Shows / The Virtual Couch
The Virtual Couch
The Virtual Couch is a mental health podcast hosted by Tony Overbay, a licensed marriage and family therapist with more than two decades of experience who works with individuals and couples. Through relatable stories, practical psychology, and evidence-based tools, Tony helps listeners better understand relationships, parenting, addiction, emotional maturity, and personal growth, while also supporting those navigating faith crises and deconstruction from high-demand religions. The podcast…
Episodes
- The Virtual Couch
Take Your Marriage From Mediocre to Magnetic
Do you want to know what's worse than divorce? How about running a daycare with someone you used to date and calling that a marriage? Do you feel like you and…
- The Virtual Couch
Birth Order and the Impact on Personality (aka Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!)
How important is family birth order in creating your personality? Tony references the article “Birth Order Traits: Your Guide to Sibling Personality…
- The Virtual Couch
Be a Guide, not the Hero: How to Model Empathy, Build Inner Wealth, and Put a Stop to Shame Based Parenting!
Are you in need of a parenting upgrade? Even from the most well-intentioned parents, our kids can still walk away from key parenting moments feeling shame…
- The Virtual Couch
Parents Just Don’t Understand - A Guidebook For Today’s Teenager
Today Tony shares some mind-blowing data about “kids these days” gathered from a couple of consulting jobs with extremely large companies who are losing young…
- The Virtual Couch
Slow and Steady Wins the Race, Except in a Real Race - Using the Power of Story, and Analogy for Good, Not for Manipulation!
Using the power of story, or a colorful analogy can be an amazing way to help someone understand what YOU are going through. But often story and analogy are…
- The Virtual Couch
I See You 2021 Are You Ready To Thrive, Or Simply Survive?
Well, life has truly handed you lemons, not just one or two, but a truck full of lemons has backed up to your driveway and not even rang your doorbell and…
- The Virtual Couch
Testing a Dating Hypothesis with Tony's Friend Nathan, featuring..Can You Trust an Online Dating Profile?
Tony welcomes his friend Nathan to The Virtual Couch to talk about dating. Why is it so difficult at times to muster up enough strength to date, how to…
- The Virtual Couch
Acceptance Equals Awesome, NOT Apathy
Acceptance can be both liberating and confusing. To accept that you may not be a professional baseball playing astronaut who marries a supermodel and lives in…
- The Virtual Couch
Here’s How You TRULY Connect! (aka The Consequences of Crummy Communication)
Tony talks about how to get to the deeper parts of a conversation with your spouse using his 4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation. Without the right…
- The Virtual Couch
Using Tiny Habits To Bring About Large Changes with Abby Green
With the New Year soon approaching, it’s time to talk habits! Inevitably millions of people will start to look at creating new habits, and breaking old ones…
- The Virtual Couch
When You Feel Like You’re Trying More Than Your Spouse w/Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife (Plus When Narcissistic Traits Show Up in Marriage)
Relationship and sexuality expert Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-fife (http://finlayson-fife.com) returns for her 3rd time to the Virtual Couch! On today’s episode…
- The Virtual Couch
Liar, Liar Pants on Fire! Telling the Truth About Compulsive, Pathological and White Lies
Liar, Liar Pants On Fire! Do you lie? Come on, we all do right? Or do we? What’s the difference between a pathological liar, a compulsive liar, and somebody…
- The Virtual Couch
Managing Marital Entropy...Why Doing Something, ANYTHING For Your Marriage...is Better Than Nothing At All!
For most of us, when we think of our marital relationships our minds don’t immediately go to the second law of thermodynamics, or entropy, but according to…
- The Virtual Couch
I Think, Therefore I Am...I Think...Can You Control Your Thoughts? W/Bonus Analysis Paralysis
Have you ever heard that you can somewhat easily choose to be happy by simply switching all your thoughts from unhappy, to happy? Sure, that sounds fantastic…
- The Virtual Couch
Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, Relationship And Sexuality Counselor On The Roles of Sexuality In Marriage REPLAY
Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-fife (www.finlayson-fife.com) a popular relationship and sexuality counselor, joins Tony on the podcast to talk about the challenges…
- The Virtual Couch
Making The Best of That 3-Legged Chair In Your Mind...Thoughts, It's All About Context
What if your thoughts, even ones that you previously considered to be negative, harmful, unproductive, or even toxic, when put into context weren’t the…
- The Virtual Couch
My Bad! Learning the Power Behind Personal Accountability!
My bad! These two simple words can do more to diffuse a potentially charged situation than almost any other in the English language. Personal accountability is…
- The Virtual Couch
You Should Know That Cognitive Distortions Never Work, Yet You Always Use Them!
Do you always feel like you’re never going to get what you want? Do you continuously find yourself thinking, “I should have done that differently?” (Knowing…
- The Virtual Couch
Restoring Trust, Gaslighting, What if I DO Know Better? You Say Impulsion and I Say Compulsion? Your Questions, Tony's Answers!
How can a couple rebuild trust in a marriage? Is gaslighting really as big of a problem as people make it out to be...come on, really? (See what I did…
- The Virtual Couch
BONUS Understanding the 5 Love Languages
In this special BONUS episode, and in preparation for the coming announcement of Tony's upcoming Magnetic Marriage communication course, he tackles the…
- The Virtual Couch
Can You Truly Fake It Until You Make It? Putting The Expectation Effect in Action!
Years ago a fascinating study was conducted where two groups of people were randomly assigned some rats. One group was told that their rats were “Maze-bright,”…
- The Virtual Couch
Is Self-care Self-ish? That Would Be a Big, Fat NO! Diving Deep into Your Emotional Baseline
Is self-care self-ish? Or is self-care an absolute necessity in order to put yourself in a position to succeed in any, and we’re talking ANYTHING you want to…
- The Virtual Couch
Is Pornography Addiction Real? Everything You Wanted to Know (And Didn't Know You Wanted To Know) About Porn Addiction
Tony tackles the topic of pornography today in a completely strength-based, hold-the-shame, become the person you always wanted to be way. He addresses the…
- The Virtual Couch
It's Time to Start Your Own Podcast! Rachel Nielson of 3 in 30 and Monica Packer of About Progress Discuss Podcast U!
Rachel Nielson, host of the 3 in 30 Takeaways For Mom’s Podcast (https://3in30podcast.com/) and Monica Packer, host of the About Progress Podcast…
- The Virtual Couch
Hold On to Your Hippocampus - The Impact of Narcissistic Abuse On The Brain
It’s true that the diagnosis of narcissism is being handed out a bit too liberally, but this toxic personality disorder definitely does exist, with some…
- The Virtual Couch
Kick Those Bad Habits to the Curb...and No White Knuckling It!
It's time to break some old habits and create some new ones...the good kind! Tony covers Richard Jerome's Realsimple.com article "Yes, You Can Kick That Bad…
The Virtual CouchEverything I've Learned From The Therapist Chair - The Trilogy (Pt3)
Tony covers items 11 through 14 of his ever-growing list of “Everything I Know,” aka all of the things he’s learned from the therapist’s chair. In today’s…
- The Virtual Couch
Julie Lee, Author of "I See You" How Compassion and Connection Save Lives
Tony welcomes Julie Lee, author of “I See You” back to The Virtual Couch. Julie talks about the surprising series of events that led to the writing of her…
- The Virtual Couch
Human/Sex Trafficking, How to Protect Your Family with Leonard, Former Inmate
Tony interviews Leonard, a former inmate, and medical professional, who was recently released from jail where he learned a tremendous amount of information on…
- The Virtual Couch
Everything I've Learned From The Therapist Chair The B-sides
Tony covers 7 through 10 of his ever-growing list of “Everything I Know,” aka all of the things he’s learned from his therapist’s chair. In today’s episode he…
- The Virtual Couch
Everything I've Learned From The Therapist Chair: Side 1
Tony covers items 1 through 6 of his ever-growing list of “Everything I Know,” aka all of the things he’s learned from his therapist’s chair. In today’s…
- The Virtual Couch
The Keys to Fixing a Broken Heart
Don’t you know that breaking up, is, hard to do? Hopefully you were singing that to the tune of the Neal Sedaka hit of the same name that was first released in…
- The Virtual Couch
How To Respond To Someone In Need
What do you say when somebody turns to you in their time of need? It may sound simple, but in reality, there’s a chance that your thoughts and phrases of…
- The Virtual Couch
How Trauma Impacts Us All - The Body Keeps The Score Review Pt1
Tony reviews the life-changing book The Body Keeps the Score, by Bessel van der Kolk M.D. https://amzn.to/2VUcMEd “Trauma is a fact of life…one in five…
- The Virtual Couch
Emotions Aren't The Boss Of You! Using Expansion To Master Anger, Fear, Sadness and More
Anger, sadness, frustration, fear, loneliness…any one of these emotions can cause one to feel off their game to the point that they may start singing the…
- The Virtual Couch
Is Your Mess Causing Your Stress?
Take a quick look around your room, your office, or even your car. What do you see? Do you find yourself staring at the same piles of paper, or half-completed…
- The Virtual Couch
How to Avoid Drama...Are you a Persecutor, a Rescuer or a Victim? Understanding the Karpman Drama Triangle
For most of us, we will do almost anything to avoid drama, even to the detriment of our personal and professional relationships. Yet at times, even the most…
- The Virtual Couch
Why Can it Be So Difficult To Understand The Plight of Others? Understanding The Ego
Right now we need to be able to listen, empathize and understand our brothers and sisters more than ever...but why can that be so difficult at times? Even when…
- The Virtual Couch
Coach Charles Gazaway on Mentoring Youth, Race in Sports and Surviving a Kidney/Pancreas Transplant - BONUS Episode
In light of all of the events of the past week surrounding the horrific death of George Floyd and the protests and demands for change that have sprung forth…
- The Virtual Couch
Monica Packer, Host of About Progress, On Battling Through Perfectionism and Procrastination
From her website, http://aboutprogress.com, Monica Packer is a recovering perfectionist, a podcaster, and a Progress Coach. She also has a very successful…
- The Virtual Couch
Stages of Life, Stages of Faith, Stages of Change!
In the 1980s James Fowler, Professor of Theology and Human Development at Emory University and director of both the Center for Research on Faith and Moral…
- The Virtual Couch
Stop Running From Uncomfortable Thoughts, Feelings and Emotions...How to Face the “Fear Trap”
No one likes to feel bad...or sad, or afraid or anxious or uncertain, or so many other uncomfortable feelings. And what do you do when you start thinking…
- The Virtual Couch
Attorney Paul Hoybjerg On Recognizing and Addressing Emotional, Sexual and Physical Abuse
Attorney, and friend, Paul Hoybjerg joins Tony to talk about how we can better protect our children from sexual abuse. Paul is a partner in a Sacramento…
- The Virtual Couch
The Elephant and the Rider, the Key to Managing Behavior, and Emotions
Do you ever feel like you’re simply not in control of your emotions? You’re not alone. At times we may feel like our emotions are charging forward like a 6-ton…
- The Virtual Couch
Nate Bagley, Relationship Researcher on The Epic Wives Experiment
Nate Bagley is a relationship researcher, and his goal is to rid the world of mediocre love. Nate’s work has been published by ABC, the Gottman Institute, The…
- The Virtual Couch
Episode 200! Tony Tells All...Baseball, Boating Accidents and the Tiger King!
To celebrate the 200th episode of The Virtual Couch Podcast, former guest and author Joshua Shea (Tony's co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert…
- The Virtual Couch
Much Ado About Anxiety, and Why Ignoring Anxiety Only Makes It Angry!
Most likely you don't even have to start thinking about all of the stressors in your life right now to feel that familiar pang of anxiety. Does your heart feel…
- The Virtual Couch
The Quarantine Kids Are Back! Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Life In Quarantine Featuring Tony’s Family!
Tony welcomes his wife (that’s right, for the first time in 198 episodes Tony’s wife Wendy joins the podcast!) along with his oldest daughter Alexa, 22, and…
- The Virtual Couch
BONUS Narcissism 101 Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Narcissistic Personality Disorder
There’s a lot of talk in the news of narcissism. Many people in powerful positions, i.e. politicians, actors, CEOs of large companies, appear to be impervious…
- The Virtual Couch
Sleep Or Stress, Which Came First? Tips to Lowering Cortisol Levels for Better Sleep
Day is night, night is day! For most of us, we need a bit of a reason to get out of bed in the morning, whether it's heading to a job, getting the kids ready…
- The Virtual Couch
Couples Communication Tune Up Time! More Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples
As we continue to shelter in place, quarantine, spend more time in closed quarters with our loved ones, the need for productive communication is even more…
- The Virtual Couch
It's Going To Be OK! Managing Worry and Doubt During Distressing Times
If you're human, you've experienced worry. But sometimes it can be more difficult than others to set those worries aside and continue doing what you need to do…
- The Virtual Couch
The Invisible Gorilla And Other Fascinating Psychological Experiments
Can memories be implanted? What would you do if smoke began billowing from underneath a door and everyone around you acted like nothing unusual was happening?…
- The Virtual Couch
Decreasing Anxiety During Anxious Times w/Dr. Mary Wilde
Dr. Mary Wilde is a board-certified pediatrician, author, and mother of 8 who spends a lot of her time helping people decrease anxiety during anxious times…
- The Virtual Couch
Do I Really Need More TP or Bottled Water? Aka "If Everybody Else is Doing it, Shouldn't I?"
With things changing rapidly thanks to the spread of COVID-19 and the Coronavirus, it is becoming increasingly more difficult to know exactly what to do, how…
- The Virtual Couch
Coronavirus Rule #1...Don't Touch Your Face! Why Can't You NOW Stop Touching Your Face? Thought Suppression & Rebound Behaviors
With the continued information about the coronavirus coming in almost by the minute, two things have remained consistent...wash your hands long enough to sing…
- The Virtual Couch
Living with a Narcissistic Parent - Tina Fuller, Author of "It's My Turn"
Author Tina Fuller joins Tony to talk about her book "It's My Turn" https://amzn.to/2ImIMtk which details her experiences in growing up with a narcissistic…
- The Virtual Couch
Psychological Reactance...You Don't Need to Listen To This Episode, Actually I Wouldn't If I Were You!
Simply put, psychological reactance is the instantaneous response that we have when we're told what to do. In business it is often called "change resistance"…
- The Virtual Couch
Ginger Elizabeth Hahn, World Renowned Chocolatier on Battling Roadblocks, Postpartum Depression, Fighting Childhood Cancer w/St. Baldricks
When Ginger Hahn, the founder of Ginger Elizabeth Chocolates' daughter was only 6 days old she had an intestinal bypass. According to Ginger, "It was the worst…
- The Virtual Couch
A New Approach to Treating Trauma - Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) with Lora Abraham, LCSW
Lora Abraham, LCSW and a former high school classmate of Tony's, uses EMDR to treat clients who present with a variety of types of trauma. What is EMDR? From…