Shows / The Virtual Couch
The Virtual Couch
The Virtual Couch is a mental health podcast hosted by Tony Overbay, a licensed marriage and family therapist with more than two decades of experience who works with individuals and couples. Through relatable stories, practical psychology, and evidence-based tools, Tony helps listeners better understand relationships, parenting, addiction, emotional maturity, and personal growth, while also supporting those navigating faith crises and deconstruction from high-demand religions. The podcast…
Episodes
- The Virtual Couch
Right? Wrong? It's All About Context!
Tony shares how understanding context can help one understand others. Tony references the article "The Importance of Context when Diagnosing Mental Disorders"…
- The Virtual Couch
Let's Have a Positive Discussion about Voldemort...I Mean Pornography (part 1 of 2)
Tony shares his thoughts on how to best talk about a topic that carries with it so much fear, guilt, and shame...pornography! In part 1 of 2, Tony talks about…
- The Virtual Couch
The Dangerous Dance of the Avoidant/Anxiously Attached Couple
Over time, many couples find themselves in a familiar pursue/withdrawal relationship. One partner may feel like they are doing everything in the relationship…
- The Virtual Couch
The Need for Self-Care w/Suzanne Falter - Podcast Host and Author of "The Extremely Busy Woman's Guide to Self-Care"
Tony interviews award-winning author and podcast host Suzanne Falter. They discuss the importance of self-care and the touching story of Suzanne's daughter…
- The Virtual Couch
What Have We Learned in 2021? Communication, Differentiation, and You Don't Know What You Don't Know!
Tony shares 4 of his top takeaways from another year of podcasting, including a quick review of his 4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation, how important it is…
- The Virtual Couch
The ONLY Goal Setting Episode You'll Ever Need w/Neal Hooper host of The Happiness Playbook
Neal Hooper, the host of The Happiness Playbook podcast and creator of The Achievement Tribe, a comprehensive goal achievement experience, joins Tony to talk…
- The Virtual Couch
All Up in Your Feelings? One Simple Tool to Get Out of Your Head and Back into Your Life!
Have you ever found yourself all “up in your feelings?” Or how often do you feel angry, frustrated, depressed, or anxious? One of the most beneficial things…
- The Virtual Couch
Why Wanting to Be Happy May Backfire
Happiness, as one client shared, is like the carrot at the end of a stick, and you’re holding the stick. The more effort you take in trying to reach the…
- The Virtual Couch
Night Owl vs Morning Lark - When Is the Best Time to Make a Decision?
What is the best time of day to make a decision? And what are the differences between morning “larks” vs night owls when it comes to decision making? Is one…
- The Virtual Couch
Seeing is Believing? No, it’s the Other Way Around! Plus Many More Fascinating Facts About Our Minds w/Nate Christensen, APCC
Nate Christensen, APCC, makes his record fourth appearance on The Virtual Couch to talk more about our minds and the stories they tell us to try and make sense…
- The Virtual Couch
Why Opposites Don't Attract PLUS Tony's New Parenting Course is Part of Nate Bagley's Relationship Mastery Pack!
Tony shares why opposites don't attract in the long run and why ultimately we like people who are more similar to us. PLUS Nate Bagley, relationship researcher…
- The Virtual Couch
Why We Care What Others Think - The Need for External Validation
Tony explores why where the need for external validation comes from. Why do we care what others think? And why the need for external validation is the opposite…
- The Virtual Couch
Now It Makes More Sense! How Context Creates Connected Conversations
Each of us is a unique mixture of life experiences, and we bring all of those experiences into our conversations with others. In today's episode, Tony explores…
- The Virtual Couch
Am I the Narcissist? Exploring Narcissistic Traits and Tendencies (from the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast)
Tony introduces his latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism." In this crossover episode, Tony shares that narcissistic tendencies or traits can come in many…
- The Virtual Couch
Hey, I Love The Way You're Reading The Title of This Episode - Why We Need More Compliments in Our Lives
Are compliments ever a bad thing? And how important is the delivery of a compliment? Are people genuinely going over your compliments with a spell checker and…
- The Virtual Couch
Did You Hear the Latest? Psychologists Say Gossip is a Social Skill!
Tony talks about gossip as a social skill. According to the article, "Psychologists say that gossiping is a social skill. Here's how to know if you're doing it…
- The Virtual Couch
How Certain Are You? Exploring Memory Through Popular Myths
How certain are you about the facts of your experiences? Better yet, does it truly matter to be certain? Would you rather be right, or would you rather…
- The Virtual Couch
Tony Speaking at Leading Saints LIVE October 16, 2021 - Narrowing the Gap w/God, Mental Health, Faith Journeys, Communication and More!
Tony will be speaking at the Leading Saints LIVE event on October 16th, 2021, from 1:00 PM to 5:00 PM at the Wallsburg Town Hall, 70 W Main Canyon Road…
- The Virtual Couch
To Be Heard Is To Be Healed - Connecting the 4 Pillars of Communication
Tony describes in detail how his "4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation" works, including how to apply the 4 Pillars in any conversation where you feel stuck…
- The Virtual Couch
Give Yourself A Little Grace, Change Takes Time!
Despite what you hear from the self-help world change takes time, so it is important to give yourself a little more grace. If beating yourself up was the key…
- The Virtual Couch
The Need to Finish Things Meets Procrastination - How the Ziegarnik Effect Impacts Mental Health
Tony talks about why unfinished tasks take up so much emotional energy and why, even with this knowledge, it can be so challenging to begin even the most…
- The Virtual Couch
What's Stopping You? Discovering the "You" in Be-You-Tiful w/McKinley Overbay
Tony welcomes his daughter McKinley (Mackie) back to The Virtual Couch. Mackie talks about what it took for her to shed the “shoulds” in her life, “you should…
- The Virtual Couch
How to Be Happy...Scientifically Speaking
Tony breaks down Douglas Kenrick, PhD's article "7 Scientifically Supported Steps to Happiness,"…
- The Virtual Couch
How to Rebuild Trust w/ Geoff Steurer, LMFT Host of From Crisis to Connection
Geoff Steurer, LMFT talks with Tony about how to rebuild trust in a relationship even after situations that couples believed they would a) never stand for in…
- The Virtual Couch
Why Am I the Last Person to Know What to Do with My Life?
If you want to know what you need to do with your life, ask somebody close to you. Chances are they'll immediately have an opinion. But when they do share what…
- The Virtual Couch
Take Control Of Your Own Life w/Preston Pugmire Host of Next Level Life
Tony welcomes Magnetic Marriage co-creator Preston Pugmire, host of the Next Level Life Podcast, and award-winning life coach, onto the show to talk about the…
- The Virtual Couch
Let Your Values Guide You to Happiness, Purpose, and Connection
Tony shares why values are so important, and how a thought truly is simply a thought...thoughts do not always lead to action. He also describes the most…
- The Virtual Couch
Putting the Light Into Gaslight - Exploring the 4 Types of Gaslighting
The phrase "gaslighting" is making the rounds lately, and with the increased awareness around the term, many people are accusing their spouses, parents, and…
- The Virtual Couch
All You Need is Love...But What Kind of Love? Simplifying Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love
In English, we use the word love to describe a variety of emotional states. Are we talking about passionate love, intimate love, committed love, unconditional…
- The Virtual Couch
What I Did During My Summer Vacation (aka A Therapist's Take on Disneyland)
Tony talks about the mental health and life lessons learned on a recent trip to Disneyland, including the brain’s fascination with anticipation vs. reward, the…
- The Virtual Couch
Your Brain Doesn't Have a Delete Button - A Thought is a Thought, a Feeling is a Feeling
What do you do with those pesky unwanted, irrational, and sometimes downright inappropriate or scary thoughts? Hint - trying to stop them, push them away, or…
- The Virtual Couch
You Can Have Control, or Love...Pick One
In adult relationships, you can have control or love, but not both. In today’s episode, Tony takes a look at the concept of control. While control may be…
- The Virtual Couch
The Super Power of Struggle! Modeling a Growth vs. Fixed Mindset Sets Your Kids Up for Greater Success
Want to help your kids succeed? Let them see you struggle, let them see you fail, let them know you are human! Tony talks about a fascinating study out of MIT…
- The Virtual Couch
Healing From Betrayal Trauma with Brannon Patrick, Host of The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert
Tony talks about processing betrayal trauma with Brannon Patrick. Brannon Patrick is an expert in the field of Betrayal Trauma, and he plays the role of "the…
- The Virtual Couch
Whose Life Are You Really Living? A Deep Dive into Differentiation
Tony discusses the 4 Steps of Differentiation from the article "Psychological Differentiation" from https://www.psychalive.org/psychological-differentiation/…
- The Virtual Couch
How Attachment Styles Effect Relationships, Addiction, and more w/Nate Christensen APCC
Nate Christensen, APCC, joins Tony to discuss attachment styles and how they relate to addiction, and how attachment shows up in marriage. Out of the various…
- The Virtual Couch
Ladders Make Crummy Shovels - 3 Metaphors That Lead to a Lifetime of Happiness
Have you ever felt like you’re in a vicious game of tug-of-war with the struggles in your life? Afraid that if you don’t pull hard enough you’ll fall into the…
- The Virtual Couch
Acceptance Doesn't Mean Apathy - Tony Overbay's ACT Presentation at the Mentally Healthy Saints Virtual Summit
Kurt Francom, podcast host, and executive director of Leading Saints, takes over The Virtual Couch to share a recent interview that Tony did for their…
- The Virtual Couch
Did I Just Have A Heart Attack? How to Make Change Last.
Tony talks about a recent health scare "wait, am I seriously having a heart attack?" and how that led to his desire to be more present, grateful and to make…
- The Virtual Couch
Highly Sensitive People (HSP) of the World Unite...I Mean if You Want To, If Not It's Totally OK!
Do you often find yourself feeling emotionally invested in other people, movies, and TV shows? Do you feel like you take on the emotional state of those around…
- The Virtual Couch
Ten Commandments of Managing Depression w/Nate Christensen APCC
Nate Christensen, APCC (working under the clinical supervision of Tony Overbay, LMFT) shares his personal journey in living with depression and shares his "Ten…
- The Virtual Couch
How Many Positive Comments Does it Take So I Can Say Something Mean?
You've been patient, you've praised, but at what point can you finally let someone know how you really feel? Tony talks about Gottman's "The Magic Relationship…
- The Virtual Couch
How To Both Love AND Guide Your Kids - Implementing Occam's Razor in Parenting
Occam's razor is the theory that given a choice between two hypotheses, the one involving fewer assumptions should be preferred. So why do we unconsciously and…
- The Virtual Couch
3 Takeaways From The World Happiness Report
Tony shares his takeaways from Mark Travers, Ph.D. article from Psychologytoday.com “3 Happiness Tips From This Year’s World Happiness Report.”…
- The Virtual Couch
What Does Kindness Have In Common With the Arterial Health of Rabbits?
Everything you ever wanted to know about kindness can be learned from...rabbits. On today’s episode Tony talks about kindness, and how Dr. Robert Nerem…
- The Virtual Couch
BONUS Sexuality Counselor Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife on Partner Desirability Hi/Low Desire Relationships
In this special BONUS episode of Tony's top-10 most downloaded episodes of all time on the Virtual Couch, Sexuality and Relationship Counselor Dr. Jennifer…
- The Virtual Couch
How to Embrace Positive Tension In Your Relationship - Part 3 of 3 of the Magnetic Marriage Review
In part 3 of their 3 part series, Tony and Magnetic Marriage co-creator Preston Pugmire, give the final “ingredients” to creating a truly Magnetic…
- The Virtual Couch
Can Empathy Be Taught or Learned? How to Teach Empathy to Your Kids BONUS
Empathy has become a big buzzword over the past few years, and, chances are you’ve wondered if your spouse, your kids, or your boss lacks empathy altogether?…
- The Virtual Couch
Communicating With Connected Conversation Scripts (CCS)
Did you know that there is an actual conversation script that can help you become connected to your spouse? Yeah, Tony didn’t know that there was one…
- The Virtual Couch
BONUS The "Origin Story" of Jody Moore - Virtual Couch Top 10 Episode Series
Tony begins a series of bonus episodes by airing some of the most downloaded/listened to episodes over the past 4 years of hosting The Virtual Couch podcast…
- The Virtual Couch
Magnetic Marriage Course Round 2 Coming Soon! How to Improve Your Marriage w/Preston Pugmire Part 1 of 3
Are you ready to take your marriage from mediocre to magnetic? Even if you don’t feel like your marriage is suffering, Tony believes that there is always room…
- The Virtual Couch
Hold Me Tight! Conversations For a Lifetime of Love
Tony shares the foundational principles of Dr. Sue Johnson's Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT/EFCT) from her book "Hold Me Tight." Tony referenced a…
- The Virtual Couch
If You've EVER Been Angry This Episode Is For YOU!
We all get angry, but what do you do with that anger? Is it healthy to express your anger? If so, in what way? Should you punch a pillow, or a punching bag? Or…
- The Virtual Couch
Cleaning Up Physical and Emotional Clutter w/Anna, Professional Organizer
What impedes progress more...physical clutter or emotional clutter? Or is the answer “C, all of the above?” Tony interviews Anna, a professional home organizer…
- The Virtual Couch
It's Time to Make Some Adult Decisions! Everything You Need to Know About Differentiation
Do you ever find yourself caught up in emotions so fast that you feel like you can’t think logically? Well, the good news is, you’re human! For most of us, we…
- The Virtual Couch
Tips for Tackling Anxiety aka Bless Your Brain's Little Pink Squishy Heart!
Tony tackles the touchy topic of anxiety and gives tips on what to do when you're feeling anxious. You can watch this interview on YouTube here…
- The Virtual Couch
Jessica Frew On Living a BOLD Life - Co-host of the Husband in Law Podcast
Jessica Frew truly lives a BOLD life. She is an author (https://theboldlogic.com/free-book), podcast host of the very real, raw, and funny podcast Husband in…
- The Virtual Couch
From Codependent to Interdependent - Keys To a Thriving Relationship
The term codependent is often used incorrectly in relationships. Yes, codependency, or needing external sources, things, or even people to give one a feeling…
- The Virtual Couch
You're Coming to My Birthday Party! More on the Magnet Marriage's 4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation
Tony shows how putting the 4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation, one of the key components of his Magnetic Marriage Course (http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic)…
- The Virtual Couch
How To Get "Unstuck" - Understanding ACT's Pain of Presence and Absence
Feeling stuck? Tony has the answers. Using Dr. Steven Hayes book Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life (https://amzn.to/3cBAw8Z) as his guide, Tony talks…