Latest / The Pausecast / The Pausecast Ep. 23 Tiffany Shlain Author of 24/6

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The Pausecast Ep. 23 Tiffany Shlain Author of 24/6 · The Pausecast

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Hi, I'm Rachel O'Meara. Author of pause, harnessing the
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life changing power of giving yourself a break.
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I'm excited that you're here today and joining me on the paws
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cast where I interview thought leaders in the world of raising
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our Consciousness, emotional intelligence and helping us
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really reach our potential for more information, you can go to
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my website, Rachel, O'Meara.com, and download my free guide book.
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How to turn earn out into thriving.
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At work. Hi everyone.
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Welcome. This is Rachael O'Meara and I am
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here today for the latest installation of the podcast.
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And I'm so excited. I am here with Tiffany shlain.
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Hi, Tiffany, how are you doing today?
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Hello, I am so happy to be here, let me know.
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I feel like this is a union that we waited years for exciting in
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the in real time and not in book form.
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So, so excited to have you join us?
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I'm going to share a little bit more about you.
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Our listeners can learn more. I'm sure they may already be
1:09
familiar with your work. If you aren't familiar with
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Tiffany, Tiffany is, is an is a Pioneer in my opinion.
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And she has done so much for the world of the creative and film.
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And now books about how to really, just be more conscious.
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So, Tiffany shlain was honored by Newsweek as one of the women
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shaping the 21st century and I couldn't agree more Tiffany, is
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an emmy-nominated filmmaker and And founder of the Webby Awards
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actually went to one of those like way early in the day in the
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90s. Wow.
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I'm an alumni Tiffany's films and work have received over 80
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Awards and distinctions including being selected for the
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Albert Einstein's foundations. Genius, 100 visions of the
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future NBA NPR named you UC Berkeley address as one of the
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best commencement speeches speeches and your films have
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premiered a top festivals and Tuning, Sundance, and I know
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you, and I met when your film came out years ago, in Napa at
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the Napa Valley Film Festival some.
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So, here we are, we've gotten to from there to here and I'm
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really excited to share your latest work.
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And part of why Tiffany and I have bonded is that you are the
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author of an upcoming book 24-6 or maybe it's 24 by 60 and the
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idea there is that this is a book that's all About the power
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of and unplugging one day a week and welcome to phanie.
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It's so great to have you here. So, I mean, what a journey in
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the fact that you were at an early Webby Awards when I was
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like, wow, that's going to change everything.
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And then after I saw it changed too much.
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I'm like, whoa, not too much. That's not the right one.
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Yeah, it was, it was something. It shouldn't be changing and
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that and I think I started turning off screens one day a
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week with my family about 10 years ago and then I think he
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reached out to me, was it four years ago?
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Yeah, I'm still working on the book.
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About your book about the importance of causes.
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And I think we both are, like, soul sisters, and the power of
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rest and pause to really live life to the fullest and the best
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way. So, yeah, I'm happy to be here
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with you to talk about me too, and I want to invite you to lead
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our listeners in a guided paws. Are you up for that?
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I'm up for it. All right I'll hand it over to
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you, okay. So while I do this complete
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practice of with my family at no screams from Friday night to
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Saturday, night's grow, what we call our technology Shabbat.
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I've also tried to emigrate which I highly recommend, by the
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way, change my life. I've also tried to integrate
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practices throughout the week of the biggest ones for me.
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I started doing ever since the 2016 election is to not.
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Look at my phone when I wake up. And yes, I use it as an alarm
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clock. Let's go on under that but I
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don't I keep it on airplane mode and I go down and I write in my
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five minutes Journal some things to frame my day.
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And the the couple questions that it asks me are what are the
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three things you're grateful for this morning and what are three
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things that would make today? Great.
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So I love for everyone to just take a moment obviously if
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you're driving Don't Close Your Eyes.
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But if you're listening to this in any other way, close your
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eyes And really think about your in bed and you're waking up, how
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are you waking up? And then what's the first thing
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you do? And if you reach for the phone,
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and look at that, you're probably looking at news
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headlines, which are very stressful.
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You might be looking at emails, which might contain work or
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other things that might stress you out, or you might be looking
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at Social, which is a combination of news and fomo and
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a combination of feeling. So, that's one way to wake up,
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is, to wake up and look at That phone and be bombarded with all
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of this input from the outside world.
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Now, I want to present a different scenario where you
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wake up, you have your coffee or tea or or not and you sit down
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and you open up a journal and you you frame your day.
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Do you think what would make today great and what are the
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things in I have in my life? That I appreciate, and I'm
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grateful for and I promise you. But that it's such a beautiful
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way to start and frame your day. And it's been really a profound
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pause practice for me. And I'm not going to pretend
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that there aren't some mornings where because I've used it as an
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alarm clock, I want to reach for it, and I literally said to
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myself, don't look at it and I put it away, so I'm not visually
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seeing it and I write in my journal and it I do that before
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I go to sleep. And when I wake up and it's a
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beautiful pause practice that really, it's like love.
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As of love that, I think about it.
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And I hope all of the listeners can try it because it's really
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amazing. I go into those kind of things
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in my book as long as well as like much bigger picture ideas
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around time on and time off and all of this, but the simple ways
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that we can bring more balance back into our lives right now.
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I think are really important. Aunt.
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Aunt. I'm just taking that in.
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Yeah, and the visualization of what I can create for myself and
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what we can all create for ourselves and you're bringing up
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what I know is been a great tool for me, is just visioning your
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day in general, and like really creating it as a practice is
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what I'm hearing along with not reaching for those devices.
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First thing really powerful, Yeah, thank you for that.
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And what have you experienced out of this house?
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I know kind of giving a giving us taking a step back and
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sharing a little bit more about our story.
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So for those of you who have read, pause the book, Tiffany is
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one of the pause case studies who shares about the tech
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Shabbat that she mentioned. Is it still called the tech
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Shabbat or Shabbat? What are we calling it now?
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Yeah, we call it. I think my husband, my story,
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Echoing, that ten years ago. And, yeah, and we still call it
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that. We're going to take our texture
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but and come over for a texture behind and I can't wait for
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texture about. It's actually I love the word.
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Shabbat soup was kind of fun. I actually prefer it over the
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word Sabbath, which sounds very rigorous than I'm not a
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religious person, but I love the practice of Shabbat.
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So I think the word Shabbat is lighter to me, it doesn't have
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as much religious. Baggage for me, On The Price is
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four levels you know a lot of people can't believe we've done
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it for ten years every week which we have.
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And my husband is a professor of Robotics obviously he loves
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technology. I found it the way.
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These have a sale of technology and we do have a teenage
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daughter. A lot of people want to know
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that we have a 16 year old and a 10 year old.
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And they love it too and it is just the greatest thing we've
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ever done. I mean, it is our favorite every
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week. We run towards it on Friday
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night and we always have people over for a lovely Shabbat meal.
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We do blessings. We tell no one to bring devices.
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We have an amazing round, the table discussion, one
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conversation. And then after the guests leave,
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it's like my best bleep of the week.
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And then, in the morning, my husband, and I do journaling, we
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talk, this is all before the kids wake up.
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Now, they sleep in which is so nice and and I put articles
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aside throughout the week that I want to be deeply.
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But, you know, we're all just skimming most of the time these
9:10
days. So I do a lot of reading and
9:12
writing in the morning and then Mike Come down and it's just
9:15
like because it's a more quiet day.
9:17
It's, you know, we do go out in nature or take a walk.
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We read read nap, we do board games, we hang out, but it's
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really a day about more of nothing.
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And yes, and doing and being and we have done it with our girls.
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In soccer. We can do that.
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But the dream version is that we, you know, just aren't
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planning a lot and we have a landline in case somebody needs
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to reach us. An emergency and all the ten
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years that's hardly ever happened.
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I do recommend in the book. I talked very much about
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practical things that you'll need like a landline, which is
9:52
only one month, but I think it's essential for our sanity right
9:56
now and it helps you find yourself in when it's lost to.
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So that's Again The Landing that that's good.
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I think that's not a bad thing. I only have a landline for my
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doorbell at the moment in my apartment, but I'm inspired by
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you now so we have that and you know and then it's just They
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feel so much longer because technology speeds up our senses
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time. It's like the most delicious a
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and I do all the things I love to do and I say and that's
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another thing I say is like you wrote a list of all the things
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you wish you had more time to do whether that's cooking painting
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gardening, picking up an instrument writing poetry,
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whatever it is. That's the day to do it and
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that's what we plan for that day and then Saturday night, you
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know, my girls are back on technology, my husband and I
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usually go see a movie. Which we don't do on our Shabbat
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so don't watch anything on a screen and it has created such a
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great Rhythm to the week. And and then Sunday, I feel like
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my most creative ever, I just wake up.
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I'm like, bursting with ideas and productivity and I feel so
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rested and it's just been this really.
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It feels like this secret source of protection, I think from just
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how stressed out everyone is and also I mean there's so many
11:12
elements that are happening in our Society.
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Right now. There's so many mental health
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issues, I mean teen suicide attempts of doubled.
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I think our president current President Trump.
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I realized his name is the embodiment of a distracted
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society. And he loves to keep us
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distracted and he's distracted and I think we need to bring
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back room for reflection and big picture thinking and a day of
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rest which been around for thousands of years.
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And I'm hoping with this book and I'm not I'm not thinking
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about it or I have great respect, if you are a religious
11:46
person and you practice it for religious reasons, which I think
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is beautiful. I love people that are
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passionate really about anything except for, like, on the real
11:53
extremes, but I do not do it in that way, and I'm really hoping
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to really introduce it as a concept, just like yoga and
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meditation where I do both of those.
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And I don't consider myself, Hindu or Buddhist and I would
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love for people to take a text Shabbat each week.
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And again, the power of for me is the each weakness of it.
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It's not like Going on a digital detox or to me it is.
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The power is all about the league right now.
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I don't, I mean, when I was growing up, I kind of thought
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only Orthodox. Jews did a whole day off and
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most of my friends that did she bought, if they did a Shabbat
12:28
dinner, it was Friday night, Friday, night, festive dinner.
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But I didn't know anyone, I did a full one, and I was, that's
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where all the powers is that full 24 hours, and for religious
12:39
Jews, they call it 25 hours but But that's what it's all about
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to me, is that whole day every week to replenish, which I know
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you wrote about a lot in your book.
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I mean, yeah, the whole term sabbatical actually comes from
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the word Sabbath and Shabbat. Yes, I know, I actually feel
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about as well. Is that?
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Yeah, I put that in the book based on what that what you had
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shared about it at the time and what your what's coming up for
13:04
me, is Shabbat the word like you mentioned is, is more, this is
13:08
less formal, and it really means prayer.
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And so, Me that's a universal note of how I could use the time
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for my own self. Whether it's prayer for my life
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or even if I'm not religious just holding that, like you
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said, it's a container for returning to my roots, being a
13:28
person and whatever I want to fill my day with which is maybe
13:31
a passion project or being with family, it sounds so profound
13:36
when you talk about it. Tiffany.
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But at the same time, almost it's I I hear oh yeah.
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That's what I used to do the kind of how we operated years
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ago, prior to our digital distractions and I call a pause
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and intentional shift in Behavior, which is why I think
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that the Shabana is powerful, it doesn't doesn't tie to it in
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length of time. Yours happens to be for 24 hours
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which I think is really good, stretchy goal, right where we're
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kind of in a mode of like, okay, maybe I can do this for 10
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minutes, 5 minutes, X minutes and having a full 24 hours day
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where I could have no digital devices.
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And like, imagine, you're reading these articles you're
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mentioning from an actual newspaper or magazine and you
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do, it's amazing. Also, you know, my Film Studio,
14:29
does This Global Day called character day, which is all
14:32
about Behavior, the neuro science, and social science
14:35
about developing your behavior. And there's such a beautiful
14:38
link this year with the book and care today because we're Really
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looking at, what's the relationship between your
14:45
character and how you scream? And we're expressing ourselves
14:48
so much through screens. Now how what is your, how does
14:52
your character change on screens when should you be on?
14:55
And when should you be off? And we're doing all these many
14:58
challenges that your listeners can check out those like four
15:01
weeks of many challenges, like don't look at your phone when
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you wake up. Like I talked about or go for a
15:06
walk without your phone and and then those we all up to 4 weeks
15:11
of doing it. Shabbat because to build a
15:12
habit, you need a certain amount of weeks to do something before
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weeks in a row of one day off a week, end of middle screen, and
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I'll tell you something. I actually think the doing, the
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many things are harder the, don't wake up with your phone
15:27
and go for a walk without it because it's just so easy to
15:31
grab when it's there and you distract you and it there or to
15:34
go on with her. But I actually think it's easier
15:36
to create a real strict. Boundary of you are putting your
15:40
phone in a drawer on Friday. Night and you're not taking it
15:42
out for Saturday night. You don't see it.
15:44
It's not an option. There's no slipperiness.
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I think during the week it's actually harder because it's so
15:51
slippery and you're like, oh I just do this one thing and then
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it takes you down this Rabbit Hole.
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Like my biggest problem is when I'm reading and something I've
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read reminds me of something and I'm just going to look up for
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and then I'm off that book for an hour and you know I hate that
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I was in an idea on a journey of reading a story and then the
16:14
boom, you're like scrolling through news feeds and stressing
16:18
out. So I actually really, though
16:21
it's counterintuitive the whole day with a clear boundary for
16:27
you, and your partner, and kids or solo with a friend, is
16:30
actually an a better constraint. It's a better boundary because
16:35
it's not as loosey-goosey. Yes.
16:43
It's a ritualised as well. So now, I know every Friday or
16:46
for whatever time period, 24 hours.
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I have, I know, this is my time. I'll be detached like, from
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devices and, and then my intention can be higher.
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I feel like with the other loosey-goosey ones may be
17:00
leading up to that. And I know this is my case, I
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slip because I have, I make up an excuse, but if I really have
17:07
a whole day where I know I'm not going to be Tangled in with, I
17:12
with my internet's then I think I'm bringing more commitment and
17:17
intention in and imagine that's more of a mindset where we can
17:21
all kind of relate to that. Where we have more time, we're
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going to commit more really, it's more like a directional
17:26
nyjah's. Yeah, yeah.
17:28
That's a great way to put it. It's like you're and also you've
17:31
pretty much let people know. But if you do have to do some
17:34
crafts like on Friday afternoon, what people in your life will
17:39
start to know which is great. And I actually think You know,
17:41
I'm connected to like all my family and friends everything
17:44
all the time. And actually to have one day
17:45
where I'm just replenishing and not not as available to the
17:51
Stephen, my family and friends actually feels feels good.
17:54
I mean, because I want to be there for them and I can be
17:57
there for them better if I have a day to regroup.
18:00
Yeah. And but I do, there is an
18:03
expectation and I have a lots of things in the book about what to
18:06
tell your boss. If you have a boss, how did with
18:09
your co-workers, how to make you just make plans on Friday
18:12
afternoon? It's actually very funny if you
18:13
do make a plan on Saturday, looks like I'll be there.
18:16
And I can. Yeah, me and you just you have
18:18
no idea how many extra text go out that are unnecessary and
18:21
partly. I'm around the corner.
18:23
I'm and you know every text you get take you out of whatever
18:26
you're thinking about are doing for 23 minutes.
18:29
And once I learned that I checked so much less during the
18:32
work week because anyone I'm texting, I am disturbing what
18:35
they're doing for 23 minutes and like how Carfax.
18:38
Yeah. So, yeah.
18:40
That's where it is. He okay?
18:41
Or could you send an email and they can read it when they want
18:44
to go in? I mean, actually, another thing
18:46
I've turned, Every notification on my phone, there's not one
18:49
notification on my phone, it's stopped for my husband and girls
18:53
so there's nothing. It's not, it's not making me
18:58
like a marionette doll which I think I think that's so
19:02
important. Yeah, one thing I started doing
19:04
to do you do airplane mode, do you put it into airplane mode?
19:07
If you're in a pinch or something?
19:08
I've recently started doing that at night, if I need to, and I
19:11
don't sleep with my phone in my room, that's my boundary every
19:14
night last night I got in. Would you wake up with Yeah, I
19:19
have an old-school alarm clock, it's very annoying and it has
19:21
that beeping sound. Sometimes I miss mess it up and
19:24
do like a.m. instead of p.m., but I don't care.
19:27
I think, I kind of like it and, and it's kind of retro.
19:30
And now, especially I think I've had it for at least 20 years or
19:33
so. So I use my phone in a hotel
19:37
room when I'm in a pinch things like that last night I got in
19:39
really late for my flight and I just plugged it in and put it.
19:42
I turned it on airplane mode, though.
19:44
There's also I don't, you know, there's these studies about
19:47
Wavelengths and like having internet bombarding.
19:50
You 24/7, right? I don't do you have any data on
19:53
that in the book? I'm sure there's lots to share
19:56
just being surrounded by Wi-Fi, but I'm actually not very good
19:58
either. I went into that in my feature
20:02
documentary connected but I don't go into that in the book.
20:04
Yeah I do talk about the research on sleep that the blue
20:09
light from phones. That's not, you know, probably
20:11
like a third of kids are waking up in teenagers or Waking Up
20:15
throughout the night to check their texts and there On
20:17
Instagram and a third of adults do.
20:19
And that this really interesting research is that it's building
20:23
up the same kind of plaque and the brain that Alzheimer's
20:26
patients. Yeah.
20:28
Basically we have no idea what it's doing to our memory.
20:34
Yeah yeah. So so tell us more about the
20:37
book and I think there's probably a lot to share I know
20:41
there knowing the Shabbat is this experience?
20:45
And you talked about some Kitchens tell us like what could
20:48
what can I learn in terms of like a how-to so I can try this
20:54
and how can the book help me? What can I read it during my
20:57
mama that sounds? Yeah, yeah to be a great thing
21:02
to do. I mean I think half the book is
21:04
big picture. I mean I really go deep into the
21:07
history of days of rest for all cultures, every religion used to
21:10
have it and it's pretty much evaporated from everyone but
21:14
Judaism Christianity, Muslims. The Buddhists Enter key and it
21:20
had very different. They had called a ton time, but
21:22
every culture has had through the breast and we've just lost
21:26
them all and I make a strong case on why we need to bring it
21:29
back and I go through like the neuroscience and psychology and
21:32
philosophy and lots of different perspectives on why and how good
21:36
it is for our body and soul and all that kind of stuff.
21:38
Then the other half is very practical.
21:41
I'm really going deep. I share a lot of my own stories
21:43
that it has a memoir component because it has Then you know
21:47
obviously when I was running the Webby Awards, what my early
21:50
hopes for the web were and where I think we took some wrong turns
21:53
in the tech industry, and the government.
21:55
And personally, and how we're in this Reckoning with how we're
21:59
using these devices and we need to take responsibility and you
22:02
know, Parenting is modeling behavior and how do we expect to
22:07
limit kids screen times when they're watching us all the time
22:09
with our heads down? And right?
22:11
So I, I really go into very practical ways to implement this
22:16
into your life, how to convince people in your life to do it,
22:18
how to let people know you're doing it and what it looks like
22:21
and what things you might run into, and what are some things
22:23
you can do with that screens by age?
22:25
And then, I go into the big picture things because, I, you
22:28
know, my background. In fact, I have a lot of
22:29
thoughts about As Citizens what we need to demand from our
22:34
legislators and how we need to really understand how our dad
22:37
has been manipulated and how we're being manipulated.
22:40
And, and really get a better grasp of what these devices are
22:43
doing to us, and our minds and our mental help.
22:47
Yeah. I and I think of you as an
22:49
activist in this area which I know you.
22:52
You are a Pioneer in this as well.
22:54
And, and I, and like taking action for the next thing or
22:58
awareness. At least this book is I think an
23:01
Resource for the tips that you mentioned and just really being
23:04
aware because a lot of us aren't aware.
23:06
And if we are, we just know maybe big broad brushstrokes of
23:09
this isn't. This can't be helpful are using
23:11
this for games and triggering triggering my, my Reward Center
23:16
in my brain, probably isn't a good idea ongoing, you know,
23:19
things like that. But in terms of what we can do,
23:22
what is in the book, what can you share in terms of tips for
23:26
how we can change things? Because I know there are a lot
23:28
of organizations right now that are Promoting do new ways of
23:33
being whether it's with our devices, or with kids, and
23:36
things like that. But anything you recommend or if
23:38
I wanted to reach out as a listener.
23:40
What do I do? How do I get started?
23:44
Well, I definitely think you should go to my site, which is
23:48
24 6. SI X life.com because I have a
23:52
lot of resources there and organizations.
23:54
Like you're mentioning, I'm on The Advisory Board of an
23:58
organization, a national organization called, wait until
24:00
eight. And it's all about waiting until
24:03
it's great to get your kid a smartphone.
24:04
And why and just thousands of parents all over the country are
24:08
signing it. Now that this pledge has
24:09
started, there's the center for Humane technology that people
24:13
can check out. There's a documentary.
24:14
Everyone should see on Netflix right now called the Great half
24:17
about Cambridge. Analytical it is disturbing.
24:22
Yes, exactly. Things you can do because I
24:26
don't, I don't like to lead from fear and I have a lot of
24:33
Resources ways to educate yourself legislation.
24:36
Coming up tools to bring into your life on the place.
24:41
Great I love it, will send people to with the link to 24-6
24:46
on your, on your site. So we can really dive into that
24:50
and in terms of the the transformation, let's talk a
24:55
little bit about that and the character day will go back to.
24:59
What are you? How can we We expect to shift if
25:04
this was something that I try. Well, I know you've experienced
25:07
different things, but what kind of impact does this have
25:10
long-term? Or how can my days be different
25:13
knowing? This is a shift and it will be
25:15
hard to change habits and patterns like is it worth it?
25:18
Do I want to try it? What are your thigh can I didn't
25:22
tell you? I'm almost 50 years old.
25:25
I will be make sure it is the best thing I've ever done.
25:28
I mean, you know, I used to be a smoker, I should say in my
25:31
twenties. And I have a horrible habit.
25:35
Everyone used to smoke when I smoked and it was cool and I'm
25:38
still maker. It was cool and moving it.
25:40
Look cool. Right?
25:43
But I knew I was doing but it was a combination of you know, a
25:48
lot of Public Health campaigns and laws that ban smoking from
25:52
bars and a lot of Consciousness around cigarette smoke and I
25:56
quit, I quit. I haven't smoked since then over
25:59
20-something years and you go to a lot of cities Smelling smoke a
26:03
for very few people. So I do believe that behavior
26:06
Can shift and I can tell you that it is, I feel so much more
26:10
grounded. I feel so much more creative and
26:14
productive and just happier and I think even when I'm stressed
26:19
during the week, I think, oh, I have my text.
26:21
I have my text Shabbat and it is like this protective force force
26:27
field and it just changed my life in every way I could.
26:32
Better. So I feel like almost as if the
26:34
most important project I've ever done because obviously when the
26:38
web first started, it was, it was so important and amazing.
26:41
And I love the web, but just not all the time and not for
26:44
everything. And I think we've forgotten that
26:46
part. So, and also, because I am a
26:49
woman in Tech. I also think that we need that
26:51
voice more, I don't think women would have ever created a tool
26:54
that would have addicted eye contact from away from other
26:57
people's eye contacts, because that's our best tool as humans.
27:01
And as mother. Is and its friends and we don't
27:04
hardly do that now. Can you give us one tip of
27:07
sorry? I didn't mean to interrupt you,
27:08
but I was wondering if you could give us one tip based on those
27:11
Communications for our manager, our boss, what would you what
27:15
can we say? If we want to try this?
27:17
And we know we might get paid, you know, I think the best some
27:21
tones and I'm a boss. I mean I run a company man who
27:24
right away because it's an employee came to me and said, I
27:29
feel like I'm going to be so much more productive.
27:32
Of in Creative for you. If I'm completely unavailable
27:37
for this one day a week, I mean, I think it should really be two
27:39
days a week. I will, I would be, I won't be
27:45
so much better in this job if I really have that break from work
27:48
and there's no expectations of communicating with me over the
27:50
weekend. I bet she didn't say yes.
27:53
I mean II would never say no to that.
27:56
Yeah. People that I think I think we
27:59
need more boundaries I think you know the Me to movement touched
28:03
upon that with our bodies. And I think that we blurred, the
28:05
lines of work in place so much. That 63 percent of people, it's
28:09
backed feel like their bosses, expect them to respond to an
28:14
email or text or call over the weekend and that's that's wrong.
28:18
Yeah. Yeah.
28:18
I am relating and I know that. That's a, that's true.
28:23
And and then I would say, even worst case scenario is maybe
28:26
your boss would say. Will you find a solution?
28:28
Then if we need help, like, maybe you're on call or there.
28:32
Urgent thing that would mean 10 attention that, you know, you
28:35
need to do so like how maybe you can problem solve for that.
28:38
And it doesn't mean no, it just means maybe there's other
28:41
options, so things like that and rotating it on a team or
28:44
something. Even if rotating, I mean, even
28:46
my brother who's a doctor he's like, you know, I have to be
28:49
available but my father was a surgeon and he would be on
28:52
called to other doctors. No.
28:55
Doctors going to be good if they're available all the time.
28:58
They need time off to you. Want people that are rested.
29:02
And replenish to do their best work, right?
29:05
And no and just think back to the last time you felt like all
29:07
of us who felt when you felt rested.
29:10
And how did that impact your day?
29:12
We all go and do more and feel better.
29:15
So I think that's really, really good advice in a digital device
29:18
pause. I call these ddps and the book,
29:20
and I talked about them when I do all my talks to, and I think
29:24
the light bulbs go off when you start thinking about it in terms
29:26
of boundaries, like, oh yeah, it's a choice.
29:28
I could do something different. And I just think that's really
29:32
Like a powerful way to remind us that habits do change.
29:35
Just like you said, and we have brains that are designed
29:39
neuroplasticity exist so that we can change our minds and brains
29:43
and how we think and it's and how we are.
29:46
So I totally support all of this and getting back to character
29:50
day. Tell us a little bit about that
29:51
because I know it's a, it's something that you're really
29:55
geared up for it sounds really fun and how like, how do I get
29:59
involved? And what would that look like?
30:03
Well, basically, we're doing these four weeks of many
30:06
challenges for each week is a new one.
30:10
And like, don't look at your phone in the morning.
30:12
Go for a walk, without your phone and and then the third
30:15
week is really think about how you are online.
30:18
Welcome, you really think about how you're posting what you're
30:22
checking and then and then we have these four weeks of the
30:26
challenge of trying, a text robot.
30:28
And whenever your listeners are looking to that, they can go
30:31
through that. Eight week program and it's all
30:34
free. And then, of course, the book
30:36
goes deeper into all of this stuff and bigger picture things.
30:41
So you can just go to character day.org to find out about that.
30:45
Or you can go to the books website and you can find out
30:47
about it too. But we're really, you know,
30:50
there's both kind of the book. And then there's the challenge
30:54
is to try to shift the behavior and then there's bigger movement
30:57
about bringing more balance back into our lives with technology.
31:01
And that is The government that's with tech companies
31:04
that's with fellow parents and just fellow humans.
31:07
We ship behaviors or culture so the book and the challenges and
31:13
and really wrestling with it together.
31:16
Yeah, that's powerful. And I know, from last year, you
31:20
had four million people do this glass 125, countries and 50, all
31:26
50 states. So this is a big deal and you I
31:28
think this is a movement like you said, so we can all join.
31:32
And if you miss it this year it's at the end of September
31:35
2019. So it's coming up and and then
31:39
it can its annual, right? So so you can continue.
31:42
But then the I think the beauty is you could take these
31:43
practices and just try them, it doesn't have to be that time.
31:47
Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly, yeah, that's that's that's
31:53
really great. Well, let's wrap up here.
31:56
Is there anything else that you want to share in terms of what
31:59
people can do to really just start embracing?
32:02
Seeing this as a mindset and staying in that mode of knowing
32:07
there can be different things. If you're feeling that overwhelm
32:10
or wanting to break from that digital world.
32:17
Yeah, I mean I think that I think most people you talk to,
32:21
when you bring it up, everyone feels like they're on their
32:23
screens, too much, right? There's like, not one person
32:27
that would not say, yeah. I think I'm on my, I don't know.
32:30
I don't know what every age group.
32:33
I mean, I was talking to my 88 year old and it's like, I'm on
32:37
the screen. It's okay to take a whole day
32:48
off and it's going to make your life so much better.
32:51
Yeah. And and one last question, I
32:53
know we didn't talk too much about social media specifically.
32:57
But do you have any tips or I mean, he really big.
33:03
Yeah, I just My natural social media cuz I love sharing
33:14
articles. I also read a lot of stuff I
33:16
wouldn't normally read. So, like I get out of my little,
33:20
you know, chamber of like-minded voices, because I file a lot of
33:24
diverse people, but and then, you know, Facebook and
33:29
Instagram. Here's what I would say.
33:32
And I have this in the book to, I have a lot of different
33:34
strategies around social media. I think it's good to take breaks
33:37
and see how that feels. I think you should We ask
33:40
yourself, why are you posting? Are you?
33:43
What's your goal here? And yeah, you know, one thing I
33:47
wrote about in the book that I do think about a lot is that my
33:51
younger daughter when she was in fourth grade?
33:53
And it was all this social issues with girls and one of the
33:56
things they kept saying is don't talk about a fun play date in
33:59
front of another person that wasn't at the Fun playdate and
34:03
I'm like oh my God, that's social media.
34:10
But you didn't go to never right.
34:15
When, is it ever fun to see a vase?
34:16
Never that funds along or a part is never fun.
34:19
So is made me posts a lot less about that kind of stuff.
34:23
And I mean, I would post my kids because I know I love seeing my
34:26
other friends kids grow up, and I put a lot of Articles and I
34:29
post about my work, but I really am Mindful.
34:33
And, of course, you know, if I book coming out, I mean, I'm
34:35
going to be posting about book events and hopefully they get
34:38
people to come and so we can I have this larger conversation
34:41
but I you know it is an amazing tool to get out of project when
34:45
I have a film come out or a book, it's a great.
34:47
It's like you have your own broadcasting network and that I
34:51
have an email list I've done for over 20 years, called Breakfast
34:54
at Tiffany's which I know you're on an any of your listeners can
34:57
sign up on my site and it's like a quarterly newsletter of cool
35:01
Book. Bin Laden and other people.
35:03
It's chock. Full of good things.
35:06
Yeah, and I love doing that. That's my most favorite form of
35:12
communication because I feel like there's more of a narrative
35:14
versus just dipping in randomly but I really go back and forth
35:19
on social media all the time. I just wrestle with it because
35:22
yeah yeah good yeah and I think I love what you're saying is I
35:28
think it goes back to what we were.
35:30
Why is that's a great way to think about it.
35:32
Be strategic. Why am I posting this?
35:35
And is it just to like connect? Then maybe there's another way
35:38
you can connect and that could mean.
35:40
You have a conversation with someone and really satisfy those
35:43
deeper. Hunger is not something I like
35:45
to teach folks partner, like noticing your yearnings and it's
35:49
probably fulfilling something. But is it really that satisfying
35:51
versus maybe doing something a little different and then
35:54
setting those boundaries what you were saying earlier.
35:56
So, great tips for that and yeah, just being being aware of
36:02
where time setting. I like to set a timer like 10
36:04
minutes, 15 minutes, even mentally in my brain, the timer
36:08
for then knowing I get off. That's a skill to look at the
36:11
time and then to change it. So thank you for there for all
36:15
of that. And so so real quick recap on
36:19
where we can find your book and those site and I'll definitely
36:23
put this up on the blog post. And then what is your your
36:28
opportunity? It sounds like let's sign up for
36:30
character day. Get the book to understand what
36:33
this can do to you for you for your life.
36:36
Like it's so much more you get, I think so because As you need
36:40
to be motivated to do this. And then, once you see how much
36:44
it's changed my life and my kid's life in my husband's life
36:47
and all of the thoughts about it.
36:49
And you really feel like, okay, I'm ready to do this, then do
36:52
the challenges. I think that's the order because
36:54
I think a lot of people try to do these digital detoxes and
36:57
they don't work but I think Looking broadly at why I feel
37:03
like this is important as a society and individually will
37:07
help set the stage to do the challenges.
37:10
Yeah. Does that make sense because I
37:13
didn't you, you could read them, you can do them concurrently.
37:16
But I do think that I do make a case for this all and I think we
37:22
all know that we need to do it, but I'm going to tell you why
37:24
you need to do it and then you'll have everything.
37:28
You'll be equipped to actually Really do it.
37:30
Well then you'll be more motivated to my senses.
37:33
So I could stand with the benefits are knowing I've heard
37:36
your story. I love learned a bunch of
37:38
insights of potentially how this is affecting the community and
37:43
my family, or what it's doing to my brain and all of that stuff.
37:47
So I'm with you and that follows to me, you know, learning
37:51
something, and then applying it, right?
37:52
It's just, that's all this is. So, very exciting and I think
37:55
this movement, yeah, I think this movement is so critical.
37:59
And especially in the Bay Area. You and I are both here.
38:02
It's so imperative and we are the ones all of us can choose to
38:07
shift it. And and dude, something
38:10
different and know that there's a choice, that's always comes
38:13
back to that. So Tiffany, thank you so much
38:16
for your shares this morning with your book, 24-6, and all of
38:22
the good things that you're coming up to with, are you going
38:25
to make a movie about the book? Or I know you've kind of made
38:28
little, oh my God. I Can't believe I didn't mention
38:31
that. So, yes, with the in the next
38:36
place month with the books launch, and with character day,
38:39
we are making Five Short two-minute film.
38:43
And I'm so excited about them, because they're each for
38:45
different audiences on why. It's a one's called dear parent.
38:48
They're all two minutes long, okay?
38:50
And then the other one is called dear students and then one's
38:55
called dear CEO. And then your And then dear
39:00
fellow human and they all are the lot.
39:03
The why? Oh, wow, I'm so excited and so
39:06
we can find that on your site as well.
39:08
Yeah. Absolutely.
39:10
Yeah. If you go yeah.
39:12
Yeah. You can again sign up for my
39:14
newsletter and you'll be alert all this stuff right?
39:17
Alright, well thank you so much Tiffany.
39:20
It was an honor to have you here today on the podcast.
39:23
Thanks for all your wisdom and looking forward to starting my
39:26
own text robots, I actually haven't done one, so I'm
39:29
excited. Cited to tell my God.
39:33
Okay. Yeah, I love the podcast, like,
39:37
makes me laugh every time where it's supposed to be.
39:53
Thanks for listening today. I'm Rachel O'Meara, the author
39:57
of pause, harnessing the life changing power of giving
40:00
yourself a break. Also, if you are struggling with
40:04
overwhelm or being stressed out at work and you're not really
40:07
sure what to do next. I invite you to download the
40:10
free guide book for the three keys to turn overwhelm into
40:16
thriving at work. This is on my website, Rachel,
40:19
O'Meara.com, and you can download it there today.
40:24
See you soon.