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politician. I don't think there is evidence
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for that. I think that that is very
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harmful and very and creates a lot of hatred and anger on both
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sides. I think it is disingenuous.
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If you look at the shooter in El Paso, for example, who left
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behind what we believe is a manifesto, they're still getting
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information on it. We don't know about his mental
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health history. We don't know about this young
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man's background. We're still learning about that.
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Details are forthcoming. But it appears he wrote this
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manifesto. It appears that he had beliefs
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that he as a white was a was a supremacist or he believed in
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this white nationalism and he also wanted population control.
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He hated big corporations. But his philosophy that he
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shared is now being pinned on. Or there are some very powerful
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politicians, Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren and others who
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are saying that this is all President Trump and President
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Trump created this monster. I think that's really bad to
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say. I think monsters existed and
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mass shooters and white supremacists existed long before
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President Trump. And I think that President Trump
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would say passionately, I'm not a white supremacist, I don't
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believe in that. And he has a lot of different
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races and and ethnic groups that support him and that he employs
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and that work with him and alongside him.
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So I think it's just a really toxic thing to do in politics.
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I think it's equally toxic when the right accuses the left of
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things that are beyond their fault.
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I mean, for example, the Dayton shooter, the Dayton, OH shooter,
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So just hours later, who shot up the bar in Dayton, OH, He was a
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self-proclaimed leftist and an Elizabeth Warren supporter.
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You can go to his Twitter and now I think it's deactivated.
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But he was a hardcore leftist. And to say, OK, Elizabeth
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Warren, it's your fault that he did this.
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I mean, we don't know. Again, his mental health
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history. He did not leave behind a
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manifesto. So that is it.
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That is a key difference. But to say that somebody
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identifying with fringe politics or even identifying with
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politics period, is the reason for them committing acts of mass
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violence, I think is really dangerous ground to tread on and
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less that politics that they identify with.
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It would be different if President Trump was saying to
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kill immigrants or to kill people that weren't white or to
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do terrible things like that. But he hasn't said that, of
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course. And to pin again, violence on
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one side or the other, unless those those politicians are
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actually calling for specific violence or calling for acts of
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aggression, I think that's a really, really, really toxic to
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civil discourse and to actually solving problems.
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So that's the thing I don't like, I don't like when we
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oversimplify. I don't like when we blame and
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pin. And I see this especially
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happening on the left, but it happens on the right to this
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pinning the faults of an act like this on an entire political
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party or individual. And I think what I want to say,
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what I think's going on here is there are so many factors
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involved. I think we can't, it's
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impossible to say it's the fault of one thing.
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I think some of the factors include mental health crises in
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our country that's gone unchecked.
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I thought the Wall Street Journal did a great article on
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this talking about how we used to institutionalized those that
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were mentally ill and that has a whole host of its own problems.
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Meaning put them into mental asylums, basically places to
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keep them safe from danger to themselves or others.
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Again, there are a lot of abuses with that too, but we have a lot
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of the mentally ill in our country roaming about that need
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serious help and are getting the help that they need and deserve.
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I think that's one part of it. I think another part of it is
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the breakdown of intermediate structures and natural
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structures, like the family people that don't have intact
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families, they don't have loving families that take care of them
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and look out for them to help form them.
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I think that's a breakdown of the family problem that creates
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a lot of violence and chaos. I think also our lack of moral
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formation. People understand how sacred
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human life is. I think that's an element.
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I do think that the media and just a lot of this, you know,
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firing up of controversy and division also can fuel a lot of
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anger and frustration. So there's a lot of and and then
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of course there's questions of our gun policy.
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There's just a lot of factors here.
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We're not going to deep dive in today.
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I want to get to the topic of purity culture, but it deserves
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a lot of conversation. I will be addressing it in the
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future. I did want to mention this
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though, because it is so raw and because I just hate seeing the
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finger pointing when I don't think it's fair and we still
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don't have all the information. I think we have to be really
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careful about that because I think it creates more problems
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than it solves. All right, I've said my piece on
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that. Let's pray for the souls of the
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victims. Pray for their families, pray
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for an end to the violence and personally commit ourselves to
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building strong families. Being I'm personally
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recommending myself, I'm going to be the best wife I can be,
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the best mom to my baby that is going to be born in a few
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months. I want to be the best sister.
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I want to be the best daughter I can be, the best friend I can
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be, the best boss I can be. I want to be the best neighbor I
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can be and be solicitous and caring of those in my community,
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those that are in need and suffering.
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Let's all do that. I think that's the number one
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way to help rebuild and restore the those structures that are so
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necessary for a healthy society, like families, like schools,
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churches, communities. All right, so to the topic now
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of purity culture. What is purity culture?
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Let's just define this really quick.
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If you're an evangelical listening or maybe even you're
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Catholic or depending on your faith background or how in you
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are in this kind of this sort of maybe subculture in our country,
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purity culture is this idea the of being pure before marriage,
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avoiding sex, trying to keep for your virginity or committing to
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2nd virginity. I think some of these principles
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are just wonderful. I think they're really good.
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I think that purity culture can be taken to an extreme that can
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be unhealthy. I'll be talking about that in a
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moment, but this is in the context of recent revelations
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about Joshua or by Joshua Harris.
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Who is Joshua Harris? Joshua Harris is the author of
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the book I Kissed Stating Goodbye, which was a best seller
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really over the last 20 plus years.
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He wrote it in the late 90s and he was very young at the time.
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I think he was only 19 or 20. And Josh Harris is actually
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somebody in some ways I'm acquainted with because I I'm
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actually more acquainted with some of his younger brothers,
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but I grew up in some similar circles that the Harris brothers
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did. I think he's one of four
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brothers. And this was the homeschool
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debate world. Yes, I was homeschooled.
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Yes, I did homeschool debate, which I actually absolutely
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loved. Speech and debate where we would
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travel around as high school and junior high students, the state
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and even the country doing these competitions, speech and debate
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competitions. And the Harris brothers were
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involved. So that's kind of how I was
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acquainted with them. And the book I Kissed Stating
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Goodbye was one that a lot of my peers were reading or, or knew
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about because it came out. I think I was really young in my
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teen years when it came out, but my mother gave me the book when
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I was probably 15 or 16, maybe I was 14.
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I don't remember. And I remember reading it and I
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thought I had some really good points, but it didn't make a
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huge impact on me at the time. I was going through my own
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exploration of my own faith and what did I really believe and
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what was the what was the truth about religion or about God and
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me and purpose, which is conversation for another day.
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But I thought it had some good points and what did the book say
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so I can stating goodbye again written by this, I think 20 year
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old kid at the time. And it was basically this, this
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proposal of instead of dating, people should do something
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called courtship. And the reason for that was
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because dating set people up for failure.
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And dating set people up for sexual failure, meaning they
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would have sex before marriage, because dating created all these
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temptations and people should be really serious about preparing
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to find their future spouse and finding that spouse.
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And courtship was the best way to do that.
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And courtship involved your parents and involved chaperones
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and it involved being really conscientious about purity and
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about your emotional and your physical purity.
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Meaning you are not pretending that the person was your spouse
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before they were your spouse, you were just getting to know
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them, etcetera, etcetera. OK, so why is this so
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significant that he wrote this book?
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Well, keep in mind this is the late 90s, early 2000s and back
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in the 50s, sixties, 70s in America, some earth shattering
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stuff happened culturally and it was called the sexual
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revolution. So in many ways I think I keep
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stating goodbye is a reaction to the sexual revolution our in our
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country which was an upending of certain more moral structures.
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So you may have heard of the sexual revolution, but think
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Playboy Bunny, think Sex in the City, think the swinger culture.
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Meaning you can be married but you don't need to be faithful to
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your spouse, or think you don't even need to get married to have
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sex. Marriage is this antiquated
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structure you can choose to be part of if you want, but sex is
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not something that is a moral decision that shouldn't have all
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these moral structures around it.
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And instead people should have sex and enjoy it and do it in
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however what way they want and be free to love and and why all
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these rules, these puritanical rules.
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And so this kind of free love movement was also connected to
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the feminist movement at the time.
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It kind of actually hijacked, I think the early feminist
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movement. There's this really great book
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by Sue Ellen Browder called Subverted How the sexual
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revolution hijacked the Woman's movement.
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Highly recommended. I actually did an interview with
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the author Sue Ellen, which you can find on liveaction.org's
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website. But it deep dives how the sexual
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revolution was supposed to was was claimed that it would
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empower women, but it didn't and instead it was this
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pornographers dream. You know, play Playboy, Hugh
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Hefner and Playboy was all about enjoy sex and don't have any
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rules associated with it. No rules, no rules.
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Well, what ended up happening after the sexual revolution is
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divorce rates spiked. We saw the STI rate sexually
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transmitted infection spike, we saw unintended pregnancy spikes.
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We saw a lot of cultural dissatisfaction around
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relationships and sex. And I think the fallout from it
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was really bad because when you get rid of all sexual laws, you
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could say, or morals, you're not.
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You're not just doing away with something arbitrary, you're
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doing away with the truth about what sex is designed for.
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Sex is designed to bond to people lifelong, and sex is
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designed to be open to life, to be able to bring humans into the
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world, new souls. I'll talk about this more soon.
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But the bottom line is this actual revolution, I don't think
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it did anybody any favors. So Joshua Harris entered.
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Joshua Harris, homeschool kid who's really smart, you know,
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could pull up a book at age 20 or whatever, Really talented
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young man. And he's looking at just the
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unhappiness and the dating culture, which has turned into
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the hookup culture. I mean, people having sex,
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people not being really happy, people not really committing and
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getting married. And so he's like, let's get rid
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of it. Let's just get rid of it.
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Let's go and do this thing called courtship.
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So there's the phenomenon, there's the big the big thing
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that happened. So what about this I think is
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good and what is bad, first of all, and I think that it is good
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to say that the sexual revolution did not do us favors
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and that dating and sex are not just these things that we get to
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decide how they're done and there's no consequences and it's
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not a big deal, whatever. I don't believe in hooking up.
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I think the hookup culture is very harmful.
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I think this whole Sex and the City ideal of you can just go
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out with a guy and have sex and the next morning you can just
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get up and go about your life and you don't, it's no big deal.
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I think it is a big deal. And I think I think the
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experiences of women actually tell us and men tell us that you
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don't feel good after a hookup. You, you wonder, you know,
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there's a sense of shame sometimes.
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Is that shame bad? No, I think it's, it's, it's,
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it's our conscience, it's our our psyche telling us something
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was wrong about that. And I think that the dating
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culture of like, you know, just kind of ongoing dating and you
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don't really know where it's going.
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There's no intention. What's the purpose?
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I think that's really harmful. I think that we should date with
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intentionality and it should be focused on what's the end game
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here? The end game is to discern with
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another person if you are called to marry them and choose to
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marry them. I did a whole episode on this on
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dating 6 principles for dating. It was one of my first podcast
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episodes. Recommend you check it out if
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you want to know more thoughts on dating specifically.
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So I think that Joshua Harris is trying to respond to this.
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I think that there's elements of his response that were
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excellent. I think that it could maybe go
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too far. I don't think all dating is bad.
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I think if dating is intended towards marriage and that is how
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it's purposed that we're trying to figure out, is this the
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person we want to be with the rest of our lives?
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And I think if we are working towards respecting them and
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trying to be pure, meaning we're not wanting to use them sexually
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or emotionally for that matter, that we understand that sex is
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designed for lifelong bonding and intimate love.
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And it's designed to be open to life, to children.
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And so we don't have sex with someone unless we're married
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with them, unless we're married to them, period.
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And if we have made mistakes in our past, then we just don't do
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that in the future. We change.
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We change the way we behave in the future.
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And it's not to shame. This is not because sex is bad.
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This is not because sex is in any way the body is bad.
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In fact, sex is amazing. The body is so good.
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It's because these things are so good that we want to be.
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We want to be careful with them and we want to treat them with
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the carefulness and the intentionality that they deserve
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and we deserve. So I think that this idea of
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courtship, elements of it are just like responsible dating.
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Basically, you could have just said I kissed irresponsible
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dating goodbye. I kissed the hookup culture
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goodbye. I kissed the sexual revolution
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goodbye. I kissed whatever.
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Goodbye and say hello to intentional dating and hello to
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true love, loving the other person that you're dating with
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respect, meaning I don't know if I'm supposed to marry you.
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I don't know if you're the right one for me, but I'm getting to
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know you. So I'm going to treat you with
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respect and that means restraint.
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I'm not going to just say having sex with you and bonding myself
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with you in this powerful way or actually getting pregnant with
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you. Instead, I'm going to respect
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you and myself and I'm going to respect my future spouse.
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I think another problem with or another issue with Ike and
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stating goodbye and with this purity culture concept, which I
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don't think was Joshua Harris's intention at all, but I think
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that it created this problem for some people where they're like,
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OK, got it. If I'm going to kiss, if I just
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kiss dating goodbye, if I just don't have sex before marriage
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or I'm going to be a second born again virgin, whatever you call
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it, you know, there's different, I guess phrases for it.
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Then my life's going to be good. I'm going to meet my Prince
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Charming or my, my dream girl and I'm going to be super happy
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and it's going to be happily ever after.
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Well, the reality is it doesn't always work out that way.
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In fact, you can be a virgin and still be a virgin at 36 years
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old and not married and be looking around thinking what the
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hell? What, you know, excuse my French
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here, but what the what the what though?
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I mean, really, it's like, feels like hell for some people.
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Like what is going on here? I wanted to be married.
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I wanted to be having, you know, a few kids by now.
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And I tried to do the right thing.
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I tried to do the good thing and it wasn't good enough.
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It didn't work. Or maybe they got married and
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things are not going good in their marriage.
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Maybe they got married to someone that they courted, so
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they didn't have sex before marriage, but then they find out
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that the person they married has a sex addiction or there's some
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serious issue in their marriage and they are, you know, they're
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like, well, shoot, I want to get a divorce.
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Or maybe they get married and they struggle with infertility
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and they have some other big issue and they're not able to
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have kids naturally, biologically.
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Listen, life is not fair. No matter how good we may try to
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be, there are going to be trials and challenges in our life.
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And I think this idea of purity, prosperity gospel, that if we
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are somehow pure enough, our life will be prosperous.
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I think it can be very dangerous because Christians are promised
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by Christ that we will experience trials and
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tribulations and temptations in this world, but that he who
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perseveres to the end will be saved.
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So we have to persevere and that this is not our home.
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Our home is eternity and it's heaven.
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And that there will be hardships in this world even when we're
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trying to do what's right, even when we're trying to pick up a
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cross and follow Christ and live by his law.
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And so life can be very hard and it can be very unfair.
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But God did not promise us a pain free life.
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And also God is not a soda machine where we put in some
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dollars or some cents and we select the soda that we like and
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we push the button and we get it because we put in the good deeds
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of our dollars or we put in our, you know, our $0.10 of purity or
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whatever our virtues were. And so we expect to get the soda
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can that we selected. I mean, God is not a magic genie
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that we say we are going to be good and so we're going to do 3
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wishes and we're going to get what we asked for.
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You know, God is a father and God does answer prayer, not
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always the way that we expect, but he is changing us and
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working with us to help us become the men and women we're
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created to be. But that doesn't mean our life
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is going to be comfortable or easy or we're going to get
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everything that we want when we want it.
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I think it's such an important point for not just purity
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culture and dating and courtship, but it's a point and
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point for Christian life and it's important point for human
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life because human life is full of challenges.
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And we're not promised tomorrow. We don't even know.
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I don't even know if I'm going to be alive tomorrow.
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We don't. We're not promised that.
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But if you're a Christian, you're promised eternal
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salvation and eternal life with the God who loves you and the
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heaven where there is no more death and no more tears and
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there is no more pain. That's what we're promised
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salvation, but we're not promised a perfect life.
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And does this mean, I mean, someone's listening, They're
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like, OK, wow, OK. If so, if you're saying that
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trying to do the right thing doesn't earn you anything,
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what's the point? You know, I don't know if
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anyone's thinking that, but what is the point then?
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Well, listen, we do what's right because of love.
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We do what's right because of love, because we want to be
22:52
closer to God who is loved, and we want to be close to other
22:55
people who and, and to love them and to be loved by them.
22:59
And that includes doing what's right and treating them the
23:01
right way. That's the whole point of
23:02
morality. Morality is about love.
23:05
Sexual morality is about love. It's all about love.
23:08
And love sometimes can feel amazing and beautiful and
23:12
sometimes it can be very challenging and hard.
23:15
But the beauty of love is it carries us through all the
23:17
challenges of life, no matter what disappointments or pains we
23:20
face. And the beauty of living by the
23:23
law of love, which includes the moral law do not kill, you know,
23:29
do not covet, do not have false idols, but the positive law of
23:35
treat people with with love others as you would want to be
23:39
loved or as you love yourself. The positive law of see God and
23:45
other people and, and that includes how we view them not as
23:50
sexual objects for our use and our pleasure, but as as people
23:54
made it in the image of God and as if they're not ours to love
23:59
sexually because they're not, we're not married to them.
24:01
We're not committed to them lifelong, then respecting them
24:03
and not trying to use or abuse them for that.
24:06
So life is about love. Love has rules, but those rules
24:11
are meant to free us to be able to love more.
24:15
And I think that's at the heart of why dating with
24:18
intentionality is essential and why marriage matters and why
24:23
certain rules do matter. I want to, though, propose
24:27
something. I said I was going to offer
24:29
something that I think is the answer.
24:31
So these extremes of, you know, prosperity, purity culture.
24:37
Another element with courtship that was challenging that I
24:40
thought was extreme was this idea of including the chaperone
24:44
or how to getting the parents permission.
24:46
I do think our parents, especially if we have good
24:49
parents, faithful parents, they can be a real resource and a
24:52
source of incredible wisdom for us when we are looking and
24:56
dating and selecting us future spouse.
24:59
But I also think we got to take that with a grain of salt
25:01
because look, at the end of the day, we got to be the ones to
25:04
choose. We are the ones who are going to
25:06
be married to the person, not our parents.
25:08
They say the families marry each other.
25:10
Yes, there's some truth to that, but ultimately it's our
25:12
decision. We have to do it freely.
25:15
And if it's not a free choice, it's not, you know, that then
25:18
it's not really love and it's not really a, a true marriage.
25:21
It has to be done freely. And I think the response, the
25:26
bigger response to the purity culture and to Joshua Harris's
25:33
book is not, it is, is bigger. It's bigger.
25:37
And I am excited to share it because I think it is hugely
25:44
powerful and beneficial and has changed my life.
25:48
And it is something called theology of the body.
25:51
Some of you may have heard this term theology of the body.
25:54
It's a kind of a new term in the last 30 ish years.
25:58
It was proposed by Saint John Paul the second, a Pope, Pope
26:03
John Paul the 2nd. And it's not something new in
26:07
the sense that it didn't it it's, it's, it's kind of coming
26:10
up with some new theology. It's something that is, I think
26:15
it dates back absolutely to Christ.
26:17
You can find elements of it throughout the Bible, but
26:20
theology of the body, theology means knowledge of God.
26:24
You're learning about God and you and, and discovering God.
26:28
The body is our bodies, our physical bodies and what our
26:32
bodies can teach us about God and what our bodies can teach us
26:36
about humanity and our purpose as humans.
26:39
And that includes sex. So it's this really powerful
26:44
investigation that Pope John Paul the Second did into
26:48
exploring what the body has to say about God, the human body,
26:51
and what sex has to say about God.
26:53
Because we know marriage has a lot to say about God.
26:56
Jesus himself says this, and Saint Paul the Apostle says
27:00
this, that Jesus's love for the church is like marriage.
27:03
It's marriage is actually like Jesus's love for the church
27:07
where a husband lays down his life for his wife.
27:09
He's called to do that like like the way that Jesus laid down his
27:12
life for the church and the wife is called to love her husband
27:16
the way the church is called to love Christ.
27:18
But it's also the the very act of sex is a manifestation of
27:23
God's love. And that's because God's love is
27:26
uniting and sex is incredibly bonding physically and can be
27:31
incredibly bonding emotionally, spiritually, but it can also
27:35
create new life. And God is actually asking us to
27:37
be Co creators with him in sex and that our love, the love
27:43
between a married man and a woman who love each other, who
27:45
have committed to each other lifelong.
27:47
Can insects create a new human life as soul?
27:51
I mean, that's incredible. And it's saying a tremendous
27:54
amount about God's love for us and his Co create his creative
27:59
power. And then he's allowed us to be
28:01
Co creators with him as his children made in his image and
28:05
likeness. So theology of the body says
28:08
that sex is not only good, it's not only this biological
28:12
function that is good, but it's holy and it's beautiful.
28:16
And that is why we protect it so passionately as something for
28:21
the marriage, bad as something for marriage, and protect its
28:24
ability to bring life into the world as holy and sacred.
28:28
And that's why we respect the transmission of human life.
28:30
We respect new human life so tremendously because it is
28:36
really the work of God. And there's also a lot in
28:39
theology of the body about femininity and masculinity and
28:42
what that has to say and that how that's written into her
28:44
bodies. And think about it.
28:45
A woman receives a man into her body and a new life that's
28:51
created in her body that then grows inside her body into an
28:55
infant that then she then delivers.
28:56
I mean, that's crazy. But she's an active receiver in
29:00
that that's feminine. That's uniquely feminine.
29:03
Only women have the power to be mothers, and men are active
29:07
givers, which is uniquely masculine.
29:09
Only men have the power to be fathers.
29:12
And so sex itself is a representation of what the heart
29:15
of femininity and masculinity means.
29:17
It's the power to be another, the power to be a father, and
29:20
the power to receive as a woman new human life and the power to
29:23
give new human life and to create it together.
29:25
So that too is very, very important and powerful.
29:29
And this doesn't mean that if you are not able to have
29:31
children biologically, you're not feminine or you're not
29:33
masculine. Because even if you can't create
29:36
new life biologically, I think all men and women are called to
29:40
be in some aspect, a mother or a father, maybe spiritually or
29:45
emotionally to others and how they care for them and how they
29:49
help them grow. I mean, think about it.
29:51
We were all nurtured at some point by someone in our lives as
29:55
children to become the people we are now today, the men and the
29:58
women we are today. Our sign of maturity, really
30:03
what it means to mature as a man or woman is to then be able to
30:07
then turn around and invest what has been invested in us in the
30:12
next generation or in others who need that help, that formation,
30:15
that guidance, that mentorship. And so whether or not we can be
30:19
biological parents, we have that gift, or we can just be
30:24
spiritual parents in some way or another to others, I think
30:27
that's the sign of the maturity of an adult.
30:29
So these are all elements in theology of the body.
30:34
They tell us about the life, giving, unity and love of God.
30:39
I mean, God is a Trinity, he's a Holy Spirit, he's a God the
30:42
Father, he's God the Son, and they love each other, the
30:45
Trinity. Their love is fruitful because
30:48
the love between God the Father and the Holy Spirit through the
30:53
blessed and in human history was the Blessed Virgin Mary that
30:57
received a gift of the Holy Spirit and she actually
31:01
begotten, she Christ was begotten in her Jesus Christ.
31:04
So the Son of God. I mean, these are all really
31:07
rich things that are theology of the body can illuminate more for
31:13
us. And they tell us more about the
31:15
man between the love between a man and a woman and about the
31:17
incredible love of and beauty of marriage.
31:20
So we could talk a lot about this.
31:22
There have been hundreds, maybe thousands of books that were
31:26
written about this, and there have been so many speeches of
31:30
homilies and sermons given about this.
31:32
Highly recommend you do your own research on theology of the
31:34
body. But I think it's the answer to
31:37
the sexual revolution. I think it's the answer to the
31:40
confusion in our culture today around sex and marriage and
31:43
dating and all these things. And the root of it is this love
31:48
self, the, the, the person is self giving love to each other.
31:53
And marriage, the Marriage Act of sex is for marriage because
31:59
it is binding 2 souls together, specifically a man and a woman
32:03
and their ability to bring life into the world.
32:06
And that is a sign. It's a manifestation of God's
32:09
love and even the love of the Trinity.
32:11
Very profound, very beautiful stuff.
32:14
The book I want to recommend to you if you're a teenager that's
32:17
listening or a young person and it's like, hey, well, is there a
32:20
good book to read besides, I guess any goodbye that's not the
32:23
complete picture of theologically.
32:25
I love the book How to Find your Soul Mate without losing your
32:29
soul. How to find your Soul mate
32:31
without losing your Soul by Jason and Kristalina Everett.
32:35
They also talk about theology of the body in a really beautiful
32:37
and accessible way. And I really love an
32:41
organization called the Culture Project.
32:44
Check it out online Culture Project.
32:46
And if you're listening and you're like, oh, this is sounds
32:48
really good. How do we get this kind of new
32:51
kind of chastity talk or this is this richer presentation of of
32:56
what true love is and what marriage is?
32:59
How do we get it in schools or churches?
33:01
My friend Christina Barba, awesome woman, runs the Culture
33:05
Project and they go around the country giving talks to both
33:08
secular and religious audiences about these beautiful
33:12
principles. So highly recommend that.
33:16
I want to mention Joshua Harris's recent post.
33:20
As you may know, he actually came out and said he's
33:22
separating from his wife, which is really sad, and that he was
33:27
no longer sure if he was a Christian because the way that
33:31
he understands it to be practiced is not something he
33:34
can live by. And so many people saw this as
33:37
him totally denouncing his faith in Christ.
33:41
I'm hopeful. I think we need to pray for Josh
33:44
Harris. I mean, this was a very public
33:45
announcement he made. We don't know what's going on in
33:47
his soul. We don't know what's going on in
33:49
his life. I will say that the church that
33:52
he was a part of even involved as a pastor rat, I think there
33:56
were certain, there's certain fundamentalism that it, it
34:01
promoted, which I think is very harmful.
34:04
And there are certain doctrines theologically that it promoted
34:07
that I can understand perhaps if that's what Joshua Harris is
34:10
reacting against. And I also understand elements
34:14
of purity culture, which are saying, you know, if you've
34:19
messed up, if you've had sex before marriage or whatever,
34:22
then you are, you're bad. You're, you know, saying you've
34:27
given away your your body. So no, now you no longer have
34:31
this body to give away. I mean, this kind of absolutist
34:34
way to talk about sexuality that can be very harmful.
34:38
So I don't know Joshua's story. I don't know what he's reacting
34:42
against or responding to in his own path, but I would just
34:45
encourage him or if you know him and you're listening or Josh, if
34:48
you're listening that continue seeking.
34:51
I respect you for your search and your your your intellectual
34:56
honesty. And I do hope you will explore.
35:00
Continue to explore because the truth is out there.
35:04
I believe Christ is the way the truth and the life.
35:07
I think that there is a theology that is not in any way
35:12
contradictory of the human experience, the, the, the, the
35:16
holistic human experience or a theology that is coherent and,
35:24
and is true. I think that that is out there.
35:28
And I think that I think that we, we need to continue to
35:31
search and to continue to look. And when I became Catholic when
35:35
I was 20 years old, it was the, a huge marker in my journey and
35:39
in entering into what I saw as and what I, what I know today to
35:45
be the, the truth about how to practice the life of a
35:49
Christian. So that is a lot of other topics
35:53
for another day, because I could tell my conversion story or my
35:57
Catholic story. But whatever wherever you are in
35:59
your faith journey, where whatever you call yourself, keep
36:02
searching, keep looking, keep asking.
36:06
And if you are, wherever you are at in your journey when it comes
36:10
to dating, keep hoping, keep trusting.
36:15
At the end of the day, we are children of God and He loves us
36:19
and He wants good for us and He promises the best gift He can
36:23
give himself is himself more than any worldly good.
36:27
So keep searching for God because He will not disappoint
36:30
you. He will not disappoint you.
36:33
I hope this episode was helpful. I know it's a huge topic,
36:38
dating, theology of the body, purity culture, all of this.
36:42
But I am excited that I did an episode on dating already which
36:49
you can check out. And I'm excited that there is
36:52
more to talk about in the future on this.
36:54
I also encourage you to check out just type in theology of the
36:58
body online, type it into Google, check out what John Paul
37:02
the second said in his own words to give a lot of homilies or
37:04
sermons on this topic. If this was helpful to you,
37:08
please share it with a friend. That's the way the podcast
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37:20
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Thank you again all for listening and have a wonderful
38:00
rest of your day or your night. God bless.