Latest / Project You 2.2 / Carrie - The Hidden Weight You’re Carrying (It’s Not What You Think) Series: Clutter → Clarity → Capacity, Episode 1

Transcript

Carrie - The Hidden Weight You’re Carrying (It’s Not What You Think) Series: Clutter → Clarity → Capacity, Episode 1 · Project You 2.2

• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, friends, welcome back to Project U two point two.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Carrie Helmer, a life coach, former teacher of 31 years, mom of three boys, and someone who has spent the last few years just figuring out what it means to stop showing up for life and to actually feel it again, to feel present, to feel more joy, to feel like me again.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: This podcast is where we have real conversations about growth, identity, confidence, and what it actually takes to create a life that feels good on the inside and not just one that looks good on the outside.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: Today we're going to talk about something I think so many people are carrying, but not saying out loud or even admitting it to themselves.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: We're going to talk about the weight you're carrying, and I don't mean the number on the scale.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to think about this for a second.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever looked at your life and thought, why do I feel this heaviness when nothing is really wrong?
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: Because from the outside, your life looks fine, and on the inside, you have these feelings of being overwhelmed or maybe just cluttered, mentally exhausted, like your brain has 22 tabs open and none of them are fully loading, or like a snow globe that has been shaken up and nothing has settled.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: I've been working with someone recently, and there's a really good chance you're going to hear parts of yourself and her story.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Her life didn't suddenly become overwhelming overnight.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: It was building for years.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: She had a full schedule, a full house, a full mind, always something to do, someone to help, something to manage.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: And she was the one that people could count on.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: She was responsible, she was reliable, and she handled things.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: But then life added more.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: She lost her mom.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: And if you've ever experienced loss like that, you know it's not just grief.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: It comes in layers.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: It is memories, responsibility.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's filled with emotions, comes with decisions.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: And instead of slowing down, she did what so many of us do.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: She kept going.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: She stayed busy and she showed up for everyone.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: She stepped in for her dad and she just handled what needed to be handled.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you stay busy, it does help us have to feel everything.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: And so we look like we're doing okay, but underneath things start stacking, and you start getting that feeling like your life feels like a snow globe was shaking, and you just have everything all over, and there's so much, and slowly it starts showing up in ways that you don't expect.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so for this client, she noticed that her house started to feel more cluttered, her energy was dropping, she had gained some weight, and her mind and calendar just constantly felt overwhelmed.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: And so, like most people, she thought that those were the problems.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: She thought she needed to be more disciplined and she needed to get her house under control and she needed to lose weight.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: But that isn't it because what is actually happening is that she was carrying more than her life had space for.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: So sometimes the weight we gain isn't about the food.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's about the life that we are carrying.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: And your version might look different.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's not grief, maybe it's that you say yes to everything, that you feel responsible for everyone, and people rely on you and you don't want to let anyone down.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's this constant feeling of go, go, go, with no real space to stop.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: What we tend to do is we try to fix the surface.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: We organize the house, we start another plan, we try to be more productive, but nothing really quite sticks or works because we're trying to solve these symptoms without really digging and looking at what's underneath it.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: When your emotional world is full, your physical world reflects it.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's when clutter shows up, weight shows up, exhaustion shows up.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: These aren't discipline problems, they are capacity problems.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: So let me ask you when was the last time that you actually just sat in silence without your phone, no TV, no distractions, just you.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Most people avoid that.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: We get in our car and we turn the music on, or we make a phone call, we go for a walk, and I'm guilty of this.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: I put it my AirPods in and I listen to an audiobook.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: We always have noise going on around us because the second things get quiet, everything that we have been avoiding or pushing down starts to get a little bit louder in our heads.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: So I want you to hear that the answer isn't to do more.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: It is not to push harder, it's not to finally get it together, it is to create space.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't mean to do a 180-degree turn with your life, and it's way smaller than that.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: It looks like starting small, just saying no to something you would normally say yes to, or letting something sit for just a bit instead of rushing to fix it right away, taking 10 minutes to just sit, breathe, and think, and just creating just enough room to hear yourself again.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: The people that I work with don't need more information because they're very smart, they're capable, and they're amazing humans, and they've tried, but what they need is just some space because they need someone to help them sort through that noise without judgment, without adding more pressure.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: And something that's very important for us to understand is that this work isn't just about sitting in your past, and it's not about staying in the current problems.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: And even though we look at what's underneath, we get honest about what's been building and we don't stay there.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: Coaching isn't therapy and it's not about just processing, it's about moving and about asking, okay, what do we do with this?
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: Because at some point, once we become aware, we need some action.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, you just keep staying stuck in that same cycle.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: So we start with setting a small goal, some simple ones, some doable ones, the kind that allow you to start making and building some momentum.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: And then we look at your life and we look to see where we can create some space or take a step forward and to see what actually matters to you right now.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: And then you don't have to do this work alone.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: You have someone walk with you, someone who can see things that you don't always see when you're in it, someone who will hold you accountable, and not in this overwhelming way, but in ways that you feel seen.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: You have someone who believes in you, you have someone who isn't going to let you say stay stuck right there, but you just need some support, some direction, and someone who genuinely cares about your growth and your success.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: If something in this episode felt a little too close to home, don't ignore that.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: That awareness is where everything starts.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: And your next step is to decide that you're not going to stay there.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: If you're ready for that, go to www.projectu22.org to message me and set up a call.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: We'll walk through what's really going on and map out what your next steps could look like because you don't have to figure this out alone.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: Have a great day, and I will see you in the next episode.