Latest / Project You 2.2 / Carrie - Choosing You: Stories, Struggles, and Small Wins That Transform Life

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Carrie - Choosing You: Stories, Struggles, and Small Wins That Transform Life · Project You 2.2

• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Project U Two Po.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Carrie Helmer, and this podcast is for anyone who is ready to stop dreaming about a better life and start living it.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a life coach, a former teacher, a mom of three boys, and a lifelong student of what it means to live a life that feels good on the inside, no matter what the outside looks like.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Today I want to talk about choosing yourself, pushing past the voices in your head, and creating small wins that add up to real transformation.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: You know the voice, the one that says things like, I'll do it when I'm ready, or I'll do it when I look better, or when I have more time, or when it's easier.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: That voice can be loud and it is sneaky.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: If you listen to it too much, life starts to feel heavy, stuck, and even a little sad, because it keeps us from things that bring us joy.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: The thing I've learned through my own journey and my coaching work, and quite honestly, just watching the people around me step up and transform, is that the magic happens when you choose differently.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: That's what we're going to unpack today with stories, I hope a few laughs, some small wins, and actionable strategies that you can start using right now.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Two people can be living the exact same life and feel completely different inside of it.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: I have seen this with people who weigh the same amount, and one can feel very comfortable and confident in her skin, and the other feels self-conscious and doesn't want to put themselves out there.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: One feels alive and one feels stuck.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: One feels proud, while the other one avoids mirrors, avoids pictures, and avoids themselves.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's the same life but a different story.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're really honest with yourself, you already know which one you are living.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I want you to think about one area of your life right now, the one you try not to sit in too long, because if you're honest, there's a voice in your head that doesn't sound very kind.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's your body, maybe it's a relationship you're in, maybe it's your energy, your time, your purpose, but there's something there, and you've learned how to live with it, but it's draining your joy.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I know this because I've lived it.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: After my pregnancies, I remember feeling so full of love, so grateful for my life, my babies, and at the same time I dreaded getting dressed, avoiding pictures, critiquing every angle, and it's confusing because on one hand you think I should just be happy, look at everything I have.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: And on the other hand, this quiet voice keeps whispering, this doesn't feel like me.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: So you go back and forth and you tell yourself to just accept it.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: Then the next day you say, No, I'm going all in, I'm gonna try to fix this.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: And then maybe you do for a while, and you lose some weight, you feel better, the voice quiet down, or you just get frustrated and overwhelmed, but it never fully leaves.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: Then life happens, old habits creep in, 10, 15, 20 pounds, back up, and that voice is right there again, like, see, this is who you are.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: That cycle is exhausting, and not because of the weight, but because of the conversation you're having with yourself every day.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: And that is what is stealing your joy.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: And it isn't just about weight.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: Let me tell you, packing for a vacation when you're not at your ideal weight, oh let me take you to my closet and vacation packing.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: One of my least favorite things if I'm not at my ideal weight.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: In the winter months in Michigan, I can hide under baggy sweaters and layers, but when it's time to pack for a warm vacation, that's another story.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: I hate trying clothes on in the store with bright lights and big mirrors that seem to highlight every flaw because it feels so defeating.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where I think Amazon seriously, their easy return policy has saved me so many times because you can order multiple sizes and styles, and if something doesn't fit or makes me feel less than confident, I send it back.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: That flexibility gives me a sense of control in an otherwise anxiety-filled moment.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Speaking of Amazon, I saw a former student this morning who works for Amazon.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: And did you know that when Alexa asks you if you want to thank your driver, they get a$5 bonus for every delivery up to a certain amount?
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: I love those random tidbits and people sharing tiny details about how the world works because those stick with me and are just good to know.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: I remember last year getting ready for dancing with the local stars performance, and I had to wear a costume with a two-inch inseam on the romper.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: I hate my legs, even with nylons, so I asked a close friend to shine a light on them, and we literally stood in her kitchen as she squatted down with a flashlight, stood at different angles to make sure I didn't need extra coverage.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: I was ready to put on two pairs of nylons if necessary.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: And yet, I got on that stage, I danced, I smiled, and I had so much fun.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I realized that it's not about perfection, it's about showing up.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: I was just asked to model for a local fashion show.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: And part of me is like, what a great compliment, fun, right?
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: Except I'm dragging my feet because I keep thinking about my weight, those winter pounds that I've put on and trying clothes on and standing in front of people.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: I know some women will judge.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: I've done it myself, but here's the thing.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: I have stood in front of thousands of teenage girls over the years, and I've learned something important.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: When we put ourselves out there, we grow.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because those teenage students of mine, I watch them especially at the beginning of every trimester as they judge me and try to decide if they liked me, and I watch their eyes go from head to toe.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: And when we put ourselves out there and grow, we have fun, we reclaim confidence.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, I have a month to get serious about my healthy habits, so maybe this is a good time to really kick it in and to help me.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: But even if I don't, I know the growth is in the showing up, not perfection.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that I'll never feel confident enough to get up there.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: I know that I have to push myself outside of my comfort zone.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that that growth and me showing up and not being perfect, that's where the joy and the fun come from in life.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: Choosing differently doesn't always look like these grand gestures in our life.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: For example, I love reading, and curling up with a book with a warm cup of coffee has been a ritual for me.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: But when I started walking more consistently, I realized I could switch to audiobooks.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: And at first, I'll be honest, I didn't love it.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: I missed holding the book, curling up on the couch, but now I walk longer, I get fresh air, I hear incredible stories, and it makes the mundane tasks like treadmill walking fly by.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: Two miles can feel like nothing.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's the same thing I use when I'm teaching my clients lessons.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: These small shifts and consistent practice, choosing differently in those small moments adds up.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: Some of my clients need once-a-week accountability.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: Others need daily weigh-ins or check-ins.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: Some need to be reminded to just keep meals simple and focus on hydration, movement, or protein, or maybe to eat every two to three hours to keep blood sugar stable.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: And the coaching truth here is that we all need reminders.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: We need support.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: We need someone to celebrate the small wins and help us get back on track when we falter because all of those small wins add up.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: That weight loss, that confidence, the energy, it's cumulative.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: And it starts when we choose differently, right now.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: I think about one of my clients, a woman who has lost 25 pounds and wants to lose more.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: She doesn't feel good in her own skin yet.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: She hasn't bought new clothes because her old ones still hide her body and she's nervous about stepping into something form-fitting.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: We work together to focus on micro wins and celebrate what's changed, get movement in daily, stay consistent with nutrition, and then choose accountability over judgment.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: And guess what?
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: She's thriving.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: Slowly her mindset is shifting.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: She can stand taller and feel more in control, learn to trust herself, and actually enjoy the process rather than hiding from it.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because those tiny mindset wins, those moments of showing up despite our fear, despite how hard it is, despite the discomfort, that leads to long-term transformation.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: And it's the same approach I use with myself.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: And then there are the harder ones, like being in a relationship that you know isn't right.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: And you don't need someone to tell you because you can feel it, but you stay because being alone feels scarier than staying in something that's just okay.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: So you convince yourself that it's fine and it's not that bad.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: Other people have it worse.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so you live in that middle space.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: You're not miserable enough to leave, but not fulfilled enough to feel alive.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: This pattern can show up in so many things in so many areas of your life.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: And if I'm being really honest, most people stay stuck right there in the middle.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: They're not at the bottom, but they're not at their potential.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: They're just comfortable, comfortable enough to stay because leaving that space feels hard, feels unfamiliar, it's scary, and it feels like what if I try again and end up right back here, or even less happy.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: And so here's the deep truth.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of making change, we loop, we think about changing, we talk about changing, we dip our toe into making a change, but we don't fully step in.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: Then we watch other people and we tell ourselves stories about them.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: We say, Well, they probably have better genetics, or they have more time than we do, or their relationship is just easier.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: But what we don't see is they are making different choices on repeat, even when they don't feel like it.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: And the cost of staying where you are is quiet sometimes, and time keeps passing, but we are not doing anything to really make change.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: And our confidence is slowly eroding.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: It looks like avoiding pictures or avoiding conversations or avoiding opportunities, and it it is looking at other people's lives and feeling that little sting of, why not me?
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's becoming someone that you don't fully recognize anymore.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: And it isn't because something terrible has happened to you, but because you just stopped choosing yourself.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: So the real question isn't what do I need to change?
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: But it's how much longer am I willing to live like this?
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: Because when things do shift, it's not just about the outcome, it's how you feel in your whole life.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: You walk into a room and you don't shrink.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: You connect with people and you are present.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: You see a picture of yourself and you don't immediately pick it apart.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: You stop negotiating with that voice in your head because it's not running the show anymore.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: You are.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: Suddenly, so many things feel easier.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: Getting dressed feels easier, going out feels easier, showing up feels easier.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: Life feels lighter.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: Not perfect, but it's yours again.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: This is the work I do to help people, and it isn't surface level change and it isn't quick fixes.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's this.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's helping people see the patterns they've been living and the stories they've been believing, the ways they've been keeping themselves in that middle space.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: And then I walk with them and they actually change it because most people don't just need more information, they just need someone to help them step forward, to call them forward, to hold them steady and not let them go back to who they've been.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: So if you've been listening to this and there's something in your life that's like, this is me, don't brush it off.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: When we become aware, that's where everything starts.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: But remember, the question is, what are you gonna do with it?
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: If you're interested in talking to me about working possibly to do some one-on-one coaching, you can find me at www.project you twenty-two dot org and make today a great day.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: And remember to choose yourself because you're worth it and you do deserve it!