Shows / The Virtual Couch
The Virtual Couch
The Virtual Couch is a mental health podcast hosted by Tony Overbay, a licensed marriage and family therapist with more than two decades of experience who works with individuals and couples. Through relatable stories, practical psychology, and evidence-based tools, Tony helps listeners better understand relationships, parenting, addiction, emotional maturity, and personal growth, while also supporting those navigating faith crises and deconstruction from high-demand religions. The podcast…
Episodes
- The Virtual Couch
If You Aren't Willing to Have It (Anxiety, Fear, Doubt, Depression et al.) You Will - Understanding Acceptance
Dr. Stephen Hayes, the founder of the groundbreaking therapy technique Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), says, “If you’re not willing to have it, then…
- The Virtual Couch
What if I Don't Like Marshmallows? Revisiting the "Marshmallow Test" and other Pop-psychology "Myths"
Does smiling make you happier? Can you truly predict the long-term success of an adult based on their love, or lack thereof, of marshmallows in their youth? Is…
- The Virtual Couch
Habit, Addict or Unconscious Response? The Latest Research on Why We Do What We Do!
Did you know that more than 40 percent of everything you do is habitual? Are you addicted to your phone or social media? Or are you simply responding to a…
- The Virtual Couch
Dealing with Discomfort In Relationships...and Life!
Tony dissects a couple's potentially destructive conversation, examining discomfort and anxiety's role in our relationships. He also talks about the challenges…
- The Virtual Couch
Listen to Your Gut: What Your Tummy Tells You About Your Anxiety - Camila Smith, LCSW
Tony welcomes Camila Smith, LCSW, to the Virtual Couch. Camila is a psychotherapist, educator, and the Chief Clinical Officer of Bekome (http://joinbekome.co)…
- The Virtual Couch
McKinley Overbay - When Your Moment of Insane Courage Leads to Big Change…and a Little Bit of Throw Up
Virtual Couch favorite, and Tony's daughter, McKinley "Mackie" Overbay joins the podcast to talk about some big changes happening in her life, and how she has…
- The Virtual Couch
Eating Chocolate - An Emotional Control Strategy or a Way to Stay Present?
Exercise, meditation, prayer, and eating good food all sound like wonderful, emotional-baseline-raising activities. But depending on how you're doing them…
- The Virtual Couch
You Say Faith Crisis, I Say Faith Journey - Understanding Both Sides of the Fence of Faith
Tony shares new information from a recent speaking event addressing the challenges of navigating a faith journey. He talks about how difficult it is to…
- The Virtual Couch
10 Predictors of a Bad Romantic Relationship Explained
Tony shares and responds to the article “The 10 Best Predictors of a Bad Romantic Relationship” by Seth Gillihan, PhD…
- The Virtual Couch
Tackling Trauma - More Lessons from "The Body Keeps the Score"
"If you feel safe and loved, your brain becomes specialized in exploration, play, and cooperation; if you are frightened and unwanted, it specializes in…
- The Virtual Couch
The Psychology of the Churro - 8 Mental Health Lessons Learned from a Disneyland Christmas
Tony shares 8 mental health lessons learned from a Christmas spent at Disneyland. 1) You’ll never really know something until you experience it. 2) Churros…
- The Virtual Couch
BONUS - The ONLY Goal Setting Episode You'll Ever Need w/Neal Hooper, Creator of The Achievement Tribe
Happy New Year! Whether or not you may be thinking about setting New Year’s resolutions or goals, or you absolutely detest the entire concept around goals and…
- The Virtual Couch
The Fun Habit - An Examination of Modern Approaches to Happiness w/Michael Rucker Ph.D.
Tony interviews Michael Rucker, Ph.D. In 2016, Michael experienced a series of serious setbacks that caused him to challenge the tools he had built over the…
- The Virtual Couch
Whether You Can or Can't You Are Correct! Exploring the Expectation Effect w/Nate Christensen APCC
Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.” Tony Overbay, LMFT, welcomes Nate Christensen, APCC, back to the Virtual…
- The Virtual Couch
The Very Most Bestest Way to Change - aka Cognitive Flexibility
Tony tackles an essential skill needed for lasting change, "cognitive flexibility," from the book ACT Made Simple - Second Edition by Russ Harris…
- The Virtual Couch
Hold Up, I Can't Do That...Says Who? Losing our Limiting Beliefs
You can't run marathons after 50! You can't change your career after you've invested so much time and energy into it! Dads don't get all up in their feelings!…
- The Virtual Couch
ACT Helps You Do Life Better - Period! Dr. Michael Twohig on Anxiety, OCD, Trauma, and More
Dr. Michael Twohig joins Tony to talk about his early involvement in the then “new kid on the psychology block,” acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). Dr…
- The Virtual Couch
Gratitude Makes You Poop!
The science is solid; gratitude makes you poop! We often hear that we need to be more grateful to truly be happy. Is gratitude simply born of pop-psychology…
- The Virtual Couch
Waving the White Flag Against Violent Communication - A Waking Up to Narcissism Crossover Episode
Thanks for a slight error in uploading the correct file on Tony's "Waking Up to Narcissism" podcast; he shares the correct episode as a "crossover" on The…
- The Virtual Couch
Reaction vs. Response - How to “Slow Your Roll”
When met with an unexpected situation, do you react or respond? And what is the difference? According to Dr. Matt James, while some people use the words…
- The Virtual Couch
The Benefits of Being Authentic, Healthy Ego vs Narcissism, and Non-Violent Communication
How do you know what you don’t know? Tony shares an example of what it feels like to speak to a group of people when you seek validation versus speaking…
- The Virtual Couch
Preston Pugmire on Discovering Your Mission, Values, and Purpose
Preston Pugmire is the host of the Next Level Life podcast, an award-winning life coach, and co-creator of The Magnetic Marriage couples communication course…
- The Virtual Couch
Attention ALL Parents! Part 2 - Navigating the "Family System," the Role of "Presence and Radiance" and You Really Are Trying Your Best!
Part 2 Tony discusses the challenges of modern-day parenting youth who have grown up with technology at their fingertips from birth. He reads a question from a…
- The Virtual Couch
Attention ALL Parents! Parenting IS More Difficult These Days - Here's Why and What to Do (Part 1)
Tony talks about the challenges of parenting modern-day youth who have grown up with technology at their fingertips from birth. He discusses the information he…
- The Virtual Couch
Stop Being So Clingy! Why Anxiously Attached People Can Be Exhaustingly Amazing!
Tony explains what it means to be anxiously attached and how emotionally draining it is to be in a relationship with someone who has an anxious attachment…
- The Virtual Couch
Exploring a Better Way to Think About Your Thoughts
Tony shares his thoughts on how to think better about how you think. You think the thoughts you do because you're the only version of you ever to walk the…
- The Virtual Couch
Monica Tanner on the "Secrets of Happily Ever After" in Marriage
Monica Tanner, the host of the Secrets of Happily Ever After podcast, joins Tony to talk about the secrets of achieving "happily ever after" in your marriage…
- The Virtual Couch
Therapy, Narcissistic Leaders, and Healthy Ego - Kurt Francom Interviews Tony Overbay on Leading Saints
Tony Overbay, LMFT, was interviewed by Kurt Francom, executive director of LeadingSaints.org and the Leading Saints podcast host. They covered the topics of…
- The Virtual Couch
Don't Go to Bed Angry, A Penny Saved is a Penny Earned, Don't Judge - Debunking Modern Day Proverbs
Is it truly better to stay up until all hours of the morning while reaching the depths of sleep deprivation to "work things out" with your spouse, or should…
- The Virtual Couch
Finally THE Blueprint for Happiness (part 1 of 2)
Tony shares part 1 of a 2-part podcast on his "blueprint to happiness." Tony goes back to the beginning, YOUR beginning, as he starts from birth in describing…
- The Virtual Couch
What it Feels Like to Be YOU (And Why So Many People Think They Know YOU Better Than YOU!)
YOU are truly one-of-a-kind, the only version of YOU that ever walked the face of the earth. And because of that, you truly feel, think and behave the way you…
- The Virtual Couch
The Secret to Emotional Growth and Maturity w/Nate Christensen, APCC
Tony welcomes Nate Christensen, APCC and host of the podcast "Working Change," with his wife Marla…
- The Virtual Couch
Alana and Luke Gordon On Navigating Betrayal Trauma - Love, Honesty and Control (You Can Only Pick 2)
Alana Gordon and her husband Luke share their story of the highs and lows of navigating a marriage after discovering Luke’s pornography and sex addiction. They…
- The Virtual Couch
Examining 4 Marriage Myths - From Russ Harris's Book "ACT With Love"
Tony talks about his "aha" moment when attending a wedding over the past weekend of why marriages begin with a lot of pressure and unrealized expectations that…
- The Virtual Couch
You Are What You Think...Or You Think What You Are? Looking at Implicit vs Explicit Memory
Does it really matter what you do throughout the day concerning your mental health? Tony tackles the impact of implicit memory and how the "flow of experience…
- The Virtual Couch
The Positive Aspects of Negativity - Why Dissatisfaction is Hardwired
With all of the amazing advances in technology, the increased awareness of our mental health, and apps, shows, programs, and therapists at our fingertips, why…
- The Virtual Couch
Therapy Tips For When You Can't See a Therapist (featuring The Angry Therapist)
Tony shares his thoughts on John Kim's, aka "The Angry Therapist" article "7 Tips for Dealing with Life if You Can't Afford a Therapist,"…
- The Virtual Couch
Why It's Important to Forgive but Not Necessarily to Forget
We've all heard the old adage, "you need to forgive and forget." But how hard is it to try to forget something that someone has done to you that causes you…
- The Virtual Couch
Creating Intimacy vs. Seeking Validation in Marriage, Exploring our “Shadows” and Narcissism or Emotional Immaturity w/ Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife
Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife makes her 4th appearance on the Virtual Couch podcast! Tony and Jennifer discuss the difference between coaching and therapy…
- The Virtual Couch
13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do - Amy Morin, LCSW
Tony discusses Amy Morin, LCSW's article "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do."…
- The Virtual Couch
How To Turn Big Emotions into Healing - Taming Your Trauma
Sometimes we don't realize how childhood trauma can show up in adulthood. Even the most supportive parents often tell children "not to worry about it," or…
- The Virtual Couch
Understanding Emotional Invalidation - Why Some People Don't Feel Safe in Conversations
Understanding Emotional Invalidation - Why Some People Don't Feel Safe in Conversations. Tony refers to the article What Is Emotional Invalidation by Brittany…
- The Virtual Couch
Doomscrolling! When You Just Can't Stop Scrolling Through The Ick!
Tony explains "Doomscrolling," or when one feels like they can't break loose from continually scrolling through newsfeeds, or social media despite the fact…
- The Virtual Couch
Sorry...I'm Probably Saying This Wrong! Understanding Rejection Sensitivity
Have you ever felt like you were anticipating rejection as you approached a person, or situation that you believed truly mattered to you? If so, you may be…
- The Virtual Couch
Shame, Shame Go Away...And Don't Come Back Another Day!
Why do we often default to shame? Tony Overbay, LMFT, often says that in working with individuals trying to overcome addiction or trying to be the very best…
- The Virtual Couch
Virtual Couch Bookclub - Tony and Nate Christensen, APCC Review "Dopamine Nation," by Anna Lembke
Nate Christensen, APCC and host of the Working Change podcast, joins Tony to discuss "Dopamine Nation, Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence" by Anna Lembke…
- The Virtual Couch
How to Improve Your Marriage in 45 Minutes or Less - Understanding Influence vs. Control
What is the difference between influence, control, and love? Is there room in a relationship to influence your partner, or do you simply need to let them be?…
- The Virtual Couch
Stop Trying to Think You're Way Out of a Thinking Problem
Is it better to try and think your way out of, or through your problems or are you only making things worse? How can simply acknowledging your issues, and…
- The Virtual Couch
Do You Want Advice, or Do You Want Validation?
Tony asks the question, are you really looking for advice or validation? Tony reads Hunter S. Thompson's iconic "Letter on Finding Your Purpose and Living a…
- The Virtual Couch
Hope in Healing - Working w/Couples Through Betrayal, Pornography and Shame w/Sam Tielemans LMFT
Tony welcomes therapist and friend Sam Tielemans, LMFT, to the Virtual Couch. They cover topics from shame's role in furthering addictive behaviors to why…
- The Virtual Couch
Alexa's Road to Recovery - My Daughter Alexa Shares the Struggles of Recovering from a Devastating Accident
On Saturday, February 5th, my daughter, Alexa, drove to the gym after completing a week in the externship of her dreams. She was just a few months shy of…
- The Virtual Couch
BONUS Discussing Depression with Professional Comedian Paul Gilmartin - Host of the Mental Illness Happy Hour
Paul Gilmartin, comedian, and host of the Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast talks about his own struggles with depression, what led him to start his podcast…
- The Virtual Couch
Sure You're Cute, But Can We Talk? - Rediscovering the Levels of Intimacy
Tony revisits the "Levels of Intimacy." Physical attraction may be enough to bring a couple together initially but is it enough to sustain a relationship when…
- The Virtual Couch
Analysis Paralysis - When Not Making a Choice is the Choice You Make
Have you ever felt overwhelmed by the number of options in front of you? Whether it is what show to begin on Netflix, Hulu, Prime, or HBO, what major you…
- The Virtual Couch
A Marriage Therapist's 11 Tips for a Happier Marriage
After working with well over 1,000 couples as a marriage therapist, Tony Overbay, LMFT, gives his top 11 tips to a happier marriage. If you are interested in…
- The Virtual Couch
Have You Ever Wondered if YOU Have ADHD? Exploring the 7 Types of ADD/ADHD
Tony gives an update on his personal journey with Attention Deficit Disorder. Tony discusses the 7 types of ADD from Daniel Amen's book "Healing ADD - The…
- The Virtual Couch
Tony's Pre-Therapy Check List w/Bonus "Why Are Relationships Complicated?"
Recently, Tony had a couple of clients return to his couch after a several-year gap. One client asked Tony if he could sum up everything that the client had…
- The Virtual Couch
Why We Need People - The Rules for Constructive Communication
Tony dives into the research of why we need connection with others from Sue Johnson's book "Hold Me Tight." And he then shares his Rules Of Constructive…
- The Virtual Couch
Lessons Learned Through Tragedy (At Least Until a Time Machine is Invented)
Is tragedy necessary for growth? Tony shares his personal experience of trying to navigate the complex emotions around a car crash involving his daughter Alexa…
- The Virtual Couch
Dealing With Things You Don't Want To Deal With - Psychological Flexibility
Do you often find yourself in situations or circumstances that you never asked for? If so, a) you are a human being, and b) there are tools available that can…