Latest / The Pausecast / Ep. 80 Uplevel Your Resilience with Dr. Rick Hanson

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Ep. 80 Uplevel Your Resilience with Dr. Rick Hanson · The Pausecast

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Hi, I'm Rachel O'Meara. Author of pause, harnessing the
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life changing power of giving yourself a break.
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I'm excited that you're here today and joining me on the paws
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cast where I interview thought leaders in the world of raising
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our Consciousness, emotional intelligence and helping us
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really reach our potential for more information, you can go to
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my website, Rachel, O'Meara.com, and download my free guide book.
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How to turn earn out into thriving at work.
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Work. Well, hello everyone and welcome
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to the podcast. This is my podcast.
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I'm Rachel O'Meara and I'm here to speak with agents of change
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individuals, experts in their field, who are interested to
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help others become who they couldn't have imagined, a become
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and reach their potential through transformational change.
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And today, I am really excited. I am here with dr.
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Rick Hansen. Hi Rick.
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How are you? Rachel.
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I'm really good. And I already feel warmed by
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your presence sitting here. It's 8:00 in the morning Pacific
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time and I'm glad that you're feeling warm me too.
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And for our listeners, if you're not familiar with Rick, I want
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to share a little bit more about Rick and then we'll jump in.
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But Rick is is personally one of my favorite teachers.
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That's all you need to know. Now actually Rick Rick is a
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very, very accomplished A gist and author and one of the one of
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the people in from the human potential movement who really
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helped put on the map what it means to be mindful and from his
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from his bio really what you need to know I think is that
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he's he's an expert in his field.
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He's done many different talks, his books include the Buddha's
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brain which is my personal favorite resilient which is his
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most recent book out and hardwiring happened.
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Happiness. Just one thing and he's also
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working on a new book, which we're going to talk about neuro
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Dharma. It's a working title, and I just
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can't say, enough good things about you, Rick.
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So, you also spent some recent time away pausing in in Bhutan,
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India and will definitely get into that and, and we'll just go
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from there. I think there's so much more to
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say. But with that, I want to turn it
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over to you. Because one of the things that I
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think really works well with the pasta, As cast.
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It's a really start us out in the experiential and pausing.
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Would you like to lead us in one of your favorite activities?
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Okay, thank you for that and they'll be a little Silence from
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time to time so people can know that going in and they can also
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know of course that when we do practices of any kind, we're
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doing two things, we're engaged in some kind of practice, which
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might be utter receptivity, but we're engaged in a practice.
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And then we're also seeing Happens.
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And so we're kind of observing that a laboratory inside our own
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mind, in this particular practice has also with any
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practice, feel free to do whatever works for you best.
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It's really okay to adapt. My suggestions, this practice is
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related to the three-stage evolution of the brain to get a
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little geeky here and the ways in which the brain and the body
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help us to meet our needs or basic needs for safety
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satisfaction and connection. So that if we become
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Increasingly mindful of an authentic basis for relaxing and
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feeling strong and terms of a sense of safety.
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We can open more and more into a sense of peace and we can do
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similar things in terms of satisfaction and connection.
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So, I'll just kind of take us through that.
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So with regard to peace, which is where we'll begin the bottom
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up in terms of the brain stem. I invite you to take a couple of
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breaths, And let yourself relax and calm as you breathe.
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You can extend the exhalation a little which will naturally slow
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the heart rate and help calm the visceral core of your body.
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Being aware of the internal, sensations of breathing and your
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lungs and chest. Ellie and diaphragm.
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And feeling the fundamental going on, nests of living,
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feeling the natural innate vitality and strength in
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yourself. Calm, kind of strength.
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Being aware when it's true that you're actually.
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All right, now, You know. There may be challenges in the
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future but in this moment being aware that the heart is beating,
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there's enough hair to breathe and you can relax needless
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tension, vigilance and anxiety. To see what it's like to open
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into a growing sense of peace. And then letting the sense of
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easing peacefulness, whatever is genuine for you move, sort of to
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the background of the mind. And now let's focus more on
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contentment. It's perfectly.
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All right, to keep pursuing goals and we can do so on the
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basis of a feeling of enoughness already. so you might like to
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put your attention for a little bit on things you're grateful
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for Some of the many things that actually are going, okay, in
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your life, maybe even really sweet.
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Opening to a genuine sense of gratitude and gladness.
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You might think of times you've been in beautiful places,
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perhaps a nature in the Woods by the sea.
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Reps times, you've been with a pet?
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With friends and it just feels happy.
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Satisfying. And you can feel more and more
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what it's like to be content rather than disappointed or
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frustrated. seeing what it's like to feel an
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enoughness of contentment so that any unnecessary sense of
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driven notice Or Lac. Discontent can fall away as you
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rest in a sense of contentment. Now, letting that sense of
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contentment, move more into the background of awareness, along
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with an ongoing feeling of enough safety.
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He's and peacefulness in the background of your mind.
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And focusing more and more now on warm-heartedness on love
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connection. Is bringing the mind your own
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friendliness and compassion and kindness and loving this for
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others. Taking some moments may be
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breathing through the area of your heart or putting a hand on
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your heart. It can be sweet to bring to mind
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beings. Who appreciate you, your dog?
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Maybe your cat friends. It's whatever is true even in
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imperfect relationships. Focusing on the feeling of the
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connection that's already there. The friendliness for you, the
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appreciating of you, even the loving of you, the caring coming
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your way, what it's like, what is it like to feel in
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relationship with beings who care about you?
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even if they drive you crazy from time to time,
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You can get the sense of resting in warm-heartedness.
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So that unnecessary feelings of resentment can fall away.
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Feelings of hurt or inadequacy can fall away.
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Knowing that you can still address issues in relationships
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and there can still be old pain or pressure pain while still
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fundamentally abiding primarily in love flowing in and flowing
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out. And then in the final minute or
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so see what it's like to have a kind of global or integrated
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sense of peace and contentment and love.
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In a true sense as your home base as the natural resting
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state of the body, when it feels safe enough and satisfied enough
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and connected enough, the resting state, it's our home
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base. In which the mine in this home
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base is colored with a global sense that you can rest in of
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peace and contentment and love. Okay, it's perfectly fine.
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To continue to feel dropped into what I call the green zone of
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Peace, contentment and love. As we now move more into a kind
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of conversation and for me one of the real takeaway from all
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this Rachel is the realization that it's actually possible to
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live. In this life with a felt sense
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already of an enoughness of needs met.
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So, that is we Face challenges? We do so feeling already in the
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core of our being that there is a resilient well-being, that's
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our resting state and from which we can deal with life in a whole
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different kind of way. I love that.
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Thank you, Rick. I'm taking that in and thank you
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for the guided pause. You just LED.
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I I have a lot of questions about it too.
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Because right now I'm I am Avenue level set as you've
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shared. This is home-based the new home
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base and can you just because I love the behind-the-scenes look?
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And I know you are a fellow geek as you mentioned with, like me
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when you said that its components of the, the Triune
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brain and you just walk us through as we did that.
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And I'm a nutshell. What were we activating?
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That was different. I think it's so interesting to
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know the science behind and it as we understand what's going
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on. Yeah.
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Sometimes effective a little bit for us.
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Yeah, definitely. So in a weird way, it's
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sometimes easier to understand ourselves by first looking
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outside ourselves. So I want to use a classic
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example, from Robert sapolsky at Stanford from his book.
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Why zebras don't get ulcers and so I haven't read it yet.
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Yeah, yeah. Wonderful book about stress.
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I recommend it to everybody full of charming stories as well,
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because sapolsky went to Africa. Go to Africa, many months, a
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year to study primates, and other animals.
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So imagine that you're watching, animals could be your here, cat
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snoozing could be a zebra in the Serengeti Plains and at any
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moment in time animals, whether it's a zebra, or a human need to
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manage their needs. That's what living entails.
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We have to manage needs. What are ways of understanding
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or needs are different models of needs such as Maslow's
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hierarchy. And so, So forth a very
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fundamental model in biology and psychology.
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Is that essentially all animals, including us have three basic
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needs that cover a lot of ground.
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We need to be safe, satisfied and connected.
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In other words, if you know a shark is chewing on our leg
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safe. If we're hungry satisfied, and
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if we can't find a partner or if we've been abandoned by our
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band, our tribe, we're not connected.
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So those are our basic needs. When animals like zebras, are
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humans are cats feel. Those needs are met, they chill
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out. This is a fundamental bio
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hormonal. Immune nervous, psychological
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setting. I call it the green zone or the
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responsive mode in which there's a conservation of resources
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inside the animal it's not burning a lot of fuel it's not
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getting into trouble. It's repairing and Being from
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previous births of stress, and it rests moment to moment
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moment, zebra cat or a human in a sense of okay, safe enough,
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satisfied enough and connected enough with as the animal
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becomes more and more complicated in terms of the
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nervous system, including you and me, a pervading sets, in
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terms of those three needs in order of Peace, contentment and
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love. I'm using Umbrella terms to kind
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of simplify and organize a lot of material.
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But you can see the framework and the ways in which We manage
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those three needs is related to The Evolution as you said of
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those so-called Triune brain. The fact that the way in which
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the brain is like a house that was built from the bottom up in
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three floors, we have the more or less reptilian brain stem
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Topo Edge. I'm alien, subcortex on top of
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which the primate and especially human neocortex, which are
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Loosely related to in order, the management of safety and
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satisfaction and connection. Since what you, that's what you
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named the lizard, the mouse in the monkey, right, Iraq?
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He, that's right. Like, this are some hearts of
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us, right? And we can all relate, you know,
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there's kind of like a do, you know, a real fast kind of
18:16
watchful lizard inside us, you know, that on the other hand,
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when it's lying in the sun doing, lizard, push-ups rubbing
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its belly, rubbed it's pretty chill right standing with the
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inner Mouse is always looking for some cheese who Moved My
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Cheese and And yet, when it's chewing on that cheese, it's
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chilling out. It's okay, it's dry.
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It's going green, lights are for green and your dashboard.
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It has enough in the moment. Same with the little monkey
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inside a salt, it's looking for someone to hug.
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Where's my tribe? Am I attached or so that's
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material about attachment through social emotions like
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like embarrassment, or Pride or inadequacy or delight and joy at
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the welfare of others. So there are two when that
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monkey is being. Hugged or protected or knows
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where it's band is and its place in it.
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Then it shows that it goes to the green zone, that's her
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resting state then and that really is a biological resting
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state is not a new age, airy-fairy hocus-pocus Pie in
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the Sky. Yeah and it's great to think
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what is our human nature? Well, our deepest human nature,
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is the green zone because the resting state of a dynamic
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system, including the nervous system and the bodily systems in
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general, the resting state. Of a dynamic system, most
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characterizes it its home base. On the other hand, really
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briefly there is the red zone, the reactive mode, fight flight
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freeze. When we don't feel in our inner
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the core of our being that, there's an enoughness of needs
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met. So then terms of fear safety,
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people move into fear, anger, and helplessness.
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In terms of satisfaction in the Red Zone, we go to frustration,
19:56
disappointment, or addiction, or driven - and also.
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Terms of connection. If we go in the Red Zone, we
20:03
drop into a sense of Heartache, hurt resentment, grievance
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us-against-them rivalries. And the takeaway Point here is
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that it is our nature to be able to move back and forth between
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the green zone in the red zone, and there is a place once in a
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while for the Red Zone. But it comes with a lot of costs
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and the takeaway is that it's possible to meet challenges to
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protect yourself to pursue Big Dreams in terms of satisfaction.
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Action and a work through issues, with other people, while
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still resting in the core of your being within, an underlying
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felt sense of resilient well-being.
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That's pretty wild. And and knowing there's probably
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a yellow zone in there too. Right, where it's kind of like
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an analogy and you've said, you're getting red.
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I, yeah, I like any model is an over simplification, but
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honestly, we can feel the ways in which we're starting to rev
21:00
up. And the way I kind of think of
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it is that it's like we have got these three interconnected
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systems so one can start to go red while the other two are
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remembering. Yeah.
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And then the key is can the green ones?
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Kind of draw the other red system back or does the red
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system? In fact the two green ones and
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now more everything. Yeah, exactly.
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And and there's probably million times a day when I have a couple
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of those firing and read or number like pulling back a
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Greener and fighting to even be aware.
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But I should say two because that's part of it.
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And and, and the what's so powerful about what you're
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sharing is? We're all the lizard, The Mouse
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and the monkey, right? Our brains are basically
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evolutionarily from from those from our ancestors there and so
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when we have a lizard moment or are like, where's my cheese
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moment, then we are. I think more more kind and
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forgiving for ourselves and That is so important.
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As I know you and your work, you talk about the negativity bias
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and like why we do things like self beat up and that is not
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helpful that is not in service to and, you know, being being in
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your best self and in the green zone shall we say?
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Yeah, I think there are three headlines.
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First, accept yourself really important because of course, if
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we're not accepting ourselves including our inner lizard, then
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we're pushing In the red, right? So, accept yourself as you are
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realize. Okay, this is Mother Nature's
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plan and it's not totally perfect.
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And yet, we've inherited the gift of three and a half billion
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years of evolution. Really, I'd rather be out - my
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work day. I'd rather be a human than a
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lizard, a mouse or a monkey. Yeah.
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Yeah. And what I like about that.
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So we're when I've studied you in my graduate work at right,
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Graduate University with Bob and Judith Wright.
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One of the things I've learned is we have Stan a my lizard
23:01
moment. So if I feel like I'm having
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that lizard moment where I'm in a hijack, or I feel like my
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fight-or-flight is just like, full-on firing on all eight
23:09
cylinders and I can just tell myself and say I am having a
23:12
lizard moment right now and if I can be that aware, then I can
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kind of reset. And it just helps me bring back
23:18
myself to that green zone as you say and and like what a cool
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powerful tool because if I can just know, I'm a lizard, doesn't
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mean I'm crazy, or I got to stay in that zone, but it just helps
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me move into Think different. That's what I love about it.
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Oh yeah. Did you name the second
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headline? Which is get out of the Red
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Zone? Soon as you can, it's natural to
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go there, don't eating it. And that's what a lot of people
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do. They get trapped in the Red Zone
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part of it. Yeah.
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That part of it has to do with the brain.
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We get lost him. What I call the simulator, the
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default mode Network or really, the ruminator and wrong, good
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luck to ya. So really key Point recognize
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that as Sapolsky puts it about zebras.
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Most episodes of stress in the wild and quickly one way or
24:08
another, they're supposed to end.
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But humans, as we walk down the street, we brewed on things we
24:15
work are resentful cases against others.
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Massaging ourselves. We keep, you know, do you dick
24:25
not good? So, get out of the Red Zone,
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that's headliner to Good one. Yeah.
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And and that actually brings me to I think a really good point
24:34
that you make in resilient about the time that is needed to
24:39
really soak in an experience that isn't maybe - like a pot
24:44
like a positive experience. Can you tell us about that?
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Because I think this is so understated.
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I don't think a lot of people really realize this, you know,
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and it changes so much if you can actually allow yourself that
24:55
time. So, tell us a little bit about
24:56
that because there's one thing I think people can take away.
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From this time together and hopefully there's many things
25:02
you can take away, but I think this one is so key, it could
25:05
change your life. Thank you.
25:07
Well, it's really interesting how this is happening
25:10
organically, you're naming the third headline which is that we
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can grow, we can change for the better and we can grow, right?
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We can grow Psychological Resources inside us that help us
25:22
meet our needs better and better.
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So we can more stay in the green zone that way and also as we
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experienced needs, Matt and really take in those
25:31
experiences. We can hardwire into ourselves
25:35
as a kind of underlying sense of already feeling peaceful
25:40
contented, loved and loving. So here, we're talking about
25:44
learning, we're talking about changing the nervous system and
25:47
I don't mean multiplication table learning or memorizing.
25:52
You know. Some new update of this is
25:54
learning 2.0. Yeah this is this is emotional
25:57
learning. Send State learning, attitudinal
26:01
learning, motivational learning, spiritual learning, social
26:04
learning, the learning, that is healing and that shifts the felt
26:09
sense of you. As you go learning skills,
26:13
learning how to be more skillful with others and yourself.
26:17
So, that's the great opportunity.
26:19
And the question is, how to do it and this is where cutting
26:22
right to the chase. Bad news.
26:25
Good news, bad news, the brain is designed Over learn from bad
26:30
experiences, painful mild experiences even of irritation
26:36
stress. Worry and hurt those go right
26:39
in. There's a famous saying neurons
26:41
that fire together wire together, that's especially true
26:44
for negative experiences. One spot.
26:47
Won't, you know, once burned Twice Shy the way I put it is
26:50
the brain is like velcro for bad experiences but Teflon for good
26:53
ones and we all know what that's like.
26:55
So that's kind of goes back to that second Headline because the
26:59
brain has what scientists call a negativity bias.
27:02
It's like velcro for the bad. It's really important to pull
27:05
out of the red zone as soon as you authentically can and not
27:09
feed it because then you're just reinforcing those - tracks in
27:13
your brain, you're reinforcing, you know, an attitude of
27:17
fearfulness, and your Tatian exasperation and feeling, you
27:21
know, like a bad person even. Yeah.
27:23
And the other, you can include all of our side interrupt but
27:26
that can include all our stories, right?
27:27
All the things we think, We know about ourselves and why we're at
27:30
a certain way and things like that, right?
27:32
Yeah, that's right. And if you rehash those stories
27:35
neurons that fire together wire together, they're just hidden
27:38
laps around the track and the neurotic track, you're doing
27:40
laps are on the neurotic track and digging a little deeper each
27:44
time. You go around it.
27:45
Great. Thanks the good news.
27:48
Good news. On the other hand, you can do
27:50
what I call taken the good. In other words, as you're having
27:54
experiences that are opportunities for growth,
27:57
especially just in the The flow of your day realizing how to be
28:01
a little more skillful in running a meeting.
28:04
Recognizing that if you just shift your attitude about
28:07
something a little bit, you're not going to obsess about it so
28:10
much feeling calmer in your body.
28:13
Like when we went through that pause or when you take people
28:16
through mindful experiences, those are opportunities to let a
28:22
sense of calm, strength, and well-being, really sink in
28:26
feeling connected to another person, seeing A flower enjoying
28:30
a, you know, a cup of coffee or by the chocolate, whatever it
28:33
is, you're having experiences, you're having insights, even
28:36
perhaps very wise, insights into the nature of experience and the
28:41
radical transients, and permanence of each moment,
28:44
etcetera, etcetera. Whatever it is, you're having
28:47
opportunities to receive the beneficial residues of these
28:52
experiences into yourself, rather than having them wash
28:55
through your brain like water through a sieve while the crud
28:58
the Negativity bias Grudge gets caught every time so I'll talk.
29:02
I'm sure in a moment about the how to of this.
29:04
It's really incredibly simple. You just basically need to stay
29:07
with the experience opening to it in your body focusing on
29:12
what's rewarding about it. And each one of those three
29:15
things staying with it experiencing in the body,
29:18
focusing on what's rewarding about it is that kind of hack in
29:21
a sense, you can do, inside your own mind, which makes your brain
29:25
more receptive to the experience.
29:28
You're having At the time and more prone to converting that
29:32
passing experience into a lasting change of neural
29:35
structure and function increasingly hardwired into u.s.
29:40
so cool. This is cool.
29:41
Every time I hear that, I just blown away that.
29:44
Yeah, we can literally change our encoding of how we think
29:49
about things based on a positive experience and just soaking it
29:54
in. And is there a time frame?
29:55
Is there a recommended amount? Because I feel like we could
29:58
just Just flash of a pan. Kind of take something in.
30:01
Like, maybe I get a compliment today.
30:02
Someone says nice shirt, you know, or something like that and
30:04
I could cool thanks or yeah, you're not even listen, right?
30:08
But like what I need to do like let's just walk through with
30:10
what actually needs to happen to have that happen because I feel
30:14
like it's easy to say it. What do I need to do?
30:16
And I do and that's where I think the wheels might come off.
30:20
Yeah, great. So it's easy to learn a piece of
30:23
information or idea really quickly.
30:26
So sometimes there is a place For you know, remembering the
30:32
fact that somebody complimented you.
30:35
But if you think about it that doesn't have a limit, a lot of
30:37
impact, what has more impact is to open to the feeling of being
30:42
compromised? And as your opening to the
30:45
feeling of it, you help it kind of reverberate inside your
30:50
neural networks, long enough for it to begin, its process of
30:55
making a lasting physical change in your nervous system.
30:58
Mmm. So I want to really say there is
31:01
a place for developing new ideas, as you put it or new
31:04
narratives about ourselves, but that tends to be superficial,
31:08
you know, that's kind of the tip of the iceberg.
31:10
If you will, where real change happens in in the feeling of
31:14
being you, but back Crown ongoing feeling of being you
31:18
and, and trying to help become happier and more peaceful and
31:23
more loving, and develop a kind of inner peace in a profound.
31:27
And and pervading Which is to me the really the goal of the human
31:32
process and in end the possibility in human potential.
31:36
So if you want to do that, it helps to kind of focus more on
31:40
the emotional and sensory, or motivational aspects are
31:46
learning about what's a, what's healthy to want?
31:49
What's not so healthy to want. And how to how to Aspire without
31:54
attachment? You know, these are the kinds of
31:56
things that are really useful to to Grow with regard to to take
32:00
in. So the u.s. how long there's no
32:03
magic amount of time, generally die - experiences and or any
32:09
kind of idea, we can learn pretty fast.
32:11
If you want to take in though, the residues, let's say it
32:14
feeling. Complimented and feeling,
32:15
everything else that goes with that, close to the person
32:18
relieved. Oh, I don't look too bad after
32:21
all. It's mine, you know, whatever it
32:24
is, you're of worth stay with it for a breath, or two or long.
32:28
GE. That's the kind of stuff they
32:31
with it for a breath at least a breath and if and if you take my
32:34
advice half a dozen times a day to stay with a beneficial
32:39
experience of one kind or another Timmy we call me nuts,
32:42
half a dozen times a day or new experiences half a dozen that
32:46
which you can repeat the same one or just kind of As you move
32:49
through your day. You know, you look outside and
32:52
things seem like they're working and you just kind of relax and
32:56
you feel relieved or maybe you get something done.
32:59
Work, you know, and there's a sense of relief and
33:01
accomplishment, maybe you're just kicking it with friends or
33:05
coworkers over lunch, and it's kind of fun.
33:08
There's a friendliness where people laugh at your joke and
33:10
you realize, hey, they like me. I'm included, I'm part of this
33:14
group, each one of those maybe. There's a really special sweet
33:17
time with your partner, your child, your cat may be in a more
33:22
formal way moment of Grace or just gratitude for a meal.
33:27
You know, that's easy to do. Half a dozen times a day.
33:30
Finally. Yeah, we just have to remember
33:32
it. That's our that's right.
33:33
Brain. I guess is that you have to
33:35
remember to remember the most important for that?
33:38
Yeah, but well over time happens is you get drawn into it because
33:42
it feels really good. It feels authentic, it helps to
33:46
develop over time the resource of being on your own side.
33:51
Are kind of Scruffy gritty commitment to your own
33:54
well-being because then as you have more that commitment, you
33:58
realize. Wow.
33:59
Wow. I have a radical power to help
34:02
myself become who I want to be in the broader sense, including
34:07
the healing of old pain and the opening into beautiful new ways
34:12
of being. And in my own Essence, I can
34:14
help myself become who I want to be, no one can stop me from
34:19
doing that. No one can stop me from growing
34:21
a little bit every day from taking in the good a little bit
34:24
every day and no one can do it for me.
34:29
Yeah, that's what makes it that's right.
34:32
That's what makes it gritty. There's attraction and legs and
34:35
it's all real. Yeah.
34:37
Yeah, it's not Magic on the other hand.
34:39
It's sweet work. Because what are we talking
34:41
about? We're talking about orienting
34:43
to, what's beneficial, it's true.
34:46
In the flow of your day, papering over what's bad?
34:48
And problematic in fact as you grow, strikes inside resources,
34:52
inside, you're more able to see what's problematic in yourself
34:56
and in the world and do more about mmm boy.
35:00
I'm taking that and I'm soaking that into because that's as you
35:04
say that I'm reminding myself. Yeah.
35:06
Like I can I can make a difference today.
35:09
I can do what I need to do and feel okay about it and and focus
35:13
on what I want. And that's to me a positive
35:16
bias, I guess. And like that's just those
35:19
little moments where you can tune in like that.
35:21
So, that's just so helpful and I could shocking.
35:24
Can I see this goes? I was obviously this if you just
35:26
start doing this you say okay. Okay.
35:29
I'm going to try it. I'm going to try it for a
35:30
breath, I'll give it a breath. A breath is like around five to
35:34
ten seconds panting you knows if you're relaxed 5 to 10 seconds.
35:38
So you think okay I'm going to stay with this experience for
35:41
people, bruh. And it's so interesting.
35:43
It's just 10 seconds or less and you watch your mind skittering,
35:47
all over the place. We don't want to say there.
35:49
Yeah or even put. That's right.
35:51
Maybe you don't want to stay there or maybe just have a habit
35:54
of distraction and you realize wow how weird lire There it is,
35:59
this like, where, it's like, we're anorexic emotionally.
36:02
We're hungry deep down inside and, you know, we don't let
36:06
ourselves feed and take it in. Yeah.
36:10
And that would be my Paws challenge for all of everyone
36:13
who takes, who wants to take this on today, is to go out and
36:17
literally do that. What Rick you're saying?
36:20
Whatever next experience is, it happens to you positive.
36:22
You actually pause for those two breaths and or more and notice
36:26
what happens inside like it is nuts.
36:29
And cool exhilarating as well. I know it's like I think that's
36:33
one of the most powerful pauses of all.
36:35
In other words, there there's a place for pausing in order to
36:40
have nice experiences in the moment.
36:42
And I don't mean nice in a pejorative way.
36:44
I mean legitimately okay great there's a place for pausing so
36:48
that we can experience good things in the moment.
36:51
But the other question is what do you gaining from those
36:55
experiences in the moment? Are you gaining from them?
36:57
Are they sinking Ian, in any way, are they leaving lasting
37:01
changes behind, and if they're not leaving lasting changes
37:05
behind, you're not growing from them by definition, your yeah,
37:09
leaving all that money on the table, by all that money.
37:13
And I want to hit this home because it's, this is why when
37:16
you just read a book, like, even if it's your book, or are you
37:19
not doing actual application? Let's say, you reading reading a
37:22
book and you're like, God was a great book.
37:25
I learned so much but if you're not actually really processing
37:28
that noticing how Feel as you read it or thinking about how to
37:31
shape shapes you, it's not it's not going to be as impactful.
37:35
It might be even in a week or so.
37:37
Go away from what you really want.
37:39
And like that to me is so powerful and I feel like much
37:42
most of us don't realize that because no one tells us this
37:44
it's not like we were brought up to know that our brains can be
37:47
rewired, right? This is like yeah research.
37:49
So I just want to hit that home in that it does require
37:53
application and that is what you're so good at and sharing
37:56
and and I actually have a few stats on the brain because I No,
37:59
most of us don't really think about the brain too much and I
38:01
know you call it. The three pounds of soft tofu
38:04
like here. We are with robbery gray
38:08
matters, 3-pound brain but like this is, this is amazing.
38:12
There's a hundred billion neurons in your brain.
38:15
That's really big, right? So that's 10 to the millionth
38:17
power of connections, like 10 with a million zeros, 10 million
38:22
zeros. So think about that.
38:24
If you're wondering about how you can change your brain,
38:26
there's there's a lot of material to work.
38:29
And those three pounds and and I actually want to like this is
38:33
what my mentor do with right. Told me this summer was the
38:36
there's this, it's the it's one of the things that there's the
38:39
most known particles. Well actually the know the most
38:42
known particles in the in the universe is 10 to the 80 billion
38:45
neurons or something like that. So it's actually the most
38:48
complex thing known in the universe is our freaking brain
38:51
is kind of crazy. Let me if I could just yeah,
38:54
just stay there. So yeah, you like it's kind of
38:57
wild to kind of appreciate it right now, as We listen here,
39:00
the part of the body, the brain that we're talking about is
39:03
trying to figure out the part of the brain, the part of the body
39:06
that were talking about, right? So you've got a hundred billion
39:09
little neurons inside your head. As many as there are stars in
39:13
the Milky Way galaxy out there another trillion support cells
39:18
that are helping those neurons, do their job.
39:21
As you were saying, neurons, make thousands of connections on
39:24
average with each other. So there are several hundred
39:26
trillion connections. Each one of them is like a
39:30
little microprocessor a synapse inside your head.
39:33
Several hundred trillion of those microprocessors and just
39:38
like you were saying to the number of possible states that
39:42
the brain altogether can go into even if you were to really super
39:45
simplify it. And just describe each one of
39:48
those little synapses is like a switch that's on or off and it's
39:51
a lot more complicated than that is not just digital.
39:53
It's analog, right? That means that ballpark as you
39:57
said the number of Shal states in the brain, is 10 to the
40:00
millionth power, one with a million zeros and you know the
40:04
number of particles in the known universe is just 10 or just one
40:07
rather with a t 0 so that gives you a feeling for how craziness.
40:11
Yeah, I know and and you know, if I could drive this point
40:14
home, it goes back to something. You said earlier, Rachel about,
40:19
we have to do it. We can't just think about it.
40:22
We can't just read about it. We have to do it.
40:26
We have to practice and I just think that People routinely
40:30
realized that if they want to get better at running meetings,
40:33
or skiing, or golfing or making cupcakes, they've got to
40:37
practice, right? They've got a, we're get it.
40:40
It's in the same way. If you want to become happier,
40:43
stronger wiser, or loved and loving more peace, more capable.
40:49
You have to practice, you have to move through life, helping
40:53
yourself, learn and grow as you go.
40:55
And for me, that just goes to a whole bunch of old school.
40:59
All values or think of my dad growing up on a ranch in North
41:02
Dakota where you got to get up and focus and it's on you and
41:07
yet, deep down, no one can stop you, which is great when so many
41:13
people feel, so pushed around by so many things.
41:16
Yeah, so, so important. And in such a good reminder,
41:20
you've got a lot of material to work with, right?
41:22
That's the everyday isn't a big runs up when you don't have any
41:25
shortage there. Yeah, no lag, no lag, No Lack.
41:29
Yeah, yeah. So so I think that's just really
41:31
important and I want to ask you, I know you've been in this work
41:36
for years and you've written books, you're actually looked at
41:39
your website and you're in your CV.
41:41
And it's the longest most comprehensive to you've ever
41:44
seen in my entire life. You had just so much experience.
41:47
Like how did you get into all of this?
41:49
Because I think that's just fascinating, probably in itself.
41:52
I'm sure there's a story there. Well, thank you, and the short
41:59
version really of my life story. The really, really, really short
42:02
version is that maybe I could just kind of kind of Mark two
42:09
major Advance one or thanks. One was honestly, when I was
42:12
really young, probably, like you, I just had this background
42:15
sounds that I can recognize. When I look back at my earliest
42:18
memories, that people were just a lot more unhappy and stressed
42:23
than they really needed. To be, I had just had this
42:26
feeling of unhappiness, that was unnecessary in my family, and
42:30
the school yard watching the grown-ups hassle.
42:33
Each other stress bicker worry. I didn't realize, oh, oh, oh!
42:38
And I want to really validate what little kids know.
42:41
They often can't be. Can't put it into words at the
42:43
time, maybe ever, but they know and they're both true.
42:47
So I invite people right now to pause and reflect on.
42:50
Wow. What are some of the deepest
42:52
knowings? You had even as a Little kid
42:55
that you can draw upon and have been important for you.
42:59
And so for me that was one of them, a sense of unnecessary
43:02
unhappiness and a longing to understand it and to change it
43:06
and to do something about it while.
43:07
I didn't know how that was me really as a little kid.
43:11
And then when I was about 15, I've come now to look back and
43:15
realize there was a turning point in my life there.
43:17
That was really, really, really important when I was about 15
43:21
and I was very unhappy. I was Totally awkward with other
43:25
people. And my mind was definitely a
43:28
cape about. It was a mess in there and I
43:31
felt pretty despairing like oh I'm stuck.
43:33
I don't know what to do. I'm a total and just circling
43:36
the drain and then I had this realization that no everyday had
43:43
opportunities for learning in the broadest sense.
43:46
Every day. I could understand something a
43:49
little better. I could recognize something a
43:51
little more. I could become a little more
43:53
skillful. I Start weaving more and more
43:56
well being a calm and happiness and gratitude and so forth into
44:01
myself. I could learn how to talk with
44:03
girls, right? I can learn how to deal with my
44:05
parents. I could learn how to shift
44:08
inside my own mind. I could learn and grow a little
44:10
bit every day and that was incredibly hopeful.
44:13
It makes me think about the quote many, many years later, I
44:17
came across it from Star Trek, Captain Kirk who says the future
44:21
is the Undiscovered Country. We can't do anything about but
44:24
the Mast. So can learn and grow and help
44:28
ourselves in terms of who we are becoming and it's so hopeful.
44:32
It's also old school. We got to be responsible for it.
44:36
Got to recognize. It could be a long road.
44:38
My own Road has been a long one and still, you can take a step
44:44
down that road every day, so that really set me on my way.
44:46
And then some years later, I, or consistent with all that, I got
44:50
very interested in my early 20s, I started Terry, when I was
44:55
about 21 in 1974 and I got really interested in human
45:00
potential psychology and the contempt of traditions including
45:03
those from the East with better, very meditative.
45:07
And then starting about 20 years ago, more and more information
45:11
is available about the brain and I began to really see that at
45:14
the intersection of brain science psychology and
45:18
contemplative practice. There is tremendous potential if
45:22
you think of the intersection of those two circles.
45:24
Yeah. And that's where I work a lot
45:26
these days. Especially with yeah, yeah.
45:29
Yeah, exactly. Your, we were one insightful,
45:32
young man, Rick. I'm impressed that contains both
45:35
of them, actually. Wow.
45:39
And, and yeah, I know from your background, you've done some
45:45
Retreats and back when you were starting to meditate, you were
45:49
living in Buddhist Community from what I understand and, you
45:54
know it I was never been a monk. I have a lot of boughs for
45:59
monastics nuns and monks alike and transcending the gender
46:02
categories to. Yeah, but I would say up in a
46:06
I've been motivated and one thing I've learned along the way
46:09
is the power of little things. Just again, like we were saying
46:12
there's a hug from my home tradition Buddhism from the
46:16
dhammapada. It's really summarizes in a way
46:20
this whole conversation which has been really sweet and
46:22
delightful, here's the quote. Think not lightly of good saying
46:27
it will not come to me drawn by drop is the water pot filled
46:33
likewise the Wise One Gathering it little by little Phil's
46:37
oneself with good. Did you just remember to use
46:42
know that and tell us that that's amazing?
46:45
Oh, I just remembered it. Is this saying I do, I have it
46:47
in my power points deck and that's why I've seen it.
46:51
So powerful and beautiful to share, and thank you for sharing
46:57
that and all that you shared today, I think I would I would I
47:01
know you've got a lot of things happening you're working on a
47:03
lot of things. Can you just share a little bit
47:05
about what your next Endeavor is?
47:07
I know you're working and writing all these days.
47:11
So currently I'm doing a lot with online programs because
47:14
that's a wonderful way to reach people at scale and it's also a
47:19
wonderful way to make things accessible for people.
47:21
People literally around the world 24 hours a day.
47:24
If you've got an internet connection and as part of that
47:26
accessibility who are really quite happy for middle-class
47:31
people around the world to paste a very affordable price for
47:35
these online programs. Such as the foundations of
47:37
well-being program, we make them available with pretty much you
47:43
know for anyone who has Financial need.
47:45
So that's a really nice thing. So I do a lot of online
47:47
programming and their powerful ways that people can do.
47:51
On demand really whenever they want on the Go including just
47:55
listening to the program on her phone, you know, to, to grow
47:59
strikes inside and to develop more of this, unshakable core of
48:02
resilient moping. So that's good.
48:04
And people can learn more at my website, which is chock-full of
48:07
free material, freely, offered material, Rick Hansen, Som
48:11
dotnet. So that's one thing the kids
48:14
other. Yeah, that yeah.
48:17
Then then I know I'm working on my new book working title neuro.
48:21
Arma the deepest roots of the highest happiness and Dharma is
48:26
a kind of band, you know. It might seem like an exotic
48:29
term but it really simply means truth, what is the truth of
48:32
things? And what is the the path that is
48:36
really trustworthy and good. So when you bring neuro Dharma
48:40
to gether, you think about the connection between the deepest
48:45
deepest, penetrating understanding of the mind and
48:49
increasingly the deepest. Deepest, penetrating
48:52
understanding of the brain and the body altogether.
48:55
So that book is a summary really of seven, really powerful ways
49:02
of being that characterized both people who are enlightened and
49:07
ways of being that are in reach for all of us.
49:10
Every day, certainly, we can deepen in those seven ways of
49:14
being and maybe I'll just say them to you kind of here.
49:17
And yeah, you people can resonate or not with them.
49:20
And I would love to Those. Yeah, you heard it here and we
49:23
act the way that get out them in this book.
49:25
I'm doing is very room, be while being very respectful of the
49:32
Traditions that some of these Notions are grounded, in really
49:37
looking at each one of them, in terms of, how does the body make
49:40
that way of being? How does your body help you be
49:44
happy? For example.
49:45
And then based on understanding what the body is doing, then you
49:49
can start working the body to change.
49:51
Change it from the bottom up from the inside out using just
49:54
your mind alone. So here are the seven first
49:58
steady. The mind in other words, we have
50:01
to be mindful, just everything you do.
50:03
We have to be mindful. We need to be able to control
50:06
attention. We need to be able to even
50:09
concentrate and drop deeply into objects of attention.
50:14
Such as the breath or the feeling of peacefulness and
50:18
become more and more absorbed in that state.
50:21
So that Steadying mode, the second is warming, the heart
50:25
opening into loving this compassion.
50:29
Kindness self-compassion, more of a sense of us rather than
50:34
them. That's the warming, the heart,
50:38
the Third Way of being and each one of these ways of being is
50:40
also a practice. So there the both the goal of
50:43
practice and the method of practice.
50:45
As they say in Tibet, you can take the fruit as the path.
50:49
So warming the heart, Third one is resting in fullness.
50:54
Just resting with that green zone, sense of safe enough,
50:58
satisfied enough, loved enough, you know, peace contentment,
51:01
love lizard, Mauser monkey. So that's foundational steadying
51:06
the Mind warming, the heart resting and fullness, then we
51:10
move into the deep end of the pool.
51:12
With fourth enjoying wholeness accepting yourself as a whole,
51:17
taking yourself as a whole more and more, having a sense of your
51:21
Body continuously opening wider and wider into the sense of the
51:26
stream of Consciousness all together as a whole, including
51:30
the elements of awareness in a unified kind of way.
51:34
That does really good things for your brain that I won't get into
51:36
the detail of so enjoying wholeness and then fifth
51:40
receiving, nowness moving more and more into the present
51:44
moment. Exploring what it's like to
51:47
receive the present moment as this amazing scientists and in
51:51
the 1500s and 1600s Francis Bacon said, we have only this
51:56
moment sparkling in our hand like a diamond and melting like
52:01
a snowflake, right? So sparkling in melting
52:05
sparkling and melting continuously right?
52:07
The Power of Now the front edge of now be here now.
52:10
Whoo, how do you actually do that receiving nowness
52:13
continuously? Well, continually letting go
52:16
it's really radical and exciting and then sixth Opening into all
52:22
nurse where you get more and more of a sense of the boundary
52:25
between solvent World self and other starting to blur.
52:28
You know, there's a difference say between Rick and Rachel but
52:32
more and more. You start to see that.
52:33
Each one of us is like a wave in the vast, ocean of causes, it's
52:37
a local expression of the sea and you start being more and
52:43
more relaxed about recognizing that, you know, you're a local
52:47
patterning of the universe and even after your wave passes, The
52:51
universe will abide and there's more and more of a profound
52:55
sense of that as you open into Alma's.
52:57
And then last, this is where we start edging into what could be
53:01
meaningfully categorically distinct from the ordinary
53:04
Universe, finding timelessness finding a sense of Stillness and
53:10
midst activity sense of spaciousness through which
53:13
things move a sense of timelessness in which time flows
53:17
the sense of possibility in which things.
53:21
Come actual moment after moment after moment, which for some
53:25
people and it is as the Buddha taught and it's as others have
53:29
explored themselves that sense of be unconditioned, as he put
53:34
it, or you start moving into a could be the transcendental and
53:40
you know I explore the possibilities of that and and
53:42
how we can help ourselves become more accessible to timelessness
53:47
and the infinite. So that's why that bucks about
53:49
is you get the all I'm completely excited.
53:51
I heard about it. That's all it's in there.
53:54
Sorry, big and well, there's a little introductory set up.
54:00
Yeah, I call it coming, and then you move through the seven, you
54:04
know, steadiness loving this fullness wholeness now, Ness
54:08
almost time and then there's going, so yeah.
54:11
But that's how quite well, it just sounds so juicy and, and
54:15
sparkly and savory, like, the present moment, it sounds great.
54:20
I can't wait. Get my hands on it once it's
54:23
once you're done. I know you're in it right now.
54:24
So thank you for sharing that all of what you're working on.
54:28
And I know our time I feel like I wouldn't just keep going and
54:32
talk to you forever. However, we're going to, we're
54:35
going to wrap this and I'll put on the site with with your with
54:39
your recording, the link to your Google Talk that you did on
54:42
resilient which was fabulous that I hosted you at and your
54:46
hope your website you mentioned with the courses, like
54:50
foundations of well-being. That's the great year-long class
54:53
that self learned and online and and we can just continue to
55:00
follow your development. So thank you so much.
55:02
Rick this has been an extraordinary treat for me to
55:05
just be with you and enjoy what you're sharing and learn more
55:10
from you and with with you. So thank you so much.
55:13
Thank you, thank you, thank you. It's been a complete pleasure
55:15
for me. Thanks for listening today.
55:20
I'm Rachel O'Meara, the author of pause, harnessing the life
55:24
changing power of giving yourself a break now that you've
55:27
had a chance to listen to the podcast.
55:30
I want to invite you to continue the conversation and join the
55:34
private Facebook group. Be the pause, you can search for
55:38
it on Facebook or go to facebook.com slash groups /b the
55:42
pause. It's also in the podcast notes
55:45
for this episode. Also, if you are Dealing with
55:49
overwhelm or being stressed out at work and you're not really
55:52
sure what to do next. I invite you to download the
55:56
free guide book for the three keys to turn overwhelm into
56:02
thriving at work. This is on my website, Rachel,
56:04
O'Meara.com, and you can download it there today.
56:09
See you soon. Dealing with overwhelm or being
55:50
stressed out at work and you're not really sure what to do next.
55:54
I invite you to download the free guide book for the three
55:59
keys to turn overwhelm into thriving at work.
56:03
This is on my website, Rachel, O'Meara.com, and you can
56:07
download it there today. See you soon.